


Heaven Cracks and Chips of Sky Fall

by SkyChasingDreamer



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Attempt at Humor, BL, Banter, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Romance, Slow Build, Supernatural Elements, Wingfic, Wings, Yaoi, boys have feelings, eventual GinHiji, otp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-21 12:19:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 199,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/900235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyChasingDreamer/pseuds/SkyChasingDreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gintoki/Hijikata pairing - Gintoki was still standing, but he was frozen, eyes wide and unblinking. Hijikata's fingers twitched, ice chips broke out all over his skin, a sweat so cold and sudden the hairs on the back of his neck rose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Hijikata was sitting in the back of the patrol car, smoking a chain of cigarettes, one after another after another after another. His fingertips were stained, his ashtray was overflowing, smoke billowed around, trapped like smog. His head was still pounding, but that was the least of his problems, the very, very, very least.

His phone was beside him, black and silent when he wanted it to be lit up and blaring with life. He shifted in his seat, one leg propped over the other, and his brow was ticking away, would probably tick right off his face at some point. Fucking ridiculous – how long had he been left waiting? What was keeping everyone? He'd had a headache since he'd woken and it hadn't gone away yet, he didn't see it going away anytime soon, either.

Glancing out the window, he scowled around his cigarette, the bright, warm day not reflecting the turmoil raging inside him as it should. There should be a goddamn hurricane tearing through houses and uprooting everything in its path! Not really, though, because that would be putting the people he worked so hard to protect in danger and he couldn't have that.

He finished that cigarette and started on another, the ashtray right in front of him sitting on the partition between the seats. He was sitting in the middle of the backseat because... of a reason. It was a good reason, too. Well, actually, it was two reasons. Two very big and unexpected reasons he found to be both fascinating and horrifying. He was sure the universe was crapping on him, taking one huge dump without bothering to wipe up afterward.

The windows of the car were tinted and that, at least, was something to be grateful for. By no means did he enjoy being trapped in there, unable to leave the car, unable to do anything except sit and smoke and twitch. He thought stuff over, dissected everything he'd done that could piss the universe off enough to backlash like this and while he could think of  _plenty_ of shitty shit he'd done, nothing could have warranted this kind of... punishment or blessing.

He honestly didn't know which it was! In terms of his job and general life – or lack thereof when he wasn't working – it was definitely a punishment. It hindered him, slowed him down, he couldn't even go outside! What was he supposed to do, stay in with Paperwork-san all day everyday? Like hell! Toushiro Hijikata stay out of the action? Demon Vice-Commander sidelined? There was no way!

On the other hand, he couldn't imagine it being a blessing. He wasn't the type that deserved... even just the word  _blessing_  in terms of himself left a nasty, bitter taste at the back of his throat. It – he couldn't explain it, the it he'd been referring to the whole time, the it that was an anomaly, the it that had so thoroughly pissed him the fuck off.

 _It_ being: the two big black wings jutting out of his back.

Yeah.

Let that sink in.

Wings. He had wings. Fucking  _wings,_ people!

Hijikata looked over his shoulder and glared at the right one, the feathers black as pitch and he was sure they were mocking him somehow. He didn't know how it'd happened. In the middle of his morning patrol there had been a flash of pain out of fucking nowhere before everything had gone dark. He'd woken in his room a couple hours later with a crippling headache and, of course, his new attachments that had burst right through his clothes to leave twin gaping holes behind. He was the only one that had them, too, everyone else was wing free, the lucky bastards.

It'd been suggested to him to stay inside during the start of the investigation and that hadn't gone over well at all. Case and point, Hijikata was in the squad car a block away from where he'd been struck down. He understood why Kondo-san had brought up the point of him staying behind, but Hijikata wasn't at all good at sitting around waiting. He needed to do things, move, take action! However, being trapped in the car so no one would see him sort of proved that he really should have stayed behind, at least there he would have Paperwork-san to comfort him. In the car all he had was his cigarettes, of which he only had three remaining, and limited space to batter his frustrations around in.

For the record, it felt really goddamn weird to have wings extending out of his back. Standing up for the first time had been hellish! He'd looked and felt like a toddler! His equilibrium had been nonexistent and he'd fallen more than once, even got nauseous a few times – though he attributed that to his pounding headache. It hadn't helped that Sougo had been there teasing him the whole time and recording videos on his phone for later blackmail.

After Hijikata had gotten used to standing and walking – he was convinced he couldn't run yet – actually controlling the wings became his focus. Right from the get go, they'd been a pain. They flopped and jerked and didn't do a thing he told them, they'd been and still were inexorably useless. Getting into the car had been a task because he'd tried to lower them and fold them closer to his body, but they'd instead taken on a mind of their own, one snapping outward and the other raising as high as it could go at the crest. It'd taken the manpower of Kondo-san, Sougo, and Zaki combined to wrangle them and get Hijikata into the vehicle. That alone had been fucking mortifying if the rest of it wasn't enough.

Zaki had driven him and Kondo-san to this point, not too far and not too close to where it'd happened. They were out looking at the exact spot, getting in-tell, finding out what people had seen, doing the first screening of the investigation. Hijikata would be out there too, but no one could see him like this, winged and wobbling like a newborn giraffe when he walked, all knobby knees and imbalance. His reputation would be completely obliterated if word got out about it, people would laugh instead of fear and that would be unacceptable to the highest. And another thing, Hijikata couldn't slip into and disappear within a crowd the way he usually did, there was no way wings like his would go unnoticed ever, they quite literally were a target on his back.

It sucked... this whole thing  _sucked_ , he hated it! Angrily stubbing out his second to last cigarette, he brought his final one to his lips and took it in, but didn't light it yet. His voice was going to be so raw and dry the next day from smoking so much, but fuck it, he had a perfectly good reason to do so. His wings were smashed between himself and the seat, keeping them efficiently pinned so they couldn't do anything weird while he was stewing in his malcontent.

A flash of something bright had him looking out the left window and immediately, his mood soured further. The Yorozuya were walking down the road and looked to be bickering about some thing or another. Four Eyes and China were mad and yelling, at times pushing at Gintoki to, what looked like, trying to get him to turn around. The bastard was having none of it though and shooed them away each time they tried, his frown making him look annoyed while his dead fish eyes just made him look stupid like always.

The worst thing was that Hijikata found himself to be somewhat envious of them, they could walk around! Come and go as they pleased and not be trapped in some stupid place like a goddamn squad car. Gnashing his teeth on the cigarette, Hijikata punched the passenger seat and cursed, he was pathetic! Being envious of someone like the natural perm freak, what the hell was that about?

It was as Hijikata was glaring a hole into Gintoki's head that it happened. Out of nowhere, a lightning bolt struck Gintoki and the whole world flashed white, so blinding Hijikata had to shield his eyes. It lasted but a second and once it was over, he was staring out the window again, hand on the handle. Gintoki was still standing, but he was frozen, eyes wide and unblinking. Hijikata's fingers twitched, ice chips broke out all over his skin, a sweat so cold and sudden the hairs on the back of his neck rose.

Gintoki's body jerked and with a thunder blast so loud it rocked the car, two gigantic white wings burst from Gintoki's back. He took one step, visibly fighting to stay on his feet, but with a tremendous shudder, he fell flat on his face, ass in the air.


	2. Chapter One

Hijikata was going to hit him, throttle Gintoki right in the face and wake the bastard up. It'd been almost two hours and he'd lost patience after the first ten minutes, Gintoki needed to wake the fuck up already. After the whole huge thunderous scene of wings exploding out of Gintoki's back, appropriate measures had been taken.

The sound had been loud enough to attract plenty of attention, had it gone unnoticed, Hijikata would have gotten out of the car. However, a crowd had formed and he hadn't wanted his own wings to be uncovered, so he'd stayed put, much to his displeasure. Kondo-san and Zaki were on scene in moments and once they'd taken over and staked off the area, order had been claimed. Gintoki had been brought to the car since it was the closest safe place nearby – China could really pull her weight when she needed to – and that had resulted in the most awkward and uncomfortable drive of Hijikata's life.

Two grown men with wings did absolutely  _not_  fit in the back of a vehicle! It was terrible! They'd been mashed up in positions Hijikata hadn't even known existed until he had a mouthful of feathers and a heavy body literally shoved into his lap after they'd all played Tetris to get the big oaf to fit. Hijikata's own wings had been smashed into the seat, but was that all? Of course not. How could they leave without Gintoki's brats? The two piled in, jamming themselves impossibly into the cab because god forbid they let Gintoki go for one goddamn second!

Zaki had driven again with Kondo-san in the back seat and Hijikata got to have China glaring at him the whole way. Four Eyes at least  _tried_ to be polite, but that gratuity was frigid at best, not that Hijikata cared. He was snapping at all of them – except Kondo-san – and it was best to just leave the rest of that ride out of it because that had been hell.

Fast forwarding to the moment, Gintoki was in Hijikata's room, a decision that he'd had  _no_ part in making, and the freak was still out cold, even after the retelling of getting him into the car. His wings were flopped unnaturally to either side of him, his shirt a tattered mess where the additaments had burst through. The yukata was still on, the wing on that side having pushed it aside rather than go right through it. Hijikata was still lamenting the loss of his jacket, so naturally it wasn't fair Gintoki's yukata had gone unharmed, he was almost tempted to rip it himself and say the wing had done it.

Transporting Gintoki from the car to his room had been, as one would guess, a disaster. Though, he'd gotten some fiendish delight whenever Gintoki's body was bumped into things, the brute was too big for his own good. Must have been all the sweets and junk he ate that made him so hulk-ish. Zaki had helped Hijikata to his room, something neither of them had been happy about by the end of it because Zaki had a few more bruises than before and Hijikata dignity had been severely hacked into. But that was it, the last leg. Gintoki had been put on the futon and Hijikata was currently on his knees at the head of the bed,  _still_ waiting for the bastard to rouse.

"This is bullshit," Hijikata muttered, lifting a hand to poke at Gintoki's cheek.

Just one poke, then he recoiled quick, just in case. There was no reaction, so he changed another poke, a light  _squish_  to the soft flesh. Two times was Hijikata's limit, the third time, instead of poking, he slapped the side of Gintoki's face hard enough for his palm to tingle afterward. With a heaving groan, Gintoki took in a loud breath and his body twitched, an arm reaching out and grabbing at absolutely nothing before falling back to the bed.

"Hnn... wha'? Wha's zup?"

"Good, you're awake," Hijikata said primly, clearing his throat behind the hand that committed the slapping crime. "How do you feel?"

Gintoki groaned again. "Like I just took a massive shit outta my back. The fuck did you do? Wait, who the hell are you?" He raised his head, blinking and squinting his eyes so his face was all puckered up. "Oh. It's you. Shoulda known, rotten luck."

Gintoki's face fell into the pillow with a  _thump_  and Hijikata was already fed up. "Quit whining and answer the fucking question!"

"Wha's the question?"

Hijikata had to take a breath before he could get out, "How. Do. You. Feel?"

"Wouldn't notice if a train hit me!" Gintoki quipped and moaned like his head was splitting open, Hijikata knew the feeling well. "Fuck, wha' d'ya do to me? You did somethin', I know it."

"Shut up for a second, idiot, and look at me."

"Don't wanna, slowly dying. An' you're ugly."

"Oi, drama queen! I said look  _up_!" Hijikata grabbed Gintoki's hair and yanked. "Notice anything?"

"Ack – ah! Shit! Your brow, it's doing that wriggly thing, s'creepy! You always hit me when it does that!"

Hijikata leaned forward, canting his shoulder so his wing on that side could be seen better. "I swear to fuck, if you don't notice a certain," he jerked Gintoki's head up higher, " _something_ , it's seppuku for you!"

Gintoki had gone still, his eyes wide, breath seeming frozen inside his throat. "You've got... are those... am I dead? Wait... are  _you_  dead? Why do you have wings? Shouldn't they be horns?"

"Fu – no! Look at your own fucking back!"

"You're holding onto my hair!" Instead of letting go, Hijikata twisted Gintoki's head until he was able to look back and any other time, the screech that sounded through the room might have been amusing. "I'm dead! I've got wings too, that's it, it's over, goodbye cruel world!  _Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sle_ –"

"No singing!" Hijikata shouted, shoving Gintoki's face back down into the pillow before he let go. "And you're not dead, I mean,  _we_  aren't, we just, ah, we've got," a lame shrug, "wings."

Gintoki peeked up at him. "Not dead?"

" _No!_ "

"How – ouch-ch-ch, my goddamn head is splitting! How d'you know?"

"I've talked to Sougo and Kondo-san."

"Do they –"

"No."

"You dunno what I was gonna say."

Hijikata sighed and said through gritted teeth. "What were you gonna say?"

"Doesn't matter, you answered it already."

Gargling, Hijikata smacked Gintoki's head and leaned back until he fell on his ass. This was why he hated Gintoki, the guy was insufferable! And also accepted having wings a hell of a lot quicker than Hijikata himself had. Eying the bastard, he narrowed his gaze and glared, but it did little good since he was being ignored. Gintoki was in his own world and with a large amount of hesitation, Gintoki reached up and touched his head. His fingers sifted through his hair and the oddest expression crossed his face.

Hijikata's brows raised, sure that he didn't want to know what that was all about, so he wasn't going to ask, he didn't want to know. Hijikata stayed silent, letting Gintoki have a moment to acclimate to this bazaar situation and that initial headache really was a bitch, though he couldn't picture Gintoki taking anything for it. Once Gintoki was satisfied, he shoved his face back into the blanket he was laying on and Hijikata had to do something then because he couldn't have the idiot falling asleep.

"Think you can get up?"

Gintoki lifted his head, eyes crossed and brows pinched, he looked like a wild animal that had just gotten woken up prematurely from hibernation. Tossing his bangs out of his face with a breath, Gintoki moved, shifting first to his knees, then pushing off with his arms to stand. Hijikata had his arms raised, ready to catch the bastard because there was no such thing as balance with wings. But Gintoki stood, just popped right up like it'd been no big deal. His wings were still flopped and limp, they hadn't so much as twitched the whole time.

"You're standing," Hijikata said, arms still raised.

Gintoki raised a brow. "And you're sitting, there, we're both unobservant now."

"Why are your wings like that? Can't you move them?"

Surely the wings weren't activated yet or something, that was why Gintoki was able to move so easily. That  _had_ to be it, yeah, that was the only explanation. Hijikata's wings had never been slack and unresponsive like that, they'd been moving from the beginning, Gintoki's just hadn't started throwing off his equilibrium yet.

Grumbling, Gintoki looked over his shoulder and said, "Move." Nothing happened and he raised his arms up. "Arise!" Nada. "I command you to flap!" Zilch. Huffing, Gintoki walked in a circle, his lax wings dragging behind him. "What gives? And where is everyone?"

"Your kids were here for awhile, but then China got hungry so they left for food. Keep trying to –"

Gintoki clutched his heart. "Abandoned for hungry bellies!"

"They're coming back, said something about bringing you a parfait or –"

"Parfait?" Gintoki squawked, both his wings popping up with a snap. "Did you say parfait? Please tell me you're not lying!"

Hijikata blinked. "Wings..."

Gintoki looked back and the fully operational movement behind him. "Oh, so that's how they work. Cool." He whipped back around to face Hijikata, prancing in place. "Tell me more about this parfait! Are you sure that's what they said?"

"Would you shut up about that stupid parfait," Hijikata snarled and Gintoki gasped, looking scandalized. "Why are you not falling over?" Hijikata thundered, grabbing onto his hair and pulling. "I don't get this! I can barely stand and you can fucking skip around the room like some goddamn ballerina!"

"You... can barely stand?"

"Why the fuck do you think I've been sitting the whole time?" Hijikata raged, letting go of his hair before he tugged a patch out. The last thing he needed was a stupid bald spot, that would only add to his humility. "How the hell are you  _doing_ that?"

"I don't know? It's not that hard!" Gintoki said, strutting around to make his point, even doing stupid little twirls that had his wings fanning out.

"Yes it is! Move your left wing up." Frowning, Gintoki stopped and did so, his wing smoothly rising up. "No! That's bullshit! Put it down and shake your right one." Making a loud discontented noise, Gintoki followed the instruction, the feathers rustling when he shook them. "The actual  _fuck?_ How're you able to do that? Tell me your secrets!"

"There's no secrets! You just move them, I guess, I don't know!" Gintoki walked in a circle, moving his wings up and down and side to side without a problem. He wasn't falling over, wasn't having any balance issues, one would think he'd been born with the stupid things. "It's like having a second set of arms, except out of your back. This is kinda nifty."

Hijikata was livid. Roaring, he scrambled to his feet, then cursed when the first thing he did was flop to the side. He cussed and spat and kicked trying to right himself, but all he managed to do was smack his wings on the floor and flail uselessly. Worse, Gintoki had halted and was staring at him, mouth wobbling.

"Don't you dare laugh, fucker!"

And, of course, Gintoki belted out the loudest most depraved laugh in all the universe. Hijikata's face heated up in anger and embarrassed as he slowly tried to get to his feet with limited success. Meanwhile, Gintoki was dying, doubled over with his fully goddamn functional wings obediently staying half-mast and out of the way.

"Good god, mayora, what's wrong with them?"

"Hell if I know," Hijikata spat contemptuously. "They don't work."

Gintoki stood on his tiptoes to see the wings better over top Hijikata. "They don't look broken."

"You are literally the biggest idiot."

"Well, this idiot's wings work just fine, so what does that say about you?" Gintoki took a couple steps closer and reached out a hand. "Lemme see'em."

Hijikata jerked away, trying to stand, but he only toppled over. "No, stop that. Go away. I said stop, not come closer! Stop following me!" Hijikata kept scooting along the floor doing inventive crab walks until a hand accidentally landed on his wing and he fell to his back. "Ah – fuck!"

"Will you hold still now?" Gintoki asked, eyes dancing with mirth.

"No, bastard, I said go away!" Hijikata yelled, lifting a leg, prepared to kick Gintoki where it hurt.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours," Gintoki replied, wriggling a brow.

"What of  _no_ don't you understand?" Hijikata kicked out, aiming right between Gintoki's legs, but his foot got caught midair. A look of sheer disgruntled horror passed over his face as Gintoki pulled, starting to drag him toward the center of the room where there was more space. "No, no, no, no! Leggo! Seppuku for you, natural perm!"

"Gin-chan!"

"Gin-san!"

"Saviors!" Gintoki cried, immediately dropping Hijikata's leg and spinning toward the door.

He opened his arms to his kids as they ran in, his wings similarly opening in a coordination that made the Vice-Commander seethe.

China dove right into him and hugged him so hard she picked him up off the ground. "You shouldn't worry mother like that!"

"Oi! We've been through worse! Now, tell Gin-san you brought him a parfait!"

Four Eyes smiled and lifted up the sack in his hands and right about when Gintoki screeched was when Hijikata tuned out. He let out a breath and his head fell to the floor, he hated that natural perm freak. Couldn't stand the damn bastard for reasons just like that, being dragged across his own room by his leg, how debasing. At least he could be glad Sougo wasn't there, otherwise Hijikata was sure there would be more footage that could be used against him later on. The trio talked loudly and Hijikata's headache throbbed back because he knew this all was just the start of his woes.

Sure enough, when he began paying attention again to what was being said around him, the first thing he heard was Kondo-san – when the hell had he joined them? – saying, "Looking forward to having you around for awhile, Sakata-san!"

Hijikata's felt ill as his stomach plummeted and he lifted his head with a furious, " _WHAT?"_

 

 

  
**To Be Continued** _  
_


	3. Chapter Two

"He can't stay here!" Hijikata snapped, pointing a finger at Gintoki. He was so enraged he was shaking and his wings were doing every manner of twitchy things to match. He stared at Kondo, silently pleading for him to say that this was some kind of joke. "Why would he  _stay?_  Who would want that, hah?"

"If you don't want me here so much, why not get up and throw me out?" Gintoki said, idly eating his parfait.

Hijikata blushed furiously and slammed a fist into the floor, which helped drown out Sougo's stupid little cackle.

"Kondo-san!" Hijikata made his look all the more imploring and motioned with his hands in a way he hoped made sense.

Kondo scratched his head, looking truly contrite. "I'm sorry, Toshi! There's no way around it. We need him here to keep an eye on you both, who knows what these wings could mean! He has to stay close by in case anything happens and that will give us time to figure out what we can about it."

"He can't stay! He –" They didn't have any spare rooms, not anymore. Their last few had been taken by some new recruits and one of them was being used for storage, packed so tight and jammed full of so much stuff, there was no way that one would be cleaned out anytime soon. As soon as that hit, Hijikata exploded, "You can't mean here,  _here!_  Not in my room!"

"You know how limited we are on space, there's nowhere else for him to stay."

"Why not with Sougo? They get along better!"

Sougo was holding China's wrist to stop a punch as he said, "You're room is bigger."

"Not the point!" His attention turned to Gintoki. "Say something! Don't just stand there like a buffoon, you can't want to stay anymore than I want you to!"

"Not now, mayora, I'm eating. Never interrupt a man when he has a parfait!"

Hijikata's shoulders scrunched up and one of his wings smacked him on the back of his head. "Tsk! You can't be serious! This can't be real!"

"It's only temporary," Kondo said as Gintoki was tugged over and away by Four Eyes. "Just until we find out more about this. You should take the opportunity to catch your breath, too. You've been working yourself too hard."

"But Kondo-san –"

"You'll be fine! It'll be over before you know it!"

Left with no room to argue, Hijikata turned his gaze over to where Gintoki was standing, still stuffing his stupid face with that parfait. China was touching his wings, smooshing her face against the base of the left one while Four Eyes touched the right one, pulling it out to open it a little. Sougo had absconded Kondo to talk and that just left Hijikata to sit with his unsteady wings that didn't listen to a goddamn thing he tried to get them to do.

This... was going to be bad, he could already tell.

-o-O-o-

It was worse than bad, actually, as Hijikata's nose filled with a rancid smell that quickly took over the whole room. He was furious and full to bursting with every kind of loathing imaginable and had all happened thanks to an apple.

But have some recap for the week before he got into that: The first night had been the absolute worst night so far. He and Gintoki had both gotten little to no sleep because the second they were left alone, they were too busy bickering. They fought about everything and Hijikata wondered what he'd done to the universe to piss it off so thoroughly. Their futons were side by side, but not touching, and finding a comfortable spot was really fucking difficult with wings. Hijikata had to lay on his back to keep his down so they wouldn't twitch so much and Gintoki – fucking  _Gintoki_  – just  _had_ to lay on his stomach and try to stretch his wings out. Every single time the wing on Hijikata's side came within reaching distance, he hit it and he wasn't at all nice about it. That just pissed Gintoki off because then he had to keep his wing pulled in against him and according to him it was 'too cramped.' Hijikata didn't have an ounce of sympathy since his own wings were uncomfortable to lay on, but he didn't have any other choice.

All they did everyday was fight and snap at each other or ignore one another completely if they could. Gintoki was round the clock obnoxious and that only got worse whenever Hijikata took time to try and work on his motor skills. He wanted to do that stuff in private, but Gintoki was  _always around_. The guy wouldn't go away! He'd leave to go loiter in Sougo's room for awhile doing fuck knew what and Hijikata would try to do as much as he could, but all too soon, Gintoki would be back, usually after raiding the kitchens.

As for Hijikata's ability to move about... it wasn't getting any better. He was able to walk  _maybe_  a step farther than the first day before he was sprawled out or desperately clutching something to keep him upright. Simply standing was difficult, even if all he was doing was holding still, it felt like there was a breeze pushing on him from all sides, but the push on his right side would be stronger than the one on his left or the push on his back would just slam into him and become stronger than all the others.

It was ridiculous! What kind of Vice-Commander couldn't fucking  _walk_? It was embarrassing and humiliating and degrading, he was losing so much time that should be spent working because of his stupid wings. The only good thing he could say about them was that they were resilient, for all the times he'd fallen, he'd never hurt them. They could thump into things, the floor, door frames, other people, his desk, and be completely fine. A lot of times he had to use his sword as a prop to help him get around, but even that was slow going.

And one of the absolute worst parts, one of the many things that pissed Hijikata right off, was  _showers_. Just the thought filled him with dread and that sucked because taking a nice hot shower at the end of the day – or whenever he had time – used to be taking a hot shower and rinsing off the grime of a hard day's work. But now that he spent his days trying to do every amount of paperwork he could, he didn't accumulate much grime and clothing... fucking  _clothing_. Getting dressed and undressed was the most difficult thing with wings! Trying to angle them  _just right_  to fit them through the slits in his yukata, it was so goddamn complicated! Especially for him since his wings didn't tend to always listen to him.

They had a certain time every other day when the bathroom was intentionally vacated and they both went to wash up, but they barely spoke and once they entered the actual bathroom, interaction ceased altogether. They didn't get there at the same time more often than not anyway since it took Hijikata longer to get there. Just to paint a picture at how hard it was to dress, even Gintoki and all his  _gifted_ wing control had trouble with it. Hijikata never watched because they were always in different corners of the bathroom, but he could hear Gintoki cuss and snarl.

The shower itself was still nice, Hijikata was sure he'd always enjoy the feeling of near scalding hot water, but it was definitely not what it used to be. His wings knocked things over, made it hard for him to fit when they randomly opened up and smacked into a wall. However, it did feel good to get them wet and they were always quick to dry afterward once he managed to shake them out. He always shed some feathers in the shower, too. He hadn't known he'd be shedding feathers every once in awhile, but it wasn't uncommon for him to wake up after a fitful night to find some in his bed. It was the same for Gintoki, too, and Hijikata always threw the things away to keep everything as clean as he could. Anyway, it was easier to dress with help, but he was too proud to ask and he sure as hell wasn't going to say anything to Gintoki about it. He managed fine on his own, it just took... time... and patience he didn't have.

On the topic of patience, Hijikata practically started everyday with: zero. It was so hot and humid out that he woke in a sweat and it only got worse from there. All the heat made him grouchy and irritable and his unwanted wings and unwanted 'guest' only exacerbated it. Had he mentioned yet how annoying Gintoki was? The asshole didn't shut up for a goddamn second! Just prattled on and on about the stupidest shit and he whined about every little thing, particularly the heat. Which brought Hijikata back to how often they fought and all the lame things they fought over, it was exhausting. As was Kondo stopping by each day to see him and inform him that they hadn't found anything out yet. There was always a promise of, 'soon, soon,' but each time, Kondo sounded less and less convincing. Hijikata had no idea what to make of that, so he granted Kondo more time, but he wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to keep it up.

Now, onto the apple business – Hijikata was in his room, staring bleakly down at his next page to review and edit and he was reaching a standstill. Not because of the paperwork, he enjoyed Paperwork-san because it was all he could do while out of commission, but he was just getting burned out. A whole week of staying in his room, barely getting to go out except to smoke and swelter in the heat, struggling in the bathroom over clothes, and just the whole  _wing thing_ , he was reaching his wit's end. His brow was ticking as – _crunch_ – he bit into his apple. The apple he'd had to venture out and get himself because he'd been hungry and mayo forbid Gintoki get it when he'd gone into the cafeteria to scrounge up a snack. Hijikata had been relatively nice in asking, too, but  _no_ , Gintoki had to be a bitch about it and snark at him with a, 'You want it? Get it yourself, bastard!'

It was a good apple though! Almost worth the fifteen minute trip of clutching walls and pausing when someone passed by so he wouldn't look totally uncool. He couldn't let his men see him so weak and unstable, that just wouldn't do. So, the voyage that used to only take him three minutes took him fifteen instead and wasn't that shitty? Gintoki was across the room and sitting on his futon, his expression less than friendly as he flipped through an older issue of Jump his kids had brought when they'd visited earlier in the day.

_Crunch._

Hijikata was sure Gintoki hated being at the barracks and if he didn't in the beginning because he'd thought it'd only be a couple days, then he definitely did now. They'd gotten into a spat shortly after Hijikata's return from the kitchens, a quick back and forth of snarls and growls about how Gintoki never cleans up his futon or the area around it. It was always littered with trash, wrappers and the like from all the sweets and pudding cups he tended to eat. Hijikata didn't mind the futon staying out so much as he did Gintoki just constantly being around and in the way. The guy could be renamed Underfoot because that was where he was nine out of ten times, which was fastidiously annoying considering Hijikata's balance deficiency.

 _Crunch_.

Gintoki probably also hated it because he wanted to be with his kids. Hijikata wasn't stupid, he'd noticed the subtle little looks Gintoki would give Four Eyes and China whenever they left, they were looks that said he so desperately wanted to go with them. So, really, he and the bastard were in much the same boat in not wanting to be trapped in Hijikata's room. He hadn't asked what Gintoki thought about having wings, he didn't care what Gintoki thought about anything – if he could even think at all, his intelligence was questionable at best. Hijikata couldn't actually imagine being cooped up in a room was all that different from Gintoki's daily life of lazing around and doing nothing conducive to anything. Then again, take away a person's ability to do something and that was what they wanted to do most, like when you get in a car knowing you wouldn't be able to piss for awhile, the second you get in, you suddenly had to take a leak.

_Crunch._

"I can't take it anymore!" Gintoki screamed, chucking his empty pudding cup across the room along with his Jump. "You've kept me trapped in here a whole week, that's it! I'm done, I've had it!"

Hijikata didn't so much as look up. "Shut up."

"No! I'm serious! I'm so fucking done with all of this!"

"You know we can't go out."

"I don't care! I can't stay in anymore, it's killing me! Look at my complexion, it's suffering!"

Hijikata's glanced up and rolled his eyes. "Sit down, you look psychotic."

"Oh, that's generous! After being stuck in here for a week with you, it's a miracle I'm not clinically insane by now!" Gintoki seethed, stopping his foot like a petulant child.

"Go for a walk to the cafeteria or something then, just quit bitching, I'm trying to work."

_Crunch._

Gintoki's screech was loud and thought shattering as he slammed his hands over his ears. "Enough with the apple!  _Crunch, crunch, crunch_ , that's all I hear! It's like the mark of impending doom, the fatal moment in the soap opera just before one of the characters meets his or her demise!"

And Gintoki just... started running around the room. He leaped on things, flapping his wings to gain leverage as he jumped up and pushed off a wall and the resultant wind sent Hijikata's papers scattering everywhere. Cursing, Hijikata dove for any he could reach and tried to gather them, pin them down,  _something_  so that they wouldn't get caught up in the whirlwind that was a wild Gintoki dashing around his room. His half-eaten apple was tossed somewhere so he'd have both hands and that just pissed him off even more because he was reduced to trashing his own room because of this moron.

"I'm cramped, I'm bored, I'm sweaty, I'm hungry, I don't want to be here anymore!" Gintoki yelled as he circled the desk, spun in the air, ran into things.

"Goddamn it, bastard! You're destroying my room!"

"You're in it – room has already been destroyed!"

"Arghh, you idiot! Quit it already!"

"You cannot contain me!"

Hijikata yelled as his inkwell tipped over and sent the liquid all over his desk, staining the wood. He was so angry his wings were twitching and his teeth grit hard, he wished he had a cigarette between his lips to gnaw on. He couldn't get up and beat Gintoki to a pulp, he wouldn't be able to chase the fucker down! Gintoki was still doing parkour all over the place and being loud as fuck about it, whining about this and that. Hijikata was seconds away from slamming his face against the ink free section of his desk in frustration when Gintoki tripped and fell flat on his face in the middle of the room. Just –  _caput!_ And the bastard was down and motionless. His wings were unmoving as well, half-extended and raised enough to not touch the ground while Hijikata's own continued to twitch like they had tourettes.

"I hope you just killed yourself," Hijikata spat vehemently. "If you didn't, then seppuku!"

"I hate everything about this," Gintoki said into the floor in a flat voice. Then added with a lighter tone, "Except the free food, that's a plus."

Hijikata flipped the fucker off even though he couldn't see it and began gathering all the papers. He didn't look up as Gintoki shifted into a sitting position, he could see it from his peripherals and he knew that if he did look, he'd just get even more pissy. Wiping some sweat off his brow with the back of his hand, he bunched a stack up and set it to the side so he could turn his attention to the ink. He didn't have a towel or anything, just some napkins he'd grabbed with his apple, so he used those to soak up the majority of the mess. His desk was definitely stained and once he was able to get his hands on Gintoki, he was going to throttle the asshole.

Speaking of though, Gintoki had gone eerily quiet **,** _too_  quiet. Looking over, he did, in fact, get more pissy and Hijikata could only squint at the way Gintoki was staring off into space, hair all tousled and forehead glistening with his wings starting to slowly bunch up behind him. Something was up, he knew it, he could  _feel_ it.

"Is –"

Gintoki's face screwed up to the most unattractive and constipated looking thing just before he let out the mother of all sneezes. " _ACHOO!"_

Feathers. Everywhere.

On. Everything.

"What did you just  _do?"_

"I don't know!" Gintoki cried as feathers rained down like falling snow.

Hijikata was afraid to breathe, there were white feathers floating in the air and when Hijikata waved a hand to get them away, that only brought a torrent of them back into his face. They weren't big feathers, they were the small downy ones, most of them tiny, no bigger than his pinky finger. But  _how the hell were there so many?_

"Where did all these fucking things come from? And – oi! What the fuck are you doing?"

Gintoki was gathering them to him, snatching them out of the air and congregating a mass of them into a pile in his lap.

"Don't swat at them like that! Be gentle with the Gin-feathers!"

Gin-feathers.

"Did you seriously just call them th –  _herk!_ "

He'd swallowed one. A stupid little feather had just ninja-ed its way into his mouth and down his throat and now it was stuck there. It was the worst feeling! Worse than taking a pill and having that feeling like it hadn't been swallowed and was just coated to the esophagus. He grabbed his throat and wheezed, face puckering, and he had to wave his other hand to keep more feathers from fluttering into his face.

"W-w-wat-ter," Hijikata choked, coughing and wriggling his tongue to try and get the thing out. "Eiii – n-need w-w-water!"

"Get your own damn water, fuck head! Wait, what are you doing? Why do you look like that? You... did you...? You swallowed one! Gross, spit it out! Aw, c'mon, mayora! That's my goddamn feather, don't go eating it!"

Hijikata was going to kill him... once he got the feather from his throat. Livid, Hijikata flopped and crawled along the floor, leaving a trail in the fallen feathers, until his hand wrapped around his bottled water. He took a swallow, then another, but the feeling persisted, and even when he ran a finger in his mouth, it didn't help. Meanwhile, Gintoki was having a grand old time playing with his kingdom of feathers, making every manner of puttering sounds as he tossed some in the air so they'd rain down over his head.

There was a knock on the door just before it began to slide open and Yamazaki walked in. "Fukuchou? I heard noi..se..s... Fukuchou... why is your room a feather wonderland?"

Hijikata pointed a savage finger at Gintoki. "He sneezed!"

"They're really all his?"

"Do you see any black feathers in this mess?" Hijikata snapped, waving his arms around at all the white feathers. "I don't know how the hell there are so many, just to whatever you have to to get rid of them!"

Gintoki let out a scream and hoarded as many feathers as he could to himself. "How dare you! Let's get rid of you instead, bastard!"

"It's  _my_  room!"

"So you keep reminding me! The place wouldn't be so bad if you weren't in it!"

Gintoki looked so dumb with feathers all over him, in his hair, on his shoulders, mounded in his lap over his crossed legs. His bottom lip was popped out in a pout and he was seriously protective of the stupid feathers, what the hell was this? Even his wings were gathering the feathers to Gintoki's sides, stirring the airborne ones up to keep them dancing. Hijikata hated so much about what was becoming of his life, he didn't even know how to properly convey his extreme displeasure short of spontaneously combusting.

"Zaki! I said get rid of them!"

"Ah... hai!" Yamazaki saluted and looked around, confused, before deciding, "I'll go get some bags and a broom and... lots of help."

Growling, Hijikata spitefully gathered a small pile of feathers and procured his lighter as he picked one up to burn it. He caught Gintoki's eye as he lit up and set fire to the thing, nearly torching the end of his finger because of how fast the feather burned. The smell was rancid and spread quickly around the room, but that didn't deter Hijikata's resolve in the least.

"Hate you," Gintoki simpered, safeguarding his hoard of feathers with hunched shoulders and similarly hunched wings.

Hijikata picked up another one to set fire to as they glared at each other. "Hate you more."

And the feather  _burned._

 

  
_  
_ **To Be Continued**


	4. Chapter Three

Gintoki and Hijikata sat next to each other, one with a black eye and a pout and the other with a swollen cheek and an intense frown. Kondo was sitting in front of them with his arms crossed and it was quiet in the room, not even a wing rustled. It was a stifling quiet, charged with an intensity that created electric sparks between the two men seated side by side. Hijikata, at least, was contrite on behalf of his Commander, Gintoki... not so much.

"So..." Kondo began, "what happened?"

"He took my feathers!" Gintoki yelled, jumping at the chance to punch Hijikata's shoulder. "He even burned some of them!"

Hijikata swatted right back. "He destroyed my room! Sent Paperwork-san everywhere!"

He motioned with his free hand to the mess around his room and Kondo took it in. But then Hijikata's attention was right back on Gintoki and they poked and prodded at each other. Fingers were shoved up his nose and his hand twisted in Gintoki's hair, trying to yank out all the natural perm he could.

"You were eating that goddamn apple so loud! Who eats an apple like that?"

"Everyone! It was an  _apple!_ How are you supposed to eat them?"

"Silently!"

"Enough!" Both men turned to look at Kondo whose eyes were narrowed at them, arms still crossed. "You two are going to stay in here until you can agree on something."

"I'm sure we can agree that we both don't want to do that," said Gintoki in a neutral tone, fingers still very much shoved up Hijikata's nose.

Hijikata made an agreeing sound. "It's bad enough having to stay in my room."

"Could you two... stop that?" Gintoki and Hijikata glanced at each other, Gintoki stuck out his tongue and Hijikata glared, but both of them took their tangled arms away from each other. "Right," Kondo went on, "you know what I mean when I say agree with each other! In order for you two to start getting along you need to find some common ground." He paused long enough for agitated static to charge between Gintoki and Hijikata before adding hastily, "Ground that isn't fighting!"

He stood up and Hijikata panicked. "Where are you going? You're not staying?"

"Otae-san was spotted coming this direction, by my calculations, it's need to find her o'clock.  _But_ , before I go, you two have some rules. One, no hitting. That means no punching, biting, kicking, no hurting each other of any kind. Second, no leaving the room until you've reached an agreement. And three, if you two get into another fight at any point, all the mayonnaise and sweets will be eradicated from this premise."

"You can't be serious!" Gintoki screeched, wings fluffing up.

Hijikata's wings jerked, shoving his body forward and back. "Kondo-san! I-I, but, Kondo-san, the  _mayonnaise!_ "

"I'm not finished!" Kondo said firmly, garnering their full attention. "You'll also be denied your access to Jump and cigarettes. Those are my terms and conditions! If you don't like it, then I hope you can do without your vices."

With that, he left them, just whisked through the door and closed it behind him with a dooming click. Silence reigned supreme in the stunned aftermath, but that was quickly broken by the sound of rustling feathers as Hijikata's wings took on a mind of their own and started to shake.

"My sweets," Gintoki whined.

"What will I ever do without mayo?"

"Without Jump, what am I?"

"I'll hate everything if I don't have cigarettes."

"You already hate everything."

"Not cigarettes and especially not mayo."

"Okay!" Gintoki yelled, Hijikata flinching as the bastard flapped his wings and threw a gust of air his way. Next thing he knew, Gintoki was facing him, brows drawn down in determination. "No way am I losin' my sweets and Jump for you, so, common ground, let's go!"

Hijikata tried to do what Gintoki did, the whole flapping of the wings and smoothly turning himself, but it didn't work out so well. He flopped sideways and jabbed a wing against the floor in an attempt to right himself, but that only made him half-roll in the wrong direction.

"It's okay, I'll wait," Gintoki voiced and Hijikata's face heated up, he could  _hear_ the smugness steeped in the bastard's tone.

"Shuddap," snarled Hijikata, crawling on his belly and kicking his legs until he was facing the right direction. Maneuvering himself, he lifted up on his arms and swung his legs beneath him and voila! He was seated facing Gintoki. Ignoring the flush in his cheeks, he lowered his head and glared at the stupid natural perm, pretending that the whole flailing thing hadn't just happened. "First of all, you're gonna fucking tell me when you're about to sneeze so I can throw your ass outside!"

"I didn't do it on purpose! I didn't even know that would happen!"

"T'ch! That's no excuse!"

"It's not an excuse, it's a point of fact! How could I have known I'd have a feathery explosion when I sneezed?"

"You just shoulda," Hijikata bites back tartly.

"Well, I didn't, but now I do. And while we're on it, I don't want you burnin' my feathers anymore!"

Hijikata's eyes narrowed, but he was quick to nod. "Fine."

"It smelled," Gintoki's nose scrunched up, "wrong. Your room reeks now."

There was no point countering that, Hijikata's room  _did_ smell bad, burning feathers had been a terrible idea. Whatever those feathers were made out of – besides idiocy since they were Gintoki's – made a really rank, odoriferous smell that clung to everything. Hijikata's hands still reeked of it and the lingering scent made his stomach hurt – ache, really. He didn't feel bad for doing it, of course he didn't, but he regretted the decisions if only for the resultant stench.

And Hijikata would never again not appreciate being able to sit properly. Sitting with wings was difficult and uncomfortable and it was near impossible to find a good spot. Even Gintoki was having a hard time with it despite all his  _glorious_  wing control, t'ch, asshole. Hijikata could see it in the way Gintoki would shift every so often, moving to the left and then the right, wings compacting closer to his body or spreading out wider. The wings were just too long, they went too far down, they ran into the floor and Hijikata couldn't lift his the way Gintoki could, so he was doubly uncomfortable.

"Okay, no feather burning, that's decided. But you can't be running around my room like you were! I need those papers and now my desk is stained and some of those things were confidential!"

"I got cramped! It's been over a week of the same thing every day, I needed to move!"

"You do plenty of moving! Probably more than you do in your apartment even! You go and see Sougo and wander around the halls and I've lost count of how many times you've dropped everything and gone to the mess hall!"

Gintoki squinted at him. "Why were you counting to begin with?"

"No, I wasn't, don't change the subject!"

"Walking around in the tiny section of this place that I'm actually allowed in is  _not_ the same as going out for drinks or," he raised a sanctimonious hand, "the Pachinko Parlor! You have to know what it feels like! Don't you want to be out doing your patrols or whatever the hell it is you do?"

"Of course! But I'm not going to throw a tantrum and run around my room!"

"Can you even run?"

Hijikata wanted to hit him, so much so his hand was raised and ready to strike. It took all of his willpower to run numbers in his head and take a deep breath, calming himself enough to lower his hand into his lap. Gintoki's own arms were raised to potentially block whatever Hijikata threw at him, but his arms lowered as well, though slowly and with more caution.

"No, I don't think I can run," Hijikata seethed through gritted teeth and even that small admittance cost him and took a chunk out of his pride.

"Mm... then let's have a little compensation here."

"Like what?"

"Here, how 'bout I give you wing lessons and you let me stretch my wing out at night. I can't be cramped anymore, s'annoying."

" _Wing lessons_ ," Hijikata sputtered, shoulders drawing up and wings twitching. "You can't be fucking serious!"

"What's there to be not serious about? Don't you want to be able to get up and go wherever you want? I don't mind watching you struggle and flop around, but if it means I'll be able to stretch out at night, I can suffer through dealing with you."

"I d-don't kno-ow if..."

"If you don't want to that's fine, I don't care! It's just the first thing that came to mind!"

Hijikata's teeth were grinding down and it was fucking  _annoying_ that his wings weren't staying still like he wanted them to. They kept jerking and going up and down and even though they weren't spreading out all the way, the uncoordinated way they moved completely not in sync made him rock and have to brace a hand against the floor when he was thrown to one side. He couldn't keep going like this, with wings that didn't listen to him and he needed to walk! He was so sick of crawling around and using walls for support and making a fool of himself. Sougo was already relentless in making fun of him and wouldn't it be nice to surprise him by chasing after him when he least expected it?

Sighing, Hijikata righted himself and though he resented the very notion, he was going to have to suck it up. He could do this! He'd had to do all sorts of things for the Shinsengumi, even had to bark like a dog once, he could put up with Gintoki. It'd test his sanity and every level of patience he possessed, but he'd manage. For the sake of being able to potentially walk, he'd sacrifice his dwindling pride and endure.

Fingers curling into fists on his knees, he tried to get himself to relax and glared at Gintoki. "Just h-helping isn't enough, asshole. I need to see actual results before I'll let your fucking w-wing anywhere near me. Could smother me in my sleep or some shit."

Why the stutter?  _Why_?

Gintoki's face dropped into a moue. "But what if you can't be helped, hah?"

"Then that's your problem, isn't it?"

"It'd be both our problem, jackass! Fuck!"

"Take it or leave it."

"I'll... ah, shit, I'll take it. Any chance is better than no chance at all," Gintoki grumbled and started to stand. "C'mon, lessons begin now, Gin-san's school of wing control is now in session."

" _Now_?"

"Did I stutter? I didn't stutter. Get up."

Face heating, Hijikata glared harder and scrambled to his feet. He had to lean forward and prop himself up on both arms, then shift his legs up beneath him before he could get up. It helped balance out his wings that way and if he didn't do it slow and careful, he'd fall. Trial and error, he'd been through this too many times in the last week. Once he was up, he squared his shoulders as best he could and faced Gintoki, brow set and determined.

Gintoki... only looked like he was about to laugh and it was a good thing he didn't because Hijikata's hands were in fists and rearing to go. And then came the awkward part where they just stared at each other, not knowing how to start or what to say. Feathers brushed together when Hijikata's wings pulled in tighter like a defensive stance, until his left one shot out for no explicable reason and Gintoki's mouth wobbled.

"Don't you dare laugh. At no point during this are you allowed to laugh."

Gintoki pursed his lips. "I can't hit you, I can't laugh, have I mentioned how much I don't like being here?"

"Yes, you have, and I still don't care. Now, commence! Do something!"

"Bossy, bossy," was mumbled back as Gintoki started moving closer. He was moving slow and tentative, like he was expecting one of Hijikata's fists to come flying out at him at any second. Good, he wanted to keep the bastard on his toes. "Do you have  _any_  control over these things?" Gintoki asked, touching the right one and Hijikata immediately pulled it away.

"A little."

"How much is a little?"

"How the fuck should I know? Is there a wing control gauge I don't know about? A little means a little, that's it, dumbass."

Gintoki held up both hands with his palms out. "Alright, alright, yeesh. I've never worked with wings before either, you know. Cut me some slack."

"No, why should I?"

"'Cause this is new to me too, now hold your goddamn wing still!"

"Only if you promise not to yank any feathers out!"

"What the hell could I possibly want with any of your stupid feathers?"

Hijikata threw his arms up. "I don't know! You do dumb, random shit all the time, you'd probably yank on my feathers just for kicks! Fuckin' sadist!"

"Okay... well, I won't," Gintoki said, his voice suddenly normal pitched and even.

"You won't," Hijikata echoed, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Gintoki shook his head. "No. No, no. You haven't tried? It fucking hurts!"

"Why would you pull out your own feathers?"

"I didn't mean to, okay?" Gintoki snapped defensively. "I was just brushing out the loose ones, you know? And then, I don't know, one I thought was loose wasn't loose and I tugged on it and –"

"Wait, wait, wait, hold up! Is this why you screamed the other day?" Gintoki's bottom lip popped out and even though he didn't nod, the answer was written all over his face. "Idiot! The entire yard thought someone had died and the place was haunted!"

"This place  _is_ haunted! Have you not heard those weird noises at night?"

Hijikata scowled. "What weird noises? Are you sure they're not just voices you're hearing in your head?"

"Of course I'm sure, asshole! You know those whooshing and rattling noises..." Hijikata tilted his head dubiously. "I am  _not_ crazy!"

"It just sounds like you're talking about the wind."

Gintoki crossed his arms and his wings ruffled up. "I know what the stupid wind sounds like and it doesn't make noises like that."

"Right... okay. Can we just, ahh, get back on track here?" Gintoki, the dumbass, blinked stupidly until Hijikata pointed back at his wings. "The walking thing, genius."

"Oh." A blank look. "Yeah. Here, take a step toward me. Go ahead, I'll catch you if you fall, Oogushi-kun!"

"That is not my name and don't touch me," Hijikata stated, glad that a stutter didn't work its way into his speech. "Tell me what you do with your wings when you walk and stuff."

"Ah, you just... you move."

Hijikata's face flattened. "That's it? Really?"

"It's hard to explain to someone else what I do with my wings! You shift them? They're an added weight, so like, ah! Like sword fighting! When you hold a sword you have to compensate its weight, adjust to it to minimize error. Except there's two and they're coming out of your back."

"You are one of, if not the most, unhelpful creature to ever exist."

"At least I'm  _trying_ ," Gintoki spat back and Hijikata recoiled, the bastard had a point.

"Okay." Hijikata ran a hand through his hair and scratched his scalp. "Okay, so try to keep them close to my body or...?"

Gintoki thought about it, then nodded, becoming almost congenial. "Close to your body, yeah, but you've gotta do that compensating thing. You turn left, your right wing has to go out some to keep your balance. Make sense?" Hijikata hummed and took a step forward, immediately wobbling the second his foot left the floor. "Move your right one in closer. No, other way, like – no. Can I touch to show you?"

"Hn, I suppose."

Gintoki got closer and reached out, but Hijikata's wing struck, smacking him in the face. "Ouch-ch-ch! You did that on purpose!"

"Might've. Hard to tell, isn't it?"

"Does that count as hitting me?"

"No."

"Because?"

"It just doesn't."

"That's not even a reason! Then I should be able to smack you with my wings, but it's okay  _because_."

"Shu –"

"Shuddap, yeah, yeah," Gintoki interrupted and stepped closer, touching Hijikata's wing and moving it just so. "Something more like this. And when you turn it's more," he moved the wing out a couple inches, "like this. The wings aren't heavy, but they  _are_ a weight."

"But mine aren't a constant weight!" Hijikata blurted.

"They're not?"

"N-no," Hijikata muttered, staring because Gintoki was staring right back at him with a raised brow, hand still on his wing. It felt  _weird_  to have someone else touching the feathers, he'd thought so when Sougo and Kondo had taken their turns and he definitely thought the same now. "The weight changes all the damn time. I'm not stupid! I'm sure I could figure it out otherwise."

"Huh. Mine don't do that. I don't..." he trailed off and blinked, then his brows drew down. "Somehow I'm going to make this work! I need to stretch out at night, so prepare yourself, asshole, we're gonna get you walkin'!"

Hijikata couldn't speak right away, but he didn't need to because Gintoki was already moving, turning around to show off his wings. He shifted them up and down and opened them, telling Hijikata as best he could what it felt like and how he did it. They didn't get along part of the time and Hijikata had had to punch the wall once because of a snarky comment Gintoki had made, but for actual hitting, there had been none. They worked for the better part of forty-five minutes before tension got too high and they had to stop and while Hijikata was no better at walking, he felt slightly better about it. He was seated by his desk, burnt out after falling for who knew how many times onto his ass.

"Tell me we can leave this room now," Gintoki whined, thumping his forehead into the wall. He'd been doing that for the past minute or so, his wings braced against the wall above his head. "I've been good, for the sake of sweets and Jump I've been good and want to leave."

"I think so. Go do something, I need time away from you and – fuck!"

Gintoki spun around. "Shit, what?"

"F-fuck, fuck! I think – sneeze! I think I'm gonna!"

In a flurry of feathers, Gintoki hit the deck and put his hands over his head to protect himself, his wings rising and curving like a blockade. Hijikata's nose itched and tickled, his face started to pinch, he could feel it coming in the tingle at the top of his nose. When it hit, there were no feathers, not a one. Hijikata sneezed and his wings spasmodically twitched so violently that it sent him face first into his desk with a loud  _smack_. And somewhere around the ringing in his ears, he could hear Gintoki cracking up, his laughter loud and unrestrained.

"Not funny," Hijikata snapped, holding his face because  _goddamn fucking ouch_ , that hurt like a son of a bitch.

Gintoki couldn't even reply he was laughing so hard, a mere ball on the ground clutching his stomach. Once again, Hijikata's wings proved to be his downfall, they were such a nuisance. How did that even work? Where Gintoki got an ungodly amount of feathers, Hijikata received... face plants? Everything about that was wrong, if anything, Gintoki should be the one having his face smashed into things.

"Hate you," Hijikata yelled, face inflamed as he crawled his way toward the door. "I don't care what you do or where you go just stay the h-hell away from me, goddamn it!"

All he got in answer was laughter and Hijikata was so done. At the door, he stood up and left, using the walls to brace himself and keep him upright.

 

-o-O-o-

Two hours later and Hijikata's pride was still torn to shreds and barely on the mend. But he needed to get back because there was still work to do in there and it was starting to get late in the afternoon. He'd holed himself up in a conference room and worked from there for awhile and it was nice in the quiet, left to be with his own thoughts. He could only imagine the ridicule he'd receive and unfortunately, that was all that was on his mind as he followed along the wall, pausing whenever he heard voice. He didn't pass anyone, good thing, too, but feeling so pathetic as opposed to his usual Vice-Commander status, it was dragging him down little by little.

Hijikata got back to his room and stopped short just past the threshold, pulled forcefully from his depressing thoughts. The door was already open and there were two lumps in front of Gintoki's futon and a whole big pile of pillows he'd never seen before. And there were two too many bodies. Oh, no, this wasn't good.

"Why the hell does it look like a campground in here?"

"Kids are staying the night," Gintoki replied, his two minions on either side of where he was laying on his belly.

"Uh... no. No, they are not."

"Yes, they are. We don't have a roommate agreement."

"Of course we don't! This isn't the Big Bang Theory and you're not my roommate! You're just an ingrate staying in  _my_ room because there's nowhere else for you to go! That, and no one else wants you!"

"Mayora demon!" China yelled, slamming her body into Hijikata's and sending him sprawling onto the floor. "Don't talk to Gin-chan like that!"

Hijikata's wings flailed as he tried to sit upright, the added limbs knocking against the floor with hollow thuds. China cackled and dove into her lump for a bed, of the three, only Four Eyes looked slightly sympathetic, but his form of sympathy was only a glance in Hijikata's direction. China had already settled back down next to Gintoki... which meant she'd be between him and Hijikata... no, this wasn't going to fly – no pun intended.

"This i-isn't –  _no!_  They can't stay in here, you d-didn't even ask!"

"You weren't here, so I made the decision myself."

"A-and I'm saying no!"

"It's just one night, you'll live."

Hijikata was seeing red. "Get your fucking kids out of my goddamn room, asshole!"

"What did you just say?" Gintoki asked and his wings, whether he knew it or not, were slowly raising and curling around the kids.

Hijikata pulled his knees to his chest and shoved his face in them, so furious he couldn't think straight. Would it have been so hard to ask? Then maybe they could have worked something out, but, of course, Gintoki was doing whatever the fuck he wanted. They were already there, in their pajamas even, so Hijikata couldn't really throw them out. Well, he _could_ , but Kondo would probably disapprove and Hijikata was sure his mayonnaise and cigarettes were still on the line. So, he had no other choice but to relent. Not that any of them apparently needed to be given his okay because they were already talking and goofing off.

Pissed and dejected, Hijikata crawled over to his bed, face heating up when China started giggling ominously. He'd have to do something seriously manly to reinstate some of his pride because chunk after chunk had just been skewered out of it ever since these stupid wings had appeared. He didn't feel like changing, wanted to avoid that embarrassment, so he went over and flopped onto his futon.

Which brought him up short – he always put his futon away.

Lifting his head, his eyes met Gintoki's because the bastard was already looking over. Bringing out his futon was terrible compensation for not asking to have company over, but... they could talk about that later. Face scrunching, Hijikata flipped him off and shoved his face into his pillow, that being the best 'alright, fine, I'll put up with this' he could think of.

"You haven't been sleeping well," Four Eyes was commenting.

Gintoki snorted. "You can only relax so much when your wings are cramped, you're stuck in a hive of popo, and you've got the queen bee in the room next to you."

"Whine, whine, whine," Hijikata snapped without raising his head, "I have to put up with plenty of your shit, too. Do they  _know_  what happens when you sneeze?"

"I told them." Gintoki sniffed indignantly and Hijikata peeked an eye out to see his bottom lip pop out. "It's not  _that_ bad."

"Yes. Yes, it is."

"It can't be!" Kagura cried, stuffing her face in the area between Gintoki's wings. "Gin-chan has good feathers! The best!"

Gintoki stiffened and swatted at him, wings bending to smoosh her down and smother her. She flailed and worked herself away, rolling back over onto her little bedding. She was way too close to him, but there wasn't enough room for him to scoot over, basically, he was stuck. Just like he was stuck with unwanted company times three. In his agitation, his wings took on a mind of their own and jerked outward, one hitting the wall, the other a small body.

"Ack! Gin-chan! His wing hit me!"

"So hit him back."

And she did.

And Hijikata knew then that he wasn't going to get much of any sleep.

 

 

**To Be Continued**


	5. Chapter 4

 The night had been worse than he'd feared, so much worse. Even after China had fallen asleep, she'd kicked out at him and squirmed like a worm on a hook. His only consolation was that Gintoki didn't sleep well either and in the night, Hijikata got to see – because he actually paid a speck of attention – what Gintoki meant by cramped. His wings were big, bigger than Hijikata's, and having to keep the one on Hijikata's side folded up didn't even _look_ comfortable, so it must not have been.

Anyway, the night, it'd been awful. He'd managed to get a little sleep, but it wasn't nearly enough. And the thing was, in that short time he'd gotten to doze, one of the others had tied his ankles together. He honestly didn't know how it'd happened, especially when he was such a light sleeper! That was what made him think it'd been China, but he couldn't be sure. It had been so embarrassing waking up to numb feet and not being able to reach down all the way to get it untied.

Until then, he hadn't known how hard it was to stretch down toward his feet. He couldn't stand with his legs trussed up and trying to bend when he had wings flopping against the floor was nothing if not ridiculous. None of them had helped him, had barely suppressed their stupid laughs, and the last thing Hijikata had wanted was anyone from his faction to see him like that. But after a lot of flailing and blushing and grumbling under his breath, he'd managed to get the stupid thing off. It'd just been bad luck that Sougo had smuggled himself in to enjoy the show without Hijikata noticing.

That had been earlier in the morning though, since then Gintoki's hellions had left and Hijikata had managed to wobble around the room enough to get the place cleaned up. Gintoki had, of course, been of no use during that and had mostly watched when he wasn't trying to keep his scant belongings safe from Hijikata. Not that that was hard since Hijikata couldn't keep his balance enough to put up even half a good fight.

It wasn't until Yamazaki had brought in the first batch of paperwork that Hijikata got himself to settle down. He and Gintoki hadn't spoken a single word the whole time, only exchanged glares whenever their eyes happened to meet, and that was just fine by Hijikata. He could go the whole rest of his life without uttering a single word to the bastard and be happy about it. But, naturally, Hijikata got barely any time at all to get started on it before he was rudely interrupted.

“Is now a bad time to bring up the whole teaching you how to walk thing?” Gintoki asked and – stupid, he looked stupid, there was pudding on his lip.

Hijikata, the picture of disgust, replied, “No, never again.”

“Never again bring it up or never again help you?”

“Both.”

“Oh.”

“And your brats are never sleeping over ever again. End of discussion.”

“What about that common ground thing? You've got mayo on the line here and you're not worth losing my right to sweets.”

Hijikata stared pointedly down at his paperwork that he was trying to work on and not doing all that great a job when Gintoki was speaking at him. All the anger that had been accumulating throughout the day was becoming paramount, it had begun roaring in his ears, he was beginning to see red. He'd been _embarrassed_ , made fun of, he still couldn't walk, the most he could do for his faction was paperwork, and he was stuck with someone that did little more than taunt him at every opportunity, he didn't want to even _consider_ common ground at the moment.

“Shut the fuck up,” Hijikata growled through gritted teeth, “and let me work.”

And Gintoki was silent... for all of five second – Hijikata had counted.

“How would Gorilla know if we got into a fight?”

“He'd probably be able to hear it.”

“Does that mean you're loud in bed.”

Hijikata threw his ashtray at warp speed and it only _barely_ missed, skimming the little tufts at the top of Gintoki's head. “T-thought I said shut up!”

Gintoki looked back over his shoulder at the ashtray. “You broke it.”

“Imma break a lot more than that if you don't shut up!”

With a twitch of his wings, Gintoki was standing and it looked like it didn't take any effort at all. Again, unfair. Why should the guy that spends most of his time horizontal be the one with the ability to come and go as he pleased? Hijikata was convinced the universe was shitting on him with this whole thing.

It was better Gintoki left him alone... but at the same time, who knew what the hell kind of trouble Gintoki could cause. The man was a glutton for disaster and knew how to wreak havoc, having him loose in the barracks....

“Oi! Where're you goin'?”

“A 'a'k.”

“Take the goddamn spoon out of your mouth!”

“I said, a walk!”

“No! Sit your ass back down!”

Gintoki stopped in front of the door and his wings twitched. “No.”

And then he was breezing out into the hall and sliding the door shut with a _snap_ behind him. Hijikata could only sit there with his mouth hanging open and the terrible part was that, on reflex, he tried to leap up to chase after him. He tripped over his desk and went sprawling onto his face, his wings managing to knock his ink bottle onto the floor and scatter all of his papers. Cussing up a storm, Hijikata flopped over to right the ink bottle first, then slowly set about fixing all the papers. Most of them had gone undamaged, a couple needed to be flattened again because they were too wrinkly, his words wouldn't be legible, and he was going to fucking _kill_ Gintoki.

Three days went by like that, it almost became a routine. Gintoki started spending more time out of the room than he did in it and normally Hijikata would be thrilled by that, but not like this. Now he worried more and more each time Gintoki left, always wondering what the moron was up to and what he was getting into. The kids stopped by each day, but Hijikata hadn't seen them and that, too, worried him.

By the end of day three, Hijikata was curled up on the floor, one wing flat against the boards and the other was _supposed_ to be pulled in close to his body, but of course it wasn't doing that. It was alternating between jerking upward, curving down, snapping open. It was fucking annoying and reminded Hijikata again and again how useless he was. His faction was preparing for a raid and Hijikata was in a foul mood. Gintoki had figured out pretty quick to keep his distance even more than usual, though he'd only picked up on that when Hijikata had started the morning by snapping at him over breathing too loud. It wasn't the usual snapping, it was furious contemptuous anger fueled by resentment and endless frustration. And Gintoki, the bastard, had just walked out again.

 _Walked_.

Because Gintoki could do that, strut around and go to and fro where he damn well pleased while Hijikata was reduced to ball on the floor – he couldn't get over how goddamn unfair it was. He was the Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi and he had Bambi legs! And what really rubbed salt in the wound was that Gintoki was helping! The _idiot_ was actually doing something productive by moving heavy equipment and carrying supplies out to the awaiting cars, or so he'd heard when Yamazaki had brought in some reports. No doubt Hijikata would get all the paperwork when the raid was over, so at least he had that....

That was so morose though! To clutch at paperwork as if it were a lifeline! He was more than a paper junky that chain smoked and flopped around on the floor!

But he didn't feel like anything more than that. He'd even considered peeing in bottles so that he wouldn't have to make the long trek to the bathroom, thus avoiding the indecency of hobbling around. Sougo still teased him endlessly about it and though Kondo was kind, there was a look in his eyes so close to pity it made Hijikata's stomach feel as if it were full of cement. It only got worse when he glanced at the clock and realized it was time for him to go to the shower and get his daily bathroom time in. He loved showers and he knew there was something wrong with his life when he was no longer looking forward to them.

Hefting himself up onto his knees, he braced a hand against the ground and stood slowly. Moving slow was key, he'd learned that very quickly through a brief trial and error. So, it was with the utmost care that Hijikata grabbed what he needed and headed out for the bathroom. He didn't meet anyone on his way, lucky him, and he clutched the wall the entire way with his belongings tucked safely under one arm.

When he got there, he went for his usual shower and was glad Gintoki wasn't there. They each had their own privacy since it was only them, but it was still a breath of fresh air to not have to think about the bastard. Not until Hijikata was rinsing the suds from his hair – leaning heavily against the wall so he didn't fall over – that Gintoki's loud clattering could be heard. Hijikata didn't pay it much mind, they always tried to ignore each other as best they could, and that would be so much easier if Gintoki wasn't the type to sing in the goddamn shower. His annoying, high pitched voice as he sang about what he was doing or, perhaps worse, the Doraemon theme.

Finishing quickly, Hijikata shut off the shower and dried himself with his towel, falling to a knee at one point during the process. He stood up again and let one of his wings press to the wall so it was jammed in the corner to keep him stable. Farther down, Gintoki's shower shut off and Hijikata didn't even want to know why he was making gargling noises. He did take a peek down the way though and narrowed his eyes at the one wing he saw jutting out of the stall. As if sensing him, Gintoki's head popped out and looked right at him and he'd never been more grateful that he had slipped his boxers on.

“That's not fair!” Gintoki warbled. “How come you can fit in the stupid stall?”

Hijikata growled and looked away. “Quiet.”

“Oo, do I bother you, Oogushi-kun?”

“Your very existence bothers me and don't call me that!”

He started collecting his stuff, dreading when he'd have to try and wrangle himself into his yukata. It always took him so long to manage it and if that didn't lower his already low esteem than nothing did. So, in lieu, he brushed his fingers through his hair, leaned against the bench to stretch his muscles, loose from the hot water, out. His wings did their disobedient twitching thing and when one of his shoulders cracked, he sighed in relief.

But after a solid five minutes, there was no putting it off any longer and he grit his teeth as he grabbed his yukata. The blue color looked so innocent, but Hijikata knew it to be sinister. It was perfectly comfortable once it was on, but until then it was the bane of his current existence. He put an arm through first, his left one, though he knew it didn't matter which one. He'd done this enough times to know that there was no good way to do it and it was going to take him awhile to shimmy it into place. It tested patience he didn't have, which amounted to one yukata being torn in half – he didn't want to discuss how awful the mostly naked walk back to his room had been.

“Oi.”

Hijikata about jumped out of his skin at the voice so close to him. “What the fuck!?”

Gintoki, fully dressed already, stood with both hands up. “Woah, I come in peace.”

“I don't believe you,” Hijikata replied, squinting his eyes with one arm still shoved in his yukata.

“Well, I don't know how to prove it to you except....” He held up a peace sign. “Convinced yet?”

“That... is so stupid. What'll it take for you to go away?”

“Here –” Gintoki reached out and Hijikata flinched away only to trip and fall sideways onto the bench. “Hold still, would ya?” Hijikata's face was _red_. “I'm not gonna hit ya.”

“T-then I don't know why you're n-near me, go away,” Hijikata seethed, righting himself so he was sitting.

“Quit being a baby and hold still. It's easier if you move your wing back and down, like this.” Hijikata had no choice but to hold still for Gintoki to move his wing and slip it into one side of the yukata and goddamn it felt weird to feel someone touching him. “See?”

Hijikata glared at Gintoki's curious expression. “Yeah... what's with the face?”

“It's soft. The feathers, I mean.”

“Were you expecting them to be razors or something?”

“Never know with you,” Gintoki retorted. “And that'd be pretty rad.”

“Don't say rad.”

“How 'bout hella?”

“Ughh, no. Where'd you even get that from?”

“It's all the rage right now.”

Hijikata rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his damp hair. “If you're gonna stand there, make yourself useful.”

“I'll take that as, thank you for your help, Gin-san, you're so kind! You deserve a nice big parf – _oof_.”

Hijikata had elbowed the idiot in the gut and didn't feel the least bit bad for it. “Either put on the other side or go the fuck away.”

“Asshole,” Gintoki muttered and when he went to grab Hijikata's other wing, it snapped back and hit him.

“I didn't do that on purpose!” Hijikata yelled because apparently it was very important for Gintoki to know that.

“It hit me right in the face!”

“You probably deserved it!”

“I'm only trying to help you here!”

“There's no reason for you to do that and I told you I didn't do it on purpose!”

Why they were both yelling, Hijikata didn't know, but their words were echoing off the walls.

Gintoki cleared his throat. “Right... well, I'm gonna try that again.”

He went slower, but Hijikata's wing still wasn't cooperating, neither of them were. But Gintoki was somehow able to angle Hijikata's wing just right to get it through the second slit. Overall, it took maybe a fraction of the time it did when Hijikata was doing it on his own.

“There,” Gintoki trumpeted, “job well done! Jack of all trades Yorozuya saves the day! C'mon, this deserves something sweet!”

Hijikata, nerve twitching in his forehead, watched Gintoki grab his things and leave, a bounce in his step. What an annoying guy. It took him a few minutes, but he tied off his yukata and wobbled to his feet to tentatively follow.  

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	6. Chapter 5

Hijikata was skeptical as he followed Gintoki back to the room, but he didn't get to think too much on it as he went because most of his concentration was going into walking. Rather, shuffling – he was shuffling. He had his right hand on the wall and he was leaning so heavily on it with each step that there was a _thump... thump... thump..._ as he inched along. This was what he always had to do to get from place to place and he hated it more and more each time. Degrading, it was so degrading and undignified for someone like himself, it made his teeth grind.

Getting back into his room, he put his stuff away and felt his face heat up in embarrassment. That was his usual state of being these days, embarrassed and _degraded_ and he knew Gintoki was watching from where he was on his futon. Hijikata ignored him and went to his own futon where he flopped down on his back and pulled the blanket over his legs. He'd figured out the first night that wings weren't good to lay on, but it was the only choice he had, which only added to how much the whole thing sucked.

They were still quiet after Hijikata reached up and turned off the floor lamp above his pillow and he wasn't all that inclined to talk. It'd been another long, frustrating day and the only good thing that had happened was that he hadn't had to spend a long time trying to get his yukata on. Good fortune was slim pickings, had he mentioned how much he hated it? He shifted to get more comfortable and Gintoki did the same, he never seemed to be in a good spot, either.

But the next time Hijikata wriggled, Gintoki spoke in a hurried, hushed voice, “Shh, do you hear that?”

Hijikata yawned and listened, hearing only a low whistling. “It's just the wind.”

“It is _not_ 'just the wind,' you bastard! This is how people die in horror movies!”

“This isn't a horror movie.”

“And how would you even know that?”

“I just _do_. Shut your trap and go to sleep already, you're givin' me a headache.” Gintoki was flapping his lips in the dark to mock him, so Hijikata swung a leg out and managed to kick him in the hip. “Idiot.”

“Ack-k-k – uncalled for!”

“You were makin' stupid faces, it was totally called for.”

“You're telling me to sleep when I'm cramped and uncomfortable!” Gintoki squawked and thumped both wings against the floor. Hijikata's nose curled and he was _just_ about to speak when Gintoki cut in, “I swear if you relate me to a woman I'll make sure you don't get a second of sleep tonight.”

“Ugh, you're already keeping me up with your bullshit, just be quiet already.”

“It's hard when I'm uncomfortable!”

“Learn to be uncomfortable silently!”

And by the amount of shifting they were both doing, Hijikata knew sleep would be a long way off.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata had woken up that morning to find Gintoki already awake, but still sprawled out on his stomach on the futon. His hair had been a mess and there were small bags under his eyes, evidence of a restless night. Hijikata had known he didn't look much better, so he hadn't said anything and just let Gintoki keep lounging like the useless idiot he was while Hijikata went to start getting work done. Gintoki had disappeared sometime later, Hijikata had been trying his damnedest not to pay attention, but it was hard to ignore the bastard when he burst into the room around noon in a rush of feathers and too much energy.

“Get up!”

“What? Why?”

“We're going out!”

Hijikata leaned back because Gintoki was leaning over him and pressing closer. “Out? As in...?”

“Outside! Away from here! It just came to me, I have an idea how to help you walk!”

“Not interested.”

Gintoki's wings flapped and stirred up some papers, but Hijikata got a hand on them just in time. “At least give it a try!”

“What exactly will I be giving a try?”

“Not telling! You've gotta come out with me first!”

“So, lemme get this straight,” Hijikata settled back and lit up a cigarette, “you want me to let you take me somewhere to do something you won't tell me until we get to wherever this place might be?”

Gintoki thought about his and nodded. “Yeah, about right. But when we get there, I won't tell you, I'll show you.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?” Gintoki asked innocently and he looked genuinely confused.

Hijikata exhaled a cloud of smoke in his direction and raised a brow. “Oh, yes, _why_ would I want to let you take me anywhere? Hmm, I wonder.”

“Okay, new idea! Idea before my other idea! If you don't humor me, you will get no work done, not even a little thanks to me.”

“And you realize that if I do go with you, I still won't get any work done,” Hijikata said slowly between puffs – seriously, was this guy an idiot or what?

Gintoki gave a super cheesy grin. “Right. But that's just today. If you don't go with me, you won't get any work done _ever_ as long as I'm stuck here.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Definitely.”

Snorting, Hijikata took another drag. “Fine. Just this once. But only because I might actually kill you if you get any more annoying.”

“Excellent!” Gintoki burst. “Up! We're leaving now!”

Hijikata didn't get a choice when his cigarette was taken from him and stubbed out. “What's the rush?”

“Losing daylight! Chop, chop, let's go!”

Hijikata let himself be harassed into leaving quickly even though it made him twice as clumsy when he was hassled. Gintoki was ruthless in his herding, getting Hijikata moving in the direction of the car and handing him a key that he didn't know how Gintoki had even gotten into his possession. It was excitement that made Gintoki move so fast and he looked a little weird because his yukata wasn't halfway on like it usually was. Instead, he'd tied the thing around his waist and he didn't have his bokken with him, he must have left it behind in Hijikata's room.

“I can't believe we're stealing from my own faction,” Hijikata said when they got outside and his eyes swept, looking for others and finding none.

“ _Borrowing._ ”

“Still feels wrong. We shouldn't do it.”

Gintoki spun and grabbed the front of Hijikata's yukata. “It _belongs_ to your faction! How is that stealing? If I have to stay trapped in that room a second longer, I'm going to lose it. Now, we're borrowing this fucking car and we're going to go out for awhile or I will make your life a living hell.”

“More so than you already have? I don't think that's possible!”

“Argh! Listen! I have an idea, at least lemme give it a shot!”

“An idea for _what?_ ”

“You'll see when we get there!”

“Where is that?”

“You are so annoying! Just do the thing, no one will know we're gone! I will literally pester you until you give in, so just give up already! You think I've been annoying so far? I can be so much worse, believe me!” Hijikata believed him, but he didn't say anything. “You can drive, right?”

“Duh! But it's not like I've ever tried with wings!”

Gintoki opened the door and shoved Hijikata through it, too bad that didn't work so well with his wings. One of them hit the door, the other the frame of the car, and Hijikata got stuck halfway in. It took some jostling and pushing and a lot of Gintoki grabbing at either wing to keep the things from twitching outward. Gintoki got hit more than once by them, several times, actually, and he grumbled about it, but didn't give up fitting Hijikata into the car. When it was Gintoki's turn, he almost had a harder time with it. He was trying to get himself into the backseat, but with only limited successs.

“How did you get me in the car the first time? I – I don't – what the heck, how do I fit?”

Hijikata peered back over his shoulder and the rise of his wing to find Gintoki a mass of feathers as he tried to wriggle himself inside. “Just fold them up and get in here!”

Gintoki flailed and the whole car rocked with how hard he was trying. It took him a bit, but he eventually managed to fit himself in and close the door behind him. He looked a lot bigger than the last time Hijikata had been in a car with him, he literally took up most of the back seat and his wings had to be kept tucked in close and the joint was resting against the roof. They were so large, his wings, that the ends were curved inward and somewhat domed around him.

But then Hijikata had another problem.

“What am I supposed to do with these useless wings, hah? I can't drive with them freaking out as they are!” As if waiting for its cue, the one that wasn't squished up next to the door flew in and knocked Hijikata in the face. “See what I mean! We'll crash!”

“Hold on, hold on, I got this!”

Gintoki scooted forward and took hold of the wing both above and below the crest. He held on tight and the wing stilled enough for Hijikata to risk turning on the car. The wing crammed in next to the door covered the window, but wasn't causing any problems so long as Hijikata kept leaning against it. Annoyed, Hijikata grudgingly turned the car on and set off. The cars were all kept out of sight, so he had to drive to the main road and take Gintoki's direction from there. A left here, a right there, a wait, wait, go back at the most inopportune time.

But Hijikata listened and went where he was told. He enjoyed the scenery and let out an exasperated huff because Gintoki was in the back singing some made up song to himself about the magic of tinted windows. What an idiot. They drove for a good twenty minutes or more before they were on the edge of Edo's limits in a more rural area. They'd crossed a bridge awhile back and had since been driving through plains of grass and were approaching a thicket of trees when Gintoki told him to go off road toward a large hill to the left. Hijikata did so and had to stop just after rounding the top because they were faced with a large, sparkling pond that kept them from going any farther. Gintoki got out of the car, so Hijikata put it in park and shut it off before clamoring to get out as well.

“This is it?” Hijikata asked as Gintoki shed his yukata. “This is your big idea?”

“Yup! What? Can you not swim?” Without waiting for an answer, Gintoki kicked off his boots next to his yukata and took a running start before he leapt in for a canon ball crying, “Cowabunga!” The following splash was huge and Gintoki came up with a face splitting smile. “Come on in, water's great!”

Hijikata hobbled to the edge of the water. “No, really, _this_ is it?”

Gintoki stopped playing and looked wholly annoyed that he had to. “Think about it for a second before you dismiss it, asshole. There's no one out here but me, so you don't have to worry about embarrassing yourself when I already know you're a total loser. And the water will help keep you afloat, you know? You can walk around where it's waist deep and get used to whatever the hell it is your wings do and if you fall, so what? You're in water, other than dunking yourself, what's the worst that could happen? Besides, we're already here, enjoy it while you can!”

Hijikata hummed and Gintoki went back to playing, they were at least getting better at ignoring each other. Carefully toeing off his shoes, Hijikata stood on the bank and felt the cool mud beneath his feet. It actually felt good, it'd been a long time since he'd had an opportunity like this and that lifted his spirits a little. It brought back memories from long ago, ones he hadn't thought about in years because they were so bittersweet. Maybe that was what helped him then, but he relaxed a little and made sure there was nothing in his pockets that would get ruined if he got wet.

Once sure, Hijikata walked into the water carefully, trying not to make a fool of himself and fall. He was aware Gintoki was only paying partial attention to him, but even that was enough to bother Hijikata. He kept his arms halfway out to help keep his balance and he felt carefully with each foot before actually stepping. His wings weren't moving so much, he might have even said they were behaving, but there was no way he trusted them. The water got to be halfway up to his knees when it happened, his foot sank too deep in the mud and he fell face first into the water with a _smack_.

He came up sputtering and coughing, unable to get any footing because of the mud and his shifting weight. He probably wouldn't have managed had Gintoki no grabbed both his biceps and hauled him up to let him get his bearings.

“Let go, asshole!” Hijikata snapped and drove his elbow into the bastard's gut.

“ _Oof- fuck!_ Bastard, quit being such a bitch!”

Hijikata wriggled as Gintoki walked them deeper into the water and it wasn't until it was at their waists that Gintoki let go.

And Hijikata... stood.

His wings were still twitching, but he wasn't falling over. He was able to stay up and it felt _good_. He spread his arms out and touched the surface of the water with his fingertips and after a moment, his wings spread out, too. He raised his arms above his head as high as he could and stretched out his muscles. His back arched and he tipped his head back and it was without a doubt the best stretch of his life. It felt so good, he could even flex his legs and behind him, his wings shuddered outward. He swayed, but he didn't fall over and that truly was some kind of blessing.

Behind him, Gintoki was being an idiot. He was submerged in the water all the way down so that his mouth was underwater and he was blowing bubbles while his wings bobbed slightly. He flapped his wings in the water and sent droplets showering everywhere, he looked like a child. He dunked down beneath the surface and came up wings first, bursting through in an aquatic explosion. He was laughing as he tossed his head to get his hair out of his face. His wings spread out wide and curved at the ends, the feather bright and flashing in the sunlight. Hijikata was still enthralled just to be standing and walking. It was like the water absorbed the backlash of his shifting weight and kept him on his feet – he'd forgotten how good something so simple felt.

He spent his time experimenting by trying to move one wing out, then back in, and did the same with his other one. It allowed him to get used to them in a way he hadn't been able to before, though, it didn't make him anymore confident. The way his wings moved, it was no wonder he was falling over all the goddamn time. If he moved right, one wing went with him with too much force and the other wing went away from him. _Why_ they did that was the real mystery and if Hijikata could puzzle that out, then he'd at least have a chance at being normal!

“T'ch! Normal?” Hijikata growled to himself because who the hell could be normal with wings?

“Oi! Oi, look! It's like a waterfall!”

Hijikata looked over and Gintoki raised both his wings up out of the water. They were domed around his head and the water cascaded off them to make a waterfall in the center where the wing tips were pointing toward each other. Gintoki was laughing or making some kind of huffing sound, whatever it was, it was happy, and Hijikata was unimpressed enough for his brow to be ticking.

“Are you done?”

Gintoki did it again, chirping, “No!”

Rolling his eyes so hard he saw the back of his head, Hijikata went back to walking around. He stayed in the relative shallows, keeping the water at his waist, and went back and forth from one side of the pond to the other. He wanted to actually swim, but he had a suspicion that if he tried, his wings would find a way to drown him and if Gintoki somehow saved him from that, he'd never hear the end of it. It was bad enough Gintoki had had to grab him earlier – no worries, just another bash to Hijikata's rigid pride. But Hijikata did notice that Gintoki didn't venture into the deep part, either, the farthest he went was up to the base of his sternum.

Hijikata kept going until he was tired and so pruned that his skin looked alien. Gintoki had gotten out maybe a half hour before and was sunning himself up in the grass. As far as walking went, Hijikata felt like he had a better grasp on it. He didn't trip very often when walking in the water and being unable to see the bottom helped because it forced him to take each step with care. Gintoki was sprawled out on his back in the grass, his wings open to their fullest length on either side of him. He looked comfortable in the dirt, more relaxed than he had at any point back at the barracks. It didn't look like his clothes were wet anymore and his eyes were closed, but Hijikata was fairly certain he wasn't sleeping.

“You looked like a floundering duckling earlier,” Gintoki said when Hijikata got closer.

“I hate you.”

“I didn't exactly dislike watching it.”

“You're the worst.”

Hijikata reached the slope of the bank and carefully started to make his way out of the water. He might have been a fool, but he'd gotten his hopes up. After a couple hours of working hard and practicing to get the hang of walking, he was feeling pretty good! So, it was a surprise to him when he took his first step out of the water, slipped in the mud, and fell to his hands and knees. His left wing flopped down and there was mud everywhere, spotted all over his clothes and skin. Right away, Hijikata was bitter and he went right to his default, which was anger.

“Get up!” he snapped at Gintoki as he wobbled to his feet. “We're leaving.”

Ever the combative pain in the ass, Gintoki replied, “No.”

“Yes!”

“You dick, I've been waiting for this! I can stretch out here and take up as much space as I want!” Gintoki hunched his shoulders and his wings spread out, opening and towering. He shook them and sent a very thin mist of droplets off the feathers that glistened white and silver. Hijikata knew he wouldn't be able to do that, so he didn't try. “It feels so good, you might not even be able to get me back in the car!”

“I'm fine with that, stay here for all I care. I'd be better off!”

“Aw, don't be like that! Oh! But hey, hey, oi! I helped you, didn't I? Doesn't that mean I'll get to stretch out at night?”

“You really think having me flail around in water deserves a reward?”

Gintoki stuck his bottom lip out. “Yes. It helped, right?”

Hijikata had to really work to keep himself from falling over again. “Not really, moron! Look at me! What good is being able to walk in water if I still can't on land where it's most important?”

“But you can get used to it! I wasn't expecting a quick fix in a day, but it's a start!”

“Get used to being supported by water? That doesn't do anything for me! Not unless I walk around in a mobile pool!”

“Splash free!”

“Shut up, stay out of other shows for a second!”

“Okay, but a mobile pool, we can build it for you! We have the technology!”

“What the fuck? No! You're not listening!”

“I'm listening, but I don't get why you're being such a little bitch about it! It's a good idea!” Gintoki paused a moment and clarified, “Practicing in the pond, not the pool thing. I admit that that idea is a shitty one.”

“And just because you think the pond is a good idea means it's going to work? Get your head outta your ass, not everything works that way!” Hijikata furiously made his way toward the car, wishing he could storm around like he used to, he was so much more effective that way.

“I never said it did! I think you're giving up too quick!”

“I don't give a shit what you think! You've been nothing but annoying since day one! I don't even know why you have to stay at the barracks when everything would be so much better if you weren't around!”

Gintoki's wings had pinched inward and risen, but his face was a mask of bemusement. “At least I can walk.”

Hijikata threw his arms up. “Congratulations! Way to point out something I'm already _painfully_ aware of, dickhead!”

“Fine, so we're done here. Let's head back and tell the Gorilla of our wasted trip. Maybe now there will be an extra room for me to take and we won't even have to see each other anymore. You can just forget I'm there! Or better yet, maybe I'll be allowed to go back to my apartment and we'll really be able to avoid each other!”

“Good! Sounds perfect!”

Gintoki made a frustrated sound and his wings snapped out – they looked fluffier than they had earlier, maybe because they were still drying. Hijikata own were pretty sodden still and had the mud been mentioned? Because while they were both muddy, Hijikata was a mess of mud, it had even splashed up onto his face and when he wiped at it with the sleeve of his yukata, he knew he'd only spread it.

He grappled at the door when he reached it and all but shoved his sopping wet mass inside. He didn't care that he was getting the seat wet or that there were now smears of mud everywhere, he just wanted to leave. The water hadn't worked, it'd only wasted time that could have been spent getting real work done. He'd probably never walk again! Not until Kondo and the other figured out where the wings came from and, more importantly, how to get rid of the fucking ridiculous things!

Gintoki got in the back, but he had a harder time fitting himself than he had before, not that Hijikata gave a fuck. He had the car on and in reverse even before Gintoki had gotten the door shut. The ride back was stifling and stilted with lingering negativity toward one another and the only thing Gintoki did was hold Hijikata free wing so it didn't get into his way. They wouldn't even look at each other and Hijikata could sense Gintoki's own frustration – and he also noticed belatedly that somewhere in there Gintoki had grabbed his yukata and boots, they were on the seat next to him.

By the time they got back to the barracks, Hijikata's anger had simmered. He was still frustrated and embarrassed, but not so hotheaded at the moment. He parked and they got out of the car in silence and Hijikata was determined not to say anything about Gintoki walking around barefoot. Actually, Hijikata didn't really know what to even say as they walked inside or if he wanted to say anything at all. He wasn't the most sociable person, he rather preferred to not interact with anyone except his tiny flock of those closest to him. With Gintoki, he could yell at him, tease him, make fun of him, but he couldn't _talk_ to him.

In case anyone had forgotten, this was the _Shiroyasha_....

No sooner had Hijikata struggled into the first hall, Kondo popped his grinning face out of one of the conference rooms. “Welcome back, boys!”

Hijikata leaned heavily against the wall, his wings and clothes still dripping water. “Sorry, Kondo-san, we –”

“Sorry?” He ushered the two of them into the room – allowing Hijikata the extra time to bolster the means to do so. “I think it's great!”

Hijikata shared a quick befuddled glance with Gintoki before he muttered, “You do?”

“Yes, yes, yes!” Kondo replied with gusto. “You did something together and look! Neither of you came back with bruises, I'm so proud!”

“Kon –”

“I have something for you both!”

From behind himself beneath the table used for meetings, Kondo pulled out a basket full of things that could only be termed Gintoki and Hijikata things. There was cigarettes, sweets, mayonnaise, Jump, all the things that were iconic to their characters.

“Thank you, Gorilla!” Gintoki burst and took the basket in his only free hand, his other one was holding his belongings. “Satisfaction!”

Gintoki headed to the other side of the room where there was another door, a shortcut to the hall where Hijikata's room was. He was dry enough that he wasn't dripping all over, but his wings still looked much too fluffy and his natural perm had a lot more volume than usual. Hijikata didn't move, what had been said at the pond was still playing through his head, but it seemed so different in hindsight.

“Sorry, Tosshi, was there something you wanted to tell me?”

Hijikata looked over Kondo's shoulder at Gintoki who raised a brow and the basket simultaneously. Though, Hijikata could tell the final decision was being left up to him and he didn't know how he really felt about that.

But, being ever the slave to his vices, Hijikata shook his head. “No, only that I'm sorry for taking the car.”

“Why sorry? Take it whenever you'd like, we don't need all of them on hand at all times, you know that!”

“Right....” He glanced up, but Gintoki had already gone. “Well, m'sure the paperwork piled up while I was gone, should probably go do it.”

Kondo smiled and looked him up and down. “Might want to shower, too.”

Hijikata hummed. “Yeah, good idea. Thank you for the basket.”

“Keep up the good work and there's plenty more where that came from!”

With a nod and wave, Hijikata began making his way toward his room. It was pretty shitty knowing that he would never be able to make cool, sweeping exits like he used to. Now it was all clumsy, slow, and jerky, totally lame for the demon Vice-Commander. His pride continued to take hit after hit and he was glad when he reached his room without seeing anyone. He honestly shuddered to think of what his faction thought of him these days.

He went to his room and could feel the mud drying on his skin, doing that cracking thing it did and he knew it would soon be chipping off. There was still a couple hours until their time in the bathroom, so he'd just have to wait it out and deal with being filthy until then. Gintoki had already divided up the goods and left Hijikata's stuff in the basket atop Paperwork-san. The bastard himself was nowhere to be found and that was okay by Hijikata, he needed a break after their escapades. Opening a bottle of mayo, he settled himself down to work and let everything else fade away to the quiet.

-o-O-o-

He didn't see Gintoki until their communal bathroom slot and even then, they didn't speak. Gintoki didn't help Hijikata with his yukata, they barely looked in each other's direction, and when Hijikata finally made it back to his room afterward – he will fervently deny that he slipped in a puddle and wiped out – he was actually surprised to find Gintoki in there. He was on his stomach with a Jump in front of him and his wings were pulled in to rest tight against his back, he looked like a feathered torpedo like that.

“Aren't you going to stretch?”

“Wait... what? You mean you'll let me?”

“I-I guess....”

“You're not going to rip my wing off if I do?”

“A deal's a deal, bastard,” Hijikata scorned. “I may not like you, but I keep my word.”

“Even if it didn't work?” Gintoki asked in a hushed voice.

At that, Hijikata felt the slightest kick of guilt in his gut. “Ah, well, a-about that, you see – listen, I'm frustrated. A-and _maybe_ , I didn't give the water enough of a try.”

Hijikata waited to be made fun of or have his somewhat overreaction shoved in his face, but instead, he got, “Okay. But I can really stretch my wing out?”

Slightly stunned, Hijikata nodded, realized Gintoki couldn't see it, so said aloud, “Yeah.”

With a faint rustle, Gintoki's wing tenaciously began extending, slowly doming over Hijikata's body. It was like a blanket, one that radiated heat, which was something Hijikata hadn't been expecting. He shifted a little, wriggling because this was really kind of weird and already he found it unsettling. He knew Gintoki's wings were large, but that one could stretch all the way over him like this from where Gintoki was laying, that put a little more perspective into it. Hijikata's own wings weren't small, but he didn't think his could do this and besides, he had to sleep on top of his to keep them from freaking out all night.

“We're getting up early.”

Hijikata felt Gintoki's body jerk. “Early?”

Gintoki's voice was groggy like he was already half asleep, it really made Hijikata wonder just how tired the natural perm was. Hijikata knew he hadn't been sleeping well, but he'd never thought about just how much being cramped affected him.

“Yeah, I wanna get out there and start early.”

“Mmm... 'kay,” the response was so quiet Hijikata almost missed it and he knew Gintoki was asleep then.

His breathing had evened out and a little more of the weight from his wing pressed down on Hijikata, but it wasn't a bad feeling. It was different, definitely, but it wouldn't stop him from getting some rest. All things considered, Hijikata wasn't feeling too bad at the moment, like a little bit of hope had been restored. It was a good feeling, perhaps even his first one since wings had sprouted out of his back, and he was going to hang onto it for as long as he could.

**To Be Continued**


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata continues his efforts to walk and do the most he can for the Shinsengumi, too bad he has a natural perm to deal with.

Hijikata woke up to feathers in his mouth and it sent him right into a bout of spluttering. He shoved Gintoki's wing off him and sat up, brushing some tiny little balls of fluff off his front. Gintoki made a noise and his wing folded halfway, but he didn't wake up. He was passed out with his arms splayed above his pillow and his blanket was in a knot around his legs. It wasn't the first time Hijikata had seen him so at ease, so he kicked him and reached over to hit him until he woke up.

It'd been a week since they'd started going to the pond and naturally, Hijikata kept them on a schedule. He was usually the first to wake and he did Gintoki the favor of being his alarm clock, otherwise he'd sleep until noon or later. That'd happened once, they'd had to forgo their outing because Hijikata had had a lot of paperwork to do, so he'd punched Gintoki to get him to move and wriggled his way out from under the bastard's wing. Gintoki hadn't gotten up though, he'd grumbled some things, then gone back to sleep and he'd just kept sleeping. His wing stretched out over Hijikata's empty bed and he made some noises every once in awhile, but other than that, he slept.

And slept.

Hijikata had gotten wrapped up with his work, but when he'd looked at the clock and realized it was one, he'd thrown things at Gintoki until he'd gotten his ass up. But then he'd disappeared for hours and Hijikata had braved stumbling his way out to make sure the car was still there. He didn't trust Gintoki to drive and even though Hijikata had the keys, he wouldn't put it passed the moron to try and hot wire the car to get away. He knew that if Gintoki had really done that, there would be a report of a crash at his desk, but he'd still wanted to double check.

Other than that one day, they went to the pond and it might have been Hijikata's imagination, but he was starting to think Gintoki was complaining less about getting up early. They'd sort of gotten into a decent routine, one that somewhat worked for them. They'd get up and start getting ready, Gintoki always finished first, so he'd go to the cafeteria while Hijikata continued to struggle around to change and whatnot. It helped to have Gintoki gone during that time and when he came back, Hijikata was usually ready – sometimes he thought Gintoki took his time on purpose – and Gintoki would bring with him some kind of juice or milk for himself and coffee for Hijikata.

It needed to be clear that Hijikata had had to bargain with the bastard to get him to bring a coffee back with him. The terms and conditions were under constant negotiation, sometimes Hijikata would have to agree to giving Gintoki a snooze option where he got fifteen minutes of extra sleeping time and other times Gintoki got something like a pass where he could win any small disagreement by default if he implemented it. Hijikata couldn't say they were exactly getting along, but they were getting by okay in the day to day.

“Coffee?” Gintoki asked, still rubbing sleep from his eyes, his shirt not zipped up yet.

Hijikata nodded and Gintoki left, but not before bumping hitting and cussing at the door frame. That was something Hijikata had learned during the week – Gintoki had a size issue. Hijikata had been sitting alone in the cafeteria when he'd heard a noise that made him look up and... blink. Gintoki had tried to walk through the door, but hadn't adjusted his wings properly. As a result, they'd both hit the door frame and everything in Gintoki's arms had gone falling to the ground. With a little scream, Gintoki had scrambled to start picking it all up, but the task had been made difficult because he kept bumping into things like chairs and the tables.

For some reason, until then, it had never occurred to Hijikata that Gintoki had any problems at all, much less with his size. And once he'd seen that little display, he began to notice just how often Gintoki knocked things over on accident. It was both amusing and pathetic to see, he was glad he wasn't the only one having wing difficulties. He made fun of Gintoki for it now and then, but he didn't get too much satisfaction from it since it was well known that Hijikata fell over without anyone touching him. It kind of made him mad that Gintoki got off so easy while Hijikata legitimately struggled with his curse, but there was nothing to be done about it.

Gintoki returned and Hijikata pulled out his mayo bottle with one hand while taking the offered cup with the other. He set them both on the desk and took off the caps to each so he could pour a generous helping of mayo in. The first time Gintoki had brought Hijikata coffee, he'd filled it up to the brim and Hijikata had had to take some out to make room for the mayo. It didn't escape him that ever since then, Gintoki didn't fill it up so high. That was definitely something that fell under suspicious behavior, but Hijikata wasn't awake enough to care or think too much on it.

Putting the top back on, Hijikata swirled the coffee around to get the mayo all mixed in before taking his first sip. It was hot and burned a little, but the creaminess of the mayo soothed it and made it absolutely perfect. Slowly standing up, he tested his legs and his weight distribution, then nodded toward the door. Gintoki always walked ahead of him, which was fine, and Hijikata had to admit that the water therapy was helping. Not a lot, but enough to make him feel like returning to the pond was a decent investment of his time.

They walked out to where the car was parked, Hijikata keeping a hand on the wall the entire way. He had a small bag slung over his shoulder, some old thing he'd unearthed in his closet, which he'd cleaned out recently since he had the time these days. It was slow going, but Gintoki didn't remark on the pace, probably because he knew Hijikata would just smack him if he did. Getting in the car was still pretty tricky, but they'd figured out a semi-efficient way to do it.

Gintoki got in first and Hijikata helped maneuver his wing in, then closed the door when it was out of the way. He'd accidentally closed it on a couple feathers the other day and he was surprised the windows hadn't shattered when Gintoki screamed. It'd sounded like the guy was dying! He'd been grumpier than usual the rest of the day, too, and hadn't done too much when they were at the pond. Hijikata was pretty sure he was just pouting and being a pathetic little whiny princess over the whole thing.

Hijikata got in the car next, carefully slipping one wing in and leaning down to put his coffee in the cup holder. They'd learned that any drinks always needed lids the hard way and he was just going to leave that one unexplained. He had his reasons, the reader could just use their imagination as to what those reasons might be.

His second wing was harder to get in, but that was where Gintoki helped out. He'd hold Hijikata's first wing back so that he could sit, then Gintoki would reach over and help pull his second wing through the door. They had to wrangle Hijikata's wings in together, then Gintoki held them down so that Hijikata could close the door and Gintoki kept holding them while Hijikata drove. They did that this time, too, and before long they were on their way. They didn't talk much, they mostly bickered, but really only on the way back. Gintoki had said once that it was too early for him and that Hijikata should leave him alone, so, they didn't talk much. On the way back Gintoki was much more lively, but until then he only yawned and stared blankly at things.

But... as Hijikata started to drive, he quickly realized that something was different compared to every morning so far. For in the back, Gintoki was bouncing a little in his seat and actively _chattering_. He wasn't even talking about anything, just commenting on the things he saw and what he thought about them.

“Oi! Shuddap back there!”

“No! Don't you silence me, that is oppression! You can't oppress me, I'm the main character!”

Hijikata glanced up in the rear view mirror just as Gintoki a sip of his drink and... there was something...

“Is that – are you drinking _coffee?_ ”

“Yeah! I do from time to time and there was a bunch of cream and sugar when I went to get our drinks, so I just, you know, made myself a cup instead of having juice. Or milk! Yesterday I had strawberry milk! The kids brought it for me when they'd visited! Gin-san is so lucky!”

“You don't need to yell!”

“Am I yelling?”

“Yes! Quit it!”

“I'm not –”

“I will turn this car around!” Gintoki let out a loud drawn out sigh that was more a groan than anything. Hijikata rolled his eyes and muttered, “Gonna put up a sign in the mess hall, that's what I'll do. Ban you from getting anything from caffeine, yeah, that's what I'll do.” Louder, he said, “You are never to have coffee ever again, ya hear?”

“But it's delicious!”

“Not after how much sugar you put into it! And cream, too!”

“That's what makes it good! Besides, you put mayo in yours, who are you to judge me?”

“Food of the gods and sugar can't even be compared like that!”

“Says _who_? Who says that? You? You say a lot of shit you pass off as rules when all you do is make them up on the spot to suit your point!”

“You're in a car that belongs to my faction! And you're drinking coffee and using products that were paid for by the Shinsengumi! That alone should tell you that what I say, goes!”

“Again! Again, you're making that up on the spot! I'm breathing this air, now you can't breathe this air because it's mine! I say it's mine, so, it's mine now!”

“You don't pay for this air! You couldn't even afford it if you had to!”

Gintoki thumped the joints of his wings against the roof of the car. “That's not the point!” The retort Hijikata had right on the tip of his tongue was cut off when Gintoki started laughing. It was just a short laugh, a bark, and it pretty much ended the whole dispute. “You're so full of shit.”

Hijikata snorted. “Takes one to know one.”

In answer, Gintoki gave the wing he was holding back a little tug and then choked back a laugh when Hijikata's opposite wing extended out and hit the window. Hijikata found it far less amusing, but it didn't matter because he was pulling up to the pond. Gintoki chugged the rest of his drink as Hijikata parked and before the car was even off, Gintoki had the door open. Watching Gintoki get out was always something like squeezing the last bit of toothpaste out of its tube, it took some work, but then it all came oozing out at once. It wasn't any different with the natural perm, he'd wriggle and fight his way through the door, but once he got a shoulder through, he'd go tumbling out and nearly fall on his face.

Gintoki ran off to the pond, kicking off his boots as he went. Hijikata watched him go and narrowed his eyes when Gintoki's wings snapped out at the same he jumped off the bank. He was getting more adventurous with his wings lately, like trying different things, moving them in new ways, he was obviously testing the stretch of their abilities. The jump took him pretty high off the ground and in midair, he tucked his wings in and entered the water in a dive.

Hijikata was much slower getting to the water – not to mention he'd leaned against the car for awhile as he finished his delicious, creamy coffee – and he carefully toed off his sandals before stumbling in. He'd tried taking off his yukata last time, but it really just wasn't worth the effort. His wings were too cumbersome and he spent way too much time fighting with his wings as it was. So, he'd just have to deal with waiting for his clothes to dry a bit before getting in the car – driving around in sopping wet clothes wasn't fun. He was going to start bringing a change of clothes if it got on his nerves too much, but with the heat, it didn't take too long for him to dry out.

He got the water up to his waist without falling and Gintoki was busy splashing around. It was dumb, but Gintoki literally looked like a bird in a bird bath the way he moved and flapped. Hijikata didn't know if he did that on purpose, like if he was mimicking birds or something, but whatever it was, he liked doing it. Water fell and slid over his wings, droplets flew off and glinted in the sunlight, and his perm always fluffed up when his wings shuddered. The only reason Hijikata noticed was because Gintoki looked comfortable, like he'd had wings his whole life, and that was annoying.

Hijikata squished mud beneath his toes and ran his hands over the surface of the water. It wasn't very warm, but it was tolerable with the sun beating down. It may have been early, but it was already pretty hot out. He started his walking and it really was getting easier to do so – in the water, not so much outside of it. The tips of his wings dipped into the water and that felt good, though it sent a shiver down his spine.

Wings – also known as: a mass of overly sensitive feathers.

He'd accidentally pulled a couple feathers out a few days ago and if they fell out on their own, it was okay, but pulled out? Mother fucking _ouch!_ It was always easy to tell when Gintoki accidentally yanked one, he screamed, short and high pitched. As for Hijikata? He yelled and cussed and not only did he remain in a foul mood the rest of the day, but he fell over a lot more. Just pulling out a feather made him lose his balance, like that one single feather was the determinant for his equilibrium.

They did their usual things, Gintoki swam around and Hijikata walked, changing the depths to get himself used to different amounts of stability. They didn't talk much usually, except for the random snapping at each other every once in awhile when they got on each other's nerves. Typically, they stayed on opposite sides of the pond, but today, Gintoki was swimming near Hijikata, staying more toward the deeper part toward the center. Hijikata just ignored him and concentrated on testing his wings and continuously trying out how to balance himself whenever he moved them.

“I don't know why some people think I can't swim,” Gintoki said as he doggy paddled in a circle with his wings arched above the water. “Red Spider arc is a prime example and the Guardian Dog mini-arc, of course. Oh! And the Ryugujo arc! How do people think I ended up on that island?”

“I'm not really in those episodes or chapters, so I'm sure people just assume you can't 'cause you're so stupid.”

“Rude,” Gintoki gurgles, his mouth was underneath the water and he paddled away, but not before dunking a wing under and flinging enough water at Hijikata to make him fall.

He came back up cussing, but Gintoki was already on the other side of the pond rolling around in the shallows. He liked to make waves and use his wings to throw water into the air so it'd come back down in a drizzling spray. Hijikata rolled his eyes and went back to his routine, daring to go in deep enough that it came up to the middle of his chest. He went deeper each time and it was his goal to feel comfortable enough to actually swim, but he wasn't there yet.

About an hour later, Hijikata was ready to call it quits, so he was on his way out. Gintoki was already sitting near the car with his wings spread out so they could dry. They had towels in the back of the car and Gintoki was sitting on the blanket they'd put back there to keep them from sitting in mud. It took Hijikata an annoying amount of time to make his way up there, but he was glad to be done when he got there. Those exercises made him tired, they took a lot of effort – it should be kept in mind that trying to walk had become an exhausting experience and that was pathetic.

“I know what you're up to.”

Gintoki quit picking his nose and flung his booger, but didn't look up from where he was wriggling his toes. “I'm up to something?”

“Always. But this time I know what.” Gintoki glanced up. “You're dumb enough to think you might be able to fly.”

A shrug. “It might've crossed my mind.”

“Thought so. I've been reading.”

“Reading?”

“Of course. If m'gonna have to deal with wings, I wanna know what exactly I'm dealing with.”

“Just a bunch of feathers isn't good enough?”

Hijikata went to the front door and got into the bag he'd brought to get a book he had hidden away in there. “No.”

“I never saw you reading anything other than paperwork.”

“You weren't there when Zaki brought me the book.” He plopped down on the far edge of the blanket and squinted sidelong at Gintoki. “Where were ya, anyway?”

“Mystery,” Gintoki said, waggling his fingers. Dropping his hands into his lap, he asked, “What'd the book say?”

“Nothin' much to help people with wings, but that was to be expected.” He held it up for Gintoki to see, then put it in his lap and opened it while he dried off. “There are different kinds of feathers –”

“Other than big ones and little ones?”

Hijikata bit back a sharp retort. “Duh. The long ones at the end there are the primaries and the ones next to them are the secondaries. By the diagram,” he found the page he wanted, “it looks like they're separated by a joint.”

“What are these fluffy ones on the inside?” Gintoki asked and Hijikata stiffened when the tip of a wing touched the ones Gintoki was referring to.

It felt  _ weird _ , so Hijikata jerked away from it and glared at him in warning. His face heated up as he focused back on the book, refusing to look up from it again even though he knew Gintoki was making a face.

“I-it says they're called scapulars.”

“Uh-huh... but why am I stupid for thinking I might be able to fly?”

“Wings aren't big enough.”

“What?” Gintoki squawked and his wings fluffed up accordingly. “Have you not _seen_ these things? They're ginormous!”

“But still not big enough. One of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to wings is not realizing just how big they need to be to lift an entire human being off the ground and sustain that. You weigh, what? Two hundred pounds?”

“Ha! Not even! Hundred and fifty-eight, asshole.”

Hijikata _had_ to look back over at that one because there was no way Gintoki was only two pounds more than himself. His eyes went up and down Gintoki's body, pausing right at the shoulders. That had to be where the bulk was coming from, those huge shoulders, yeah, that was it.

“Fine. But even weighing that, your wingspan would need to be longer. Plus, it's impossible for you to do a running takeoff like you try to do when you jump in the water.”

Gintoki was rubbing his chin like he had a beard. “Well, the way I see it, it's impossible for a human to have wings and yet here you and I are with a pair of wings on our backs. I just don't think we can rule anything out as impossible, so stop thinking so logically, you're putting a damper on my fun!”

“Oh, sure, this is so fun for _you!_ You don't have anything to do everyday, but me? I actually have a _job_! A job that I can't do because of these shitty wings, so I don't give a shit about your goddamn fun, asshat!”

“So we're supposed to sit around being pissed about something we can't control? That's such a waste! What's wrong with having some fun with it while we can?”

Hijikata would punch him if he were close enough, but luckily – for once – his wing did it for him. “Shuddap. Stop talkin' before I throttle you.”

Gintoki started to say something, but trailed off into annoyed grumblings. They didn't talk anymore, just glared at each other until Gintoki started to doze in the sunshine. By the time they were dry enough to leave, they wouldn't even look at each other, both knew it would just lead to a fight.

-o-O-o-

Hours later, Hijikata was alone in his room and filtering through paperwork. He'd just had a late lunch, so late that he'd probably skip dinner because, in all likeliness, he'd still be full. Gintoki had been gone since they'd gotten back and for once, Hijikata was tempted to go find him. He disappeared all the time! It was only natural Hijikata started to get a little curious as to where exactly it was within the barracks that he went. The barracks were  _ Hijikata's _ territory, it sort of bothered him not knowing what Gintoki was getting into – which was most likely things he shouldn't be anywhere near. 

He had to fight off his embarrassment to leave his room, but he deemed tracking Gintoki down worth it. He might have had Zaki do it, but then he'd have to find him, too, which he didn't want to do. He moved slowly and checked each hall before he went down it to see if there was anyone in it. He'd avoid people if he could, but since it was during the day, most of the faction was gone. They were out doing their jobs, what Hijikata longed to do, but the fact that they were following through and the reports were coming back, Hijikata was relatively pleased with them. He was just extremely jealous of them....

Hearing footsteps behind him, Hijikata looked over his shoulder and cussed because his wing was in the way. He tried to lower it, but it just moved forward, pushing into him, and he had to grapple harder at the wall to stay upright.

“Fukuchou?” Zaki walked around him to stand in front of him, holding a clipboard out. “I was just on my way to give this to you. It's the latest reports on the current drug lead we have.”

“Ah... put that in my room, I'm kinda busy right now.” Zaki saluted and turned to go, it wasn't until his back was to him that Hijikata asked nonchalantly as he moved the opposite way, “You seen the natural perm around?”

“I think he's in the dojo.”

Hijikata's head whipped around and he lost his balance and fell into a wall. “W-what?”

Zaki had stopped and half-turned. “He goes there every now and then, pretty sure I saw him head over not too long ago.”

With a wave of his hand, Hijikata was off as fast as he could without looking like he was rushing. The _dojo_? Gintoki was in the dojo. Hijikata's dojo. Fighting. _What the fuck?_ Hijikata took a misstep and fell, but he was so mad he couldn't care. He got back up and hurried on his way, getting out into the courtyard and crossing it, but not without tripping again. He had a skimmed knee by the time he got to the dojo and could peek in through the window so he wouldn't have to enter.

A group of his faction were clustered together and, sure enough, Gintoki was in there. He had his bokken in one hand and he was set apart from everyone else. He was barefoot and was moving his wings around and stretching them out while the group huddled together, talking amongst themselves.

“Next already!” Gintoki called. “You've had long enough!”

Harada looked like he was about ready to piss himself as he was pushed forward, but Hijikata had to admit that he did a decent job of pulling himself together when he raised his practice sword and took a stance. In response, Gintoki spread his legs wider, giving himself a sturdier base, and his wings curved in closer to his body as he took his own stance. If there was one thing Hijikata had learned through experience, it was that Gintoki's style of fighting was fairly unpredictable. They fought together well when they needed to, but as a whole, Gintoki was far more erratic and without a doubt, he knew Harada didn't stand a chance, wings or no wings.

Gintoki's face was blank, it was one of the most unintelligent looks Hijikata had ever seen, but when Gintoki moved, he moved with distinct purpose. His steps were light, his wings tilted and adjusted in small increments, he was testing himself as well as the capabilities of his body with his new additives. Harada approached and Gintoki watched him, the look on his face suggesting he could pick his nose at any moment.

Slowly, one wing swung out, opening, and the second Harada glanced at the movement, Gintoki struck and pushed him back. Harada's counterattack was blocked by Gintoki's bokken and right after, he drove his right wing outward and slammed the joint into Harada's chest, forcing the air out of his body. He dropped his sword, the wood clanking against the floor, and just like that, the fight was over and Hijikata was done, he'd seen enough. Quietly, he turned to leave and went straight for his room absolutely seething.

Hijikata knew – some might call it assuming, but in this case he _knew_ – that Gintoki was making sure he could still fight and protect what he needed to.

And the really shitty part was that he _could_.

Gintoki could while Hijikata very much _couldn't._

Hijikata was loathe to admit it, but he was jealous. So fucking jealous that the acid in his stomach curdled and he felt sick, it burned so bright. He turned away and went back to his room where he fully intended to wallow. He couldn't fight like that, not even close with two weird ass wings jutting out of his back, and the reoccurring realization that he was basically useless, that he couldn't protect anything or anyone, not really even himself, it was killing him and he felt like shit.

-o-O-o-

“Here!”

Hijikata heard a thud, but he didn't look up, he didn't want to have anything to do with the bastard. He was so close to snapping, agreement or no agreement, he was right on the edge of beating Gintoki to a pulp simply for existing and being so goddamn annoying. He was sprawled out on his stomach on his bed, it was passed dinner, he'd finished all his paperwork, and he was just _done_. He'd spent most of his time alone furious and not knowing where to direct it since he didn't have a viable outlet. Kondo had stopped by and the day had only gotten worse when he'd told Hijikata that they hadn't found out anything new about wings, but they were still working hard on it.

Priority investigation, he'd said.

So, not only could Hijikata not work, but his problem was a 'top priority' over more important things like drug busts and raids and investigations. Never, not ever, should Hijikata come before the job and the work. He was a mere _priority_ now, even more useless than he'd originally thought. Then, Kondo had gone and made it worse by telling Hijikata how proud he was that he was making such an effort to get along with Gintoki. It might have been nice to hear, might have even been something for Hijikata to be proud of, but it pretty much threw Hijikata's plans to jump Gintoki and beat him up for being unfairly un-handicapped by the wing thing out the window.

“Go. Away.”

“Ack! You're fluffing at me! Why are you aggressively fluffing at me? Stop that! What'd I do this time, ahn? I just threw you some beer!”

Hijikata looked over at what Gintoki had tossed and, just like he'd said, there was a bottle of beer there. “Where'd you get this?”

“It's collateral for a bet.”

He must have been talking about the fighting, if he won he'd get something, in this case beer and god knew what else. Just thinking about it pissed Hijikata off, so he grabbed the beer, uncapped it, and chugged half of it down. He heard Gintoki make some stupid kind of happy sound and then there was a _tsss_ as he opened his own drink. Hijikata ignored him and just focused on chugging the rest of his beer. Normally he wouldn't condone drinking on the job, but he was currently useless, so, sober or drunk, it didn't matter.

“This is phase two, by the way.”

“Hm?”

Gintoki waved his drink when Hijikata looked up. “Phase two. Well, idea two. Pond was the first one, this is the second.”

“How the fuck would drinking help me with my problem?”

“Well, earlier I was pining to go play Pachinko and usually I'd have a few drinks while I'm there. It got me thinking, like, your wings are fucking, right?” Hijikata scowled and he almost spilled his second beer when his right wing jerked backward. “See? Like that! Some beer sounded good, figured we could both benefit from it, it's a win, win!”

Hijikata's face scrunched as he thought. “So... you wanna get me drunk 'cause....”

“'Cause your wings already act like they're drunk! What if you got drunk and tried walking? Would you be able to?”

“Truly, only an idiot like you could think of something so stupid.”

Gintoki just smirked and raised his bottle. “Exactly.” He took a sip. “Imagine how dumb you'll look if it works.”

“It won't.”

“How d'you know?”

“I just do.”

“And you say I have bad logic!”

Hijikata rolled his eyes, but sighed and gave in. He brought the beer to his mouth and glared when Gintoki let out a whoop.

_Thirty Minutes Later_

_Gintoki: 6 Beers_

_Hijikata: 4 Beers_

“You are such a lightweight!”

“M'not!”

Gintoki laughed and shook his head. “You should see yourself! You look so stupid!”

“I do not!” Hijikata slurred where he was sprawled out on his stomach. “This was yer idea, ya big dumb'n yer dumb fluff!”

There was a loud gasp. “Don't talk about my big flutters like that!”

“Ya call'em big flutters, that's so... lame!”

“Oi, oi, oi! I couldn't think of the word!”

“Wings?”

“Yeah!” Gintoki blurted, he was hunched forward with one of his legs pulled to him on the floor and the other with his knee raised, which he was grabbing onto. “Why – why d'we have'em?”

“Why're ya askin'? I dunno! S'what they're tryin'ta figure out!”

“Oh! Wait we're getting' distracted.” Gintoki unfolded himself – literally – and got up to walk over to Hijikata. “Up! Get up! Gotta see if you can walk!”

Hijikata struggled up onto his knees and had to steady himself by bracing his hands against the floor. When he was ready to stand, Gintoki grabbed the underside of his bicep and hauled him up. The room wouldn't stay still no matter how many times he cussed at it or told it do quit, which only made Gintoki laugh and call him a dumbass.

“Good?”

Hijikata shoved Gintoki away once he thought he had his balance. “Yeah, yeah, go'way!”

Gintoki stepped back, leaving Hijikata to stand there with his arms out, just in case. He could feel the flush in his face, but it was the alcohol and that was it, nothing else was contributing to his blush – he just wanted to make that clear. Taking a deep breath, he held it and took a step.

He didn't fall over, he didn't even feel like he was going to.

Gintoki was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. “You see? You seein' this?”

“S-shut it! M'not done yet!”

Hijikata let out his breath in a rush and took another step – he didn't fall over then, either. His wings were behaving! They were –

“Fuck!” Both wings jerked and Hijikata landed flat on his face with the loudest thud. “It di'n't work, b-bastard!”

Gintoki fell on his ass laughing. “Well, least we tried!”

The room was spinning too fast for Hijikata to warrant keeping his eyes open, so he closed them and settled for kicking a leg out. He knew it hit when Gintoki stopped laughing and yelped instead, which made Hijikata smirk. He couldn't even feel bad about wiping out, the booze were doing their job and he couldn't care about much of anything. He couldn't feel his fingertips, the buzz in his head was so strong – when was the last time he'd even had a drink? – and it was hard to feel like useless shit when he was blitzed.

“Whazzat noise?”

“Mm?” Hijikata just laid there with his arms spread out above his head. “Wha' noise?”

“Gorilla! Hey! Satisfaction!” Kondo's opened the door to poke his face into the room and Gintoki struggled up onto his knees. “Gorilla! I have an idea!”

He came inside grinning. “What is it, Gin-san?”

“What if,” he hiccuped, “we moved into my apartment?”

“You mean... stay there instead of here?”

“Yup! Think! Think, think, think about it! Just – imagine!” Gintoki held up both hands and motioned with them. “There'd be more room, space, you know? Ya got patrols goin' by there all the time, someone could stop in every now and then. Cars! Could even leave a car there for us t'go out when we need to!”

“Hmm... those are really good reasons, but –”

“At least let us try! I miss my kids! And goin' down to see Ba-san!

“I guess that's not a problem. Tosshi?”

Hijikata shrugged and both his wings snapped out, surprising him into falling onto his back. “Uhh... dunno, could try?”

He didn't know what he was saying, his head was swimming and the floor was moving in a way he knew it shouldn't be. The voices became more and more distant and the last thing he saw before his eyes slipped shut was a wall of white feathers.

**To Be Continued**

 


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The burden of having faulty wings would take its toll on anyone, HIjikata is no exception.

Hijikata woke up to a dull headache, which definitely wasn't the worst hangover he'd ever had. That he had a hangover at all was annoying and put him in a bad mood right away. He tried to think of the last thing he remembered from the night before and nothing was really coming to mind... except falling on his face. That single detail would have been the actual best thing to not be able to remember, but he could even recall the pain of his cheek hitting the floorboards.

There was a thudding sound and Hijikata's whole body flinched as he curled in on himself, groaning, “What're ya doin'?”

“Getting ready to go?”

Hijikata sat up and groaned again, holding his head. “Go where?”

“The apartment, you should get ready, too.”

“Why?”

“You're coming with, remember?”

“Nnggg....” Hijikata's brow scrunched and he squinted at Gintoki's blurry outline. “What?”

Gintoki paused and stared back at him. “Last night? We talked to Gorilla and agreed to stay at my apartment for awhile? I figure we could stay there, then come back here if we need to. Your underlings can bring you whatever paperwork there is and I'll be so kind as to let you use my desk, which, frankly, puts your little dinky thing to shame.”

“No? What! I never agreed to that!” Hijikata yelled and immediately recoiled. “Ohh... what the fuck did you do to my head?”

“Me? Nothing! It was only a few beers! I had more than you and I'm not hungover!”

“Stop bein' so loud!”

Bare feet padded across the floor and when Hijikata looked up, Gintoki was crouched beside him. No, not crouched – perched. He was on the balls of his feet, arms around his legs, and body hunched so his wings were pulled close and curving to his sides near his body.

“Why can't we go?” Gintoki whispered.

“W-why would we?”

“More space. I can see my kids. There's a bar right below the apartment. The windows provide great views of the city. You can actually _hear_ what's going on outside. Need I go on?”

“I need to be with my faction!”

Gintoki's wings twitched. “Do you?”

Two words, that was all it took. Just two small words and Hijikata's stomach hit rock bottom and his mouth went dry because Gintoki was _right_. His faction had no need of him, they didn't come to consult him much because Kondo had fully taken over and there was no specific room paperwork had to be done in. His faction didn't need him for the time being and that fucking hurt. He lived for this and for working with Kondo, but he was literally of no use to anyone at the barracks.

But that still didn't mean he wanted to leave and go stay at Gintoki's dingy apartment. That arrangement benefited Gintoki more than anyone and, all things considered, they were far safer at the barracks than anywhere else. Though, he didn't really know what anyone would want to do with a winged person that couldn't even fly or his case walk.

Gintoki poked Hijikata's forehead with a finger. “Are you still there?”

“Yes!” Hijikata snapped, swatting the hand away with a smack. “A-and I don't... get back! There's no reason for you to be this close! Back!” He gave Gintoki a shove and glared at him so fucking hard when instead of toppling back and falling on his ass, he flapped his wings a couple times and rose to his feet in a motion that was too smooth, like he'd done it before or something. “U-um...” he shook his head to get himself back on track, “why do we have to go together? Why c-can't I stay here and you go there?”

“I asked Gorilla the same thing, remember? Back when we first got these wings? I asked why I had to stay here with _you_ ,” he said the word like a curse, “and he said something about safety. Like, if something happens to one of us because of these things,” he extended his wings out, “it'd be best to have the other one of us nearby, just in case.”

“I don't believe that load of shit!”

“Let's get your Gorilla in here then, he's the one who came up with that idea.”

“Stop callin' him Gorilla!” Hijikata yelled and held his head when it throbbed.

“Want some painkillers?”

“No, I don't want any damn painkillers!”

“Should... I go get him? You're not moving very fast.”

“Just – ah, fuck, get outta my sight for a bit!” Gintoki shrugged and turned for the door, but when he reached it, Hijikata called, “Bring me some coffee!”

It felt like coffee was all he needed to cure his ailments and it made him angry that it felt like it was later in the day than it should have been. Scrambling over, he grabbed his phone where he spotted it near the futons and hissed at the time. They'd usually be at the pond, maybe even starting to finish up by this time, but instead, he'd only just woken up. He'd missed his whole goddamn morning! Why hadn't that moron woken him up? Now Hijikata's whole day was going to feel off and his head was hurting and for what? So Gintoki could test some lame ass theory that hadn't even come close to working?

“Ughhh, I hate him,” Hijikata griped and started to pull himself together.

Since he had the room to himself, he took the chance of crawling on all fours over to his futon. It wasn't very dignified, even less so when he spread his wings out and his right one jerked back inward hard enough to make him lose his balance. He leaned heavily to the left and had to raise his right leg to try and counter the weight deficiency and he knew he looked stupid. Even with no one there, his face lit up and he lowered his head when his leg touched the floor again so he could crawl the rest of the way to the futon.

He plopped down face first into his pillow and it felt like his whole body creaked in thanks. Spending the whole night on the hardwood hadn't helped him at all, it only made his body achy and stiff. Yet another thing to hate Gintoki for because it was obviously all his fault, Hijikata would even blame him for the curse of these fucking wings if only he could.

It was getting hard to breathe into his pillow, so he turned his head and the first thing he saw was silver feathers strewn out like landmines over Gintoki's futon. It must have been where he'd slept last night and he'd probably liked it since Hijikata hadn't been there to kick him or snap at him to move his wing away. And that was irritating because out of the two of them, Gintoki shouldn't have been the one to get a good night's sleep.

There weren't a lot of feathers on the futon, only eight after counting. They were all sizes, though four of them were the small curly ones near the base of his wing. Reaching out, Hijikata picked one up and brought it in close to his face where he glared at it. He'd promised not to light the little fuckers on fire, so he had to figure out another equally satisfying way to get rid of the stupid things. He twirled the small thing between his fingers and... it was soft. He'd known it would be soft, but it still surprised him, mostly because it was Gintoki's feather and connecting him with soft didn't add up in Hijikata's mind.

Hearing footsteps made his heart jerk and he managed to wriggle himself up onto his ass in time for the door to open. Kondo appeared first with Gintoki right behind him, but the natural perm misjudged the size of the door and accidentally rammed his wings into the frame. He cussed and pulled them in tighter only to let them spread out again once he was inside. He never walked with them pulled in close and given their size, Hijikata was really starting to get why.

When Gintoki looked at Hijikata, his eyes narrowed warily. “You're not gonna burn that, are you?”

“Huh?”

“The feather.”

Hijikata glanced down and... _why_ was he still holding the stupid feather?

“N-no!” He threw the thing and waved his hand to make an air current that would take it away. “Was j-just getting it away from me! Little fuckers are everywhere.”

“Not like I can really control that. There are little black ones all over the place too, but I don't hear you complaining about them.”

“Now, now, boys, you've been doing so good!” Kondo interrupted with a cheerful smile. “Gintoki says you've maybe changed your mind about staying in Kabukichou?”

“Yeah, think I'd rather stay here.”

“Well, if you really don't want to, no one will for you, you know that.”

“I don't wanna.”

Gintoki snorted. “That's a shame, 'cause I do.”

“Then go! There's nothin' really keepin' us together, right? I got my wings first, so... so if somethin' happens to me, then someone could just call him and let him know!”

“That... could work,” Kondo hedged. “Or you could try it out? Maybe switch it up? I know you don't like it, Tosshi, but I really want you to stay with someone. I could assign someone from the faction to you, but... I thought you'd prefer, given your... condition... to have someone else around to help you. Should you need it.”

Hijikata's wings fluffed up and his shoulders pinched as his face got hot and red. God, he was so embarrassed! His own Commander was coddling him! Because the sad truth was that he needed the help! His wings made him handicapped and he had too much pride to admit that. Having anyone from his faction be the one to baby him would be mortifying, he'd never be revered as anything threatening! His whole reputation would be obliterated! Which meant that Gintoki – the fucking natural perm! – was his one and only choice to stick with if he wanted to preserve any of his status.

A tiny voice in his head whispered that it could be worse, but when he asked it _how_ , it didn't make a fucking sound.

“I'd be willing to go back and forth,” Gintoki supplied.

“You'll say anything to get me to agree.” It was then Hijikata noticed the cup in Gintoki's hand and he tipped his head toward it. “That my coffee?”

“Ah, yeah, here.” He stepped forward to hand it over, then stepped back to where he'd been. “And I want my kids.”

Hijikata almost snapped back that he wanted nothing to do with them, but he bit his tongue since Kondo was sitting right there. It occurred to him, in a very strange way, that Kondo might be disappointed in him if he didn't give it a try and that was what really got him thinking about the idea. _Really_ thinking about it, not just dismissing it right away because it was something Gintoki wanted – which he could admit was childish. That was a problem... the Vice-Commander shouldn't be so petty, but no one could blame him for wanting to stay with his faction even if he was currently useless to them. He drank a huge swig of his coffee, burning his mouth, and he was glad that it didn't come right back up. However, it didn't help with his headache at all and that only made him crankier.

“You could just try it out,” Kondo said. “Gintoki agreed to stay here, it might be unfair to give him no choice.”

Hijikata had begun to grind his teeth because he could _feel_ himself giving in, if only to please Kondo. It sucked so fucking much to be so useless, he couldn't say that enough. It was like everything he'd worked so hard for was on standstill, he couldn't move forward, he refused to go back. He was in purgatory and he'd never known it could feel like hell.

“I'll give it three days.”

“A week,” Gintoki replied stubbornly.

Hijikata glared at him. “Four days.”

“Six.”

“You're lucky I'm givin' you any at all!”

“And _you_ don't understand that I want my kids! How many times have I said that and how many more will it take for you to get it?”

Hijikata wanted to punch him, he really did. Were he able to jump up and hit him, he would have, but that ability was well outside of his capabilities.

“Okay. Six days.”

“Really?”

“Don't push it.”

Kondo grinned. “Good! Glad that's settled! I'd had a car ready for you this morning, I thought you'd be going out.”

“Yeah... we didn't exactly make it,” Hijikata mumbled and his head was throbbing even harder now.

“It's ready to go when you are! I'll go double check it right now and you can always call if you need anything. Someone will always be ready to go over if they need to and Yamazaki will stop by a couple times a day to give you some paperwork and update you with what's going on.”

Hijikata nodded, he didn't trust his voice. He knew that if he opened his mouth he'd spill everything that was on his mind and he'd just sound like a whiny asshole. Gintoki had gone back to packing, though it wasn't like he had much stuff to pile up. Hijikata and Kondo ironed out a few more things about the arrangement and it didn't help Hijikata feel any better about it. It felt more like he was just going through the motions or that he was being kicked out almost. It felt wholly _wrong_ to be leaving his faction behind, but he couldn't back out of it now. He was a man of his word, after all.

“Want me to pack some of your stuff up for you?” Gintoki asked after Kondo left.

“Nah, I'll do it.” Hijikata finally moved off the futon, but paused in the middle of standing up. “Do I need to pack the futon?”

“Mmm... if you want to. I have an extra one, but you might be more comfortable on your own.”

Hijikata didn't respond and scooted off his futon so he could begin rolling it up after he downed the rest of his coffee. There were some black feathers on it and even a couple white ones, so he grabbed the edge and flapped it to get them off. He then folded it and rolled it up, then tied it off to keep it compact. There was a sense of doom about everything he did, each thing bringing him one step closer to the inevitable and it just made him angry. He grabbed his pillow and rested it on top of the futon, deeming it ready to go and carefully got up to go to his closet.

“Pick up your futon,” Hijikata ordered and was a little surprised when Gintoki just went and did it.

Then again, maybe he shouldn't be surprised at all. Gintoki was getting what he wanted, he'd probably start being a little shit again once they were out of the barracks. Hijikata grabbed a bag from the bottom of his closet and started filling it with clothes. He packed yukatas, boxers, shoes, socks, sandals, his bathroom items, and... his uniform. He didn't know why, none of it had slits for his wings and he didn't want to ruin them by cutting them. Really, the uniform served no purpose to him right now, but it felt wrong to leave it behind.

“I'm going out to the car, want me to take anything with me?”

Hijikata closed his bag and nudged it toward him until he came over and picked it up. When he was alone, he looked around his room and it seemed bare with both the futons picked up for once. The feathers, any trace of them, were extinguished. Hijikata didn't know if Gintoki had rolled them in the futon, even the ones on the floor, thrown them away, or packed them up, but they were all gone. His room looked clean, like it had before the wings and it made his chest lurch. He missed it. Being able to go to work, fight, go on patrols, go out with Kondo for dinner and drinks, he missed all of it. He wasn't the type of person that could be cooped up and confined and restrained, that was no way for him to live.

Bowing his head, he took a deep breath and got himself to stand up. He felt heavy, weighed down by some unseen force, and he could identify that he was unhappy. The only thing he could do was keep going and hope that the wings sorted themselves out soon so he could have his goddamn life back. Picking up his futon and pillow, he carefully made his way out into the hall and closed the door behind him with a sense of finality. The trek out to the car was long and he tripped a couple times, dropped his pillow once, and it was fitting that the day was overcast.

Kondo was there to see him off and Hijikata felt bad, but he wasn't in the mood to talk. He didn't look for any help getting into the car, he just forced his first wing through the door and sat himself down. His head was still hurting, but he suddenly just didn't care. Gintoki got himself into the back and grabbed Hijikata's second wing so he could close the door and get them going. The car was full of gas, everything they needed was packed up, and Hijikata made sure he had his phone and wallet before putting the car into drive. Kondo waved them off and they were on their way, though Hijikata only felt worse.

Gintoki didn't say a word the whole way, which was good, Hijikata might have just turned the car back around. He couldn't explain how wrong it felt to be driving _away_ from his faction, away from his room that had become his home, away from the people that were most dear to him. The situation was so fucked up and the sheer anger he had toward his wings made him want to rip them off. Just reach back, take hold, and pull until they tore from his skin and he could be free of them.

“Park alongside the stairs, kinda in front of them. Just, you know, not blocking the road.”

Hijikata did so and parked as close as he could get, though there really wasn't much room to work with. They'd probably have to find a different place to put it because a cop car would draw a lot of attention after awhile. A large towel was thrown up front next to Hijikata and then Gintoki was getting out of the car with his own towel around his back and over his shoulders. His wings were tucked in close and tight and though he looked weird with the towel around him, no one would probably be able to tell he had wings unless they _really_ looked.

Getting out of the car, Hijikata tried to do the same, but it was difficult since his wings weren't cooperating. Gintoki bounded up the stairs and was out of sight before Hijikata even got to the first step. He heard a thud and a scream from above, but he just grit his teeth and climbed. The railing helped to keep him steady, which he was grateful for, but he still didn't want to be there. Every step was heavy and heavier, the towel kept trying to fall off because his wings were pushing and refusing to stay flat against him.

By the time he got to the door, he was irritated and he also found the source of the noises he'd heard. Gintoki was on his ass with China crawling all over him while Megane sat to the side. Hijikata felt so out of place, it was pathetic, and he could think of nothing else to do except stand there like an idiot. He didn't know what to do except stand there and move out of the way of the door in case someone happened to be looking. Sadaharu was yapping behind them, his tail wagging so hard his whole body shook from side to side like a wet noodle. They all looked so happy, their little family, each one talking over the other and laughing. After Gintoki's urging, the two kids ran off to unload the car and Sadaharu went thundering after them, shoving passed Hijikata so fast it ran him into the wall.

“It's good to be back!” Gintoki yelled and got up to head farther into the apartment.

Like a lost duckling, Hijikata followed, the towel still around his shoulders. “Where will I sleep?”

Gintoki pointed to one of the blue sofas. “Here.”

“I...” Hijikata studied it and right away there was a problem, “I won't fit on the sofa.”

“Try the floor.”

“With the _dog_?”

“Why not?”

Hijikata was fuming and that dead weight in his stomach redoubled to the point it felt like he was suffocating. He was going to be sick or... something. He didn't actually know, but he was frustrated to a point where he couldn't even react to it.

“I'm _kidding_ ,” Gintoki said, snapping Hijikata back into the room. “You have a futon and my room is big enough to fit both of us. We probably won't even have to touch at all if we keep the futons far enough away from each other.”

Gintoki walked off to his room and opened the sliding door, showing it off and inviting Hijikata to take a look. He was really slow walking over and used different objects to lean on along the way. The kids came running back in and set some stuff down by the sofas, then went skittering back outside to get more. Hijikata stepped passed Gintoki into his room and looked around the whole thing. It was mostly bare, but large and already it looked like a place Hijikata could retreat to when the presence of Gintoki's little family became too much.

“Nice, right?”

Hijikata glared at him over his shoulder. “You're never gonna be able to sell me on this, so don't even try.”

Gintoki raised his hands. “You say that now, but give it time and it'll grow on ya.”

He left when the kids came back in and Hijikata stood there in the middle of the empty room feeling just as empty. He glanced out the door and saw China standing behind Gintoki, her hands on his wings and face between them. Gintoki was talking to Megane about who knew what and once again, Hijikata was struck with the sense that he didn't belong. He didn't know what his faction was doing, they didn't _need_ him as he was, and he wanted so much to call, but what good would that do?

Walking out of Gintoki's room, he punched the bastard's shoulder as he passed. “C'mon, we're leavin'.”

“Leaving?” Gintoki echoed.

“But you just got here!” China protested, bodily lifting Gintoki up with arms around his waist. She wasn't talking to Hijikata, that much he knew. “Gin-chan! Stay with us!”

Hijikata didn't stay to listen, he left the whole fucking apartment, towel still around himself, and shoved himself into the car. He threw the towel away and pulled his cigarettes out of his yukata. He'd slipped them in there earlier and they were going to come in handy now. His head was hammering and he didn't bother cracking a window while he puffed away at first one, then two cigarettes. He smashed them into a tray he found in between the seats and he figured it'd be full within the next half hour. After ten minutes, Gintoki came down the stairs with the towel around himself and he looked up to the dark sky. The kids weren't with him and it was hard to tell if he was pissed or not... or if he felt anything at all. He got into the car and when the door closed, Hijikata started it up and drove off.

“We're going to the pond.”

“I figured.”

Fingers wrapped around the ridge of Hijikata's wing to hold it just in case and he _hated_ how that was some kind of a _comfort_.

“Don't you fuckin' touch me.”

Gintoki held on a moment longer, then let go and Hijikata didn't take his eyes off the road. He drove carefully and it was eerily silent in the car except when Hijikata's wing jerked and he swerved slightly. He cussed and righted the wheels, luckily it had happened when they were on a road within the city where there were people. When they were almost to the pond, the sky finally broke and fat raindrops began splattering against the windshield. Hijikata didn't stop driving and kept smoking, not caring that the smoke was filling up the car. They got to the pond and Hijikata parked, turned the car off, and they sat listening to the rain.

He didn't know how long it was until Gintoki asked, “You still wanting to go out there?”

“Shut up.”

Gintoki was quiet for a good minute before, “We haven't eaten today.”

“I said shut up! You think I give a fuck about that?”

“Well... you should. Everyone needs to eat. Myself included.”

Hijikata finished the cigarette he was on and pulverized it in the tray. His fingers were trembling slightly and his head only hurt more, not even his wings were cooperating. They kept twitching and the one by the door wouldn't stop tapping and pushing against it. He tried to make it stop by sheer willpower, but it didn't do any good.

“Are we gonna wait until the rain stops? What if it doesn't?”

“I said shut up! Are you deaf?”

“No! But I'd like to know what the fuck is going on in that messed up head of yours! If you haven't noticed we're kinda just sitting in a car outside the city in the middle of a rainstorm! What the hell do you hope to accomplish with this?”

“I don't know!” Hijikata yelled and slammed his fists against the steering wheel. “I don't even know what I'm supposed to do when I can't even fuckin' walk! Can't fight, can't work, can't do anythin' I need to!”

“So you think sitting in a car is going to help?”

Hijikata let out a loud frustrated noise and exploded, “How the fuck would you understand? You can do anythin' you fuckin' want! Your biggest problem is gettin' through doors, that's it! I have work, I have a faction, and I can't do a goddamn thing for them except paperwork, but what good is that? Anyone can do that! And I'm stuck with you! Of all the fuckin' people to be stuck with, it's you! Not even my own Commander needs me around and I have a sword I can't even use like this! I'd probably end up stabbin' myself with it! Fuck!”

Kicking the door open, he got out and slammed the door shut behind him. He was wet within seconds it was raining so hard and he could barely see through the sheets coming down, but that didn't stop him from moving away from the car. He didn't care where he went, he just wanted _away_. He kept going with his head down until he slipped and thanked fuck he landed on his ass instead of on his face. He didn't try to move after that, he just sat there panting and seething, his outburst stealing the breath from him with the force of his anger. He couldn't remember a time he'd ever been so damn frustrated or so stuck and he wished he knew what the fuck his next move should be.

The rain helped to calm him some, the rhythmic pitter-patter against the ground and forming puddles. He could see the pond and how the raindrops looked splashing into the water, like the pond itself was shuddering. It wasn't a warm rain, there was a chill to it, but not enough to make Hijikata shiver just yet. He had his hands in his lap and just for the hell of it, he reached back, took hold of his left wing, and pulled. It hurt, but he kept pulling, yanking until he was yelling under how much force he was using. All it brought was pain and he had to let go when his wing jerked out of his own hands. They were slick and wet, the feathers easy to slip through his fingers. He sat still after that, breathing hard again and there was a pain going up and down his spine, but he didn't care.

He didn't react to the sound of a door opening and closing, just kept his eyes on the pond. Hijikata resolutely looked away as Gintoki approached and didn't so much as glance up when he stopped beside him. This was humiliating and so degrading. To have a mental breakdown in front of the natural perm? He'd hit an all time low, rock bottom some would call it.

He was expecting to be mocked, so it was a genuine surprise for him when instead, the rain stopped coming down on him. Looking up, he frowned at the big white wing extended out over him and flushed as he looked away again. What a dumb, stupid, idiotic curly haired freak.

“You don't gotta do that.”

“I know.”

“I don't want your pity.”

“Even if I did pity you, it wouldn't stop you from catching a cold. Not that I would really mind watching you fall over every time you sneezed, I just don't wanna catch anything.”

Hijikata ground his teeth, they'd be dust by the end of the day at this rate. “Said the guy standing in the rain.”

“You're exempt from getting sick if you're helping someone out, didn't you know?”

“That's not how it works.”

“Yeah... I guess not. Still sounds good, though.”

“You're an idiot.”

“That's debatable. I'm not the one sitting in a pile of mud.”

“T'ch,” Hijikata snorted and reached out to yank on Gintoki's leg. He slipped and screamed as he fell on his ass with a muddy squelch. “There, now m'not the only one.”

“Asshole! You are...” Gintoki chuckled, “a bastard.”

His wing had risen up and curved, remaining above Hijikata's head, continuing to shelter him from the rain. Gintoki, in comparison, was sopping with his hair plastered down and head tipped forward to keep the water from his eyes.

“I don't think you can catch a cold from this anyway, s'too warm.”

“I guess,” Gintoki replied absently. “Oi, mayora.”

Without even thinking, Hijikata turned his head right into Gintoki's awaiting mud covered fingers. He was so stunned he couldn't even react at first and Gintoki's wings shuddered as he laughed, sending a spray of water falling off either side. Blinking, Hijikata dug his fist into the mud and returned the favor by running his hand from Gintoki's forehead, down his cheek, and ending at his chin. With a loud laugh, Gintoki reached a muddy hand over, but Hijikata was ready and grabbed his wrist. Gintoki pushed and Hijikata leaned away, unprepared for Gintoki's other hand, darkened with mud, to come over and sift through his hair.

“Oh, no, you didn't!”

“I did!”

Hijikata reached up and felt the way his precious v-cut was all muddy and spiked up. “You're dead, natural perm!”

“Do your worst!”

Hijikata gave him a shove, but Gintoki barely budged and swatted back.

“What, are you? A child?”

Gintoki kept batting his hand away. “If you're gonna hit me, then hit me!”

Unprovoked, Hijikata's nearest wing snapped out and pummeled Gintoki's side. In retaliation, Gintoki's wing came down right on Hijikata's head and matted his hair, mud and all.

“Bitch,” Hijikata growled, kicking out and shoving at the mass of feathers.

“Pansy,” Gintoki retorted, sticking his tongue out and screaming when Hijikata managed to flick some mud on it.

By the time they were done trading insults and hits, they were covered in mud. Gintoki had mud on his wing that remained stubbornly over Hijikata's head and there was thick clumps of mud all over his face. Hijikata wasn't any better off and he knew he looked ridiculous, but it felt _good_. Not great, nothing had really changed, but it didn't feel as oppressing as before.

“No, but really,” Gintoki said as he stood, Hijikata getting up after him, “if I catch a cold, you won't hear the end of it.”

“M'not gonna take care of you.”

“I wouldn't want ya to, you'd only make me suffer. Feed me green things or something.”

Hijikata rolled his eyes and gave Gintoki a shove before heading toward the pond. He was already wet, not to mention filthy, it wouldn't matter if he got a little wetter. Gintoki wasn't right by his side, but he was nearby, near enough to be heard.

“You know, you didn't fall or trip when you were on your way out to the car earlier.”

“Hm?” Hijikata thought back and his brows rose. “I guess... that's true.”

“Something to keep in mind.”

Hijikata waded into the water and splashed himself to get the mud off. Gintoki was far less tactful and plunged down, flailing and flapping. There was no way they were going to get all the mud off when they were still clothed, but it was enough to not smear it all over the car. Hijikata could imagine all the mud caked in his hair and clinging to his scalp like bad dandruff, it made him scowl. He dunked himself under and scrubbed, digging his nails in to scrape as much mud out as he could.

When he emerged, he felt clean even though he knew he wasn't. It was a fresh start, if anything, and his reflection, obscured by the pelting rain, looked like a new person. He watched his shadow and spread his wings out, making the shadow bigger. In that moment, he felt like the demon Vice-Commander once again and it felt... _good_.

**To Be Continued**

 


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Hijikata's little breakdown, he starts recovering and things begin to get just a little better for him. A certain natural perm may or may not have something to do with that.

Hijikata took his time in the shower and was careful not to knock anything over. He used as little water as possible, but wasn't reluctant to make it as hot as he could humanly stand it. Despite his efforts, he still got water everywhere because of how it dripped off his wings and he fell getting out of the shower. The only good thing was that there was no one in there to see him flop about and get his towel drenched.

It'd been a long and awkward ride back from the pond and Gintoki had held Hijikata's wing back for him the whole way. It was still raining pretty hard outside, they probably wouldn't be going back out for a couple days to give everything time to dry, they'd just end up muddy if they went too soon. Hijikata was too drained to even get mad that he was sitting in a huge puddle of water bare ass naked, so he just sighed and slowly got back up. He didn't want to think too much about anything, that would just exhaust him further. What he wanted to do was go to bed, but it was a little too early in the evening to be doing that.

He got to his feet and despite that he didn't feel his best, the smell of food cooking made his stomach rumble. Leaving the barracks felt like a lifetime ago and he wished they'd never left. The most he had to worry about at the barracks was Sougo, but now there were two brats who had it out for him. When he and Gintoki had gotten back, the way those kids had looked at him when he'd walked through the door! Stretching his wings out behind him, he shook them as best he could and kept a hand on the wall for support just in case.

Since he was still wet, he cracked the door open just a bit and called, “I need another towel!”

There was some scuffling and a soft bang, but a few minutes later, China's hand slipped through the crack. Hijikata was hiding behind the door so he wouldn't be seen and he took the offering as wordlessly as China gave it. Her hand vanished and he used his shoulder to slide the door shut again, glad he wasn't being tortured for existing.

But then the second he snapped the towel open, a cloud of flour plumed out and covered the entire front of him. His face, his chest, his legs, his dick – white with flour.

“Are you fuckin' kiddin' me!” Hijikata roared and heard hysterical and evil little girl laughter outside the door.

-o-O-o-

Three Days Later

-o-O-o-

“I'm gonna kill'em,” Hijikata seethed as he paced in a short line to reduce the likelihood that he'd fall.

Gintoki was on his side on his futon and picked his nose. “You're not gonna kill'em.”

“Oh, but I am! Gonna wring their dirty little necks!”

“I'd like to see you try. Ka-chan's neck will break your fingers and Pattsuan doesn't have a neck to wring.”

Hijikata stopped his jerky pacing to squint at the bastard. “Doesn't have a neck?”

Gintoki rolled his eyes and flopped from his side to his stomach, complaining, “Boring! The straight man is boring! Can't even make a brilliant glasses joke without the boring man not getting it! Where's my agent? I want out of this fic! It has turned into a bad comedy, I'm not getting paid enough for this!”

Hijikata was just about to stumble over and kick him, but stopped short, his face scrunching. “You're getting paid?”

“No! Which means I'm not getting paid enough! You don't laugh, you don't make jokes, you're just a shadow that haunts the doorways and a speed bump on the floor when you fall down! This is supposed to be a comedy! A _comedy!_ But all you do is frown and grumble and hit me! Herpes me! Herpes m-- ack!”

“Shuddap! We're focusin' on me right now, asshole! I'm the one that lost somethin' important!”

Gintoki had sat up and was rubbing his leg where Hijikata had kicked him, a strong pout making his cheeks puff. “It was just a stupid figurine, whazza big deal about that? No don't hit me again! Ahhh! Back away, back away! I will push you down!”

“It wasn't _just a figurine_ ,” Hijikata yelled, stomping after Gintoki as he crawled away. The only reason Gintoki was able to stay ahead of him was because Hijikata's walking ability was still, as always, less than predictable. “I'd had that one brought over _special!_ It was the only one I had here and now it's _broken_! Can your pea sized brain understand that? Broken!”

Gintoki hopped up to his feet and pranced off toward the far corner of the room. “How do you know they did it? It could have fallen over on its own! You do that, why can't your figurine?”

Hijikata's face went red. “I'm not a figurine! Inanimate objects don't just fall over for no reason! No! Someone pushed her!”

“There coulda been a breeze! We've had the windows open since it's so hot!”

“It wasn't the fuckin' wind! Why're you always talkin' about the goddamn wind? You were hearin' noises at the barracks and now you're tryin' to blame the murder of my figurine on it!” Hijikata blocked the door when Gintoki started to shuffled toward it. “You know somethin'.”

“I know nothing!”

“I bet it was you!”

“It wasn't me! Not this time!”

Hijikata paused and Gintoki's face dropped. “What d'ya mean _this time_?”

“Okay, okay, so funny story! You're gonna laugh! Or... not. Anyway! Yesterday – ah, you remember when your lunch disappeared? That... might not have been Kagura. It fits her M.O.! But I might have actually been the culprit. She'd eaten my lunch though! And I'd thought you'd already eaten yours, it was an honest mistake!”

Hijikata's brow was twitching and he said in a deadly calm voice, “I fought with that brat for an hour over that.”

“And it was very entertaining! You had a strong argument, you fought the good fight! I was rooting for you, you know!”

“Well, yeah! Of course ya would! You wanted me to blame the wrong person!”

“She ate my lunch, she was as good as guilty! I thought yours was mine!”

“You threw confetti on me after she tossed me!”

“Not my best use of confetti, I admit.” Gintoki's face went into a moue, but then he brightened up just as quickly. “But oi! Maybe Sadaharu knocked it over!”

“You want me to believe anythin' you say? You're probably lyin' again!”

“I never lied! You accused Kagura right away and I just didn't do anything to change your mind! That isn't a crime!”

“C'mere so I can smack you!”

“No! You c'mere so I can smack _you!_ ”

“I ain't movin' from this door! You'll just run away!”

“Maybe I'd be runnin' 'cause I have to take a massive piss, haah?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Hijikata growled, “Back to the point! My figurine is broken!”

“Let's be real here, you probably have, like, eight more back at the barracks.”

Hijikata's head snapped up and he snarled, “This was a limited edition!”

“Which you still probably have, like, eight more of at the barracks.”

“I hate you.”

“Am I right or am I right? Of course Gin-chan is right! You're making a big fuss over nothing!”

“It's not nothing! That was my only special belonging here and it's broken!”

Gintoki's wings furled inward more toward his body. “I don't know what happened to it. But things haven't been all bad for you here! You've been very productive and you're never bored!”

That was... actually true.It wasn't terrible staying at Gintoki's apartment, he had to admit, however grudgingly. They weren't so cramped, there was more room to roam, he could use Gintoki's desk to do all his daily paperwork that Zaki brought over for him. And ever since the whole flour incident, Gintoki had talked to his kids and things had gotten better. There were still some fights and strange occurrences, but it was tolerable at least, like, he didn't feel like his life was in danger if he let his guard down for a second.

“Wanna go to the pond today?” Gintoki asked. “We haven't gone since it rained it it has been really nice out, I'm sure everything is dry enough.”

“Yeah.” Hijikata sighed. “Might be good to get out for awhile.”

“Finally, the permy creature comes up with a semi-decent idea.”

Hijikata moved aside and Gintoki ran out of the room, heading for the bathroom. Guess he hadn't been kidding about needing to piss, imagine that. He went over to Gintoki's desk where his broken Tomoe-chan lay on a hand towel he'd grabbed from the kitchenette after he'd found her cold and abandoned on the floor. Gintoki had gotten up around noon and changed, but remained lounging in his room and that was when Hijikata had stormed in on him since the kids were out with the dog. Hijikata wrapped her up gently and put her in a drawer to keep her safe while they were gone, then went and waited by the door. All the stuff they needed was already packed in the car, except the two medium sized blankets they'd use to cover their wings up when they went down the stairs.

“Lemme leave a note for the kids,” Gintoki said and disappeared toward the kitchenette. He wasn't gone long before he was back and grabbing a blanket to wrap around himself. “Let's go!”

Hijikata took his own towel and together they stole their way down the stairs to the car. It was more practiced this time around as they piled in and Gintoki grabbed Hijikata's wing to hold it back. They both hissed at how hot the car was, but Hijikata started it up and blasted the AC. That was one of the biggest things he missed about the barracks, the blessed air conditioning to fight off this heat. The Yorozuya didn't have an air conditioner and the trio typically fought over one small little fan to keep them cool.

The drive to the pond was mostly quiet and when they got there, Gintoki did a mad dash to the water. He didn't do one of his dives, he instead tripped taking his boot off and belly flopped in the shallow water with the most high pitched scream a man could ever produce. Snorting, Hijikata followed at a slower pace, well aware of what happened the last time they were there. Not one of his finest moments, he'd admit, but things had gotten better since then, at least. He worked with his wings more and he was hesitant to say his walking was getting a little smoother, less jerky, Gintoki had even commented on it the day before.

Hijikata got into the water and did his usual exercises, not really thinking about anything, just concentrating on the task. He went deeper into the water than usual, but stayed on his feet since he still had a vision of himself drowning if he tried to swim. Like, he could just _see_ his wings jerking and freaking out if he went under and tried to resurface, but couldn't. Gintoki stayed mostly in the deeper water and did his doggy paddling thing he'd pretty much mastered with wings. He splashed around frequently, but Hijikata didn't pay him too much mind simply because he was distracting to his own exercises.

“It's hot,” Gintoki whined at least half an hour later. Hijikata looked over, about to reply, but had to slap a hand over his mouth to stop any sound from coming out. “Hah? What's wrong with you?” Gintoki swam over, then stood when he was in front of Hijikata. Grabbing his wrist, he tried pulling his hand away, his brows scrunched in determination. “You're making a weird face! Are you constipated? Speak to me!”

When Gintoki wrangled Hijikata's hand away and the moment he did, the roughest laughter came pouring out of Hijikata's mouth. He was still trying to fight it back, so it sounded strangled, like a fucking saw grinding against wood, but it found its way out of him.

“Ha – haa! Hahaa – y-you l-look – hahaha!”

“I look what?” Gintoki gave him a small shake. “Are you delirious? Has the heat gotten to you? You're laughing! But this is very strange laughter! Oogushi-kun! How many of me do you see?”

“N-no! Haaa! Sun – fuck! You're red! S-sunburn!”

Gintoki went still, his face blank, then he _slowly_ looked down at his reflection... and screamed, “Sunscreen! We forgot the sunscreen!”

He was still screaming as he scrambled out of the water and sprinted for the car. Hijikata was still laughing watching him, knowing he wouldn't find any sunscreen anywhere in the car, they hadn't packed any. His laughter died down pretty quick, he wasn't the type to laugh for long, but damn! Gintoki looked like a fucking lobster! His whole face was bright red, even his neck, and especially his ear tips and his nose. He looked fucking ridiculous!

When Hijikata managed to get to the car, he followed Gintoki's grumblings – and the white feathers he could see over top the hood – to the other side of it where the idiot was sitting on a blanket. He'd found out that sitting there like that, if he lifted his wing a certain way, it created a large shadow that blocked the sun from him. Hijikata sat down on the blanket next to him, leeching off Gintoki's self-made shade, and stared.

“We shoulda brought sunscreen,” Gintoki muttered forlornly. “Stop staring.”

Hijikata blinked and rubbed at his lips when they started to crumple. “Y-yeah, we shoulda brought sunscreen.”

“This is going to hurt me for days.”

“And then you'll be all gross when you start to peel.”

“And it's so hot I'm sweating just sitting here.”

“You're also still wet, so it could just be water.”

“It's sweat.”

“Your perm is all frizzy.”

“Because of the humidity.”

“You look stupid.”

Gintoki gave him a weak glare. “At least my laugh doesn't sound like a dying animal.”

“It didn't sound like that!”

“It did! I thought you were having heat stroke!”

Hijikata's face flushed. “I don't laugh much, o-okay?”

“What a sad life that must be! You should really work on that.”

“You've gotta do somethin' about those damn kids of yours,” Hijikata said, changing the subject in the least most tactful way.

“Oh? But they haven't done anything wrong.”

“The _tricks_ , you dumbass.”

“Oi, oi! They're a lot better! Believe me, they could be worse, especially Kagura.”

“And my figurine?”

Gintoki looked at him and it took Hijikata aback for a second because the look wasn't entirely blank. “I don't know what happened to it, I really don't.” He looked down at his feet and his toes wriggled in the grass just off the edge of the blanket. “I can say that it's not likely it was Pattsuan, he has an appreciation for that otaku shit –”

“It's not shit, asshole!”

“And Ka-chan,” Gintoki went on like he hadn't heard, “if she'd wanted to break it, the thing wouldn't be broken in one spot, it'd be smashed to smithereens. We _have_ had the windows open a lot, not that it helps, and Sadaharu does bump into stuff often... I really can't say what happened to your thingie.”

Hijikata drew his knees closer to his chest, mumbling, “Her name's Tomoe-chan.”

There was a lull of silence before Gintoki perked up. “Oi! Why don't you hire me?”

“Hire you?”

“Uh-huh!” With a flap of his wings, Gintoki was on his feet and standing in front of Hijikata. His wings were raised enough to make a little dome around him and keep him out of the sun. “Hire me! I'm the Yorozuya! Hire me to crack the case of your broken figurine!”

“Umm....”

“Oh, c'mon! I'm available and I've never had a dissatisfied client!”

Hijikata's wings pinched in closer to himself. “And... your payment?”

“Dango! And sweets! And at least two parfaits!”

Hijikata sighed, what did he have to lose?

“Alright.”

Gintoki held out his hand. “Shake on it.”

Hijikata grabbed his hand and shook it, then yelped when he was suddenly hauled up to his feet. Gintoki was grinning and let go so he could push Hijikata off the blanket and start packing it up.

“We're not dry yet,” Hijikata said.

“We're not gonna get dry in this weather! The water will just turn to sweat and then we'll melt and die. I can't let that happen before I get my sweets.”

“Moron,” Hijikata whispered to himself and worked his way around to the driver's side of the car.

Gintoki ran back down to the pond and collected their things, then ran back and shoved himself into the back seat. He was screaming about how hot it was and how much he was burning, but Hijikata cranked up the air conditioning and he quieted. The ride back was comfortable, but getting out at the apartment after Hijikata parked was like stepping into a sauna. They wrapped the blankets around themselves and went up the stairs as quick as they could – Gintoki even stayed behind Hijikata to push him up faster so he didn't fall. It was a little cooler when they got inside, but not by much, so Gintoki went straight for the shower after getting some clean clothes.

Hijikata went to the desk and brought out his poor Tomoe-chan to look at her. Since he was alone, he started a hunt for some glue and actually found some shoved in the deepest corner of the lowest drawer of Gintoki's desk. It had some glitter on the outside of it and Hijikata wasn't sure he wanted to know where the glitter had come from or why it was there. With careful hands, he glued Tomoe-chan's leg back on and held it tight to make sure it dried in the right spot. The breeze coming in through the open window felt good and ruffled the feathers of his wings in a pleasant way.

“Much better!” Gintoki announced as he emerged from the bathroom, his skin still bright red and Hijikata had to chew on his lip. “You're up!”

“'Kay.”

After making sure the leg wasn't going to fall off, Hijikata stood and went to the bathroom. There was a clean towel already in there waiting for him and out of habit, he checked it for flour to be safe. It was flour free, so he stripped out of his clothes and started up the bath. He didn't burn very easily, so he was actually pretty okay, though he did know he'd absorbed some of the sun from the day. It'd only make him a deeper bronze color and he was grateful he didn't burn as fast as Gintoki did with his fair skin. He made his shower quick and it wasn't as hot as he usually had it, but that was to keep the bill down.

Stretching after he shut the water off, he got out and was pleased with himself for how good he'd gotten at it since he'd fallen. He dried and put his clothes back on and was actually really impressed on how much water hadn't gotten onto the floor. His wings weren't giving him as much problems and he knew that had a lot to do with it, but he was still proud of himself for the feat – however small it might be. He hung the towel up and returned to Gintoki's desk where a pile of paperwork still remained. Gintoki was out there on the sofa, but got up and approached the desk after Hijikata sat down.

“What is that smell?” Gintoki asked, his nose curling. He leaned in closer to Hijikata and took a sniff, then recoiled. “Damn Mayora! You reek!”

“My yukatas are all dirty,” he replied with a defensive flick of his wings.

“Have your legion bring you some new stuff! Your stink is probably seeping into my desk!”

“I ain't gonna bother them over clothes, they should be working.”

Gintoki rocked back onto his heels, his wings spreading out to keep him balanced at an angle that would make any man fall on their ass, and offered with a blank look, “I have a clean yukata... you want it?”

“What? No! I wasn't hinting at somethin' like that!”

Gintoki bounced on the balls of his feet, then spun on one leg until he was turned around and heading for his room. “No reason to fuss! It's not like I mind! A hero is always willing to clothe the stinky!”

Hijikata skeptically got up and trailed after him, but stopped when Gintoki tried to go through his partially open door. He rammed his wings into the frame on accident and it brought him to a jarring halt accompanied with a _thunk_.

“Ach – fuck!”

“Moron.”

“Shut up!”

Tucking his wings in, Gintoki passed through the door and went to his closet where he pulled out a white yukata. It was pristine and folded neatly, the swirls bright and unstained.

“I must have a thousand of these.”

“Huh?”

“I never seem to run out. Doesn't matter if they get torn or burnt or whatever, I always have more.”

“Probably because Megane does all your laundry.”

“Oi! I keep him in business when we're not in business with a client! There's always something for him to do around here!”

“Yeah, 'cause you're a slob.”

“That's offensive. Do you want clean clothes or not?”

Hijikata only had to take one breath and smell himself to reply, “I do, give it here.”

“It'll be faster if I help.”

Hijikata _almost_ argued, but thought better of it and bit his tongue instead. He opened his yukata and started shrugging out of it. Gintoki grabbed it and helped maneuver his wings out, though his right one didn't cooperate very well. Tossing the dirty one aside, Gintoki snapped open his clean one and started wrangling Hijikata's left wing in.

“Do you need fresh boxers, too?”

Hijikata's blush was deeper than Gintoki's sunburn. “No! Those are clean, just the yukata is dirty!”

Gintoki made a sound and took Hijikata's right wing in hand to fit it in through the slit that must have been pre-made. His long fingers were fairly gentle and never forced Hijikata's wing to do as it was supposed to, he just held it and waited until it was ready to comply. They stood in silence and when the yukata was on, Hijikata tied it off and it felt... weird. It was soft and comfortable, but weird. Probably because he knew it wasn't his own, but, yeah, weird.

And a tiny bit big.

“That good?”

Hijikata turned around and nodded. “It'll do for now.”

“Bastard, Gin-chan has the best clothes! Be more appreciative!”

“Gin-chan! We're back!” Megane called and Gintoki dashed out the door.

“Shinpachi! You need to go to the grocery!”

That was the last Hijikata heard before he stopped listening and retreated to the desk again. China glared at him where she was standing next to the dog and Hijikata just glared back as he sat down. He hoarded his Tomoe-chan closer to him to protect her and started getting ready to do more paperwork so he could feel useful for awhile.

Before he could even get to the first page, Megane had come up to him, saying, “Gin-chan said to get money from you for stuff.”

“Ah, yeah.” He opened the center drawer of the desk where he hid his wallet and pulled out some yen. “You know what to get?”

“He gave me a list.” Megane took the money and eyed the wallet. “I wouldn't hide that in the same spot... just to warn you.”

Hijikata nodded and that was it, Megane walked away. He was definitely the lesser of the two evils when it came to the kids, but Hijikata still didn't trust him.

-o-O-o-

Evening had begun when Megane finally got back carrying several bags on his arms. Gintoki went right to him and Hijikata ignored everything so he could keep focusing on what he had left of his paperwork. His hand was cramping, he had ink on his fingertips, but he was almost done! Zaki would be glad to have all this done when he came over the next day! Hijikata had texted him and told him to bring fresh clothes as well, he hadn't thought he'd run out as fast as he had. China had made a big fuss about him wearing Gintoki's yukata and Hijikata had flushed in the most embarrassing way, but she'd settled down when the heat had drained her.

It wasn't until Megane walked up to his desk that Hijikata lifted his head. His mouth was open to say something, ask what he wanted, but the words never came out because Megane was pulling bottles of mayonnaise out the bag and lining them up on the desk. There were five total and Hijikata was so grateful to see them – his last bottle had been stolen by a certain red haired delinquent and used as a projectile right out the window.

“What... are these for?”

Megane shrugged. “They were on the list, I assumed you'd asked for them.”

He walked away and Hijikata glanced at Gintoki, but he wasn't paying attention. He was stuffing his face full of all the sweets in front of him and watching the soap opera he'd turned on. His wings mirrored his mood as they twitched and shuddered and Gintoki kept making happy puttering sounds as he devoured. Reaching forward, Hijikata took one of the bottles and cracked it open. The smell made his stomach turn over in hunger and his eyes rolled back into his head as he brought it to his lips, intent on sucking the whole thing down.

-o-O-o-

A few hours later found China asleep, Megane gone, the dog laying around on the floor somewhere, and Hijikata with Gintoki in his room. The lights were out, the window was open to let in the cool night air, and they were supposed to be sleeping. They hadn't talked much up to this point, Gintoki had gone into a sort of coma after he'd eaten literally everything Megane had brought for him, so he'd become more useless than normal. But now, as Hijikata lay there, Gintoki's wings were restlessly moving, Gintoki himself wouldn't stop shifting, and that was definitely keeping Hijikata awake.

“Oi, are – you're awake?” There was no answer, just a shifting and an elongating shadow of wings raising. Grabbing his phone, which was above his head on the floor, Hijikata turned on the home screen and grunted. “Do you know what time it is, bastard?”

No response came, not a verbal one, just another rustling of feathers indicative of movement. Sighing, Hijikata reached out an arm, sliding his hand along the floor until he hit the lantern placed between them. He twisted the knob and blinked his eyes against the sudden light when it lit up. Gintoki's eyes gleamed and his wings were raised, going straight out behind him, but bent enough that they weren't fully open. With a sudden flap and a gust of wind, Gintoki was up and moving, wild-eyed and sleepless.

“The hell are you _doing_?”

“I don't know!”

“It's the middle of the night!”

“Not on the other side of the world!”

“Well, it is here!”

“So?”

Hijikata gargled as Gintoki wandered around the room with hops and quick steps, doing any manner of things with his wings. He could actually get himself to hover for several seconds and everything would move whenever he flapped them, even the lantern slid a couple inches to one side. Hijikata sat up and watched him, though he had to shield his eyes sometimes. He didn't know how long Gintoki kept it up until he was standing behind Hijikata and looming over him, wings arched over Hijikata's body. The pose was almost menacing and Hijikata sort of looked that way with how the light was creating shadows.

“I'm a creature of the night,” Gintoki said in an eery voice, his wings slowly spreading outward as he spoke

Hijikata sighed. “I did this. This is my fault. Gave you too much sugar before bed, you're like a fuckin' kid.”

Gintoki puttered and went over to the window. “It's finally cool out though. It doesn't feel like my skin has a heartbeat anymore.”

“Ugh.” Hijikata grabbed his cigarettes and hobbled up to join Gintoki by the window. “So now I've gotta deal with your hyper ass in the middle of the night. You're never gettin' sugar this late ever again.”

He had to push one of Gintoki's wings aside to make enough room for him and when he was lighting up, their wings were pressed together as shoulders would be. It didn't bother him any to be this close, Gintoki might have been hyper, but he was amicable. He was looking out over the city, his eyes flicking to a different thing every second.

“You don't get a view like this at the barracks.”

Hijikata let out a plume of smoke. “Nope.”

He wasn't expecting it when Gintoki stole his cigarette and took a drag before handing it back. “See? Staying here has its perks.”

Fumbling a little, Hijikata took the cigarette and used his thumb to flick some ash off out the window. “You say that a lot.”

“Well, staying here _does_ have its perks.”

Hijikata's wing suddenly jutted out into Gintoki's, but it didn't pus him away. Instead, Gintoki's wing absorbed the push and gently pushed back until the little fit was over and Gintoki didn't even act like anything was amiss about it. Inhaling another lungful, Hijikata let it out slowly and frowned.

“I guess s-staying here a little longer won't hurt.”

Gintoki raised a brow at him, but then a small smile curved his lips. “I don't think so, either.”

Cheeks red, Hijikata took a huge drag and noticed the way Gintoki's fingers were kind of twitching and how his foot was tapping against the ground. His wing kept Hijikata steady, but he could almost feel the way Gintoki was winding up for maybe another explosive dash around the room.

“You're not gonna lemme get much sleep tonight, are ya?”

Gintoki ducked his head and scratched the back of his neck. “It's not intentional!”

With a soft curse, Hijikata handed off the last of the cigarette to Gintoki and lit another one for himself – it was going to be a long night.

**To Be Continued**

 


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're idiots and they're being idiots together. Still no gay thoughts to be had, but they're getting there, too. Hello, my name is Aero and I'm getting so lazy with these summaries, I'm so terrible at them forgive me //rolls

Fanart By: [Nebulousmaddy](http://nebulousmaddy.tumblr.com/)

Hijikata yawned, it'd been a long night. Neither himself nor Gintoki had gotten much of any sleep with the sugar freak buzzing around and talking nonsense. Hijikata could only remember snippets of their conversations, but most of them were about dumb things, Gintoki type things like the wonders of strawberry milk. It was already moving on late afternoon and so far the day had been pretty uneventful.

Kondo and Zaki had come by earlier and Gintoki had given them the kitchen with the kotatsu to talk. It'd been nice and quiet in there and Gintoki had kept the kids preoccupied in the living room, so they hadn't been interrupted. It'd taken most of the morning to go over everything Kondo had brought and Hijikata had felt better afterward. Nothing big was going down, no raids were currently being organized, and while some people were slacking on their duties, the work was still getting done for the most part. His absence was notable, but things hadn't fallen apart yet, which was comforting.

When he'd gone back out into the living room, Gintoki had been on the sofa paying close attention to the weather girl he liked so much. She was saying something about horoscopes and Gintoki was screaming about how she was talking to him. It'd been easy for Hijikata to say goodbye to Kondo and Zaki and take the paperwork they'd given him to the desk without being noticed. Well, not noticed by Gintoki – so far as he could tell – but Megane had glanced his way and China had openly glared with a piece of sukonbu sticking from her mouth.

He'd started in on paperwork right away and the day had really just slipped right by him. The apartment was barely active, but it was obvious as to why – it was fucking hot. They had all the windows open, but even that wasn't enough. The one fan the Yorozuya had was on the table between the sofas and that thing was so old it looked like it was going to keel over any second. No one had the energy to do much of anything except sweat and even having the window right behind him open didn't help much. The air was stagnant and humid, there was barely a breeze coming through, so all any of them really did was sit and sweat.

It also made everyone cranky and Hijikata knew he was at the very top of that list. He was quick to snap at things as it was, add on oppressing heat and too many stacks of paperwork and he was a ticking time bomb. That was probably why they all gave him a wide berth, but at least they had halfway decent food. Since he was staying there, Kondo was supplying some money for food and utilities, which meant the cabinets were stocked and the fridge was full. Apparently that was a huge thing with the Yorozuya and sometimes one of the kids or Gintoki would walk into the kitchen and open things just to scream about all the food in there.

Gintoki's screeches were the loudest and easiest to hear, though it was interesting that even if there was plenty of food, they all still tried to ration it as best they could. China ate everything in sight, but only what was laid out for the meal, which was actually a lot. They usually had a full pot of something or at least plates laden extravagantly for each person with extras to spare. Sometimes Gintoki or Megane would fight China for more of their favorite morsels, but mostly she was able to get away with inhaling it all.

The TV was on, China was hanging off one of the sofas, Megane was off somewhere else in the apartment maybe cleaning, and Gintoki was staring fixedly at the TV. He was clad in his yukata instead of his black outfit, probably because it was more airy in a yukata. Hijikata had been supplied with fresh clothes, so he no longer required any of Gintoki's and he was glad he'd changed out of it before Zaki and Kondo had shown up. It'd been embarrassing to be caught wearing Gintoki's clothes, he didn't know what they'd think and didn't even want to consider the possibilities if Sougo ever caught wind of it.

“Gin-san, we need to go through the mail, it's really piling up.”

“Most of it's junk.”

“We still need to go through it.”

Gintoki hissed and curled his wings around himself so that they were hiding him. “Gin-san isn't here right now! Please leave a message or a sacrifice and he'll get back to you as soon as he can!”

Megane dumped a whole box full of letters onto the table. “We're going through these! We have the time and we can't let them pile up anymore!”

“I can't hear you,” Gintoki sang from the dome of his wings.

“Oi! I at least waited until Ketsuno Ana was done!”

He pushed at Gintoki's wings and peeked through his longer feathers and that was where Hijikata tuned out. He knew they'd get into some kind of skirmish and it was hard to say whether Gintoki would end up sorting through the mail or not. This was a domestic that didn't have anything to do with Hijikata and he wasn't going to unnecessarily involve himself. He'd only intervene if they were breaking any laws, which, amazingly, none of them had yet. He focused on his paperwork and considered lighting up a cigarette, but decided he'd wait and use it as a reward after he got more work done.

The two _had_ ended up fighting and the result found Gintoki grumpily and moodily flipping through letters and postcards. Apparently, slapping Gintoki's lobster red skin was an excellent way to get him to do things, it also made him let out blood curdling screams. At the very least, if anything could be said of Gintoki, he had the highest pitched screams of any man – or woman, honestly – Hijikata had ever known. He'd _almost_ lost it, he'd _almost_ snapped at all of them – Gintoki for being so annoying, Megane for instigating the noise, and China for just being present. He had to puncture a hole in his tongue with his tooth, but he'd managed to keep quiet. His forced patience had been rewarded since neither Gintoki nor Megane had the energy to squabble too much in the heat.

Hijikata zoned back out and used the back of his hand to wipe some sweat from his brow. The sun wasn't coming directly through the window behind him and if it was, he'd have snapped at all of them for breathing. He liked warmth, he liked heat, he hated the cold, but this kind of weather was so hot it sucked the life right out of him. There were moments that the heat was all he could focus on and he wanted to throw something, but just the _thought_ of doing anything strenuous made him sweat more. He wanted to get up and get some water, too, but since everyone in the fucking apartment was in the same room as him, he didn't want to risk making a fool of himself trying to walk. With his luck, he'd slip on his own sweat or something and have to do the crawl of shame to the kitchen.

“Coupons!” Gintoki screeched so loud Hijikata's hand jolted, creating an unsightly streak of black ink where it didn't belong. He glared at Gintoki, but the look was lost on him because he was too busy jumping up and down on the sofa like a child. “Coupons, coupons, coupons! We got coupons! Look!” He shoved them in Megane's face. “ _Coupons!_ Two of them! A discount and a free dessert, this is meant to be! Take them! Go! Get something with the discount and bring me a free parfait!”

“But –”

“Just do it!”

China ran up behind Gintoki and smooshed her face between his wings. “Can I take Sadaharu?”

“ _Please_ take the dog, he's getting fat.”

The dog in question rolled onto his side and made a really sluggish, “Arf,” noise. The animal had been panting pathetically all day and had barely moved except to eat a ridiculous amount of dog food. It took all three of them to get the dog up and moving and Gintoki shooed them out the door to get his parfait. When he reentered the room, Hijikata didn't look up from the report in front of him, but he could _feel_ the man buzzing with excitement and hear the hop in his step as he walked.

“I have words to speak at you!”

“I'm busy.”

“This won't take long! You hired me for this!”

That got Hijikata to look up and squint as he gingerly put his pen in its holder. “You have my attention.”

Gintoki stood before the desk, his wings fanned out half-mast to keep him cooler. “It's a good thing you chose the Yorozuya, you get the best service for a good price!”

“Just spit it out already!”

“Right, so, after interviewing the possible suspects,” Gintoki pulled out a little notebook from the tie of his yukata, “I've gathered clues on the case of the broken thingie.”

Hijikata leaned back and decided to humor him. “Good, I better get my money's worth. But it's not a thingie, it's a Tomoe-chan.”

“Uh-huh, like I said, the thingie. Now! After going over all the details, I've deduced that it wasn't me,” he lowered the notebook and looked at Hijikata, “really, it wasn't. If I was going to get at you, I'd go for something more... conniving and brilliant than that.”

Hijikata pulled out a cigarette and lit up. “That doesn't mean you didn't do it on accident.”

“I didn't! Or I would have at least tried to fix it myself! I didn't even know it was broken until you stormed in wiping tears from your eyes!”

“There were no tears in my eyes!”

“It was actually beautiful the way you tried to hide them.”

“I wasn't cryin', bastard!”

Gintoki smirked. “Whatever you say.... Anyway! I interviewed the kids separately and they're both clean.”

“No way! There's just no way – you! You're protecting them!”

“I'm not! I'm – oi! Use a damn ashtray, that's a nice desk!”

“This desk is garbage!”

Gintoki gasped and grabbed the ashtray off the table between the sofas. “How dare you! That desk is perfect!”

“It's chipped and stained!”

“That's what makes it perfect!”

Hijikata flicked the ash into the tray after Gintoki set it down. “Stop tryin' to distract me! You're protectin' those kids!”

“Wrong! Pattsuan is an Otaku, he would never mess with another man's, ah, _thingie_.”

“D-don't,” Hijikata coughed, choking on a lungful of smoke, “don't say it like t-that, you moron!”

Gintoki laughed and his wings fluffed up closer to his body for a moment before fanning back out. “You know it's true! And Ka-chan, it wasn't her.”

“How the hell do you know?”

“Because she'd have confessed by now, she wouldn't miss a chance to rub this in your face. May I see the thingie in question?”

Hijikata pulled her out of the drawer and set her down carefully. “Fixed her with some glue.”

“So at least she was fixable.” Gintoki came closer, staring not at the figurine, but at Hijikata. His shoulders pinched inward, his wings mirroring the movement, expecting Gintoki to strike out at any moment. An arm slid around his figurine in case it was the target and after that, he held completely still, wary. “This isn't fair.”

“What isn't?” Hijikata asked slowly, eying Gintoki up and down.

Gintoki poked Hijikata's cheek. “You're tan. You got tan. And me? I burned. The hero isn't supposed to burn.”

It was true – the burn part, not the hero part. Gintoki's face was still red, but not as red as the day before. He hadn't started peeling or anything and since he smelled of strawberries more so than usual, Hijikata guessed he was using some kind of scented lotion on himself. His lips were chapped, though Hijikata only noticed because it looked weird since they were usually fuller.

Hijikata smacked his hand away. “Not my fault you're fair skinned! Get to the point!”

“Fine, fine! So, I've gone over this stuff several times and it turns out, the only person I haven't interviewed,” Gintoki slowly leaned closer, his wings opening farther and curving both forward and out, “is you.”

“Why the hell would I break my own figurine, then hire you?” Hijikata stubbed out his cigarette and glared. “You think I was lookin' for an excuse to buy you sweets?”

“Maybe.” Gintoki jotted stuff down in his stupid little notebook, there was sweat speckling his brow and some of his bangs were sticking to it. “Gin-san is very handsome, a lot of people wanna buy him sweets.”

“That's disgustin'!”

Gintoki pouted and his wings twitched back toward his body as if they were offended. “Meanie! Answer this, asshole! Where were you before the incident?”

“Restroom! I went to the toilet and when I came back she was on the floor!”

“Number one or number two?”

“What're you talkin' about?”

Gintoki was writing. “You went to the toilet, was it for number one or number two?” He paused and peered over the notebook with a suspicious squint. “Or was it number three?”

“N-number _what_? How the fuck is this relevant?”

“I dunno! Anything could help!”

“What even is a n-number three?”

“You know,” Gintoki made a jacking off motion with his right hand, “number _three_.”

“N-no! F-fuck – never! Not h-here! G-gross!”

Gintoki laughed so hard his wings shook and preened. “Kidding! Well, that _is_ what a number three is, but god! Your face! You look devastated!”

“S-shut up! Make yourself u-useful and go get me some water!”

“ _Ooo_!” Gintoki's mouth dropped open and his wings slumped. “Water sounds _good_.”

“Then go get me some.”

Setting his notebook down, Gintoki turned, making a show of keeping his wing pulled in so it came nowhere near Tomoe-chan, and went out to the kitchen. Hijikata watched him go and once he was out of sight, his gaze went straight down to the notebook. He'd caught a little glimpse of it earlier when Gintoki had flipped through the pages opening it and he just wanted to be sure he wasn't seeing things. The notebook itself was rather small, the perfect size to fit in one of Gintoki's hands, and Hijikata didn't have a desire to read things other people weren't meant to see, he was just interested in Gintoki's handwriting. He lifted the notebook for a moment since it was face down and put it right back down after he'd seen what he wanted.

Gintoki's handwriting was infantile. It was large and clumsy and he'd seen smudges where he'd accidentally smeared the lead. His lines hadn't been straight or smooth, overall, it was messy and... how old was Gintoki even? To write like _that_ , Hijikata would have thought China or someone even younger had written in the notebook if he hadn't seen Gintoki do it. Maybe it was a ruse? He... really didn't think so, at least, it was highly unlikely.

“We have ice!” Gintoki announced, coming back in with a glass in each hand. “Almost spilled it walking through the door, got my wings jammed.”

“Just bring the water.”

The glass was already sweating with a sheen of condensation when he took it, but that didn't matter to him one bit. He chugged half of it down and let out a slow sigh through his nose. He already felt _slightly_ less cranky and a headache that had been subtly forming between his eyes ebbed a little, he couldn't only be grateful for that. The very last thing he needed on top of everything else including the scorching heat was a headache that could potentially turn into a migraine.

“Hasn't your ass fallen asleep yet?”

Both of Hijikata's wings jerked inward with him telling them to. “What?”

Gintoki was rocking back and forth on his feet, toes to heel, and he was using his wings to keep himself balanced. Hijikata didn't want to say he was envious of such a stupid thing, but... sadly, pathetically, he _was_.

“Your ass,” Gintoki said and the ice in his glass clinked, “is it asleep yet? That chair is comfortable for short periods, but after awhile my ass always falls asleep so I sometimes sit on a pillow.”

“You have a pillow for this chair?” Gintoki nodded and Hijikata blurted, “Give it to me! Hand it over! Circulation cut off hours ago, I can't feel a damn thing!”

He hadn't wanted to mention his numb ass, that wasn't something any sane person just brought up in conversation, especially in the Yorozuya headquarters. But the fact remained, his ass was numb and he'd been uncomfortable for awhile, he hadn't even thought of using a pillow. Gintoki laughed and walked off, disappearing into the hall. He heard a sliding door open and Hijikata assumed Gintoki was rummaging around in the closet thing China slept in. The natural perm returned with pillow in hand and Hijikata stiffly got to his feet. He braced a hand on the desk and winced as he stood, he was to that point of uncomfortable where any movement hurt.

“You haven't farted all over it, have you?” Hijikata asked as Gintoki fitted the pillow in place.

“Not telling! Doesn't matter anyway since Shinpachi has washed it.”

Hijikata snorted and stretched, his ass tingling as the blood started to circulate again. It felt good to stand and he chanced walking over to the window so he could lean against the sill and look out. People were milling about in the street, going about their daily lives, and for the second time in the past few minutes, he was envious again. What he wouldn't give to be out there patrolling clad in his uniform and heading his faction of the Shinsengumi. It was cruel being cooped up, but he couldn't dwell on it, he didn't want to have another little _moment_ like he'd had before. He was stronger than that, but there was no way to properly express just how frustrating this whole thing was for him or how useless he felt.

“I miss Pachinko,” Gintoki said, coming up beside him, “and going out. The pond is great, but there's nothing like being in Edo.”

Hijikata hummed in agreement and sipped his drink, savoring the blessed water on his tongue before swallowing. “Figures you'd miss gambling money you don't have.”

“Oi, oi!” His wing extended out and bumped Hijikata lightly. “I resent that! I've won a lot of things gambling! Got some tickets to a buffet once so I took the kids, but we got kicked out and banned after Kagura ate everything.”

“I'm not surprised at all.”

Hijikata set his glass on the desk and picked up his cigarettes so he could light another one. Gintoki was quiet and watching what was going on below and Hijikata leaned against the frame as he took a drag.

“You know, I really didn't think you smoked.”

“Hm? Oh, that. I don't, not really. I do from time to time, I kinda like the taste, but I'm not a chain smoker like you.” The sound of the front door opening had Gintoki running off, yelling, “Parfait!”

Hijikata just snorted and finished off his cigarette – what a moron.

A few hours later and the sun was down and Hijikata had finished maybe half the paperwork he'd gotten. Megane had left and Gintoki was on the sofa with his eyes glued to the TV. Hijikata rubbed his own eyes and yawned, a long day in the heat and not getting a good night's sleep had done him in even without an adventure out to the pond. Getting up, he stretched and felt pretty good, thanks to the pillow his ass didn't hurt as much. They'd had a modest stew for dinner and he had to hand it to Megane, he wasn't a terrible cook by any means.

“Where's your girl?”

Gintoki didn't look away from the TV and raised his right wing, unfurling it enough to show off where China was tucked neatly against his side. She was asleep and her hair wasn't up, instead resting loose and slightly gnarled about her shoulders. Gintoki's arm was wrapped around her and she was nestled right in the crook of his body, his wing was able to cover her entirely.

“She burrowed in awhile ago, don't know when she fell asleep.”

His wing closed back around her, concealing her again, and Hijikata figured it was a lot like a blanket. The feathers were excellent insulators, so keeping heat in was easy, but also very annoying during the daytime with how hot it was.

“Mm, well, I'm gonna get ready for bed.”

He didn't get more than two steps before Gintoki was calling almost reluctantly, “Wait.”

“What?” Hijikata carefully turned, he would not fall or trip, dammit!

“I can't move.”

“Okay?” Gintoki looked at him and pouted. “I can't read your dumb face, you've gotta tell me what you want or I'm gonna leave.”

“She's on my arm, I can't move.”

“And you want me to...?”

“Help me, you know, move her. I don't wanna wake her.”

Hijikata had to clutch the back of the sofa as his left wing twitched. “You can't really expect me to p-pick her up or somethin'.”

“Just get over here and help me!” Gintoki demanded in a harsh whisper. “At least help me get my arm back!”

“You realize that if she wakes up she's gonna kill me, right?”

“So don't wake her up! You're an officer of the law and I'm a citizen in need, _help me!_ I'm about to piss myself!”

“Ugh, that's disgusting! If she hits me, it's seppuku for you!”

“I'll let you stab me yourself, at least then I won't have to piss anymore!”

Nose curling, Hijikata walked around the sofa until he was in front of them. “Okay just – what do I do?”

Gintoki's wing lifted and he motioned to China with his free hand. “Move her, duh!”

“I ain't pickin' her up!”

“Shh! Voice! This'll be pointless if you wake her before you move her! Just lean her off my arm and hold her there until I can get her.”

Hijikata grit his teeth and felt suddenly nervous, he didn't want to get involved in this. She was going to wake up and kill him for even standing so close, she couldn't even look at him without glaring. It didn't help that he glared right back, but that was beside the point. Gintoki was waiting for him and it was awkward with the dumb perm staring at him, so he wanted to get this done fast. Reaching out, he pushed at China's shoulder and freaked out when she slid to the left away from Gintoki. He had to grab both of her shoulders and new sweat formed on his brow when her head rolled, he thought for sure she was going to wake. But instead, she let out a snore and kept sleeping while Gintoki wriggled his arm out from behind her.

“Hurry up,” Hijikata hissed, his wings spread straight out behind him and quivering with tension.

“I'm trying! Not so easy when I can't feel the damn thing!”

Gintoki got his arm free and when he had his arm around China in a secured way, Hijikata let go and threw his arms up like he'd been burned. Gintoki snorted at him and pulled China to him, getting an arm under legs so he could pick her up as he stood. He didn't struggle standing at all, it just took a couple small pumps of his wings to get to his feet and it didn't look like he had to use his legs much to stand.

 _Asshole_ , Hijikata thought as Gintoki cradled China to him and walked off toward that closet thing where she slept. Hijikata watched him step over the dog's tail before disappearing and only then did he go to Gintoki's room. It still felt strange to be sleeping someplace other than his own room at the barracks, but having the window open helped a lot. It kept things cooler and let in the sounds of Edo, something he hadn't thought he'd like as much as he did. He went to that window and lit up a cigarette, deciding on one more before bed and he fully intended on getting a restful sleep.

“Thanks for that,” Gintoki said when he came in and flopped onto his futon.

“Just don't ask me to do it again.”

“I'll avoid it if I can.” Gintoki nuzzled his face against his pillow and closed his eyes. “Oi, let's go out tomorrow, for a walk or something.”

“A walk?” Hijikata deadpanned. “You realize why that's ridiculous, right? Because I _can't_ walk.”

“It'll be good practice! I like the pond just fine, but,” he yawned, “walking around in a new area sounds kinda nice. It's better than being stuck here again and it's all reruns of my soaps tomorrow.”

“I'll think about it.”

Gintoki's wings spread out and relaxed, the feathers looking smooth and well kempt. “'Kay.”

He was asleep by the time Hijikata blew out his last cloud of smoke.

-o-O-o-

Come morning, Hijikata smacked Gintoki awake early. It only took one hit on his red skin that was starting to peel and Gintoki woke with a scream.

“Up!”

“I hate you, you big jerk!”

“Up!” Hijikata repeated, standing back up so he could start taking his yukata off to change into a fresh one. “Decided going out sounds nice.”

“But it's so early,” Gintoki groaned into his pillow.

“Surely even a moron like you can understand why it's better to go out before the heat of the day.”

Gintoki groaned and raised his head, his permy hair skewed and fluffed up. “I still hate you.”

“That's fine, just hurry up.”

Grumbling, Gintoki roused himself and got up only to help Hijikata remove his yukata and put on his fresh one. Ever since he'd started helping, Gintoki hadn't stopped touching, he looked for any excuse he could find. He was like a child! All touch, touch and grabby hands, it was so annoying! It was obvious how fascinated with their wings he was and Hijikata only tolerated it because it really was a lot easier doing things with Gintoki's help, though, he wouldn't admit as much. Gintoki himself changed into his black outfit and the slits on the back of his shirt went from hem to hem, but even that almost wasn't big enough to fit his wings through. Putting on clothes was harder than taking them off and the first wing was easiest compared to the second. Gintoki struggled more than Hijikata and he hadn't even known it until he saw just how cramped and bent Gintoki had to make his wing to fit it through the slit. It looked both unnatural and uncomfortable the way Gintoki's shoulder jutted and how his torso twisted to make it work.

“H-hold on,” Hijikata said, taking hold of the collar of the shirt on the back and shooing Gintoki's hand away.

He held the shirt open to make the slit easier to get to and then he touched Gintoki's wing. He usually avoided any touching, but if Gintoki was going to help him, he wasn't going to let the bastard get away with being the only one to do so. The feathers were soft and warm under his hand and standing this close he could actually see the little lightning fissures of quicksilver along the center of each feather. He'd noticed it before, but hadn't really thought much of it and he still didn't know what to think of it. He brushed his thumb over one of Gintoki's primaries as he helped him fold the wing and he made sure to hold the shirt out at an angle. He felt the muscles in the wing bunch up and even though the bones felt thin, the muscles were strong and firm.

Gintoki grunted as his wing was pushed through the slit and once it was in, Hijikata had to take a step back to make room for it when it snapped outward. The muscles were like coiled springs and once they let loose, the force Gintoki could get behind it was... respectable. Had that wing hit Hijikata, he knew it'd feel worse than a sucker punch to the gut given the size and strength of the feathery appendage. It was something to consider and something he hadn't thought too much about before, it made him wonder about himself and how it'd be for him once he was able to control the damn things, if he ever got to that point.

“Thanks,” Gintoki's yawn made his jaw crack, “we takin' food with us?”

“I can't walk, bastard, we won't be gone for that long.”

Gintoki made an unhappy noise and shuffled off, making for the door. But he didn't pull his wings back in time and slammed them into the frame hard enough to make the whole thing rattle. Cussing, he folded them in until they were the shape of an upside down spade upon his back and went on his way. Hijikata had already made coffee and poured himself a cup, complete with some mayonnaise to enhance the taste. He had to hurry Gintoki along and shoved a strawberry milk into his chest to get him moving since he was still groggy and grumpy. His wings were ruffled just like his hair and it took close to twenty minutes to get the moron into the car so they could leave.

He dozed during the drive, but Hijikata didn't mind, it kept things quiet. He couldn't see Gintoki's face, he'd wrapped his wings around himself and was really just a ball of feathers back there with an arm coming out of it to hold Hijikata's wing for him. Hijikata drank his coffee and had smoked a cigarette before getting in the car so he wouldn't fill the cab with smoke. The air conditioning was on and letting the cold air out just for a smoke would have been a waste. He didn't know exactly where to drive to, so he went to the pond like usual, but drove a little farther passed it while still keeping it within his sights.

“Oi!” He swung an arm back and pushed on the feather cocoon. “We're here!”

Gintoki let go of his wing and emerged, that smell of strawberries clinging to him. He'd put on both lotion and sunscreen before they'd left and Hijikata didn't have it in himself to mention the spots of sunscreen he hadn't rubbed in all the way. Slowly, Gintoki unfurled himself and get out of the car where he opened an umbrella over his head.

“I'm not burning anymore,” he said by way of explanation.

Slowly, Hijikata closed the door behind him and stretched, actually looking forward to a walk despite his reservations. Just being outside was nice, though it was already warm and getting hotter the higher the sun rose. The air had that humid quality to it, so it felt like a weight all on its own. Still, noon was a ways off and until then, it was as cool as it was going to get. He moved his wings out and back in, testing them to see if they were at all cooperative and so far, he didn't have much of a problem with them.

“Let's go to those trees,” Gintoki said, pointing to an outcropping.

“Those are kinda far away.”

“All the more time to practice,” he replied, swirling the umbrella above his head.

Frowning, Hijikata gave in and patted himself to make sure he had both his cigarettes and his lighter. He'd already finished his coffee and he could think of no other reason to linger, so he started walking. Gintoki fell in beside him and didn't comment on the pace, they just walked, Gintoki in his boots and Hijikata in his sandals.

“I'm already sweating.”

Hijikata rolled his eyes. “Because you're out of shape.”

“That's a lie! Why do people always assume that just because I like sweets, I'm out of shape?”

“It's not that you like sweets, it's the _amount_ of sweets that you consume.”

“Still not out of shape.”

He had a point there, Hijikata had seen him just that morning and the muscles lining his body certainly didn't speak of weakness. Though, Gintoki had never been weak, not since they first met or any point thereafter.

“We'll both be in bad shape if we stay trapped with these stupid wings.”

“We still get exercise.”

“Not anywhere near what we – or at least _I_ got.”

“Mm... that's true, I guess. Nothing we can do about it though.”

“Don't remind me.” He pulled out a cigarette and lit the tip until it was cherry red. “Just shut up for awhile, I'm startin' to get the urge to hit you.”

Gintoki laughed dryly, but quieted and... they walked. Out in the open, Hijikata really didn't do too bad. He had his slip ups and moments where he almost tripped because his wings, one or both, threw him off. Gintoki was patient enough and at times would use the wing closest to Hijikata to help keep him balanced with little pushes or nudges. It worked out well that way and since Gintoki's wing was large enough to extend all the way around him, then he walked a lot better. He had Gintoki's shoulder on one side and the supportive nudges of a wing from the other side and without the fear of falling flat on his face, he just did _better_. They barely spoke and the trek was more of a meander, but it was comfortable enough, if a bit embarrassing.

When they _finally_ reached the trees, Gintoki said, “Let's rest here a bit.”

Hijikata gratefully fell to his ass in the shade of the trees, ready for a break. “Not for long, it'll probably take longer to go back.”

“Uh-huh,” Gintoki replied absently, but he wasn't sitting.

He knelt in front of Hijikata and took his hand to curl it around the handle of the umbrella. Hijikata asked what the hell he was doing, but Gintoki didn't answer, he was so distracted. He got up and shielded his eyes from the sun that was peeking through the branches and that was the moment Hijikata figured out what he was thinking.

“You're not serious, are you?”

“I rarely am about anything.”

“Don't be stupid! You're gonna break somethin'!”

Gintoki walked over to the nearest tree. “I might, yeah.”

“Oi! Moron! Stop – no, don't _climb!_ You're gonna fall!”

“That's the point!”

Hijikata was on his knees preparing to stand. “This isn't gonna end well for you! Only a fuckin' idiot would jump out of a tree! Come back here!”

“No!” Gintoki retorted and kept climbing, his wings adjusting every so often to help him keep his balance.

Hijikata kept yelling obscenities, but gave up when Gintoki ignored him. His brow ticked and he stood back up, ready to move once Gintoki fell and broke an arm or a leg or both. Gintoki kept going until he reached a thick lower branch over five meters off the ground. It was a large tree, the largest of the bunch, and to even get to it, Gintoki had to act like a fucking monkey. He grabbed onto the branch and shimmied out upside down, then flapped one wing to help him pull himself up onto the branch.

“Made it!” Gintoki announced, crouched on the branch with his wings low and spread out for balance.

“That wasn't the hard part!” Hijikata called and glared when Gintoki grinned at him. “There's still time to climb back down!”

“Oh, I'm comin' down, but I'm not climbin'!”

“I can't carry your ass back to that car!”

“You could always drive the car to me!”

“Arghh, not the point!”

“Shh! I'm concentrating!”

Gintoki was staring at the ground and rocked his shoulders side to side, assessing the jump. Hijikata wanted to find a rock and throw it at him for being so fucking stupid, he knew the guy was crazy, but this was psychotic. Before he could find a stone or think of something better to say, Gintoki jumped. Hijikata sucked in a breath and held it, sure that the moron would break his ribs and puncture some vital organ. The fall was high, but it was only enough time for Gintoki to flap his wings one time and the rush of wind nearly tore the umbrella out from Hijikata's stiff and white knuckled fingers.

“ _Oof!_ ”

He was dead.

Oh, god, he was dead.

The flap of his wings had slowed his fall, but he'd still landed on his front with his arms outstretched to soften the landing. So, he'd broken his arms and wrists if he wasn't dead.

“Ouch-ch-ch,” Gintoki hissed, raising his head before sitting up.

Not dead, then.

Hijikata marched right up to him and smacked him. “Are ya satisfied now, ya fuckin' natural perm _idiot?_ ”

Gintoki rubbed the spot Hijikata had hit and laughed. “Satisfied? Not yet, that's a lot harder than I thought it'd be.”

Hijikata smacked him again. “Get up! We're leavin'!”

Gintoki got up and brushed himself off – it might have been Hijikata's imagination, but it looked like he was surprised he was unharmed as much as Hijikata was. “Not leaving yet.”

“Yeah, we are! Let's go!”

“No,” Gintoki smirked and looked over at the tree, “I wanna try again.”

“You're... _why?_ ”

Gintoki laughed and his wings raised up and out as he moved toward the tree, replying, “If bumblebees can do it, why can't I?”

“That doesn't make sense!”

“Don't care! Step back! You're in my landing zone!”

“I hope you break somethin'!”

“No you don't!”

“Yes I do!”

All the same, Hijikata stepped back and angrily went to where he'd been before, which was well out of the way. He watched Gintoki climb the same way he had before and pull himself up on the branch after shimmying out on it. This time, he raised his wings higher once he was crouched and open them as much as he could without running into branches higher up. Space was limited where he was, but he was bound and determined to make it up. Hijikata bit his lower lip and chewed on it as he watched, he didn't like this.

Leaping out, Gintoki hovered for maybe an extra two seconds before falling and when he flapped his wing, the resultant gust felt stronger than the first one. However, despite that, the result was the same. Gintoki fell and couldn't keep his balance midair, but instead of landing his front, he landed on his ass with a heavy thud. It looked like it hurt, it _had to have_ , but Gintoki didn't let it show. It was strange that way, like he didn't feel anything at all, and he just got back onto his feet and tried again.

On the third attempt, Hijikata saw fit to sit down and at least try to enjoy the show. He'd yell things every so often, but Gintoki had a quick comeback and kept going. He watched Gintoki fall on his ass, his stomach, flat on his back, his side, his ass again, and once he landed on his feet, but he was so imbalanced that he fell heavily to his knees. Each attempt took its toll on him, he couldn't hide the sweat pouring down his face and neck, matting his hair, or the way he was panting after only a few jumps. Every time he climbed the tree, he did it slower than the time before, but still, none of it stopped him.

It wasn't until he landed on his front again that he raised his head, covered in sweat and now dirt, panting, “Okay, I think I'm done for the day.”

“Stupid,” was all Hijikata could think to say, he still didn't agree with any of this.

Gintoki stayed flat on his stomach with his wings motionless on either side of him and caught his breath. Hijikata wanted to hit him again, but knew that would accomplish nothing, the man was seriously the biggest moron. After about ten minutes, Hijikata stood up and stretched his legs, fingers itching to curl into a fist and hit something.

“I'm tellin' ya, our wings are too small for flight.”

“Still had to try something,” Gintoki said, folding his arms beneath his head and resting it on them. “It doesn't feel like they're strong enough. They might not be big enough for flight like you say, but these wings, they're like any other muscle, aren't they? The more you use them and get used to them, the stronger they'll get, right?”

“I dunno,” Hijikata nudged Gintoki in the shoulder with his foot, “s'not like we have anyone to ask.”

Gintoki chortled. “Clearly we're all birds!”

Hijikata didn't know if he wanted to broach into this, but already he was asking, “How do you figure?”

“Because of this!” Gintoki replied, scooping up some dirt into his fist and letting it sift out through the spaces between his fingers.

“Dirt...?”

“Dirt! And sand and rocks and grass!”

“Is this some circle of life shit?”

“In a way, I guess,” Gintoki conceded, he moved a little and quailed. His wings spread wide, arching upward and out in a way they didn't do when he was hunkering down to sleep. “Everything is made up of dust of the planets, so we can be anything we wanna be. We breathe the same air as those passing birds, fill our lungs with it, we're full of the universe.”

“Is this supposed to be one of those inspirational speeches you have sometimes?”

“Not at all! I don't know what's inspiring about being universe shit.”

“We just went from being birds to being universe shit....”

Gintoki sat up. “Told you, we can be anything we wanna be.”

“You hit your head, didn't you?”

“More than once, didn't you see?”

Hijikata sighed and held out a hand. “Let's go.”

“I'm gonna be trying this again, you know,” Gintoki said, taking the hand and hissing as he got to his feet.

“Yeah, I know.”

-o-O-o-

“Gin-chan! It's hot!” China cried.

“So go for a run, create your own wind.”

“That'll just make me hotter!”

“You won't be hot until your breasts come in.”

She tried to throw something at him, but instead just flopped down on her face groaning. Gintoki was on one sofa, China was on the other one with Megane lifeless next to her. They'd gotten back a couple hours ago and they'd both taken turns showering to get the sweat and grime off. The walk back to the car had taken twice as long as the walk to the trees, but neither of them had said anything about it. In fact, they'd barely talked at all – Hijikata had bitten his tongue before saying anything about how Gintoki's gait was uneven despite his efforts to make it appear normal.

Gintoki had changed into a yukata after his shower and there was a bruise peeking out on his collarbone, Hijikata had no doubt that there were plenty more where that came from. Hijikata was back to doing paperwork and Gintoki hadn't moved since he sat down on the sofa. The day had only gotten hotter and was hotter even than the day before. Every movement cost twice as much energy than normal and tensions were high, tempers ready to crack at any provocation.

“Gin-chan,” China muttered, her voice a feeble whispered plea.

Gintoki roused and sat up straighter – though, slowly, Hijikata noticed. “Sit up. No, little farther back... little more... good, stop.”

She was moved right next to Megane and Gintoki started fanning them both with his wings. He moved them slowly, pulling them back until they hit the sofa, then forward to create a cooling gust. The fan was on the table between them and was moving back and forth, to Gintoki, then to the kids. Hijikata had to put Tomoe-chan away, afraid that she'd get knocked over, and moved his papers so they wouldn't get blown away. The breeze was hitting him as well and it felt good, but it was literally so hot that it almost felt hard to breathe. His skin was sticky with sweat and he wasn't even doing anything except some paperwork, how shitty was that?

Gintoki's eyes were closed – he was red and peeling still – as he moved his wings and some sweat trickled down his temple and a long his cheek. He looked drained and exhausted and it wouldn't surprise Hijikata that being so active with his wings took up a lot of effort. As for Hijikata, his ability to concentrate was reduced to nothing and he was starting to get hungry. Hell, he was on the verge of fucking _starving_. They'd all snacked separately, but hadn't eaten a full meal because going into the kitchen was like stepping into a sauna and no one was willing to sacrifice themselves to that heat to cook something. No one had energy for anything, the Yorozuya didn't even have the capacity to complain about the heat!

None of them could live like this.

“Okay! I've had it!”

Three pairs of bleary eyes looked over toward him and he picked up his cellphone to call Zaki.

It rang three times before, “ _Fukuchou?_ ”

“Get a damn air conditioner over here right now! If you're not here in the next five minutes it's seppuku for you!”

Of course it took Zaki more than five minutes and longer than that to get the air conditioner itself installed, but the wait was worth it. They had it installed in the kitchen since there was no door, only a short curtain, and the air could spread into the living room easily and quickly. Hijikata gave Zaki fresh orders after the air conditioner was put in and by that time everyone was in the kitchen and there was new life in each one of them, Hijikata included.

They all crowded around the air conditioner and after awhile, they figured out that if Gintoki sat in the back and curved his wings around all of them, it created a cocoon of cold air. Hijikata didn't care that he had to sit so close to them, he just wanted to cool off even if it meant shoving China around. It was a mash of wings and limbs, there was pushing and hitting, but once they settled, none of them moved. Hijikata closed his eyes and sighed, he had no idea how long they all sat there in their cold cocoon, but it felt fantastic. His wings were tight against his back and he sat beside Gintoki, but it was an odd kind of... nice. Only because of the cold air, of course.

A stomach growled.

Three stomachs snarled in answer.

“I'll get something started,” Megane said, he was smooshed in front of China on Gintoki's other side.

“I want some sukonbu.”

Both kids got up and Gintoki folded his wing to let them pass. Hijikata felt really weird still sitting beside Gintoki, so he got up too and thought about going back to the desk to do some more work. All the windows were closed now and they'd sat long enough that the living room was probably cooler and getting colder.

“Oi,” Hijikata grunted, tapping on the wing Gintoki had had behind him until it folded out of his way.

Once Hijikata stepped passed, Gintoki himself moved, but only to lay down. He grabbed one of the cushions from the table and used it as a pillow, spreading himself out so that he was facing the air conditioner with his wings atop his back like a shell. Hijikata didn't think anything of it and left the kitchen to the Yorozuya. He went into Gintoki's room and closed the door so he could open the window and have a cigarette without the risk of losing any cold air. It was a quick smoke, but a needed one, and it felt good going back into the living room to a burst of coolness.

Before sitting down at the desk, he returned to the kitchen, wanting some water for his dry throat. Smoking dried it out and he'd lost a lot of hydration from sweating so much, he needed water or he'd just get a headache. Gintoki looked to be asleep and Hijikata hated that he got nervous having to go near the kids, it was an unwanted stress. He'd only just grabbed a glass when there was a thud followed by a rattling sound.

Hijikata looked over his shoulder and lowered his wing to see the source of the noise. Everything was still until Gintoki's right wing suddenly jutted out, ramming into the storage door next to him, and quivered midair before slowly curling back in. It was moving in a jerky motion, it wasn't smooth or all that coordinated, which was weird for Gintoki. China had gone quiet and so had Megane, but it was China that moved first and went over to him to kneel down next to where he was on the floor. She was by his head to avoid his wings and patted Gintoki's back between his shoulders, a piece of sukonbu sticking out of her mouth. Hijikata couldn't see his face since it was turned away, but his wing kept twitching and upon closer inspection, so was his body.

“What's with the moron?”

Megane hesitated before going back to making dinner and replied quietly, “He has trouble sleeping sometimes. We found out he quiets down if one or both of us sit with him for awhile.” He pushed his glasses up higher on his nose. “I don't think he knows we do it. It's not like we mind... I'm just glad we found a way to help.”

“And,” Hijikata licked his lips, unsure, “c-close proximity does that?”

“We think so. He settles down, anyway.”

Hijikata grunted and got his water before hightailing it out of there back to the desk, Gintoki would be fine with Chi... Kagura and Shinpachi.

**To Be Continued**

 


	11. This Fic is Going to Start Getting Titles Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding

Noon had come and gone and there was still no sign of Gintoki. Shinpachi had come by earlier to get Kagura for a job, but there hadn't been a peep from the natural perm. Right at twelve-thirty, Hijikata got up from the desk and walked over to Gintoki's closed door. He was pretty steady on his feet and didn't trip on his way over, so it was almost a feat reaching the door without a problem. Even more amazing was that he'd been doing paperwork all morning and his ass wasn't asleep, he really was grateful for that dumb cushion. Opening up the door, he found Gintoki still sprawled out on his stomach, he hadn't moved since Hijikata had left him earlier.

“Oi,” he walked in and nudged Gintoki's leg with his foot, “get up.”

Gintoki groaned. “No, I'm comfy.”

“There's food out there.”

“Not hungry.”

“Don't lie, of course you are.”

“Not right now.”

Hijikata rolled his eyes and prodded at Gintoki's leg with a foot. “Don't gimme that shit, get up already.”

“Nnn... fine. Leave, I'll be out in a few.”

“No, I'm gonna help.”

Gintoki turned his head and glared grumpily up at him with one eye. “I don't need it.”

“Don't care,” he crossed his arms and glared right back, “move your ass, c'mon.”

They stared at each other until Gintoki blinked and gave up. Good thing, too, because Hijikata had been only a few seconds away from kicking the bastard until he got his shit together. Both of Gintoki's wings twitched and slowly rose up, making Hijikata take a step back so he was out of the way. But right away, the moment Gintoki moved, Hijikata knew something wasn't right. The way Gintoki was getting up was so wrong and so jerky – Hijikata wanted to kick him for an entirely different reason now.

“You hurt somethin'.”

“What?” Gintoki laughed and got to his knees. “No, no, it's just early!”

“Bullshit. Lie again and I'll punch you right in the stomach.”

“No!” Gintoki screeched, getting the rest of the way to his feet. “Don't do that!”

“That's what I thought, you hurt yourself yesterday, didn't you?”

His bottom lip pouted out. “Not much....”

“Quit stallin', lemme see.”

Gintoki fidgeted a little, but conceded by opening up his yukata and Hijikata sucked in a silent breath. There were bruises everywhere, black, blue, purple, yellow, all coloring Gintoki from chest to thighs.

“It looks worse than it is.”

“You... fuckin' moron,” Hijikata breathed.

“Not so pretty, huh?”

“You can barely stand.”

Gintoki snorted. “That's not true, just a bit sore, is all.”

“You look like you got hit by a car.”

“Not a car, just the ground.” Gintoki chuckled and shuffled over to his closet to get fresh clothes. “I'm actually sore in places I didn't even know could get sore.”

“Like where?”

Gintoki turned and touched his upper stomach, the area where his topmost abs were. “Here. Lower too, but this is the worst spot. It hurts more whenever I move my wings even just to do something simple like fold them in. Makes me wonder, you know? The wings have muscles in them, so doesn't it make sense that they're connected to some of our own muscles to get them to move and stuff?”

“And you think – ah, here.” Hijikata took Gintoki's yukata and slung it over his shoulder, then lifted Gintoki's left arm. “You think there's a muscle that goes from here,” he pointed to the base of Gintoki's wing and drew a line through the air diagonally down to his upper abdominal, “to here?”

“Yeah! It's sore on both sides along the ribs, but I don't know, it feels like this front spot did most of the work. Just basing it all off feeling, of course.”

Hijikata shrugged. “It's possible, I really don't know. Humans weren't made to have wings,” his eyes followed a jagged scar along Gintoki's stomach, he hadn't noticed it or any of the other ones before, “it's hard to say what they've done to our anatomy.”

“Why do you think the feathers smelled so bad when you burned them?”

“Dunno, maybe all feathers smell that way?”

“I seriously doubt it,” Gintoki replied, pulling his yukata off Hijikata's shoulder. “But this whole muscle thing has me wondering if your wings didn't connect or fuse to your muscles the way it was supposed to.”

Hijikata blinked and helped Gintoki once he had the yukata open. “I don't... er, it's possible. I hadn't thought of it that way.”

It was a struggle to get Gintoki into a clean yukata, but the dumb perm was doing his best not to let it show. He fought back winces and grit his teeth when he had to raise his arm to get it through the sleeve, Hijikata didn't comment on any of that. The wings were the toughest part because Gintoki had to move them and pull them in close, which put strain on his muscles that, if the discoloration was anything to go by, were in pain every time Gintoki so much as breathed. With Hijikata there to help guide the wings though, they were able to get the yukata on so Gintoki could tie it off himself.

“There,” Hijikata turned back toward the door to get back to the desk, “no more pretending you're fine when you're not.”

“But I _am_ fine.”

“No, you're an idiot. And you're peelin'.”

“That's what happens after you burn, genius.” Gintoki followed him out into the living room, his footsteps sounding heavier than normal. “That paperwork pile isn't as big as it usually is.”

“Shut up,” Hijikata snapped, the thrush of anger so strong it felt like he was just punched in the chest.

Gintoki was undeterred. “Didn't someone come by earlier?”

“No, no one came by earlier! Happy now?”

“Okay, okay, jeez, never mind.”

It used to be that someone would come in the morning and give him new stuff and fill him in, but less than a week of being away from the barracks and he'd already been demoted to unimportant. He knew there was a bunch of work to do, but he couldn't do half of it and the half he was capable of doing he couldn't do unless someone brought it to him. His faction was busy, they didn't have time to waste on him when he was as useless as he was and one of the shitty things about that was that he couldn't blame them.

Running a hand through his hair, he sat back down at the desk and stared at the unfinished page before him. He'd tried calling different people several times earlier and no one had answered. Not a single person had the time to take his calls, not even Kondo, and Hijikata hated how much that _hurt_. The Shinsengumi was everything to him and he couldn't do anything for them. It felt like he was letting Kondo down and that was such a shitty feeling, he didn't know how to contend with it.

What could he _do_?

He still couldn't think of anything and his stomach dropped.

-o-O-o-

Gintoki knew better than to say anything to Hijikata when his wings were all ruffled up and he was glaring at everything. When Hijikata started in on the paperwork, he pressed the pen down too hard and the pressure flicked an unwanted splotch of ink onto the page. Hijikata cussed and ranted under his breath and tried to fix it, but that only made it worse. For his part, Gintoki remained very quiet and went over to the sofa where a few of his Jumps were spread haphazardly on the table.

He grabbed one and sat down, mindful of his bruises, and tried to lay down on his back, but he couldn't.

He tried to get on his side, he couldn't.

He tried sprawling out on his belly, he couldn't do that, either.

Each and every time, his large wings got in the way and made it impossible for him to do anything other than sit on his ass facing forward. He liked to spread out when he read his Jumps and he tended to change position often, but with wings, he was very limited on the sofa.

Setting the magazine down, he took up the remote instead and turned the TV on. He felt terrible for missing Ketsuno Ana, but he'd make it up to her by watching her next report with the double the amount of attention he usually gave her. He flipped through all the channels and stopped at a repeat of a soap opera he typically enjoyed. Without thinking, he tried to flop down on his side again and had to bite back a hiss when he jarred his wing against the back of the sofa and all his muscles screamed at him for it.

To walk off the pain, he got up and went to the kitchen for some food, passing a slumbering Sadaharu on the way. He hurt when he moved, but walking stretched his muscles and the more they stretched, the better they felt. Unfortunately, he really was a dumbass and was so preoccupied with the pain in his chest, that when he passed through the kitchen doorway both wings slammed into the frame because he'd forgotten to pull them in tighter. He bit his tongue so he wouldn't cry out and stumbled forward, falling heavily to both knees. He hugged himself doubled over and held his breath until the pain was a little more manageable. That was literally one of the stupidest things he could have done, but he wasn't at all surprised he did it.

Crawling back up to his feet, he took a few deep breaths and made sure to fold his wings nice and close to his body. When he was ready, he opened the fridge and had to stare at all its contents for awhile before selecting a strawberry milk to take back with him. He glared at the door frame as he passed through it and didn't let his wings unfold a little until he was seated safely on the sofa once more. Hijikata was absorbed in his paperwork, but he was still angrily fluffing up, though, Gintoki didn't think he was aware he was doing that.

He went back to watching his soap, but he really couldn't get comfortable. Every way he tried to sit wasn't cutting it and even trying to rest his feet up on the table was a no go. He sipped at his strawberry milk, hoping that it would somehow heal his ailments and while it certainly tasted good, it didn't act as an elixir. It occurred to him that maybe he should have brushed his teeth or tried to tame his hair a bit before becoming a winged sofa potato, but he couldn't be bothered with any of that now that he was already sitting.

“Would you quit squirming?”

Gintoki replied around the straw, “It's not like I'm doing it because I want to.”

“I don't care! It's distractin'!”

“Oh, no! Someone help! Mayora is getting distracted from his tiny pile of paperwork! Sound the alarm!”

That made Hijikata's wings fluff up even more. “At least I'm tryin' to do somethin'! All you've done today is sleep and watch TV!”

“There's not much I can do when I can't leave the apartment, asshole!”

“Doesn't stop me from being useful!”

Gintoki forced a laugh and crunched his empty milk carton in a fist. “Yeah, so useful no one has even stopped by today!”

“Fuck off, you annoyin' perm!”

“Gladly, mayora bastard!”

He turned off the TV and grabbed the Jumps before going to his room and sliding the door shut with a slam. It took him all of two minutes stretched out on his back flipping through a Jump to get over it. That was a dumb fight and not at all unlike ones they'd had before whenever they passed each other in the street. He didn't really think much of it, they were both frustrated and annoyed by their own limitations and given their natural dispositions, it almost made sense that they struck out at each other sometimes.

Halfway through his Jump, he took a quick break to move around some and stretch his muscles. He needed to work them as often as he could, that was the quickest way to get them feeling better. He didn't know much about anatomy or anything like that, but from experience, he found he healed faster if he kept going through the pain. So, he got up and let his wings spread out wide and since he was alone he felt okay letting out a wince. He raised them up and stretched his arms out in front of him, then walked around for the sake of his legs.

Walking in his forth circle around the two futons, he aimed to go back to his own, but stepped on something on the edge of Hijikata's. Looking down, he blinked at the phone and frowned, Hijikata didn't usually let it leave his side. Then again, the bastard was pretty snappish, so maybe in his grouchy haze he'd forgotten about it. Smirking, Gintoki picked it up and flipped it open. He was a piece of shit with a lot of technology things, but he was able to find the contacts and scroll through until he found the name he was after. He pressed the call button and went over to the corner of the room where he didn't think Hijikata would be able to hear him talking and waited for the other person to answer.

-o-O-o-

It was about two hours before Gintoki emerged from his room and Hijikata didn't look up at him when he came out. The TV turned on and Gintoki was right back to squirming and being a peripheral distraction. This time, Hijikata didn't say anything and kept trying to focus on what he was doing. His pace with the paperwork had slowed down to make what he had left last, but he was beginning to wonder just how long he could continue to drag it out. Why hadn't anyone come to see him? Had something happened?

Stricken, he got up and went into Gintoki's room for his phone. It was exactly where he'd left it and he'd wanted to get it earlier, but no way in hell was he going to go get it while Gintoki was in the room. His heart sank when he looked at the empty screen, there wasn't so much as a text message to give him any updates. It was like they'd completely forgotten he existed and the bitterness that over turned his stomach made him want to vomit. He flipped open the top and had his thumb on Kondo's speed dial, but... wouldn't he just be a bother if he called? What if something came up? What if the Shogun stopped by for a visit at random and everyone was in a snit trying to organize everything? If Hijikata called in the middle of that fiasco he'd just be holding them up, not helping anyone.

It was just a busy day, he told himself, no one had forgotten about him.

It was just a busy day.

Closing his phone with a quick movement of his wrist, he returned to the desk and plopped down. He had ink stains on his fingers and despite going slower with the paperwork, his handwriting had gotten worse and he kind of just wanted to smash something to pieces. But then he heard a whine from the couch and he was repulsed by himself that he knew exactly what Gintoki wanted.

“No, we're not goin' today.”

“Aw – c'mon, why not?”

“Have you seen yourself? You're every color of the rainbow, why would we go to the pond today?”

“I can float while you do your thing.”

“It's too hot.”

“It's hot everyday, but that has never stopped us.”

Hijikata ground his teeth. “We'll go tomorrow, alright?”

“I wanna go today.”

“No! Use today to figure out who broke my figurine! I gave you what you wanted, you have yet to uphold your end of the bargain, Yorozuya!”

Gintoki's wings curled in closer to his body until they pressed against the back of the sofa. “Oi, oi, I'm close to cracking the case!”

“Uh-huh, so who did it?”

“I'm working on it! I don't wanna point fingers until I'm absolutely certain!”

“You have no idea, do you?”

“I just told you that I do!”

“Bullshit,” Hijikata lit up a cigarette and motioned to the floor with his free hand, “if you're lookin' for somethin' to do you could clean up your goddamn feathers!”

“My feathers aren't the only ones littering the floor!”

“I don't give a shit, clean'em up!”

“You do it! It'll be good practice for you!”

Hijikata's eyes narrowed. “You callin' me a slob?”

“The walking!” Gintoki threw both arms up and Hijikata had to hand it to him that he didn't wince or flinch. It was kind of amusing, Gintoki didn't show that he was in pain, but the way he froze after the motion clearly said, _Why the fuck did I just do that?_ What an idiot, seriously. “The _walking_ would be good practice for you! Not everything I say is an insult, dickhead!”

Snorting, Hijikata blew smoke out of his nose. “Just most things.”

“When it comes to you?” Gintoki scoffed and cracked a half-smile. “Yeah.”

“Doesn't one of your kids usually clean?”

“Shinpachi, but he and Kagura are gonna be out for a few more hours.”

“It would probably be a nice surprise if he came back and the place was already clean.”

Gintoki leered at him. “Is this some kinda reverse psychology thing or do you just wanna see me in a maid outfit?”

“P-please,” Hijikata was choking on a lungful of smoke, “please tell me you d-don't make your kid dress up to c-clean!”

“Of course not! God, relax and take a goddamn joke.”

“Shuddap!”

In the end, Gintoki didn't clean and neither did Hijikata. They slipped back into their own things and Hijikata finished a few more cigarettes as the hours slipped by. Gintoki watched different soaps and continued to be annoying with all his squirming, but this time around, Hijikata didn't say anything about it. Hijikata kept his phone on the desk next to him, but it never went off once, he stopped looking after awhile, it only disappointed him. He lost track of time within his paperwork and it was pathetic, but he really was taking his time with it. He wanted – _needed_ – it to last and he was determined to make that happen until he got a replenishment to keep him busy.

“Oi! Mayora!”

Hijikata jolted and looked up. “Huh?”

“Very intelligent. C'mon, we're in charge of some stuff for dinner.”

“Wha – I don't cook! You do it!”

“No! If you're gonna stay here, you have to contribute!”

“I bought you an air conditioner!”

“That was before, this is now! If you wanna eat, you've gotta help.”

“Maybe I don't wanna eat.”

“Maybe I'll hide your mayonnaise.”

Hijikata squinted. “You wouldn't dare.”

“Wanna try me?”

“I hate you.”

Gintoki laughed and walked over. “C'mon, c'mon, I'll lend you my arm!”

“I will literally break it,” Hijikata snapped and got up on his own.

“You don't even wanna hold my hand?”

“Disgusting.”

“Aw, hurting my feelings.”

Hijikata gave him a shove and after that followed him into the kitchen. Stuff was already set out and Hijikata didn't know when Gintoki had done that, but he also didn't care. It'd been hours, close to two, since they'd really spoken and that was what happened whenever Hijikata got lost in his work. The air was nice and extra cool in the kitchen and the air conditioner was currently off. It was set to come on in intervals to keep the place at a certain temperature and it felt good, things would be so much worse for everyone without it.

“You should at least know how to roll some onigiri,” Gintoki said and gave his hands a wash in the sink.

Hijikata washed his hands right after and thoroughly dried them before taking up some rice from the big bowl farther back on the counter. He hadn't done this in years and right away he felt rusty and clumsy, but goddamn it he wasn't going to look stupid in front of Gintoki. But... his cheeks heated up in embarrassment as the first ball crumbled and fell apart between his fingers. He knew Gintoki was watching and his teeth clenched to keep himself from snapping prematurely.

“Or... maybe you don't,” Gintoki commented, sounding genuinely surprised. “I forgot your lot has fancy cooks and whatnot to do this stuff for you. Here, watch me, it's really easy once you get the hang of it. Though, truth be told, I'm not too good at this either, my talent rests in eating, not preparing.”

Hijikata snorted and Gintoki flashed a smile at him, then got a small bowl that he filled with water. It was easy for him to move around Hijikata, though he had to take a couple extra steps to make sure his wings didn't collide with anything. He was careful about it, practice making him wary of just what kind of spread his wings actually had. Hijikata distantly wondered how many things Gintoki had accidentally knocked over because he hadn't been paying attention or had forgotten about his added limbs.

“Get your hands wet, too.” Hijikata did so by dipping them into the bowl that had been put between them and Gintoki sprinkled some salt into his left palm. “Rub that between your hands. Most people don't use their hands for this anymore, but this is the only way I know how to do it.”

From there, Gintoki took some rice in his hand and cupped his fingers to show Hijikata how to press the rice together. It was really simple and the rice was already really sticky, Hijikata didn't understand why his had fallen apart so spectacularly that first time. He felt like an idiot, honestly. After that, it didn't take Hijikata long to get it at all and though his rice balls were a little misshapen, they overall didn't look too bad.

It wasn't until his fourth ball that he glanced at Gintoki, asking, “Can I... put mayo in some of these?”

“Oh!” Both white wings popped up a little higher at the ridge. “Shit, yeah! I forgot we have stuff to put in them!”

“Dumbass.” Gintoki went over, opened the door, and stood staring into the abyss of the fridge for a minute. He was motionless, just staring with his hand on top of the old fridge door, it didn't even look like he was searching for anything. “Oi! You gonna come back or what?”

“Huh? Ah, yeah, sorry. Just not used to actually having stuff in here, I keep thinking it's going to disappear.”

“And starin' at it is gonna keep it in place?”

“Seems to be working so far!”

Hijikata closed his eyes to refrain from openly rolling them and only looked over once Gintoki was beside him again. He'd pulled out a few things from the fridge and one of Hijikata's already opened bottles of mayonnaise was part of the bunch.

“This might not be enough.”

“It's nearly a full bottle! That's plenty!”

“We'll see,” Hijikata grumbled and poured some in his mouth to make sure it was suitable for the rice balls.

And also because he just wanted some.

Well, okay, mostly just because he needed some.

“How do you put stuff in them?”

“Cup your hand like this,” Gintoki did a demonstration by holding rice in his palm and creating an indent in the middle, “then just add what you want. I've seen Shinpachi mush it neatly together without putting some extra rice at the top, but I can't do that, I always have to add extra rice.”

Hijikata followed his example, but paused when he saw what Gintoki was putting inside of his own. Who but Gintoki would put freshly cut strawberries inside of their rice balls?

“Don't put that shit in the middle!”

“Says the guy stuffing his with mayo!”

“Because I'm gonna eat them!”

“They're not all for you! We're feeding more than just us tonight!”

“Then let's see whose is more popular! Your garbage against my perfect creation!”

Gintoki gaped at him. “Fine! Bring it on!”

“Good!”

“Mine are going to be rounder, too!”

“Are not! I'm just gettin' used to it right now, mine are goin' to be way better!”

Their wings pushed against each other and Hijikata was proud he didn't lose his balance and go face first into his attempts at onigiri. Hijikata stretched his other wing out to practice and he did feel a little pull along his chest when he did it. He'd have to remember that and bring it up to Kondo the next time he saw him because the wings adding muscles or changing their anatomy, that hadn't occurred to Hijikata at all since they both looked the same, wings aside.

“Are you hummin'?”

“Yeah,” Gintoki replied mid-hum.

“Stop.”

“Why?”

“S'annoyin'.”

“No, it's not.”

Hijikata hit the bastard with his wing. “Yes, it is.”

“You could always hum along with me.”

“You're not even hummin' an actual song!”

Gintoki laughed and his wing punched Hijikata right back. “That's the fun of it!”

Grumbling, Hijikata pulled his wings in closer to his back, but let the one rest against Gintoki's white plumage. They were close enough that it was uncomfortable trying to keep their wings from touching and Hijikata was too focused on his rice balls to give much of a fuck about anything else. He made several with mayonnaise, but Gintoki had grabbed some salted salmon as well, so Hijikata put some of that in a grouping. A few times Gintoki had to plug up some holes in the rice for Hijikata where some of the innards were trying to squeeze out, but the shapes of his onigiri were near the mark by his fifteenth one. Gintoki had already made eighteen... not that Hijikata was really paying any attention to that. 

“Sukonbu!” Kagura cried, running into the kitchen and successfully startling Hijikata enough to make his feathers ruffle up. She went right to Gintoki and shoved her face into his back between his wings while her hands went up to touch near the bases. “Where is it?”

Gintoki pulled the box out of a fold in his yukata and held them behind his back. “Your dog tried to eat them.”

She didn't lift her head, but blindly took the box and held it to her chest. “I didn't leave it out.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“Did not!”

“Did so! I found him about to chomp it right off the sofa! He'd probably take a chunk out of the fabric like he did that one time!”

Kagura laughed and Gintoki held a salmon onigiri behind his back for her. “Take that and go make yourself useful somewhere else.”

“Roger-aru!”

She bit down on the rice ball and bolted with it hanging out of her mouth, though Hijikata didn't know what _make yourself useful somewhere else_ could possibly mean. He went back to making his onigiri creations, alternating between the salted salmon and the mayonnaise to keep it even.

“She always does that,” he commented as he pressed the rice in a dome around some salmon.

“Does what?”

“Touch the same spot with her hands and face.”

“Ah, that. Apparently that's the softest spot, she says all the feathers are really tiny and warm. Have a look, if you want.”

Hijikata glanced over and when he was sure Gintoki wasn't paying him any mind, he reached out and touched the base of the right wing – both wings jerked. Out of reflex, Hijikata yanked his hand back and held it up with an open palm. His face turned red and it felt like he should lash with a hit to spare himself any awkwardness.

“Q-quit! You told me to!”

Gintoki looked over and snorted. “Yeah, just surprised. Didn't think you'd actually do it.”

“You grab at mine whenever you d-damn well please!”

“Duh! How often do we get to touch wings whenever we want?” He opened his wing until it pressed into Hijikata's hand. “And it's not like I mind.” His eyes narrowed. “Though, your hands are covered in sticky rice goobers.”  
Hijikata sniffed haughtily. “Even better.”

Purposefully, he wiped the _sticky rice goobers_ from the top of Gintoki's wing to the bottom with a flat expression. Gintoki gave him a push until he took a step back and when Hijikata went to regain his balance, he put his hand between Gintoki's wings. The feathers there _were_ warm and downy in softness, but that was probably to be expected of  auxiliary feathers. He could just barely see where the wings were coming out of Gintoki's skin, but he didn't look at that long, it was too weird. That, and he didn't want to imagine what his own might look like or how they might have looked had he managed to pull them out like he'd wanted to that one day.

When he removed his hand, a few little feather tufts were stuck to his fingers and he waved the hand to try and get them off, but they stayed put. Shuffling over, he washed his hands in the sink to shoo the little cling-ons down the drain and he was nearly certain he could hear Gintoki make an unhappy sound.

“Since your hands are clean, gimme that to-go container.”

“This stuff isn't for here?”

“Didn't I mention? We're eating downstairs tonight.”

“In the bar?”

“That would be what's downstairs, yeah.”

“Oh.”

Gintoki started transferring the onigiri into the container after Hijikata opened it for him. “Is that a problem?”

“No. Doesn't there need to be seaweed with these?”

“We have some, it's already cut, but some people like more seaweed than others so around here we let whoever take however much they want.”

Hijikata grunted and closed the container once Gintoki had filled it, then moved out of the way so the other could wash his hands. The air conditioning clicked to life and he heard Gintoki sigh as a little smile came to his face.

“Are we heading down now?”

“Soon. Will you carry those? I need to take down some drinks.”

“It's not all strawberry milk, is it?”

“Nope!” He pranced over to the fridge, wings moving with each step. Hijikata did happen to notice that Gintoki's little prance didn't last all the way to the fridge, about halfway there he switched to walking normally, it wasn't hard to guess why. “Stuff for the kids and some... punch? I think it's punch. I don't actually know what it is, but I'm supposed to take it down with us.”

“How responsible of you.”

“You know, I _can_ actually tell when you're being sarcastic.”

“Good for you.” Hijikata shifted his weight and held the container tight to his stomach. “Oi. Do I, ah, have to stay down there long?”

Gintoki paused and closed the fridge with his foot as he eyed Hijikata, his expression difficult to read. “Not if you don't want to. No one is going to make you do anything or expect you to stay if you don't want.”

Against his wishes, his face warmed and he turned away. “Let's go then.”

He hurried away to the front door and busied himself with putting on his sandals until Gintoki joined him. Gintoki had to set his stuff down to put on his boots and it was a bit cramped in the entrance with the two of them plus their wings, both of which were half-mast.

When Hijikata went to grab his blanket to cover his, he stopped and stared at the way it was folded. “Did – oi, did your kid wash these?”

Gintoki peered over and smirked. “Probably. He complains about everything he has to wash, but I swear he likes it. Likes the smell of the detergent or soap or whatever the hell he uses. Or maybe he just likes folding things, I don't know, but he washes a lot of things that don't need cleaned.”

“I'd say you got lucky with that.”

“Ha! I'd say you're right! Sure saves me a lot of trouble.” He finished with his boots and grabbed the top blanket, which he opened and threw onto Hijikata's back. He opened the second one and slipped it around his shoulders, Hijikata had to help him get it around the edges of his wings, then Gintoki picked the drinks back up. “Lemme go out first and pull in your left wing, it looks like you're the mayora of Notre Dame.”

“That'd make you a gargoyle then.”

“And yet I'm still the pretty one.”

Hijikata made a gagging sound until Gintoki gave him a shove, then they were on their way out the door. Once Hijikata had the door shut tight so the cold air couldn't escape, he was balancing the container and pulling out his pack of cigarettes. He kicked Gintoki's heel until he stopped, giving Hijikata enough time to light up and thank god there wasn't a breeze, otherwise his blanket would have fallen from his shoulders. It was tricky to get the blanket secure with just his arms and the one hand he was holding the container with, but he managed. Nothing was going to stop him from enjoying a cigarette before he had to eat dinner with Gintoki's lot, he needed the nicotine for his nerves.

He followed Gintoki around the corner and they started descending the stairs one step at a time. He usually kept a hand on the rail, but didn't currently have a hand to spare. He was also proud to say that his walking _was_ getting better, slowly, but surely. However, not halfway down the steps, Hijikata slipped and pitched forward, running right into Gintoki's back. There was a yelp, a scream, and a near fatal loss of all food and drink items. Hijikata's cigarette had fallen from his mouth upon impact, but Gintoki remained sturdy, which was pretty amazing since Hijikata was plastered between his wings and had the container clutched for dear life between them, thus digging into Gintoki's back.

“Ach-ch-ch! You – burning! I'm burning!”

“Hah?”

“Bastard, my neck! Get it off!”

Smoke was coming out of Gintoki's collar and with a hiss, Hijikata scrambled and pulled out the cigarette. He tossed it aside with a flick of his fingers and pulled at his blanket to make sure it didn't slip off. He made the mistake of glancing around and that only made things worse because some people had actually _stopped_ just to stare at them.

“S-shit – shit! Get inside! People are lookin'!”

Gintoki didn't wait, he started walking and Hijikata held onto him for the support, but was careful he didn't pull the blanket down. He must have hurt Gintoki's bruises when he fell and that had his face heating up even more. Once they were through the flaps at the entrance of Otose's snack shop, Hijikata was steering Gintoki toward the bar with sharp little pushes.

“What the hell was all that noise?”

Hijikata couldn't for the life of him remember the cat lady's name.

“Nothing,” Gintoki replied, setting his stuff down on the counter when they reached it. “Ka-chan, we dropped a cigarette, go get it before Sadaharu decides to eat it and get sick again.”

“Get it yourself, lazy old man,” said again the one with the ears.

“Would if I could,” Gintoki dropped his cover and let his wings spread out some, “but I might stand out a little too much.”

Kagura had already gone out to get the cigarette and Hijikata set his food and blanket down before rounding on Gintoki.

“Lemme see.”

“No, why?”

“'Cause I wanna see,” he grabbed at Gintoki's collar, “just hold still.”

Gintoki lamely batted him away until Hijikata yanked and then he behaved a little better – but only a _little_. There was a large red welt burned into his skin and Hijikata's faced scrunched. He pulled Gintoki over by the collar and sat him down at one of the stools at the bar, but he had to slide it out a bit to allow for the wings.

“There, now would you quit fussing? It's only a little burn.”

“Shuddap!” Gintoki tried to move away, but Hijikata held him firm. “Where can I get a wet cloth? There's ash smeared everywhere....”

Otose came up behind the counter and handed him one, saying, “Burns are actually pretty common around here.”

“It's barely a burn!” Gintoki piped up, his feathers ruffling some and Hijikata could have sworn he was pouting amidst the agitation.

Hijikata turned Gintoki's head away and put the rag on the red skin. “It'll leave a mark behind.”

“So what?” Gintoki groused, his wings coming up high enough that Hijikata had to push them away with his elbows. “It's not the first one I have and it's not the first one you've left on me.”

“I've,” his brows furrowed, “never burned you before.”

Gintoki scoffed. “No, but you've cut me before.”

Hijikata didn't move as Gintoki shrugged his left shoulder and pulled down the yukata enough for it to fall away from that side. There was a scar on the ridge of his shoulder, the skin slightly raised and a bit off color.

“Remember it now?”

Hijikata didn't move. “That rooftop.”

“Yup, it wasn't a bad cut, but it still left a little something.”

“You deserved it.”

Gintoki laughed. “Did I? Pretty sure you attacked an innocent man.”

“No, you definitely deserved it. If not for what happened with Kondo, then for being annoying in general.”

“How nice,” Gintoki said with a chuckle and Hijikata pulled his yukata back into place.

“Here.” Hijikata reached out for the medium bandaid with goop on the pad, but Otose held it out of his reach. Her eyes were sharp and narrowed right at him. “Just how did a cigarette end up on his neck?”

Every hair and every feather on or attached to his body stood on end.

“T-trip! I t-tripped!”

“He did, actually,” Gintoki chimed in with a little sheepish duck of his head. “He's kinda clumsy these days.”

Otose didn't reply, she just slowly held out the bandaid far enough for Hijikata to take it. He dried off the burn with his own sleeve and applied the bandaid, though, he had to push some of Gintoki's hair out of the way to do it. Shinpachi came out of the back with a tray of food and Hijikata only took a breath once Otose had walked away. He wanted to scurry his way back upstairs and stay there, he should never have ventured down here in the first place!

Clearing his throat, he took a step back and searched for something to say. “Y-you suffer a lot of burns here?”

“Heh, yeah,” Gintoki smiled and pointed across the room, “other than regular stupidity and clumsiness, Tama's favorite attack is with a flamethrower.”

“Because that's safe.”

Gintoki glanced over his shoulder at him, then spun so they were facing each other. “Who cares about that? She uses a _flamethrower_ , that's kinda badass.”

“I'll give you that, she's not bad for a robot. But,” he leaned in a little closer so Gintoki could still hear him when he lowered his voice, “if Otose-san got like that over a small burn, how would she be if she knew about the bruises?”

Gintoki's face went blank and Hijikata was under the gaze of dead fish eyes. “What bruises?”

“No!” Kagura yelled and Hijikata immediately straightened back up. “Who invited him? He wasn't supposed to come!”

“Sougo?” Hijikata blinked in confusion, his brows coming down as more familiar faces walked in one after another. “K-Kondo, what...?”

“I invited a few extra guests for dinner,” Gintoki explained. “Hope you don't mind.”

“But h-how did you...?”

“You left your phone in my room, so I gave Kondo a call. I had good timing, he was actually about to come this way to bring you things and see you, but I told him not to so this could be a surprise. Called down here next and Ba-san caught the kids before they came up after their job to let them know.” Gintoki's wings folded closer to him and he scratched the back of his neck. “It'll be easier for you when we go back to the barracks in a few days.”

“You won't mind going back?”

“No, it's fine, that was the agreement, right? We could just go back and forth whenever we feel like it.”

“Y-yeah... that should be fine....”

“But... just gonna throw this out there, we do have air conditioning here now.”

“Really?” Hijikata asked flatly. “I had no idea. How did that happen?”

“Dunno, I was delirious from heat stroke, I don't remember a thing.”

“Tosshi!” Kondo was frantically waving Hijikata over to a table covered in food and alcohol and surrounded by his subordinates.

“What're you waiting for?” Gintoki asked, giving him a shove in that direction. “Get lost and quit being such a goddamn grouch.”

Flipping him off over his shoulder, Hijikata stumbled his first step toward the table and after such a frustrating day, he finally didn't feel like breaking something. Kondo greeted him with a hand squeezing his shoulder and a seat was cleared for him, plates were handed out, this refreshment was definitely something Hijikata needed.

He just hadn't known how much he really needed it.

**To Be Continued**

 


	12. Why Did I Decide to Give This Fic Titles I Fucking Suck at Titles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki and Hijikata find ways to fill their days while suck in the apartment and tolerating each other isn't easy, especially when there's crime afoot and Hijikata finds out first hand the sheer terror of being an Inspector.

Hijikata was relieved, relaxed, and enjoying himself. He was in a seat that had no back and was higher up off the ground, so he could sit without any of his feathers touching the ground. Kondo had stayed by him the whole evening and the rest of his faction came and went as they ate. He'd had some drinks, but he was really watching himself because he didn't want to go overboard with it. Last thing he wanted was to annoy Otose even more by doing something like passing out in her bar or worse, puking on her things.

Gintoki was on the other side of the room with his kids and that was mostly where they stayed. They interacted with Hijikata's faction, much like Gintoki did when he stayed at the barracks, and for such a boisterous group, they were behaving pretty well. To Hijikata's knowledge, only a few things had been broken on accident, someone bumping into a table and knocking something over, little things like that. Overall, everyone seemed to be having a good time and it was just really nice to get away from the isolation for awhile.

Though Gintoki's apartment was nice, Hijikata missed the noise and bustle of the barracks. He missed being able to leave his room and find himself caught up in the constant motion of his faction. There was a lot to miss and so much had been taken from him because of these stupid wings that were all but useless to him. So, to have everyone around again, the motion and the chatter back in place, it was uplifting for him. He got to snap at them, give them orders that were carried out swiftly and without question, and it was so _relieving_ that even with his absence and his stupid wings, he was still revered as their Vice-Commander. The only one that didn't respect his authority was Sougo, but really, what the hell was surprising about that other than nothing?

Hijikata looked over and snorted, a smirk vying to take over his mouth. Gintoki was standing in front of the bar and was looking down with a pout at their onigiri. The ones with the tuna were all gone, but the ones with the mayonnaise and the ones with the strawberries hadn't been touched. Only two of them had been tampered with, torn open to show what was inside of them so others knew to avoid them. Wriggling out of his seat, Hijikata carefully went over to Gintoki and stared down at the rice balls with him.

“Looks like we're tied for most popular rice ball.”

Shooting him an annoyed look, Gintoki picked up a strawberry one and shoved the whole thing into his mouth. It was way too big, but he made it fit somehow and had to chew with his mouth open to even be _able_ to chew.

“No, I'm winning,” Gintoki said, mouth so full his cheeks were puffed out and a couple pieces of rice fell when he spoke.

“You asshole,” Hijikata growled and picked up one of his mayonnaise creations to eat it.

He was actually smart enough to eat it in smaller bites, but his mouthfuls were still too big and hard to swallow. Gintoki took up another strawberry one as he sat down and began to gorge himself. Not to be outdone, Hijikata sat down next to him and ate his mayonnaise ones.

“I don't get why no one wanted mine.”

“I do,” Hijikata replied, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Told ya strawberries would be disgustin'.”

“They are not!” Gintoki said indignantly, his mouth empty for the moment. He pushed one of the strawberry disasters over to Hijikata. “I dare you to try one and say to my face it's disgusting, if you even can. And _no_ spitting it out! Don't waste it!”

“Fine! But you have to try one of these!”

Gintoki's eyes narrowed at the ball that was rolled his way. “Not... a whole one.”

“Of course not a whole one, as if I'd waste a whole one on you! We'll just... break off a piece?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Gintoki's wing nudged Hijikata, “you first.”

“No way! _You_ first!”

“No, I don't trust you!”

“I don't trust you, either! Once I do it you'll back out!”

Gintoki glared, then looked down at the rice ball and his nose curled. “Fine. Okay. At the same time?”

“Alright.”

“I'm going to get a drink so I've got something to wash it down with. Want one while I'm up?”

“What're you getting?”

“Probably a beer.”

“Beer's fine.”

He left and Hijikata sized up the onigiri, even prodded at it with a finger while no one in the room was paying attention to him. He wasn't thrilled about the prospect of trying this thing, but at least it was filled with a fruit he knew he could tolerate. He'd had quite a bit to drink already, too, but he figured one more beer couldn't hurt since his head was buzzing nicely. Gintoki returned and set the two beers down in front of them just behind the tray of rice balls. With a deep breath, Hijikata picked up the ball at the same time Gintoki grabbed his own and began to tear off a decent bite size, his brows scrunching at the sight of the strawberries.

“Yours is all mushy,” Gintoki complained, some of the mayonnaise on his fingers.

“On three.” Gintoki nodded and frowned in determination. “One.” They raised their bites in front of them. “Two.” Their hands moved toward them and he heard a small reluctant noise from beside him, but he ignored it. “Three.”

In their mouths the rice ball pieces went and there was a loud gargle from beside him almost right away. Hijikata chewed quickly and swallowed, the taste not the worst thing he'd ever had, but it definitely wasn't something he'd willingly eat again. He grappled for his beer and drank several swigs to clear his palette, which was for sure the best part of the whole ordeal. He drank nearly half the beer before he looked over and choked until he coughed. Gintoki was frozen mid-chew and his face was vaguely blue along his cheeks and forehead. His eyes were completely dead and crossed and it looked like he was going to hurl it out at any second.

“Fuck no!” Hijikata yelled and slapped a hand over Gintoki's mouth. “You're the one that said no spittin' it out!” Their wings were pressed up against each other as Hijikata pushed closer. “Follow through!” He used his other hand to plug Gintoki's nose. “You don't get to breathe until you finish it!”

Gintoki closed his eyes and Hijikata felt his whole body shudder, his feathers rustling, and his spine went rigid. He made a soft sobbing sound and his breath hitched, but then his throat worked as he swallowed. Hijikata let go of him and he gasped in a big breath through his mouth before opening his eyes and reaching for his beer. He downed the whole thing in seconds and right after the glass was slammed back down, Gintoki fell face first against the counter.

“You dramatic little baby,” Hijikata said and took a bite of the partial mayonnaise rice ball. “It wasn't that bad.”

Hijikata took a sip of beer and finished the rice ball, finding himself comfortably full. He'd take the rest of his mayo-balls back upstairs with him and eat them either later or the next day. He hadn't thought it would turn out that good, but he shouldn't have been surprised, it was just rice with mayonnaise, he ate stuff like that regularly.

Next to him, there was only some sad, pathetic puttering.

Hijikata wing punched him. “Get yourself t'gether already, wimp.”

“I hate you,” Gintoki said lowly and Hijikata wing punched him again.

He didn't think much of it when Gintoki brought a hand up to his mouth and sucked on his pointer finger. He thought Gintoki was having a moment of mental distress that he didn't know how to properly deal with since he was such a simple minded creature. However, when that finger – wet and slick with spit – ended up in Hijikata's ear, he yelled and the creepiest shudder ran through his whole body. His wings shuddered out and he slapped the hand away, wholly offended and blushing to what felt like the tips of his feathers.

“You asshole,” Hijikata seethed in an undertone, a harsh frown pulling at his lips. He waved off the people that were looking and glared hard enough to ward off any and every inquiry – his wings had taken a lot from him, but his killer intent remained strong as ever. “You'll pay for this, natural perm!”

Gintoki lifted his head and he looked sickly with his mouth hanging halfway open, the threat not seeming to phase him at all. Deeming this his opportunity, Hijikata tore off a piece of the strawberry filled onigiri and shoved it into Gintoki's mouth halfway hoping he'd choke on it.

“There, see?” He pushed Gintoki's mouth closed hard enough to make his teeth clack. “You're fine.”

“Still hate you,” Gintoki replied as he chewed.

Hijikata drank some more beer and began grouping his mayo-balls closer together. “Uh-huh, you're lucky I don't kill you for defilin' my ear.”

“Oi, why's Jimmy all dressed up?”

At that, Hijikata glanced over where Zaki was shuffling closer to Tama across the room. The guy was a fidgeting mess, Hijikata surmised he'd maybe had too much to drink or something.

“Beats me. Sure as hell ain't to impress your lazy ass.”

“Is he...” Gintoki leaned in closer to Hijikata, a hand over his mouth to whisper, “oh my god, he's hitting on her.”

Hijikata shoved his face away. “Ger'off – no, he ain't!”

Gintoki slid right back like some kind of goddamn yo-yo or boomerang. “Seriously, look at them! He's totally hitting on her! I didn't know he had the hots for Tama!”

“'Cause he doesn't! You're seein' things, Yorozuya. Need'ta get your eyes checked.”

“My eyes work just fine. Well enough to see that he just gave her a thing of anpan, anyway.”

“He didn't!” Hijikata blurted, his head swinging that way again. Sure enough, there was a package of anpan in Tama's hands and Zaki was bashfully rubbing the back of his head. “So....”

“So...” Gintoki prompted, smirking, their wings pressed together once more.

Hijikata huffed and crossed his arms, wings fluffing up. “So, maybe he likes her. A little.”

“More than a little! Are you not seeing what I'm seeing here?”

“'Course I am!” A hiccup made Hijikata's wings twitch. “I think... I drank t'much.”

“Lemme see.” Gintoki reached over and grabbed Hijikata's glass, which he brought to his face and stared into. “Ya missed some.”

Hijikata hiccuped and Gintoki gulped down the rest of his beer, then firmly set the glass back down before letting out the loudest, ground shaking belch. Hijikata was absolutely disgusted until he hiccuped at the exact same time an equally loud belch sounded like a blow horn from the opposite side of the room from his little minion, Kagura. Gintoki let out a happy scream and got up in time for Hijikata to realize he'd actually been using his wing to lean against Gintoki because he immediately lost his balance and fell right to the floor.

The room got quieter or maybe it didn't get quieter, maybe everything else just got drowned out by Gintoki laughing and yelling, “My bad!”

The embarrassment was instantaneous, he felt his whole body recoil, his stomach sink, and he didn't even want to open his eyes. He was a hiccuping blob of a Vice-Commander and he should never have had so much to drink. Everything was hate and hiccups, he wasn't a good guy, but he deserved better than this fate! And goddamn it, he was brave! He could open his eyes and face this!

Hiccuping, he opened his right eye and was surprised to see nothing but white. There was still laughter and everything was white – this was it, he'd finally died. More laughter had joined Gintoki's and that... didn't make sense. Both eyes opened and it was all white feathers everywhere until Hijikata shoved them out of the way to find Gintoki on the floor with him. He was on his back, his limbs and wings splayed out, and his laughter had died down to just a lopsided smile.

They'd both fallen? But... no, that couldn't be right... or was it?

“Had too much to drink, have you?” Kondo asked, his swaying form appearing above Hijikata.

“Gorilla,” Gintoki said and giggled to himself behind a hand.

Hijikata kicked him. “He ain't no go-hic-rilla!”

“Bwa-ha-ha! I was just coming to tell you we should be heading out, it's getting late,” Kondo said and his face had that deep drunken flush right below his eyes.

His own eyes going cross, Hijikata wriggled out of the way in case Kondo decided to pass out on top of him. “'Kay. Thanks f'comin'.”

Kondo slapped his shoulder a few times and the force of it made his wings retract inward toward him. “Anything for you, Toshi! I'll see you soon!”

He helped Hijikata to his feet, then began rounding everyone up to get them headed out the door. A lot of the stuff that was brought over got taken and Gintoki was eventually jumped on by Kagura and stolen away to do something. Hijikata busied himself with rolling all the leftover rice balls together and he bundled up all the blurry images of them. It felt like his entire faction stopped by or called out goodbye and that got annoying after about the third time because he couldn't tell which one of their faces was the right one.

After that... things happened really fast and with a lot of hiccups. He remembered cleaning up some, remembered grabbing the rice balls and putting his blanket on, he definitely remembered tripping up the stairs, but it all happened really fast even though he felt sluggish. He shooed away white feathers a lot and made sure to keep them in his sights because he could _see_ them. Though, by the time his face hit his pillow, he couldn't give a fuck about anything else, he just gave up and passed out.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata had had a rough morning, one of the roughest he'd had in a long, long time. It'd started with a pounding headache and that was no way to start any morning, it made for a bad day. He'd gone to the bathroom, peed, tried to brush his teeth only to vomit up everything in his gut, then scurried back to his futon to sleep it off. Gintoki hadn't moved the whole time, he was fast asleep and undisturbed by any movement or sounds Hijikata made.

That had been hours ago and Hijikata was feeling a lot better, though, definitely still hungover. His headache wasn't so prominent, but he still felt sick to his stomach if he thought about eating anything. Gintoki didn't seem to be having too many problems, but Hijikata hadn't thought he was as drunk as himself. They'd snapped at each other about something stupid right off, so they'd taken to avoiding one another for the time being. Kagura had been smart enough to beat it and there was no sign of Shinpachi, so Kagura had probably warned him away.

Hijikata had just finished folding his futon up – he'd spent enough time being useless on it – and when he walked out into the living room, he heard voices. Following the noise, Hijikata paused in the hall and glared at the shoes in the doorway, he recognized them. Cautious now, he walked, choosing his steps with care, into the kitchen and found Sougo sitting at the kotatsu with Gintoki, a plate piled high with dango between them.

“I only let him in because he was bearing gifts,” Gintoki said right away.

“Whatever. What d'ya want, Sougo?”

Hijikata didn't like the way he smiled. “Just here to drop off some things for you.”

“I told Kondo to send anyone but you.”

“I'm the only one available right now.”

“Why's that?”

“It's cleaning day, I'm a supervisor.”

Hijikata ground his teeth and took the thick binder that was being held out for him. “What kinda supervising do you call this?”

“Supervision from afar,” Sougo replied innocently. “You just have to scare them enough, make them think you're watching from the shadows at all times, you know all about that Hijikata-san.”

“Out,” Hijikata ordered, pointing with a wing to the door. “Get back to work, you're not allowed to slack off.”

“He can stay for a little longer,” Gintoki cajoled.  
“No,” a special glare got directed at Gintoki, “he needs to get going! You two can do whatever it is you sadists do when you and I get back to the barracks.”

Gintoki munched on a dango stick and leered at him, but thankfully didn't contest him. The sadists spoke a few words in parting and Hijikata watched Sougo like a hawk until his shoes were on and he was out the door. He had a feeling Sougo wouldn't be going back to work, but at least he wouldn't be loitering right in front of Hijikata. The punk didn't know how good he had it just being _able_ to go to work, Hijikata wouldn't let him squander it.

“He didn't _have_ to go,” Gintoki muttered.

“He _did_.”

“It's _my_ apartment.”

“That _I'm_ payin' rent for.”

Gintoki sniffed haughtily and groused under his breath, “Asshole.”

Headache rearing back to the forefront, Hijikata rolled his eyes and left. Unfortunately, he had to stop short just inside the living room because of a very large, slobbering problem.

“Oi! Natural perm! Your dog is in my seat!”

“So move him!” Gintoki called out.

“How?”

“Try food!”

“I don't have any!” He ground his teeth and glared at the wall, truth be known, even with food he didn't want to have to deal with this monstrous dog. “Would you just come out here already?”

“I can't! Just move him! It's not that hard!”

Hijikata dubiously took a step toward the animal and Sadaharu didn't even open his eyes, he just kept sleeping. Carefully, Hijikata went to him and slipped his fingers under the dog's collar to start to pull. He did it lightly at first, then harder and harder still until he was using all of his weight to try and haul the beast away. His wings flapped to give him more force, but Sadaharu only yawned and nestled his muzzle deeper between his paws.

“Sugar freak!” Hijikata yelled, his feathers ruffled and cheeks hot. “Get your ass _out here_!”

Gintoki finally came out with a stick of dango in his mouth and he absently scratched his stomach on his way to the desk. There was only one ball left on the stick when he pulled it out of his mouth and held it under Sadaharu's nose.

“It's not your seat, you know. It's only on loan right now.”

Hijikata held the binder protectively to his chest. “'Course I know that!”

Using the dango as bait, Gintoki lured the dog away and Hijikata's lip curled at the drool left behind.

“There should be a Patriot in the bottom drawer,” Gintoki said as he plonked down on the right sofa and finally treated the dog to the dango.

Hijikata found the Patriot and pulled off what he'd need to clean the desk off. He wished he had some wipes or disinfectant, but he'd just have to deal with what he had and be grateful for it. When he finally felt safe enough to sit, he opened the binder, but paused as he remembered something from the night before.

“We'll be seeing a doctor soon.”

Gintoki scratched at the dog's chin and didn't look over. “Guess so.”

“Kondo told you?”

“He mentioned it.”

“You don't seem so excited about that.”

“I don't really get along with doctors.”

“Because?”

Gintoki smirked. “They expect me to cooperate.”

“How dare they,” Hijikata said flatly and began organizing the paperwork because _of course_ Sougo was a fucking ass and had to screw it all up as best he could before handing it over.

“I don't wanna be poked and prodded at.”

“No more than I do, but we have to see this guy.”

“I know,” Gintoki replied and he sounded distracted – never mind that the dog was using his hand as a chew toy. “I'm gonna go sit with the AC.”

“You do that.” Gintoki only got as far as the hall before Hijikata called out, “Don't fall asleep in front of it! I will _not_ be dealin' with sickness!”

Gintoki made a noise and did a hand flopping wave over his right wing, but then he was out of sight. Right away, Hijikata  _ relished _ the time to give himself to his work and get lost in it. Headache be damned, he was good at his job and he was going to get stuff done. Kondo would be impressed with him once he saw how much he'd finished in such a short amount of time and because of that, he'd be counted on more. He ignored it whenever a wing jerked and messed up his sentence, he simply fixed it and kept going. His fingers cramped, he got ink on his fingers, and his eyes hurt under the strain, but he kept going. 

Until Gintoki walked out and Hijikata didn't notice him until he set a mayonnaise bottle with a fresh cup of coffee onto the desk. Hijikata squinted at it, his face crumpling up, then looked up at Gintoki with the same expression.

“What's this for?”

“Are we going to the pond today?”

Hijikata squinted harder and slowly moved the mayonnaise toward himself, just in case. “Dunno, are your bruises better?”

“Old news, those are fine.”

“In a day? They're fine in a _day_?”

“Fine is fine, are we going to the pond or not, Oogushi-kun?”

Hijikata looked down at the mayonnaise bottle tucked safely in the curve of his arm. “Don't call me that. Is this some kind of bribe?”

“In a way... the kids told me last night that they wanna come.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Let them come so they can laugh at me? I don't think so.”

Gintoki snorted. “No, they wouldn't. They'll be more focused on playing than making fun of you. Now, _teasing_ they'll do, but I tease you, too, that doesn't mean anything.”

“Whoever is in the front seat is gonna die by wing punching.”

“Not if it's Kagura.”

“Right, she'll just break my wing instead.”

“So, shove both of them in the back with me.”

Hijikata's cheeks inflamed in irritation and he could feel his brow starting to tick. He didn't want the kids to come with them, he couldn't think of a scenario where that would turn out well for himself. They'd _tease_ him, as Gintoki put it, and he wouldn't want to do his exercises, he'd just sit there by the bank in the shallows. What would they do if they found out he couldn't go into the deeper water? His wings ruffled up and pulled in close to his body as if the sheer dread he felt was enough to subconsciously make him want to protect himself.

But then the full weight of his aches hit him and he winced. “How long have I been workin'?”

“Few hours, I think.”

Hijikata glared at him. “You fell asleep, didn't you?”

“Might've, not telling.”

“If you catch a cold –”

“In this heat? I don't think things like colds exist in this kind of weather.”

“That is the stupidest logic.”

There was a crash from the hall and Kagura came running in, yelling, “Gin-chan! Ladies 4 is coming on!”

She always knew _exactly_ when that program was coming on, Hijikata felt like she had an internal timer to let her know. A sixth sense or whatever, it was fucking weird.

“TV is all yours!” Gintoki turned his attention back to Hijikata and raised a brow. “So? What's it going to be? Don't forget I brought that bottle of mayo.”

Hijikata reflexively held it tighter to him. “I – ah... not today. But next time?”

“If I agree to that, you're not allowed to get cranky when they join us.”

“...fine.”

Gintoki grinned. “Good, it's a deal.”

“I'll need _two_ bottles of mayo when we take them.”

“I'll be sure to let Shinpachi know.”

Hijikata sighed. “I take it you want to leave now?”

“Whatever gave you that impression?”

“The coffee is in a to-go cup.”

“I guess it is, isn't it? I wouldn't mind leaving now... if you wanted.”

“Learn some tact,” Hijikata muttered, then stood and waved Gintoki off. “Get your shit and we'll go.”

He wasn't thrilled about going to the pond, but his whole body was aching from sitting there so long, he needed to get out. The crazy thing was that once he drank some of the coffee, his headache receded and he felt better. He hadn't eaten much for the day and hadn't wanted to risk coffee lest his stomach decided to recoil and hurl it all back up. He hadn't even wanted to smoke any cigarettes until his stomach settled, the last thing he needed was associating the smell of cigarettes to vomiting, that would be tragic.

Stuff collected, they put on their blankets and headed down the stairs. It was obviously afternoon, though, Hijikata didn't know the current time. It was really different not living by a strict hour by hour schedule, but it was also _kind of_ nice – not that he wouldn't take his old life sans wings back in a fucking millisecond given the chance. Once they got in the car, Hijikata extended his wing back until Gintoki grabbed a hold of it; in the rear view mirror it was nothing but white feathers and an ugly perm. Gintoki was quiet the whole way as he ate some dango and Hijikata was sure there were sticky fingers touching his wing, but he figured he'd be getting wet soon anyway.

“Did you remember to bring sunscreen?” Hijikata asked when the pond came into view.

“Mhmm,” came the muffled reply since he had food in his mouth. “Brought the umbrella too since it's still so ungodly hot. I'm also trying to figure out why we don't swim in our swim trunks, it'd be cooler than being out fully clothed.”

“I thought it was because our clothes are so damn hard to take on and off.”

“Yeah... but couldn't we just go when we get up? Take off our pajama, go to the pond in our swimsuits, then change into our clothes when we're done and showered, you know?”

“That sounds so complicated the way you said it. You're really chatty all the sudden, you getting a sugar rush or high or whatever sugar freaks get?”

“Possibly.” Gintoki leaned forward and pushed his hand under Hijikata's wing to proffer a plate. “Brought a couple of your mayonnaise onigiri, you have to eat them or I'll be hauling your heat stroked ass around and I don't wanna do that.”

Hijikata glared as he took one. “What makes ya say that?”

“Puh-lease, I've spent, like, all day in the kitchen, I know you haven't eaten anything. I even thought you were going to upchuck when I gave Sadaharu a piece of my dango. But onigiri will be easy on your stomach, especially without the seaweed.”

“You've definitely had way too much sugar,” Hijikata replied with his second bite shoved into his right cheek so he could speak somewhat clearly.

He parked and devoured the second rice ball, it was the perfect snack to get him going. It didn't feel heavy in his gut and wouldn't give him cramps from moving around, plus, those combined with the coffee gave him a much needed wave of energy. By the time they got out of the car, he felt steady on his feet and got a head start while Gintoki lathered all exposed skin with sunscreen. It was going to be a very easy day with nothing too strenuous for either of them, but that was okay. The heat was as unrelenting as ever, the sheer force of the humidity felt like an actual _weight_ and that was all kinds of fucked up, especially when it sucked the air right out of his lungs.

Gintoki moved to the water a lot slower than usual and Hijikata couldn't see him doing much more than reclining for the day. Despite Gintoki's insistence that all his bruises and aches were fine, Hijikata knew better than to believe it. It at least gave Hijikata some solace that Gintoki wouldn't go jumping out of trees on this trip and he seriously doubted he'd do it in front of his kids. So, that was at least two trips where Gintoki wouldn't be a complete reckless dumbass.

They did their own things for awhile, Gintoki took to being on his back and using his wings to propel him around. Hijikata stretched and walked, the water balancing him as much as the mud his feet were sinking into was unbalancing him. He bent his knees and got himself wet all the way up to his neck to keep him cool and splashed water on his face. He used his fingers to thread the water through his hair and for a time, that kept his bangs out of his face.

“Why don't you ever go in the deeper water?”

Hijikata almost tripped on some mud after a step. “'C-cause I'm more likely to drown than I am to swim.”

“How do you figure?”

“Simple, if I'm in the deep end and my wings freak out, I might not be able to make it up to the surface in time.”

He expected to be mocked for that, but Gintoki just kept slowly floating about. “Huh, never thought of that.”

There was but a pause of silence before Gintoki laughed quietly and Hijikata immediately got defensive, snapping, “What's so damn funny?”

“Nothing, just – god, if anyone was just watching us, they'd probably be so confused. Here's me floating around like a lame turtle and there's you walking in weird circles and shapes, we must look ridiculous.”

“Pretty sure the wings would draw the most attention.”

“Oh... yeah.”

“You forgot about the wings, didn't you?”

Gintoki disappeared underwater in answer.

They made it a quick trip and Hijikata knew it was going to be an early night to bed for both of them. The sun was hitting the horizon by the time they got back to the apartment and Gintoki had been yawning the entire ride back. He showered first and went straight for his room after checking on his girl, but Hijikata forced himself to stay up a little longer. He wanted to be able to go right to sleep and wake up early as was per his usual, he didn't want to stray from his routine. So, he took his shower after some more work and by the time he joined Gintoki in the room, his eyes were drooping almost all the way down. He unfolded his futon and lowered himself onto his back, his tired body limp before his head was down.

-o-O-o-

The next day, Hijikata was sitting alone at the kotatsu in the kitchen reading up on some of the changes that were going to be taking effect within the next month. They were just little things, small adjustments to protocol for a variety of things, but it was part of Hijikata's job to be up to par with that stuff. Kondo had stopped by only a half hour before to drop some new things off and he _had_ been impressed with everything Hijikata had managed to do in a day – a day he'd been hungover, no less. It was almost noon and Hijikata had had a fulfilling, productive morning full of coffee, cigarettes, and a decent meal. He felt good and was fully engrossed in the fine print when a paper airplane came soaring in and crash landed into the floor within his reach.

He looked at the doorway, reasonably suspicious, but no one was there. Feeling relatively safe, he grabbed the piece of paper and started to open it just as a second paper airplane came in and bonked into his shoulder. He glared at the doorway this time, but again, there was no sign of anyone and his unease was mounting. He left the second one where it had landed and decided to open them in the order they flew in.

The first one read: “Living room. Come at once if convenient.”

While the second one said: “If inconvenient come anyway.”

What the fuck was Hijikata supposed to make of that? He really had no idea and the handwriting was definitely Gintoki's, it looked just like the almost illegible scrawl he'd seen in the notepad when he'd taken a peek awhile back. He was reluctant to get up and go into the living room, he felt like something or someone was going to pop out at any moment. The apartment had been quiet for quite awhile, he'd just assumed Gintoki was taking a nap or looking at one of his Jumps.

Grinding his teeth, he slowly got up and made his way over to push the flap out of his way. He walked down the short hall to the living room and it took a moment, but he spotted Gintoki sitting motionless behind his desk. He was facing the closed window so his back was to Hijikata and something inside him deflated when he saw that Gintoki was wearing a black old fashioned top hat. His wings were pulled in and the tips brushed against the floor where some stray ones had fallen and started to amass.

“Salutations,” Gintoki greeted in a low voice without turning.

“What –”

“There's been some mischief afoot in Kabukichou these days,” Gintoki interrupted, his voice remaining low and steady.

Confused as fuck, Hijikata looked around the apartment, but it was empty and nothing really seemed out of place. It crossed his mind that maybe Gintoki had finally gone completely stir crazy and had lost his mind for real. The guy was so unstable and spontaneous as it was, it was likely he'd cracked and was ready for the looney bin. Really, Hijikata was prepared for anything, Gintoki had a way of keeping him on his toes. But this? This was just plain weird – though, to be fair, he'd seen the Yorozuya up to weirder things.

Hijikata shuddered, the centaur mascot didn't need to be mentioned – the _beard_ though... he got the disgusted chills again.

“Fascinating, isn't it?” Gintoki turned slowly – his wing tips making a hushing sound against the floor – elbows propped on the armrests, fingers steepled, and Hijikata could just  _ stare. _ Not only was Gintoki wearing that top hat, but he had a monocle on his right eye and a thin black mustache over his top lip that curled a little on the ends. He motioned to the window to let Hijikata know he was referring to what was outside and said, “There's much to be learned from the goings on of this district.”

Hijikata's right eyebrow twitched. “Baka yarou... what the hell are you doing?”

“Shhh, Lestrade, shhh, now is not the time to be quibbling about fruitless things.”

“Oh, god... Yorozuya... _no_....”

“Holmes!”

Hijikata startled slightly as Kagura came dashing through the door wearing a _vest_ of all things. Oddly enough, he wasn't at all surprised to see a smaller version of the mustache Gintoki had resting below her nose.

“Ah, Watson, good timing. What did the crone from downstairs have to say?”

“There's been a crime!” Kagura announced with gusto. “Some of her liquor went missing!”

“A thief!” Gintoki cried and his wings stretched out farther. “Did she have any clues that might help us reveal the culprit?”

Kagura reached into her vest, but paused and gave Hijikata the stink eye. “You sure we should be talking about this stuff in front of Lestrade?”

“So far the Inspector is on our side, if he crosses us, we hang him.”

She seemed to mull that over a moment, still squinting, but then she nodded and pulled out a piece of paper. “She described him to me and I was able to make a rough sketch of him. She said he was big and loud and only managed to escape because he tripped and accidentally knocked down a stack of recyclable empty boxes that hadn't been taken out to the alley yet.”

“Well done, old chap! Let's see it!”

Hijikata watched Gintoki open the folded paper and couldn't hold in an unattractive snort at the crudely drawn image that was _clearly_ meant to be Gintoki. He got two pairs of glares and he quickly schooled his features into something flat and unrevealing, but he was still somewhat amused. The hair was sticking out in all directions, his eyes were offset, his body misshapen and covered in something dark that Hijikata could only think was the blanket to hide his wings when he went outside, really, for so much scribbling the picture did a pretty good job of capturing the essence of Gintoki.

“I think he's innocent,” Gintoki said, studying the picture.

“Why?”

“Surely a man as handsome as this can be trusted.”

It took everything Hijikata had to bite his tongue and not make a sound and he _still_ found himself on the receiving end of Gintoki's pointed glare. Hijikata tried to look innocent and shrug, but he wasn't sure he was all that convincing, not like he was really trying to be, anyway.

“I don't know, Holmes,” Kagura said, staring at the drawing with narrowed eyes. “Something's fishy about this guy.”

“Let's ask Lestrade's opinion. Inspector?”

Hijikata froze up and his right wing jerked outward, making him stumble to right himself. He was stuttering as he did it and he could feel his face heating up because they were both staring at him. His wing kept twitching and he grabbed onto it to see if he could get it stop, but Gintoki and Kagura kept staring at him for an answer.

“Ah...” his feet shuffled, “I've g-got work to do.”

It was horrifying when the two shared a look and Kagura said, “You're acting kind of nervous, Inspector, like you've got something to hide.”

“N-no! I – this is your game! I need to get back to work!”

“Game?” Gintoki asked, head tilting and wings raising. “The game is afoot, Inspector! Join us now and help us bring this thief to justice!” He held up the picture again. “What's fishy about this guy?”

Hijikata hated this.

He didn't play games or waste time on tomfoolery, but now he was faced with the arduous task of dealing with it and he didn't know if he had it in him. What – _how_ was he supposed to be indulgent for such ridiculous things? His hands felt clammy with sudden anxiety and he didn't like feeling trapped like this. What if he said the wrong thing? Then he'd just be a disappointment and he didn't want that.

“His e-eyes,” Hijikata finally replied, wings sagging in defeat, “they're fishy in a dead kind of way.” Gintoki pouted at him and it gave Hijikata the gull to add, “He's definitely a shady fellow, but he doesn't look smart enough to pull off a crime.”

At that, Gintoki stared at him with his patent dead fish eyes and slowly folded the paper back up. “I say he looks plenty smart, but too innocent to be a heathen.”

Kagura was oblivious to their silent conversation of subtext as she began to pace and stroke her mustache. “I suppose this man could have just been a customer that got startled by her, she never said she saw him with the booze or not.”

“He does look like the scaredy cat type,” Hijikata mumbled and Gintoki stuck his tongue out at him. He sneered back and took that opportunity to try and leave, but once he took a single step away, Kagura was there to push him back away from the door. Resigned, Hijikata asked, “What other... crimes have there been?”

“Theft, arson, public indecency, and uh...” her face screwed up as she thought, “v-vanda....”

“Vandalism,” Hijikata offered.

“Ah, yes! Vandalism! All done within the span of almost two days! If we don't catch this guy Kabukichou will never be safe! We need more clues, ask around, see if anyone saw something.”

“A riveting deduction, Watson. I daresay you're onto something,” Gintoki said, leaning back in his chair and pulling out a medium sized plastic pipe from who knew where. He put it in his mouth and blew in it causing some bubbles to float out of the top. Hijikata's expression flattened as he stared – something he'd been doing a lot of since entering the room – and Gintoki motioned with a hand, saying around the pipe, “Please, go on.”

“I'm going back to work,” Hijikata said with force this time, the goddamn pipe was the last straw to his tolerance for this time consuming charade.

“You can't!” Kagura snapped. “We need statements, documents, all that boring stuff. You're the straight man, you deal with it!”

Hijikata blinked, shoulders drawing up slightly, caught like a deer in headlights.

A sound at the door was his saving grace and Gintoki called out smoothly even though no one knocked, “Enter.”

Shinpachi walked in, saw Gintoki and Kagura, then snorted. “Good to see you're working hard to find Kagura and I a job.”

“Well, if it isn't Mrs. Hudson,” Gintoki replied, wriggling a brow as Hijikata witnessed first hand part of Shinpachi's soul depart the room. “I'd like to inquire about some tea.”

Shinpachi groaned and Hijikata heard him mumble under his breath, “ _ Inquire. _ ” Louder, he asked sarcastically, “Should I  _ inquire _ about some crumpets for you as well?”

Gintoki waved a careless hand. “If you so desire. I'm just rather parched, is all. And when I say tea, I mean strawberry milk.”

“Sukonbu!” Kagura yelled, then cleared her throat and said in a tone that matched Gintoki's, “Er, wait. I'd like to inquire about some crumpets, Mrs. Hudson. And by crumpets I mean sukonbu.”

Gintoki nodded sagely and dramatically blew some more bubbles from his pipe. “Better get some dango as well, this case is growing more dangerous by the minute.”

Shinpachi deadpanned. “About that job –“

“Parched!” Gintoki blurted. “And perishing! Look at my complexion! I'm only a couple meals away from becoming transparent!”

Hijikata sort of tuned out while the three of them suddenly started to bicker and there was tempted to try and sneak away back off to the kitchen. Obviously the job was for the kids and it was kind of pathetic that Gintoki was _making one up –_ possibly because he didn't want them to leave and also possibly wasn't his idea, but Kagura's – through petty crimes that, likely, were all things Gintoki had done in the past. That public indecency one sounded particularly suspicious. The whole thing was stupid – the mustaches, the fucking bubble pipe, that stupid top hat, but it was... Gintoki and his kids. And despite Shinpachi's initial bemusement, Hijikata could still see he was having fun even as he screeched one thing or another about needing money for things.

There _was_ work to be done, _real_ work – for Hijikata and the Shinsengumi. Paperwork and assignments and schedules to make, but... he could spare... a little time for this, stupid as it was. He had a feeling that if he actually tried to leave, Kagura might grab onto him and throw him back into the room. Besides, if he wanted to keep the peace while he was there he'd have to make some sacrifices and he had so little pride left already thanks to his uncooperative wings, what more did he have to lose, really?

“Highly suspect!” Gintoki was proclaiming to whatever the hell Shinpachi had just said.

“Shut up, all a'ya!” Hijikata yelled, silently cursing the heat that entered his cheeks. “W-we'll never get this guy by bickering at each other!”

The humiliation was worth it, Hijikata decided. Gintoki smirked and sat back down to blow bubbles from his pipe, Kagura _grinned_ , and there was a certain look of approval that passed over Shinpachi's face. However, Hijikata regretted _everything_ when Kagura took a step toward him, her smile something evil now.

“You're not dressed for work, Lestrade.” She looked at Shinpachi next. “And neither are you, Mrs. Hudson.”

The blood had drained from Hijikata's face, he'd never considered having to wear a goddamn _costume_. He wanted to refuse, say no, retreat, hide in the kitchen until it was over, but all hope of escaping faded the moment the young Yato grabbed onto him and Shinpachi and dragged them off with Gintoki getting up to trail behind. Hijikata looked back to glare at him, his black wings so ruffled it was hard to see passed them, but Gintoki just smiled around the pipe as he blew more bubbles.

**To Be Continued**

 


	13. Flap Flap Motherfuckers I'm a Titling Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are they going to kiss or something? Anything? Read and find out. Also, there's a visit from a doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Maddy, I hereby throw this chapter at you specifically. For a lot of things. But I don't want to get all disgusting and smoozy, so I'm only going to mention the stunning birthday and christmas presents you drew me! Thank you so, so much – for that and more! //tosses chapter

 “Talk to me.” Hijikata stared harder at his papers and Gintoki let out an exasperated sigh. “You've ignored me for four hours! You can't _still_ be mad!” There wasn't a word or a glance sent Gintoki's way. “C' _mon_! It was fun!”

Hijikata threw his pen and it smacked right in the center of Gintoki's forehead before clattering to the floor. “It was embarrassing! I had to wear a _costume_!”

“It was a good costume!” Some ink dribbled down toward Gintoki's nose and when he rubbed at the offended spot, it smeared on his face. “You got to be Chief of police! You even got to arrest me once!”

“It should've been twice, you piece of shit! I _know_ you're the one that ate the leftovers from the party!”

“There's a Yato in the apartment! A _Yato_! Food going missing happens all the time! You can set something down when you're alone and she can _sense_ its defenselessness, then attack when you're not looking!”

“That's the same speech as yesterday!”

“It should tell ya something that the story hasn't changed! I didn't eat that food!”

“You _did_! You're the only one that could've! You're like a goddamn child, can't leave ya alone for a second!”

Gintoki smirked. “For someone that's so,” he raised his hands and air quoted, “ _embarrassed_ ,” end air quote, “you sure are getting heated over this.”

“Because you're a liar. Lying should be against the law.”

“Hmm... you never did put me under oath.”

“You shouldn't have to be under oath to tell the truth! You should just do it!” Hijikata couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't take Gintoki seriously at all and so pointed to his own forehead. “There's... somethin' on your face.”

Gintoki tried to look up, but obviously couldn't see, so just started randomly rubbing, which inevitably only made the smearing worse. He looked down and saw all the black on his hands, but instead of doing the logical thing of going to wash it off, he just kept rubbing. With an impatient noise, Hijikata grabbed some tissue off the Patriot in one of the drawers and got up. He smacked Gintoki's hand away and grasped his chin to keep him from trying to look away. The dumbass actually _whined_ when Hijikata started scrubbing the ink off and Gintoki tried batting at him with his stupid flappy hands while his wings ruffled.

“Quit movin'! You're lucky I'm not usin' my spit to clean it off!”

At that, Gintoki held perfectly still and Hijikata swore that in that instant that he more resembled a kicked puppy than ever. He finished and shoved Gintoki's face away, grumbling to himself the whole time about the alarming stupidity of people with permy hair. He went back to the desk and he thought he heard Gintoki mumble something containing the word _innocent,_ so he ignored it. There was no way Gintoki was innocent, Hijikata _knew_ , he fucking _knew_ that Gintoki was guilty, the bastard just wouldn't fess up to it like the goddamn coward he was.

The whole dressing up thing had been a giant waste of time... _but_ Shinpachi had made them some damn good snacks. He'd had to fight Kagura for his share and he wasn't proud of cracking the kotatsu, but food had been on the line and he'd been hungry. It wasn't easy being Inspect – Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi, it was calorie burning work.

Face pinking, he set back to his paperwork and paid no mind to Gintoki's rustling around. The moron was probably exhausted from fawning over Ketsuno Ana all morning, god knew that took at least half of what little energy he had for anything. It was set to be another blisteringly hot day according to the weather girl – which Gintoki had screeched about, “ _Did you hear what she said? She's talking to me! She's telling me to be careful in the heat and to stay hydrated!”_ Hijikata wasn't concerned with the temperature since, to his knowledge, they weren't going to go to the pond and so could just stay in the air conditioning until it was time to go back to the barracks.

Hijikata's phone rang and it startled him right out of his work. He glanced up and Gintoki was gone, the TV was off, and there were no kids to be seen. How long had he been working? Shaking his head, he snapped his phone open after reading the caller ID and greeted Kondo with more respect than he spared any of his underlings. It was a short conversation and it left Hijikata with latent nerves tightening in his gut, but he studiously ignored the feeling.

“Oi! Natural perm!” He didn't hear a reply, so called louder, “Perm! Where are ya?”

“Bedroom!” Gintoki replied, his voice muffled by the closed door.

Hijikata walked that way and cursed when he stumbled slightly because his wing shifted unexpectedly. He didn't fall and it wasn't as dramatic as it used to be, but it was still annoying enough for him to want to punch something. Preferably something permy.

“Are you decent?” Hijikata asked, rapping on the door a few times.

“I dunno, I wouldn't say I'm half bad.”

Hijikata hit his forehead against the door. “Are you _clothed_ , dumbass?”

“Ah... kinda. Get in here and talk to me.” Hijikata went inside and gurgled on a snort. “Yeah...” Gintoki swayed a little where he stood, “mind lending a hand?”

Gintoki was standing at an odd angle, his wings and arms raised high because he was tangled up in his shirt. He was trying to put it on, but he'd gotten it snagged halfway along one of his wings and it was stretching the fabric tight, so tight that he couldn't move it on or off. It took everything in Hijikata not to let out a disgusting sound like a laugh as he went over to Gintoki and grabbed his wing. He moved it to the side and ignored Gintoki's jerk of protest.

“It's so nasty that you're peelin'.”

“Can't exactly help that, asshole.”

“You should put some lotion on that, it's seriously nasty.”

“Your face is nasty.”

“This'll be easier if you hold still.”

“It's hard! This is uncomfortable!”

“Why didn't you say somethin' sooner?”

“You were busy....”

Hijikata's brows furrowed at that and he maneuvered the wing to slowly slide it through the shirt slit. “That doesn't mean you can't bother me for some help. What would you have done if I hadn't come knockin'?”

“Stood here until I figured it out,” Gintoki replied.

Pausing, Hijikata narrowed his eyes at Gintoki. “How long have you been standing here like this?”

“...I don't know.” His body twitched. “Could you...? This is starting to hurt.”

“Just say somethin' next time,” Hijikata said gruffly and pulled a little harder than was necessary.

“Mm... didn't you come here for a reason?”

“Yeah, we gotta leave soon.”

Gintoki sighed as his wing finally went through the rest of the way and the shirt slid down properly. “Leave?”

“Our appointment with the doctor got bumped up, can you be ready to go in fifteen?”

“Do we have to?”

“Yes.”

“You're sure?”

“Do you _want_ to be hit?”

“No... can we get snacks on the way?”

“How do you suggest we do that?”

“Ah... go... get them? Stop on the way?”

“For a guy with wings you sure do forget you have them a lot.”

Gintoki harrumphed. “Can you call Jimmy and send him out?”

“He's working, I can't stop him for something so stupid.”

“You've called him for stupider things!”

“Mayonnaise and cigarettes aren't stupid, they're a necessity.”

“Gimme your phone! I'll call Okita-kun!”

Hijikata snorted so hard he choked. “That'll be the day! If it'll get your ass in the car, here ya go!”

He tossed Gintoki his phone – thank god Gintoki actually caught it – and they parted ways to get ready. Gintoki was quick to throw whatever belongings he wanted into a bag and that was where Hijikata left him to go pile and tie the paperwork up. He'd wanted to have it done before they went over, but it looked like he was going to have a late night instead to stay on track with it.

“Okita-kun!” Hijikata heard Gintoki sing in the next room and he rolled his eyes. “We're coming over early and I need food!”

Almost convulsing, Hijikata got out of ear shot, he didn't want to hear the sadist love birds negotiating. Exactly fifteen minutes later, Hijikata had his phone back and they were both by the door donning their cover to go outside. The wave of heat that hit them was so dry it stole the breath right out of Hijikata's lungs. Gintoki wasn't much better and he even tried to go back inside. He would have, too, if Hijikata hadn't grabbed a hold of him and yanked him back out. Coughing, Hijikata pulled and dragged Gintoki to the stairs to make sure he followed and made sure to push him to go down first. He couldn't see the cigarette burn mark from his vantage point because of the blanket, but he was aware it was there.

It was a short drive over and Gintoki didn't say a word, which was somewhat strange. Hijikata knew he was apprehensive or something about the doctor, but surely he understood the importance of it, right? God, Hijikata hoped he cooperated and didn't do something to embarrass him. Gintoki would be at the barracks, so anything he did there would reflect on the Shinsengumi and Hijikata wouldn't tolerate misbehavior.

Hijikata parked and took up his pile of Paperwork-san, saying, “Grab my bag, would ya?”

“Got it.”

Gintoki followed Hijikata around the side to his room and it looked like he wanted to pull of the futon already. He just had that _look_ about him, but he never made it to the closet because of a mysterious knock on the door. Hijikata didn't need to call out because Gintoki was flaunting his way over to answer it, a new energy in his step that hadn't been there since the weather girl was on. Sougo stood in the doorway with a brown paper bag in one hand and a single serving of strawberry milk in the other.

“ _What_?” Hijikata snapped as they made the exchange. “I can't get you to do a goddamn thing, but you'll get him snacks?”

“He asked nicely.”

Hijikata scowled, he should definitely have paid closer attention to that conversation. Next time, he was totally going to eavesdrop to try and decipher what in the actual fuck Gintoki did to get Sougo to be compliant. They probably had some really sordid exchange, but fuck it if Hijikata cared!

“I'll let Kondo-san know you're here, he's talking with the good doctor right now.”

He left and Gintoki had stopped all his puttering and his wings were no longer fluffed up.

“It's not gonna be that bad,” Hijikata said with a sigh, “quit lookin' like doomsday is upon us.”

Gintoki only gave him a sidelong look, then put himself near the corner to pilfer through whatever goodies Sougo had brought him. Hijikata set about sorting through his dirty clothes and got things somewhat better organized before he heard Kondo's signature laugh in the hallway. There were sounds of doors opening and closing, then just as Hijikata had finished setting his paperwork on his desk, there was another knock.

“Come in!”

Kondo poked his head in and grinned. “Tosshi! It's good to have you back! And where's... ah! There you are, Sakata-san! It's good to see you, too! I want to catch up later with the both of you, but right now I have doctor Wan in the next room waiting for you two. He's on a really tight schedule and I don't really think he believes what I told him, so he's impatient.”

Gintoki's wings drew in as close to his body as the feathers brushing the floor would allow. “There's only one kind of doctor I get along with and this doesn't sound like a middle-aged female.”

“Doctor Wan is very good at what he does and has a several published works studying avifauna. It took us a long time to find someone like him and we did a thorough background check on him. He's clean with no criminal record and it has taken a lot to get him to agree to come all the way out here, so I don't mean to rush you, but if you could come with me that'd be great.”

“This is only for some kind of physical, right?” Hijikata reaffirmed as he moved to follow, only pausing to make sure Gintoki was coming too.

“Right, just so he can have a look at you both. He might be able to tell us things we didn't know before.”

Gintoki shoved some food in his mouth and his expression flattened out. “What would a doctor really know about bird anatomy, anyway?”

“We don't know the extent of his knowledge with avian mammals, but we're more concerned with your health in general rather than the wings themselves at the moment.”

There was a hum from Gintoki just before Kondo led them into the room, one of the conference rooms that had had the large table cleared out of the way to allow more space. A very short man with large round glasses scuttled forward and a lopsided grin spread across his face when he saw them. The grin might have been unsettling if it weren't so... genuine. Weirdly genuine. Hijikata didn't trust it and he knew by the way that Gintoki crammed way too much food in his mouth that he didn't trust it, either.

“Marvelous! Oh, when you told me they had wings I never imagined this! What a time to be alive! Look at the size of them!” The man was roughly in his sixties and he was so excited he was waddling more than walking. “Which one of you is Hijikata-kun?”

He raised a hand. “I am.”

Wan faced him and bowed low. “Greetings, greetings! That must make you Sakata-kun?”

“I suppose it does,” Gintoki drawled in what could only be described as a deceptively dubious way.

“Greetings to you!” He bowed low again. “I'd like to get started right away, if that's okay? I just – I'm beside myself! I thought for sure this was some kind of ruse!”

“We understand, it's a very peculiar situation we've found ourselves in,” Hijikata said because he knew Gintoki likely wouldn't answer. “We're ready to get started when you are.”

“Excellent!' He turned to Kondo. “Thank you so much for this, I'll call for you when we're finished.”

Kondo nodded and smiled before shooting Hijikata a glance as he left. It was a look that told him to shout if he needed anything and he knew Kondo wouldn't be far, it definitely supplied some comfort.

“Now, I don't mean to be abrupt Hijikata-kun, but please take off your clothes.”

Hijikata jolted and spluttered, “ _What_?”

“Just your top half!” Wan made a motion with his hand. “I need to see you!”

“Relax,” Gintoki chided, “just take off enough to tie it around your waist.”

Gintoki was teasing him, he knew, and he looked like such a smug asshole. Wan directed Hijikata to sit, so he did, and he let Gintoki help him take off the top part of his yukata since he couldn't do it himself very well when sitting. Wan watched in bespectacled envy and Hijikata resisted the urge for his nose to curl, he didn't like being looked at with such scrutiny. He understood the importance of it, but like Gintoki, he wasn't the biggest fan of this.

Gintoki took his black top off – Hijikata almost got up to help him since he was struggling a little – and he sat down near Hijikata, his wings half-mast and neatly narrowed. It was so hard to get anything out of his expression, Gintoki usually kept his face blank and there wasn't much else to read from him beyond that. Hijikata had to hand it to him that he was at least sitting still and cooperating, it almost felt odd that he hadn't tried to swindle something out of it. Like, he behaved and Hijikata had to give him something in return. Then again, Sougo had given him some snacks and maybe that was enough to quell any rebellion.

“Alright, have either of you gotten sick since you got the wings?” They both shook their heads and Wan pulled a thermometer out of the black medical kit he'd brought with him. He walked to Gintoki, whose wings drew in closer to his body, the tips pressing hard to the floor as Wan approached, and held it out. “Open up! Under your tongue and _no chewing_!” Gintoki's nose scrunched and his eyes went cross as he looked down at the piece of glass jutting from his mouth. If Wan saw, he ignored it. “Okay, so any respiratory issues? Difficulty breathing, anything?” They shook their heads and Hijikata glanced at Gintoki when he shuffled in place on his ass. “Good, good! And I understand you've had some struggles with – oi! I said _no chewing_!” Wan threw a small roll of gauze that thunked dully against Gintoki's chest and Hijikata... wasn't sure where the hell the gauze had come from. Gintoki had quit chewing and was staring at the gauze with his head tilted to one side. “There's always one that chews, always, always! Now,” he gave Gintoki one last pointed look before turning his attention to Hijikata again, “you're having struggles with your balance, yes?”

From the corner of his eye, Hijikata saw Gintoki poke at the gauze with a finger.

“Yeah, it's pretty come and go.”

“How many times in a day do you think it happens?”

Hijikata thought for a moment. “In the beginning, I don't know, maybe twenty times a day or more? Now it's only every now and then, usually when I least expect it.”

“I see,” Wan commented and took the thermometer from Gintoki's mouth. “Hmm... interesting.” He pulled out a small notebook and jotted something down. “It's high, but I suppose that's to be expected. You don't feel feverish?” Gintoki looked puzzled and shook his head and Wan took notes. He then went back to his kit to clean off the thermometer with some kind of spray before returning to Hijikata. “Your turn, under your tongue and _no_ ,” he flicked his eyes at Gintoki, “ _chewing_.” Hijikata put it under his tongue and Wan turned fully to Gintoki. “In terms of balance, you've been otherwise unaffected?”

Gintoki apprehensively squinted his eyes. “You're not going to throw more medical supplies at me, are you?”

“Not unless I feel I need to.”

“Uh-huh... okay, well, for the most part, yeah. Mine don't freak out like his do.”

“Hmm – I wouldn't have thought that since yours are bigger.”

“My struggle isn't balance,” Gintoki admitted, “it's bumping into things.”

“Bumping into things?”

“Knocking things over, hitting door frames, that kinda stuff.”

“I'd assume because of their size it makes it hard for you.”

“Forgetting they're there, too.”

“I see....” Wan took the thermometer from Hijikata's mouth and hummed. “You have a raised temperature as well, how fascinating! It's even a little higher than Sakata-kun's, I wouldn't have guessed that.”

“What do you mean by raised?” Hijikata asked.

“Both of you have a higher temperature, right between thirty-eight and thirty-nine degrees. It makes sense since, depending on the bird, their temperatures are around forty degrees, but it varies.”

“But raised temperatures are bad for us,” Hijikata said and he and Gintoki shared a quick look.

“Technically, yes, it does put more stress on your body, but you two haven't even noticed your raised temperatures, have you?” They shook their heads. “That's probably because with the addition of your wings, your body is able to withstand a higher temperature. That doesn't mean your bodies aren't under new stresses, but you've been able to function as you normally would, so I don't think, in this situation, that a raised temperature is something to worry too much about. Sometimes prolonged exposure to internal high temperatures can eventually effect the brain, especially in mammals like dogs, but humans have a higher tolerance. I'd be more concerned if it were higher than forty, then we'd have a real problem on our hands. Visually speaking, you both look to be in good health. You're not sweating, you're not having difficulty breathing, you don't feel the need to cool off even though this room is warm from the heat wave outside, and neither of you are showing distinct signs of immediate distress. Nausea is something I'd look for, that's why I asked if either of you have gotten sick. But it seems to me that other than Hijikata-kun's troubles with balance, that's the biggest difficulty between the two of you.”

For as thorough about things as Hijikata was, something like his temperature being raised hadn't even occurred to him. He felt heat as he usually did, he only felt too hot when he was outside, and he hadn't experienced any symptoms of a fever. The times he'd touched Gintoki, he hadn't felt warm to him, he'd felt normal. There was never any heat in Gintoki's cheeks, either, and the sweating was definitely a thing they only really did when outside because of the sun. Hijikata didn't like that their temperatures were higher than normal, but that there weren't any external or internal signs of damage was reassuring.

“We'd probably know if something was off with ourselves,” Hijikata said and he looked to Gintoki. “I haven't noticed anything.”

“Neither have I. Nothing big, anyway.”

Wan took more notes, then focused on Hijikata, asking, “May I start with you?”

“Sure.”

Wan came over to him and didn't do anything at first, just walked around him. Gintoki scooted away because his wings were impeding Wan's walk, but he didn't move far, just enough to make some room. Notes were scribbled into Wan's writing pad and he even drew some fairly accurate rough sketches of what Hijikata's wings looked like in shape. Some of the feathers were drawn as well, different sizing starting from the small soft ones to the larger primaries.

Hijikata followed direction when the time came and let Wan poke and prod, doing his best to set a good example that he hoped Gintoki would follow. Wan had him get up, walk forward, turn in a circle, then walk back, and he was glad that his wings were cooperating. He had to hold his arms out and bring them down while Wan took more notes and asked questions. The only uncomfortable part was when Wan asked him to bend down and touch his toes. He could do it just fine, but then his wings tilted forward too soon and he ended up on his face.

It took everything in his power not to snap at Wan for rushing over to him to try and help him. Getting asked over and over if he was alright was the most annoying thing, though, he knew it wasn't meant as anything less than sincere. Wan had him stay sitting so he could get a closer inspection and Hijikata willed his face to lose some of its heat. Gintoki had remained silent and he was watching Wan as he worked, the natural perm's face seemingly disinterested in the whole affair. Hijikata hadn't looked over after he'd fallen, he'd known he'd lose his cool if he did.

“We have been wondering something,” Gintoki began as Hijikata got pudgy little fingers all over him. “When we use our wings too much, we both get sore right here.”

“In the chest?” Wan paused just long enough to see where Gintoki was touching on himself. “Interesting, interesting. What kind of soreness?”

“There are different kinds?”

“Does it burn? Does it feel like a pulled muscle? Does it ache? Do you have muscle fasciculation?”

“What's fasciculation?”

“When your your muscles twitch spasmodically without you moving them yourself,” Wan supplied easily while still looking Hijikata over.

“Oh... no, none of that. Mostly just burning and aching, I guess.”

“Thank you for letting me know,” he paused and jotted down some notes, “I'll be sure to look into that.”

Hijikata complied with all the patience he had in his reserves and did everything that was asked of him. He moved his wings however which way Wan wanted and only got embarrassed during this part when his left one struck out unexpectedly, nearly knocking Wan off his feet – though, nothing could be more damaging to his pride than falling on his face. Wan just laughed and got back to his physical, mumbling to himself and stilling to take notes every now and again. He'd ask questions sometimes, but beyond that, he didn't speak much since he was so focused during this part.

“Alright, is there anything you'd like for me to know before I wrap you up?”

Hijikata thought a moment, then shook his head. “Not that I can think of other than the balance thing.”

“Very good, very good! Now, onto you,” Wan announced, shuffling over to Gintoki. “You both have such beautiful plumage! And your wingspan! Open them up for me, if you would, please, I'd love to see.”

Gintoki blinked a few times, then obligingly spread his wings in a quiet rustle while leaning forward to allow them room. Out and out they went, spreading so far that one brushed a wall at the tips. With his wings out like that, he took up a good portion of the room and seemed at least three or four times his size. It was an illusion, in a way, but no less impressive in its own right.

“Never in all my years could I have dreamed of actually meeting people like you,” Wan said in awe, walking around Gintoki and to continue inspecting them. “Both of you need to work on your preening, though. What do you do to preen?”

Gintoki looked over his shoulder where Wan was. “Noth...ing...? What's that?”

“Grooming of your feathers to keep them in top, healthy condition. Preening removes dust and dirt and each of you need to check yourselves for any parasites regularly. Do you molt?”

“Mold?”

“Molt. Rather, do you shed?”

Gintoki laughed and curled his wings back in. “All the time. I let off a feather bomb every time I sneeze, but we both shed everyday.”

“Good, good, both of you look healthy, but you need to start preening. You can't really do it yourselves, so you'll have to help each other and I'll show you what I think will be the best way to do it. From the looks of you, you have a very good amount of molting, there aren't any visible bald or sore spots on you. Molting replaces old or damaged feathers with new ones and the pattern for molting depends on things like the species of the bird, gender, and season. Since you're human, I have no idea what your molt cycle might be. When I was told about you, given that you were real, I figured with the amount of stress after gaining wings one or both of you would have problems with excess molting, but the two of you are handling yourselves very well, considering.” He paused and finished a quick note, his cheeks slightly red from saying all that without a breath. “Are you friends?”

“We knew each other before this happened,” Hijikata supplied without looking at Gintoki.

“How active are you? I've been told about your outings, which is great, but other than that, do you feel any different? More tired? Slower? Easily exhausted?”

Gintoki and Hijikata shared a look then and it was Gintoki who answered, “Tire easier. Sleep is about the same, but getting tired faster is definitely a thing.”

Wan was nodding. “And I assume you're eating more?”

Hijikata thought back and he supposed he _was_ eating more – and possibly more desperate for food since he'd recently fought a Yato and cracked a kotatsu for some – but it was mostly snacking while he did paperwork. His portion sizes at meals was a little bigger, but he hadn't thought that that would mean anything.

“Yeah.”

“For this case, I think that's all normal,” Wan said. “With these wings you'll need to eat more food since you're burning more energy. You move them, you operate them, it expends energy to do that, so you'll need a higher caloric intake. That explains the change in appetite as well as why you get tired easier.”

“Makes sense,” Hijikata muttered.

“From your height and weight, I suggest three to four thousand a day.”

“Ha! Now I have an excuse to eat more sweets!” Gintoki hailed and his wings ruffled, which delighted Wan to no end.

“Do you do that consciously?”

“What? The thing?” He pointed back to his wings with a thumb and Wan nodded. “Nah, they just kind of do that somehow.”

Wan circled, then touched the long feathers near the middle of Gintoki's right wing. “Truly fascinating. They're in tune with your emotions to some extent. That changes things.”

“How does that change anything?” Hijikata asked.

“It means there's something connecting a sensory to your brain. You feeling your wings touching or being touched is one thing, your wings being receptive to your emotions is another thing entirely.”

Gintoki eyed his left wing suspiciously. “Like they have a mind of their own? They're not some kind of weird parasite, are they?”

“No, no, goodness, no. They're just a part of you as your hand or foot is. Perhaps even more so, I'm not sure yet.”

“It hurts when the feathers get pulled out.”

“And they reek when they're burned.”

Wan turned on Hijikata in horror. “Why do you know such a thing? Did you burn some?”

Ducking his head, facing warming, Hijikata grumbled, “Might've awhile ago.”

“How awful!”

“It _was_ pretty tragic,” Gintoki agreed. Hijikata gave him a look and he quickly added, “Aren't there things you wanted to show us?”

“Yes, yes! Just let me finish with you first.”

Gintoki's ploy to change the subject somewhat backfired, but he did pretty well when doing the same things Hijikata had been asked to do. His face remained blank and he just went through the motions until Wan had him sit to be touched. _That_ was what Gintoki didn't handle so well, though he tried his best to hide it. It made him uncomfortable and once it even looked like he was about to strike out with his wing when Wan was pulling at it, but he refrained. He didn't look over at Hijikata once and the only real side of his discomfiture was in the way his fingers curled in his lap sometimes.

After Gintoki had been finished, Wan went through some exercises for them and showed them how to _preen_. It was weird and not something Hijikata was inclined to want to spend much time on, but he took note of everything Wan said. It was impossible to tell what Gintoki thought of the preening and the stretches, but Hijikata was sure he'd find out soon enough.

“Do you think we can fly?” Gintoki asked unexpectedly when Wan had finished his demonstrations.

“I thought about that the moment I heard about you two, but having seen you, I don't think so.”

Gintoki's shoulders and wings slumped. “Why not?”

“Birds are made for flight, people are not. They have special bones, light ones, so even if your wingspan is impressive, it's just not enough for a full grown man. The most you can do is glide... maybe, but that's inconclusive.”

“Glide,” Gintoki repeated drily, “but not fly.”

“You're men with the wings of a bird, it's not so strange that you don't have very many bird mannerisms. You're still people in heart, mind, and soul, the only thing that's bird-like about you are the wings, but those don't change who you are. There might be more bird influences that show up over time, but we won't know those until they happen.”

Hijikata couldn't deny that in that moment he was slightly relieved, though, he made sure not to show it.

“Were your bones hollowed out or something of the sort, things would be different. I'll look into it further before I return, but I'm sorry to say that they just don't seem big enough. The good news is that you both appear to me to be very healthy.”

“And flightless,” Gintoki growled under his breath.

Hijikata hit him with a wing. “Thank you for your help.”

“My pleasure, my pleasure! I'll finish running these tests and get back to you. In the meantime, keep up with those exercises and hygiene and don't forget what I told you about eating more!”

Gintoki snorted. “That one you don't need to tell us twice.”

“May I take some of your feathers back with me? I'd like to take a closer look at them, that might help me determine more about you.” He adjusted his glasses. “I don't know why something like this would happen so suddenly, but I'll do what I can to help you find out.”

They both shook their wings out and luckily, a few feathers, both white and black, fell to the floor. Wan was all too happy to collect them and he was delighted when he twirled a black one between his fingers.

“This is extraordinary,” he said with that same tooth-gapped grin, “I can't wait to get them under a microscope to get a closer look at these veins.” He carefully packed them away in his bag and spent several minutes just moving things around to make room. He seemed to triple check that the feathers were in a safe spot where they wouldn't be bent and then he was coming back to them with a couple cards in his hands. He handed one to each of them, saying, “Here are all my numbers and my address. Your Commander already has this information, but I want both of you to have it as well. Call me any time of the day or night for anything whatsoever. Please don't hesitate to call just because your stomach is a little upset and you think it's nothing. It _could_ be nothing, but it could also very well be something, so call.”

“We'll be sure to, thank you for your time,” Hijikata replied because, once again, he was fairly certain Gintoki wasn't going to say anything.

“Excellent, excellent! Let's call your Commander back in here and fill him in so I can head out and get started. Thank you both for being so cooperative and forthcoming, it was a big help!”

When Kondo got in there, Gintoki brushed his wing against Hijikata's to get his attention while Wan and Kondo spoke. He tugged lightly on the sleeve of Hijikata's yukata and all he had to do was nod for Gintoki to help him put it on. Hijikata was never really sure which was more difficult, taking clothes off or putting them on, neither venture was a pleasurable experience. With Gintoki's help, it took only a minute or two to get his yukata back on and after he tied it off, he helped Gintoki with his shirt. It seemed to him that somehow the yukata was less challenging to put on as compared to the shirt, but that was just some halfhearted musings.

After they'd finished, Wan and Kondo were still talking and the conversation didn't really require him or Gintoki to contribute. It was just a rundown of everything they'd talked about and Wan double checked to make sure Kondo had his information. It was a pretty quick goodbye and then Wan was being escorted out so Gintoki and Hijikata could return to their room. Gintoki said nothing, Hijikata had no desire to start a conversation, but he knew Gintoki's silence had more to do with the news they received than simply not wanting to talk.

Getting back to the room, Hijikata first put Wan's card somewhere safe, then sat down for some paperwork. He was still thinking about some of the things Wan said, but there wasn't anything about it that had totally surprised him. He still didn't exactly trust the doctor, but now that he'd met him, he didn't exactly not trust the doctor, either. Wan's genuine excitement and eagerness to get to work for them was reassuring. He gave the impression of a good man, but only time would tell if they'd placed their confidence in the right person.

The only thing that interrupted Hijikata's ability to get anything done was the very loud silence of Gintoki. He was stewing and when Gintoki _stewed_ , it was annoying.

“Would you quit already?” Hijikata shot out at him.

“I'm trying! I really am, but even you have to find it ironic that we're flightless dodo birds with wings that serve no purpose!”

“We're not birds! You heard him! We're people with wings, not birds!”

“People with useless wings!” Gintoki made a face. “And now we're useless people!”

“You were already useless!”

“But at least I could take my uselessness _outside_!”

“We go to the pond!”

Gintoki glared. “You know what I meant!”

There was a knock and Hijikata snapped, “What?”

“Fresh bedding!” Yamazaki announced as he came in with a big comforter in his arms.

Two grunts came in after him, arms laden with bedding, and they both set down their loads, gave their respects to Hijikata, then ran off. Hijikata was used to that kind of rushed exchange and he couldn't help but wonder if they were doing their jobs as they were supposed to. Usually, when interactions were that short, it was because they knew there were things they were neglecting or avoiding. It put a sour taste in the back of Hijikata throat – he wanted to be back to work more than anything.

“Fresh?” Gintoki asked Yamazaki, the only one who had dared stick around. “What kind of fresh? Like, fresh off the line?”

“Yes!”

Without another word, Gintoki went over to the piles and began messing with them. Yamazaki lingered a little longer, but just to let Hijikata know that more paperwork was on its way and that there were some reports that had been misfiled. It was extremely annoying that all of Hijikata's hard work had been put in the wrong place and _he_ was going to have to be the one to fix it, but there was no use getting angry about it. Yamazaki was going to bring in the totes that needed resorted later, so Hijikata had that whole mess to look forward to.

By the time Yamazaki left, Gintoki was nothing more than a pouting moron wrapped up in the sun-warmed comforter. His wings made him look huge even though they were tucked in close to his body. In all honesty, with only his face and a little bit of his permy bangs showing, he looked like a deformed and fat caterpillar. He was full on grumpy, complete with dead fish eyes and a pathetic moue. Hijikata rolled his eyes and let him have his time to sulk, it wasn't like it was confirmed that they couldn't fly or anything. What was amazing was that Gintoki even wanted to be wrapped in anything warm when the relentless heatwave was still upon them. Hijikata's room didn't have air conditioning, so it was warm, but the full weight of the heat couldn't permeate the roof or walls so it wasn't uncomfortable inside.

Hijikata shook his head and set about doing his paperwork. Now that he knew there was a bunch of resorting that needed done, he was eager to get as much finished as he could.

Twenty minutes of silence passed.

Hijikata finished a small stack and bound it up before pulling out the next stack to work on.

His pen scritched and scratched against the paper.

Thirty minutes more of silence passed.

Hijikata sighed.

“We could go to the pond today.”

The lump wriggled. “I don't feel like it.”

Well, no one could say Hijikata hadn't tried.

He went back to work and ignored it when the lump wriggled its way over to him exactly as a fat caterpillar would.

“Can I do anything?”

“No, you shouldn't be seeing any of this.”

“I don't care what any of it says, I just want something to do,” Gintoki replied, mildly affronted.

Hijikata sighed again and grabbed a stack of files. “Here, these need to be resorted. Put these in alphabetical order by last name.”

Gintoki emerged from his cocoon and sat up, but kept the comforter draped over him. He was pretty clumsy with the files at first and even dropped a couple, but Hijikata didn't comment since none of the papers had spilled anywhere. The silence between them as they worked – imagine, Gintoki actually _working_ , Hijikata almost couldn't fathom – lasted only a few minutes.

“You really arrest people for sleeping in the street?”

“If they become a problem, yeah.”

“Problem, as in?”

“If it's a repeated offense, if they get in the way, try to claim a certain spot like they're entitled to the property, that kind of stuff.”

“What about drunks?”

“Again, if it's a repeated offense. The homeless have become a big problem.”

Gintoki hummed and kept sorting, his wings so still they didn't so much as rustle. In fact, the way the comforter was draped over his wings that were raised created an almost canopy or tent over him, but it looked too warm for Hijikata at the moment. It occurred to him that Gintoki probably found arresting homeless people unbecoming, but it was Hijikata's job and some parts of it weren't very glamorous. It wasn't like Hijikata enjoyed arresting poor people and he always thought of it as at least giving them a roof over their head with a meal as opposed to disrupting their whole life. Plus, he had his orders and he couldn't go against them even if he wanted to.

“Do I have a file?”

Hijikata looked up. “File?”

“Everyone has one of these record things if they have a history. This guy,” he holds up a folder, “goes back eight years. He wasn't even arrested at first, he was just under surveillance as a suspect for something. Do I have one?”

“You do.”

“Can I see it?”

“No.”

“But it's about me.”

“It's classified information.” Hijikata went back to work and he could admit to himself that he was a little panicked. “It's not in there, so stop lookin'.”

“There's no such thing as classified information about myself!”

“Drop it! You can't see it!”

“I _can_ , but you won't let me!”

“Because it's classified!”

“But _why_ is it classified?”

“You can't see it, let it go!”

Gintoki huffed and hissed, his wings fluffed up and the ends were bent against the floor. Hijikata had to make a conscious effort to get his own wings to be less bristled. He really couldn't do anything about how hard his heart was thumping though, so he did his best to put on appearances. He'd never expected Gintoki to ask about that and it _was_ classified, he wished the moron would just drop it.

Hijikata glanced up after a few moments and when Gintoki did the same just to make a face at him, he glared and his face heated up. Thankfully though, Gintoki questioned nothing else and once he finished sorting the stack of files, he got up and stretched.

“M'hungry.”

“Bring me some mayonnaise.”

“Bastard.”

“Natural perm.”

Gintoki snorted and went for the door. “Be back in a bit.”

The comforter remained a mass on the floor and it took Hijikata exactly twenty-six seconds before it annoyed him enough to get up and fold it. He put it with the pile of clean bedding, then went back to his desk, shooing a couple stray white feathers out of the way with his feet on his way.

**To Be Continued**


	14. Long Night Here, Long Night There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki and Hijikata probably shouldn't be left alone together for extended periods of time. Heh.

This wasn't what Hijikata had signed up for.

Granted, he hadn't signed up for any of this with the whole wing business, but  _ this _ especially wasn't something Hijikata should be dealing with. He was a man of the law, a person of significant stature, a figure that superseded standard law enforcement, and he deserved better than this.

“Mayora,” Gintoki whined for the thirteenth time.

Hijikata was counting.

Thirteen.

He took a swig from his water bottle.

“Mayora.”

Fourteen.

Oh, and there were toes.

Toes hovering right near his face, literally on the edge of his peripherals.

“Mayora.”

Fifteen was Hijikata's breaking point and he sighed heavily, his wings shuddering the sigh was large. He'd hoped Gintoki would give up after seven or eight, but clearly he was attention starved and had a natural affinity for being as annoying as possible.

“What?”

“Bored.”

“Really? I couldn't tell.”

He finally smacked at Gintoki's foot only to have it move right back into place, his toes wriggling.

“Gin- _toe_ -ki... get it?”

Hijikata stiffened. “I'm gonna break off all your stupid toes if you don't get them the hell away from me.”

Gintoki screamed and yanked his foot back, but remained sprawled out – though, he did wriggle backward a little in an awkward shimmy. His wings were wide open, well, except for the one curled up against the wall so he could fit where he was stretched out. They'd been like this for maybe a half hour with Gintoki getting more and more annoying each minute. Why he'd decided to pester Hijikata, he wasn't sure, they usually did their own things during the day.

They'd only seen the doctor the day before and Hijikata was unaccountably thrown off by the sudden awkwardness between himself and Gintoki now. He didn't know where it was even coming from and he was pretty sure it was only him feeling this way. It was just strange that it was only them. At the apartment they'd be alone together, but Gintoki's kids were there most of the time. It wasn't like he missed the kids or anything, it was just different not having that buffer anymore. Shinpachi and Kagura were Gintoki's focal points and he paid a lot more attention to them than he let on, so to not have that kind of distraction for Gintoki anymore was a bit annoying.

Hijikata had been up for few hours, but Gintoki had only just started to rouse. He'd been awake for maybe an hour, but spent most of that hour lounging on the futon dozing. Hijikata wasn't ashamed to admit that he purposefully made louder than average noises – pen against the desk, clearing his throat, dropping his lighter, etc – when Gintoki dozed a little too much and started to snore. It was barely after noon and Hijikata had decided that Gintoki had slept enough for one night.

Gintoki's form of rousting was coming over to Hijikata and bothering him. Now that he'd been told off, Gintoki returned to the futon, grabbed a Jump and shoved his pillow underneath his head to help prop him up while he read. It was amazing to Hijikata in a _very_ distant sense that Gintoki didn't have to pee. In the apartment, the bathroom was one of the first places Gintoki went, but here he barely left the futon, the only exception being to bother Hijikata. There was only a moment earlier when Gintoki's had foot left the barrier of the futon, but it had quickly gotten pulled back in. The heat from outside was permeating the room, but not enough to make either of them uncomfortably hot. Even still, Hijikata contemplated calling Yamazaki sometime to get a fan in there for them. It would be worth stirring up their loose feathers if it meant they could have a chance to cool off a little.

“You need a TV,” Gintoki said suddenly, maybe a half hour had passed.

“There's one around here somewhere.”

“Where?”

“It moves around,” Hijikata shrugged, “we tape shows sometimes.”

“That would mean I'd have to go hunting for it, wouldn't it?”

Well, Hijikata didn't really want him wandering around and he sure as hell wasn't going to accompany him.

“I have a radio.”

“Does it also move around?”

“No,” Hijikata gave him a long-suffering look, “it's in my closet.”

“Is that an invitation for me to look for it?”

“If you must.”

Gintoki got up and prowled over to Hijikata's closet to begin looking. It didn't bother Hijikata at all to have Gintoki messing around in his stuff, he had nothing to hide in his closet. Gintoki bumped into the door as he poked around and managed to hit his head on one of the shelves. Hijikata sighed and stared desolately at the yukatas Gintoki managed to drop on the floor. To his credit, he did pick them up, but Hijikata knew they were just being shoved back inside instead of folded and placed back where they'd come from.

“Found it!” Gintoki cried, but Hijikata had the suspicion he was talking to himself, so he didn't reply.

Dragging the radio out, Gintoki sat down on his futon and put the radio in front of him. Hijikata was just about ready to go back to work, but noticed the split second in which Gintoki just _stared_ at the device.

“You do know how to work that thing, right?”

“It's a radio. I'm a little slow with some things, but I'm not totally inept, asshole. I have a radio, too, it's just... different than this one.”

Hijikata took that for what it was and went back to work, but before long he was watching, amused, as Gintoki fiddled with the knobs and buttons, his lack of know how blatant. He tapped at it and his brows slowly went down in confusion the longer he couldn't puzzle it out. There was no way he was going to ask for help, Hijikata knew that, so he chose to ignore him and leave him to struggle. The only time he looked back up was when there was a click, a crack, and a yelp.

Some of the radio had fallen apart... Gintoki poked at one of the pieces as if that would fix it.

“What were you saying just now? It was something about not being inept, I think.”

Gintoki shot him a dirty look. “You shut up.”

“What did you even do? Those wires aren't supposed to be sticking out like that.”

“I didn't do anything! I was just poking at it a bit and it exploded.”

“It didn't explode, just put the backing back on it and – no! No, not like that! Put the thing, yeah, that thing, put it – no! Goddamn, you're stupid! Bring it here!”

Miffed, Gintoki scooped up the radio and all its little bits so he could bring it over. He cradled it in his hands and shuffled to Hijikata on his knees, his wings spread out to give him better balance. He had his tongue sticking partially out of his mouth in concentration and, to Hijikata, he was putting altogether _way_ too much effort into bringing over a stupid radio. Gintoki gingerly set it down on Hijikata's desk, only allowing a relieved smile once all the parts were safely out of his hands.

“There,” Gintoki sat back on his knees with a nod, “fix it.”

Unable to resist the urge to roll his eyes, Hijikata put the wires back where they were supposed to go and slipped the backing on. He clipped a knob into place and pushed a pin into the panel on the back to keep it from falling out again. It was an easy thing to reassemble and he was aware Gintoki was watching his every move throughout the entirety of it. Once it was back together the way it was pre-Gintoki, Hijikata made a show of tilting the radio just enough to show Gintoki what he was doing, then slid the little black switch there into the _on_ position. The radio buzzed to life in a wave of static and Gintoki, absurdly, grinned and gave him a short applause that was suspiciously lacking in sarcasm. In fact, to Hijikata's great consternation, Gintoki looked relieved, like he'd been worried he'd actually hurt the damn thing.

What a fucking weird guy.

“There,” Hijikata slid it closer to Gintoki over the desk, “you can put it on whatever you want, but nothing too loud.”

“Whatever I want?”

Backpedalling, Hijikata took a moment to really think that over. Agreeing would give Gintoki too many things to annoy him with – the bastard would try to find the most bothersome thing, he knew – but declining would mean setting specific things he wouldn't allow and that just sounded like one big time consuming hassle that would take away from his work time. Gintoki tapped a couple fingers against the desk to get his attention and Hijikata glared at him, it was like having a grown ass child around.

“Just – fuck it, just start searching and I'll let ya know if it's okay.”

Gintoki crossed his arms. “I need your permission?”

“Of course, you're in my room.”

“I have my own futon, that's like my personal bubble. My...territory or whatever. The domain where Gin-san rules, if I take it there then you don't get a say in shit.”

The compulsory tick in Hijikata's brow had been becoming a more and more taxing problem lately. Before long he feared he'd just reflexively start twitching and ticking every time Gintoki opened his stupid, useless mouth. His wings were shifting slightly, the feathers against the floor brushing with a too loud rustle that made him grow more disquiet.

“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“You're right, there are others, but everything else on the list came from you as well.”

“You have a list?”

“A mental one.” His fingers itched for a cigarette. “And don't forget that that futon you use belongs to the Shinsengumi.”

“What's your point?”

“You have no domain or whatever here.”

“Meaning?”

Hijikata hit a fist against the desk. “Where in the hell are you goin' with this, asshole?”

“Nowhere,” Gintoki replied simply and a smirk broke through his mask of indifference, “I just wanted to see how fast your eyebrow could tick.”

In utter silence at the admission, Gintoki very gently gathered up the radio and walked on his knees over to his futon. Hijikata watched him go, his wings and eyebrow alike stilled, his hand poised over the desk, motionless. Gintoki settled down on his stomach, wings stretching out, and propped himself up on his elbows to fiddle with the channel knob.

“I hate you,” Hijikata whispered when he finally had to blink, the motion breaking his frozen lapse.

“Okay.”

Gintoki was too busy messing with the stations to even bother glancing over and Hijikata took the opportunity to send his most mutinous glare at his head. Much to his surprise, Gintoki's eyes slid over to him and he spoke.

“Enemy Oogushi-kun used glare!” A smirk kicked up the corner of Gintoki's mouth. “Gin-san is unaffected.”

The tick resurfaced with a vengeance, so fast and hard that Hijikata's whole body seized up, and Gintoki had the gall to laugh. He actually _laughed_ while his wings fluffed up over his back, some errant feathers falling harmlessly onto the futon. Pissed off and flushed, Hijikata picked up his water bottle and chucked it at Gintoki's head. The thunk and scream he got when it hit home was satisfying enough for Hijikata to consider it retribution.

Rubbing his head, Gintoki went back to trying to get a stable connection, a pout evident on his face. Hijikata fell into working on the report in front of him, but the longer static and broken voices filled the room, the quicker Hijikata's temper fuse burned. His tolerance level was dangerously short these days and Gintoki always seemed to be testing that.

“You might need to fiddle with the antennae... if you can handle that.”

“Antennae I can do just fine!” Gintoki's legs kicked up like a child's would. “We have one on the TV at the apartment, remember?”

He didn't say anything. He remembered the antennae, but he couldn't recall ever seeing Gintoki messing with it. His pen touched down on the paper and he made a mark to correct something along with a short notation. He didn't have the best handwriting in the world, but it was a far cry better than Yamazaki's scribble. He was almost tempted to give Harada another try at doing reports, but something in him told him that Harada just wasn't ready for the responsibility.

Something other than static finally came through the airwaves, it was some kind of jazz mashup.

“This?”

“No.”

More fiddling.

“How about now?”

It was heavy metal.

“Absolutely not.”

Snickering, Gintoki turned the knob some more and gently maneuvered the short antennae. The next thing Gintoki stopped on was a live drama reading, like a soap opera via the radio. Hijikata _hated_ that he had to actually give Gintoki a look that told him to move the fuck on. No way was he going to sit there listening to dramatic shit that already sounded sad and intense. He took severe enjoyment out of watching the little glimmer of hope in Gintoki's eyes get snuffed out. Static and talk shows passed by, Hijikata was glad Gintoki didn't pause on those, and finally, a variety station came in clearly. Gintoki gave him a look and Hijikata nodded – that was how they found themselves doing their own things while soft rock played as white noise.

The music actually helped Hijikata in a way he hadn't expected. He was so used to noise around the barracks that the lack of sound from everyone out doing their jobs was disconcerting. Even at Gintoki's apartment there had been a level of noise be it from the apartment itself or outside the window Hijikata sat in front of. Having the empty air filled up with sound when things had previously been so dreadfully silent, it was relaxing. He was able to do his work in peace... until about five songs later when Gintoki's wings bobbed. It was just once, a single movement, but it was enough to make Hijikata pause.

Gintoki's wings bobbed again and Hijikata immediately snapped, “Quit it.”

“Quit what?” Gintoki asked, turning the page of his Jump.

“The moving. Stop moving.”

His wings bobbed. “What moving?”

“Argh! Do you not see your wings? Quit moving them!”

That got Gintoki's attention and he raised his head. “What?”

“A-are you...  _ dancing _ ?”

“No!”

Both Gintoki's wings stilled and they stared at each other, but the longer the music went with no movement, the more taut Gintoki's wings became.

Within seconds, they started bobbing gently again.

“Okay, yes, this music is catchy.”

“Stop doin' that, it's weird.”

“We've done the _tango_ together before, this totally isn't weird.” He stared at the ceiling for a moment in thought. “We did that without music, too. I'd say that's impressive.” His wings fluffed up. “Gin-san is a good lead.”

“You totally weren't leading and you know it!”

“I had the flower!”

“So? That doesn't mean shit!” He paused and narrowed his eyes. “Where'd you even get that rose, anyway?”

Gintoki waved a careless hand, muttering, “Eh, semantics.”

Hijikata had to reflect on whether Gintoki actually knew what that word meant or if it was just a lucky guess that happened to fit. For the next hour, they did their own things and it was fine. Hijikata actually lost track of time and completely ignored it when Gintoki's wings did their stupid bobbing and fluttering thing. Sometime later, it didn't come as a surprise when Gintoki put his Jump down, turned the radio off, and left. Hijikata had been waiting for that, actually, only because that was what the permy bastard usually did.

However, a whole stack of paperwork later and left in a resounding silence, Hijikata was getting restless. He wanted to get up and stretch his legs, but he didn't know where to go. Gintoki had been gone a long time and Hijikata didn't like that he was out in the barracks all on his own. He was probably going through shit he shouldn't be or leaving messes behind wherever he went. It didn't sit well with him at all, so he decided to get up and go for a walk. He stopped off in the restroom on his way and relieved himself, half-wondering about a pond trip, but he was already against it. If he suggested it, he'd have to keep his words that Gintoki's kids could join them and he didn't feel he was ready for that kind of chaos yet.

There were no sounds coming from the dojo when Hijikata passed it, not the familiar clash of weapons, anyway. Still, Hijikata ventured closer and looked inside through the window to find Gintoki doing something quite strange. Well, considering it was _Gintoki_ , it wasn't _that_ strange, but it was something Hijikata had never seen him do before. He was in a push up position with his legs outstretched and his arms holding him up so his back was a straight diagonal. His wings were positioned straight above him, they were so tall that they skimmed the goddamn ceiling.

Sweat was making his forehead shine and his bangs were partially sticking to his skin. Hijikata kept watching, finding it altogether odd that Gintoki was doing such a thing by himself. What he was even doing, Hijikata couldn't guess, the guy had some pretty weird behaviors.

“Creeper!” Gintoki suddenly yelled without looking over and Hijikata startled bad enough to need to grab the window sill for support. “What you're doing is creepy!”

“I – bullshit! There's nothin' creepy about seein' what the fuck you're up to!”

“Then don't watch from the outside like a weirdo!”

Hissing and more than a little reluctant, Hijikata padded over to the door and let himself inside. Gintoki had moved to sitting on his ass and was wiping his brow with one of the many small towels nearby. Even just being outside had made Hijikata build up a light sweat and Gintoki, having been out longer, was practically saturated. His shirt was unzipped and both sides were clinging to him, even his stomach was beaded and slick with sweat.

“What're you even doin'?”

“Mm... getting used to these things, I guess?” He pointed with his thumb back at his wings. “Don't know if you've noticed, but these things are _heavy_.”

“I've noticed....” He shifted, suddenly uncomfortable. “So you're just...” his brows furrowed, he probably looked constipated, “doin' weird pushups?”

“As if anything could get me to do an actual push up, are you serious?” Gintoki snorted and shook his head. “No, I'm experimenting a bit. Seeing if I can get to a point where that muscle thing we discovered won't get sore so fast.”

“You're still going on about that flying shit, aren't you?”

“Maybe?” Gintoki ducked his head and both wings shrugged instead of his shoulders. That motion alone was very, very strange for some reason. “I'm bored, so I figured why not.”

“You know muscle mass will only make you heavier.”

“Yeah... but it's either build up the new muscles and see what happens or stay in your room and let my brains slowly bleed out of my ears. Not a tough choice there.”

Hijikata's brows and wings popped up. “I knew you were dramatic, but I had no idea you were such a fuckin' queen.”

“Oi!”

“But really? Brains bleeding from your ears? T'ch! That suggests you have anything in that skull of yours, you couldn't even turn on the radio.”

“That was a mechanical flaw! Who makes a power switch that small?”

“Mechanical flaw, my ass! That was user error all the way!”

“User erro – oh, you asshole!”

Whatever smugness at having the upper hand Hijikata felt in that moment was totally obliterated. He'd been enjoying earning back some of the pride Gintoki had taken away from him earlier, but it was short lived. Because Gintoki was for all intents and purposes entirely unpredictable and Hijikata had, against his better judgement, forgotten that during their verbal sparring match. For Gintoki had just then decided to fall to his hands and knees, swing his legs to the side, and slam his wing into Hijikata's chest. It wasn't the hardest hit Gintoki could have delivered, but it was enough of a strike for Hijikata to lose his footing and plop down onto his ass.

Hijikata was successfully stunned and half-wheezing, having fallen to his knees, for all of two seconds before he got his payback in the form of slamming both open palms against Gintoki's cheeks simultaneously, squishing his face between them. Gintoki screamed and moved out of reach, both his cheeks red from the slaps and Hijikata's hands were wet with his sweat.

“So, you were practicin'?” Hijikata asked while he rubbed his hands off on his yukata and Gintoki massaged his stinging cheeks. “You looked like you were strugglin'.”

Gintoki sniffed. “I've been at it for awhile.”

“How long?”

“Dunno.”

Gintoki's face was blank, but he _knew_ how long, he just wasn't going to say. It made Hijikata scowl and he looked around the dojo, a wave of longing crashing down on him. He really missed this place. Not only that, but he missed the burn of exertion, the feeling of hard work, of accomplishment. He'd been so deprived of it and he once more hated how imbalanced he was. He missed a lot of things and even though it was hot as fuck inside the dojo, he was glad to be there again.

“You're way outta shape.”

Hijikata whipped his head back to Gintoki. “Say that again, I dare ya.”

“You,” Gintoki point at him, “are outta shape.”

It only took the blink of an eye for Hijikata to reach up and crack Gintoki's finger in a direction no finger was meant to crack.

“No!” Gintoki screamed – he'd been making those high pitched sounds a lot lately – and cradled his hand to his stomach. “Uncalled for! Why're you so _mean_?”

“M'not outta shape, natural perm.”

“Prove it then!”

“How? You just name it and I'll do it!”

“Do what I was just doing! I'll do it too and I'll show you how goddamn outta shape you are!”

“I'll make ya eat those words!”

“As if you could!” Gintoki goaded. “You can't even walk without taking yourself out sometimes with those wings!”

Hijikata flinched at the barb; Gintoki definitely had him there. Regardless, Hijikata gifted those words with a glare as they both got down on all fours so they were face to face. He kicked his legs out behind him when Gintoki did and raised himself up on his arms, creating a perfect push up position. On a silent command, they both raised their wings up and oh _god_ , Hijikata was not expecting the pull to be almost painful. The weight of his wings above him, pushing down on him, it wasn't at all what he was prepared for.

“You're goin' down!”

Someone really needed to shut him the hell up, his chest muscles were _screaming_ and they'd only just started! Sweat was already gathering on the back of his neck and on his forehead and the worst thing was the ache in his back along his spine. It was like a ball of fire centered in his lower back, as if someone were stepping him and threatening to break him in two. He could only assume it was because his wings were enough weight above him with added gravity to put so much strain on him.

“Not before you,” Gintoki returned.

Both of them were looking down at their hands and Hijikata dug his fingers into the wood under the force. Right across his chest in his upper abdomen there was a special kind of burn, a very loud and harsh protest telling him to stop. He was good at ignoring pain and pushing himself past his limit, it was just sad that they'd been doing this for such a short amount of time and he was already in this state of being. He would _never_ admit to being out of shape, but it was literally painfully clear that he _had_ been sitting around a little too much.

He _really_ hated that notion.

“This is nothin',” Hijikata said, more to himself than Gintoki.

“You're weak, you piece of shit,” Gintoki hissed through gritted teeth. “You've been sitting around too long with your paperwork, you're totally outta shape.”

“Natural perm bitch!” Gintoki sucked in an offended and kind of girly gasp, his head raising to glare at Hijikata. “Your arms are shakin' worse than mine!”

“I've been out here doing this longer than you!”

“Excuses!”

“Mayonnaise breath!”

“Diabetic plague!”

“At least I don't have a paperwork fetish!”

“It's not a fetish, it's my job!”

“Fetish! Kinky motherfucker,” sweat dripped from both of them, hitting the floorboards with dull pitter-patters, “I've seen the way you touch those pages!”

Hijikata choked. “T-t – _what_? That's ridiculous!”

Gintoki's mouth hiked up into a shitty smirk. “Is it, Oogushi-kun?”

“That's not my name!”

That last bit came out as a roar, but it wasn't out of anger, it was out of sheer stubbornness to not be the first to fall. His arms weren't the only thing shaking anymore, his whole body was, and the pain in his chest felt like it was taking the breath right from him. Somehow, it felt like his lungs had shrunk and it took every ounce of effort to keep his wings straight out above him. Time and time again they tried to wane, to lower, but he pushed them back up, the muscle in his chest protesting each time.

But then there was a familiar sensation.

A sickening jerk of his wings.

Hijikata face planted into the floor, his arms under too much strain to put up any resistance to soften the blow.

“ _Motherfuck_ –”

The cuss got drowned out by the sound of Gintoki hollering with laughter as he thumped down onto his stomach. Hijikata was only guessing Gintoki's arms had finally given out, he was too busy struggling to look up. He propped himself up on his hands and positively glared at the thick drops of blood that splattered on the floorboard beneath him.

“You've gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me.”

Raising a hand to his face, he was cussing bloody fuck as his fingers came away red and streaked with crimson. He'd gone and smashed his face so hard into the floor he'd given himself a bloody nose – fucking _figured._ Both hands went up, one to touch his nose and the other to cup underneath his chin where blood was dripping off. It was fucking gross. Not that blood bothered him or anything, but it was getting everywhere and hurt like a goddamn son of a bitch.

“What're you doing?” Gintoki asked after a moment, he was still on his stomach with his wings flat against the floor like dead weight. “Don't you know anything about bloody noses?”

“'Course I do!” Hijikata snapped and sprayed some blood in Gintoki's direction.

Gintoki's eyes, already lowered in bemusement, deadened even more as he flicked some of the spatter off his twitching fingers. He sighed, very put upon, and got up, waving both sides of his shirt to cool himself off. He went over and snatched up one of the towels before returning and going to one knee in front of Hijikata. It should have been weird that Gintoki didn't think twice about kneeling in the drops of blood and it probably would have been if it were anyone other than Gintoki. The guy was just altogether _weird._

“Move your hand,” Gintoki said, grabbing Hijikata's wrist and pulling his hand back to replace it with the towel.

He pushed Hijikata's head back and it was _disgusting_ how the blood then poured down his throat. This wasn't his first bloody nose by any means and he always hated the sensation of having to swallow his own blood. It wasn't the taste or the fact that was, indeed, his blood, it was just oddly uncomfortable. Like drinking water, except said water was thicker and went down in clumps instead of smoothly as liquid should. Plus, it was warm instead of cool and sat heavily in his gut.

“Ugh, it's in my mouth,” Hijikata remarked, his lips turned down in a grimace.

Gintoki snorted. “Yeah, probably got some of your boogers in there.”

“Disgustin'!” He punched Gintoki's thigh. “You're disgustin'!”

“Nothing wrong with boogers.”

“I maintain my assessment that you're disgustin'.” Hijikata grimaced. “This isn't one of your nasty used rags, is it?”

“It... could be? I dunno, I just grabbed one.”

“ _Great._ ”

“Sarcasm isn't gonna help you right now.”

Sweat slid down toward his eye, he could feel the fucker, and he was preparing for the inevitable sting when a thumb casually brushed it away. He hated to admit it, but he was grateful for that, the last thing he needed on top of everything else was something bugging the shit out of his eye. It'd get all red and bloodshot and if he rubbed at it, he'd just spread even more smears of blood on his face – when had his life become _this_?

“Hold this in place, would you?”

Hijikata reached up and took the place of Gintoki's hand, keeping the towel pressed to his nose. It was still bleeding and his throat was constantly undulating as he continued to swallow it all down. Gintoki disappeared, but came back with another towel that he held out to Hijikata. Intentions obvious, Hijikata let Gintoki go back to holding the towel to his face and used the other one to blindly wipe his hands off. His wings were motionless behind him and Hijikata was tempted to send them a glare, the traitorous things. He didn't bother, though, and instead made a random area over Gintoki's shoulder his focal point.

“Your left pointer finger and thumb are still pretty red,” Gintoki directed without inflection.

Hijikata scowled beneath the towel, but wiped the aforementioned parts of his hand silently.

Great.

No, no, this was great.

Perfect, actually.

Because not only was Hijikata reduced to the most base level of useful to his faction, he couldn't even hold himself up without embarrassing himself. He closed his eyes lest they give something away that he didn't want to show. He'd gotten nothing out of this venture, except that he was now bloody, sweaty, humiliated, flushed, irritated, angry, tired, and whatever the word would be to describe the desire to once more try to rip his wings out. Bitter, maybe. He was bitter about so many things lately, the singular emotion felt like it had become a part of him without his knowing. Or maybe he'd always been a bitter fuck, who knew.

“Has it stopped?”

“Think so.”

Gintoki removed the towel and the silence of his rustling clothes indicated a pause. “O-oh.”

Hijikata warily peeked an eye open. “What?”

“Nothing!”

Gintoki had a hand just over his mouth, but the way he was leaned slightly back was making it look like he was trying to damnedest to keep himself together.

“ _What_?” Hijikata repeated, his wings curling in closer to his body defensively.

Finally, Gintoki let out a sharp laugh and swung his wings inward to staunch the sound behind the dome he made around himself. They were _way_ too close to each other to make that a feasible motion and Hijikata growled, backing up, as he got a face full of white feathers. He only went a couple inches back before he stopped and yanked Gintoki's wings aside.

“Speak, damn you!”

“I shouldn't laugh, but...” Gintoki's mouth twitched dangerously, “it's just... you look so _stupid_.”

Hijikata hunched forward, an angry blush making his nose throb even more. He'd been punching Gintoki a lot lately, so he didn't pause in landing a solid punch to the bastard's shoulder. His whole wing on that side twitched and he must have been sore there because he squawked in that idiotic way of his. Hijikata wiped around his nose and mouth with the towel, getting off as much blood as he could. It almost helped that he was so sweaty, it kept the blood from drying and adhering to his skin. His nose hurt like hell and kept up a continuous throbbing that had him gritting his teeth.

“Is it broken?”

At that, Gintoki leaned forward on his knees and inspected him before shaking his head. “Don't think so. Doesn't look to be, anyway, just red and a bit swollen.”

“And stupid,” Hijikata spat, all around cranky about everything.

“Well, yeah,” Gintoki replied matter-of-factly and gave Hijikata's cheek the lightest slap. “Come on, feather head, you look like you could use a drink.”

Hijikata didn't budge. “Feather head.”

“You're gonna be left behind!”

Reluctantly and with a great sigh, Hijikata got to his feet. Gintoki had picked up all the towels and put them in a pile, he could only imagine what the person who had to clean them would think. He moved carefully, aware that his wings could give another almighty jerk at any moment and send him sprawling. He'd thought he was getting better at maintaining himself, but that last one had been a rather cruel and very literal smack in the face.

“Do you even have drinks around here?”

“Not really.”

He wasn't really focused and felt more than a little dismal as he followed Gintoki back toward his room. _He_ should be the one leading, this was the barracks, this was his home, yet Gintoki walked through it like he owned it. It made Hijikata's face scrunch up and he glared at the folded heart shape of white wings. They were crisscrossed at the tips and were very nearly touching the floor, but they were carefully well composed enough to fit through doorways.

“We should spar sometime.”

It took a moment for the words to sink in, at first he even thought he'd misheard or something. It wasn't until Gintoki glanced over his shoulder, expression shuttered, that Hijikata realized he'd actually just spoken. Hijikata clenched his hands into fists and glared ahead, refusing to look over. He'd had enough teasing for one day.

“Not funny,” he snarled and _loathed_ that his voice had a slight nasal quality to it.

“It wasn't a joke.”

Okay, he'd really, really had enough.

Rushing forward, tugging on Gintoki's shoulder, Hijikata grabbed the front of Gintoki's shirt and pulled him up, turning him, then shoved him back hard against the wall. He had both of his hands fisted into either side of Gintoki's shirt and he held on tightly, the collar bunching up around Gintoki's neck. He was glaring, he was fucking furious, and for some reason, the way Gintoki didn't do anything, didn't even grab onto his wrists made him even angrier. He was so little threat that Gintoki didn't even see fit to defend himself! On top of that, Gintoki's face was a mask of indifference, a shield of impenetrable ice. Meanwhile, Hijikata's nose had its own goddamn pulse because of all the blood rushing into his face and he'd really just had _enough_.

His mouth opened, every scathing word and frustration at the ready to come flooding out of his mouth – until Gintoki shoved a feather into his ear.

Shocked, Hijikata knocked Gintoki's hand away and pawed at his offended appendage, the ticklish sensation lingering even after the feather had fallen to the floor.

“I wasn't joking,” Gintoki repeated, extracting Hijikata's other hand and flicked Hijikata's forehead in reprimand before walking off again. “And keep that temper in check, asshole! Don't forget our vices are on the line!”

Hijikata blinked.

In the heat of the moment, he'd completely forgotten what Kondo had said about them getting along. His hand was still on his ear and he was mortified that he was some degree of ashamed by his own behavior. He'd been so close to completely flattening Gintoki through the wall... maybe he really needed to look at his increasingly severe penchant for violence. He could only assume that it was all attributed to mounting frustration and having no outlet for his anger, but was that really any excuse anymore?

Angry at himself for a different reason now and temper successfully put in place, he rubbed his ear some more and followed Gintoki. He wasn't going to apologize or anything, that'd just be stupid and wouldn't fix anything. Not that there was anything to fix, except maybe how he expressed himself when he was fed up with all the bullshit raining mercilessly down upon him.

“Do you think we could go to the showers early?”

Hijikata went to his desk for a cigarette. “Huh?”

“I don't know about you, but I'm kinda gross.”

“You're always gross.”

“You had blood and boogers in your mouth not too long ago, you can't talk.”

“You put boogers in your mouth by choice, mine were unintentional.”

“Name _one_ time you've seen me do that!”

“You pick your nose often enough, that you eat them sometimes is implied.”

“Just for that, I'm gonna start wiping my boogers on all your things.”

“I kinda assumed you already did that.”

“From now on I'm gonna do it on purpose!”

Hijikata found himself smirking. “So it was just on accident before?”

“It was mindless before,” Gintoki nodded at the statement, “but now I'm gonna spread my boogers in the name of vengeance.”

“What a noble cause,” Hijikata commented, finally lighting up.

“Gin-san is always noble.” He was flapping his shirt again, clearly still hot and they were both sweating. “You never answered my question.”

“Hm?”

“About the showers, if we could go early.”

“Ah, I don't see why not. No one is probably in there right now.”

“Yeah, I've noticed it's quieter than usual today.”

Hijikata shrugged. “Just a busy day. In a way, it's a good sign basically no one is here, means they're out doin' their job.”

Gintoki was gathering some stuff to take to the showers with him, including a yukata instead of a fresh pair of his black shirt and pants. He slung a towel over his shoulder and Hijikata quickly finished his cigarette so he could do the same. A nice shower sounded good and he wanted to wash off any evidence of his bloody nose.

“Does that doctor guy have your number?” Gintoki asked when they were on their way.

“Yeah, why?”

“Didn't know if he was gonna call you or Gorilla when he found something out.”

They entered the showers and Hijikata frowned in thought. “No idea. Probably Kondo for most things, but then me if it were something pertaining to our immediate health.”

Gintoki made a humming sound, but said no more as he valiantly fought his way free of his damp shirt. It fell to the floor with a wet slap and Hijikata began his own battle with his yukata. It didn't help that the material kept sticking to him, but he was relentless until it finally fell away off his left wing. He stepped into his shower, took off his boxers, threw them out, then turned on the water. It felt better than he could have hoped to rinse off and Gintoki must have felt the same way because his wings were fluffing up enough to send misty sprays of water in every direction.

This part of their routine was easy to fall into, but it also got Hijikata thinking. They'd have to start doing that molting thing, the feather upkeep or whatever Wan had called it, sometime soon. They hadn't done it the day before, both had avoided the topic entirely, but they couldn't keep that up forever. He wondered what Gintoki thought of it, if he'd be against it, and Hijikata wasn't sure how to broach the topic. Not that he wanted to, it was merely necessary.

Another thing Hijikata didn't like to notice was that he was sore. Already. After just doing a simple little exercise, there was a too tight pull at the front of his chest every time he moved. His back hurt as well, but it was his chest that was raising the most complaints. He ignored that with enough stubbornness to make him think he wasn't feeling anything at all.

“Done!” Gintoki called, his shower turning off.

By the time Hijikata had finished and toweled off enough to put his boxers on, Gintoki was already to the point of struggling into his yukata. _Struggling_ was right, too, because he was making absolutely no progress.

“T'ch, hold on.” Gintoki stilled, pouting, and Hijikata threw his own yukata over his shoulder on his approach. He took hold of Gintoki's wing and went to start fitting it through the slit when he stopped. “No wonder you're havin' problems.”

He had to tear both slits wider and had to pointedly ignore just how pink and offensive Gintoki's boxers were. Whoever let him get those needed to be drowned in a pot of hot oil. It took a lot of effort and a bit of force to get Gintoki's second wing into place, but he managed. However, he did accidentally tear out a couple feathers in the process, but that wasn't intentional despite how fervently Gintoki believed otherwise.

When it was Hijikata's turn, no feathers got yanked out and there wasn't a lot of force needed to get his wings through the slits. Gintoki sure grumbled under his breath the whole time, but in less than five minutes, Hijikata was tying off his yukata and gathering his things. They were both shaking out their wings to dry them out, but they still left a small trail of droplets on their way back to Hijikata's room. They were silent through most of it, too, and Hijikata went right over to his desk for another cigarette.

Gintoki had other ideas.

He walked over to the part of the room opposite of their futons and had a look on his face Hijikata _really_ didn't like.

“What're you doin'?”

“I just want to try something.”

Gintoki took a stance, his legs spread to give him a sturdy base. He bent his knees a little and canted his shoulders forward as he would to absorb the force of a blow. His wings rose and spread out wide, then moved so they were straight out behind him. Some water was still falling from them and in the lighting it looked like they shone a bit due to the moisture.

“If you're about to fart, I _will_ kill you.”

“No, not this time.”

“Gross.”

“Just gonna see if I can dry these things out faster.”

Hijikata took in Gintoki's position and shook his head. “That's a terrible idea.”

“Maybe.”

“But you're gonna do it anyway.”

“Of course.”

Nothing happened.

“Are you waiting for my cue or...?”

“Kinda – your paperwork is going to go flying when I do this.”

Hijikata went to it and held it down, giving Gintoki a look of apprehension, his cigarette hanging limply between his lips. Taking an audible inhale, Gintoki pushed his wings forward in one massive sweep that launched him backward so fast he didn't even have time to cry out. He completely lost his footing and became a living projectile that not only hit he door to the porch, but slammed right through it. Gintoki let out a scream when the door shattered off its hinges and he was a blur of feathers as he hit the floorboards of the walkway with a thudding thunk. Hijikata watched, rigid, as momentum kept Gintoki going until he slid off the porch completely, disappearing over the side in a flurry.

Quickly getting up, Hijikata ran outside and looked down over the ledge, his cigarette falling from his mouth. Gintoki was on his back, wings at odd angles, legs in the air propped up on the wood of the porch, and he was covered in dirt and foliage from the bushes and plants he'd landed on.

“ _Ha!_ ” Hijikata burst in one loud bark.

Gintoki just stared at him, eyes wide with shock – Hijikata could only let out another supremely unattractive bark. The cigarette that had fallen from his mouth had landed just to Gintoki's side and somehow the slow fingers of smoke curling upwards made the whole thing all the more amusing.

Gintoki still wasn't moving.

Dirt was streaked over one of Gintoki's cheeks and his white, white wings were muddled with a dusting of brown. It was even better that he was still a little wet, so the dirt was turning to mud and absolutely clinging to him. His hair was spiked up in some places and he was the very picture of filthy.

“Oi! You break somethin' or what?”

“I....” Gintoki's mouth crumpled into a harsh frown and his eyes went from wide to downright distressed before he screamed, “ _I landed on an anthill!_ ”

Hijikata's next bark of laughter was lost in the sounds of Gintoki flopping around in the dirt, revealing the very large mound marking the anthill he'd just obliterated. If he eventually offered Gintoki a hand to pull him out of the ant pit and onto the safety of the porch, well, that was hearsay.

**To Be Continued**

 


	15. The Word Toilet is Used at Least 15 Times in the Next Chapter... Just Saying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It's not an excuse, it's fact.”  
> “Wanna know another fact?”  
> “No.”  
> “You're within wax flicking distance.”  
> A tiny ball of wax hit Hijikata's yukata sleeve and he flailed his arm to get it to go away. He made sure to give Gintoki a good kick for that and a sneer to go with it because this guy was seriously disgusting. He'd had to get closer to do it, but it was worth it to hear Gintoki grumble.

“Ouch!”

Hijikata took a firmer grip on his pen and kept his eyes on the paper in front of him even as there was a crash off to the side.

“You broke it again.”

“Nope!” He heard Gintoki scrambling to fix whatever it was he'd just dropped or smashed. “Everything's good! It's all fine here!”

Something clanked, it sounded like wood, and Hijikata dared to glance up. Gintoki was a mess and both of his wings were stretched out at different angles so he looked lopsided. His hair was still sopping wet and he hadn't dried himself out at all, so his yukata was fairly damp and sticking to him. His skin was red all over from scrubbing himself so hard in his second shower and there were darker red circles from where he'd been scratching with his nails.

After he'd fallen on the anthill, he'd gone running back to the shower and ended up ripping his clothes off his body. If Hijikata hadn't followed him with a clean yukata and a fresh towel, then that idiot would have been left naked and abandoned in the bathroom. The thought was somewhat tempting, he wouldn't mind putting Gintoki in a position where he had to call out for help or make a fool of himself. The only reason Hijikata had taken pity was because he wouldn't put it passed Gintoki to just walk back to the room bare ass naked – the man had no shame whatsoever! So, to spare himself having to deal with that unsavory possibility, he'd just taken Gintoki some provisions.

He'd also rather enjoyed the show.

Watching Gintoki, who was only partially visible because he was inside the stall, freak out and scrub himself raw while screaming profanities and nonsensical dins, it was entertaining. Hijikata didn't even feel bad for missing out on some work he should have been doing and the break had given him time to take care of his nose. It wasn't very swollen, but it was puffed up enough for him to be able to feel the difference. That, and the fact that it still had its own heartbeat was a good indicator it wasn't its normal size. He was actually surprised Gintoki hadn't made fun of him for it yet, but maybe that was because he was distracted with his own misfortunes at the moment.

Hijikata refocused on the massacre that was the broken door and gave an innumerable sigh. All the cool air that had been so nicely filtered in his room had escaped right out the door and there was no getting it back as things were. He'd snapped at Gintoki for it when he'd returned from the shower – Hijikata had left when Gintoki had stopped cussing – and that was... twenty minutes ago? Thirty? Factor in the time since Gintoki had broken the door and the room was the dictionary definition of sweltering.

“You're pretty lame for a Yorozuya.”

“Excuse me?”

“You do odd jobs, but you can't even fix a door you broke.”

“I can so! I just need more tape!”

The door looked awful and it was covered from top to bottom in tape that varied in length. When he'd blasted himself through it, he'd shattered part of it and so he was basically trying to puzzle piece all the wooden shards together. Both of them were sweating, Gintoki more so since he was actually doing something and Hijikata was just sitting, but the heat was terrible with the door open as it was. There wasn't any wind, so the weight of the heat increased and the gaping hole seemed to just let more of it in. Even having a fan on was ineffectual and just felt like it was spreading around hot air as opposed to acting as a refreshing breeze.

“A tape door isn't going to be sufficient.”

“It's what you're gonna get, so shut up.”

“I told you that was going to be stupid idea, maybe you should listen to me more often.”

“I just told you to shut up and you're still talking.”

Hijikata reached for a cigarette. “Because we've established that _my_ advice is the only one worth listening to around here.”

“So listen to yourself and leave me – oi! Don't light up in here! Smoke is only gonna make it hotter!”

“I'm not even near you!”

“It's still too hot for smokes!”

Hijikata lit up and blew smoke in Gintoki's direction. “Oh, look, you're fine. Keep fixin' the damn door!”

Gintoki whined some more and flapped a wing at Hijikata to keep the smoke away – it was utterly illogical that cigarette smoke made things hotter, Gintoki was either losing his mind or it was melting away. Hijikata wiped some sweat off his brow and dabbled with some paperwork, but after smearing some ink on accident, he decided to leave it be for awhile. He finished his cigarette and watched Gintoki tape away, he was probably getting splinters in his fingers from all the little pieces. Beads of liquid were dripping off Gintoki's face and the whole point of showering seemed to have ben entirely unproductive since they were both gross already.

Again, though, Gintoki was more gross – just to be perfectly clear.

“Ahhh! No!” Part of the tape gave way and the door split in half right down the middle. “I think you should just get a new one.”

“It's too late to get one tonight.”

“So call one of your subordinates to get a spare!”

“You think we have spare _doors_ around here?”

“Why wouldn't you?”

The retort Hijikata had died right on his tongue and his eyes narrowed. “Did you really just ask why we don't have spare doors here?”

“I don't know!” Gintoki dropped the door and gave it a little petulant kick. “It's hot and I can't think!”

“T'ch, you can never think, you'd need a brain for that.”

“Tell me that when you wake up with wood chips in your futon!”

“You wouldn't dare!”

“Try me!”

Gargling, Hijikata wiped his face with his yukata sleeve, then said, “No, I believe you! Only someone with no brain would do somethin' so goddamn stupid!”

“All I have to do is walk away and I've got you beat!”

“Are you _tryin'_ to make me kill you?”

“Death would be better than dealing with this heat!” Gintoki shook his wings out and pushed back his wet hair with an irritated press of his hand. “Go ahead! Try and take me down! Let me escape this hell!”

“In that case, then you're right where you need to be to suffer!”

“You two have the stupidest arguments.” They both shouted and Gintoki hopped in place in what was probably a startled leap even though he barely left the floor. Sougo surveyed the room and Gintoki, whose wings had raised and fluffed up, cleared his throat while Hijikata wrung his hands on his thighs. “I was just... Hijikata-san, your face is uglier than usual. Why is your nose so big?”

“Mind your own business!”

“But it's so large and –”

“Finish that sentence and it's seppuku for you!”

Sougo pointed to the door. “What happened in here?”

“He threw me through the door,” Gintoki replied, nonchalantly dipping his left wing down.

Hijikata slammed a fist against his desk. “I did not! He threw himself through it! And you! Sougo, you should be working, I know your shift isn't done yet!”

“He's lying,” Gintoki interceded, “how could I have thrown _myself_ through a door? He's a violent meanie, you know how he is.”

“It's okay, danna, I understand.”

“I knew you would.”

They both bowed their heads for a moment of silence and Hijikata was ready to destroy each of them. If it was hot in the room before, then it got ten times hotter because Hijikata's temper just went through the roof. Blood had rushed into his face and it felt like the amount of moisture on his forehead doubled, maybe even tripled, as it slid down his cheeks and off his chin.

“Oi!” Hijikata snapped. “Why're you here? Don't make me ask again!”

“Kondo-san sent me to let you know dinner is running behind.”

“You coulda just called or texted and kept working!”

Sougo shrugged. “I wanted to see danna.”

“You've seen him, you can go now. There's no way you finished everything before now, not with your work ethic.”

“I've got some yakisoba,” Sougo said to Gintoki and it was like Hijikata wasn't even there anymore. “Picked it up when I heard one of the fuses blew in the kitchen.”

“About damn time someone had some common sense around here! I'm starving!” Gintoki grabbed his discarded towel and began drying out his hair. “You don't even know the kind of day I had stuck with this guy!”

“I can imagine. There a reason why your skin looks like that?”

“I'll tell you over grub.”

“You reek, maybe you should take a shower first?”

“I've already taken _two_ today! Feed me and I'll smell better.”

They'd started walking away and Hijikata hit his desk several times to get their attention, yelling, “Oi, oi, oi! Fix the goddamn door first! Follow through with what you were doing before you go running off!”

“You do it!” Gintoki called blithely over his shoulder, then raised his wing, blocking Hijikata off like that was his way of ending the conversation.

Hijikata physically recoiled, his face twisting in disgust, and he was fuming, but what could he do? Run after them to kick Gintoki's ass?

“Tch!”

He was angry, but he wasn't mad enough to abandon all logic and make a fool of himself. Not only could he fall on his face, but he'd be running into an imbalanced encounter where it'd be two sadists against himself with no mediator like Kondo to keep things from getting too out of hand. So, Hijikata stayed put and went back to what work he had remaining, leaving the broken door exactly where it was.

-o-O-o-

It was late when Gintoki returned and Hijikata was surprised when he went right back to fixing the battered door. He looked much the same as he had before, but less sweaty and his hair didn't appear to be as matted. They didn't speak at first and Hijikata's stomach was doing more talking than anything, he couldn't shut it up. Yamazaki had brought him some food earlier, not long after Gintoki had left, but it wasn't enough, he was still hungry. Gintoki had the door spread out and this time, he was putting it together on the floor instead of trying to hold it in place and make it fit. Tensions were definitely down compared to earlier, but the mugginess of the temperature and general atmosphere had remained.

“Didn't think you were actually gonna do it,” Hijikata commented.

Gintoki pulled a brand new roll of tape out of his sleeve. “Told you I needed more tape, but you never listen. Turns out, finding a spare roll of tape is a lot easier than finding a spare door.”

“Ah, you're learning.”

“Look out, before long I'll be taking over this establishment.”

Hijikata scoffed. “You and what army?”

“Not the army of ants, that's for _damn_ sure.”

Gintoki had gotten down on his hands and knees and was taping away, his wings opened and raised outward above him. Hijikata speculated he had them held that way for balance and just watching Gintoki made it interesting to see how he was adapting to the shifting of his own weight. The feathers themselves looked less haphazard then before and had more order to them, more uniformity – the same could not be said for Hijikata's wayward feathers. It was like he'd gotten so pissed off earlier that it had left his feathers in permanent disarray for the day and he honestly couldn't be bothered to care at this point.

Hijikata looked down at the paper on his desk and sighed, he'd been working on this single report for more than fifteen minutes. His final stack was lacking and had started to dwindle some time ago, forcing him to go slower to drag it out. It worked, but it emphasized how pathetic and immobile he'd become. He also loathed that that short time in the dojo had been the highlight of his day because for a second he'd actually felt _okay_ , but now he was spiraling downward again. A bug buzzed in front of his face and he swatted it away with enough irritation to make his wings bob, the tail ends brushing more firmly against the floor.

“Come help me lift this thing.”

“I don't take orders from you.”

Gintoki's wings twitched. “Either come help me with this or I go crash in Okita-kun's room and you sleep with all the bugs that're bound to swarm around.”

“There's already a bunch in here thanks to you,” Hijikata said, but he was already getting up.

“We'll go on an extermination spree when the door's up.”

“You mean _you_ will, it really is your fault.”

Gintoki rolled his eyes and together they lifted the door and fitted it into its place. Hijikata held it once it was up and Gintoki outfitted it to its frame, using tape wherever he must have thought it needed it. When it was done, Gintoki motioned for Hijikata to let go, then slid it back and forth, checking to see if it was actually functioning.

“I...” Hijikata watched with a frown, “can't believe it works.”

“This is nothing,” Gintoki replied and to Hijikata's surprise, it didn't sound like he was being entirely immodest. “Do you even know how many busted doors I've fixed in my life? I live with a Yato and an oversized dog, both of which eat too much, so broken doors are the least of my problems on a normal day.”

“I'm not sure if taping broken doors back together is something to brag about.”

“I'm Yorozuya Gin-san! I can do any job!”

“The heat definitely melted part of your brain today.”

Gintoki started to say something, then paused mid-word and bobbed his head, relenting, “You might just be right, I felt like I was going to keel over earlier.”

“Unfortunate that you didn't.”

“You could be a little nicer to the person that just fixed your door.”

“You're not entitled to any niceties. First, I don't do nice and second, you broke it to begin with.”

Remembering something, Hijikata lashed out and punched Gintoki's shoulder.

“Ack! What'd I do to deserve that?”

“That's for telling Sougo I threw you!”

“I was only joking!”

“It wasn't funny!”

“Alright, alright, yeesh!” Gintoki moved away, out of hitting distance, and added, “We should take care of the bug problem.”

“Does that mean I should get rid of you, too?”

“You're so mean today! I'm not a pest!”

“Really? You bug me plenty.”

Gintoki gasped and put on a decent front of being offended – the bastard _had_ to know how annoying he was. They bickered as they went around doing sweeps of the room and exterminating any bugs they found. Gintoki liked to flap his wings to coral some of the ones he saw toward Hijikata, which led to more fighting, but between the two of them, they made quick work of the room. Most of the bugs were easy to find since they were attracted to Hijikata's lantern, but of course Gintoki was able to hunt down any stragglers.

Afterward, Gintoki went for the futons with a large yawn and hunkered down on his own. Hijikata returned to his desk, intent on finishing the last page of his final report and he also wanted to keep the lantern on a bit longer to see if anymore bugs were drawn to it. He didn't mind a few bugs in the room, it happened sometimes, especially with how often he went out for smokes, but _a lot_ of them had flown in and he did have his limits with such things.

Gintoki scratched at his neck and sighed. “I want another shower.”

“It's too late for that.”

“But I want one.”

“Don't care.”

“I'm never going outside again,” Gintoki said petulantly.

Hijikata ticked off a mark and circled a couple key words. “That's unrealistic.”

“It's not,” Gintoki spat and wrapped the blanket tighter around himself. Hijikata saw it out of his peripherals, Gintoki had the whole stupid blanket pulled up over his wings and had it resting on top of his head so just his face and arms were visible. “They were all over me!”

“They didn't even bite you!”

“Doesn't matter! I can still feel them crawling on my skin!”

“You big baby,” Hijikata mumbled.

“How much longer are you gonna be up?”

“Almost done.”

Gintoki sighed again, it seemed they were both doing a lot of that lately, then picked up a Jump and started to read – stopping only occasionally to scratch at his skin. Neither of them mentioned the whole preening thing and Hijikata didn't honestly know if Gintoki even remembered it or not. He wasn't going to bring it up, obviously, and he wasn't going to ask why Gintoki didn't just sleep if he was tried. From what he'd seen, Gintoki could pass out in a variety of ways and the amount of lighting didn't have a huge influence on him.

Hijikata finished his work within the next ten minutes and despite it being anticlimactic, he puffed his chest out in a rather proud way when he put that file on top of the finished stack. It was all proof that he'd managed to put most of his day to good use and while he figured he'd go brilliantly insane being stuck with constant paperwork and nothing else, he was determined to get anything he could out of it. He stood up and slowly made his way to his closet, his steps careful and well chosen. He stretched his wings straight out behind him and rolled his shoulders back to work some kinks out, but when he began to wobble, he righted himself.

“You got any water in there?”

Hijikata pulled a bottle out and tossed it to Gintoki. “Don't drink too much, I don't want you waking me up at some random hour 'cause you gotta piss.”

“I'd be quiet if I had to get up.”

“I've got first hand experience that tells me you don't know what quiet means.”

Gintoki flipped him off and chugged half of the bottle's contents, clearly out of spite. Hijikata rolled his eyes and felt his headache give a renewed throb, he'd almost forgotten about it. It had been lingering ever since he'd hit his face, but he could feel it starting to get worse. He'd felt fine when he was on his own, that it was making itself more and more known now that Gintoki was in the room was a huge indicator as to what – _who_ – his biggest problem was. He closed up his closet and went to grab the lantern. He took it over to his futon with him, almost looking forward to sprawling out and shutting down for awhile.

“I kinda wanna sleep on my back tonight,” Gintoki said just as Hijikata was about to flop down in his usual position.

“Why?” He was so close to falling backward that he was already reclining on his hands. “You never want that.”

“I'm tired of sleeping the same way every night, I'm getting less and less sleep each time. Aren't you the same?”

“I can't sleep any other way, my wings will wake me up.”

“Have you tried?”

“Kinda? We sorta did that first night, that was a disaster.”

“That was one night! We should switch it up tonight and see what happens.”

Hijikata heaved himself forward so he could rub his eyes and think. He saw absolutely no pros if he disagreed with Gintoki and tried to fight with him on keeping things as they were. Hijikata sleeping on his back and Gintoki sleeping on his stomach _worked_ , they'd tested it, they knew it worked, so why change what worked? Gintoki wouldn't be able to see the logic in that, he lacked the capacity, so Hijikata only really saw one option for this.

“We can... try, but if it doesn't work we're switching back. Or you're moving farther away, whatever it takes.”

“Oi! Why is your comfort valued over mine?”

“Because I had wings first, so I have seniority.”

Gintoki picked wax from his ear. “You only get to use that excuse this once.”

“It's not an excuse, it's fact.”

“Wanna know another fact?”

“No.”

“You're within wax flicking distance.”

A tiny ball of wax hit Hijikata's yukata sleeve and he flailed his arm to get it to go away. He made sure to give Gintoki a good kick for that and a sneer to go with it because this guy was seriously disgusting. He'd had to get closer to do it, but it was worth it to hear Gintoki grumble.

Hijikata waited for Gintoki to get on his back, then he gingerly lowered himself onto his stomach. Right away, it wasn't working very well, but he'd agreed to give it a shot so he kept his mouth shut. Gintoki had to keep the wing between them bent and Hijikata spread his wings out as much as he wanted. He might have even intentionally shoved his wing forward so Gintoki got a face full of feathers, but Gintoki couldn't _prove_ Hijikata had or hadn't done it on purpose.

When they finally got settled, it wasn't as bad as Hijikata remembered. His wings were stretched and for the time, cooperating. Even Gintoki, the guy that liked to whine constantly about being cramped, fit okay with both wings folded neatly along his sides. They weren't pulled in tight and the ridge of Gintoki's wing rested between them partially wedged up against Hijikata's body. Hijikata reached out and turned the lantern off, then closed his eyes, ready to escape his headache and reality.

It took only minutes for Gintoki to fuck everything up.

Hijikata's eyes, which were probably bloodshot, snapped open and he frowned in the direction his head was turned. The only thing breaking the comfortable and much needed quiet was the sound of nails dragging over skin. It had a very distinct noise to it and all the stopping and starting was so irritating, Hijikata's temper was starting to boil upward again. Gintoki just kept scratching and scratching, Hijikata could feel his fingers twitching, wanting to hit him.

“Stop scratching at yourself!”

“I can't help it!”

“There aren't any ants on you!”

“It feels like it! And I'm still recovering from my sunburn!”

“You're done peeling!”

“My skin is still all dry and itchy!”

Hijikata smashed his face into his pillow and he wanted to scream. He was sharing a room with a goddamn _child!_

“Whap. Wrpphg.”

“What? Lift your head, I can't hear you.”

He turned his head to the side and enunciated again, “Stop. Scratching. It'll only make you feel more itchy if you think about it and keep doing it.”

“Don't you have any lotion?”

“Are you – arghh! Do you really think I'm the kind of guy that casually has _lotion_ stashed away in his room?”

Gintoki snorted. “No, but it'd be pretty funny if you did. I think you would if they had mayo scented shit.”

“If it's mayo scented, then it's not shit. Now, be quiet.”

Silence was his answer and Hijikata was so relieved, he felt his wings grow heavier. He smooshed his cheek against his pillow and took calculated deep breaths that he felt would help get him off to sleep faster. However, moments later, Gintoki's wing was insistently pushing and wriggling against Hijikata's side.

“Mm... what's your problem now?”

Gintoki put his hands over his head and whispered, “You can't hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“Shh! Listen!”

They both stopped and listened, but Hijikata didn't hear anything out of the ordinary. Gintoki had mentioned something like this before and Hijikata had almost thought something of it when it had first been brought up, but now he just felt like Gintoki was really losing his marbles. There were the sounds of bugs, the quiet rustle of the wind, the hush of them breathing, but beyond that, all was as it should have been.

“There's nothin' out there,” Hijikata hissed. “Go to sleep!”

“But I –”

“No! Quiet!”

Hijikata slammed his wing down on Gintoki, then violently shoved his face into his pillow and hoped the silence actually lasted this time.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata's alarm went off and he woke right up, but Gintoki's wing smothered him. They'd gotten into a huge fight in the middle of the night and Hijikata had gotten his way by making Gintoki sleep on his stomach like usual. There was just no sleeping for Hijikata when his wings were unrestrained and he didn't actually know how much they moved without him expressly making them until there was nothing to keep them still at night. He'd really tried to make it work, he'd even tried angling himself so that one wing was pressed folded against the floor, but it didn't help since the other one was fully free to do as it pleased.

Needless to say, Gintoki was none too pleased at being woken up, but Hijikata couldn't find it in himself to care. It wasn't fair that that bastard could sleep and Hijikata couldn't. Well, okay, so Gintoki didn't get to sleep _that_ well, he woke up often and wriggled to find a more comfortable position, but the truth was that no position was really all that comfortable for them. Regardless, they blew up at each other not five hours ago and Hijikata knew that when Gintoki's wing hit him after he turned off the alarm, it was done purposefully.

“You can keep sleepin', asshole,” Hijikata growled and shoved Gintoki's wing away.

Gintoki raised himself on his elbows with his head still slung low like it weighed too much for him to lift and he groaned, “ _Noooo_ , can't.”

“Yes, can.”

He had to use small words with Gintoki, idiot-speak for the moron to understand.

“Can't, pond.”

Hijikata stretched his wings out behind him, a stretch that seemed to be helping him lately, and rubbed his face to wake himself up. Gintoki was barely moving, but considering Hijikata knew how slow he was even when being pushed to get up, Gintoki was rousting himself pretty damn fast on his own.

“We're not going today.”

“I am even if you're not.”

“What're you talking about?”

Gintoki jerkily sat up and yawned broadly. “Taking the kids.”

“When did we decide this, ahn?”

“You _did_ agree to taking them the next time we went, that was the deal.”

“I don't remember agreeing to go today.”

Gintoki papped his cheeks to wake himself up, replying, “You didn't need to agree, you can come or you can stay here.”

“What's that supposed to mean? When did you even set this all up?”

“Called them yesterday.”

“You never used my phone....”

“Okita-kun has a phone, too, you know.”

Hijikata got up and pushed Gintoki's wing out of the way so he could stand without it touching him.

“Why the hell didn't you tell me yesterday?”

“I didn't wanna listen to you bitch all night about it.”

“I don't bitch! But you can't make decisions like that without talking to me first!”

“See?” Gintoki squawked. “You're already raising your voice!”

“Because I'm pissed!”

“And you woulda been pissed last night!”

Hijikata kicked him on the shin, then quickly got out of retaliation range. “I woulda been less pissed than I am right now! You snuck this up on me!”

Gintoki flopped around and threw his arms over his head, griping, “It doesn't matter when I tell you stuff, you always get mad!”

“Because you're an idiot! I don't wanna go today, did you consider that?”

“Not really! You don't have to go! Okita-kun said he'd drive!”

“ _Sougo'_ s going?”

“Gorilla, too.”

“ _What_?” He kicked Gintoki again, this time hard enough to make him yell. “How did that happen?”

“I don't know! Okita-kun and I were eating, I asked to use his phone to call the kids since it was getting late, he got in a fight with Kagura even through the phone while I was talking to Shinpachi, Gorilla heard the commotion, and...” Gintoki's hands wobbled, “yeah.”

“What do you mean yeah? What does,” Hijikata mirrored the wobbling motion with his own hands, “ _yeah_ mean?”

“What do you want me to say? He heard, I mentioned the pond to the kids, Gorilla thought it sounded fun, and I dunno, it just happened!”

Hijikata smacked a hand on his face and groused, “This is a disaster.”

“I don't get what the big deal is, so what if they want to come to the pond with us? You said we could take my kids, so why would it matter if a couple of your crew wanna come, too?”

Of course Gintoki didn't get it, he didn't have the same struggles as Hijikata and he wouldn't make a fool of himself without warning. It was _easy_ for that bastard and Hijikata wasn't sure if he could last a whole trip to the pond with two sadists that had it out for him and two kids that didn't like him. It wouldn't matter if the kids liked him or not, they were _kids_ , so it was pretty automatically assured that he wouldn't get along with them. He'd at least have Kondo, maybe, but it seemed unlikely that three of the most revered leaders of the Shinsengumi would leave their posts.

“If you're joining, you'd better get ready.”

Hijikata didn't move and ran through all the options he could think of even while he asked, “Your kids don't mind getting up so early?”

“Are you kidding? They get to go somewhere they've never been to before, play around with me in a place where there doesn't have to be a roof over my head to hide me, and we all get to pretend for a very short amount of time that everything's normal.” He gave Hijikata a patent _you're a dumbass_ look. “I could've told them to show up in the middle of the night wearing Halloween costumes and they would've done it if it meant we could all go out.”

“I kinda expect them to do shit like show up in Halloween costumes even if you hadn't asked them to,” Hijikata murmured and this time it was Gintoki who kicked his shin. “Bastard! That was way harder than I kicked you!”

“No, it wasn't, you're just a pansy. Freaking out over a pond trip, how lame are you?” Gintoki had gotten up and was shaking out his wings, leaving a sparse trail of feathers behind him. “Stay or join, I don't care, we've got a ride.”

Once again, Hijikata got a face full of how useless he was.

Because all Hijikata really was to Gintoki was a fucking chauffeur, of course that was the case! That made him mad all over again and he could feel his wings fluffing up in reaction, but Gintoki went right onto changing his clothes for the day. The room was stuffy and it suddenly felt crowded, so Hijikata left. It probably wasn't the best move, but he grabbed his phone and his cigarettes, then left through the fully functioning door that consisted of at least seventy percent tape.

He sat down on the edge of the porch and lit up a cigarette before sending Kondo a text. He didn't want to wake him even though he knew Kondo's day would be beginning soon regardless. They were all on a pretty synchronized schedule and since Hijikata was up, everyone else should be right behind. _Should_ be, but that was wishful thinking, he usually had to go around and forcefully wake everyone up. He hated having to do it, his men should have the ability to get themselves up in a timely manner, and he hated with equal fervency that he actually missed doing it. He missed his routine, his life, he couldn't say that enough – there was so many things these stupid wings had taken from him.

And what had he gotten in return?

A natural perm pest and endless reminders of his own expendability.

Hijikata's phone buzzed and he read the text from Kondo that said he'd be over in a few. He replied saying that he was sitting outside and then just sat back and tried to enjoy his cigarette. Nicotine was good for him, it was keeping him slightly sane, and it really helped that the heat wasn't so thick yet. Mornings really were the best time to go to the pond because being outside come noontime everything would be miserable. He indulged in a couple cigarettes and he didn't hear any crashing or banging from inside the room, so he took that as a good sign.

“Tosshi!”

He startled at Kondo's booming voice and was surprised he hadn't heard him coming – maybe he really was losing his edge in some way.

“Kondo-san,” he stubbed out his cigarette on the wood of the porch, “I was just –” he finally looked up and frowned, “you're going with them to the pond, I take it?”

Kondo grinned down at him. “What makes you say that?”

“Dunno, but probably the speedo.”

It only made sense that the Commander of the Shinsengumi was walking around in nothing but a skimpy swimsuit that left very little to the imagination. Hijikata's headache bloomed as if it had never left and he could feel a vein starting to throb in the side of his forehead, right on his temple.

“You said with them,” Kondo sat down next to him and nudged their shoulders together, “are you not going?”

“I don't think all of us should leave here, so you and Sougo should go, I'll stay here.”

“Nonsense! All three of us leave the barracks regularly, you know that!”

“Yeah, but one of us always remains in charge or nearby.”

“You're overthinking this! It'll be fine! I already took care of things last night and we'll all have our phones with us. Sakata-san explained to me where the location is and it's not far, if something happens we can be back here in no time.”

“I still don't think it's a good idea.”

“Everything's in order! You don't need to worry about it!”

“Who's gonna be in charge?”

“We are! I've already issued orders and tasked each person with their own report they need to fill out and turn in by the end of the day. Turn into you, I might add. You can look at them and see everything for yourself. If someone doesn't do something in a way that meets your approval, you can deal with it as you see fit.”

In other words, it was meant to be more paperwork to keep him busy. He couldn't complain, though, it sounded like a solid plan of action and it _would_ give him something to manage and oversee later, however indirectly. Kondo had really thought things through and Hijikata would be lying if he said he didn't want to finally spend some quality time with him. They'd barely spoken like they usually did and Hijikata missed the company of someone that didn't drive him absolutely crazy.

“Fine, I'll go.”

Kondo laughed and clapped a firm hand on his shoulder. “That's the spirit! Go get ready, I'll pack the cars!”

The singular notion that they'd need more than one car for all of them made Hijikata's stomach double over. He really didn't want anyone going with them if he and Gintoki were going to the pond and the only person he'd feel comfortable with was Kondo. It wouldn't be fair for him to say that only Kondo could go, he knew that, so he just got pissed off because of it and his headache told him he was going to feel that way all day.

He got up and went back into his room to find it empty with only white feathers as evidence that Gintoki had been there. Hijikata didn't bother to change clothes because even though he wasn't getting in the water, he was sure he'd sweat enough to make him smell. Therefore, changing into something fresh would be a waste, so he'd just wait until it was their shower time before using up some of his good clothes. Just to be safe, he smelled himself by bringing the collar of his yukata up over his nose and he took a big whiff. He didn't smell his best, but he didn't reek, either.

Gintoki entered the room and Hijikata quickly straightened his clothes out, he didn't want the idiot seeing him smelling himself, things would get weird. Rather, Gintoki would _make_ things weird and find some way to humiliate Hijikata for it. He spent a lot of excess time smoothing out his yukata and he only stopped when he felt something bump against his shoulder. He looked over to find Gintoki standing there with his arm outstretched and a cup held in his hand.

“What's this?”

“That,” Gintoki pointed to it as Hijikata took it and spoke with excessive slowness, “is a cup.” He snorted and went about packing a bag. “I'll save you the trouble of asking and tell you that here's coffee in it. No sugar, no cream, pure black just like your wings.”

“Why'd you get me this?”

“Are you gonna question everything I do? I went to the cafeteria like I usually do on the mornings we go to the pond and I got you a coffee.”

Hijikata squinted at it. “What if I'm not going?”

“Then drink it here instead, I don't care! If you _are_ coming, then you better get moving.” Gintoki barked out a short laugh. “Who would have thought I'd be the one saying that to you at this hour!”

They didn't speak after that and even if Hijikata said something, he doubted Gintoki would reply. He was too focused on what he was doing and when he was ready, he left. He didn't wait for Hijikata, but tucked his small bag under his arm and made his exit. The only thing that held Gintoki up was when his right wing hit the doorframe and it made him scream. The tape door remained intact and Hijikata was the one that closed it because Gintoki had left it wide open either as an invitation or he forgot.

Hijikata, cup in hand, followed a good distance behind Gintoki to where the cars were. It felt wrong that Gintoki was the one leading, but Hijikata had a gut feeling that they were on thin ice with each other at the moment. He couldn't say exactly why he felt that way and he didn't want to look into it too much.

“Gin-chan, which car?”

“Just pick one!”

Within ten minutes, they were on their way and Hijikata had one wing pressed firmly to the door while Kondo sat back against his other one to keep it in place. He wasn't pushing back hard against it, but his weight was enough to keep it from moving, they'd tested it. Hijikata was the one leading and while car traffic was thin, people traffic was thick. Yet that didn't stop Sougo from speeding up and recklessly swerving around Hijikata. The back windows were basically all white feathers and Hijikata couldn't be sure because Sougo went by so fast, but it looked like there had been a foot near Sougo's head.

“Why did we think letting him get his license was a good idea?” Hijikata growled, watching the back of the car wriggle back and forth.

“It's convenient for us if he has one.”

“He's a terrible driver.”

“He also has Sakata-san and the kids in the car.”

“That's true, I guess.” Hijikata tapped his fingers against the steering wheel and ground his teeth. “I really don't like this.”

“It'll be fun!”

“I'm not getting in the water. Did you remember the new paperwork?”

“Yeah... I was going to ask earlier, but what happened to your nose?”

Hijikata looked into the rearview mirror and snarled, “Why's it still so red? Dammit, I thought it'd be fine by now!”

“Did you get in a fight?”

“No,” Hijikata gently prodded at his nose with the fingertips of one hand, “no, nothing like that. It was an accident. My wings, they,” he made a motion with his hand before putting it back on the steering wheel, “you know, and I hit my head.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just got a nose bleed.”

“You should have called me, I could have brought you something for it.”

“I didn't wanna bother you,” Hijikata said and tried to make himself sound normal, “you're busy doing the work of two people.”

“That doesn't mean I can't stop by!”

Hijikata was glad his wings were immobile so Kondo wouldn't see them droop as he said, “I'll remember that if it happens again.”

“How are things going with Sakata-san?”

“Not well.”

“Really? I enjoyed talking to him last night.”

“You enjoy talking to everyone.”

Hijikata's temper was on the rise and he was holding the steering wheel tighter. He'd already been reminded how much of a burden he'd become and hearing about how well Gintoki fit in at the barracks with Hijikata's people pissed him off so goddamn much.

“Do you two still get into fights?”

“Only verbal ones.”

That they swatted at or kicked each other sometimes could be left out, it wasn't like they did any real damage with that stuff.

“Well, that's better than it used to be!”

“I guess.”

“What's so bad about him?”

“Where do I start?”

“It can't be that bad! It seems to me like he's really trying to make things work in this situation!”

Hijikata choked. “Can't be that bad? He's useless! He's rude, arrogant, annoying, and he makes deals, then doesn't hold up his end of the bargain!”

“Deals?” Kondo perked up, intrigued. “What kind of deal?”

“He told me he'd find out who broke my thingie!”

“Uh....”

Hijikata slammed a fist against the steering wheel and he would have smashed his face into it if he weren't driving. “No! _Fuck_ , no! That bastard is the one that calls my Tomoe-chan a thingie! I'm talking about _Tomoe-chan_!”

“Bwahahaha!”

“Stop laughing! It's not funny! She got hurt!”

Kondo stifled his laughter – poorly – and fought back his smile, replying, “That _is_ unfortunate, I'm sorry to hear about that. How many more do you have of that model?”

“That doesn't matter.”

“Of course, I was just asking. You don't know what happened to her?”

“No! I just walked out and there she was, broken on the floor! That natural perm promised to help me find out who did it in exchange for some groceries and I held up my end of the bargain!”

“Did she shatter?”

“No, just a little piece broke off.”

“Were you able to fix her?”

“Kinda, with some really cheap glue I found in sugar freak's desk.” He made a face. “I think there was glitter in it.”

“I see.” Kondo, still clad in only a speedo, shifted into a more comfortable position and asked genially, “Anything else you'd like to get off your chest?”

“Yeah,” Hijikata glanced in the rearview mirror and yelled, “how the hell did we end up with the damn dog?”

Kondo's laugh was booming and explosive and it actually did manage to make Hijikata feel a bit better. The rest of the ride passed with regular conversation and Gintoki was thankfully left out of it entirely. His temper was under control and it felt good talking to Kondo about the faction and normal work things. He finally started drinking his coffee and by the time they got to their destination, it was nearly gone.

Hijikata parked next to the other car and let Kondo get out first to release the hound. The others were already at the water and Gintoki was the only one that looked out of place, but it wasn't because of his wings. He was wearing his yukata and Hijikata was sure he'd have worn a swimsuit if he weren't still bruised up. Hijikata knew the marks were still there, bruises didn't disappear quickly or easily, so he was just hiding it and using his wings as an excuse to stay clothed.

Sadaharu ran right to the water and splashed into it and Hijikata was already dreading the smell of wet dog. He should be able to shove the Amanto behemoth into the other car in exchange for someone he could tolerate better, like... no, _only_ Shinpachi. He could handle Kagura well enough despite her jokes that were too reminiscent of Gintoki and her straightforward vernacular, but in his mind, she needed to stay in Sougo's car. Of everyone present, she was the only one that could rile Sougo up and cause issues for the self-assured sadist.

A water fight was happening when Hijikata finally got out of the car. He resolutely ignored it and grabbed one of the towels from the floor in the back so he had something to sit on. At some point, he'd relocate himself to a shady spot, but for the time, he wanted to enjoy the sun before it got to be too hot. He needed more sunshine in his life, he wasn't used to being cooped up constantly as he was. There _were_ days where he simply couldn't get out for one reason or another, but a pretty significant amount of sunlight had been cut from his daily life and he was certain that that was having an affect on him somehow.

“Do you want any sunscreen?” Kondo asked as he plopped down right in the dried and shriveled grass with a large case that Hijikata assumed was the paperwork.

“No, I won't be getting wet, so I don't think I'll need it.”

“Do people burn more when they get wet?”

“I don't think it's 'cause they get wet, exactly, it has something to do with the sun reflecting off the water.”

Kondo laughed. “Either way, I don't think you'd have to worry about it. I don't know if I've ever seen you get a sunburn before.”

“Hn.” Hijikata grunted and pulled the case to him to start inspecting what he had to look forward to. “Aren't you gonna go down there?”

“In a bit, I'd like to bake before I dive it. It'll make it more refreshing that way, I think.” Or, in other words, Kondo felt bad about leaving Hijikata alone and wanted to spread his time out equally. “It's nice out here.”

“It gives us privacy.”

“Despite what you say, I think you two are getting along better.”

Hijikata deadpanned. “For the sake of our vices, we've stopped beating each other up, that's about it.” Hijikata lifted a hand to map his puffy nose out with his fingers. “I kinda blame him for my nose. If he weren't doing weird things in the dojo, I wouldn't have stopped in to see what the hell he was up to. I don't trust him going around the barracks by himself, we should instate some rules for him.”

“Doing... weird things?”

“Something with his wings, he's trying to build up muscle! He just – he – arghh! He jumps out of trees!” Hijikata blurted and both his wings and hands were gesticulating. “You see those trees over there? If you guys weren't here, he'd be jumping out of one of them!”

“Why would....”

“He thinks he'll be able to fly!”

“And you don't?”

“W-well, ah, it's not like he doesn't make some halfway decent points about it, but actual _flight_?” Hijikata paused and ran everything through his head, including all the things Wan had said about it. Thinking calmed him down and his wings slowly lowered back into their stretched out and partially folded position – even sitting had become a complicated matter these days. “N...o.”

“Wan didn't seem too optimistic when I spoke to him about it,” Kondo agreed and maybe Hijikata was imagining it, but he almost sounded disappointed. “What happened when he jumped? And,” he squinted at the trees, even raised a hand to block the sun, “where exactly did he jump from? All those branches look pretty high up, even the lowest ones.”

“He fell,” Hijikata replied bluntly and grimaced as he thought back to it. “Fell really hard, got bruises and everything. That's probably why he's still wearing that damn yukata! He jumped from that tree, there, the middle one. See it? I don't know if you can see it, but that slightly hooked branch to the left was his launchpad.”

“Hmm... how long ago was this?”

“Few days.”

“Why didn't you tell me sooner?”

“I wanted to, but we were at the apartment and I didn't want him or anyone else overhearing me saying anything, I don't think he'd react well.”

“There's nothing I can really do about this, anyway.”

Hijikata, despite himself, bit his lip and leaned forward, his wings adjusting accordingly. Gintoki couldn't keep going around jumping out of trees, one of these times he was really going to hurt himself and then what? He could paralyze himself if he wasn't more careful! What the hell was Hijikata supposed to do then? Hijikata already found a walking, uninjured Gintoki insufferable, he didn't even want to imagine how much more annoying a whiny, stationary sugar freak would be.

With a heavy sigh, Hijikata asked, “Why not? Couldn't you at least try?”

“Why would he listen to me?”

“I dunno, he talks to you, doesn't he?”

Kondo scratched an arm – Hijikata _was not_ going to say it was gorilla-like. “We're on good terms, but he's not like you and Sougo.”

 _Damn right he's not_ , Hijikata thought with no small measure of smugness.

“He respects you.”

“In his own way, he does, and you know how I like him.”

Hijikata got a little mad hearing that even though it was something he knew already. Gintoki and Kondo could get on really well, especially if there was free food and drink for Gintoki and good company for Kondo.

“So you should be able to convince him to stop jumping out of trees. No! Say tall things! If you say no trees, I'm sure he'll just find something else that's tall and jump off that because he's an idiot.”

Kondo smirked. “Are you worried about him?”

“Ugh – no! He needs to understand that he's a goddamn liability! I have to be with him most of the time and I can't be held responsible for his stupidity!”

“Bwahah! I'll see what I can do!”

Hijikata let the whole conversation drop, he was done with it and didn't want to discuss Gintoki anymore. He opened the case and started perusing the papers inside, most of which looked to be an absolute wreck. Kondo got up to unload some of the things from the car and Hijikata inspected the food items shoved into some of the bags from his peripherals. He talked to Kondo off and on and got to hear a lot about what Otae was up to these days. Kondo complained about Kyuubei for awhile and how they were around too often, but a majority of the things he said were actually positive. After awhile, though, Kondo was sweating and his skin was slightly reddened.

“You sure you don't want to get in?”

“I'm not gonna move from this spot, I don't trust any of them in that water.”

“Well, if you change your mind you know where to find us!”

Kondo took off and dove into the water, splashing everyone around him. It was like a summary for Hijikata's current life – everyone was off doing what they wanted while Hijikata was stuck on the edge observing. He hadn't ever been the type to be _in_ on things and all he cared about was his job and taking care of Kondo and the Shinsengumi. He didn't have his good fountain pen with him, so he had to use a regular pen that didn't make markings quite as severe as he liked.

Still, even though he was working, he watched everything that happened down in the water. Chicken fights were instigated, Kondo and Sougo versus Gintoki and Kagura. Yorozuya won, but Gintoki was accused of having a one up because of his wings, so they had a rematch with Shinpachi taking Gintoki's place. At one point, Gintoki was sitting on Sadaharu's back and riding him around the pond. He did that until Kagura attacked him and then the dog attacked him too and he disappeared under the water for awhile. He came back up in an explosion of water and used both wings to make a wave that swallowed his attackers whole.

Being left alone was kind of nice in its own way, but he had to stop and grab some food only minutes into his paperwork. His stomach wouldn't stop growling and all the food was right next to him, it was easy to reach out and grab something. He could usually work okay on an empty stomach, but he hadn't gotten breakfast and hadn't gotten enough food the night before. He mentally kicked himself then because he'd meant to ask Kondo if he'd heard anything from Wan or if he'd spoken to him at all, but he figured that if Kondo had, he would have brought it up. It hadn't been that long since Wan had made his visit, Hijikata was probably just being impatient about the whole thing.

Hijikata ate and read, praying that the phone would go off and summon them back. He consumed way more food than he intended, but he couldn't stop. Wan had said that thing about hunger and Hijikata was going to use that as his excuse for eating more than he usually ate for lunch and dinner combined. He was getting quite a bit of work done, so that was at least a positive for the day. He wasn't happy about the conclusion they'd come to about Gintoki, because he _knew_ the idiot would be right back at the jumping thing as soon as he could. He was really going to push Kondo toward giving Gintoki some boundaries at the barracks on the ride back, but he didn't honestly see it as something likely to happen. What good was giving Gintoki rules if there was no one to stay with him at all times to enforce them?

Laughter echoed up from the water and Hijikata idly made a mark on the paper in front of him.

**To Be Continued**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this chapter sitting around for so long =A= I'm sorry for not posting it until now! 
> 
> And for those that don't know, more writes and things get posted on my tumblr ((GintamaJustaway.tumblr.com)) and quite a few things haven't found their way here yet. 
> 
> Thank you all for your patience! I'll update this story specifically again before I leave for Jerusalem at the end of July and hopefully I'll have the cover for the 90+ page one-shot by then so I can post that before I leave too! There's a lot of updates hanging out on my desktop and I know I really should post them instead of letting them rot. I'M SORRY! But please enjoy this update!


	16. I Wasn't Lying About the Whole Toilet Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting along is actually the least of their problems when something unexpected... crawls all over them.

Two days later and Hijikata was jotting down some notes to some notes that had been left for him. Gintoki was nowhere to be found and Hijikata was irritated over that. His attempt to give Gintoki boundaries hadn't been enforced yet and if he were being honest, he'd say he was still pissed at the bastard. The rest of the day at the pond had gone fine until Gintoki, Sougo, and those shitty kids had decided that Hijikata needed a huge wet dog sicked on him. He'd gotten clobbered, his paperwork had gotten messed up and smeared, he was furious by the time the damn dog had been pulled away.

There was a light tapping against the door. “Hijikata-san?”

“What?”

“Lunch!”

“Bring it in.” Yamazaki brought in the tray and Hijikata raised a brow at it. “That's only enough for one.”

“Ah, Sakata-san has been in conference room one all day watching reruns, so I took it to him in there.”

“T'ch, leave it to him to find the TV.”

“Uhm... Fukuchou?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to talk to him about –”

“Yes, dammit! Leave me alone about it, I'll get to it!”

“It happened three times yesterday!”

“I know! I'll deal with it!”

“It's inhuman!”

Hijikata was a delicate mixture of embarrassed and angry as he snapped, “Shut up! One more word and it's seppuku for you! Drop it, I said I'd deal with it!”

Yamazaki left in a hurry and Hijikata shoved his face into his hands to scrub so hard it almost hurt. This wasn't something he wanted to deal with, it wasn't even a conversation he should have to have with another human being, let alone someone Gintoki's age! He'd been putting it off, which wasn't something he did typically, but with this he just... fuck everything, he didn't want to talk to Gintoki about it. Just the thought of bringing it up made everything inside of him sour and it didn't help that his subordinates were pressuring him to do it.

All of his subordinates.

Every single one of them.

Not all of them approached him about it, but he could see it in the way they looked at him like they were silently asking for help, pleading with him to take action. It was so humiliating that Hijikata had to be the one to talk to Gintoki about this. He wanted to defer it off to Kondo, but that wouldn't be fair and Kondo had an actual job to take care of. It wouldn't feel right to hold Kondo up over something like this and Hijikata could handle it, he just didn't want to.

Hijikata ate his food and considered what the day was going to be like. He hadn't seen much of Gintoki, it was only at night that he really seemed to slink in and they'd interact a little before bed. Hijikata wasn't complaining, he was actually able to keep up with his paperwork this way without all the distractions Gintoki always seemed to provide without even trying. Hijikata's nose was also back to normal and wasn't sore anymore, but the taped door still looked ridiculous and stupid. It was holding together okay and so long as it was opened with care, it didn't fall apart again.

So, everything was going as well as it could be and they were going to have a visit from the doctor later. Kondo said it was just for a checkup type of thing to see if anything had changed and Hijikata was hoping to get more out of this meeting than he had the last one. He hadn't heard anything from Wan since then, so he could only assume he hadn't uncovered something and didn't have answers for their questions yet. He'd told Gintoki that morning that the doctor would be coming and his response had been somewhere between a dead fish look and a yawn. The sad part was that that had been, more or less, the most intelligent look he'd received from the bastard in days.

Grumbling, he pulled his tray closer to himself and focused solely on eating, if only to quiet his noisy stomach for awhile.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata stared at his clock and watched the time tick by, Gintoki should be getting back any minute. He was debating whether or not Gintoki would be on time and most of him was leaning towards him being late. He'd lose track of time watching reruns or just forget he had something to do altogether, either way, Hijikata didn't have any faith in Gintoki.

“I'm here, I'm here, I'm here,” Gintoki chanted as he burst into the room, his wings nearly slamming into the frame. “I'm not late, see? I'm here with plenty of time to spare!”

“Three seconds isn't what I'd call plenty of time.”

“Yeah, well, your face isn't what I'd call appealing, so a spare three seconds of having to look at it seems like too much to me.”

“Feh! Just shut up and sit down.”

Gintoki came over and sat, but kept plenty of space between them. “Have you talked to him at all? Is there a reason he wanted to come today?”

“He just wanted to look at us, that's all.”

“You're not still mad about the pond thing, are you?”

“No.”

“So you wanna go tomorrow?”

“No.”

“It'd just be the two of us!”

“Still no.”

Gintoki sighed. “I haven't asked about it for two days, isn't that long enough? We can even make it a quick trip!”

“If you say you won't jump off anything, I'll consider it.”

“That's... a weird thing to have me say.”

“Who cares? Just say it.”

“Okay, I won't jump off stuff.”

Hijikata frowned, he hadn't been expecting Gintoki to give in so easily. He was suspicious, of course he was, but Gintoki only stared back at him and his wings pulled in closer to his body like he was expecting Hijikata to do something to him.

“Fine, I'll think about it.”

A second passed.

“Have you thought about it yet?”

“Every time you annoy me, there's less of a chance I'll agree.”

“I could just talk to Okita-kun or the Gorilla and see if one of them will take me.”

“You're not allowed to bother people with jobs anymore, you're enough of a disturbance as it is.”

Gintoki threw his head back with a frustrated sound. “So just say we can go and I won't need to _bother_ anyone else!”

Voices picked up down the hall and Hijikata said, “I'll let you know later.”

“Whatever,” Gintoki hissed and crossed his arms.

Wan waddled in with a cheery whistle and he smiled when he saw them. “Hello, hello! How are you two feeling?”

Gintoki gave a one handed and very unenthusiastic thumbs up as Hijikata replied, “Been better.”

“Having problems with your wings?”

“No,” Gintoki intoned, “just each other.”

“I see... but your wings are fine?”

“As fine as mine can be,” Hijikata offered.

“Are they acting up less?”

“It's hard to say.”

“Maybe you should start keeping a log of how many times a day it happens and what you're doing when it occurs?”

Hijikata's shoulders dropped – why hadn't he thought of that?

“Yeah, I can do that.”

Wan looked at them both with a critical eye and Hijikata sat more rigid under such a look. His gaze raked over Hijikata, then over Gintoki, and he seemed less and less happy the more he observed them. Hijikata noticed Gintoki trying not to wriggle under Wan's inspection and his wings began to fluff up a bit. With careful, measured steps, Wan walked around them both without touching them, his shoes clunking unevenly against the floor.

“Have you two,” Wan asked slowly, “been preening like I showed you?”

Hijikata looked away and his voice was echoed by Gintoki's when he said, “No.”

“Uh-huh. It shows.”

“How?” Gintoki asked and looked over his shoulder at his left wing. “Is it 'cause they look unkempt or something?”

“In a sense, yes.” Wan walked in front to face them and he scowled with his arms crossed. It was a heavily disapproving look, but it lacked a lot of heat due to the oversized spectacles. “You both have mites.”

“Mites,” Gintoki repeated, voice void of inflection.

Hijikata was stiff. “Like... bugs?”

“Like lice, but mites.”

Gintoki and Hijikata shared a horrified look.

“I'm glad I brought this shampoo,” Wan said, pulling a blue bottle out of his bag, “it'll take care of the problem, just –”

“Give it to me!” Gintoki screeched and lunged for the bottle.

He beat Hijikata there by only a second and then they were both sprinting for the door after crashing into each other.

“Read the directions!” Wan called after them, but Hijikata couldn't take time to acknowledge that he'd heard.

They got jammed in the doorframe, but with enough force, they managed to squeeze through and they accidentally slammed into the opposite wall. They were yelling at the top of their lungs and Hijikata was genuinely disgusted that he had _mites_. He could handle a lot, as the Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi, he was built for and mentally prepared to deal with any number of things that were thrown his way.

But mites?

Little, tiny creatures making a home for themselves all over his body?

 _Fuck no_.

They went to make a turn, but their wings pushed against each other too much and Hijikata lost his balance. He tripped and grabbed onto Gintoki, sending them both down hard on their faces. Gintoki's recovery time was impressive, even Hijikata had to admit that, because right away, he was on his feet and moving. At least, he would have been moving if Hijikata hadn't taken hold of his ankle and forced him down again.

“Ahhh! Let go!”

“If I'm going down, you're going with me!”

Gintoki let out a scream, then grabbed onto Hijikata and pulled him to his feet.

“I bet this is all your fault!” Hijikata yelled as they sprinted.

“ _My_ fault? How?”

“You have terrible hygiene! You're always filthy and getting into things!”

“We take showers at the same time everyday here! I'm clean!”

“You coulda brought them in when you fell on that anthill!”

“And _you_ coulda brought them in after sitting in the dirt so long at the pond!”

They ran down the hall and Oka nearly got trampled along the way, but they made it to the bathroom with no casualties. Gintoki kept a hold on Hijikata to make sure he didn't fall and Hijikata couldn't bring himself to be indignant about it, he just wanted to shower. He did, however, shove Gintoki away once the shower stalls came into view and he went for his own farther down the line.

They ripped at their clothes and Gintoki called out, “They'll only be in our feathers and hair, the bottle says to get the infested areas wet!”

Hijikata did so and they met sopping wet just outside the stalls in just their boxers. Gintoki read the instructions out loud and it was pretty straightforward: apply the shampoo to the contaminated areas, let it soak for ten to fifteen minutes, then rinse. Gintoki poured some in his palm and immediately started running his fingers through his hair, then Hijikata did the same. He scrubbed until his hair was all suds and Gintoki looked like he had an afro made of bubbles.

“Sit,” Hijikata instructed and all but pushed Gintoki down onto one of the benches.

He poured shampoo along the ridges of Gintoki's wings and started working that into his feathers, lathering everything up until there were plenty of suds to spread everywhere. For once, Gintoki held still, but both of his legs were moving up and down restlessly.

“This is so gross. Hurry up!”

“I'm goin' as fast as I can! You don't want me to miss some, do you?”

“No....”

“Just hold still.”

“It stings,” Gintoki grumbled.

“I know.”

“I don't like this.”

“I don't care, you're not leavin' until you're clean.”

“Same to you.”

“I'm gonna have someone else do my wings.”

“Ehh?”

“T'ch, I don't trust you.”

“That's just stupid, don't bother working people with something like this. Isn't that what you were lecturing me about earlier?”

“Ah... that's....”

Gintoki actually got him there, he found he had nothing to say to that. He truly didn't want to bother anyone from their job or disrupt the work of others, so it was with a really easy tug that Gintoki got Hijikata to sit down in his place. Shampoo was poured on both his wings and hands awkwardly smeared it all over the place. Gintoki's hands weren't rough and they certainly created a lot of suds, but Hijikata was still relatively uncomfortable. He stayed motionless and only ducked his head when his right wing shot out and back, hitting Gintoki with a bubbly _thwop_.

“Asshole,” Gintoki muttered.

“That wasn't my fault....”

“Sure it wasn't.”

Fingers lathered the soap into his feathers and Hijikata held as still as he could. It stung just as Gintoki had said, but it sort of itched more than it hurt. Hijikata also helped out when he could by getting the insides of his wings, but the backs were at Gintoki's mercy and it actually felt like he was trying to do a good job. When Gintoki finished, they were each able to get the inside feathers of their own wings more thoroughly and it was during that lull of quietness that Hijikata decided to address the _issue_.

“T-there's, ah, somethin' I need to talk to you about.”

Gintoki's eyes grew large and he stopped massaging more shampoo into his feathers to point to his chest. “Me? What the hell would you ever need to talk to me about?”

Hijikata's face was bright red and he said in a rush, “Effective immediately, you're not allowed to shit in the restroom anymore!”

The only sound that followed was that of some suds hitting the tile with a _plop, plop, plop_. Hijikata hadn't been able to believe it when the first subordinate approached him about the toilet issue, but after more people emerged with their own toilet stories involving Gintoki, a part of Hijikata had shriveled up and died of embarrassment. Who clogged that many toilets? And in such a short amount of time!

“What the...? Why not?”

“You clogged _three_ toilets!”

“So what?”

“In _one_ day!”

“Again! So what?”

“Do you know how disgustin' that is?”

“Do you know that shitting is a natural bodily function?”

“What are you even eating to make you shit so goddamn much?”

“Whatever the hell I'm being fed here!”

“Don't you dare blame the Shinsengumi for your – y-your – _problem_!”

“Shitting isn't a problem! And if I can't shit in a toilet, then where am I supposed to do it? Out in the yard like some animal?”

“No, not in the yard, you're so gross! Hold it in! I don't care how you do it, just quit cloggin' the goddamn toilets!”

“Maybe it's not me! Maybe it's your toilets!”

“Our toilets are fine! We never had this problem until you came along!”

“We've never had a problem with the toilet at the apartment!” Gintoki's wings were ruffled enough to make suds drip and plop off them. “Shitting isn't even a _problem_! It's the food you have here! It always feels like I'm shitting a brick, I can't imagine how the stupid toilets must feel!”

“They're toilets, they don't feel anythin'!”

“Then the toilets are lucky, because all I feel is pain! Don't even arrest people anymore, just make them come here and eat the food, then have them try to shit afterward!”

Hijikata covered his face with a hand and focused every ounce of himself into not replying or reacting. Gintoki's stupidity literally astounded him and his only choice in this situation was to smother himself and not react or he'd regret it, he knew he would. He took several deep breaths and spelled the word mayonnaise in his head a few times until he could breathe normally. He never wanted to think about toilets again after this. When he opened his eyes again, he found Gintoki staring down at his damp boxers and he was looking way too hard to be just spacing out.

“You got a problem over there?”

“Maybe.” He frowned. “There's hair down there.”

“Your powers of observation are amazing. Please tell me I don't have to give you a damn anatomy lesson to explain any of that.”

“While it might be funny to hear you try, I'd rather like to know whether mites can live in pubes or not.”

“Um, probably?”

“Protect the dragon balls!” Gintoki hailed and started looking around inside his boxers. Hijikata promptly showed Gintoki his back and glared at chipped tile just inside one of the shower stalls. “Don't be such a girl, you can't see anything.”

“I know that!” Hijikata snapped and crossed his arms. “You're not screaming, so does that mean you're... good?”

“I don't see anything moving... but I kinda wanna wash it anyway.”

Hijikata picked up the bottle and read, “For external use only. If I were you, I'd keep this stuff away from anything sensitive.”

“Hmm... maybe you've got a point. And you can turn around already, I'm done. Though, you might wanna check yourself, just in case.”

Sighing, Hijikata tilted his head forward and pulled out the front of his boxers with one hand. He ran his fingers through his happy trail and moved slowly down toward the thicker part, searching for any movement. He did this a few times, but didn't see any little mites. He figured that since his hair was darker, they'd stand out and be easier to see, so it was relieving that he wasn't catching sight of so much as a single flake of dandruff.

“I think I'm good.”

“Great. Now, quit playing with yourself and let's rinse off.”

“Has it been fifteen minutes?”

“I thought we were doing ten?”

“Of course we're doing fifteen! We've gotta make sure all the little bastards are dead!”

“True.”

“So how long has it been?”

“Dunno, thought you were keeping track.”

Hijikata gargled. “If you didn't know, then why did you wanna rinse off?”

“It felt like ten minutes had gone by!” Gintoki wriggled in place and walked around in a tiny circle. “It's all tingly.”

“I hope that's the feeling of mites dying.”

“Kinda gross, but I agree.”

“We're gonna have to start preening now, you know.”

Gintoki shrugged and started picking at his ear. “I'm fine with that. Was fine with it before, but figured you'd snap at me if I brought it up.”

“Oh.”

Hijikata couldn't tell if he was being honest or not, but... it was likely that he was. He wasn't expecting to feel bad about it, but he kind of did feel like a heel. Their communications skills were terrible and even after having to spend so much time with each other, they had trouble handling one another. The conversation was promptly dropped and the rest of their time was spent in silence, except for the hush of Gintoki's wings since the bastard couldn't sit still. He was so much like a child sometimes and Hijikata had to really work hard not to comment on it or tell him to shut up. He'd also do everything in his power to make sure the toilet issue never happened again.

“I'd call that fifteen minutes,” Gintoki said and he sounded desperate for it to be true – Hijikata couldn't blame him.

“Yeah.”

“How do you wanna do this?”

Hijikata thought about it a moment, then said, “Initial rinse in the shower, then we'll use the hose for the rest.”

Gintoki didn't question it, he dove right into the shower and started rinsing himself, boxers and all. Hijikata wasn't much better off and found he didn't even care that the water wasn't as warm as he might have wanted it. He turned it on full blast and shoved himself underneath the spray so he could wash away as many suds as he could. He got it out of his hair first, then turned his attention to his wings and began rinsing what he could. He still didn't quite fit into the stall, so he had to contort himself into some interesting positions to get at different parts of himself and it was all for an only somewhat satisfying result. Glancing over, he saw Gintoki was having an even more difficult time of it and he actually just looked like an unnatural mass of sodden feathers.

“Oi! You done over there?”

“About as done as I can be,” the glistening feathers replied in a muffled voice.

“Good, come out here.”

Hijikata shut off his water and didn't bother with a towel just yet since they weren't finished. Gintoki emerged with his hair sticking up in all directions instead of being plastered to his face and Hijikata could only guess that he'd been running his hands through his hair repeatedly.

“What's next?”

“Sit.”

“You've been telling me to do that a lot today.”

“And you've done it every time.”

Gintoki huffed indignantly, but Hijikata ignored him and pulled out one of the hoses they had. There was a nozzle that connected to it and after attaching the other end to the shower head, he turned on the water. After some spitting and hissing, the nozzle came to life and gurgled up a healthy spray that Hijikata approached Gintoki with. Most of the suds had been removed from Gintoki's white feathers, but when he pressed the nozzle to the ridge, buried suds came rushing forward. He hated to think that there were dead mites still on them and they were caught in the crevices of their feathers, so he made sure to press the nozzle as close as he could.

“These wings are more trouble than they're worth.”

“Hn. Spread this wing out.”

Gintoki did so and Hijikata followed the ridge with the nozzle pressed right to the feathers. Soap and suds slid off toward the drain and it was nasty thinking about all the dead little buggy bodies that were flowing away. It was taking so much out of him to not think about all the _living_ ones that had been patrolling around on his own body. How long had they been there? Days? How had he not noticed them or felt them? It grossed him out enough to think that they'd been on him even for a _minute_ , forget about longer than that!

“Angle this wing,” Hijikata tapped Gintoki's left one, “just move it forward a little so the bottom ones come out.”

Gintoki complied and it made the muscles in his back flex, which wasn't something new, but since he had nothing else to look at, Hijikata actually _noticed_. He'd noticed them once before, the day Gintoki had shown off all his bruises, but now they seemed more glaring. He'd never really considered just how many scars were littered across Gintoki's pale skin. Hijikata was used to seeing scars and they didn't bother him, but the sheer number of them that Gintoki had was both impressive and sad. They weren't too far away from each other in age – at least, Hijikata thought – and yet Gintoki had double the amount of scarring, probably even more than that if he cared to count. His eyes flicked to the scar on Gintoki's shoulder and it was hard to believe that Hijikata had managed to leave something like that behind, he hadn't even really known Gintoki then.

“What's the hold up back there?”

Hijikata blinked, he hadn't realized he'd paused. “A-ah, want me to rinse your hair, too?”

Gintoki sighed. “Might as well.”

Hijikata gently pulled on a handful of it to get Gintoki to tilt his head back so he could get a better angle on it.

“Just don't get any of that crap in my eyes.”

Hijikata grumbled under his breath and once Gintoki's head was where he wanted it, he used his hand like a visor against Gintoki's forehead to stay any water that tried to run off. He used the nozzle to rinse the hair on the back of Gintoki's neck and slowly worked his way upward, but he didn't see any of the soap coming forward like it had on his wings. Still, he thoroughly went through Gintoki's hair and then did one last rinse of his wings, just to be safe.

“Good?”

With a critical eye, Hijikata studied the pristine white before him and nodded. “I think so.”

“You're up!” They traded places and Gintoki took the hose from him. “Better hurry, I think the hot water is running low.”

“Don't hurry so much that you miss something.”

“I won't, I won't, don't get your boxers in a bunch.”

Warm water cascaded down Hijikata's right wing and he cursed the goosebumps that broke out over his skin. Gintoki had to have noticed, but he didn't say anything and just went about rinsing him. Black feathers joined white ones around the drain and Hijikata glared at them for lack of something more constructive to do. Every once in awhile, Gintoki would give him some direction and he'd oblige as best he could. The water _was_ starting to get cooler the longer it ran, but he'd deal with it if it meant a bug free body.

“We don't have any clean clothes in here,” Gintoki commented.

“I'll have someone come in and burn the ones on the floor.”

Gintoki sprayed near the base of Hijikata's right wing. “Good. Have our bedding cleaned, too. Or burned, actually. Just burn everything so they can't latch onto us again.”

“Oh, yeah,” Hijikata muttered sarcastically, “that sounds like a perfect solution.”

“Don't be a dick.”

Gintoki's hand came up and shielded Hijikata's eyes from the water as his hair was tended to. Not long after, Hijikata deemed himself done since the water had gone cold and he scrounged them up some towels. They dried on their way back to Hijikata's room and he felt bad for leaving trails of water everywhere, but there was little he could do about it. Gintoki put on one of his yukatas, then changed his boxers once he was covered, and Hijikata did much the same thing. Both of them stayed well away from the futons and Hijikata sent out some important texts about the mites to a couple subordinates he knew were on laundry duty for the week. Towel still in hand, Hijikata led the way back to the conference room Wan was waiting for them in.

“All better?”

“Kinda,” Gintoki replied and retook his seat, “mind looking again now?”

“Certainly, certainly,” Wan said and went over to inspect Gintoki's wings.

Hijikata sat down next to him and kept toweling at his hair to make sure he wouldn't spread more water droplets around. Gintoki obviously didn't care because his stupid perms were dripping all over his shoulders and the curly ringlets still looked weighted down instead of frizzy.

“You're clear!” He moved over to Hijikata. “Your turn?” Hijikata nodded and let Wan have a look at his wings as well as a chance to filter through his hair. It didn't take long for him to get his clearance, but Wan warned, “Keep a close eye on yourselves over the next couple days, it doesn't take much for them to come back.”

“Can we keep the shampoo?”

“Of course!”

Hijikata asked, “Would anyone else have them?”

“Not likely. You two have the highest body temperatures around here and that's what they're the most attracted to. I told your Commander, but since his hair was clean, I don't think anyone else has to worry about it.”

“That's good.”

“You ready to get started on the checkup?”

Hijikata sighed and shared a despondent look with Gintoki who stole his towel to begin drying his own hair better.

**To Be Continued**


	17. All My Titles Have Been Useless and This One is the Same I Am So Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t want to ruin this for anyone, but something rather... explosive happens here. Prepare yourself.

“Okay,” Wan made marks on a clipboard, “I've checked your weight, I took both your temperatures, I measured your wings, I rechecked for mites twice, good, good, good, this is all looking good. Which just leaves this one last thing, I need a blood sample from both of you.”

Hijikata shrank back a little. “Why?”

“I need to compare it to a regular blood sample and see if there are any abnormalities or mutations.”

“Can't you do that with saliva?”

“It's not as reliable as a blood sample and I think it's important to check certain things. For example, since your temperature is higher, your metabolism is working faster, so what's your red and white blood cell count doing? Are they going up? Going down? Is your immune system better or worse than an average person? I can't answer any of these questions without looking at a blood sample.”

“Fine,” Hijikata relented with a heavy sigh. “Which arm?”

“Either one!”

Wan came over with a small kit and tied a rubber band around Hijikata's right bicep. Hijikata watched Wan clean the inside of his elbow with a sterile wipe, then press the needle to his skin and push. It was just a mild sting and once Wan pushed in the small plastic plunger, the compression of the tube caused the blood to fill it up within seconds. Moments later, Wan had the needle extracted and was holding a white wad of gauze against the tiny hole as he loosened the band until it fell away. Hijikata took over and held the gauze in place to help staunch the bleeding and that was it, he was done.

“Your turn!” Wan said, walking over to Gintoki.

“You're not going to hit me with more random items, are you?”

“Like I've told you, I only do that if I have to. Stop chewing the thermometer and we might get along a little better with that.”

Gintoki pouted. “I can't help it.”

“Then I can't help it if a roll of gauze decides to hit you when you misbehave.”

“I'm not a child.”

“Yet you still chew the thermometer,” Wan said and tied the rubber band around Gintoki's right arm.

“I hate that thing.”

“Why?”

“It tastes funny.”

“It does not.”

“It does.”

Hijikata rolled his eyes and said to Wan, “Don't argue with him, it only encourages him.”

“Maybe so, but perhaps this way he'll learn.”

“I doubt that's possible,” Hijikata replied and Gintoki stuck his tongue out at him. “Did you find anything out with our feathers?”

“Of course, of course! I'm still working on more specific species, but it looks to me like you're both birds of prey.”

“But different types?” Gintoki asked, glancing at his left wing just as Wan put the needle in.

“You both have different sets of wings, the shapes aren't exactly the same. Yours,” he pointed to Gintoki, “are long and pointed, but you have some slot space in there. Your wings confuse me, I must confess. Yours,” he turned a finger to Hijikata once he'd taken the needle out again, “are just long and pointed, which is good for high speeds and level flight.”

“Just not level walking,” Hijikata grumbled.

Gintoki raised his free hand while his other one held the wad of gauze in place. “What do the slots mean?”

“I'm not sure what the mix means, but slotted feathers help with soaring or gliding. Most birds with slotted feathers can fly while expending minimal energy to remain aloft. That would certainly account for the size of yours and any birds with feather structures like this are built to eat meat and catch their own food.”

“Cool.”

“Will the blood tell you more?” Hijikata asked.

“Possibly and I'm still doing research. May I take some more of your feathers back with me? There seems to be quite a few here on the floor.”

“Help yourself,” Gintoki said and used a wing to usher some feathers toward Wan. “Is there anything else?”

“No, I'm all set for this visit.”

“Good, I'm going back to the room,” Gintoki announced and excused himself with one last acknowledgment to Wan.

Once he was gone, literally right when the door closed, Wan shuffled up to Hijikata. “May I have a word with you?”

“Uh... yeah?”

“Is everything going okay here?”

“What do you mean?”

“This might be delicate and it might also be nothing, but I think it's important to bring it up just in case. See, I wasn't here all that long ago and between then and now, Sakata-kun has lost close to six pounds. That's not a significant amount of weight, there could be feather loss and water weight loss factored into that, but I still thought I should ask.”

Hijikata was frowning. “He hasn't said anything to me about... anything. Shouldn't you be asking him?”

“Forgive me if this sounds forward, but he isn't the most forthcoming patient I've ever had. I don't know if you've noticed, but he's never comfortable when I have to touch him and today he was even worse off. Even just now I thought he was going to rip his arm out of my grasp when I took his blood! He hid it well enough, but he did _not_ want me coming anywhere near him with needles and he said nothing to me about it. If something bigger was troubling him, I don't get the feeling he'd want to mention it to me.” Wan paused and offered belatedly, “The ones that chew the thermometers are always trouble.”

Hijikata just stared.

No, he hadn't noticed anything strange about today, not a damn thing. He knew that Gintoki didn't like doctors and he'd seen him get squirmy before, but a lot of people didn't handle strangers touching them well and so Hijikata hadn't thought anything of it. None of this was really making any sense to him. Gintoki had clogged a bunch of toilets recently, didn't that mean that he was eating enough? Normally, people didn't shit unless they ate enough to make shit. Maybe he'd... shit six pounds out of himself since the last time they saw Wan?

That was unlikely and Hijikata knew it.

“I really don't know anything about that or what might be wrong, he seems normal to me.” Well, what Hijikata defined as normal for Gintoki, anyway. “Are there signs I should be looking for?”

“Is he eating all his food?”

“I don't know? I assume so?”

“You don't eat together?”

“No, not usually.”

“Oh.”

“I can ask some subordinates and see if they know how much he has been eating.”

Wan gave him a funny look, but replied, “That'd be good, I think. Has he been ill recently that you know of?”

“Ill like puking?”

“That's one form of illness, yes.”

He really didn't care for Wan's tone.

“Then, no. As I'm sure you can tell by now, he and I aren't exactly what you'd call close. I don't even know what he really does with his days except watch TV, shower at the time we're supposed to, and then come to my room to sleep. He goes to the dojo every once in awhile and we occasionally go to the pond together, but that's pretty much it. In the few times I see him in a given day lately, he seems the normal amount of annoying to me and that's all I can tell you.”

“I see,” Wan said after a lengthy pause. “That certainly accounts for why neither of you had done any preening and now your comment when I'd asked if you two were friends makes a lot more sense.”

Hijikata stood and made to leave. “I'll keep what you said in mind.”

It was obvious Wan wanted to say more, but all he ended up voicing was, “See that you do, I'll be in touch.”

Hijikata left and headed back to his room, though, he wasn't sure if that was really where he wanted to be. His face was hot, his brow was ticking, and he didn't know what exactly he was so irritated about. He took pride in being a really perceptive person, he missed nothing when it came to his job or his subordinates. Yamazaki wanted to sneak off to play badminton? Hijikata knew every time. Sougo disappeared for a nap? Of course Hijikata could schedule around that and allot it enough to keep the day running smooth. Someone didn't turn in their paperwork? Hijikata had it covered.

Why, then, was a doctor noticing something Hijikata should have already been aware of? They even showered at the same time and Hijikata sometimes helped Gintoki put his clothes on! He and Gintoki practically lived together and Gintoki could lose six pounds without Hijikata noticing?

 _How_?

He chewed his bottom lip as he thought it over and he knew he couldn't just ask Gintoki about it. Doing that was a surefire way to push Gintoki away and make him needlessly defensive. What Hijikata needed was a plan and thankfully, it just so happened that he was really fucking good at devising solid plans.

“Tosshi!”

Hijikata jerked to a stop and tucked his wings in so he could spin around and face Kondo.

“What?”

“We need you to come this way!” Kondo grinned and waved Hijikata toward him. “We're about to start a meeting and we need you in here.”

“I didn't know about any meeting.”

“Spur of the moment, I'm sorry. That brings up something else I wanted to talk to you about, do you think you could take over the scheduling again?”

Hijikata's heart leapt as he walked and for a second he feared an impromptu heart attack. “Of course, I don't know why you gave it to someone else to begin with.”

“Right, the wings shouldn't have been a worry at all,” Kondo teased with one of his loud laughs.

“But what's going on? What's this meeting for?”

“Do you remember a few months ago when one of our contacts went underground?”

Hijikata thought back and nodded. “We decided to cease contact so as not to endanger his mission.”

“Well, he popped back up! He's missing an arm now, but he's just as willing as he was before to work with us.”

“He's missing an arm? What the hell happened to him?”

“Not sure yet, we're still working on that, but he seems okay with it.”

Hijikata was more excited than he had been in weeks, it felt, and his mind had already kicked into high gear. Their contact's name was Ishido and they'd been working together for a couple years. He was reliable, discreet, and he could blend into just about any environment. It might have been bad to say, but he had one of those forgettable faces and he got overlooked easily so long as he didn't do something stupid to get himself noticed. To Hijikata's recollection, he used to be a heavy drug addict, but kicked the habit and wanted to do something meaningful with his life. Since most places wouldn't hire him thanks to the track marks on his arms – arm, singular now – he'd come to the Shinsengumi with an offer. They'd been skeptical at first, of course, but Ishido had proven himself useful many times and Hijikata had been genuinely disheartened to see him go undercover so deep.

To hear that he was back after he'd gone to get information about one of the most hostile gangs in the area, that got Hijikata's blood flowing. What'd he find out? Where had he been? What if he'd joined the gang somehow? There were a lot of possibilities and Hijikata was already planning out the things the Shinsengumi needed to do to prepare for various outcomes. If they could somehow arrest some of the key members of the gang and shut them down or at least stall them for awhile, that'd be, in a word,  _ awesome _ . 

“Are we bringing him here?”

“It's too dangerous,” Kondo replied and walked into the conference room. “I sent Oka to get a report.”

“Inoue would've been better. Where's Yamazaki?”

“I'm... not sure.”

Hijikata looked at the other people in the room and pinned Harada with a glare. “Go to my room and get my phone. Niki! Go to the archives and grab all of Ishida's files, I wanna go over them later.”

He sat down at the table and his wings curled comfortably inward with the tips brushing the floor. A coffee was set in front of him and once he had his phone, he was finding out where everyone else was so he could get his footing, so to speak. It hadn't been  _ that _ long since he'd done this and it felt good to be part of it again, he didn't think he should have stopped to begin with. Wings or no wings, nothing should have kept him from doing his job and he was sort of ashamed of himself for not putting his foot down sooner. 

“Who did you put in charge of the scheduling?”

“I'd actually been taking care of it,” Kondo answered.

That explained why things didn't appear to be a _complete_ clusterfuck like Hijikata had feared.

“Good, and just because I know this is gonna come up later, how're we gonna handle this when I have to go back to the Yorozuya pit? I refuse to give any of this up again.”

“Conference calls for meetings and then like before we'll send someone over everyday, multiple times if we need to. Now that you have the schedule back, you can work it in to make sure it gets done whenever you'd prefer.”

“I'd prefer just staying here,” Hijikata commented. “Why're you letting me do all this stuff again?”

“The doctor said you're healthy and in no danger, so I see no reason to keep worrying and torturing you with an abundance of paperwork.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“Glad to have you back.”

Hijikata had no idea how bad he'd wanted to hear those words until Kondo actually said them.

“Right, let's get this meeting underway.”

-o-O-o-

The next two days were the best Hijikata had had in a long time. He was busy, he was all over the barracks, he was doing so much more than just paperwork and it was painfully clear his faction benefited from him. His wings still acted up, but everyone just ignored it and sometimes it would work out that Hijikata would conveniently hit someone that needed it. Like when Oka was taking his sweet time doing what Hijikata had told him to, a nice little jab from a black wing certainly got him moving a lot faster.

He hadn't seen Gintoki all that much, but he assumed he was tooling around with Sougo since that sadist wasn't making any appearances. He and Gintoki hadn't tried the preening thing yet, Hijikata had been too busy and Gintoki didn't seem interested in much of anything, least of all preening. From what Hijikata knew, all Gintoki did was watch TV, read Jump, and that was basically it. He hadn't gone to the dojo recently and that suited Hijikata just fine, it kept Gintoki out of his way. However, he _was_ keeping what Wan had mentioned in mind, it was just that he hadn't had any opportunities to do anything about it. Not that he thought there was anything he could do to begin with and there might not even be anything to do about... anything.

“I got the papers you asked for!”

Hijikata's wings flung out and he snapped, “What've I told you about knocking?”

“S-sorry! I'll remember for next time!” Yamazaki replied and cautiously held the papers out.

“That's what you said last time.”

“I'll really remember this time!”

“Yeah, yeah, get lost,” Hijikata grumbled, already absorbed in the new papers. Except, once Yamazaki was at the door, he slammed a fist on his desk. “No, wait! Get back here!”

Yamazaki jumped at least a foot in the air and quickly returned. “Yes? Did I forget something?”

“No, not exactly. Just... have we had anymore... problems?”

“Problems?” Hijikata glared at him and he stiffened. “Oh! _Problems!_ Nope, not that I've heard, anyway.”

“That's good.”

Yamazaki shuffled his feet in the awkward silence that followed and he looked at his phone to give himself something to do.

“Is there something else you needed?”

“N – yes.” His face heated up and and scowled at the floor. “Do you take his food into him?”

“Not all the time, no.”

“Did you do it today?”

“No, that was Todo's job today.”

Hijikata nodded and pulled out the schedule. “I'm gonna write in time for you to take care of his food from now on.”

“Okay, but can I ask why?”

“No.”

“So, for no reason at all, you want me to be the one that delivers food to danna.”

“Yes.”

“And if I were to mention this to him –”

“You will do no such thing.”

Yamazaki tactfully stepped out of wing range. “Then why're you having me do it? I don't mind, I really like him, but if there's something I need to watch out for then I need to know.”

“All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and bring his tray here when you pick it back up from him.”

“Fukuchou, that's weird.”

“It's not like that!”

“Is he sick?”

“I dunno, maybe!”

Yamazaki's brow furrowed in concern as he replied, “Is he? Shouldn't you call the doctor? I should let Kondo-san know! I haven't noticed him getting sick at all... do you know something I don't?”

“No, just do this and say nothing.”

“Okay... I still think that's weird.”

“I'm only checking up on something, don't worry about it.”

“...okay.”

“You can go.”

Yamazaki left, but literally just five minutes later, there was knocking on Hijikata's door.

“What?”

Yamazaki poked his head in. “I remembered to knock, see?”

“Congratulations, you win nothing. What do you want?”

“You have visitors.”

“Visitors? What kind?”

“The kind that you might not be happy to see.”

Confused, Hijikata waved a hand. “Send them in.”

Kagura and Shinpachi walked in, both carrying several things in their arms.

“Where's Gin-chan?” Kagura asked.

“Ah... I'm actually not sure. Haven't seen him in a few hours.” They stared at him expectantly and an all too familiar feeling of dread sank into Hijikata's gut because he just noticed that Yamazaki had disappeared. “I g-guess I could take you to go find him...?”

Both kids brightened up and came farther in to set their loads down – Hijikata didn't want to think about what they'd brought over. Hijikata sighed and got up, though, he was tempted to call someone to find Gintoki for him. Sougo wouldn't be a bad call since it was possible Gintoki was lounging with him. He knew he should maybe check the dojo, but he hoped Gintoki hadn't ventured in there today, so that left the next most logical choice, which was the conference room with the TV. Hijikata led the kids out into the hall and went that way – he was calling this an excuse to stretch his wings and legs.

“Are you two staying the night?”

“Maybe,” Kagura replied and batted at the ridge of his left wing. “What's it to you, mayora?”

“How about it's my room and I'm not dealing with another hellish Yorozuya sleepover?”

“Oh, I'll show you –”

“We just wanted to see Gin-san,” Shinpachi interrupted and Hijikata glanced over his shoulder to see him smothering her.

He rolled his eyes and he was so fucking happy to open the conference room door to find Gintoki watching TV. He ushered the kids in and left them to it, he didn't have time to deal with that nonsense. He quickly returned to his room, his wings only twitching once the whole time, but his mouth turned into a frown when he saw a note on his door.

 _I was asked to bring him in after you'd left, I'm sorry_.

Confused, Hijikata opened his door and stopped.

“Yamazaki,” Hijikata growled under his breath and remained frozen in the doorway.

Sadaharu wasn't looking at him, but there was an ear twitched in his direction, so he wasn't going to assume he was invisible. The oversized Amanto was chewing on something and when Hijikata took a step farther into the room, the dog stopped chewing. Hijikata's palms started to sweat and he shuffled a little closer to his desk. His plan was to gather up some paperwork and take it to a different room so the dog could have free reign or whatever. Except, it didn't seem like Sadaharu was going to let him just _walk in_ and that was a problem.

He didn't know the best way to handle this.

-o-O-o-

“Oi, Kagura, get on my wing.”

“Just flop on it?”

“Yeah.”

Gintoki was on his stomach and had his wings stretched out over the kids as they watched some daytime soaps. They were waiting for the new one to come on, but first they had to watch the scheduled reruns before they could get to it. Kagura rolled out from under his wing and hopped up to drape herself over his left one. He'd lowered his wing so it was easy for her to do and once she was on, he flexed and lifted her up off the ground a little ways. She laughed and grabbed onto the thick ridge of his wing so she had something to help keep her balanced.

“You're heavy,” he griped and his muscles had already begun to ache.

“Why did you want me to do this?”

“Mmm... bored.”

That, and he wanted to practice a bit more with his wings. He didn't feel like he'd built up enough of the muscles he needed and how was he going to try flying again if he knew he'd just fall on his face like last time? He at least wanted to be able to glide or... figure out _how_ to glide, that'd be nice. It might even get Hijikata off his back about it. It was so irritating that Hijikata didn't think he could do it and didn't even want him to try.

With that in mind, he lowered his wing as much as he thought he could without dropping her and raised it back up. She laughed when she was higher up and Gintoki was straining himself to keep her at a point where she wouldn't roll inward and land on him. He lowered her back down and yelped as Shinpachi took the opportunity to get on his other wing.

“I don't remember inviting you to join in,” Gintoki whined.

“I want to be part of whatever this is.”

“You're too heavy! Just put your glasses up there instead!”

“No!” Shinpachi patted Gintoki's wing. “Up! Let's go!”

Gintoki sighed and braced himself to raise both wings up at the same time. If he'd been straining before, now he was downright suffering and his back was protesting in a very painful way. Sharp little daggers needled down his back, around the base of his wings, and to the front of his chest. He raised Kagura and Shinpachi as high as he could without breaking something, then lowered them back down very carefully. He could feel himself starting to shake just a little bit, but he still tried to lift them back up regardless.

“You look like you're struggling down there,” Kagura teased.

“Shut up!” Gintoki wheezed. “I'm fine!”

Shinpachi peered over an edge of white feathers. “You're sweating an awful lot for someone that's fine.”

“That's not sweat! That's condensation from the humidity!”

“That's... not how that works.”

“No one asked you!”

He pressed his palms flat on the floor and dug his fingers in, hoping that that might help him. It definitely didn't, but he liked to pretend that it was somehow giving him more leverage. His muscles were protesting against him as he lowered the kids again and the shaking was a lot more noticeable now. Even his leg was twitching! His right thigh was twitching and yeah, okay, his ass was clenched pretty hard, but for it to effect his leg was just stupid.

“Don't hurt yourself, old man!” Kagura jeered and in response, Gintoki glared at her as he began raising them up again.

His back and chest were both telling him not to do it, but he wasn't listening. He grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried his hardest to get the kids raised up one last time. Gintoki ducked his head and pushed, pushed, pushed –

“Gin-san, no!”

“Too much!”

His eyes snapped open just as both kids fell and he couldn't help it – he really, _really_ couldn't help it! – when a loud fart ripped out of him under the weight of Kagura and Shinpachi landing on top of him. The flatulence was so powerful as it came out that it actually hurt unleashing it into the room and the breath had been successfully knocked out of him. His wings collapsed against the floor and both kids clamored off him, each of them gagging and coughing.

“That,” Shinpachi gasped, “is the _worst_ smelling thing!”

“My eyes!” Kagura cried.

“My glasses are fogged!”

“They are _not_ ,” Gintoki called once he had some breath back.

Kagura was off to the side rolling around and Shinpachi was somewhere behind him probably doing the same thing. It smelled terrible in the room, but since it was Gintoki's own fragrance, he didn't mind it so much. The kids might have been slowly suffocating, but it was their fault for landing on him and squishing the fart out of him. Gintoki wiped sweat from his brow and pulled his exhausted wings toward himself to lightly test them. He was sore on both sides of his body and he might have just blown himself a second asshole with the force of that fart, but overall, he felt okay.

“I think Kagura died.”

Gintoki glanced over at her motionless form and snorted. “She'll be fine. Throw some sukonbu at her like a phoenix down and she'll perk right back up. Make yourself useful and go open a door or something.”

It took the better part of an hour before the room smelled tolerable again and the kids gave Gintoki plenty of space during that timeframe. They watched the soap they wanted, then deemed that enough TV for the time being and gathered their things to set off for Hijikata's room. Gintoki wasn't thrilled about going back there, but he had little choice and saw no point in avoiding the inevitable any longer. Gintoki was the one that entered the room first, but after only two steps inside, he was coming to a stop.

“What's... going on?”

“You all might be fine being lazy, but I'm not like that and neither is the dog.”

Sadaharu let out an, “ _Arf_!”

“What'd you do to Sadaharu?”

“Nothing. Except he's now Mayo Warrior Two and you should address him as such.”

“Why's in the corner?”

“Punishment.”

Kagura frowned. “You have no right to punish Sadaharu!”

“Mayo Warrior Two,” Hijikata replied coolly. “He chewed up one of my shoes, I have every right to punish him for that.”

“What's happening?” Gintoki whispered to Shinpachi.

“I have no idea.” He took a step forward and frowned at the pile of papers and things neatly stacked at the top of Gintoki's futon. “Did you go through our mail?”

“Kinda,” Hijikata replied and dodged the good shoe Kagura threw at him on her way over to Sadaharu. “It was all over the floor, so I went to pick it up. It's now organized from least to most difficult and if you leave now, you could probably get the first few done today.”

Gintoki walked farther into the room and flopped down on his futon. “Isn't going through other people's mail a felony?”

“Not when it's cluttering that person's floor.”

“It wasn't cluttering,” Shinpachi corrected as he flipped through the stack, “but I admit that it wasn't in the neatest pile.”

“Don't take his side,” Gintoki admonished, “it'll go right to his bossy ego.”

“I wasn't, but I'll say that this is actually helpful. Will you look at them and pick out some for us? Everything has been piling up and we still need to make money somehow.”

Kagura came over and shoved herself up next to Gintoki so that she was under his wing. She also sort of pushed him to the edge of the bedding to make room for herself and though Gintoki grumbled about it, he didn't mind too much. Sadaharu wasn't in the corner anymore, but he was still wearing whatever ridiculous mayonnaise shaped thing Hijikata had put on his head.

“You'll probably get more done without me around,” Gintoki said and held his hand out for the stack.

Kagura muttered, “It's not as much fun.”

“But at least we get something of a salary out of it,” Shinpachi said.

Gintoki glared at him, but took the stack and started sorting through it as he'd been asked. He started from the bottom and grouped the mail into two piles so that the most difficult would still be in the back when he was finished. Some of them he knew the kids shouldn't do, either because the person requesting the job never paid well or because the pay wasn't worth the job. He put anything that had to do with cleaning bathrooms or bathroom maintenance in the _no_ pile and he stuck his tongue out at the one asking them to manage portable toilet units.

“Throw these out,” Gintoki slid the _no_ stack away from them, “but the rest are good.”

“Should we try doing some today?”

No.

“If you want to.”

Kagura played with some of Gintoki's fallen feathers. “I don't wanna.”

Good girl.

Shinpachi smiled. “Agreed, we'll start tomorrow.”

“Are you staying the night?” Hijikata asked without pausing his paperwork.

He got three voices saying yes at the same time in answer.

**To Be Continued**

 


	18. There Are Many Misconceptions About These Titles But Maybe You Should Pay Attention to Them Anyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are hints to what Gintoki's problem is if you squint //rolls away

Hijikata was both tired and irritated, how could he not be after spending yet another night with that hellish trio? This time, at the very least, he'd had Mayo Warrior Two on his side, but that didn't count for much when he was so outnumbered – Kagura was more than one in his mind, she counted for at least three. He'd survived, though, so he shouldn't be complaining too much. Gintoki and the kids had behaved for the most part and nothing had gotten destroyed, to his knowledge. Hijikata had kept to himself as much as he could and he'd moved his futon to the opposite side of the room to give them space. He'd been tempted to have them set their shit up in a conference room or something, but as it had gotten later in the evening, he'd let the idea slide.

It was early afternoon, Gintoki's kids had been gone for about an hour, and Gintoki had disappeared somewhere. Hijikata hadn't seen him go, he'd left to get some missing papers he needed and when he'd returned, Gintoki had vanished. The room was mostly clean and the kids had gone to get started on some of the jobs they'd decided on the night before, but they hadn't wanted to leave. No one had said as much, but that was the feeling Hijikata had gotten and the three of them had lingered longer than necessary after breakfast.

A breakfast that Hijikata hadn't seen Gintoki eat.

It had taken a long time to get Gintoki to wake up and get moving, then, by the time he was conscious, Kagura had devoured almost everything that had been brought for them. Sadaharu had gotten some scraps thrown his way and Shinpachi had managed to grab a few bites, but Gintoki hadn't shown enough interest to wake up in time to eat anything. This had only been a secondhand observation since Hijikata had been distracted trying to keep his own food safe from grabby Yato fingers.

Hijikata had spent his morning reworking a new schedule based on all the arrangements he and Kondo had discussed and sometime in there, lunch had been brought to him. He'd made a lot of headway since he'd been given back so many of his responsibilities and despite still being boggled down with uncooperative wings, the feeling of usefulness hadn't left him. He did feel like he was making a difference and that boosted his own morale all on its own. It was sticking with him, too, it wasn't something that hit him and then rubbed off soon after.

He had a lot to be excited about at the moment, too, because they were planning a raid.

It was only a small one, but with the information they'd gathered from their undercover agent, they had enough to go off of to warrant a raid on one of the stow houses. It was rumored that an attack was being planned by this organization, but their intel couldn't prove anything, so they were making the first move. Hijikata was designing the best plan he could come up with, he wanted to present Kondo with something really impressive later, something so well done that it would further make up for him being an inconvenience.

Hijikata nibbled on his food as he worked and chipped away at it until most of it was gone. He had a healthy appetite, but he just couldn't be bothered to stop his work solely to eat, so he was multitasking. The biggest problem he was running into was that he was writing so much that his hand was cramping, so his handwriting wasn't as neat as it was when he'd started. He didn't mind that since his writing was still legible and he was enjoying himself too much to be annoyed over it.

Truth was, while the best part of a raid was obviously being in it, the second best thing was planning it out. There were just so many variables that went into it and so many things that needed to be accounted for, he liked being the one to hash it all out on paper. He liked brainstorming with Kondo over it and bouncing ideas off each other to come up with the best plan of action. He also liked having different plans in case their main one didn't go as it was supposed to and Hijikata always had at least three backups just in case.

Yamazaki knocked on the door and Hijikata waved him in. “What've you got?”

“I brought this for you like you asked.”

“That's his plate?” Hijikata asked and eyed what Yamazaki held between both hands.

“Yeah, I think he's picky.”

Hijikata had never known Gintoki to be picky... but then, it could be that he just really hadn't known it and hadn't been paying any attention to it.

Though, he did know that Gintoki liked onigiri with strawberries in it, so that was something.

“Get him some different foods,” Hijikata said and sighed.

Leave it to Gintoki not to say anything... wouldn't that be something the bastard would make a point to complain about? Gintoki rarely missed an opportunity to be an irritant and pointing out how much the food sucked was an easy thing for him to target. So, why hadn't he?

“Should I ask him what he'd prefer?”

“No, just try an assortment of things and see if he eats them. I'll give you some suggestions... later.”

“Okay, do you want any changes for you?”

“No, just more mayo. I'm tired of having to dip into my reserves.” That gave him an idea and he added, “Make a pudding cup one of the substitutions for him.”

He knew at least one thing beyond plain sugar that Gintoki would eat.

“Should I infuse it with something? There aren't, uh... _any_ puddings out there that contain nutritional value to our standards and since that's the only thing he'll be likely to eat, we might want to take advantage of that.”

“No. He's such a freak he'd probably be able to tell and then have it go to waste like the rest of it.”

“Can do, then. Anything else?”

“That'll be all. Just don't bring dinner until he's in here and put some of the things he didn't touch on my plate, I'm still a little hungry.”

“Got it!”

“Dismissed.”

Yamazaki closed the door softly behind himself and Hijikata started picking at more food as he worked.

-o-O-o-

Gintoki was leaned back against a wall with his arms crossed and he was waiting. It was only after Yamazaki had left that Gintoki couldn't stand it anymore and he decided that there was something he needed to do. He waited until he heard footsteps and when they were in just the right spot, he pushed his left wing out until it touched the wall on the opposite side of the hall. Yamazaki ran into it with an _ooph_ and Gintoki pulled his wing back in so he could turn the corner – he hadn't meant to knock him off his feet!

“Sorry!” Yamazaki said hastily and almost reached out to touch Gintoki's wing. “Are you okay? I didn't mean to run into you!”

Was this guy for real?

“I'm fine. Listen, there's something you've gotta do for me.”

“What's that, danna?”

“I'd like to go back to my apartment for a bit.”

“Is something wrong?”

“I'd just like to go there for awhile.”

Yamazaki pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and glanced it over. “There will be a car available in half an hour, would that work?”

“That's fine.”

“Can I ask why me? Why not the Captain?”

“He's not here, I looked.”

“I don't suppose this is something you're wanting to keep from the Vice-Commander, is it?”

Gintoki grimaced. “Would that be asking too much?”

“Hm... well, if he doesn't ask specifically, then I guess I'm not really keeping anything from him.”

“Good, so meet out by the cars in thirty?”

“Yeah, I'll be there.”

Gintoki patted Yamazaki's shoulder as he walked by and he was very careful not to accidentally push him over with his wing. He didn't want to loiter out by the cars already, so he returned to the conference room or whatever it was he'd been set up in. He turned the TV on and flipped around for awhile to distract himself until he found some kind of game show to stare at. It wasn't very exciting, he'd have rather been trying his hand at Pachinko, but this was as good as it was going to get.

Once the show ended, he shut down the TV and covertly made his way out to where they kept the cars. He didn't run into anyone on his way and since it was so quiet, he figured everyone was out doing their job. Gintoki pushed himself into the car Yamazaki was standing beside and he had to fight with his wings a bit to get them to accommodate him. He had to really push the tops against the hood of the car and he even leaned forward with his forearms on his thighs until he got himself adjusted. Yamazaki got in and the moment he started the car, he got the air conditioning going full blast since it was still hot as fuck outside. Gintoki mostly ignored it, he didn't have much of a choice considering how muggy it always was at the barracks, but it was nice to have a reprieve in this enclosed space.

“Here's a blanket for your wings.”

Gintoki reached forward and took it between the seats. “Thanks, I'd forgotten.”

“I figured,” Yamazaki replied and started driving.

“Say, was that a schedule you pulled out of your pocket earlier?”

“It was, yeah.”

“Any chance I could get one?”

“Of course, there's some extra copies floating around.” Gintoki twiddled with the edges of the blanket situated in his lap. “I wouldn't be a very good subordinate if I didn't ask what you wanted one for.”

“Nothing really.” And that was the truth of it. “Mostly so I don't wander around looking for someone that's not even there.”

“Ah, I see. You can take mine, in that case. I can get another one really easily.”

Gintoki took the paper as it was offered back to him and when he opened it, he raised a brow. Everything was listed in vertical rows and names were written along horizontal columns. There were numbers and tiny symbols littering the page and he didn't see anything to translate the markings for him. Other than those, it was pretty straightforward and he could piece it together well enough. While he studied it, Yamazaki pulled up to the apartment and he quickly stuffed it into his yukata.

“I'll be back in an hour.”

“I'll be here.”

Getting out was a lot harder than cramming himself inside and maneuvering his wings back in time to get more of the blanket around himself was painful. He was determined, though, and rammed his wings down hard against the seat, then used the blanket to force them in tight against him. Once he was set, he pushed himself through the door and kicked it shut before quickly scurrying into the snack shop so he was out of sight. To anyone on the crowded street, he probably just looked like a lumpy idiot that was trying to avoid a sunburn.

“Customer!” Gintoki called to the empty room and flung the blanket off himself. “What kind of shitty service is this?” He took a seat at the bar and grinned at Otose when she walked in, then pounded a fist against the bar top. “Get a drink for the handsome gentleman!”

“I should have your ugly mug thrown out of here.”

“And lose good business?”

“Good business can pay for what they drink.”

“I pay my share!”

Otose's eyes narrowed and she moved farther into the room. “Delusional money doesn't count.”

“C'mon, old hag, you know I pay with good conversation. You can't really put a price tag on excellent company.”

She snorted and came around behind him, but kept some distance between them. Gintoki craned his head to look back over his shoulder and had to lower his wing so he could see her.

“Stand up.” He stood and stepped back away from the chair, but didn't turn to face her. “Open them up, I want to see how big they are.”

“I've never had a complaint about my size before.”

He didn't even hear her move, but suddenly, she was close enough to smack the back of his head in reprimand. He yelped and stretched his wings out as far as they'd go for him. It was easy to do and pulled at some muscles that had been stiff for awhile, but it also made his back ache some. The longer he had these wings, the more his back seemed to ache from the weight of them, which made sense, but was no less inconvenient.

“You're dropping feathers on my floor.”

“Not intentionally,” he replied. “Don't let Tama burn them, they reek when they catch fire.”

Fingers touched Gintoki's right wing and he held still for her, but looked over his shoulder again. She was openly inspecting him, but there wasn't anything critical in her gaze, only interest and a touch of worry. Turning back to the front, he pulled his left wing in under her goading hand and allowed her to move it whichever way she wanted. More feathers fell out and silently hit the floor, but she merely shooed them with her foot. The last thing she did was pull at his shirt by his neck to inspect where the burn mark had been and only when she was satisfied did she walk around to the other side of the bar.

“What? No thoughts to share?”

“None that you can't guess on your own.”

Gintoki reclaimed his seat and smirked. “Oh, c'mon, lemme hear you say you think I'm pretty.”

She gave him a very dry look, one that put even her driest proofs to shame, and his wings bobbed in his amusement. She poured him a drink and nudged it toward him, but didn't put the bottle down until he'd taken a sip. He took a deep breath and the smell of the snack shop filled him, putting him at ease. He'd spent hours and hours in this very room and the familiarity of it offered a security he never really appreciated until the times he craved it.

“How are things over there?”

Gintoki slumped until his head was on the counter. “Fine.”

“Are they not treating you well?”

“It's not that. They're... tolerant enough, I guess.”

She nodded. “What brings you here, then?”

“Dunno, just wanted to check in and have a drink.”

“I'm getting all kinds of visitors today.”

“Eh?”

“Kagura and Shinpachi stopped by this morning. They told me all about their time with you before they left for some jobs.”

Gintoki poked at his glass. “That so? Oi, wait, where is everyone?”

“They're around. Unlike you, they actually work and earn their keep, I never have to get after them to be productive.”

“But getting after me gives you something to do,” Gintoki lifted his head, “I wouldn't want you to be bored.”

Otose sighed and poured herself a drink. “I'm sure I've heard that excuse before.”

“I'm full of those.”

“Always have been,” she replied drily and held her glass out to him. He clinked his against hers and smiled to himself as he took a sip while something in his chest unraveled. “I didn't know you could come over like this.”

“I sorta didn't either, I just got something to work out for today. I can only stay about an hour, but it's better than nothing.”

They enjoyed a moment of comfortable silence and Gintoki shifted his wings out to a more relaxed position. His back was aching from the weight of them without resting them on anything for support, but he was getting so used to it that it didn't bother him too much. He found his gaze on Otose's right wrist and he could see a lightly blue vein where her skin had become more transparent with age and he clutched the glass tighter in his hand.

“Tell me about Hijikata-san.”

“Eh? Why?”

“You're not allowed to question me.”

He scowled at her and took another swig. “There's nothing to tell.”

“You don't spend time together?”

“Are you kidding? He doesn't ever want me around and I... don't ever really wanna be around him, either. He's a workaholic ass that I have to share a space with and the few things we actually have to do together are torture because neither of us wanna be there to begin with.”

“Sounds like you have a problem.”

Gintoki spread his wings out wide. “Yeah, they're huge, white, and obvious.”

“Those aren't what I was referring to.”

“I don't understand.”

Otose narrowed her eyes at him and the look was one of calculation – he'd learned to be apprehensive of such a look after years of experience. “Don't you trust him?”

“Who? Oogushi-kun?” She nodded and took a drink, her expression never changing. “I... guess? I dunno, we've fought together a few times, so I trust him not to, like, stab me or something.”

“You two got along really well when the Shinsengumi came over here.”

“I wouldn't say really well.”

“Then what would you say?”

“I don – it's,” Gintoki grunted as he thought and ran a hand through his hair, “you saw him! Or... maybe you didn't see him, actually, never mind. The thing is! What I'm trying to say is that he was really, mm, upset? We were both having a hard time in the beginning at the barracks, he even did shit like burn my feathers and –”

“He did what?” Otose interjected and Gintoki flinched.

“He didn't burn them while they were still on me! He'd picked up some of the ones that had fallen out and burned them up.” Gintoki waved a hand and took a huge gulp of his drink. “It doesn't matter. I was being a dick and he was being an ass, end of story.”

“Does he still burn them?”

“No, he hasn't done that since then. The feathers smell _really_ bad when you burn them and the stink sticks around for a long time afterward. Anyway, by the time we came to the apartment, he wasn't doing so good.” He tapped his fingers against his glass and frowned. “He was unhappy and, like I said, upset, he just wasn't himself.”

“So you invited the Shinsengumi over.”

“Yeah, but not right away, I didn't wanna be obvious about it.” Hijikata forgetting his phone in Gintoki's bedroom had sort of been the deciding factor on when Gintoki invited them over. “Why're we talking about him?”

“Because I think you'll have an easier time with all this if you were more comfortable with him.”

“Well, that's not gonna happen. How 'bout you top off my drink and we find something better to talk about?”

“Shitty brat,” Otose muttered and, after a brief hesitation, she refilled his cup.

He tipped his head to her in thanks and settled in to just enjoy her company without anymore probing questions.

**To Be Continued**

 


	19. Sometimes, the Best Plans Happen on the Fly and You've Just Gotta Wing it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please appreciate my title ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

**Art By:[k1216](http://k1216.tumblr.com/)**

Hijikata was still hard at work in much the same way he'd been earlier, except he'd recently relocated. He and Kondo were set up in a conference room and they'd been hashing things out for maybe a few hours. They'd made a lot of progress and they'd worked out several solid courses of actions for the raid. It felt good, it felt like a productive use of time, and now there was only one last thing he needed to take up with Kondo, one thing that had been burning at the back of his mind all day.

“Kondo-san?”

“Yes?”

“I wanna go.”

“Do you think that's a good idea?”

Hijikata's fingers curled to press into his palms. “I can stay in the car out of sight, I'd just like to be there.”

“We can try working something out, maybe set up one of the cars differently. I don't know if the front seat will come out or not, wouldn't that give you more room?”

“I hadn't ever thought of that,” Hijikata replied and... he was actually brought up somewhat short. It was a great idea and he couldn't believe, given the amount of times he'd been in a car since getting his wings, that nothing along those lines had ever occurred to him. “It'd work better if the seat itself was still there, but the back of the seat was taken off.”

“So your wings could fit in the back, but you'd be in the front?”

“Yeah, and if they ever acted on their own, they'd be held back and wouldn't obstruct the driver.”

“You'll still need your seatbelt.”

Hijikata tipped his head back as he thought. “Could we put it on the side of the seat?”

“So it goes over your lap?”

“Or around my waist depending on how we place it.”

“I like it, I think we can construct something like that!”

“If it works, you really wouldn't mind me going along?”

“Why would I? Most of this is your plan and it'll be good to have you on sight to direct if you need to. I told you, now that we know your health is fine and the wings don't put you in immediate danger, there's no reason you can't be more active with your job.”

“I just don't wanna slow anyone down.”

“How can you when you'll be in the car?” Kondo gave a small understanding smile and Hijikata relaxed. “You're good at making snap decisions and not being directly in the action will give you a better perspective on what's going on. You'll be able to think things through since you won't be distracted by your surroundings.”

Even after knowing each other for so long, Hijikata still got flustered when Kondo talked to him like that. He nodded and lowered his head, unable to think of anything to say in return. Any kind of compliment from Kondo, any time he put faith in Hijikata over something, it always got to him in the best kind of way. He took so much pride in being Kondo's go to person and to still have that even after the lull of being inactive really meant so much to him.

“I'd planned on taking Sougo, too,” Kondo added.

“You sure that's a good idea?”

“He needs to be in on this one, it's good experience for him.”

“It wouldn't hurt to give him experience on staying behind, either. He's already experienced in skipping out on work, why should he be rewarded for his bad habits?”

“Tosshi...” Kondo warned with a look verging on austere.

“All I'm saying is that for this kind of raid, it wouldn't be a terrible decision to leave someone behind.”

“I'll stay here,” Gintoki offered, unprovoked.

“You weren't invited anyway.” Hijikata paused and glanced at the open door where Gintoki was standing. “What're you even doing in here?”

And when had he arrived?

“I didn't know where everyone was, so I just followed the voices.”

“Stop wandering around!”

“I have nothing else to do!”

“Stay in one spot for hours and read a Jump or something, you're at least good at _that_!”

“I can only read the same ones so many times in a row!”

“So learn to read different things!”

“At least I read something other than paperwork!”

“I can –”

“You can both read!” Kondo interjected loudly. “It's great you're both able to read, that's very important!” He started gathering up some papers and Hijikata's wings fluffed up with nervous tension. “I'm fine with Gin-san being the one to stay behind!”

“And watch over the barracks while we're away?” Hijikata asked incredulously.

“I don't see why not, he's perfectly capable and if things go well, we won't be gone long.”

Hijikata felt like his eyes were about to bulge out of his head and his wings were coiled so tight that the ends were pressed hard into the floor since they were so close to his body. He'd just recently spoken to Kondo about not letting Gintoki wander around and now the moron was going to be left at the barracks without _any_ supervision? There were so many things that flashed before Hijikata's eyes and all he could envision was something going horribly wrong. Gintoki at the barracks without supervision... that felt like it was a recipe for disaster and it had Hijikata's stomach sinking into the floor.

“I don't think that's a good idea....”

“I don't mind,” Gintoki said and leaned against the doorframe with his wing stretching out to press against the opposite side of the frame.

“It'll be fine!” Kondo assured. “We'll leave a couple subordinates behind, what's the worst that could happen?”

_Too many things_ , Hijikata wanted to say and the look on his face probably embodied those very words.

“It'll be fine,” Gintoki echoed and yawned without covering his mouth. “Not really sure what just happened, but I'm gonna go watch TV.”

He pushed off the doorframe and as he walked away, Hijikata saw some feathers fall and join more that were on the floor already. There wasn't a mound of them, but there was close to ten and when he looked down at himself, there were only about six black feathers that had fallen. So, in the short span of time Gintoki had stood in the doorway, he'd lost almost double the amount of feathers Hijikata had lost in however many hours he'd been working with Kondo. Curious, Hijikata glanced at his phone to see the time and his mouth dropped open.

Scrambling to his feet, Hijikata slammed into the doorframe and called down to Gintoki before he got too far away, “It's almost shower time!”

“I can go a day without one,” Gintoki said and didn't look back as he turned the corner to disappear out of sight.

Hijikata wanted to bang his head against the stupid doorframe. How the fuck was it possible that whenever Hijikata wanted to get rid of Gintoki, he couldn't seem to do it, but whenever he wanted Gintoki nearby, he couldn't get a handle on him? Huffing, he returned to his spot at the table and began collecting his own paperwork since Kondo already had his.

“Hard to believe it's already this late,” Hijikata said.

“You've been working a long time.”

“So have you.”

“True, but I haven't been working on the same thing the whole time.”

“I've switched it up with some reports.”

Kondo stood and stretched. “You'll get more variety soon.”

“I really don't like the idea of leaving him here alone.”

“I don't see what the problem is, he's not out to get us.”

“No, but he could get into things he's not supposed to.”

“That's why we leave some people behind,” Kondo said. “There's only two main places he shouldn't go and if we put someone in each place to guard them, I doubt there will be a problem. Besides, I feel like if we asked him not to go to them, then he wouldn't.”

“You put too much faith in him.”

“And you don't put faith enough.”

“He hasn't given me any reason to.” Kondo shot him a look and Hijikata ducked his head as his eyes averted. The look was so strong that Hijikata felt compelled to add, “Not _recently_.”

“Remember that,” Kondo advised and grabbed his papers. “I'll see you tomorrow morning dressed and ready.”

Hijikata nodded and slowed his movements as he started to think. The idea had been to see if Gintoki had visibly lost weight while they were changing for their showers, but he couldn't do that until tomorrow now. The next step had been to watch how much Gintoki ate when Yamazaki brought them food, but how could he do that when it didn't even seem like they'd be eating together this evening? It'd be so awkward if he went in with Gintoki and randomly ate with him without any provocation, it wouldn't make sense if he did that. Picking up his phone, he dialed Yamazaki's number and waited for him to answer.

“ _Yes, Fukuchou_?”

“The moron is in watching TV, take him his dinner like you usually do, but stop by my room afterward when he's done.”

“ _...okay? Is something going on that I should know about?_ ”

“No. I don't know. Just do as I say for now. You can take my dinner into my room, I'll be there soon.”

“ _Isn't it your time in the bathroom?_ ”

“Yeah, but we're not going today.”

“ _Did you two have a fight?_ ”

“No.”

Actually, had they? Was _he_ the reason Gintoki didn't want to do their usual routine? For as long as he'd been there, Gintoki had gone along with the routine Hijikata had set and this was the first time he was ducking out of it. Did he know something was wrong and was trying to hide or was he really just not in the mood? They'd had the tiny spat right when Gintoki arrived, but usually, neither of them were deterred by such things.

“ _This long pause is telling me otherwise, Fukuchou._ ”

“I said no! We didn't have a fight, just take care of dinner! It better be in my room by the time I get there or it's seppuku for you!”

He didn't wait for a reply and shut his phone with a hard snap of the heel of his palm. He gathered his things together and searched himself for a cigarette. He couldn't find any, which pissed him off, and if there weren't any left in his room he was going to throw something. With all his files and plans in the right order, he held them to himself and made for his room. Hijikata was careful to keep one of his arms free in case he needed to brace himself against the wall if he lost his balance. He was getting rather good at walking, if only because he could correct himself as he went and his ability to predict when he was going to lose balance was pretty on point.

When he got to his room, he found his food waiting for him on his desk as he smothered all that in mayonnaise after he set his files down. He shoved some of it in his mouth, all the strategizing had given him a huge appetite that he couldn't fight back any longer now that food was right in front of him. As he ate, he went over to his closet and pulled out one vest and one undershirt. With his sword, he carefully cut the slits he needed the backs of them, but he didn't want to do that to his jacket. They weren't doing their raid tomorrow, but they'd be going over their plans and doing live action simulations for different scenarios that might happen.

Hijikata had only just finished slicing into his vest – he'd taken a cigarette break between the two articles of clothing – when someone knocked on his door.

“Enter.”

“He didn't want dinner,” Yamazaki said as he opened the door.

“Didn't want it?”

He presented the tray filled with untouched food. “I offered it to him, but he waved me off.”

Hijikata sheathed his sword and sat back, asking, “You showed him the pudding cup?”

“He never looked over, so I told him about it by naming a few things and he had no interest so far as I could tell.”

“Has he eaten at all today that you know of?”

“He might've when... ah! No, not that I know of!”

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

Hijikata felt his brow tick. “He might've when, what were you gonna say?”

“Nothing! I was just...” Hijikata tightened his grip on his sword and brought it into his lap, “I misspoke!”

“What aren't you telling me?” Yamazaki backed up toward the door and Hijikata spread his wings out. “Don't you dare try to lie.”

“It was just a favor!”

“What was?”

“I-It's not anything big!”

Hijikata stood up with his sword in his hand. “If it's nothin' big then you should be able to tell me.”

“I would!” Yamazaki was visibly sweating. “I just told him I wouldn't!”

“Speak!”

“I took him to the Snack Shop! It was only for an hour and it didn't interfere with work! He just wanted to go and I didn't see a reason to say no to him!”

Hijikata blinked rapidly and lowered his sword, that wasn't at all what he'd been expecting. “Why'd he wanna go there?”

“I don't know... but what I was going to say was that maybe he ate while he was there. I know he had something to drink, he told me that when we were talking on our way back, but he never mentioned any food. What's going on?”

“I'll let you know if you need to know.”

Yamazaki walked over and set the second tray down next to Hijikata's first tray. “That's up to you, but considering how you want me to do special things for you regarding him and he wants me to do special things for him without telling you, I'm really starting to think I should be a little more clued in with whatever's going on.”

“Just like before, do as you're told for now.”

“Just like before, I think this is weird.” Yamazaki crossed his arms. “How do you want me to handle breakfast?”

“Same as usual.”

“Pudding cup for breakfast?”

“Yeah, that and the strawberry thing he likes.”

“The... milk or the parfait?”

“Milk,” Hijikata affirmed with a stern look, “don't ever give him a parfait for breakfast.”

“Understood!”

“That's all for tonight.”

Yamazaki lowered his head briefly, then left Hijikata alone with two trays of food – both of which he ate. He left the pudding cup, that wasn't his kind of food, but everything else was good, nutrient rich, and he was hungry enough for it all. Where Gintoki wasn't eating, Hijikata seemed to be eating enough for the both of them. He finished up for the night and went to the bathroom, but when it was time for him to turn out the lights, Gintoki hadn't come in yet. He waited up for a bit and considered going to get him, but in the end, he sprawled out on his back – after a few more cigarettes – and went to sleep.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata woke to his alarm instead of waking up before it and right away, he knew Gintoki wasn't there. Having a wing over himself was a really fucked up thing to have gotten used to, but after having it there for so many nights, its absence was noted. He looked over to Gintoki's futon and saw that the covers hadn't been disturbed at all. Gintoki wasn't the type to make his bed, so it was an easy assumption that he hadn't come in the night before.

That was troubling.

Hijikata got up and instead of going out to find Gintoki first thing, he took the time to change. He put on his uniform pants and it took him awhile, but he managed to get on his shirt and vest. Both of them felt a little tight because of how his wings fit through them, but it felt good to be wearing part of his uniform again. His wings cooperated throughout the ordeal and once he was set, he grabbed one of Gintoki's yukata as well as some of his toiletries. His idea was to get Gintoki up and maybe get him to change where Hijikata could offer to help him. That way, he could inconspicuously check if Gintoki looked any different or had any visible signs of distress aside from a lot of lost feathers.

He wrapped Gintoki's toiletries up in his yukata and tucked that under his arm to once more keep one arm free. He'd purposefully set his alarm to wake him up a bit earlier than usual so they could get to the bathroom before the rest of his faction and he had every intention to make that happen. He didn't necessarily want to deal with an extra grumpy Gintoki because of it, but he'd rather deal with the whole issue sooner instead of later – he already felt like he'd postponed it long enough.

As he walked, he once again thought back to why Gintoki had wanted to go to the Snack Shop the day before. It wasn't a huge deal that he'd done that, but it did make Hijikata wonder why Gintoki had wanted to keep it a secret. Why hadn't he gone to Hijikata directly instead of sneaking around trying to get one of his subordinates to do his bidding? He felt he should be angry at Yamazaki for keeping a secret from him and not reporting Gintoki's movements, but if he was going to punish him, he should have done it immediately.

Reaching the room Gintoki had been set up in, Hijikata slowly opened the door and peeked his head inside. Gintoki was strewn out on his back and his right arm was resting along his wing with the remote held loosely in his limp fingers. There weren't any blankets and the one pillow in the room was near the TV like Gintoki had thrown it and not bothered to get up to bring it back. He was unguarded as he slept, but his clothing was too rumpled for Hijikata to really tell what he looked like underneath them. He scratched at his neck, then carefully made his way over to tap Gintoki's hip with his foot.

“Oi! You've gotta get up!”

Gintoki's brows drew downward and he lifted his head, but then it just thunked back down. He groaned and shooed Hijikata's foot like that was the cause of the pain.

“Sleepin'.”

“Not anymore. You can't stay in here all day.”

That wasn't exactly true, he _could_ since no one was using it, but Hijikata had a hidden agenda that he was going to stick to no matter what. He told Gintoki to get up again, then dropped the yukata onto him and walked over to turn the TV off. The remote clattered against the flooring as Gintoki started moving and there were quite a few feathers clustered around his body after he sat up. He rubbed his face with a hand and curled his arm around his yukata, but his toothbrush ended up falling out. He stared at it, clearly surprised to see it, and opened his yukata to see what else was in there.

“Get up,” Hijikata urged.

“You're so annoyin', bastard,” Gintoki grumbled and he kept rubbing his eyes or blinking to wake himself up more.

He lumbered to his feet and together, they silently headed for the bathroom. Gintoki's hair was a frizzy mess and he kept yawning the entire time, Hijikata was curious as to how late he'd actually stayed up. When they got to the restroom, Hijikata went to the sink like he was minding his own business, but he kept tabs on everything Gintoki did. Much to his own surprise, there wasn't any build up or procrastination, Gintoki just started pulling at his clothes. He shed them after a lot of awkward fumbling and he almost got stuck more than once, to the point that Hijikata almost went over to help him, but he managed to wriggle out of them.

Hijikata had turned on the water to wash his face and Gintoki was completely out of it when he stumbled up to a sink near him. They'd never brushed their teeth together like this and with Gintoki only in his boxers, it was easy for Hijikata to look. His stomach was flatter, his hipbones were sharper, and his boxers were riding low. They weren't close to falling off, but they were visibly looser in a way that said they'd been bought when they fit and no longer did.

“Son hovva betch,” Hijikata cussed around his toothbrush as his left wing opened up backward behind him.

He'd been so distracted by Gintoki that he hadn't expected the jerk and he slammed his free hand down on the counter to give himself something sturdy to hold onto. Gintoki watched him in the mirror with dead fish eyes and offered nothing more than an ass scratch in response. There were so many bubbles around his mouth that he looked rabid and Hijikata could just picture him slathering the toothbrush with too much paste.

Hijikata glared at him and finished brushing his teeth as he ran some options over in his head. Gintoki wasn't trying to hide himself, so he either didn't know there was any kind of problem or he knew and just didn't care enough to bother hiding it. There was also a third option in that maybe Gintoki was too tired to think twice about it. Whatever the case, something needed to be done because things couldn't continue as they were.

“Things are gonna go a bit differently later,” Hijikata said matter-of-factly.

Gintoki spat in the sink and raised a brow. “Eh?”

“Starting today, we preen.”

“Do we... have to?”

“Yes. Now, hurry up, I've got work to do and you've gotta help fixing up one of the cars.”

“I've gotta what?” Gintoki squinted and scratched his scalp roughly. “Is this some kinda weird dream?”

“'Fraid not! Get dressed already, move it!”

“Stop bossin' me, I'm not one of your shitty subordinates!”

“Of course you're not, we'd have been disbanded a long time ago if that were the case!”

Gintoki went for his yukata and snapped a comment back at him until they were in a heated discussion. Hijikata helped get Gintoki's right wing through the yukata as they yapped and a plan he was making up on the spot was steadily falling into place.

If Gintoki didn't have an appetite, then Hijikata would give him things to do until he worked one up. If that didn't work, then he'd adjust and keep trying until he figured out something that did.

**To Be Continued**

 


	20. How Much Wood Could a Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preening ╰(✧∇✧╰)

Hijikata was having such a busy morning and it felt like he'd been to every corner of the barracks. Every time he got settled in one place, he was dragged away and needed to go someplace else for an assortment of reasons. The heat wave still had a firm grip on Edo and Hijikata found himself drinking water almost constantly to compensate for all the sweat that was rolling off his forehead. He didn't care at all, he was happy to do everything that was being pushed onto his plate, and that just made the morning disappear.

He was currently doing a quick patrol around the barracks to make sure everything was on track. So far, everyone was carrying out his orders as they should be and that added to his good feelings. His wings weren't giving him too many problems, he was pleased to say, and that only bolstered him. So much so that even when his wings did do something stupid and uncooperative, it didn't have any direct link to his mood. He'd just cuss, correct himself, and move on without a single blow to his pride.

He'd checked in everywhere so far and even managed to eat a little something on his route. He was eating his meals normally, but he found himself snacking and piecing on things much more than he ever had in the past. The doctor had said he should eat more, so he wasn't concerned with his increased appetite, it was just an interesting side effect. He wasn't used to it quite yet, but he wasn't going to deny his rumbling stomach things that would help shut it up so he could work in peace. If anyone thought he was weird or thought it was strange that he was requesting more food than usual, then they weren't saying anything and he couldn't think of a reason why they'd care, anyway.

The last place he had left to check was outside in the back and he'd saved it for his final stop on purpose. He didn't know how it was going to go or what he was going to find and there was some anxiety nibbling away at his insides over it. He didn't want to overthink the whole thing and he was too seasoned as the Vice-Commander to dare hope for something that was unlikely at best. Taking a deep, steeling breath, he finished his trek to the back and stepped outside into the blazing sunlight.

“How are things out here?” He glanced quickly around and nervousness automatically prickled at the back of his neck. “Nothing's on fire, so that's good.”

“I think we've got it figured out,” Oka said obediently and proudly opened the passenger door.

Gintoki was perched on top of the car beneath the canopy they'd put up and Sougo was sitting next to him in the curve of his right wing. Sougo didn't have his jacket on anymore and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, but his cheeks weren't red from the heat, he actually looked rather comfortable. Hijikata walked up and stepped around the various pieces of equipment, white feathers, and what he could only assume were chair parts to get a better look.

“That... actually doesn't look terrible,” Hijikata said and he was honestly surprised.

The seat wasn't cut in half, instead, the top was taken off and the rest had been trimmed at an angle. The back of the seat was normal at the bottom, but got gradually skinnier as it went up and the top of it stopped right around the middle of the back, which would be at the base of his wings. It wasn't the best sewing Hijikata had ever seen, but the stitches would hold and the extra space allowed plenty of room for his wings to fit into the back. The seatbelt had been relocated and was fashioned to the base of the seat at just the right spot where it'd fit around his waist instead of his legs or stomach.

“Did you think we wouldn't be able to do it?” Sougo asked.

Gintoki snorted. “That's probably exactly it.”

“That's not it at all,” Hijikata snapped and his wings pulled in close. “I just didn't think you'd be done already.”

“Mostly done,” Oka corrected, “we're just waiting for some adhesive to dry before we get back to it.”

“We're gonna make sure it's actually dry this time,” Gintoki grumbled and that was when Hijikata noticed the bandaids on his fingers.

“What'd you do?”

“Eh?” Hijikata held up his right hand and pointed to his fingers with his left one. “Oh, those. We're not very good at sewing, as it turns out.”

Sougo gave a peace sign to show off a couple bandaids and Oka waggled his left hand fingers where he also had two bandaids.

“You, I get,” Hijikata said, pointing to Gintoki, “but you two had needlework as part of your training, what gives?”

“It's hard to grip a tiny needle when you're sweaty,” Oka replied sheepishly.

“You're losing a lot of fluids out here, are you all staying hydrated? Have you had anything to eat?”

“We're doing just fine,” Sougo replied and Gintoki yawned.

Gintoki was leaned back on his hands and his eyes were half-mast, he looked ready for a nap. Sougo was much the same and they all had really tousled hair from the humidity. Gintoki's perm was particularly haphazard and having just been out there for a little bit, Hijikata could feel sweat collecting more thickly on the back of his neck and forehead. The rest of them had been out for hours and the fatigue was showing, but Hijikata wasn't going to say that.

“What adhesive are you waiting to dry?”

“We had to take the seat apart to get this to work,” Oka explained. “We found that it's less stable if certain parts of it are still able to move, so we've glued those parts to give it a stronger base. Most everything we were able to secure with screws and bolts and we made sure to place the seat just far enough from the dashboard that if the airbag gets triggered, it won't break your neck when it hits you.”

“Good thinking.” Hijikata was tempted to step closer, but that would put him directly in Sougo's kicking range. Gintoki's legs were over the windshield, which put Sougo over the spot Hijikata would have to be nearer to and he wasn't tired enough to make that kind of mistake so early in the afternoon. “How much longer do you think it'll be until you're done?”

“Depends on how long it takes for the glue to dry,” Oka replied and Sougo whispered something to Gintoki. “In this heat, it's taking awhile. Could we maybe get a fan out here to help it dry faster?”

“Or give us a breeze,” Gintoki added halfheartedly.

“Yeah, I'll look into that,” Hijikata said and looked to Sougo. “I don't remember assigning you to be the third person out here.”

“Too bad this was where I wanted to be.”

“Did you at least switch with Harada or did you just tell him to leave?”

“You're the Vice-Commander, you figure it out.”

“They switched,” Gintoki offered.

Sougo elbowed him, but it wasn't hard and there was a smirk on his face like he knew something Hijikata didn't. That was annoying, but that wasn't anything new when it came to the two of them. If he were honest, he'd say that it made him nervous thinking of the two spending more time together, but there wasn't anything he could do about it and he had no reason to do anything at the moment.

“Right, well, I'll go look into getting you that fan and I'll have lunch sent out for you while I'm at it.”

Gintoki shrugged and absentmindedly studied his boots, he had the kind of look on his face that said he'd be picking his nose or ear any second. Oka nodded, but Sougo was squinting at Hijikata like he had something – likely derogatory – to say.

“It says to be announced on our schedule regarding where our meeting at three is going to take place, have you decided where it'll be held?” Oka asked.

“Not yet, I'll be texting everyone once Kondo has made his decision.” Hijikata's stomach turned over and he shifted his weight as he prepared and pumped himself up for what he wanted to do next. “Natural perm, do you happen to – dammit!”

Hijikata's left wing flew back and it pitched him forward right into the hood of the car, which stopped him with a heavy _thunk_. His foot hit the tire and it made him cuss again, but at the very least he was able to right himself quickly. Sougo was smirking even more and Hijikata prepared for the smart remark he was about to receive, but Gintoki's wing suddenly curled around Sougo completely and smothered him against his side.

“Something you wanted to ask me?” Gintoki asked casually with a slight raise of his brow.

Sougo flailed an arm out of the white mass and some feathers got dislodged, but Gintoki managed to wriggle and keep him subdued.

“Yeah,” Hijikata straightened his uniform and stepped away from the car. “If you don't have plans later, we could use an extra set of hands. I want to get as many people in that meeting as possible and I'd be able to fit more in if I had someone to oversee a couple things while we're preoccupied.”

“I'll think about it.”

Hijikata nodded and began retreating. “Do, I'll check in with you again in a bit.”

He walked away after getting a salute from Oka and heard Sougo gasp for air like Gintoki's wing had been suffocating him. He heard Gintoki laugh and the two of them bickered companionably, but about what, Hijikata couldn't exactly tell. He was finding it difficult to deal with Gintoki and coming up with anything to say was awkward. Hijikata knew he'd be met with immediate resistance if he treated Gintoki like any other subordinate, so that ruled out giving any orders, but Hijikata wasn't used to _asking_ for things from others. He could discuss things with Kondo and ask for approval to follow through with an idea or something, but that was part of the hierarchy.

Gintoki didn't fit into that hierarchy at all.

He was an outlier, something Hijikata couldn't place, and he knew he was fumbling rather obviously through his attempts to be civil. He didn't even feel like he was doing a good job of it and really, he just felt foolish for trying. It was more than likely that Gintoki was gossiping with Sougo about it and they were having a good laugh at his expense, but what could he do?

-o-O-o-

The meeting ran long.

He'd expected it to take awhile, but he couldn't have predicted it'd take almost four hours. He was exhausted by the time it was finally over, but the day wasn't done. He still had to collect Gintoki and take care of that whole thing before he could finish off the last reports he needed to get done for the day. It was tiresome work, but he wasn't complaining, he merely had to get back into the swing of things and it wouldn't feel so draining.

Now, it was just a matter of finding Gintoki.

Hijikata had had some things for Gintoki to do and whether or not Gintoki had done remained to be seen. He wouldn't know if they were done or not until tomorrow and he was certain that if Gintoki _had_ done the tasks Hijikata had asked of him, then it certainly hadn't taken him four hours to do it. The meeting had started out with a lot of people, but then it went to half and soon, half of that. Everyone filtered out when it was time to do their evening patrol or whatever was on their schedule and only Kondo and Hijikata had remained for all four hours of it. The meeting itself had been perfect for ironing out some plans and getting things sorted out, but it'd still run longer than he'd intended.

He didn't know why, but he checked outside first to see if Gintoki was still out with the car they'd reconfigured. The car had been moved back with the others, the makeshift canopy had been taken down, and there wasn't any sign of anyone outside. That made sense, since it was still so hot, but Hijikata wanted to rule out the last place he wanted to go before anywhere else. The next place he went was to the conference room Gintoki had taken to setting himself up in. After finding that space empty, he went to his room and held his breath before opening the door.

It was all in vain, it seemed, because Gintoki wasn't there, either. Hijikata dropped his stuff from the meeting off and grabbed the things he and Gintoki would both need for the bathroom. It felt weird taking Gintoki's things with him, but he didn't want to have to come back and risk Gintoki deciding to skip a shower or something. With all the required things in hand, he left his room behind – much as he didn't want to – and continued his search for Gintoki. Thankfully, he didn't have to look very long and found him just down the hall sprawled out on Sougo's floor.

“What're you doing in here?”

“Why'd you open the door without knocking first? Seems kinda rude.”

Gintoki was situated on his back with a Jump held up above his head, but it was clear he was no longer reading it. Sougo's room was smaller than Hijikata's and so Gintoki didn't fit when his wings were fully stretched out. He wasn't on a blanket and he only had a pillow beneath his head to keep it propped up. He looked dirty from the day, the heat had definitely taken its toll, but he didn't look exhausted as a sick person might.

“I've learned it's best not to knock on Sougo's door, it gives him a chance to escape.”

“Well, you're too late, he already made his getaway.”

“At least everything seems to still be in one piece.”

“Hard to believe when you weren't around to supervise the whole time.”

“Shut up. You ready to go?”

Gintoki tilted his Jump so he could peer over the top. “Go...?”

Hijikata waggled his arm that had all their stuff hanging off it, explaining, “Showers.”

“Ah.” Gintoki lurched upward and dropped the Jump. “Yeah.”

The walk to the bathroom was uneventful and it almost seemed a little too easy, like Gintoki was being too compliant. They didn't speak and for Hijikata, it wasn't a comfortable silence by any means. Judging strictly by Gintoki's outward appearance, there wasn't anything out of the ordinary and Hijikata couldn't even venture a guess as to what he could be thinking about. Gintoki didn't seem upset, bothered, content, or anything in between. If Hijikata had to guess, he could only say Gintoki appeared vaguely bored, but that was it. There was just one slight mishap, but Hijikata was able to catch himself on the wall when he started to tip over. Gintoki didn't comment, he just spread his wings out a little wider as he walked so that each end was brushing either wall.

Hijikata dumped Gintoki's stuff on one of the benches when they got to the showers, then took his own further down like usual. Undressing was a... unique... event, in that Hijikata couldn't get his clothes off his back and Gintoki had to come down and help him. He did so wordlessly and didn't appear to be irritated by it, he just grunted when Hijikata gave a quiet thanks. Gintoki finished undressing after that and Hijikata kicked off his boxers once he'd safely disappeared inside the stall. He turned on the water and for once, didn't make it super hot.

“The car looked good,” Hijikata said as he squirted shampoo into his palm.

“It's comfortable, too.”

“I'll be trying it out soon enough.” He paused to wash the suds through his hair and only glanced at Gintoki once through the water to see if he was watching. Since he could only see Gintoki's back, Hijikata cleared his throat and went for it. “You gonna be up to help out some more tomorrow?”

“That depends, are you going to keep giving me busy work?”

“I'm not giving you busy work....”

“You're giving me work that keeps me busy,” Gintoki retorted. “In normal people terms, we call that busy work.”

“W-well, I don't see you turning it down!”

Gintoki leveled him with a _look_ that Hijikata couldn't read anything from and he quickly looked away. He pulled his wings into the small stall and did his best to get them wet. He shuddered thinking about the mite incident and while he wasn't looking forward to the preening thing, he was at least glad the activity would keep track of any unwanted guests.

“It does help, you know,” Hijikata barreled on and shoved his face under the lukewarm water with the distant thought that maybe drowning would be easier than actually talking to Gintoki. He shook his head when he pulled it back out of the spray and sent his bangs flying. “They would never have gotten the car right if you hadn't been there.”

“What're you doing?” Gintoki asked.

Hijikata looked over at him and found Gintoki with his arms crossed over the top of the stall and his chin resting on them. He was staring at Hijikata like he thought he'd lost his mind and Hijikata couldn't disagree with that assumption.

“Showering.” That was not at all what Gintoki was asking and they both knew it. “Quit staring, you're wasting water.”

Gintoki scoffed and did something with his wings that made the water spray everywhere, but then he turned around and went back to washing. Hijikata was grateful no conversation was attempted after that point and he honestly didn't know why he'd even bothered trying. Obviously Gintoki felt it was weird and unnatural, he wouldn't have said anything about it otherwise. Sighing, Hijikata finished washing and got out of the shower to start the task of wrangling his yukata on after he'd dried and slipped on a new pair of boxers. Gintoki finished shortly after him and he was a lot quicker about the redressing thing than Hijikata was.

“You ready?”

“Do I look ready?” Hijikata retorted, his voice muffled by his clothes.

He could basically feel Gintoki's eye roll before two hands tugged at his clothing and his yukata was pulled down along his wings. Once it was in place, Hijikata was able to tie it off and by then, Gintoki already had his stuff collected. Hijikata took up his own things and with each step they took toward Hijikata's room, dread mounted in his gut. He thought about voicing the preening concept there in the bathroom, but no, he couldn't get the words out. So, all throughout the walk, he got to stare at Gintoki's back and try to figure out the best way to phrase it and get Gintoki to be receptive to it.

They entered the room and, as normally as he could, Hijikata ventured, “Do you remember what I mentioned this morning?”

“Wake up?”

“After that.”

“Mm... no.”

Hijikata couldn't tell if Gintoki was lying or not, so he took a chance and gestured with his hand. “Why don't you just... sit...?”

“Sit?”

“I mentioned this earlier! About the preening!”

“Oh, that.”

“Yes, that.”

Gintoki shifted. “Do we have to?”

“Yeah, unless you're fine with mites getting out of hand again.”

“Fine then, let's get this over with.”

Gintoki took one step forward, then turned and plopped down with his back to Hijikata. That was... easier than he'd thought it'd be, but he wasn't complaining. He dutifully stepped forward and decided to start with Gintoki's right wing. As soon as he touched the ridge of it, though, Gintoki flinched. Neither of them commented on it, Hijikata just experimentally ran his hand along the uppermost ridge of Gintoki's wing. The feathers were soft, but Hijikata could feel the muscle buried underneath as well. He didn't know why that surprised him, but it did all the same.

“Hold still.”

“I am!”

“You are not and you know it!”

Gintoki leaned forward and allowed Hijikata better access to his wings in answer. Hijikata brushed through them and filtered out loose feathers, some falling to the floor and others easily coming out between Hijikata's fingers. He had to get on his knees to get to the lower feathers and that was actually a much better position to do this in.

“Stop flinching.”

“Sorry.”

“I said stop!”

“I can't help it!” His wings went taut. “I keep thinking you're gonna yank them!”

“Well, m'not, so relax.” Gintoki didn't relax, but his wings stopped twitching so much. Some more feathers came out under Hijikata's hands and he held one up to see it better. “Does it hurt?”

Gintoki looked over shoulder. “You mean, does what you're doing hurt?”

“Yeah.”

“No,” Gintoki replied simply and faced forward again. “Just feels weird. You'll see when it's your turn.”

Hijikata dropped the feather and kept going all the way down to the tips on either side. He wasn't a fan of having to do this, but he was going to be thorough about it and he hoped that Gintoki would extend him the same courtesy. He could easily picture the bastard just lightly skimming and doing a half-assed job of it. He did notice that Gintoki didn't relax once throughout the duration, but Hijikata couldn't blame him. A lot of feathers did come out as Hijikata worked, but he couldn't say how many were normal and how many were excessive. He'd have to compare it to how many he lost himself when Gintoki looked him over.

Hijikata hadn't really noticed _any_ weight loss and when they'd taken showers Gintoki had mostly kept to himself. He was maybe quieter than usual, but it was hard for Hijikata to tell since they didn't talk very much normally. He could ask if something was bothering him, but Wan had it right in thinking it'd only deter Gintoki from saying anything.

“Ya know... we could probably go to the pond after the raid.”

Gintoki made a sound of acknowledgment, but it didn't confirm or deny if he wanted to go at all. That was strange considering how adamant he'd been about going not too long ago. So, what, did he suddenly not care now?

Hijikata moved onto Gintoki's other wing and gave it a similar treatment. He was methodical and did his best not to pull on any feathers too hard as he pressed his fingers through them. They were all so soft, but the small extra curly ones were especially so. Those ones were also fluffier than the larger ones and there was an abundance of them. There wasn't anything moving within the feathers, so Hijikata took that as the best possible sign and let himself pretend that preening really was essential their health.

“All clear.”

They switched spots in silence and the second Gintoki touched him, Hijikata went rigid. He hadn't meant to and now he understood why Gintoki had had such a difficult time being still. Hijikata had felt hands on his wings many times before now, but like this, in this space, it was awkward. His wings tried to curl inward, but Gintoki put a hand on both joints and stilled them. No doubt he'd already known it was going to happen and he just calmly waited for the instinct to lessen enough for Hijikata to keep them opened on his own.

“Do you remember any of the names for the different feathers?”

Hijikata put his hands in his lap to hide how his fingers twisted, yearning for a cigarette. “Somewhat.”

“Name them.”

“I don't really remember which is which.”

“That's fine.”

“Well, there were primaries.”

Gintoki's fingers brushed the long feathers at the end of his right wing. “I think these are them. I only remember that one because I thought they were primarily the biggest.”

“That's one way to remember them,” Hijikata relented and snorted softly. “There were secondaries as well, I believe they're at the bottom, too, but shorter.”

Gintoki's hand moved closer to the base near Hijikata's back, asking, “Here?”

“I think. We could get the book out, if you want.”

“No, this is fine for now. What were some others?”

“There was stuff about coverts. I remember reading words like alula and scapulars.”

“I don't know where those would be,” Gintoki said and his hand slid upward to run along the narrowing ridge of Hijikata's wing.

“I've got a weird question.”

“I'm sure I've heard weirder. What've you got?”

Hijikata licked his lips. “Do you feel any muscle up there?”

“By my standard, that wasn't weird at all. Try harder next time,” Gintoki replied and gave Hijikata what _almost_ felt like a teasing little squeeze at the joint of his wing. “I do feel muscles, yeah. It only makes sense, how else do you think we're able to move them around?”

“I get that, but I guess I just never thought about those muscles actually being connected to my body somehow.”

It dawned on him then that Gintoki had already been thinking about this for awhile now. All his talk about building his new muscles up, his discovery of an extra set of muscles in his front and shoulders, it all clicked and Hijikata felt like an _idiot_. It was such a simple concept, but Hijikata hadn't ever really considered it too much. Work was always on the forefront of his mind and he'd just labeled the wings as temporary, for the most part, so –

“What would parasites look like?”

Hijikata's stomach dropped. “Are you asking because you think you see one?”

“No, just curious.”

“Probably like lice.” Gintoki hummed and Hijikata felt the need to elaborate with, “Don't worry about what it looks like, just consider anything tiny and moving a perpetrator.”

“So bugs are criminals now?”

“They are when they're on my body without my permission.”

“What about when they're in your room? Is that considered trespassing?”

“I tolerate you just fine, so you tell me.”

Gintoki snorted and Hijikata prepared himself to get a feather tugged in retaliation, but instead, all he got was a few feathers put on top of his head. He shook his hair out and watched a couple of them float down to the floor in front of him while Gintoki continued down his right wing. There weren't a ton of feathers coming out, but there were enough that Hijikata could hear them lightly fluttering against the floor as they landed.

The hands eventually finished scoping out his right wing and moved onto his left one. Fingers started at the very base of his wing and worked outward toward the end. Hijikata was actually surprised Gintoki was taking his time and wasn't rushing through it just to get it done with as quickly as possible. It was a relief, in a way. Hijikata didn't want to have to ask Yamazaki or someone to look through his feathers for him. Not only because it'd take them away from work, but also, he didn't want more people than absolutely necessary touching him like this. Gintoki hadn't been kidding, it _did_ feel weird, not even Wan had touched every part of his wings like this. Just thinking of the doctor reminded Hijikata that he still wasn't any closer to figuring out anything about Gintoki's problem, if there was one.

“Whatever you're thinking about, stop it.”

Hijikata tensed. “What?”

“You're wings go... odd when you overthink, uh, whatever it is you think about, and I'm running out of things to distract you with.” Hijikata's eyes went wide and he couldn't move anymore than he could think of something to say. Gintoki, however, either didn't notice or didn't acknowledge this and went on, “I think our wings really do have to be connected to our brains somehow. They just seem to respond in relation to our thoughts and I'm hesitant to say that because I'm still convinced cops don't think much. You in particular.”

Hijikata purposefully jerked his right wing back and battered Gintoki's face with the feathers. Gintoki sputtered and shoved Hijikata's wing away, but he seemed amused about it rather than annoyed. As for Hijikata, he was... unsettled. Here he was trying to figure out what was going on with Gintoki and the bastard was noticing things he _shouldn't be noticing_. He knew Hijikata's wings went odd, as he'd put it, when he thought too much and Hijikata didn't have a single fucking clue what made Gintoki's wings twitch or flinch or shake.

“You're doing it again,” Gintoki muttered and flicked the back of Hijikata's neck.

“I ca – why don't... never mind.” Hijikata rubbed an eye tiredly and pictured a bottle of mayonnaise in his head, there was no way he could overthink something so perfect. “Aren't you almost done?”

“Yeah, just about.”

“Hurry up.”

Gintoki huffed, but said no more and felt out the ends of Hijikata's left wing before calling it quits. It was a relief when he was finished and Hijikata rolled his shoulders to shake off the phantom touch still lingering. Standing up, he looked around at all the feathers on the floor and frowned. It didn't take a genius to see that there were twice as many white feathers as there were black ones.

“You lost a lot of feathers going through this.”

Gintoki lazily picked one up. “So did you. I don't really see why it's necessary for us to lose any at all.”

“Birds do that, apparently.”

“When have you ever seen a bird lose this many at once?”

“Never, but I've never seen a bird person, either, so how are we supposed to compare ourselves to anything?”

“We can't, I guess,” Gintoki mused and blew the feather away from him. “Anyway, I'm going to bed, try not to wake me up when you come over.”

Hijikata watched him get up, but then quickly went to his desk to give himself something to do – not to mention get that cigarette he'd been craving. If there was anything that was absolutely clear after following through with the preening, it was that Hijikata well and truly had his work cut out for him when it came to Gintoki.

**To Be Continued**

 


	21. Every Good Fanfiction Must Have a Beach Day Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beach day!

 

**Big THANK YOU, to[wing-gold-tiger](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwing-gold-tiger.deviantart.com%2F&t=ODZlZTg5NWZjMDhjNzgxZGRmZWIwZjQzMzNkNzMwZGIxN2U4NGI0ZSw0SlR2NFp4aQ%3D%3D) the wonderful surprise fanart! **

** **

**Another THANK YOU to[yngvild](http://yngvild.tumblr.com/post/144401144225) for this one.**

**These two people are alone responsible for another update so quickly after the other one. Enjoy!**

Hijikata, just on the verge of consciousness, rolled and realized his own mistake too late. His wing protested and he woke fully with a gasp. He was distracted for all of ten seconds before he figured out that something was really wrong – Gintoki's wing wasn't over him. Hijikata remembered distinctly wriggling underneath it when he'd finally exhausted himself and gone to bed... however many hours ago that had been. He squinted around the dark room and didn't see the white outline of Gintoki's wings anywhere.

With a yawn, Hijikata heaved himself up and went for the porch door. Whenever he woke up in the night, he sometimes just wanted fresh air and figured the porch would be a good place to start looking. He slid the door open and found the porch deserted and silent. He looked down both sides to make sure Gintoki wasn't wandering, but there was no sign of him. It crossed his mind that Gintoki might just be using the restroom, but he didn't feel safe in assuming.

Hijikata walked out into the hall and it didn't take him long to spot the light coming out from beneath Sougo's door. He wasn't close enough to hear anything, so he moved just a little closer to confirm what his gut was already telling him. He heard Sougo's muffled voice and after that, a deeper tone, obviously belonging to Gintoki, followed. Hijikata backed off, having confirmed what he needed, and returned to his room. He wasn't going to eavesdrop and so long as Gintoki wasn't out somewhere in the barracks where he shouldn't be, then Hijikata had no problem with who he wanted to spend time with.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata's day had begun early.

He'd gone back to bed after finding out where Gintoki was and he'd slept for only a couple hours before starting his day. By then it was around seven and he didn't want to linger around his room, so he'd just gone and set off his morning right. He went on his rounds through the barracks, got his subordinates up and moving, and tried not to think too hard on why Sougo's room was empty or where its occupants had disappeared to.

When he returned to his room an hour later, he was shocked to find Gintoki already there. He wasn't sleeping or reading, he was actually upright and active. Well... perhaps active wasn't quite right since he was currently shimmying up against a wall.

Hijikata paused in the doorway and raised a brow. “What's this?”

“What's what?”

“What you're doing.” Hijikata shook his head – he was convinced being around Gintoki made him stupid – and rephrased, “What're you doing?”

“Nothing,” Gintoki whined and slammed his back into the wall again.

He moved up and down, side to side, his wings leaned forward so it was his back directly to the wood. He wriggled and squirmed and the look of alarm on his face was terribly alarming in itself since it was right there where Hijikata could see it.

“That's a lie, what's your deal?”

“Itchy,” Gintoki replied, distressed. “It hurts!”

“It hurts?”

“It's so itchy!” Gintoki whimpered. “I think a feather got stuck in my shirt! I can't reach it!” He hit himself against the wall again and his wings stretched forward so far that the tips on either one touched in front of him. “I just came in to change! This is no way to live!”

“It's just a feather,” Hijikata chastised, exasperated. “Why must everything you do be so dramatic?”

“It makes me a better protagonist!”

“Sure it does.” Hijikata entered the room and shut the door behind him. “Which volume of Jump did you read that nonsense in?”

“Ahhhhhh!” Gintoki yelled, frustrated, and took a big step forward so he could bend and twist an arm back to try and reach up his back. “I hate this!”

Hijikata debated for a moment, but when Gintoki unzipped his shirt and made to rip it off, Hijikata stepped closer.

“Don't be an idiot, come here.” Gintoki cussed and Hijikata had to quickly step back to avoid getting hit by a wing when Gintoki spun around. Gintoki's willingness to even accept any help was a huge indicator that he was likely seconds away from making a really bad decision. “Be still.”

“Easy for you to say, bastard!”

Despite being so snappish, Gintoki stilled and knowing his time was limited, Hijikata shoved a hand up Gintoki's shirt. It was amazing to him that Gintoki could be reduced to such a mess over a stupid feather and to think: this is the same man that had helped the Shinsengumi on different occasions before! Snorting softly to himself, Hijikata slid his hand further up and went to feel between Gintoki's shoulder blades. He felt around and both Gintoki's wings shot out as he jiggled and made a panicked noise. Hijikata explored with his fingers and only stopped once he felt something soft against the backs of his fingers. He rotated his wrist and grabbed a small feather that had to be the cause of Gintoki's childish dancing in place. However, upon pulling it out, he was surprised to find it to be black instead of white.

“So _you're_ the culprit,” Gintoki groused, glaring over his shoulder at it.

“Probably didn't see it since it matches the color of your shirt.”

“That one you can burn.”

Hijikata went for his desk. “I'm not gonna do that.”

“Why?” Gintoki zipped his shirt closed and stretched his wings out. “Because it's yours?”

“It'll stink no matter if it's yours or mine. I'm just glad it wasn't mites or ants.”

“You just _had_ to bring up the ants, didn't you?”

Pulling out his phone, the feather a centerpiece on his desk, Hijikata replied, “You do plenty of things at my expense, I'm allowed to get some shots in where I can.”

He typed out and sent a quick message, he only hoped Yamazaki would respond to it in a timely fashion. Gintoki continued twitching and complaining under his breath as he went over to the futons and dug around in the folds of his own. Feathers were scattered everywhere, both black and white, but the heat that was already building the room made them stick closer to the floor. Hijikata busied himself at his desk and spent time reviewing the schedule for the day to double check that was all was in order there.

“Breakfast!” Yamazaki shouted as he entered without knocking.

Hijikata was too relieved Yamazaki had gotten there before Gintoki had done something like leave that he couldn't reprimand him for not remembering to knock. Now, _why_ Yamazaki was the only person that seemed to have trouble knocking was beyond Hijikata. It didn't seem to matter how many times he talked to Yamazaki about it, the same issue always resurfaced eventually. Yamazaki took Gintoki a tray, then breezed over to put a different tray on Hijikata's desk.

“Anything else?”

Hijikata waved a hand. “Not right now.”

Yamazaki disappeared and Hijikata watched Gintoki poke at the tray from the corner of his eye. He was sitting on his futon with his legs crossed and immediately pushed aside a bowl of okayu.

“Don't like that?” Hijikata asked nonchalantly.

“It tastes like wood.”

“It does not!”

“Oh, it does so! It's all grainy and gross.”

Finding one of his special substitutions, Gintoki made a pleased noise and swiped up the pudding cup before falling onto his back. Hijikata wasn't even going to advise he not eat on his back, he was just glad Gintoki had taken something to eat. Hijikata tucked into his own food and unlike Gintoki, he consumed the okayu provided without complaint.

A knock came and when Hijikata called out, Kondo came in with a smile.

“Hope I'm not interrupting anything.”

“Of course not,” Hijikata replied. “Is something the matter?”

“No, I just wanted to run something by you.”

“Let's hear it.”

“You know how we're planning our raid for tomorrow?”

Hijikata raised a stack of paperwork and scoffed, “I would know that more than anyone.”

“Well, since we got all the major planning out of the way yesterday, I figured today would be a good day to mentally fortify the team.”

“Mentally fortify...? How so?”

“Beach day.”

Hijikata's brows crumpled. “Beach day?”

Kagura and Shinpachi burst into the room, proclaiming in unison, “Beach day!”

Both of them were dressed and ready for a day in the sun. Kagura had on a straw hat and wore a coverup over her red bikini. Shinpachi was in his bright yellow swim trunks and his shirt, one Hijikata didn't recognize, read _Beach Samurai_ on the front. Behind them, standing in the doorway, was Otae in a pink kimono with a basket hanging in the crook of her arm.

Hijikata was surprised, surely, but more than anything, he wanted all these people out of his room. He didn't mind if certain people stopped by every now and then, but this felt a little invasive. It was one thing to be forced to let Gintoki into his space, it was another thing to allow Kagura and Shinpachi to stay sometimes, and it was a whole different thing entirely to have increasingly larger groups of people push their way in. His wings had bunched up so much that the ends were pressed uncomfortably to the floor and the room – _his_ room – no longer felt like a safe haven. He was being ridiculous, he knew, but this was the one place he really called his own; it was quiet, dependably constant, infallibly organized – but not anymore.

It was strange how quickly that hit him, how fast it swept through him and left a knot in his stomach. He suddenly felt the way he did when he was at the Yorozuya apartment and he loathed it. He could never say so, of course, he knew better and the rationality, or lack thereof, surrounding the whole thing would only make him sound petulant. He was an adult and he could handle this, but that it was there at all to contend with pissed him off a great deal.

“What do you say?” Kondo asked, staring at Hijikata with a huge grin. “Beach day?”

There was no way he could get out of this, so he took the easy way out and nodded.

“Beach day.”

Kondo laughed loudly and went off to, as he said, finish getting ready. He told Hijikata to come back to the cars when he was ready so they could give the new seat a test run before employing it tomorrow. Hijikata spotted Gintoki's half-eaten pudding cup abandoned on the floor and he wanted so much for all of them to go and leave him behind to work. He'd much rather be productive than spend time outside in the sand, wasting the day away.

Regardless, twenty minutes later and Hijikata was in his new seat with Harada behind the wheel. They were on their way and two cars had already left to whatever area had been staked out for them to use for the day.

“How did this idea come about?”

“I don't know,” Harada replied. “I was just told where to go and when to be there.”

“Sounds about right,” Hijikata mumbled.

He didn't feel that anything particularly good could come from having Kondo, Otae, Gintoki, Kagura, and Shinpachi all in one car. If Kondo looked over and got distracted by Otae, there was little chance that car was going to stay on the road. Though, it wasn't like any of Hijikata's thoughts mattered and it was ironic to him that he'd bothered looking at the schedule earlier.

When they got there, Hijikata's eyes roved over the space that had been designated for him and for the most part, he approved. It was a hot day, just like all the others, and Hijikata was covered in a thin sweat within minutes of being exposed to the sun. He didn't necessarily mind it, he liked warmth alright, but the humidity was still so thick and dense it felt like there was an invisible weight pressing down on his chest.

Hijikata walked up to where Kondo had just finished raising a large canopy and took shelter underneath, already trying to get away from the sun. He stripped down to just his blue swim trunks and even that didn't cool him off.

“You're sure no one will see us out here?”

“We have the whole area blocked off and with those mounds of sand where they are, no one will be able to see over them. We're as secluded as we can be, so please relax and enjoy the day!”

So much easier said than done, but Hijikata nodded anyway. Otae had a huge umbrella and she was already down to her red one piece with a white bow on her right shoulder, but she was alone setting things up. Hijikata sat down under the canopy and frowned at the stifling breeze coming in off the water. The breeze was supposed to feel like a reprieve, not like a steaming blanket being thrown over him. Some members of the Shinsengumi had been left behind to attend to the daily business and Hijikata brought his phone out to check in on them. He also pulled out some paperwork he'd snuck along with him and he had every intention of taking each subordinate at the beach aside to go over tomorrow's raid with them.

Just because he was the beach didn't mean he was going to slack off like everyone else. The breeze posed a problem and it was taking his ink forever to dry whenever he made a mark, but he didn't let that deter him. He worked for a solid hour and he was relieved that no one tried to approach him or tell him to stop.

But when Hijikata raised his head and looked out on the beach, he could see that something had definitely happened while he'd been working.

There was a flurry down by the water and two groups were enthusiastically working in the sand. Gintoki and his kids were one group an the other consisted of Sougo, Yamazaki, Harada, and Nagakura. Both groups were building massive sandcastles and from where Hijikata was sitting, it looked like Sougo and Kagura had taken over artillery for their respective castles. The sandcastles themselves were _huge_ and how they'd managed to get them built so high, Hijikata could only speculate.

“Look at how many of you it takes just to keep up with us!” Kagura jeered.

Sougo snapped, “We're doing more than keeping up with you, China!”

Hijikata shook his head at their antics, but he kept watching. The Yorozuya had a massive sandcastle that was curved and protect on all sides Hijikata could see by raised walls of sand. The Shinsengumi had an equally gigantic castle, but it was... lacking in several ways. The biggest problem was that the Shinsengumi were losing and that only became more apparent when one of the towers crumbled under Kagura's next onslaught.

“You need a stronger base!” Hijikata shouted and while Sougo ignored him, the others stopped and stared blankly at him. Yamazaki started to push sand toward one of the walls and the movement itself was like a silent question. Hijikata whipped his head side to side, yelling, “Wrong place! The other – no! The taller one, the – ugh, hold on!”

With as much dignity as he could muster, because he truly wasn't getting dragged into this, he got up and went over to show them what he was talking about. What he hadn't anticipated was how difficult it would be to even reach the castle with Kagura on the offensive and he had to dodge a lot of sand bombs to get where he needed to go. He wasn't getting involved, definitely not, but he wasn't about to sit there shouting direction to incompetent fools that didn't understand the best methods for building something like a sandcastle. He used his wings to block wet sand balls and one of them exploded against his feathered shield and showered him in the tiny particles.

“You need more sand here,” Hijikata instructed and pointed to the frontmost tower. “You need more water, too, the sand is too loose, that's why it keeps falling away. It looks even worse close up, how is this thing even still standing?”

“Sheer willpower and determination,” Yamazaki promptly replied.

“Incoming!” Sougo called.

The impact of whatever Kagura threw hit the barricade and sent part of it crumbling down. Hijikata threw a wing up to block the raining sand and he nearly fell over when three bodies almost crushed him to get behind his wing as well.

“Get away,” he said, nudging them off when the sand was done falling. He shook his wings out to dislodge all the clumps and glared up Sougo. “Why're you up there if you're not doing anything?”

Sougo dumped a glob of sand down on Hijikata with a flat, “Oops.”

“Why're all of you so dumb? I don't understand it!”

“Ready!” Gintoki's voice carried through the air. “Aim!” Hijikata tensed and felt his wings fluff up. “Fire!”

Sand came down like a meteor shower and it didn't matter that Hijikata had flung his wings out around him anymore than it mattered to his subordinates that were trying to once more take shelter under him. The sand was wet, so it came in thick clods and stuck wherever they landed with little _splat_ noises.

“That is _it_!” His wings snapped out and sand puffed off him. “You two, get more sand on that base! Yamazaki, refill the water buckets! Sougo, you _useless_ brat, you of all people should be better at initiating a counterattack than this!”

“I barely have any cover anymore! I don't know what they did over there, but none of their walls are coming down!”

“Where the hell is your bazooka? You always seem to have it when I never want you to!”

“That trick is reserved especially for you, I can't reveal my secrets about it.”

“Of course you can't,” Hijikata grumbled and started to climb up toward Sougo with a bucket of sand.

He had to admit that the size of the sandcastle was impressive... but also, unnecessary. Hijikata reached the top, but didn't get on the ledge because he was sure Sougo would push him off if he did. He peered over the top at the Yorozuya sandcastle and he immediately hated it even more from this angle. Not only was it slightly taller, but they'd even taken the time to put a little flag on the end of a stick and had it placed at their tallest point. Annoyed, Hijikata reached into the bucket of wet sand and made himself a decent sized ball. He steadied himself, took aim, and tossed his projectile at the stupid flag. It was almost too satisfying to see the sand ball explode and the flag disappear.

Hijikata only had a moment to smirk about it before three pairs of glaring eyes peered over the edge opposite him. The ridge of Gintoki's wings could be seen and Shinpachi's glasses glinted menacingly in the sunlight.

“You shouldn't have done that,” Sougo scorned softly.

On the tail end of those words, balls of sand were hurdled their way and Hijikata barely managed to duck in time. One of the balls still clipped his head, but he missed most of the barrage and he muttered curses until it stopped.

“Okay, it's on,” Hijikata said and began issuing orders for a strike of their own.

He knew Sougo wasn't going to be cooperative, but they'd all have to work together if they were going to stand a chance. They'd need more sand and water brought up to reinforce their defenses and the base was still too weak to support anymore weight.

He had his work cut out for him on this one.

-o-O-o-

“I'm not sure how this happened,” Yamazaki confessed and his hair was sand-slicked into a style very reminiscent of Vegeta's.

Everything had fallen apart somewhere in the last couple of hours. Both sandcastle forts were completely destroyed and there was just sand... everywhere and on everything. There was no part of Hijikata that wasn't sandy, all the particles covered him like a second skin and stuck there because of his sweat. He was filthy, thirsty, hungry, and he still didn't see any point in what had just happened. He couldn't even say for sure which side had won and he was tempted to just say everyone had lost because they were all losers for doing it in the first place.

Sougo and Kagura were currently trying to bury each other alive and there was no way Hijikata was going to get in the way of that. Every time they attacked one another, they sent up a wave of sand and left big divots in their wake. Gintoki was helping Shinpachi dig out his lost glasses from one of the mounds marking where their sandcastle used to be and Otae was helping Kondo unearth someone, possibly Harada, from one of the large piles. Where exactly things had gone wrong, Hijikata wasn't entirely sure, but it was likely around the time bodies had started to fly. Kondo had joined the Shinsengumi side, Otae had joined the Yorozuya, more members of the Shinsengumi had come over, and eventually, things just deteriorated.

Explosively and magnificently _deteriorated_.

“I give up,” Hijikata said and went down to the ocean to wash himself off.

He washed thoroughly and it felt good to get all the grimy sand off of him. He felt lighter afterward and shook his wings out as he walked up to where all their stuff was situated. He needed something to eat pronto or he wasn't going to last much longer. They'd packed plenty of food, so all Hijikata had to do was open the right container and he'd find everything he wanted. He chugged a bottle of water, then grabbed some mayonnaise and stuffed his face with that and an array of snacks. The break he got from the sun while sitting beneath the canopy was much needed and having had cooled off in the water already, he wasn't feeling like his entire body was on fire anymore.

By the time he was done with his break, things had settled down a little. Gintoki, Shinpachi, and Otae were sitting in the water where Sougo and Kagura had just joined them with a big splash. Hijikata expected the two to keep fighting, but whatever Otae said or did got them to stop and though they were on opposite sides of the makeshift circle, they behaved themselves somewhat. Though, Hijikata could see them flicking things at each other, probably shells they found where they were floating. The Shinsengumi were scattered around doing various things – some were eating like Hijikata, others were talking, and some were simply sunbathing or napping.

Though Hijikata would rather be back working and making sure the ones left behind were doing their jobs, this wasn't _that_ bad. At least, it wasn't as terrible as he'd initially imagined it. Plus, whenever he texted someone, they replied promptly and gave him reports when he asked for them. Satisfied with that, Hijikata made sure he was totally dry and reached for where he'd hidden his paperwork.

-o-O-o-

Things had changed again and groups had reformed and dispersed across the beach. Hijikata was taking a break from his work and his eyes had landed on a bobbing head of permy hair. Gintoki was the furthest out of anyone and he kept diving under the water. Sometimes he didn't come back up for awhile and other times, he came back up right away. Whenever he did emerge, it was in a different spot and whatever was out there, he seemed rather absorbed with it.

“Ka-chan! Throw me some goggles!”

She easily hurled a pair all the way out to him and Hijikata idly watched him put them on and dive back down. He was gone a lot longer this next time and when he came back up, he was actually smiling. He disappeared under the water again and he stayed below so long that Hijikata began to wonder if he'd accidentally drowned. Gintoki popped back up with a gasp and to Hijikata's shock, Gintoki turned and waved an arm at him. He thought he imagined it at first, but then Gintoki did it again, more impatiently this time, and Hijikata jolted. He held up a finger for Gintoki to give him a minute, then stood and stretched to loosen his muscles up.

After locating a pair of goggles, he walked down the beach and waded into the water. He could feel shells beneath his feet and while they poked at him, they weren't sharp enough to cut him. It only took a few steps for the shells to give way to sand and once the water reached his waist, it began to recede back toward his thighs. He was walking onto a sandbank and Gintoki was messing around just beyond it. When Hijikata got closer, Gintoki splashed over and propped his upper half on the sandbank.

“You're not a very good swimmer,” Hijikata remarked.

“I'm not much of a swimmer at all, actually, but I've discovered that having wings is a close equivalent to having built in floaty devices.”

“I never would've thought of them that way.”

“Because you never really swim, you just walk around and mutter things.”

“You usually do enough splashing for the both of us.”

“It's more like flailing,” Gintoki dismissed and put his mouth underwater to blow a big bubble in place of a huff.

Hijikata sat down on the bank with his legs hanging off the steep drop at the end, asking, “What'd you call me out here for?

“Just watch, I'll show you.”

Hijikata wasn't given a chance to ask anything because Gintoki had already disappeared under the water. Sighing, Hijikata got the goggles in place, pressed his face to the surface, and blinked to let his eyes adjust. What he saw made bubbles explode from his mouth until he brought up a hand to stop them so he could see better.

Gintoki might have been unable to fly on land, but underneath the water, he could damn near soar. He was like one of the seabirds that dove in from above to go after their prey and fly through the water. All Gintoki had to do was open his wings as a current rolled in and it'd catch him like a gust of wind. To turn, he'd tilt his wings, then shift his arms or legs to keep himself balanced. He flapped his wings to move and pick up speed and he went so fast that he could go from the surface to the bottom in seconds since it wasn't very deep there. His movements weren't always graceful and it wasn't actually swimming, it was... it was flying underwater.

Hijikata instantly knew he wanted to try.

He might drown if his wings freaked out on him, a lot of bad things could happen, but he still really wanted to give it a shot.

Hijikata sat up and slid his goggles up onto his forehead when Gintoki came back to the surface; he was breathing pretty hard when he grabbed onto the bank and floated there with his legs dangling motionless behind him. Hijikata hadn't ever given much thought to Gintoki's swimming abilities and judging by the way he'd cling to things to stay afloat said a lot. The pond wasn't very deep at any parts, especially without any rain to replenish it, so Gintoki likely had more confidence there for that reason alone. It was a strange thought in that Hijikata hadn't noticed anything off about it until now.

“Fair warning, it takes a lot of work to do that.”

“Really? I just assumed you wheeze like that whenever you have to put any amount of effort into something.”

Gintoki snorted and used his wing to send a little splash of water Hijikata's way. “We'll see who's wheezing once you've tried it.”

“What makes you think I wanna do that?”

“You kidding? It's written all over your face.”

“T'ch – do you know what's written all over _your_ face?”

“No...?”

“Sunburn.”

One of Gintoki's hands flew up and smacked against his cheek. “No! But I put on sunscreen!”

“How long ago did you put it on?”

“I... I don't know!” His hand moved to different parts of his face. “I feel warm, but everything feels warm out here! Are you sure it's a sunburn? I don't wanna go through that again! I just finished peeling from last time!”

Gintoki was so pathetically distressed that Hijikata _almost_ felt bad for him.

“I guess you could just be flushed from doing things in the water,” Hijikata ventured and shooed Gintoki's hand out of the way. He pushed Gintoki's wet bangs up and pressed the pad of his pointer finger firmly to the center of Gintoki's forehead. He held it there for five seconds and when he removed it, Gintoki's skin went from white to pink to red in that one spot and Hijikata sighed. “With your skin, you should be applying a new layer at least every two hours.”

“I wasn't thinking about it!”

“Calm down, it doesn't seem too bad just yet. If you put more on once we're done with this, then you might be able to avoid the peeling process.”

“Stupid sun,” Gintoki hissed and glared down at his reflection in the water.

Hijikata lowered his goggles back down over his eyes. “Yes, it's all the sun's fault. How dare it shine in your presence on your delicate skin.”

Hijikata was then saved the trouble of sliding into the water because Gintoki yanked on his leg and tugged him in. He spluttered as some went up his nose and the salt stung, but Gintoki had already shifted down the bank so he was out of reach. Hijikata settled for splashing him and then turned his attention to the water. Bracing his feet on the sandbank, Hijikata took a deep breath, pushed off, and glided beneath the surface. He was nervous, but everything in him was telling him to try this, possible drowning be damned.

He kept his wings tucked in, but when he opened them even the slightest bit, the current would catch them. There weren't any high waves and it wasn't choppy at the surface, but below, the flow of water was strong. It must have been the time of day because it wasn't strong enough to pull him out to sea, but he could definitely feel it when it hit him. His movements were different from Gintoki's, probably because he could actually swim, but the result was mostly the same. Once Hijikata got used to the give and take of the current, he could move easily and with speed.

It was freeing as much as it was liberating, but the real surprise was the burn in his chest. His lungs weren't screaming for air, his muscles just _hurt_. It started as an easily ignorable ache, but quickly turn into a full burn that stretched from his chest and went into his back. When he surfaced, he was shocked by the amount of relief that came from just relaxing and letting his muscles rest. Gintoki must have been watching because he was tossing his head to get his wet bangs out of his face.

“Not bad, right?”

“Not bad,” Hijikata agreed and treaded water to stay in place. “I'm gonna... do it again.”

With another deep breath, he dunked under and all he had to do was open his wings wide for the current to propel him forward. He went faster than he expected and ended up doing a complete barrel roll, but the motion itself was smooth. Hijikata couldn't walk sometimes worth an actual damn, but down here he had a full range of motion that wasn't constricted by anything. He could experiment and get used to the feathery additions to his back without falling over, wobbling around, or smashing into things. Going down to the bottom, he touched his hands to the sand, then did a quick flip to push off with his feet. His lungs and muscles were at their limit, so he shot to the surface and barely managed to fling his wings out in time to slow him down before breaking to the top.

“I hadn't thought of that,” Gintoki said, sounding puzzled.

Hijikata didn't get a chance to ask what he meant before he'd disappeared under the water and went straight to the bottom. Shoving his face under, Hijikata watched Gintoki hit the sand and push off to torpedo back upward. It took only flapping his partially folded wings a few times and catching the current just right to give Gintoki all the speed he needed. Hijikata lifted his head in time to see Gintoki's whole body leave the water and a huge spray of droplets came drizzling down when he snapped his wings open. He must not have been expecting that to happen because he screamed and flailed spasmodically midair before smacking down in a loud bellyflop that had Hijikata wincing on his behalf.

Gintoki surfaced, gargling, “That didn't go as planned!”

“It did if your plan was to look stupid.”

“Shut up, I almost lost my trunks!”

“I'll consider it a small miracle that you didn't.” Gintoki had already scrambled over to cling to the sandbank and he had an arm curled around himself to rub his stomach. “If you're done being dumb, I'm going back down.”

He didn't wait, he just submerged, so he was surprised when the current rolled him through a somersault just as Gintoki was doing the same thing upside down. He blew bubbles at Hijikata and with a big flap of his wings, he went spinning downward to the ocean floor. Gintoki didn't touch down and instead glided just above the sand, which was apparently low enough to be beneath the current. Opening his wings up and raising them completely altered Gintoki's course in the same way that Hijikata assumed an air flow would.

He also noticed that Gintoki used his wings a lot more whereas Hijikata relied predominantly on his arms and legs. Gintoki would kick from time to time or use an arm to steady himself, but he did a majority of the work with his wings alone and Hijikata revisited the idea that Gintoki really didn't know how to swim very well. He didn't know for sure, but it seemed like a good enough explanation to him and he made a note to keep that in mind.

Tucking his wings in, Hijikata attempted to do the same thing Gintoki had done. It didn't work for him, not even a little bit, and it wasn't because his wings weren't cooperating. On the contrary, he wasn't having any trouble with them, it was just that using them primarily didn't feel natural. He didn't have the same ease Gintoki did and almost immediately, Hijikata was right back to using his arms and legs to get around with just minor wing adjustments here and there. Another reason he didn't want to use his wings as much was because of how it made his muscles burn the more he used them. It was no wonder Gintoki had been panting so hard when Hijikata had come over if just one full flap against the water made his whole chest twinge.

“I like being at the bottom,” Gintoki said when Hijikata surfaced for air. “It's a lot cooler down there.”

“Downright cold in some spots,” Hijikata replied and let his wings go lax as he treaded water to stay in place.

“Feels good to me.”

“Probably bec –”

“If you breathe a word about a sunburn, your mayo lighter will have an incident with water that it'll never come back from.”

Hijikata's eyes bulged. “That's a little extreme!”

“I'm currently living in denial and I'm not gonna let you ruin that.”

“Yes, fine, that's – yeah, the sun is... stupid.”

Gintoki barked a short laugh and for the safety of his lighter, Hijikata vowed to not say a single thing about sunburns in any context for at least the next two days. Without another word, Gintoki slipped back into the water and this time, Hijikata followed. He wasn't quite sure how Gintoki started it, but they were quickly chasing each other. Hijikata was hesitant to call it tag since there was just two of them, but it was somewhat like that, except they were also trying to outdo one another. They came up for a quick breath when they needed to, but mostly they were pitching and rolling beneath the water. Truthfully, it had started because Gintoki had been a pest tugging on Hijikata's wings or limbs and that had ignited all this.

It was _annoying_ , too, because Gintoki was freakishly good at changing direction at the last second. He could spiral out of Hijikata's reach with just a flick of his wings and Hijikata couldn't make turns like that without first slowing or throwing his legs out to give him enough momentum to direct himself. Gintoki was truly a freak, he decided, and the more frustrated he got, the harder he worked to catch Gintoki off guard. He managed to, sometimes, but Gintoki tended to get him back pretty quick right after.

Gintoki often made faces at him and the one he liked best was puffing his cheeks out and crossing his eyes. Hijikata was sure Gintoki was teasing him and he hated that it was sort of and kind of really effective. Being underwater together also gave Hijikata an excuse to look Gintoki over and he still didn't see where the weight loss was coming from. At times, when Gintoki sucked his stomach in to move, Hijikata could see the outline of his lowermost ribs, but that didn't mean anything. If Hijikata sucked his own stomach in, some of his ribs would show as well and it wasn't like Gintoki looked skeletal at all. To all appearances, Gintoki seemed healthy and Hijikata had a hard time believing Gintoki was losing muscle mass because whenever Gintoki flexed to move, his muscles were all very much there.

The weight loss didn't make sense and something really wasn't adding up. Hijikata hadn't seen Gintoki stop to eat or even drink yet and the only thing he knew Gintoki had consumed was half a pudding cup earlier. Logic dictated that if Hijikata was hungry again after eating at various times already throughout the day, then Gintoki should be starving. Hijikata was learning, however, that Gintoki defied logic on a daily basis just as he seemed to defy physics when he suddenly twirled backward and somehow touched both hands to Hijikata's back. Growling bubbles, Hijikata spread his wings out to come to an abrupt stop and went after Gintoki again.

On one of the many dives, Hijikata went for the bottom where Gintoki was coasting near the sand. It felt like every part of him was burning from the exertions, but he'd be lying if he said it didn't feel good on some level. He let the current carry him down and when he went to swoop along the bottom, his left wing suddenly jerked. Instead of moving along the bottom, he slammed into it as the current yanked him and air was forced from his mouth at the impact. He thought for sure the next wave would send him rolling further out, but a hand caught his wrist and pulled him upward. All Hijikata had to do was tuck his wings in and let himself be guided into a smooth arc until his head broke the surface.

“Fuck,” Hijikata groused as he took off his goggles and hauled himself onto the sandbank to cough up some water he'd accidentally swallowed. He had a hand rubbing the center of his chest when Gintoki sat down next to him and both of them were panting heavily. His face was extra hot with embarrassment, but Gintoki said nothing, he merely sat with him. “I'm... a-already sore.”

“I am, too. Just wait, it'll be worse tomorrow.”

“Great....”

“Aside from that last bit, that was really cool though, huh?”

“It was different.”

Gintoki nudged him with a wing and pushed his goggles up onto his head. “You can say it was cool, you were obviously enjoying it.”

“It was good exercise.”

“You know, getting you to admit you were having a little fun is like trying to pull teeth.”

“It's not _that_ difficult.”

Gintoki stretched his wings back and shook off some stray droplets. “Believe whatever you want, but when you're ready to get in touch with reality, let me know.”

“Said the guy in denial,” Hijikata muttered.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! Let's just go back now, I'm getting hungry again.”

“Sure.”

Gintoki stood and Hijikata went with him, his stomach rumbling at the idea of food.

“Those goggles left some ridiculous imprints around your eyes,” Hijikata said as they trudged through the water.

“You should have a look at yourself, then. If I'm ridiculous, then you're somewhere beyond that.”

Hijikata hit him with his wing and Gintoki hit him right back. There was no way Hijikata was going to say so, but his body felt like jelly. He was comfortably exhausted, to be sure, and to date, he'd never felt this kind of burn in so many places within his body. He could even say that his wings felt tired and that every time he moved one of them, he felt that movement all the way down to his toes, like it took _that much_ out of him to operate them. It was a curious sensation, but not altogether unwelcome, just foreign.

The beach was littered with people and it was pleasantly casual. Kagura and Otae had covered Kondo's body in sand and they were shaping it into a big gorilla around him. Sougo was sunbathing apart from everyone else and Shinpachi appeared to be collecting seashells or maybe stones as he waded along the surf. Hijikata gratefully collapsed onto the towels set up beneath the canopy and tossed his goggles aside in favor of some water. He didn't hold back, he downed the entire thing, then started rooting around for food while Gintoki dried himself off and snapped his wings several times to encourage the water from them.

“Tori zosui or ebi sunomono?”

Gintoki hummed in thought and Hijikata held his breath with a hand on either of the covered bowls.

“Tori zosui.”

Silently letting out the captive air through his nose, Hijikata handed him the bowl and pulled out a water from the cooler as well since he was sitting next to both things.

“You just don't want the cucumbers,” Hijikata accused lightly.

Gintoki sat down with his towel draped over his head. “You could say that.”

“Was this your idea?”

“No. If it were, then there wouldn't be any choices that involve cucumber. Not that I really _mind_ them, it's just that if I did have a choice, I'd choose something different. Parfait based, preferably.”

Hijikata choked on the food he was wolfing down at record speed and swallowed carefully before saying, “No, that's not – _no_. The beach, was the beach thing your idea?”

“Oh! No to that, too. I don't know whose idea it was. I didn't even know you guys could section off a piece of beach like this and make it private for awhile.”

“We've never done it before,” Hijikata conceded. “Never to use for the day, anyway. We've had to because of accidents and things like that.”

“But never to hide winged people from being seen,” Gintoki mused with a chuckle.

“This is a first, yeah.”

Gintoki drank all his water and even in the shade, they were sweating. Hijikata poured more mayonnaise over his food and watched as Gintoki ate his own. He wasn't inhaling it like Hijikata was, but he was consuming it down and it didn't seem like he was going to stop until it was gone. So, maybe Gintoki was just going through a phase with the whole thing. Hijikata didn't know _too much_ about him and so he couldn't say whether or not Gintoki had periods of scarcely eating. There were days Hijikata got so busy working that he forgot to eat and didn't think about it until someone reminded him, so it stood to reason that Gintoki had the same problem sometimes.

In that moment, when it was quiet and both of them were relaxing, Hijikata was tempted to ask. He didn't know if he could and he didn't know if Gintoki would even tell him the truth, but the temptation was definitely there. He shoved food in his mouth to curb the urge and the only real reason he did that was because he didn't want to completely ruin this. If he asked and Gintoki got defensive, he'd likely just get up and avoid Hijikata for the rest of the day. Hijikata was good at weighing his options and he finally decided that observing for awhile longer would serve him better than asking Gintoki questions out of nowhere.

Hijikata finished off his bowl first and he was still hungry, so he started munching on melon pan that he topped with a dollop of mayonnaise. He couldn't remember a time he'd been so hungry so frequently in one day, but he really wasn't worried about it. Wan's explanation of higher metabolisms made perfect sense and he wasn't going to argue with someone that was basically telling him he could eat as much mayonnaise as he wanted without repercussions.

“Want something else?” Hijikata asked when Gintoki set his empty bowl aside.

“Another water.”

Hijikata fished out a cold one from the bottom of the cooler and handed it off. Gintoki drank deeply, then set about wiping his hands clean before he found the sunscreen and applied it generously. The towel stayed on Gintoki's head and Hijikata could only assume it was a method to help keep himself more cooled off. Hijikata diverted his attention elsewhere and utterly annihilated the melon pan, it didn't even stand a chance against him. He was just about to reach for another water when the sunscreen landed in his lap and Gintoki plopped down in front of him.

“I can't reach,” he said over his shoulder and pointed to his back.

“I can see that.”

He _could_ , too, because there were spots of sunscreen that weren't rubbed in, like Gintoki had put his hand behind him and just sort of slapped it on in the hopes of flinging sunscreen where it needed to go. Hijikata wiped the mayonnaise off his fingers and took up the sunscreen to finish what Gintoki had messily started. He put some in his palm and dipped his fingers in it to outline the area Gintoki had missed. He got the base of both wings on either side of them and filled in all the holes left behind, especially the big spot right between Gintoki's wings.

“Done.”

“Thanks,” Gintoki responded and lurched to his feet.

Hijikata nodded and wiped off his hands again so he could get the water he wanted. He picked one out of the cooler and was just about to twist off the top when a huge beachball whacked it right out of his grip.

“Sorry!” Kagura called and ran up to him looking frantic. “I'm so sorry, mayora! I was aiming for your face!”

Gintoki burst out laughing and retrieved the ball to hand it to her. “Here, try again.”

“No!” Hijikata shouted and rolled to his feet. “You tried and failed, so give up!”

“The Yorozuya never quit!” Kagura yelled and took aim.

Hijikata threw Gintoki in front of him and bumped into something squishy as he backed out from underneath the canopy. Panic made Hijikata jump to the side, but when he turned around, it was only Yamazaki staring back at him.

“We have more than one beachball,” Yamazaki explained and held the ball out to him.

The amount of people that were gathering around the canopy told Hijikata that this wasn't going to be a quick battle.

-o-O-o-

Hours later, it was time to go.

The sun was low in the sky and they'd just finished packing all their stuff away. Morale was good and as far as injuries went, there was only one partial black eye from the beachball war, but Oka would survive. Hijikata had gotten more than enough sun and his body was weighted like he'd been on patrol nonstop all day. He didn't know how the car arrangements had been assigned, but he wasn't leaving with the same people he'd arrived with.

There they were, all crammed up in the hot car and it was noisy with banter. Yamazaki was ready to drive them, Hijikata was in the custom built passenger seat, and Gintoki was between Shinpachi and Kagura in the back. It was really a tight fit, but with both kids maneuvered in front of Gintoki's wings to allow them to stretch out, the three of them made it work. Hijikata figured that whole movies and series could be made about the Yorozuya accomplishing things that probably shouldn't be possible.

“I can't see through the back,” Yamazaki said.

“Use the rearview mirror,” Gintoki replied.

“I'm trying! Your wings are in the way!”

“Kagura, be his eyes.”

“No, not her! She'll back me up into something or someone on purpose!”

“I would not!” Kagura snapped, affronted.

Hijikata rubbed his face. “Could we just get moving already? It's too hot to just sit here.”

“I can't feel any air!” Kagura complained. “Your wings are blocking all the cold air! Men are so greedy!”

“It's not greed! My wings just have nowhere else to go!”

Shinpachi pushed a button. “I'll roll down a window.”

“Don't do that!” Yamazaki cried. “You'll let all the cold air out!”

“There is no cold air!” Kagura rejoined.

“Close the window,” Gintoki said and reached across Shinpachi to move it back up.

“No, Ka-chan's right, there's no cold air!”

“There will be if you keep the window closed and give it time!”

“I still can't see!” Yamazaki yelled over the noise.

Gintoki wriggled as he continued to fight Shinpachi for window control. “I'm doing the best I can!”

Hijikata twisted in his seat and said, “I don't see anything behind you, go ahead and back up.”

“And turn the air up higher!” Kagura suggested and kicked the back of Hijikata's seat.

“It's up as high as it'll go!”

“Oh, no,” Gintoki yelped and suddenly sat up straighter, his eyes wide. “No, no, no, no, no, n – _achoo!_ ”

A whole mass of white feathers exploded out into the cab. They were everywhere, got on everything, nothing was safe. Then, laughter quickly followed: Gintoki, his kids, even Yamazaki.

Hijikata had a hand over his mouth – he might have been laughing, too.

**To Be Continued**

 


	22. What Goes Up Must Come Down ((Gravity, You Know))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: Feathers ahead.

[Art By: Netamashii](http://netamashii.tumblr.com/)

Hijikata woke up to the sound of his alarm and he _groaned_.

“Told ya it'd hurt more today,” Gintoki said, his voice gravely and sleep roughened.

“I never disagreed with you.”

Hijikata kept his eyes closed and blindly turned his alarm off, but even that movement was unkind. Most of his body was fine, but his chest and parts of his back were botched. Gintoki's wing was draped heavily over him and Hijikata couldn't yet be bothered to move it. He rubbed his chest with a hand and breathed deeply to get used to the ache. He'd woken up several times throughout the night, never for long, and he fell asleep quickly each time, but now it was making sense what had woken him so often. Every shift of his body, every movement of his muscles, it all coalesced into a silent plea of _stop moving_.

Being this sore on the day of a raid really wasn't in his best interests and it certainly wasn't a wise decision, either. However, he could console himself a little bit because it was just him feeling this way and everyone else on the raid would not only be in excellent health, but they'd be the ones doing all the moving around. Hijikata just had to sit in the car, supervise, and give direction – that was hardly what he'd classify as strenuous activity.

“Okay, I'm gettin' up now.”

A breeze hit the door and made it rattle softly.

Birds chirped merrily outside.

Hijikata kept rubbing his chest to encourage the soreness to abate.

Gintoki's opposite wing rustled against the floor as he subtly shifted his weight on the futon.

Close to five minutes later, Gintoki spoke, “Look at you go, you're really movin'.”

“Shut up! I'm buildin' up to it!”

“So agile, such grace, you move like the wind.”

Hijikata punched a wing out and railed Gintoki in the side. “How's that for agility and gracefulness?”

“Well aimed,” Gintoki responded with a cough.

Gintoki pushed up on his arms and his wing lifted off Hijikata's body for a grand total of one second before it came flapping back down. Hijikata got smothered and he punched his wing out again to try and get Gintoki back.

“Stop it, stop it!” Gintoki groused. “I'm getting up!”

“You don't gotta suffocate me with feathers to do that!”

“Obviously I do!”

It took longer than it should have, but Hijikata managed to wriggle his way out from under Gintoki's wing and they were both able to stand. The tenderness remained quite vivid, like it was etched even onto his bones, but now that he was moving, it wasn't as stark. He raised his arms above his head and twisted his torso from side to side, testing himself. It didn't feel _great_ , but overall he felt good, so... whatever, he could deal with this.

“Most of us are gonna be gone today,” Hijikata said and kept stretching.

“I know. You've reminded me in different ways so many times in the last couple days that I couldn't forget in my sleep even if I tried.”

“I don't know how long it'll take.”

“Yet another thing that has been repeated more than necessary.” Gintoki was stretching as well and currently had his wings opened fully behind him. His shoulders were rolled back to allow them to reach further and positioned the way he was, he looked like he took up twice as much space. “If your next words involve asking me whether or not I'll be alright on my own, I'm gonna intentionally wreck something while you're out.”

“Good thing those weren't my next words.”

Gintoki squinted at him searchingly and smirked. “Yes, they were.”

“Those weren't my _exact_ next words,” Hijikata reluctantly amended.

“Now I've gotta hear what those exact words were meant to be.”

“I don't wanna say them anymore.”

“Bastard,” Gintoki muttered humorously. “You nervous about going today?”

Hijikata might have fibbed a bit if anyone else asked him, but since it was Gintoki and not someone part of his faction, he actually considered the question. His faction fed off his energy since he was their leader and so there were some things he couldn't admit to them, but the same rules – and so many other things – didn't apply to Gintoki.

“A little, but only because if something goes wrong, I can't really do much. I can advise the situation and call out orders into a walkie talkie, but ask me to provide backup and the most I can probably do is take off my seatbelt.”

Gintoki snorted, but nodded. “I can understand that. It's good you're going, though. That alone will likely boost morale for the whole thing as opposed to them leaving you behind to do it.”

Hijikata had gone over to his closet and it was there that he stopped to stare blindly inside at his yukata. He almost wanted to turn around and look at Gintoki, but he made an effort not to. He forgot sometimes that Gintoki had fought in a war... of course Gintoki would understand what a raid was like and what all it entailed. Hell, Gintoki would know more than anyone why Hijikata was frustrated by his limitations and why he wanted to go despite only being able to sit in the car and direct from afar.

Shaking his wings out, Hijikata selected his modified uniform and when he moved back, he stole a quick glance at Gintoki simply because he couldn't help it. He felt foolish, maybe even a little ashamed, because with the wings and the situation, he'd somehow developed a blindspot for Gintoki himself. Gintoki had been right there with him from the start and Hijikata had been ignorant enough to fall for the goofball routine.

Looking at things like that completely changed Hijikata's perspective and some of Gintoki's behaviors began to make sense. Not all of them, but a few, and Hijikata felt like a heel for not taking notice before. Then, he considered how Gintoki had been acting toward _him_ and that made Hijikata feel worse. He thought about how Gintoki had stood with Hijikata in the rain after he'd blown off some steam, how he'd been a presence that told Hijikata that he wasn't alone, how he'd called the Shinsengumi over for a surprise dinner while Hijikata had still been adjusting, and how just last night Gintoki had effortlessly eased Hijikata into the sensation of someone else touching his wings so much.

Gintoki had been doing so many things from the start that hadn't even crossed Hijikata's mind to consider. Hijikata was _oblivious_ and that hurt doubly because he'd previously prided himself in being perceptive when it came to his faction and work. Yet Gintoki, someone that was adept at looking out for others – Hijikata couldn't begin to guess how deeply that was ingrained in him from the war – could make the transition so subtle that Hijikata hadn't even noticed. Oh, how that pissed him off and it wasn't Gintoki he was irritated with, it was himself.

Not so long ago, Hijikata could remember thinking that he couldn't talk to Gintoki because he was still the Shiroyasha.

It was sheer oversight that Hijikata hadn't considered that Gintoki was the perfect person to talk to for exactly that reason.

“All of you get up too damn early,” Gintoki said around a yawn.

“You can go back to sleep after I leave,” Hijikata replied and struggled his way out of his yukata while his mind continued to run away with him. “You could get back to bed now if you want, I won't be here much longer.”

“I might in a bit. You want help with that?”

Hijikata was holding up his uniform vest and nodded an affirmation. “Yeah, I don't wanna accidentally tear it the day of the raid. Starting the morning with a mishap like that would be a bad omen.”

“I can't disagree with that one. Gimme the vest and bring your wing down a little more.”

Hijikata relinquished the vest and did as he was told with his wing. He let Gintoki maneuver his wing into the slit of the vest and he carefully pushed it up until it was sitting at the base of the wing itself. Under Gintoki's guidance, Hijikata's second wing was pulled inward and with a bit of contortion coupled with a slight pinch, that wing was situated into the open slit. It was a tight fit despite this uniform being a whole size bigger than he usually wore and by the time he'd gotten his arms in, it was undeniably snug on him. His whole body seemed to have a heartbeat of its own because of his stiffness, but it had become invigorating by now and it helped wake him up more.

“Can you breathe okay?” Gintoki asked skeptically after Hijikata closed the front.

“Yeah, it just needs broken in.”

“Won't you get hot?”

“There's no way to avoid the heat right now.”

“No, I mean you'll be stuck in a car wearing a uniform. Are you just gonna leave the car on to use the air conditioner or what?”

“Maybe, maybe not, we're taking that one as it comes. As you can see, I've only got the vest on and I'll have my jacket with me, but I'm not gonna wear it.”

Gintoki raised a brow and laughed a little. “So is everyone attending the raid bare armed or is it just you?”

“Just me since I shouldn't be seen by anyone.”

“Then why wear the vest at all?”

“Solidarity and to assert my rank.”

“You look like you're part of a gang wearing just the vest, all you need is some kinda logo on the back.”

“If you're thinking of making one for me, I'm gonna have to stop you right there.”

“I wouldn't dare. If anything, it'd just be a shit stain.”

Hijikata rubbed a hand over his face. “And this is the part where I leave this conversation and pretend it never happened. Breakfast will be in soon and I know you're expecting this, so I'm gonna say it just to get it over with.” Gintoki's eyes had gone deadfish and Hijikata draped his jacket over his shoulder. “Stay outta trouble.”

The last thing Gintoki did before Hijikata left was give him a mocking salute.

-o-O-o-

Feet heavy, Hijikata walked down the hall and entered his room with a measured slowness. He closed the door behind him and only when he leaned back against it did he let out a full body sigh.

Gintoki stared at him from his futon, asking dubiously, “How'd it go?”

Closing his eyes, Hijikata tilted his head back until it thunked against the door and he slowly... smirked.

“ _Good_.”

“Are you sure? You don't seem sure.”

“No, er, I mean, yeah, I'm sure.” He opened his eyes and kicked off the door so he could being an idle pacing. “It went exactly how it was supposed to and there were no complications.”

“So being in the car wasn't a problem?”

“It wasn't ideal, but it worked.”

“How many cigarettes did you get through having to sit there?”

Hijikata chuckled, digressing, “Too many, my throat hurts.”

“Yeah, your voice sounds a little scratchy. You get anything good in the siege?”

“All kinds of things, some of which I've never even heard of.”

“Like?”

There was a pause.

In his line of work, Hijikata knew better than to give away any classified information and so he hesitated.

It took only a look at Gintoki and his steady red eyes before that hesitation was broken.

“Well, first of all,” Hijikata kept pacing as the residual energy burned through him, “the whole place was sectioned into least harmful agents to most harmful. On the least harmful side there were these tiny canisters of powder that the user could shoot and get a good high off of. From what we can tell, with that one, all it does is make the users a little loopy for awhile and nothing dangerous happens, you following me?”

“Perfectly.”

“On the other side, they had combinations of stuff so harmful that all the warning labels had cardiovascular collapse as a potential side effect. One grouping of them even said for Amanto use only because it'll kill humans upon contact. Once we had the area evacuated and secured, I was able to go out and investigate it all thoroughly myself. We brought so much evidence back that we could barely fit it all into the cars.”

Gintoki gave a low whistle. “Talk about a haul. Were you able to arrest anyone?”

“Some,” Hijikata replied and went to his desk to begin preparing for the amount of paperwork he'd have coming his way. “We got most of the perps at the site and we have leads for the ones that were out, but we weren't able to snag the ringleader.”

“Are they human or Amanto?”

“Amanto, but they have both humans and Amanto as sellers and traffickers.”

“Sounds big.”

“T'ch – understatement! It's _huge_! It'll probably take me a whole week just to get through all the paperwork for it.”

“I've never seen someone get so excited over paperwork.”

“It means the streets of Edo are a little bit safer, how can that not be exciting?” Gintoki chuckled and Hijikata quickly looked him over. He had no idea what Gintoki had been up to, but he didn't seem to be in any way discontent. He was just sitting on his futon with his legs folded so his feet were touching toes to toes and there weren't nearly as many white feathers around as Hijikata had predicted there would be. “What'd you do with your day?”

“Nothing nearly as productive as you.”

“You look like you never changed out of your pajamas.”

“I did so! The kids came over for awhile and we spent most of our time in the dojo.”

It was then Hijikata noticed that Gintoki's hair was slightly shiny because it was in the process of drying. Pulling out his phone, he checked the time and cursed, he'd had no idea it had already gotten to be so late.

“I missed shower time.”

“Something tells me there'll be another one tomorrow.”

“That's true, but we have to pree –” Hijikata's phone rang loudly and he whipped it open to answer it. He had a short conversation with Kondo and when he hung up, he'd collected all the papers he needed and was heading for the door. “We have to do a quick debriefing before we can be done for the day, it shouldn't take long.”

“No need to rush on my account,” Gintoki replied spread himself out on his futon.

The revelation Hijikata had had that morning was still cycling through his head and it had stuck with him all day. He was still thinking about it when he entered the specified conference room, but then work took over and he had to push it aside for now.

However, he did have an idea of what he wanted to do tomorrow.

-o-O-o-

Too bad for Hijikata, not everything went according to plan. He'd _planned_ on waking Gintoki up early and whisking away to the pond for awhile, but work had disrupted that agenda and they were going in the late afternoon instead. When Hijikata had returned to his room the night before, Gintoki had already been asleep. Hijikata had had to fumble his way through the dark and get his yukata and toiletries so he could go to the bathroom to get ready for the night. It had taken him awhile to get himself out of his vest and at the time, he'd actually wished for a second pair of hands to help him because that thing had been way too tight. He'd managed, though, and then he'd crawled onto his futon under Gintoki's wing and promptly fallen asleep.

“You could try sitting up front,” Hijikata said as they headed to the car together. “Try out the new seat for yourself.”

“You won't need me to hold your wing?”

“Your wings are bigger, so you should be able to sit and use your own wing to hold mine back for me.”

Hijikata put their belongings in the trunk and Gintoki went to sit in the passenger side. Gintoki had spent most of the day with Sougo, apparently, and the suggestion of the pond had been well received. It was something Hijikata honestly felt a little bad about. He'd known Gintoki had been wanting to go to the pond, but Hijikata had turned him down so many times that he'd stopped asking. In Hijikata's defense, he had his reasons for saying no – Gintoki jumping out of trees being one of them – but he found he couldn't deny Gintoki any longer. It must have cost Gintoki something just to ask to go as many times as he had and there was no way Hijikata could feel right about shutting him down after so many rejections.

It really just went to show that Hijikata still had no clue how to handle Gintoki.

“Nope! Not working! My wings are too big, I can't crush this one against the door!”

Gintoki got out and crawled into the back where he was able to spread himself more. He held onto Hijikata's wing after he got in and the drive to the pond was comfortable, especially because of the air conditioning.

When they were almost there, Hijikata asked, “You remembered sunscreen, didn't you?”

Gintoki froze and his eyes widened. “Oh.”

“I packed some.”

“I knew that,” Gintoki quipped and visibly relaxed.

“T'ch – I can't believe you forgot. How many times do you gotta burn before you remember something like that?”

“I didn't burn at the beach!”

“You did a little.”

Gintoki frowned and looked down at his arms. “I did? Where?”

“Nose.”

“I thought it felt a little stiff,” Gintoki mumbled and crossed his eyes as he poked his nose. “It's not a bad burn.”

“No, but you can still see it pretty well, even after a couple days.”

“Of course you can. Any color stands out on my skin, you've seen what I look like when I bruise.”

“Yeah... about that, you heal really fast.”

“It's a gift.”

“No, really, all those bruises should've still been visible at the beach, but there wasn't any trace of them.”

“Honestly I'm surprised they were still there by the next chapter.”

“...what?”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Hijikata parked and Gintoki nearly fell out of the car in his attempt to get through the door. Pushing a button, Hijikata popped the trunk and was surprised to see Gintoki struggling out of his yukata.

“You're wearing your swimsuit?”

“Kids didn't take it back after the beach, so I figured I might as well keep using it. There's no use in getting my clothes wet if I have a suit, either.”

“I suppose not, but here, take the sunscreen.”

Hijikata tossed it to him and he set out their blankets and towels so they were ready while Gintoki lathered himself up. When prompted, Hijikata took care of Gintoki's back and after that, there was no stopping him.

Gintoki took off for the water and jumped in, going completely under after an strange dive. His wings burst from the surface first and Hijikata could see as he got closer that he was scrubbing his fingers through his hair underwater. When he stood up fully, he flapped his wings out... just like a bird in a bath would do. Hijikata chortled to himself and stepped into the water to find it felt near the same temperature he took a shower in. It was incredible how warm the water naturally was and that just went to show how hot it had been for so many days in a row.

Hijikata did his usual routine of walking around and he had to admit, he was definitely walking better. He wasn't anywhere near normal, but he could predict the twitches of his wings with more accuracy and could compensate them before he was sent tumbling in most cases. He was still sore from the beach, too, but he felt stronger for it and that only heightened his resolve. It was nice to be able to zone out and take a breather with someone that required no conversation for them to still interact and be in each other's space. Hijikata actually valued such a quality and he had precious few relationships where it applied – precious few, truthfully.

“What made you want to come here today?” Gintoki asked awhile later.

He was sitting in the shallows with the water up to the middle of his torso and his wings were arched outward, basking. He'd done a lot of splashing around, but since Hijikata had been paying more attention this time, he'd realized that Gintoki really never actually _swam_. He doggy paddled, he kicked off the bottom, he flapped his wings for buoyancy, he flailed his limbs to stay afloat, but he never treaded water or did any coordinated swimming.

He also noticed Gintoki glancing at the trees from time to time, but he never said anything about it.

“I think it helps,” Hijikata answered truthfully and continued walking with the water at his waist. “And I like being able to walk without having to worry about hitting the floor or running into a wall. I did that this morning and my elbow is probably gonna be blue tomorrow.”

“The wall or the floor?”

“The wall.”

“That's bound to happen, I guess. At least until the good doctor figures out what the deal is.”

“Which I don't know if he can or not, so this is all I've got. I like the break, too.” At Gintoki's questioning look, Hijikata elaborated, “I enjoy my job and being part of it keeps me busy. It can be stressful at times, but more often it's routine and I like that about it. Before all this,” he flapped his wings once in emphasis, “I had days where I'd take some time for myself. It was mostly Kondo's idea and we'd go out for dinner or something along those lines. Every once in awhile I'd go for a drink by myself after my shift was over to unwind. I've never been a big fan of having a day off pushed on me and I do like my work a lot, I've never seen the point in taking an unnecessary day to myself just _because_. If there's a mayonnaise convention in town, okay, yeah, gimme the day off, but mostly, if I want a day off, I'll take one. Simple.”

“So, you wanted to come here because you wanted a break?”

“In a way, yeah. It gives me a chance to distance myself from things enough to see them differently and think them over thoroughly. All while doing something that's helping me get better at walking, too.”

“I think there's a saying about that. Two birds, one stone.”

Hijikata snorted. “That's fitting.”

“Though, you know that coming here and working to be better for your job isn't _really_ taking a break, right?” Gintoki folded his hands together and absently pinched water up between them in a little spurt. “Taking a break usually involves relaxing and –”

“I _am_ relaxed. Don't you raise your brow at me, natural perm! No, I wasn't relaxed when we first started coming here, but you know why and now I kinda like it. Here, that is.”

“Well, whatever works for you.” He shrugged and then asked, “Beach day was pretty much forced on you, did you not enjoy that?”

“I... did. Just maybe not right away with that one. Some things take some warming up to.”

“You did look pretty pissy when you first got there. Kagura had suggested burying you alive and marking your resting place with a bottle of mayo since you were killing some of the fun with your broodiness.”

“I'm sure she did, that sounds like something she'd say. I'm surprised she didn't try.”

“She might've, but something more interesting got in the way.”

Hijikata jerked slightly, but regained his balance quickly, then feigned shock. “More interesting than burying me alive? What could _possibly_ be more interesting than that?”

“Sandcastle war.”

“Makes sense. I still don't know, how _did_ that start?”

“Very unexpectedly and it escalated way too fast.”

“Don't pretend like you didn't help instigate it.”

“I didn't! I was just minding my own business building a mote!”

Hijikata frowned and walked a bit deeper into the water. “A mote? I never saw a mote.”

“Because it got destroyed! It was the first casualty of the whole thing! All I wanted was to dig a mote around the castle and siphon the sea water to fill it! That's it! But no, suddenly it was build the walls higher! Make the castle bigger! Salvage the buckets before they get stolen! And my little mote got trampled, it never stood a chance.”

“Don't tell me you put up such a fight in the battle to avenge it....”

Gintoki laughed softly and shook his head. “No way! By then I just wanted to see your castle crumble!”

“Figures.”

“There was also the added entertainment of watching you and Okita-kun working together. How many times did he shove sand down your suit?”

“Four,” Hijikata said bitterly. “Four times.”

“Aww! I missed one! I'd only counted three.”

“Why would you count something like that?” Hijikata spluttered.

“Sadist.”

Gintoki pushed off the bank and slid further into the water until it hit his collarbones. His wings went under and he seemed to be reclining beneath the surface with his wings either pressed to the bottom or floating at his sides. Hijikata guessed they were shimmying in the mud because a cloud of dirt obscured the outline of the white feathers.

“That shouldn't be an excuse for anything,” Hijikata decided and lifted a hand to look at his wrinkled fingers. “We've been here awhile, you ready to head back?”

“Yeah, we can go.”

“No jumping outta things this time?”

“I've thought about it.”

“I gathered.”

“I've decided to save it for next time.”

Hijikata nodded. “Then enjoy this, because this is the last time we're coming back.”

“Bullshit.” Gintoki grinned, calling Hijikata's bluff. “You – oof –”

Gintoki suddenly disappeared under the water and his right wing burst upward in a flurry. His left one didn't emerge and neither did his head, but a bunch of bubbles made it to the surface. Hijikata was already on his way over when Gintoki's head popped up and he shook his hair out as he quickly moved backward to get higher on the bank.

“What the hell was that?” Hijikata demanded.

“Nothin',” Gintoki said and gave his head another toss to get his bangs out of his face. “Wing just got caught on – I don't know, something. Maybe a root.”

Gintoki's left wing was sitting oddly at his side and Hijikata reached down to feel around in the mud. His fingers touched a thick stick, not a root, and it was jutting out where it had just been forcefully pulled from its hiding place. Because of how deep the hole was, Hijikata could guess that in Gintoki's wriggling, he'd unearthed the stick and hooked his wing in the middle part, trapping it. When he struggled, he must have pushed upward on reflex and yanked the stick from the mud to free himself. Working his hands downward, Hijikata dug and twisted until the other half of the stick was released from the mud. It floated to the surface and it was big enough that he couldn't touch his thumb to any of his other fingers when he wrapped his hand around it. The stick was long, too, and it was both slippery and covered in marks and trails from being picked at by small creatures.

“This is a sign,” Hijikata said and tossed the stick onto the bank. “We talk about trees and you get attacked by a stick.”

“I'll take it as a sign to be done for the day.”

Gintoki got up and Hijikata was left to follow him to the car. He was walking just fine, but his left wing was not quite right. Hijikata picked up one of the towels he'd set out and dried himself off, but his yukata wasn't airing out at all. Gintoki didn't put his clothes back on and instead draped his towel over himself when he was finished.

“You alright over there?”

“Just fine,” Gintoki said and opened the door to spread a blanket out on the seat. “Let's get back, it's almost shower time.”

Hijikata knew he was lying, he could _see_ it. Gintoki's wings were packed in tight against his back, making them as small as possible in an upside down spade shape. That was a huge red flag, Gintoki never did that, his wings were so big he almost needed to keep them spread at all times to keep himself comfortable. He pushed into the car and since he couldn't sit with his wings folded like that, he had to open them some. Hijikata watched him and though there was no sign of pain on his face, his skin seemed to get a little paler when he spread them.

Honestly, Hijikata wanted to roll his eyes. Gintoki was an idiot – if he was hurt, he should just say so, but then... that wasn't Gintoki's way. Hijikata got in the car and let Gintoki gently maneuver his wing around the modified seat to hold it back, but his mind was elsewhere. Sometimes when on the job, Hijikata would downplay his own injuries for various reasons. If he was too injured that continuing would endanger the Shinsengumi and put them at risk because he couldn't keep up, then he'd take himself out of it. He knew his limits and he didn't have a problem being up front about his injuries – the sooner they were handled, the sooner he could get back to serving the Shinsengumi at top performance.

So, it made him wonder why Gintoki had developed the instinct to hide his pain. He started the car and began the drive back without a word, not that Gintoki seemed to be in a chatty mood. Hijikata glanced at him in the mirror and he was looking out the window absently with his injured wing crooked at a strange angle against the back of the seat. Gintoki was looking away from it like ignoring it would make it go away and that only made Hijikata more exasperated with the situation.

Maybe it was the war that had done this to him.

Being the Shiroyasha, being so revered and feared, that had to have affected Gintoki. It would make sense that Gintoki showed no weakness because if he did, then it would impact the rebels negatively. It was possible, given the kind of war it had been, that Gintoki held himself to impossible standards for the sake of his cause. An extreme situation could certainly condition someone into the habits Gintoki indulged in and after so many years, Gintoki was a pro in the art of it.

Hijikata parked the car at the barracks and they both got out to head to Hijikata's room for their things. Showering went by quickly and quietly, but Gintoki did lend a hand to get Hijikata's sodden yukata off of him. Gintoki was slow to dress after the shower and while he tried to make his wing look normal, it still kept trying to fold inward toward his body like a reflex. Hijikata didn't say anything, he continued his own routine like nothing was amiss, but his fingers were _twitching_ when they returned to his room.

“Okay, sit down.” Gintoki shot him a look and Hijikata gestured to Gintoki's futon since it was the closest to them. “Preening is a daily thing, you know that.”

“We didn't do it yesterday.”

“That was a special circumstance and we would've if you hadn't fallen asleep before I got back from my debriefing.”

“We can skip another night.”

“Let me see it,” Hijikata requested and he did his absolute _best_ not to sound too much like a Vice-Commander.

“Not tonight.”

“C'mon, moron! I _know_ it hurts, so lemme see before you hurt yourself more!”

Glaring, Gintoki crossed his arms and Hijikata, out of sheer stubbornness, crossed his as well. They stared at each other and the longer they stared, the more prominent Gintoki's frown became.

“You're not gonna get outta this,” Hijikata warned.

At least a minute ticked by before Gintoki grudgingly went and sat down on his futon with his wings so compacted that the bottom feathers bent against the bedding. Hijikata was having none of his attitude and started the whole thing out by walking over and giving Gintoki's hair a hard ruffling, which was equal parts reprimand and thanks.

Taking the injured wing in hand, he gave it a gentle tug to try and coax it open farther for him. It was slow going and Hijikata was half-sure that it wasn't entirely Gintoki's fault, as in, he wasn't doing it on purpose. Every time it hurt, the wing jerked back inward to try and fold up again and once, on a more violent jerk, Gintoki actually apologized under his breath. As carefully as he could, Hijikata worked Gintoki's wing open by pulling on the far end while keeping a hand on Gintoki's shoulder and he made sure not to grab any part of it too hard.

“Where does it hurt the most?”

“The top,” Gintoki grumbled with subdued reluctance.

“Anywhere specific?”

“No, just,” a lame hand flail, “the... everywhere.”

Hijikata ran his hands over the upper ridge, but had to pause each time the wing twitched before continuing his trek. When his hand reached the junction, right where the wing bent, he knew he'd found the source of the problem. The whole joint was hot and swollen against his palm and the wing shuddered underneath him like it wanted to get out of his hold.

“Feels like you sprained it,” Hijikata said. “I don't think you broke it since you can still move it. Keep it open on your own, I need both hands.” Gintoki nodded and Hijikata put a hand on either side of the joint, then slowly slid them inward. His fingers felt out bone and the muscle surrounding it and through this, he felt no break in the continuity, just a lot of swelling. Gintoki's wing shook, but it didn't close and Hijikata didn't want to push him, so he let go. “Hold on, I need a second.”

Hijikata went over and picked up his phone so he could send a quick text. Returning to Gintoki, he did his preening duty and watched as the feathers fell the floor in numbers. At least two dozen came off of Gintoki's injured wing, but Hijikata didn't think it was because Gintoki had gotten worse, he figured it was due to the stress of being hurt. He finished that wing and tapped Gintoki's shoulder to let him know he didn't have to hold it out anymore. Gintoki sighed and pulled the wing in while Hijikata moved onto the second one to filter his fingers through it. Less feathers had come out by the time he was finished and that pretty much confirmed his theory.

“All done.”

Gintoki lurched forward onto his knees to take the pressure off his wing and then pushed with his hands on the futon to stand. Hijikata took his place and stretched his wings open to a comfortable position. Gintoki was a lot less squirmy when he could keep his wings where he wanted them, so he was as steady a presence behind Hijikata as he'd been the last time he'd done this. His hands moved with a sure purpose and the moment Hijikata's wings twitched the first time, a handful of feathers, both black and white, were dropped over his head.

“We need to work on your methods of distraction,” Hijikata said and blew air on the feathers that fell in front of his face.

“What would you prefer?” Gintoki pinched the area where Hijikata's neck met his shoulder and held on until Hijikata flinched. “Did that do it for you?”

“Sure.”

“Really?”

“I don't wanna know what you'll do if I say no....”

Gintoki huffed and his hands ran over each of Hijikata's wings in turn. By the time he finished, Hijikata was relaxed and his wings were behaving for the most part. He got up and made it about five steps to his desk when the door slid open.

“Knocking!” Hijikata snapped at Yamazaki. “I've told you about the _knocking!_ ”

“You put ASAP! I figured it was an issue of time!”

Hijikata went to him, grabbed the item he was carrying, spent a long couple seconds glaring at him, then closed the door when Yamazaki wisely retreated. Gintoki was already back on his futon and he was sitting leaned far enough forward that his wings weren't pressed to the floor.

“Hold still.” Gintoki didn't move as Hijikata stepped up beside him and lightly pressed the bundle of ice to the swollen joint. At the moment of contact, though, Gintoki jerked and his head whipped to the side to see what Hijikata was doing. “It's okay,” he held the pack well into Gintoki's sight, “it's just some ice.”

Nodding, Gintoki's wing moved back and Hijikata was able to hold onto it and press the ice to the feathers once more. Gintoki was looking down at a Jump he'd opened up and where he'd gotten it, Hijikata didn't know.

“You don't have to hold it there.”

“You won't do it yourself and just so you know, I'm calling Wan in the morning.”

“I don't think that's really necessary.”

“I'm tempted to call him now to see if he thinks it'd be okay for you to take some painkillers.”

“That's also not necessary.”

“It'll take care of the swelling.”

“You don't know that.”

Hijikata pressed his knee into Gintoki's back in a soft nudge. “Did you miss the part where I just said that I'm tempted to call him now for exactly that reason?”

“I wouldn't bother him this late.”

“I doubt he'd mind.” Hijikata took a deep breath that would have come out as a sigh, but instead caught in his throat and he almost gagged. “What in the hell is that smell?”

“What smell?”

“I've caught whiffs of it before... where is it?”

“What smell?” Gintoki repeated louder.

“You can't smell it? It smells like a dead animal.”

Hijikata did his best to get the ice to stay balanced on Gintoki's wing, then took a step back. The smell had settled in his nasal canal and now that he'd scented it, it wasn't leaving him alone. He looked around and Gintoki watched him, one brow raised high. His wing was motionless with the ice bag draped precariously over the bent middle ridge, it looked like it might fall if he so much as decided to sigh.

After only a moment of sniffing around, Hijikata found the source of the stench.

“Oh! Gross!” Hijikata plugged his nose with one hand and picked up the boots by their backs with the other. “These reek! They're staying outside on the porch until they've been thoroughly washed!”

He went to the porch door and slid it open with a foot so he could place the boots out there. His hand felt filthy where he'd touched the vile things and he couldn't believe they'd been in his room! They'd been on the other side of Gintoki's futon, so he'd never really been near enough to them to smell them, he'd only ever caught small wafts of their foul fetor.

“I can hear you laughing!” Hijikata snapped and marched over to where Gintoki had his mouth covered. The ice had fallen from his wing and Hijikata bent to pick it up, then pushed on Gintoki's back. “Down. Go down.”

He pushed until Gintoki flopped onto his stomach and Hijikata waited until he'd settled before putting the ice pack back into place. Hijikata left him like that, but it wasn't for long. All he did was finish some things at his desk, smoke a quick cigarette, and by that time he was ready to get to bed himself. Gintoki was still reading his Jump when Hijikata went over to his futon, but his eyes were drooping.

“I won't be able to sleep with my wing stretched out like usual,” Gintoki said without looking up.

“Is where it's at good?”

“Yeah.” Gintoki's nose wrinkled as he said, “I've had sprains before and none of them felt like this.”

“It might not be a sprain, then.”

“I think it is.”

“Whatever happened to your insistence that there's nothing wrong?” Hijikata asked as he moved his futon close enough to Gintoki's that the two were overlapping.

“I _am_ okay, but if you're gonna persist that something's wrong, then I'm going with a sprain.”

“You're impossible,” Hijikata stated.

He got down on his futon and carefully lifted Gintoki's wing enough to get underneath it. The joint was right over the center of Hijikata's chest and since it was too warm temperature wise to need a blanket, he used that to create a barrier between himself and the ice pack. From his vantage point, he was able to fold the pack over so it got both sides of the joint and he used bracing it against his chest to keep it in place. Gintoki had been staring at him ever since he'd moved the futon, but Hijikata ignored him and soon, Gintoki was moving to put away his Jump. To Hijikata's surprise, he didn't just set it aside, he lifted up the edge of the futon and went to put it with a few other things he had stashed there out of sight.

“What is...” Hijikata reached out to flip the futon over more, “is that _porn_?”

“You didn't have any.”

“H-how... so you just brought some over? From where? Your place?”

“Yeah, thought you could use some.”

“Did it ever occur to you that there was a reason I didn't have anything like that in here?”

Gintoki turned his head so he was facing Hijikata fully with piqued interest. “ _Is_ there a reason?”

“N-no, well, shit! Yes! Are you kiddin'? Can you imagine what Sougo would be like if he found somethin' like that in here?”

“So... the only reason you don't keep porn around is so the eighteen-year-old sadist just down the hall won't find it?”

“Why do you care? What does it matter to you why I don't have _that_ in here?”

“Just curious! Even Pattsuan has some of it, it's not a _bad_ thing.”

“Why does he have some? Why do you even know about it? Did you buy it for him?”

“No, I didn't buy it for him, but he's a growing boy!”

Hijikata covered his face with his hands. “I'm never gonna be able to look at him the same.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you overreact? I can get pretty excited sometimes, but you take it to a whole new level. Mention porn and you just shut right down and flip out.”

“I'm not flipping out,” Hijikata said into his hands.

“So I take it you never look at the stuff?”

Hijikata pulled his hands down. “We're not havin' this discussion!”

“It's just a question! Here, have a look at this!”

“I'm not gonna do that!”

“Just look at it!”

“No!”

Gintoki pushed the thing at Hijikata and his eyes were gleaming with humor, it was written in the little wrinkles winging each eye. “Trust me! Give it a look!”

Gritting his teeth, Hijikata drew his arm across his body and smacked his palm against the cover to convey his displeasure. Gintoki smirked and hid part of his mouth on his pillow as he avidly watched. Hijikata picked up the volume and tried to look at the redhead on the cover with the most neutral expression he could muster – regardless, he was still frowning. With his thumb, he opened it a few pages in and the sound that came out of his throat was something that had only been wrung from him a few times before.

“ _Swans in Space_ ,” Hijikata read incredulously and his eyes flickered over the neatly colored pages.

Gintoki shoved his face into his pillow and let out one loud bellow of a single _ha_. Hijikata thumbed through the rest of the pages and found that the cover jacket slid off to reveal the bright cover of two girls sitting inside a swan shaped ship.

“I...” Hijikata floundered for words, “... _why_?”

“Just in case the eighteen-year-old down the hall decided to do some snooping.”

Hijikata's mouth dropped open and he had words to say, he truly did, but none of them were coming out. It didn't matter, anyway, because Gintoki reached over and gently pushed Hijikata's mouth closed with a finger. Hijikata slapped the hand away and threw the deceitful volume Gintoki's way so he could put it where he wanted. Reaching up, Hijikata fumbled with the lantern until he was able to turn it off and shroud the room in darkness.

“You really thought it was porn,” Gintoki murmured and _giggled_.

“Shut your mouth, permpuff!”

Gintoki froze.

Even in the dark, Hijikata felt it and knew.

“ _Pffftt_! Permpuff?” Gintoki broke out into a laugh and Hijikata's wings fluffed up at his sides, which made the one trapped between him and Gintoki's body wriggle. “ _Permpuff_!”

“Go to _bed_ , you permy bastard.”

“Permy permpuff,” Gintoki cooed.

Gintoki's wing shook with his suppressed mirth and while he was having his moment, Hijikata turned his attention to the ice pack. He moved it aside pressed his palm against the joint to see if it felt any better – he ignored it when the wing initially moved away from him. The joint wasn't as warm, but from what he could tell, the swelling hadn't gone down any just yet. He was sure the wing was above Gintoki's heart since it was above Hijikata's, so elevation wasn't going to be an issue for the night and he deemed all this the most he could do.

Not long after putting the ice pack back into place, Gintoki had settled and Hijikata was soon able to sleep.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata was having a productive morning and he was in a good mood because of it. He'd called Wan and the doctor would be coming over later in the afternoon to look at Gintoki's wing and give them a checkup. Wan also had the blood results and said there was nothing out of the ordinary, but he wanted to show them the paperwork anyway. Kondo had to go out early because of a disturbance in the field, so Hijikata had taken over supervising all the many things they'd confiscated during the raid. He and Gintoki had had breakfast together and Gintoki had eaten at least half of his – the unhealthy half, in Hijikata's opinion, but half nonetheless.

So, yeah, he was having a good day. He didn't know what Gintoki was currently doing, but he wasn't worried about it. The swelling in Gintoki's wing had gone down considerably overnight, but his movements betrayed the discomfiture that was still settled there. That wing remained close to his body while the other stretched out and functioned like normal. The only thing was that Hijikata couldn't tell if Gintoki had slept well or not. He hadn't moved much, he would have woken Hijikata if he had, but the pain could still have gotten in the way of falling asleep. Knowing that Wan was coming over later gave him some piece of mind and his morning shifted into early afternoon in what felt like a blink.

He'd told Yamazaki to bring lunch to his room after he'd been informed that Gintoki was in there. Whether or not Gintoki had left for a bit, he didn't know, and he also didn't know how Gintoki felt being confined. Short of asking, there wasn't a good way for him to discern what Gintoki thought of staying at the barracks and at this point, in light of his many revelations, he was frustrated with himself that he didn't have any idea.

Hijikata walked in on Gintoki sprawled out over the floor where the futons usually were with one wing hunched up over him and his injured one crooked against the floorboards. Hijikata didn't think anything of it at first, if Gintoki was quiet and calm, he really didn't want to mess with that. Given his injury, Hijikata preferred Gintoki staying in one place, but it wasn't like he could order that or anything.

“Is all of this stuff true?”

Hijikata added some papers to his desk and looked up. “Huh?”

Gintoki lowered his hunched wing and held up a familiar file. “This.”

“Where – how did you....”

“I just asked for it.”

“Sougo.”

“I'm not gonna name names.”

He didn't sound angry and when he lowered the folder he just went back to reading or scanning it. Neither of his wings were fluffed up or twitching, there was no sign of agitation, yet Hijikata felt glued to the spot like a bomb was about to go off only he didn't know what the trigger would be.

“So, is it?”

“Yeah.” It wasn't that big of a deal, it was just Hijikata doing his job. There was no reason for him to feel bad about having a possible threat looked into. Still, the sour feeling persisted even as Hijikata sat down at his desk to start on one of the stacks. “You sorta knew that, though.”

“Sorta?” Gintoki derided. “I knew about most of this stuff, it was always easy to tell when Jimmy was tracking us – er, me, I guess.” He flipped a page and kicked his legs up to cross them at the ankle. “But your personal notes, those are new to me.”

And therein was the reason Hijikata hadn't wanted Gintoki to see his own file.

Hijikata wanted to explain, but he really didn't know where to start.

**To Be Continued**

 


	23. Sometimes You Can Fly High Without Leaving the Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens and there's fluff of the feathery kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, Dina!! Hope you enjoy <3

Hijikata was holding his breath.

It'd been ten minutes since he'd walked in on Gintoki reading the file and things still felt awkward to him. Gintoki had yet to really say anything and that was by far worse than all other reactions. Hijikata would understand if Gintoki wanted to throw something, yell at him, demand to be left alone, or any variations of those. As it was, Gintoki had finished going through the file and had moved onto a magazine someone must have given to him because Hijikata hadn't seen it before. It didn't seem like Gintoki minded the silence, but Hijikata definitely did and he didn't know what he could say that would break it.

He hadn't said nice things about Gintoki in that file, he knew that, he'd been the one to write a majority of it. He'd taken Yamazaki's reports and any information he could get on Gintoki, then he'd compiled it all and added his own thoughts into it. There was a record of every stakeout, every surveillance, and every tailing, so Gintoki now knew every instance in which he'd been watched. He also knew all of Hijikata's thoughts and determinations about Gintoki during that time period.

Hijikata could tell himself that the things he'd said weren't _that_ bad and truthfully they weren't, so much of it was routine things... except the parts where his opinion had come out. With all the other people they had files for, Hijikata was detached and only made notes directly relevant to the investigation. With Gintoki, he'd been involved, invested, and it showed within the file. Gintoki had bothered him from the beginning and being so thwarted and stumped by someone Hijikata had thought of as an idiot had been so frustrating... and all those frustrations were apparent in the papers.

He couldn't even defend himself, there was no way he could talk his way out of this or make it seem like the things he'd written weren't as they seemed. He'd thought poorly of Gintoki the second he'd heard about him and fighting him after that had only served in making Hijikata want to know where such a guy had come from and what he was up to. Finding out he'd fought in the war had only made Hijikata all the more suspicious and he was so sure that Gintoki was up to no good. Every time the Shinsengumi was after rebels, Hijikata always expected Gintoki to suddenly appear, but he never did.

Gintoki admitting he was the Shiroyasha... that hadn't made things much better. So, not only was Gintoki a rebel, but he was _the worst one_. Hijikata had unintentionally gathered some information on the Shiroyasha and he'd known rumors had a way of twisting the truth, but some of the things that were surfacing were commendable. It was hard not to respect someone that could accomplish all the things Hijikata had heard about. Finding out he'd been hearing about _Gintoki_ the whole time had made a weird amount of sense considering the things he'd witnessed Gintoki do with his own eyes.

It had also made Hijikata even more suspicious of him.

Hijikata rubbed his right temple and subtly looked at Gintoki again. He still looked completely normal, he even smirked at what he was reading in the magazine, and his legs remained kicked up in the air. The file was just off to the side and just seeing it made Hijikata's stomach sink. He shuffled the papers on his desk around to make some noise and attempt to get things in order so he could start on them for real instead of staring blankly at them.

“Wan will be here in a couple hours.”

“Same room as usual?”

“Yeah.”

Gintoki crossed his legs at the ankle. “Okay.”

Hijikata tapped his nails against his desk and tried to really return to his paperwork, but it wasn't going to happen.

“Are you mad?”

“What about?”

Hijikata frowned. “What do you think?”

“Hm? Oh! This?” He put his pointer finger on the file and Hijikata's brows went down. “No, but I should probably give it back now.”

“I can put it away.”

“That's okay, I wanna go out that way anyway.”

Gintoki left with a wave over his crooked wing and Hijikata put a hand over his face.

-o-O-o-

“He must've lost track of time...” Hijikata trailed.

Wan had finished unpacking his bag and replied, “It happens, it happens.”

“I told him when to be in here, I know I did.”

“If you know where he's at, you could go get him if you wanted.”

“Yeah, as long as you don't mind.”

“I don't, go ahead.”

Hijikata's wings had fluffed close to his body and he excused himself with a mumbled apology. It felt disrespectful to leave a medical professional waiting and Gintoki not appearing made him nervous. Gintoki having read that file had left Hijikata on edge and for the past two hours, he hadn't been able to sit still. He'd gotten some work done, but he'd had to get up and pace around the room as he read the reports to familiarize himself with them. His wings had thrown him off balance multiple times and it had pissed him off every time it happened.

Hijikata looked all over, but he didn't see Gintoki in the usual places. He even felt the TV to see if it was still warm, like it had recently been turned off, but it was so hot out that it was difficult to tell. He felt stupid for doing it afterward and he checked a couple more random places before returning to the chosen conference room that was still void of Gintoki.

“Couldn't find him?”

“No and I don't know where else he could be.”

“I can get started with you while we wait.”

“Let's do that.”

Wan began his routine and Hijikata held still from him even though he wanted to fidget. They talked a little as Wan did his inspection and Hijikata described in full detail what had happened to Gintoki's wing. The physical didn't take too long and Wan was very thorough with everything, including small things like taking Hijikata's temperature. He recorded everything, all his notes and numbers, on very official looking papers that had Hijikata's name neatly written at the top. He wrote a lot in his notebook, too, and it was comforting to Hijikata that Wan left it open and in plain sight like he had nothing to hide.

“You still feeling okay?”

“Same as last time.” With the exception of the gnawing guilt in his gut and the soreness that was finally going away. “Everything is normal except the wings and the walking trouble.”

“I have an idea on that! I can't say if it'll help or not, but it's worth a try, if you're willing.” Hijikata took in a breath to reply when the door opened and Wan greeted, “Hello, hello! We were wondering where you'd gotten off to!”

“I'm here now,” Gintoki replied and took a seat.

“I'm glad I was called, can you stretch your wing out?”

Gintoki nodded and opened his wings wide, but his wounded one was slightly crooked and didn't stretch as far. Wan took his time walking around Gintoki and every time he touched the feathers, Gintoki twitched away. Hijikata remembered what Wan had said about Gintoki flinching and not wanting to be touched. Watching them like this, it certainly seemed plausible and Hijikata wanted to work on that... or at least help with it somehow.

“Does it hurt?” Wan asked.

“Not really.”

“Does that mean it hurts a little? More than a little?”

“It's just stiff.”

“Are you sure?”

Gintoki gave Wan a bored look. “I'm sure.”

Wan spent a long time inspecting Gintoki and while Hijikata sat quietly off to the side, he noticed that Gintoki didn't glance his way once. That wasn't a big deal and it wasn't what Hijikata would call abnormal, but he was noticing it now and he wasn't liking it. Gintoki got reprimanded for chewing on the thermometer again and Gintoki glared at Wan when his back was turned.

“Let me see that muscle in your front.”

Gintoki moved his yukata aside and Wan wasn't shy about taking a hands-on approach. He touched Gintoki's chest and prodded his fingers all around to map out the muscle he was seeing. Gintoki flexed when he was asked to do so and Wan openly admired the outline of the new muscle, but Gintoki wasn't falling for it. Open flattery wasn't something that was ever going to work on someone like Gintoki. As the exam dragged on, Gintoki still never looked over at Hijikata, but he did yawn and it seemed genuine instead of fake. That pretty much confirmed that Gintoki hadn't gotten any solid sleep last night.

“Your feathers look very good, healthy and sleek. I can tell you've been preening! You both have such unique striation patterns on your feathers, I can't stop looking at them!”

“You're welcome to take more,” Gintoki said.

“I think I will, thank you!”

“You figured out what's wrong with my wing yet?”

“Yes, yes! I'll give you a little heating pad,” Wan decided and pulled what appeared to be an ice pack out of his bag. “It does appear to be a sprain. The muscle is swollen, but not torn. To use this, all you have to do is shake it to activate the heat and it'll stay warm for twenty minutes at a time. It cools off afterward and I suggest you leave it on when it does because it'll help the muscle heal faster.”

Gintoki took the pack and turned it over in his hand. “How long will it take to heal all the way?”

“It's a minor sprain, you only put a little strain on the ligaments there and if you don't do anything to exacerbate it, you'll only be afflicted for a few days.”

“Good to know, thanks. That all you need me for?”

“Yes, you're free to go.”

“Thanks, doc.”

Hijikata watched Gintoki go and the uncomfortable feeling lingered even after he'd gone. He was tempted to follow and resolve things with Gintoki right then and there, but Wan's next words kept him in place.

“I've got those blood work results.”

“Good, I'd like to see.”

Wan grinned and his spectacles glinted as he handed Hijikata the stack of papers. “Your blood cell counts are the same as the average man and I was expecting that. I was just excited to get the results because, see, birds have red blood cells, but their bones are hollow and so they don't have all the bone marrow people have. By hollow, I mean filled with fibers to give them strength, don't think bird bones are made of nothing. Birds still have bone marrow, just not as much, I was curious about what the change in distribution of bone marrow might do to you and Sakata-san.”

“And what you're saying is that it's not doing anything?”

“Yes, which is good because there aren't any complications over it. I still find it fascinating.”

Hijikata flipped through a few pages to review the results, asking, “My numbers are good?”

“Well within the range of normal, you're very healthy.”

“And him?”

“Mostly normal.”

“Expand on the mostly part.”

“I'm not concerned just yet. What I noticed looking at his results was low triglycerides, but they weren't at a dangerous level.”

Hijikata made an effort not to shift his weight where he sat. “I can hear a silent _yet_ at the end of that.”

“They weren't alarmingly low, but if this continues then they'll just keep going lower.”

“Low triglycerides are because of what?”

“There are various reasons. In this case, I'm positive it's because of malnutrition and not having enough fats in his diet. You may not know the answer to this, but has he suffered from malnutrition before?”

“I have no idea. Is that relevant?”

“Not exactly, but history like that can be helpful with things like this.”

“Did he lose more weight?”

“Yes, three pounds.”

Hijikata studied Wan's face for a moment, commenting, “You don't seem worried.”

“Well, it's very strange. As far as health goes, he's in great condition with the triglycerides aside. The weight loss has slowed and if I were to guess, I'd say it'll stop soon.”

“Why?”

“I'm beginning to think the weight loss is because of the wings.”

“But with him losing so many feathers... how can the weight loss not have something to do with the wings?”

“Sorry, sorry! Let me rephrase! Maybe this will help.” Wan opened his bag and pulled out a thick binder. He opened it and Hijikata could tell that it was self-made, but it was all very neat and tidy. There were labels and tabs sticking out everywhere and the whole organizational system was obviously something only Wan would be able to understand. “Look here, see these two birds?”

Hijikata stared down at the pages before him that had a separate bird on each sheet. There was a large one with talons on the left page and on the right was a smaller bird with a narrow pointed beak.

“What am I supposed to be seeing?”

“Do you see how different they are?”

“Yeah.”

“Both of them are birds of prey. You wouldn't think so just by looking at them, but they're actually part of the same group. So, what I think is happening is that both of you are birds of prey, but you're different types. Your body is having an easier time adjusting than his, so he has to go through more of a transition.”

“More of a transition... that really doesn't sound good. Or healthy, for that matter.”

“I would agree, except that he _is_ healthy, I've checked myself. Your wings, they're smaller than his, they're more proportional to your body size.” Wan walked around and touched Hijikata's left wing only to have it flinch from his grasp. “His wings are bigger, so it's possible his body is taking longer to adjust to them.”

“Okay... I'll play along with that for a second. How could that not be related to the feather loss?”

“I don't know if they're unrelated or not, but it seems to me that he doesn't notice the weight loss because his body is adjusting in a natural way. I don't see any signs of distress and I think that once his body is finished adjusting, things will go back to normal for him. He's not in pain, is he?”

“Not that he has said.” And not that Hijikata would expect Gintoki to speak up about it. “Why is he suddenly going through this adjusting phase? Why didn't it happen sooner?”

Wan took his spectacles off and started cleaning them with a little cloth he pulled out of his pocket. “Have you ever caught a cold before?”

“Of course.”

“It's like that. The wings are the cold, let's say. Before you actually get sick, you get tired, you get a sore throat, you sneeze more, you begin to ache sometimes. Point is, you know when you're getting sick, right?”

“Most times.”

“I think things have been like that for him. He hasn't been feeling right, he hasn't been saying so, and for awhile he has silently been dealing with a minor cold. Is that making sense?”

Hijikata thought back to all the clogged toilets and felt even worse that Gintoki had been some form of sick without anyone noticing.

“It is.”

“He might not have thought anything of it. Any discomfort he could've just blamed on his wings and not thought to say anything.”

“That's possible, I can see him doing that.”

“So,” Wan put his glasses back on, “that's my theory. We'll continue to keep an eye on him, but if I'm right, then I think he'll be feeling back to his old self very soon.”

“His old self with wings, you mean.”

Wan laughed. “Yes, precisely. Now, I have something you might consider trying.”

“For what? Him or...?”

“No, for you, but you might want his help.”

“With what?”

“Your wings still give you problems. You've come a long way with them and you walk a lot better than before –”

“So you really think going to the pond is helping?”

“Yes, I believe I said as much. Having given you a full checkup by now, I can still see nothing wrong with you. The next step would be a scan and I still want to do that, but for now, I have to make my best guess.”

“Which is?”

“You may have pinched a nerve.”

Hijikata nodded and drummed his fingers against his thigh, saying, “I can deal with something like that, just tell me what I need to do.”

“I have a compression for you. It's kind of like what I gave Sakata-san, but this will get your muscles to loosen up. I could get you some medication to help with that if you'd like, too.”

“Thank you, but muscle relaxants don't mix well with this job.”

“I understand! I just thought I'd offer since you're not needing to go out in the field.”

That was true, some medication wouldn't have any influence on his job, but he still preferred to be sharp and ready for whatever may come.

“Is there an alternative?” Hijikata asked.

“Hands.”

“Like... a massage?”

“Most closely, yes. Working your muscles and relaxing them with enough frequency, it could move that nerve back to where it's supposed to be.”

“Oh.” Hijikata blinked. “Uh, are there any _other_ options?”

“The pack will help, but fingers will help as well.”

“Okay.” Hijikata took a deep breath and processed that, but thankfully, the more work oriented part of his mind took over. “Which area needs the compression?”

Wan walked around Hijikata to stand behind him and asked, “May I show you by touching which spots I think you should have worked on?”

“Go ahead.”

“This area here is really important,” Wan said and touched the back of Hijikata's neck. “There's this knob here and it'll be good for you to work all around it. Above, all the way to your hairline and both sides into your shoulders. Then you're going to want to go down and get both sides of your spine all the way down to,” he touched the small of Hijikata's back just above his tailbone, “here.”

“Does this nerve go the whole length of my body or somethin'?”

“There isn't a single nerve, there are nerves all through your body and thanks to these wings, there might even be new ones.”

“Great....”

Wan walked back around to Hijikata's front. “It's not as bad as it sounds. If there are new nerves, then they're helping you function and that makes them a good thing.”

“I guess, but what about my front? Could it be the muscle there that's causing the problems?”

“I don't think so, but it is a possibility. From experience, I say focus on your back for now and we'll go from there.”

“Will anything happen if I can't work on it too much?”

“No, but then we won't know if working your muscles helps or not. Imagine if the secret to walking normally again was just one good massage away.”

“That's all it would take?”

“In an ideal situation. I could even do it for you right now, if you wanted.”

“Ah – no. Thanks, but I'm alright.”

“I thought so.”

“Would the nerve or whatever it is get pinched again if it got back in place?”

“It could. If you sleep wrong or fall and land wrong, the nerve could get pinched again. Assuming a nerve really is the issue here.”

“So really this is just a temporary fix to a more permanent problem?”

“There's no way to say for sure, not at this time. It'd be best if I had some results to work with the next time I came by. Any kind of result even if you only use the compression.”

“I can do at least that.”

Wan began packing his stuff away. “May I ask something?”

“Yeah.”

“I just find this arrangement very strange. It's just Sakata-san is here and I thought you were friends, but it seems not to be so. Did you let him in here because of the wings?”

“Not quite. Yes, but also no. I knew him before the wings. We weren't friends, just acquaintances and it seemed like a good idea to some that he and I stay together since we're suffering from the same... cold, as you put it.”

“Nice of you to let him be with you here.”

“Well, we – damn. We've been here awhile, but we're supposed to be switching to his apartment, too.”

“I remember being told about that.”

“We haven't been since you first started coming here.”

“That was awhile ago.”

Hijikata considered that and he'd been so wrapped up with work, the raid, and getting back into his role with the Shinsengumi that the lapse in time had completely gotten lost on him.

“I'm fine if you'll be there, but I still want to work out a time to do those scans.”

“Yeah, we'll discuss that.”

“Okay, then we're done for today. Unless there's something else you have for me?”

“No, we're done. Thank you for your work.”

“Of course, of course!” He handed Hijikata the compression. “I'll be seeing you again soon!”

Hijikata escorted Wan to the main door and after that, he had nothing to do except get back to work. He didn't know where Gintoki had gone and he wasn't going to go looking for him again. He went on with his day as usual and he thought about all the things Wan had told him. There was a lot to think about and he was relieved that Gintoki's wing was only sprained.

The whole massage thing was a different story and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. Hijikata knew he could ask Kondo, but there was something very wrong in asking his Commander to cater to him and give him a massage. There was no way he'd ever ask Sougo and it felt out of the question to pull Yamazaki or Harada aside for such a reason. So, it really just came down to the fact that Hijikata wasn't going to be doing more than the minimum for the nerve thing.

The rest of the afternoon didn't turn out to be what Hijikata had thought it would be. Gintoki wasn't late for their bathroom time and he was completely normal during the whole thing. He helped Hijikata with his yukata and did everything as he usually did, which kind of made things worse for Hijikata. They didn't talk much, but then, they never really did. Gintoki endured the preening afterward and Hijikata tried so many times to broach the file topic, but Gintoki was so oblivious – Hijikata was sure he was acting that way just to be difficult to talk to. The problem was that it worked and after preening, Gintoki had gone to his futon while Hijikata returned to his work.

When Hijikata went to go to sleep, Gintoki was already passed out. He had his wing pulled in close with the pack on his joint and his head was turned away as he slept. Hijikata settled down with his own wings pulled close and he was surprised how _weird_ it felt to sleep without Gintoki's wing over him.

The next morning, Hijikata woke alone.

-o-O-o-

They weren't speaking much anymore.

They talked sometimes to get through the day, but beyond that, nothing. Gintoki was gone a lot, he spent his time wandering around the barracks and ate most of his meals in different places that Hijikata assumed was mostly Sougo's room. Hijikata stayed in his room and ate by himself, but Kondo joined him once. Gintoki was aloof and didn't pay attention to much, let alone comment on anything. Hijikata couldn't call him out on anything, though, because Gintoki wasn't actually out of the ordinary at all.

On the afternoon of the second day, Hijikata went to step out for a smoke, but he paused with his hand on the door. He'd gotten so used to it that he didn't notice it anymore, but it hadn't been replaced yet. The door was still the mess Gintoki had put back together and the thing was surprisingly still holding together. Hijikata ran a hand over some of the tape and huffed under his breath. The door looked ridiculous, but it remained fully functional and Hijikata was so used to it that he hadn't remembered to say anything to anyone about it.

He opened the door and smirked at the sound it made – it sounded like it was dying. It creaked and groaned, but it didn't break or fall apart. He lit a cigarette and took a long drag, but on the exhale, he heard something above his head. It was just a little thump, but it got his attention and he walked out off the porch far enough so he could see the roof. Gintoki was on his back with his knees pulled up and his wings were stretched out to either side.

“Oi! Get down from there!”

Gintoki lifted his head stared down at Hijikata with dead fish eyes. “No.”

“You're probably roasting!”

“I definitely am.”

Hijikata looked around and raised a brow, asking, “How did you even get up there?”

“I jumped and climbed.”

“...how many times did you jump?”

“A few, maybe five. I didn't count.”

“You should come inside, get out of the sun.”

“I will in a bit.”

“Danna!” Sougo called and walked out along the porch. “We only had red ones!” He looked up and smiled at Hijikata, saying, “Hijikata-san, nice of you to join us.”

“I'm not joining,” Hijikata replied and returned to the porch. “Just came out for a smoke.”

“I'm surprised you even got it lit in this humidity.”

“I appreciate your concern,” Hijikata replied drily. “I'm going back to work and you better do the same soon.”

“Aye, aye! Is there anything else I can do for you this afternoon?”

Hijikata stopped and glared. “What've you done?”

“Nothing!” His smile said otherwise. “Have a nice rest of your day.”

He glared harder and went back inside to finish his cigarette by himself indoors where it was cooler. Hijikata went about his afternoon like usual and he didn't want it, but his morale was a bit down. He was able to do his duties just fine and his productivity was the same, but his stomach felt like it had sunk down even lower. He kept it in check and got through his meeting with Harada over a schedule dispute without getting irritated once. He was eager to return to his room just so he could be by himself for awhile and think of a good way to fix things.

Except, when he got to his room, it wasn't empty. Gintoki was on the floor sitting crosslegged with a tray to his side and a platter in front of him. He was eating, actually _eating_ , and he gave Hijikata a cursory glance as he entered.

“What're you eating?”

“A gift from the kitchens.”

Hijikata leaned over him to inspect the platter. “Is that manjū?”

“Yeah, and they're not all filled with red beans.” Gintoki held one up without looking at him. “I bit into a bad one.”

Hijikata took the circular dessert and inspected the little bite taken out of it. He could see a yellow colored filling and one little sniff confirmed it: the manjū was filled with mayonnaise. Since it had come with dinner, Yamazaki must have included the manjū to tempt Gintoki into eating and he'd been thoughtful enough to include Hijikata. It was a nice sentiment, it even made Hijikata's mouth tilt up into a half-smile, but then he was chomping into the food.

His eyes rolled – the damn thing was delicious.

It wasn't overly sweet and it was filled with _mayonnaise_ , it was a nice mix of sweet and savory. He cautiously sat down across from Gintoki and helped himself to the plate to see if there were anymore mayonnaise ones. Every time he bit into a red bean one, he tossed it Gintoki's way and Hijikata definitely got all the ones with mayonnaise. He didn't think Gintoki needed to make all the unhappy noises when he found a mayonnaise filled one, but Hijikata didn't comment in case Gintoki retaliated by destroying one. They ate the whole platter of manjū in relative silence and the treats were gone before Hijikata was ready for them to be.

However, after he ate his last one, there was a minor prickling at the back of Hijikata's neck and it slowly spread up the base of his skull. He reached a hand up to touch the spot and his fingers felt... different. His hair felt odd, too, like there were tiny little needles that didn't hurt pressing against his skin.

“I feel weird,” Gintoki said.

“You _are_ weird.”

“Yeah, okay, but this is a new kinda weird.”

Gintoki was staring straight ahead of himself and his brows were slowly going down. It looked like he was thinking way too hard and Hijikata put his hand in a fist just to test his hand. He was aware of every one of his muscles and he was sensitive to the way his skin felt in certain areas. His neck had been soft, but his palm felt roughened, like he was feeling every single line etched there.

“I think there was something in the manjū,” Gintoki finally stated.

Hijikata looked at the empty platter and touched the edge with his fingertip to make sure it was real. Comforted that it was, he pulled out his phone and called Yamazaki.

“ _Fukuchou_?”

“Oi, did you – what'd you bring us for dinner?”

“ _A standard meal with some substitutions for danna._ ”

Oh, he was danna to Yamazaki now, too?

Hijikata looked at Gintoki's tray. “Yeah, he didn't touch those.” Gintoki looked at his tray, too, and frowned. “Did you bring anything extra? Some manjū?”

“ _No, I just brought the trays_.”

“Then where did the manjū come from?”

“ _I don't know, I didn't bring it. Would you like me to find out who did?_ ”

“No, I think I know. That's all for now.”

Hijikata shut his phone and Gintoki leaned back on his elbows. “This isn't so bad, whatever it is.”

“Sougo did this.”

“You think he grabbed one of the things you confiscated in the raid?”

“That's exactly what I think he did. Or... it came out of the floor, but that's less likely.”

Hijikata waved a hand in front of his face and squinted around the slight blurriness. He felt good, light, and all the soreness and stiffness was gone from his body. He knew he should be angry, but he found any irritation to be curiously lacking. Gintoki was watching his toes wriggle and there was something amusing about that.

“I think I'm kinda high,” Gintoki said.

“You've been high before?”

“Yeah, but it was an accident.”

“How do you accidentally get high?”

“We needed a fire and burned some stuff that made this weird smoke. Don't judge.”

“No judgement here, I was just asking.” Hijikata frowned and felt his body get warm. “This isn't right. I'm gonna kill him for real this time!”

“You're overreacting, it's not that bad.”

“He wasted our inventory and did this without permission!”

“I can't say I mind, he probably did it so we'd have a good time.”

“That doesn't make it right!”

“I never said it was right, you can reprimand him in whatever way you'd like for all I care.”

“This is how he gets away with this stuff,” Hijikata ranted. “You can't be fine with it or he'll just do it again and make it somethin' worse next time.”

“This really isn't all that bad,” Gintoki said and leaned back. “I've got nothing to complain about.”

“At least now I know why he was acting strange earlier.”

“You know, I did wonder why he let you go back inside without trying anything first.”

“Mystery solved,” Hijikata mumbled and his body stayed warm. It was here that he saw his chance to say something and all his previous nerves were missing when he opened his mouth. “I've got another mystery, though.”

“Should I call the kids over and have them bring all our mystery solving gear?”

“No!” Hijikata actually laughed softly thinking back to that. “No, don't. It's not that kind of mystery.”

Gintoki was smirking and said, “Do tell.”

“You haven't been around much.”

“I have so. It's kinda hard to not be around when I can't leave this place.”

“You haven't been around as much. Is it because of the file?”

“It isn't and I've been doing the same things I did before.”

“Except now all those things keep you out of here.”

Gintoki's wings tilted back. “Wha – no? No, that's not true and besides, I'm in here now. If I didn't want to be in here, then I wouldn't be.”

“Then where all do you go around here?”

“Little bit of everywhere.”

“Like...? Seems like whenever I go looking for you, you're never where you should be. Well, where _I_ think you should be.”

“I'm all over the place and not that hard to find, really.”

“That doesn't answer my question. Maybe I should get you a temporary phone so I can call you when I can't find you.”

“No! Don't do that! I'm not a technology kind of guy.”

“I was kidding, but now I'm curious. Had a bad experience with cellphones, have you?”

“Kinda? Kagura once got cellphones for Shinpachi and I, but it was a disaster. Always took me forever to get the right buttons and I'm just too lazy to spend time learning the damn things.”

“How did she even even afford a phone for all of you with no income?”

“It was a stand alone event, the details don't really matter. Besides, Gengai had something to do with it, so they were probably hacked somehow.”

“That sounds suspiciously illegal.”

“I wouldn't worry about it, they're gone now.”

“Gengai's voice has sounded different for awhile, have you noticed?”

“Yeah, but we probably shouldn't comment on that.”

“Right.” Hijikata paused in a short moment of silence out of respect. “Anyway, so if I gave you my phone to mess with, you wouldn't know what to do with it?”

“I can figure something out if I need to,” Gintoki replied. “It was your phone I used to call the gorilla to the apartment awhile back.”

“Ah, that was awhile ago, wasn't it?” Hijikata cleared his throat and leaned forward. “It's probably time to go back to your apartment. Definitely time,” he amended, “it's overdue. Could we just stay here for a couple more days before we head over?”

“Sure.”

“I can get everything wrapped up and then we can go over, it'd just be one more night here.”

Gintoki's right wing came out and tapped Hijikata's shoulder. “I said sure, I don't need an explanation. It's fine, we can go whenever.”

“You say things are fine a lot.”

“Usually because they are. Like feeling this way right now, this is fine,” Gintoki said and snorted. “I can't be mad at Okita-kun when this doesn't feel bad and I can still fight.”

Hijikata stood up and the ground seemed a lot further away than usual. He wasn't dizzy and his body moved well, but his perception of things was a little altered. Everything was a bit fuzzy and some things were distorted, but there was nothing too out of the usual going on. Hijikata moved his arms out and had his wings follow the motion. He felt slightly off balance even though he wasn't doing anything more than standing there.

“You could fight like this?”

“Yeah, couldn't you?”

Hijikata thought about it. “I could, but it'd take some getting used to.”

“It wouldn't. It's like fighting when you've been doing it for a long time and you've lost a lot of blood.”

When put like that, it made sense and Hijikata nodded.

“Never mind, you're right.”

“Minus all the exhaustion, though.”

“Mm.”

“You can actually do some pretty awesome stuff when you're in that state,” Gintoki went on. “Like when you sliced that bullet in half.”

“T'ch, that was a one time thing.”

“You could do it again if you needed to.”

“Is a side effect of this stuff incessant chatter?”

Gintoki glanced up at him and blinked owlishly. “I don't know.”

He went back to watching his toes wriggle and said no more. It took Hijikata less than a minute to realize his mistake and he flinched.

“That didn't mean shut up.”

“Didn't it?” Gintoki asked and sounded so honestly _confused_.

“No, that – I don't mind. The chatter.”

“I'm not really all that chatty much.”

“You can be.”

“Everyone can be.”

“Not me.”

Gintoki scoffed, “Have you ever heard yourself when you start talking work? You never shut up!”

“Issuing orders doesn't make me chatty.”

“No, not that! Talking _work_! You get going about the changes that need made, how the patrols need to be more staggered, how the schedule needs updated, the forms being messy, reconfiguring the forms so they're easier to fill out, it goes on and on and _on_.”

“I really say all those things?”

“All that and more! You mumble them under your breath, it's the same as saying them. I'd appreciate it if you talked to Jimmy about the forms already, I'm tired of hearing that one.”

“I didn't know I did that.”

“Well, now you do.” Gintoki lifted a foot and hiked his leg over his other one. “You know who's really chatty around here?”

“Kondo-san,” they said at the same time except Gintoki didn't say the honorific.

Gintoki chuckled and Hijikata's brows furrowed as he said, “I was unaware you spoke to him much.”

“Uh... yeah?” Gintoki pursed his lips, perplexed. “We talk everyday.”

“You do? Since when?”

“Since the first day I started staying here.”

“I –”

“Had no idea?” Gintoki finished and Hijikata shook his head. “Yeah, he's a pretty good host. He always tracks me down each day and asks if I'm comfortable, if I need anything. Most times he just wants to stay and talk.”

“What do you talk about?”

Gintoki shrugged. “Anything he wants to. He stayed with me for a couple hours once just talking about the old days before you guys came to Edo and what kind of hair he had then. He even showed me a picture.”

“I like it better now.”

“That's exactly what I told him! It didn't look _bad_ , but it's definitely an improvement now.”

Hijikata hummed in agreement, then a thought struck him as he sat back down – he'd forgotten why he'd been standing.

“Does that mean you saw my long hair?”

Gintoki grinned. “What do you think?”

“You saw it and you haven't made fun of me once? Amazing.”

“What's there to make fun of? It's a good look for you.”

“Ha. Ha.”

“I'm serious! I would've given you a hard time if you'd worn it in pigtails or something, but it works for you as is.”

“Yeah, right.”

“It did! Reminded me of... well, it just reminded me of someone else that can pull that look off as a guy.”

“Have you ever grown your hair out?”

Gintoki laughed so hard his cheeks got a little flushed.

“You straight haired people! You have no idea!” He covered his mouth briefly with a hand and shook his head. “Of course not! Natural perms are just – you don't _want_ to grow a natural perm out! Ever! That time skip thing is the _only_ time I'll have long hair!”

“I didn't think that counted...?”

“It doesn't, I'm just saying. Natural perms and long hair don't mix well. At least, not for me. Too much hassle, too much hair everywhere, and if you think my hair is bad now in this heat, it'd be ten times worse if it was longer.”

“Some things I could probably live without seeing.”

“Definitely.”

“So, wait, this is bothering me now. Just how old are you even?”

Gintoki smirked and raised a brow. “How old do you think I am?”

“Huh. Alright.” Hijikata repositioned himself so he was facing Gintoki head on and crossed his arms. “You're not older than forty even though you act like you're fifty. You're older than twenty, obviously. Screw twenties, you have to be somewhere in your thirties.” He squinted at Gintoki's face, looking for any indication that he was on the right track, but he found nothing there. Thinking back to when the war took place, he subtracted ten years from the age he was thinking and nodded – it made sense. “Thirty-four.”

“Try again.”

“Thirty-three?”

“No.”

“Surely not thirty-five?”

“Surely not,” Gintoki agreed, his smirk twitching.

“Thirty... two?”

“Give up on the thirties already, you're starting to hurt my feelings!”

“You're _not_ in your thirties?”

“No!”

“You're sure?”

Gintoki glared, but it was more mocking than annoyed. “Pretty sure, yeah.”

“Twenty-nine, then.”

“Still no, though I might get there by the time you guess right.”

“So you're twenty-eight!”

Gintoki collapsed against the floor in a feathery heap. “No!”

“Twenty-seven?”

“Finally!”

“You're... really twenty-seven?”

“As far as I know, yeah.”

“So you were only seventeen or eighteen when...” Hijikata trailed and couldn't stop staring.

“What're you mumbling about?”

“N-nothing. I didn't know we were the same age.”

“And now you do,” Gintoki said and languidly stretched out on his stomach with his head propped up on his hands. They were still facing each other and Hijikata moved the empty platter aside so it wasn't in the way. “Don't you have paperwork that needs to get done?”

Hijikata looked over his shoulder at the papers on his desk and his decision was surprisingly easy to make.

“It's not going anywhere.”

“Maybe not, but it'll grow.”

“I can handle it. Oi, do you still hear that whistling noise at night?”

“I thought you'd forgotten all about that.”

“Obviously not.” Truthfully, he'd only just remembered it right then and he had no idea why. “Do you still hear it?”

“Almost every night, yeah.”

“Why haven't you said anything?”

Gintoki sighed and spread his wings out, but his dented one didn't go as far as his uninjured one. “You weren't hearing it, so I thought maybe it was just me, you know? That... happens. Sometimes.”

“Oh. We'll figure out what it is, then.”

“If it's anything,” Gintoki replied and shrugged with both shoulders.

Hijikata felt a subtle wave of the heat again and unlike the heat outside, this warmth was pleasant. It didn't make him _hot_ , but it was some kind of heat regardless. It made it easy to just sit and talk to Gintoki and the absurd part was that it _was_ easy. It was nice, too.

“I wanna spar,” Hijikata said.

“Eh?”

“Spar. I wanna do that.”

“With me?”

“Do you see anyone else around?”

Gintoki actually lifted his head out of his hands so he could look over each shoulder. “No.”

“Then you know who I wanna spar with.”

“Okay.”

Simple as that, Gintoki got up and headed for the door with Hijikata following just behind. They made their way through the barracks to the dojo, but somewhere along the way they'd decided to go to the pond, so all they did was grab a sword. No one had been in the dojo, so no one saw them, and the trek to the cars took twice as long because there were a lot of pauses and detours. Touching different textures was an adventure all on its own and Hijikata liked the feeling of the steering wheel against his palms when they finally fitted themselves into the car. Gintoki's hand on his wing felt fine, too, but just how much Hijikata felt it was interesting. He was aware of every single one of Gintoki's digits and the feathers must have felt good because Gintoki pet them a little.

“You sure you're okay to drive?”

Hijikata rubbed the steering wheel, then started the car. “Yeah, I'm good. The ground isn't moving or anything, but if it starts to, I'll stop.”

“Sounds like a good plan.”

The sun was going down, but Hijikata didn't mind, he was actually looking forward to this. The idea had just appeared to him and it was like everything in his subconscious was being dredged up. Anything that came to mind was being said and it was strange that he could have more control over himself when he was drunk than when he was like this. He thought about that on the way to the pond and he wasn't even worried about saying something he shouldn't because this was Gintoki – someone who probably kept more secrets than the entire government.

“The water looks like it's on fire,” Gintoki said when they got to the pond.

The setting sun casted an array of yellows, oranges, and reds on the surface of the water and it did look like a bonfire. Hijikata got out of the car and jumped slightly at the shock of grass against his feet – he hadn't really realized he wasn't wearing any shoes. Gintoki, he noticed, wasn't wearing any, either, and the dead grass poked rudely at the bottoms of Hijikata's feet.

“Where're your boots?”

Gintoki looked down at his feet and wriggled his toes. “Where're your sandals?”

“Probably with your boots.”

“Probably not! As if you'd put your belongings anywhere near my boots after you banned them to the porch!”

“They were banned for good reason! They reek! How can you not smell them?”

Gintoki's head tilted to one side. “It's my own brand, that's why. Like how people don't mind their own farts.”

“That's as disgusting as you are.”

“Thanks,” Gintoki said and then his eyes suddenly focused on something behind Hijikata.

He took a step forward and Hijikata only had to glance back for half a second to get what was happening.

“No!” Hijikata got in Gintoki's way and pushed on his chest. “Not now, you can't!”

“Why not? It'll be fine!”

“It won't! Your wing is still bent!”

“Let go, I barely feel it!”

“That's because some Amanto concoction was slipped into our manjū! You can't go jumping out of trees!”

“But I wanna,” Gintoki replied and he almost sounded petulant.

“I'll fight you for it.”

“Will you now?” Gintoki asked and smirked. “So I'm allowed to fight, but not jump out of trees?”

“That... should be obvious. Why do you even have to ask?”

“You can let go of me now, I won't make a break for it.”

Hijikata kept his hands exactly where they were and answered, “No, I don't trust you.”

“You better start,” Gintoki said and pushed Hijikata's hands away. “If you'll let me feel up your wings and stay at the barracks, then you've gotta believe me when I say stuff.”

“Then you do the same and believe me when I say you won't be jumping outta any trees today.”

“Ohoo, is that a threat?” Gintoki asked with a wolfish smile.

“It can be whatever you want it to be! Gimme my sword!”

Gintoki pulled the extra sword off his hip and handed it to Hijikata, then grabbed his own bokken.

“Why'd you wanna spar all the sudden?”

Hijikata saw no point in pretending and admitted, “I've wanted to pick it back up since the raid. I spent a lot of time in that car and realized pretty damn quick that if someone found me, I could defend myself, but with these wings I'd be clumsy and uncoordinated. I need to be more used to them.”

“Yeah, alright. Let's do this, c'mon.”

Their swords crashed together and Hijikata's whole body thrummed with the strength of Gintoki's hit reverberating through him. The pond water turned into a living wildfire in Hijikata's peripherals and he smiled. He countered Gintoki and from then on, they fought in a series of steps and hits that had Hijikata's arms aching. He didn't mind, though, this was a good ache and he was having _fun_. His wings did give him problems, but each time they did, Gintoki either waited for him to regain himself or gave him a little nudge with a wing or shoulder to help him. That should probably be irritating, but Hijikata found he didn't mind anymore than he found it embarrassing.

“Dammit!” Hijikata shouted on a particularly bad jerk that interrupted their ongoing fight.

“Shh!” Gintoki hissed and wiped his glistening brow. “Your anger is upsetting the water!”

“The water's fine!”

“You're making it shake!”

Hijikata looked over at the moonlit ripples on the water and rolled his eyes. “Moron, that's the wind!”

“That's what you said about the whistling noise! You can't blame the wind for everything!”

“I don't blame it for everything!” Hijikata retorted and threw himself at Gintoki.

There was a laugh from the natural perm and they were fighting again. His body was telling him they'd been at it for a long time, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. The moonlight shrouded everything in a silver glow and thanks to the cloudless sky and nearly full moon, they were able to see just fine to continue. Hijikata was covered in sweat, but he wasn't at all bothered by it. They also talked a lot through the fighting, but it was mostly jibes and teases to push each other on.

He hadn't been lying, he'd wanted to get back into fighting more for awhile, but he hadn't known how to handle it. He didn't want to disrupt someone's day for him and he didn't want to make a fool of himself in a sparring session. A subordinate wouldn't let him live it down if his wings jerked and he fell helplessly in the middle of a fight. He needed to maintain respect with those under his command and as much as he trusted Kondo, he didn't want to make a fool of himself in from of his Commander, either. Gintoki was the perfect option and he was looking forward to this.

He'd already given himself a bloody nose in front of Gintoki and he hadn't been treated any differently afterward, so it surely couldn't get any worse than that.

A long time later, Gintoki tossed his bokken aside and lifted his hands in fists. “You any good at hand to hand?”

“I'm gonna whoop you,” Hijikata replied with a smirk and threw his sword over with Gintoki's.

“I'll believe it when I see it.”

Hand to hand was just as exhilarating and learning to adjust his wings to account for his body movements was great for him. Gintoki wasn't holding back on him and so Hijikata made sure to meet him punch for punch. He blocked with his arms and they circled each other, matching step for step as they had before with the swords.

Things were going really well until Gintoki's good wing came around and punched him in the side.

“Stop that! You're such a cheater!”

“Not even! This is a _style_! It's not my fault you're shit against it!”

“I am not!”

“You so are! I don't know how when you've had Okita-kun around for so long!”

Hijikata threw himself forward with a yell and Gintoki laughed as he blocked a punch.

“I've had just as many hits on you!”

“Have not!”

Gintoki grabbed his wrist and yanked him forward as his wing came around to hit Hijikata again. It knocked the air out of him, but he twisted his hand to grab Gintoki's arm and pull him forward, too. He tried to knee Gintoki in the stomach, but got his thigh and a grunt instead. Gintoki used momentum to swing Hijikata around and when he let go, Hijikata took a few steps back before he could stop.

“Were you aiming for my silver jewels?”

“Your _what_?”

Gintoki motioned to his crotch. “You hit me here and it's over, I will take you _down_ , mayora.”

“Aw, see, I thought a real man could take a hit.”

“You volunteering to take a hit there and show me what a real man you are from the ground?”

“The ground? That's presumptuous. Not everyone keels over like their life is ending after a little ball tap.”

Gintoki moved forward threateningly and Hijikata got a little thrill out of matching him stride for stride. It meant something that Gintoki didn't looked annoyed, he looked like he was enjoying himself, which was good because Hijikata definitely was. They went back to fighting and Hijikata started using his wings, too. It was awkward at first since he wasn't used to doing it, but thinking of them as an extra set of arms kind of changed his perspective on them some. He and Gintoki went round and round and they were both cut somewhere, but it didn't matter, not to people like them.

On one of their exchanges, Gintoki aimed a good hit just as Hijikata's wings jerked backward. The force of it sent them pitching in the same direction so hard they went tumbling. Hijikata hit the ground first on his back and Gintoki would have landed on him had he not given a massive flap with his wings and sent himself over Hijikata in a somersault. He landed on his back and his head hit Hijikata's so hard they both shouted.

“That's gonna leave a bump,” Gintoki hissed.

Hijikata groaned and pressed a hand to his forehead until the sting went away. Once it did, he let his hand slide up over his head and his fingers found a mess of permy hair to tangle in.

“I've gotta confess somethin',” Hijikata said.

“Ooo, a confession, gimme the dirt!”

“I _hate_ the toilet at your apartment.” Gintoki started laughing and Hijikata went on, “I'm serious! There's no room in there with these wings! I really hate your goddamn toilet!”

“I know! My wings are bigger, I have a tougher time fitting myself in there!”

“I do have a question, too.”

Gintoki flung a couple feathers behind him so they landed on Hijikata's face. “What might that be?”

“Do you know what happened to my figurine?”

“The case of the broken thingie!” Gintoki trumpeted and Hijikata blew a feather into the air to get it off his cheek. “Yes, I figured it out awhile ago.”

“And you never said anything?”

“You won't like the answer.”

“You'd have to tell me before we'll know how I'll handle it. Out with it! What happened to Tomo – er, my figurine?”

“It'll be easier to explain when we go back to the apartment.”

“You'll really tell me then?”

Gintoki sniggered. “Something like that.”

“Now you've got me even more curious!”

“Good! Live in suspense!”

Hijikata tugged lightly on the patch of Gintoki's hair that he was holding captive in response and they fell silent after that. It was a comfortable silence, maybe the first _real_ comfortable quiet they'd ever had together. For Hijikata, they'd just been tolerating each other before, but it was almost glaringly apparent now that Gintoki had been trying to _get along_ for quite awhile and Hijikata hadn't been meeting him halfway. If anything, Hijikata had been isolating him and keeping him out.

Hijikata didn't want that anymore.

He tugged on the perm curls again and received no response, which meant Gintoki was either asleep or he didn't mind. He wasn't used to having fun with someone his own age and he definitely wasn't used to being treated like he was just another guy. The faction would include him in things, of course, but there was always that barrier of Vice-Commander and subordinate that just never seemed to go away. Gintoki treated him like he was Toushiro Hijikata – a man, nothing more and nothing less. He also didn't hold back in sparring and Hijikata knew he'd be feeling some of those hits in the morning.

Hijikata watched the stars above him glitter and he felt like he was laying on a cloud. The moon was reaching its zenith, so they'd been fighting for a long time and regardless, Hijikata felt good.

“You still upset about that file?”

His voice sounded so small, he was sure Gintoki was asleep.

Then, a quiet, “No.”

Hijikata sighed, believing it for the first time, and closed his eyes.

**To Be Continued**

 


	24. Slow and Steady Wins the Race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: a revelation!
> 
> But for now, more build 

**Art by: Rogai**

Birds chirped and Hijikata became very aware of an ache in his back. He groaned against the stiffness, but didn't do anything to move right away. He didn't feel _bad_ , there was no headache or pains, just a lot of cramps from sleeping on the hard ground with no padding. He kept his eyes closed and took silent stock of his body to make sure everything was intact.

All seemed to be in order and he could feel that he was covered in a thin layer of dew, but it felt good against his skin, refreshing. There was just one thing that left him wondering and it was the soft, damp hairs he could feel tangled around the fingers of his right hand. He could vaguely remember tugging on Gintoki's hair the night before, but he hadn't thought his hand had stayed there. Gintoki wasn't moving and Hijikata could hear his deep breaths, so the only conclusion was that he was still asleep.

Removing his fingers very carefully, Hijikata sat up and rubbed his eyes. He could see shapes on the backs of his lids and when he blinked his eyes open, the sun burned his retinas. Dew dripped off him and he wiped his brow and looked at how the water glistened in the sunlight against the back of his hand. The sun was all the way up, but it wasn't very high in the sky yet, so Hijikata wasn't worried that anyone at the barracks were wondering where he was. If they saw the car was missing and Hijikata's room was empty, they'd just assume they were at the pond, which they were.

Hijikata stretched his wings out and his back told him to _stop_. Sleeping on the ground had done him absolutely no favors and he was sore from head to toe again. All the sparring had definitely taken its toll on him, but he felt good because of it. He looked over his shoulder and Gintoki was to all appearances still sleeping. His head was tilted to one side, his lips were parted to allow each deep breath, and one hand was resting against his chest, rising and falling evenly, while his other arm was flung out over his wing. Gintoki was bruised, scuffed up, and dirty, his yukata was even torn partially at the shoulder, but it was a good look for him – natural, almost, in a way Hijikata couldn't explain.

His head cleared as he woke up more and after thinking about it, he lowered himself back down. His hair brushed Gintoki's and Hijikata stretched his wings out again, this time so far that his back arched up off the ground. It felt great and when his back hit the ground again, he signed contentedly. His back was still fucked the hell up and the kinks were basically knobs, but this was unexpectedly nice and reminded him of before he'd come to Edo. That was a shadowy time, but this was a good nostalgia and he hadn't had that for awhile. He knew they needed to get back, but it wouldn't hurt anything if he clung to this feeling and let Gintoki sleep for a little while longer.

He ended up dozing and it was such a comfortable nap that he couldn't regret it when he came to again. It was the heat that woke him and the wetness on his brow was sweat more than it was condensation. He wiped his brow with a hand like he had earlier and once more struggled to sit up.

“Did your back just break?” Hijikata looked over his shoulder to find Gintoki's head tilted backward to see him better. “Kinda sounded like it 'cause of how many times it cracked.”

“Sit up and I bet your's will be just as noisy.”

“I don't doubt it,” Gintoki replied and chuckled. Taking a deep breath, Gintoki wriggled and just getting himself up onto his elbows made his back crack so loud Hijikata actually winced. Gintoki immediately flopped back down and threw his arms above his head. “I'm way too old for this.”

“If I can manage,” Hijikata said, getting to his feet, “then you've got no excuses.”

“As far as excuses go, you'll find I've got plenty.”

Hijikata walked around until he was in front of Gintoki and held both hands out. “Good thing I've heard enough excuses to be immune to them, then. C'mon, at this point you've got no excuse for a shower.”

Gintoki didn't move at first and just watched him, a frown pulling at his mouth. It was obvious he didn't want to move, but Hijikata narrowed his eyes and spread his fingers. Hijikata was about to say screw it and haul Gintoki up by the front of his yukata, but the bastard grunted just in time to stop him. Gintoki shimmied up and grabbed Hijikata's hands so he could help him up and it was by no means an easy feat. Hijikata had to flap his wings to give him some extra pull and on the way up, something popped alarmingly loud somewhere on Gintoki's body.

“What the hell was that?”

They let go once Gintoki was up and he reached an arm around to hit his lower back with a fist as he yawned. “Dunno. My shoulder, maybe.”

Hijikata wasn't convinced, but he didn't say anything because if Gintoki could walk, then he must have been fine. On their way to the car, Gintoki picked up both swords and his lips pursed each time he had to bend. Their bare feet were almost black with dirt and Hijikata could feel that his hair was sticking out at an odd angle in the back. He knew he was filthy, but feeling it like this was a little disconcerting, especially since he didn't totally mind it. Getting in the car was kind of gross because he could feel the dried dirt and sweat cracking against his skin, but even that was okay.

“All things considered, that didn't turn out so bad,” Gintoki said as he grabbed onto Hijikata's wing to hold it back.

“It could've been worse. I figured I'd feel like hell this morning, but there doesn't seem to be some weird hangover.”

“I thought the same.”

Hijikata started the car and began the drive back, asking, “No headache or anything?”

“Nothing, it just feels like I slept on the ground all night. You?”

“I could use a cigarette.”

“Is there ever a time when you can't use one?”

“Not really.”

“So then what happens when you run out?”

“You don't wanna know,” Hijikata said ominously and Gintoki laughed.

“There's no way you're worse than a hungry Yato.”

“That's not really a theory I want to test.”

Gintoki shook his head emphatically. “That would be fun for exactly no one!”

“Your hair is a disaster,” Hijikata remarked as he glanced up in the rearview mirror.

“Isn't it always?”

“Yeah, but this is worse.”

Gintoki tossed his head. “You're just jealous my hair does something other than be all flat and boring.”

“If you could see yourself, you'd know there's nothing to be jealous of,” Hijikata teased.

Gintoki scoffed and the ride went by fairly quickly with some light banter to pass the time. Hijikata parked the car once they arrived and then there was a lot of sneaking around. Everything was empty for the most part, but they were still quiet as they snuck into Hijikata's room to get clothes, then to the showers to wash up. There was so much dirt to wash off that Hijikata really had to scrub his skin to clean the thick layer of it from him. He had to stick his feet, one by one, out of the stall in order to reach them and bending over so much with his wings in such a small stall wasn't very comfortable. They both somehow managed to freshen up, though, but a lot of their skin was red from scrubbing so hard.

Hijikata was still sore as hell and there was nothing to be done about the bruising, but after the shower, he felt great. Being in a fresh yukata probably helped with that a lot and Gintoki seemed to agree because his feathers wouldn't stop fluffing. Hijikata was being as subtle as he could, but he was paying a lot of attention to him, more than normal. Gintoki didn't look too skinny, but his waist was certainly very trim. Hijikata didn't know for sure if he was fully forgiven for the file incident, but if he wasn't, he was ready to do what needed to be done to fix it.

“Oi, you've still got dirt on your feathers.”

Gintoki looked over his shoulder and frowned. “I do? I thought I got it all.”

“Sit, I'll get it.”

“I'm already in my yukata.”

“So I'll be careful not to drench you.”

Gintoki looked unconvinced, but he sat anyway and Hijikata hooked up the sprayer. He tested the water with his hand until it was a good temperature, then gently went at the white feathers that were still marred with brown. He had to grab a scrubber to work the dirt off and he did his best not to get Gintoki's clothes. For most of it, Gintoki was able to curve his wing enough that the spray didn't get him, but closer to the base, Hijikata had to get the scrubber wet first before going at the dirt. He spent maybe twenty minutes doing both wings and by the time he was done, each wing looked bright, but the amount of feathers on the floor was cause for concern.

“I think you might pass as clean now.”

Gintoki flapped his wings out to shed the water and the moment Hijikata took one step to unhook the sprayer, his wrist was caught.

“Dirt's not gonna show up well on black.”

“So? I have better hygiene methods than you do.”

Gintoki huffed and pulled Hijikata down to take his place. “Doesn't matter. If you can't reach it, then it's not going anywhere.”

Hijikata held still and elbowed Gintoki on the thigh when a dirty black feather was held in front of his face from behind. Gintoki twirled it for him until Hijikata snatched it out from between his fingers. It was reassuring that Gintoki was willing to do this and Hijikata thumbed the dirty feather while Gintoki worked. The rhythm and touch of Gintoki's hands were steady and it lulled Hijikata a bit. He still wasn't used to being touched so much, but preening wasn't so bad and Gintoki was being gentle. There was one moment where Hijikata's wings both jerked for no reason, but Gintoki only waited for the spasm to end before continuing.

“You should be good now.” Hijikata shifted to move, but then Gintoki grabbed his right wing. “Wait!” A cold spritz of water hit the back of Hijikata's neck. “Okay. Good.”

“I knew you'd do something like that!” Hijikata yelled and reached over backward to grab the sprayer.

The two of them grappled with it and Hijikata managed to get a good quick spray off right into Gintoki's face. By the time they were done fighting, parts of their clothes were darker with water and Gintoki's hair was wet enough that he needed to take a towel to it again. The fight only ended because the cord of the sprayer had gotten wrapped up and twisted around them. Hijikata's wings were twitching a lot and that was annoying, but it had helped him get the upper hand more than once in their squabbling.

Hijikata put the sprayer away and they gathered their stuff once they dried themselves off for a second time. Unlike the day before, the atmosphere was lighter and not shadowed by uncertainty. Gintoki wasn't acting different or trying to avoid him and that was such a relief. He didn't know what he'd do if Gintoki went back to avoiding him.

“There you two are!” Kondo greeted when they'd arrived at Hijikata's room. “I was wondering where you'd gotten off to!”

“We were just at the pond,” Hijikata replied and at least it wasn't a lie.

“I'd stopped by last night and you weren't here.”

“Sorry, did you need something?”

“Not really, I'd just wanted to know how you liked your treats.”

“Treats?”

“Yeah, I'd left some manjū for you both. Things have been going so well lately, I'd just thought you might enjoy something like that.”

Hijikata's brows crinkled and Gintoki, having been halfway into the room, came back out, asking, “Did I hear something about manjū?”

“He left it,” Hijikata said, but it came out sounding like a question and Gintoki moved in close to stand beside him.

“No?” Their wings were pressed together with the way they were standing. “Okita-kun had to have left it.”

Kondo tilted his head. “I got you the manjū... I made a special order and picked it up myself. Did you not like it?”

“Of course we liked it!” Hijikata said and pushed his wing into Gintoki's. “Didn't we?”

Thankfully, Gintoki wasn't so stupid that he couldn't pick up on specific signals and he played right along.

“It was good, I've never had manjū like that before... where'd you get it?”

“Azayaka, it's over passed the quarry.”

“Do you eat there often?”

“Sometimes!”

Hijikata shared a quick glance with Gintoki and asked, “How do you feel after you eat there?”

“How do I feel?” Kondo laughed and his grin got bigger. “I feel great! That's why I like it!”

“That's... good,” Hijikata ventured and he really was doing his best to sound genuine. “Oh, but before I forget, we'll be going back to the apartment tomorrow.”

“Good to know! We'll have a nice meal together before you leave! And I'll let you take whatever assignments and paperwork you want and then send some extra stuff with you.”

“More can always be brought to me, too.”

“We'll get you all setup! It'll actually be nice to have you out that way, it'll give us an excuse to be out more.”

“Except no one is supposed to know I'm there. If anything it'll just seem like the Shinsengumi are taking a special interest in a civilian residence, which could raise questions if anyone looks too closely.” Hijikata suddenly frowned at his own words. “After the raid, I don't know if it's such a good idea to let us leave a car there. We don't want to make the Yorozuya a target, so we'll have to find a discreet way to get me stuff.”

“You don't want the car?”

“I think it'd be safer without it for awhile, at least until we can be sure no one's paying attention to our movements. There's just not a good place to park it out there and if we really want to go somewhere like the pond then we can call for a ride.”

“Good thinking! We'll keep the modified car on standby just for that so we'll have it ready whenever you decide you need it. Anything else?”

“No, that should be good for now.” He turned to Gintoki and the it must have surprised him because his feathers ruffled, though, his expression didn't change. “Unless you've got somethin' to add?”

Gintoki shook his head and his eyes flickered briefly over Hijikata's face before he turned away and headed toward Hijikata's room. After saying goodbye to Kondo, Hijikata followed Gintoki and pulled out his phone on the way. He closed the door behind him as he dialed the right number and went to sit at his desk.

“ _Fukuchou_?”

“I have a small assignment for you and I need you to do this .”

“ _Sure, what's going on_?”

“I need you to look into this bakery about some manjū.”

“ _Manjū_?”

“Yeah, we had some yesterday and it wasn't... quite right.”

“ _Like it didn't taste good_?”

“No, it tasted fine, but it had some strange, uh –”

“Side effects,” Gintoki offered.

“Yeah, side effects.”

“ _Okay, which bakery_?”

Hijikata recited the name and gave the best directions he could based on what Kondo had said. He could tell Gintoki was listening, but he hid it well with a Jump in his hands as he stared sightlessly at the pages. Hijikata wrapped up his conversation and after he hung up, he and Gintoki didn't speak. Instead, they shared space and Gintoki didn't find some excuse to leave. That could have been because he was interested in whatever Yamazaki came back with, but Hijikata was sure that if Gintoki wanted to leave, he'd already be off somewhere else.

He got quite a bit of work done before his phone went off and instead of receiving a direct text, he'd been given a data file. He began downloading it and while it was doing that, he got a text from Yamazaki telling him he'd found the bakery, but most of the information was written in the native tongue of wherever the Amanto had come from. He'd found a translator, but Yamazaki told him the translation was rough and might be difficult to understand.

“What's the word?”

“Hold on.”

Hijikata read the translation, then went back and skimmed it to make sure he was reading it right. The translation was choppy, so he motioned for Gintoki to come over as he kept reading. Gintoki settled right next to him with his wing stretched out behind him so there was enough space and Hijikata angled his phone for Gintoki to see. Hijikata's wing was pressed against Gintoki's shoulder and it was a tight fit, but since his wings were slightly smaller they were able to make it work.

“It's an Amanto shop,” Hijikata said.

“Yeah, we knew that.” Gintoki leaned forward and squinted at the screen. “Scroll down. This screen is so tiny, how're you able to see that?”

“Practice.”

“I can barely read it.”

“Squint harder.”

Gintoki chuckled and squinted until his whole face was wrinkled and skewed with the strain.

“This is the best translation Jimmy could get?”

“Seems so. It mentions a planet, so that might be where the shop is from.”

“Mm...” Gintoki hummed and kept squinting at the screen. Grabbing Hijikata's wrist, he brought the phone closer to his face and frowned. “What's comminute?”

“I'm not sure. Where're you seeing that?”

“Right in the middle there, it mentions the plant and then talks about comminute.”

“Ah... yeah, I don't know.”

Gintoki let go of him and leaned back, the lines in his face smoothing out once he stopped squinting so hard.

“Can't you look it up?”

Hijikata used his browser to search the word and after a minute or so, he read, “Powdered... something. Examples given are dust, flour, and granulates.”

Gintoki scooted away just enough that they weren't so squished together and he spread his wings out wider to allow them more space. His right one stayed somewhat curled around Hijikata and after repositioning, his lower feathers weren't pressed against the floor as much.

“Alright, so... correct me if I'm wrong, but what I'm getting from this is that the Amanto that opened the shop in question came from that weird planet and they use flour or grain or whatever harvested from their planet to make their stuff.”

“I think that's right?” Hijikata brought up the translation and skimmed through it one more time. “With the reaction we had to it, I'd say they have to be using something foreign in their food.”

“Something that doesn't have the same effect on Amantos as it does on humans.”

“Well,” Gintoki bumped his wing into Hijikata's, “we're not entirely human anymore, I don't think.”

“Wings don't make us Amanto,” Hijikata reasoned and bumped Gintoki gently in return.

“That we know of.”

“Worst case we're some sort of hybrid.”

“And best case?”

Hijikata paused. “Best case... we're... I don't know.”

“Yeah, me either.” Gintoki glanced at his left wing thoughtfully, then looked back at Hijikata. “How long do you think Gorilla has been eating that stuff?”

“I don't know! I didn't even know he went there!”

“He acts so eccentric sometimes, how do you even tell when he has eaten the stuff and when he hasn't?”

“No idea! That's probably why I never noticed anything before,” Hijikata groused. “He does crazy things all the time, how am I supposed to be able to tell which ones are fueled by foreign Amanto flour or whatever?”

“At least now you know about it.”

“Yeah, so that's another thing to look out for.”

“What about Okita-kun?”

Hijikata shuddered. “Good question....”

“He should be warned, but it'd also probably be best if he didn't know.”

“Probably?” Hijikata scoffed scornfully. “It'd be a disaster if he found out! There'd never be any way to tell if the food on the table was legitimate or if Sougo had gotten specially made Amanto food just to mess with the whole faction!”

Gintoki bit his lip thoughtfully for a moment, then asked, “So, you don't think he already knows about the bakery Gorilla goes to?”

“No, I don't. Not yet, at any rate. You formulating some professional sadist advice over there?”

“Maybe? If it were me, I'd tell him right away. It'd be better to tell him and know that he knows rather than stay unsure whether he knows or not and then end up on the wrong end of a bad pastry because you weren't fully prepared.”

The look on Gintoki's face when he said _bad pastry_ had Hijikata covering his mouth with a hand. It was like the words had never left his mouth before and he was distraught by the mere suggestion that a bad pastry might exist in the world.

“I'll be sure to tell him, then.”

“That's the smartest thing.”

“Unless you want to tell him?”

Gintoki gave Hijikata a quick searching look, replying, “I can if you want me to, it makes no difference to me.”

“Go ahead,” Hijikata said and turned his phone over in his hands. “It's more likely you'll see him before I do, too.”

“That's true, he's really good at avoiding you.”

“He's equally as talented at avoiding work.”

“So I've heard.”

Gintoki moved to get up and Hijikata thought he was going to use his shoulder as leverage, but instead, Gintoki put his hand on Hijikata's head and pushed himself up that way. Hijikata nearly toppled over and he kicked at Gintoki's legs to trip him, but he was already moving out of range with a snigger. While Hijikata still had his phone in hand, he texted Yamazaki some sides for Gintoki to try and he was more hopeful that those would work. After Gintoki had had no problem with the manjū, then he had reason to think that most pastry based things would work. It was hard to say whether they had kept eating because of the Amanto ingredients or not and Hijikata was really banking on that not being the case.

However, by the time dinner rolled around, Hijikata had a longer list of things Gintoki wasn't overly interested in. Hijikata had tried adding another pudding cup, but Gintoki had only eaten half of it and picked at the rest of the things. He'd been distracted reading his Jump and he did leave for awhile, except, he hadn't taken any food with him. White feathers were slowly amassing and they outnumbered Hijikata's black ones by at least half. If it kept up the way it was, then Hijikata would have to start asking questions and he was ready to get Wan more involved if he had to.

When Gintoki returned, Hijikata was already in bed, but he wasn't sleeping. Both their futons had been freshened up and Hijikata had left some of Gintoki's food where he'd left it thinking that he might go back to it. Gintoki didn't touch it, of course, and went straight for his futon instead. Hijikata wordlessly turned out the lantern once Gintoki was settled and he waited expectantly. Nothing happened, but Hijikata gave it time and counted to ten as slowly as he could.

Still, nothing.

“Oi!” Hijikata finally snapped, kicking out with his leg and grumbling sleepy nonsensical utterances.

With a soft snort that sounded almost amused, Gintoki shifted until his wing was stretching out to encompass Hijikata's body. Once he was covered, Hijikata was able to burrow down and situate himself before quickly falling into a comfortable sleep.

**To Be Continued**

 


	25. Drink Up and Let the Cards Decide Your Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I lied, there's more than one revelation here. Can you spot them all?

The next day, Hijikata was alone in his room finishing up some things regarding the raid. A man had been arrested overnight and based on what they'd gotten out of him so far, he was one of the stragglers that had gotten away. The Shinsengumi had a better idea now as to how many people they still had to reign in and things were looking up in that area of things.

“Tosshi? Gin-san?” Kondo called as he knocked.

“Yeah?” Hijikata replied, pausing in his paperwork.

“Oh,” Kondo entered and looked around, “is Gin-san not here?”

“Not right now, he left awhile ago. He's probably with Sougo or watching bad soaps on the TV. He might even be with Sougo and they're watching bad soaps on the TV together.”

“It really is good to see you two getting along so well,” Kondo remarked, closing the door. “Always felt like you'd would be good friends if you had the chance since you're so much alike.”

“Nng,” his nose twitched right along with his wings, “we're not friends. Did you have something for me?”

“Yes, but I left it in the room – oops! I'll get it when we're done.”

“Is something the matter?”

“No, no! We're just having that meal before you leave, remember?”

“Yeah, but what about it?”

“I was thinking gyudon or a traditional donburi with maybe sunomono and tsukemono as sides. I just wanted your thoughts before I started ordering anything.”

“Well, I'm fine with all that, you know me, but I can tell you the natural perm won't touch those sides. He might pick at them, but he gets weird and usually avoids most green things.”

Kondo was fighting back a smile. “So, what do you suggest?”

“You mean something other than sweets?”

“That would be helpful, Sougo has dessert covered.”

That was slightly worrisome and basically assured that Hijikata wouldn't have any sort of dessert, but he could deal with it since he didn't typically do desserts anyway.

“Then I know he'll eat potato puffs and he likes sweet potatoes pretty well, especially after he has doused them in enough butter and shit to make it as unhealthy as possible.” Hijikata frowned down at his desk in thought. “Do not under any circumstances put an edamame salad in front of him, he'll turn into a five-year-old and use the beans as ammunition because he won't eat them and god only knows what would happen if Sougo joined in. I think for him it's just best to....” Hijikata's brows suddenly rumpled in annoyance and he looked back up at Kondo who had a hand over his mouth. “He's kinda not just an acquaintance anymore, is he?”

The laugh Kondo had been holding back came out in a blast and he grinned from ear to ear. “Is that what friendship is called now? You don't call someone your friend, you say they're not just an acquaintance anymore?”

“I only said it like that 'cause I know way too much about his eating habits for him to be just an acquaintance.”

“Yeah, that's why you call him what he is – a _friend_.”

“I don't know about that....”

“Well, if you don't fully see it yet, you will soon,” Kondo said and came around to give Hijikata's back a soft slap. “So, dinner! You were saying that for him it's best to...?”

It took Hijikata a few moments to get his thoughts collected, then he went back to listing off some things for Kondo to have at dinner that Gintoki might eat. Once they were done, Hijikata went back to work and he was actually quite productive throughout the day. By the time dinner rolled around, Hijikata had gotten everything together that he wanted and he'd completed all the things he'd put on his list in preparation for going to the apartment. He wasn't nearly as against going over there this time as he'd been the first time. A part of him was even looking forward to it, in a sense, because some quiet while being removed from all the things going on in the barracks was excellent for getting a lot of work done. Even though he couldn't go out on patrols or anything, he still got interrupted a bunch of times with questions and similar things.

The dinner was being held in the cafeteria and after Hijikata got the text from Kondo that it was ready, he went to find Gintoki. He hadn't seen much of Gintoki all day, but he didn't get the feeling he was being avoided. Hijikata checked the dojo first and found out that Gintoki had spent a lot of time in there earlier in the day, but he actually found Gintoki in the room with the TV. The television was on, but the volume was so low it could barely be heard and Gintoki was sprawled out on his stomach with a Jump in his hands.

“Am I interrupting?”

Gintoki looked up and the small smile that lit his face proved to Hijikata that he wasn't being evaded.

“Nope! Okita-kun got me the latest Jump, this is my second time through it.”

“Good issue?”

“All the issues are good, mayora.”

“Well, you ready for a break? Food's here.”

“What food?”

“The dinner, remember?”

“Oh, right, the kids are coming over.”

Hijikata nodded thinking he must have heard that from Sougo and he subtly eyed Gintoki. “Yeah. They already don't care for me much and not inviting them over for some free food seems cruel even for me.”

“They like you just fine,” Gintoki said loftily. “You'd be surprised how far a little detective work will go with them.”

“Will I have to do that again when we go back?”

“Maybe, it's hard to say for sure.”

“Something to look forward to,” Hijikata said drily. “Hurry up, I'm hungry.”

Gintoki set his Jump down and gathered the few things he had in there with him. Hijikata turned off the TV and they returned to Hijikata's room only briefly to create their small piles of things they'd take with them to the apartment. They talked throughout, too, and Gintoki gave Hijikata a few nudges when his wings started to act up.

When they walked into the cafeteria and got settled, dinner went about how Hijikata expected it to go. It was loud and messy, there were jokes and small skirmishes, it was ultimately very reflective of those who were in attendance. Because of their wings, Gintoki and Hijikata were seated on opposite sides of the table. No one had seemed to mind, care, or question Hijikata seating himself directly across from Gintoki. Not even Gintoki appeared to mind and before he took his first drink, he clinked his cup to Hijikata's.

That, however, was the only cup of sake Gintoki had. Hijikata knew it was so because he watched and he didn't miss a thing. He couldn't ever remember a time when Gintoki had shied from booze, particularly free booze, but right before Hijikata's eyes he was doing just that. Gintoki nursed the same singular cupful, one tiny sip at a time, and never sought out more.

Eating was another matter entirely and to Hijikata, this was the laziest Gintoki had ever been at pretending to be interested in what was on his plate. He poked at things, picked apart something he nibbled on, sloshed scraps messily onto Kagura's plate, and he did this very odd thing where he collected bits of morsels he obviously had no intention of eating into a little corner on the right side of his plate. Hijikata kept his own consumption of alcohol carefully monitored merely so he didn't blurt out something stupid, which he tended to do when he was so frustrated.

It had taken Gintoki no time at all to figure out how to help him and in return, Hijikata was floundering to do anything for him.

Sougo and Kagura were a disaster and it didn't matter that they were seated on separate ends of the table. Gobs of flying food wasn't an uncommon thing to see and no amount of reprimand put an end to it. Kondo had a piece of something in his hair, but he didn't notice and no one was saying anything to him, so it was just going to sit there. At one point, Yamazaki caught his eye, glanced at Gintoki, then looked back at Hijikata with a raised brow. Hijikata shrugged, he didn't have an answer for anything, and there was nothing Yamazaki could do, either.

Dinner took close to two hours and while Hijikata didn't mind such gatherings, he was pretty burnt out by the time it was over. He preferred smaller groups and too many people at once for him to be social with tended to drain him fairly quickly. So, by the time he and Gintoki were stuffing themselves into the car, Hijikata was less talkative and more introspective. Shinpachi and Kagura had left earlier and they'd wanted to walk since Shinpachi wasn't going to the apartment. Hijikata sat in the modified front seat and Gintoki sat in the back to hold his wing. Yamazaki drove them and both Gintoki and Hijikata had their coverups in their laps for when they had to get out.

The entire ride over saw Hijikata thinking about the whole thing with Gintoki and it was giving him a headache. Gintoki was smart, he had to know what he was doing and there was no way Gintoki wasn't perpetually hungry. The amount of food Hijikata now consumed was almost embarrassing and he gained no weight over it. Whatever he ate, he did so only to maintain his current standing and Gintoki's wings were larger than his own, so logically, he'd have to eat even more than Hijikata. Except, he didn't and not only that, but he also didn't seem to notice or care.

Hijikata was so close to smashing his face against the window.

So. Close.

“Are you sure you don't want the car?” Yamazaki asked as he parked.

“Positive, just keep it on hand for us.”

Yamazaki nodded and unlocked the car for them. Gintoki got out, grabbed his stuff, and headed for the stairs with his cover wrapped around him, but Hijikata lingered. He watched Gintoki go and for whatever reason, something in the back of Hijikata's mind slid into place.

“I need you to go get something for me.”

“Sure! Did you forget something?”

“Not exactly....”

Once he'd explained what he wanted from Yamazaki, Hijikata got out of the car and followed Gintoki up with his cover securely around himself. Kagura was already there and she was surprisingly easy to deal with; she'd eaten so much at dinner that she was slipping quickly into a food coma and she was so full that she didn't even have the energy to give Hijikata a hard time. The cool air filtering through the apartment kept the temperature comfortable and it didn't feel like any of the heat from outside was making its way in. To keep himself busy, Hijikata organized his things as the sun went down and he did his best to keep himself distracted.

Though, after some debate, Hijikata decided to steal Gintoki away before Yamazaki returned so they could get the preening done – but not before he quickly grabbed a couple things he needed from the kitchen. Gintoki was already in his room and the second futon was set up like it usually was, but Hijikata only had eyes for Gintoki. He was in his green pajamas and the slits in the back were extra long, like he'd had trouble getting it on and had just torn the fabric to make it easier. It didn't take much to get Gintoki to sit up and the notion of preening didn't give him as much pause anymore. Gintoki read his Jump while Hijikata looked after his wings, but he wasn't fully relaxed for the duration, Hijikata could feel the tension. Where that tension was coming from, Hijikata didn't know and didn't ask. When it was his turn, Hijikata held still and did his best to relax as much as possible. His wings only twitched bad once, but Gintoki was able to grab onto his shoulders and steady him.

“Are you alright?” Gintoki asked. “You're twitchier than normal today and you were being kinda weird during dinner, too.”

Hijikata's stomach did a nervous somersault.

“I didn't know I had a normal amount of twitchy-ness.”

“It's easy to tell when you're twitching more than usual... like today, for example.”

“Dunno why, I still can't really help it.”

Gintoki didn't say anything more and finished brushing out all of Hijikata's loose feathers. After that, Hijikata went back to Gintoki's desk to do some work, but that was mainly for show. Gintoki meandered around and disappeared somewhere, but Hijikata did his best to make it look like he wasn't paying attention to him at all. He'd had an epiphany at the end of the drive and his nerves were building at an alarming rate for two reasons. First, he thought he was finally on the right track and second, he wasn't sure if his idea was going to go well.

He'd been thinking about this all wrong, he realized. Previously, he'd been thinking of the situation as Gintoki acting this way on purpose, but Hijikata hadn't considered that he _wasn't_. Gintoki was likely aware he wasn't eating much, but why would he care if he wasn't hungry? Hijikata didn't know if he was right about this, but it was worth a shot. It was actually the dinner that had given him this idea and it wasn't the not eating part, it was the not drinking part. It got him thinking, maybe Gintoki didn't drink much for the same reason Hijikata had chosen to abstain: he hadn't wanted to say something he shouldn't.

Whatever was going on with Gintoki, he was trying to hide it and he was doing a good job of it. Such a great job, in fact, that Hijikata had once again managed to forget a very significant part of Gintoki – the part that had spent years fighting in a war that had branded him. Gintoki wasn't weak or fragile, but he was human and like anyone else, he couldn't escape himself.

After giving it considerable thought, Hijikata was ashamed to find that he'd been massively unfair to Gintoki, the file had only proved it. He treated the Shiroyasha like a myth or legend and had written so much of it off as embellishment. Maybe parts of Gintoki's escapades _were_ embellished upon to make him seem even more fierce, but either way, it was unfair. Gintoki had had a huge burden to shoulder with the war alone and being some kind of symbol on top of that could only add to the encumbrance. It added pressure – so much fucking pressure. If he failed, others would lose hope and if he stopped, everyone would notice. Gintoki was a leader in his own right and Hijikata had witnessed for himself that Gintoki was every bit as fearless and powerful as the legend he'd been made out to be.

Hijikata had thought about this recently, about how Gintoki had had to bend himself to fit the role he needed to in the war and how it had embedded within Gintoki a habit to hide pain. Hijikata knew in his gut that that was the right assumption to make, but he hadn't extended the idea enough. Pain wasn't always physical, pain could manifest itself in a lot of different ways, and Gintoki was adept at hiding _all forms of it_.

It was easy to separate the two with how Gintoki behaved, but that was no excuse. Parts of Gintoki were being ignored and Hijikata had to wonder who, if anyone, ever paid attention to them. He thought maybe Otose did, she had to know all about Gintoki, but Hijikata edged away from the idea of asking her anything. He wanted to figure this out on his own because it was important.

Hijikata's phone vibrated and he saw the text from Yamazaki saying he was on his way up. He hurried to the door and was relieved to see that Kagura had already gone to bed – at least, her door was shut. Before Yamazaki could knock, Hijikata opened the door, took what he'd brought, then dismissed him with a quick word of thanks. It looked like Yamazaki was going to ask him some questions and his nerves weren't going to allow that. He'd _maybe_ talk about it if it worked because if it didn't, then never a word would be muttered about it.

He suddenly caught a whiff of Gintoki's boots when he went to take a deep breath and he gagged quietly as he glared at them – they were _disgusting_.

With his back to the door, Hijikata held his breath and managed not to cuss too loudly as his left wing rattled back against the wood. Clutching the item Yamazaki had brought to his chest, he peeked into the kitchen and took the deep breath he needed when he saw Gintoki sitting at the table next to the air conditioner with his Jump in his hands. It must have been his third time through it, but he didn't seem to read it with any less enthusiasm despite that. Stomach rolling – something it had been doing a lot of since dinner – Hijikata pushed the flap out of the way and went in. With gusto he didn't quite feel, he sat down across from Gintoki and set his item firmly down between them.

Gintoki watched him coolly over the top of his Jump. “What's this?”

“It's a bottle of moderately pricey sake, obviously.” Gintoki continued to watch him and Hijikata tried not to shuffle. “I can't drink it all myself, so thought we could split it.” He could feel his face heating up and his wings twitched... he knew he wasn't wording this very well. “You'd, ah, probably have gone out with that madao by now or somethin', if you could, but you can't so... work with what you've got, I guess?”

Gintoki remained silent for awhile, his right brow having lifted ever so slightly, then snorted and set his Jump down before reaching for the bottle. “Get us some cups.”

“Already have them,” Hijikata replied and pulled the cups out of his yukata.

“You just carry around two cups with you? What if I'd said I don't want any?”

“Then I'd wait a bit before asking again.”

Gintoki finished working the top off the bottle and poured for both of them. “Don't like to drink alone?”

“I don't mind it, actually.”

“Then where's all this coming from?”

Hijikata's right wing shook lightly. “Nowhere, just wanted a drink. Is that... not okay?”

“It's fine,” Gintoki replied and drank half his cup. “Check under the table over there, I think I saw some cards.”

“Playing cards?”

“Well, I'm not talking about greeting cards.”

Hijikata glared at him and Gintoki smiled beatifically. He reached down and his fingers hit a small box, which he grabbed onto and brought up. They were standard playing cards and they must have been old because they were faded and after taking them out, he found that some of them were stained.

“You shuffle, I'll be right back,” Gintoki said and got up. He was gone only moments before he faithfully returned to retake his seat with a notepad and pencil in his hands. “How about two-ten-jack?”

“Yeah, I know that one.”

“What're the stakes?”

“Hmm... I'd say no betting, but since I know how often you lose at Pachinko, let's say that when I win, you have to give Shinpachi a break and do all the cleaning for three days.”

Gintoki let out a loud bark of a laugh and he shook his head. “Wait, wait, wait! Hold on! You only bet if you think you're gonna win?”

“Given your track record, I'd say victory is pretty assured.”

“Bastard,” Gintoki spluttered, but it was half a laugh. “Fine! If you're gonna make me clean, then when I win, you have to cook every meal for a whole day without using mayonnaise as any of the ingredients.”

“Now you're just trying to be an asshole! You've seen my cooking segment, I don't cook without mayo!”

“Exactly! This makes us even! But since I'm not a complete dick, unlike you, I'm only making you do it for _day_ because that's _fair_.”

“Three days is fair for cleaning!”

“Is not! That's total overkill!”

“He cleans all the time, you can do it for three measly days, Yorozuya!”

“Fine, but I'm gonna bitch at you the entire time!”

“I'd expect nothing less from you,” Hijikata teased and stopped shuffling so he could motion to Gintoki's notepad. “Gimme some paper.”

“I'm keeping score.”

“No, you'll cheat. You're keeping track of bets, I'm keeping track of wins.”

“How do I know _you_ won't cheat?”

“It's called accountability,” Hijikata explained and grabbed the pencil they were going to have to share. “If I tally which one of us wins and you jot down what the loser has to do, then we'll have to match up when we're done.” Gintoki squinted and Hijikata held up the paper to show off the T-chart that had his name on one side and Gintoki's on the other. “By the end, the amount of things you have to do will have to match how many times I've won.”

“Got it,” Gintoki replied and made a T-chart on his paper after stealing the pencil back.

“No changing the bets, either.”

“Yeah, yeah, I won't need to change anything since I'll be winning.”

“We'll see about that.”

Forty-five minutes later, Hijikata was rethinking everything and was systematically analyzing every decision that had led him to this moment. He'd lost and it wasn't even like it had been close or that he'd held his own for awhile – he'd lost about as spectacularly as any one man could lose. Gintoki had wiped the floor with him and now Hijikata had to figure out how he was going to manage to cook all three meals without using mayonnaise or killing anyone.

They'd played more than one round of the game since they'd started and Hijikata had lost most of them. So far, Hijikata had to do the aforementioned cooking for a day, but he also had to clean the toilet, do the laundry for the next load, and eat one meal without mayonnaise. He was pissed off about that last one, but Gintoki said it could be any meal of his choosing, so that made it a bit better.

Sadaharu had come in to join them maybe half an hour or so ago and Hijikata actually rather liked his company. The dog leeched off both him and Gintoki for attention, but as the night wore on, he didn't seem as interested in biting as he usually was. He lounged near them, occasionally scuttling a feather or two with his front paws, and when he wanted attention, he'd gently headbutt either of them. Gintoki would nudge him with a wing from time to time, too, and it was a clearly affectionate gesture. It was interesting to see how the two got along when everything was quiet. Sadaharu even gave Gintoki's hand a lick of commiseration when he lost big.

“These losses are adding up too quickly, do you know Seven Bridge?” Hijikata asked.

Gintoki nodded as he refilled their cups. “Yeah, but you'll have to remind me of the rules. Last time I played, some of the rules were... expanded upon and now I'm not sure which ones are real and which ones aren't.”

Hijikata snorted and slid the cards across the table for Gintoki to start shuffling since it was his turn. He'd made Gintoki roll his sleeves up so he couldn't fit any cards up them and ever since then, Hijikata felt safe with him shuffling. He went through the rules one by one and Gintoki made little noises as they were explained to him. Gintoki looked surprised by a couple rules, like he couldn't believe those were correct, but he seemed to understand by the time Hijikata was done.

“Yeah, that all makes a lot more sense than what I had in mind,” Gintoki said.

“I'm tempted to ask.”

“No, don't be. Drink more, you won't be as tempted.”

Hijikata drank from his cup. “Uh-oh, it had the opposite effect, I'm even more tempted now.”

“Too bad! I'm dealing now!” Gintoki dealt and Hijikata refilled his cup, then topped Gintoki's off. “What's on the line this time?”

“When I win, you have to give the mongrel a bath.”

“Much as I don't mind you,” Gintoki finished dealing and set the rest of the cards in the middle of the table, “do I really need to bathe you?”

Hijikata flicked one of his cards at Gintoki's head and took another from the deck to replace it. “The _dog_ , you ass! Give Sadaharu a bath!”

Sadaharu's ears perked and he lifted his head only to yawn and rest it back down on his paws.

“Alright, then when I win, you have to give Okita-kun a compliment.”

Hijikata felt like all the air had just been sucked out of the room and his wings fluffed out so violently he had to brace his arms on the table.

“What?”

“You heard! And I have to be there to hear it or it doesn't count.”

“No, I refuse!”

“You can't refuse!”

“He's gonna kill me if I do that!”

“He might try, you'll just have to be faster than he is.”

Hijikata wildly shook his head. “Pick something else!”

“No way! You can't bow out, scaredy cat!”

“You moron! This is as good as seppuku!”

“So don't lose!”

Hijikata snarled and motioned to Gintoki until he picked up his cup so they could both drink. They drained their cups and Gintoki flipped over the top card on the deck so they could begin.

Then, Hijikata lost – quite badly, too.

“You better make it a good compliment,” Gintoki said conversationally as he gathered the cards and slid them over to Hijikata. “Really heartfelt, you know? Make sure he knows how much you care.”

Hijikata's wings were a twitching mess.

“I hate you.”

“Why? You're the one that lost.”

“Argh! Okay, this time, if I win, you have to make a pass at Kondo!”

Gintoki laughed. “Sure! But what if he falls in love with me?”

“He would never!” Hijikata spat, but he was close to laughing, too. “Same rule applies, I have to see it!”

“See it or hear it?”

“Both.”

“Done! But when I win, you have to make a pass at Otae in front of Gorilla.”

All the color drained from Hijikata's face.

“I finally understand... you really want me to die.”

“He wouldn't kill you, he'd just consider you a love rival.”

“That's the same thing! You're so... so – _sadistic_!”

“Well, hello,” Gintoki waved a friendly hand, “I do happen to be a sadist. It's the same as before, just don't lose and you'll be fine.”

Hijikata poured more sake into their cups and they drank together one more time before the next round began.

-o-O-o-

Two or three hours in – he'd lost track of time, so it possibly could have been five hours – and Hijikata knew he was having fun. He'd _been_ having a good time, but it didn't really occur to him to put a name to it until he was laughing and Gintoki was screaming mutely into his arm. It wasn't the booze that was making him feel this way, either, he was genuinely enjoying himself and had been for quite some time. All the nerves he'd been feeling earlier had melted away even before the booze had kicked in and now he was comfortable.

He was also as drunk as Gintoki was, so that could have been why these revelations were coming easier to him now. They were still playing cards, kind of, but they were also making fun of each other for being unable to function properly while they did it... which was something they might have been doing the whole time. Sadaharu had left them at some point and Hijikata thought that was just as well since he'd be a safety hazard – namely, a tripping hazard – once they got up.

“We're outta booze,” Hijikata said as he upturned the empty bottle. “We shoul' prolly call it quits f'tonight.”

“Noooooo,” Gintoki sang into the table where he'd collapsed. “M'not goin' out on a loss!”

“Ya didn't lose!”

“No?”

Hijikata squinted at his paper with all the scores. “Mm... maybe ya did....”

“Redemption round!” Gintoki reached for a card and missed it completely, then stared at his empty hand, confused. “Where'd it....” He looked back at the table, spotted the card, and went for it again – he missed more spectacularly than he had the first time. “Ah... redemption can – wait, tomorrow.”

“Wha'?”

“Eh?”

“That didn't make sense.”

“It did.”

“Not. No – it didn't.”

Gintoki laughed into his hand and shook his head. “ _What_?”

“Bed,” Hijikata replied and there was a smile on his face as he wriggled to get up.

“I'll sleep here,” Gintoki mumbled and draped himself over the table again.

“No, gettup!”

Gintoki groaned, but obliged and it was a miracle when they both managed to find their feet. They were unsteady and a small wing jerk had Hijikata reaching for Gintoki's arm, which provided fleeting stability. Their wings pressed together on that side and it took a bit for them both to adjust to it. Distantly, it occurred to Hijikata that Gintoki was more drunk than he was simply because of the two of them, Hijikata had eaten way more at dinner, so he had something substantial in his stomach to absorb the alcohol better. That thought only passed through his mind when he saw that him grabbing onto Gintoki had caused him to lose enough balance that he crashed into the wall.

Were they being loud? Hijikata couldn't tell, but he knew that they were both finding their struggle to be quite amusing if the sounds they were making were any indication.

“Wait!” Gintoki fumbled his way back to the table and Hijikata went with him because at that point he couldn't just _let go_. “Need these.”

It was a good thing Hijikata was still hanging onto him because when Gintoki leaned over to grab their papers, he nearly fell. It took him multiple tries to get both of the papers and once they were in hand, the two of them started the trek to Gintoki's room. The voyage wasn't a quick one and it involved more than one stubbed toe, but after awhile – a long time, honestly – they managed to make it to their destination. Gintoki dropped the papers down above their beds, but when he went to pass out, he was going down like he meant to sleep on his back.

“Nope,” Hijikata snapped and caught him just in time, “gonna sleep on yer stomach tonight.”

“Nn... don't wanna.”

“You're gonna.” Hijikata's face scrunched. “Ya normally do, dumbass. M'not gonna be 'sponsible for your death f'you puke an' choke on it.”

He wrangled Gintoki onto his stomach and then once he was down, Hijikata crawled to his futon and fit himself underneath Gintoki's wing. There was a lot of bumping and curses, but if felt so good to be cocooned in after he was set. He propped his pillow in just the right way to keep his head tilted to the side and though he missed being able to sleep any way he wanted to, he was too drunk to find his position anything other than snug and pleasant. Drifting off to sleep was easy and he could feel one of his wings twitch beneath him, but he was already asleep enough to not care.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata woke up sometime later and he was so disoriented at first that he felt slightly nauseous. He wasn't sure how long he'd been out, but it had to have at least been a few hours because he felt less drunk and more like his impending hangover was creeping up on him. It took a lot of blinking and eye rubbing to get his mind working and he didn't understand what had woken him. At least, he didn't get it until he realized Gintoki's wing wasn't over him anymore and once he looked over, a jolt of adrenaline helped wake him up the rest of the way.

Gintoki was wedged on his side and though he couldn't drown in his own puke, his wing was _painfully_ bent backward since he was almost laying on it. It was like he'd rolled over and kept rolling until he couldn't keep going without breaking his wing off or snapping it in half. Hijikata hissed even though he couldn't feel the pain himself and quickly got up, though, he stumbled a few times as he did so.

“Fuckin' moron,” Hijikata grumbled and carefully walked around so as not to step on any feathers. He came up behind Gintoki and bent down to put a hand on his back just above his joints and put his other on Gintoki's shoulder. “C'mon, roll, ya dumb perm.”

Gintoki rolled back onto his stomach and Hijikata knew his wing had been under a lot of strain because once it was free it shuddered and twitched as it straightened out. Hijikata stood back up and would have returned to his futon had Gintoki not grunted just then. He watched Gintoki's wing slowly settle after curling back toward his body instead of staying outstretched and to Hijikata's utter bewilderment, Gintoki suddenly tried to roll back onto his side again.

“Nope,” Hijikata snapped and grabbed the back of Gintoki's neck to keep him from being able to roll. He also but a knee on Gintoki's back to make sure he stayed flat and he almost got hit with a wing as Gintoki's right one tried to flap and propel him onto his side. “Quit it! Ya can't do this, dumbass!”

He wasn't sure if Gintoki even heard him and his wing only flapped the one time before he went still. His eyes remained closed and he let out a quiet groan as an arm slid up and he sank his hand into his hair. He was breathing irregularly, Hijikata was sure he was going to puke, but after a minute or two his breaths evened out and his wings settled more naturally at his sides. Gintoki's arm was covering most of his face, so Hijikata couldn't really see his expression, but he kept exactly where he was for a few extra minutes just in case the bastard decided to try to roll again.

Only when Hijikata was sure that Gintoki wasn't going to be doing anything did he let go of the back of the bastard's neck and stand. He took only one step away before Gintoki's wing jerked and he groaned in the back of his throat. Hijikata froze and his own wings tightened against his back as they went rigid and fluffed up. Gintoki's body trembled just before his left wing snapped out in a shaky curve.

The word _nightmare_ didn't cross Hijikata's mind until Gintoki groaned again – sharply, as if he'd been struck.

Hijikata remembered what the kids had done when Gintoki had been having nightmares in the kitchen the last time they'd been here and that memory was what got Hijikata to finally move. He took three steps toward the door, intent on waking Kagura so she could deal with this, but he paused once more as the whole situation sank in. He didn't know why the thought of handling this one himself was so foreboding, but it shouldn't be so bad that he felt he had to wake a kid to do it for him. His hangover manifested in a sharp headache and that wasn't helping his thought process in the least.

There was another thump as one of Gintoki's wings hit something, maybe the floor, and it was followed by the sound of a sigh that was too harsh. Whirling around, Hijikata walked determinedly back to Gintoki and he sat heavily down next to him near his head and right shoulder so neither of Gintoki's wings could clip him. Gintoki's shoulders were hunched and his fingers were twitching; the hand he had in his hair was still there and his fingers were twisting and pulling.

“Don't do that,” Hijikata muttered and it felt better to talk to Gintoki even though he couldn't hear.

He touched Gintoki's hand first, since that seemed the most pragmatic thing do to, and untangled his fingers from his hair. He wasn't entirely sure what should come next and Gintoki's wings were still twitching, so Hijikata placed a hand on his hunched shoulders. He scooted closer so he wouldn't have to reach as far and his back went rigid when he felt the knobs of Gintoki's spine beneath his fingers. He couldn't imagine Gintoki being okay with this if he were awake and perhaps that was the biggest reason Hijikata felt so uncomfortable. Gintoki would be fine if it were the kids, but if he woke up and found Hijikata next to him like this... surely that wouldn't be welcome? Or would it?

“You're not allowed to wake up, okay?”

Gintoki didn't respond, of course, and Hijikata slowly slid his hand down to the juncture of Gintoki's wings. The kids had just sat with him... had they done something like this? Hijikata hadn't stayed to see and now, he wished he had. He moved his hand back up to Gintoki's neck and the entire time, it was difficult to put it out of his mind that this was _Gintoki_. If it were Kondo or even Sougo, Hijikata knew he wouldn't be having this much trouble, but that it was Gintoki made such a difference. It was so awkward, especially since he was cradling Gintoki's wrist in his other hand to keep it from returning to his hair.

However, as Gintoki continued to sleep, Hijikata stopped thinking too much about anything and just did what he felt he should. He rubbed Gintoki's back slowly from his wings to his neck and stayed along the same path each time until the knobs of Gintoki's spine became somewhat familiar. Gintoki wasn't putting up much of a struggle, so Hijikata had an easy time of subduing him and it was unnerving to feel someone like Gintoki shake so much. A lot of the trembling was coming from the way Gintoki's wings were reacting to his nightmares, but that really didn't make it any less unsettling.

“You're usually so much steadier,” Hijikata said and it was true.

Gintoki was typically very solid and whenever Hijikata ran into him or when his wings jerked, Gintoki was a rooted presence. He was loud and sometimes ridiculous, but he'd proven himself to be dependable. Thinking back, Hijikata could remember so many occasions where Gintoki's wings or hands had anchored him. It was more than that, too, because Gintoki could have teased him or made fun of him any one of those times, but he rarely had. Despite how loud he could be, Gintoki _did_ understand what discretion was and... he'd been watching out for Hijikata for a long time, hadn't he?

Somewhere underneath the hangover headache, Hijikata remembered sitting downstairs and falling out of his chair. Gintoki had fallen with him, but there hadn't been any reason for him to fall, not that Hijikata could recall.

Hijikata's hand began to deviate as he thought and the longer Gintoki remained asleep, the more relaxed Hijikata became. Gintoki's hair was soft and warm to his touch and the curls wrapped gently around Hijikata's fingers. He traced the largest knob of Gintoki's spine and spread his fingers over the back of Gintoki's neck. He didn't squeeze, but it made his heart speed up just to have Gintoki's neck in his hand.

Gintoki's yukata was somewhat loose from his struggling earlier and thanks to that, it showed off more skin. Curious, Hijikata slipped his hand within the yukata until he felt a familiar scar. He followed the raised bump with his pointer and middle finger and it was pretty surreal to know that he'd marked Gintoki permanently. No matter where Gintoki went, he carried around with him a badge that the two of them had met.

Since he was already there, Hijikata felt around for the mark he'd accidentally burned into Gintoki's skin, but he couldn't feel it. Gintoki didn't move under the ministrations, he only sighed and breathed deep, one of the surest signs of sleep. The trembling had ceased in small increments and technically, Hijikata's purpose was mostly done, but he didn't move. It felt good to sit and just be with someone. He was also convinced that once he got up, Gintoki would try to roll and the whole thing would start over again.

So, Hijikata stayed put and kept doing what he was doing while his mind wandered. He thought about a lot of things and most of them involved Gintoki. All the jumping out of trees, spending time in the dojo, and working his new muscles to make them stronger, they were each part of a connection. Hijikata had his faction that he could still do things for and he'd been frustrated when it had felt like all he could offer was paperwork and input in meetings. Gintoki couldn't even do that much and such a large part of what he used to do had been taken from him. Hijikata had witnessed before what it was like when someone went into a funk and he was ashamed it'd taken him this long to see it in Gintoki. He should have recognized it the first day Gintoki lost interest in some of his staple food items, honestly.

He and Gintoki were the _same_.

The only difference was that when Hijikata got overly frustrated and down, he'd explode and let it all out whereas Gintoki endured silently and kept it all to himself. That was how Gintoki handled most things, Hijikata realized.

Hijikata stayed put until his ass fell asleep and he had to pee so bad it hurt. Only then did he get up and by that time, Gintoki was quiet and motionless. With his butt tingling as the blood flow returned to it, Hijikata waited a minute or two to make sure Gintoki wasn't going to move before hightailing it to the bathroom before he pissed himself. He was wobbly on his feet and he took something for his headache while he was out, but the adrenaline earlier had made this hangover a little easier on him than it probably would have been.

When Hijikata returned from the bathroom, he was pleased to see that Gintoki hadn't moved. Well, he _had_ , but the only change was that his hand, the one Hijikata had been keeping immobile, was resting on his pillow beside his head. It was kind of pressed to his mouth, but he at least looked comfortable as opposed to haunted.

Hijikata knew he couldn't go back to sleep, so he went and sat by the window, which he cracked open enough to have a smoke without letting too much cold air out. He was unnaturally unsettled, his usually steady hands were a little less steady than they should have been. He wasn't shaking or anything, but he wasn't coordinated – twitchy came to mind. He felt wrong, but knew he hadn't done anything to warrant the feeling. Again, had it been Kondo or Sougo, Hijikata wouldn't have been bothered by that at all, so, what made Gintoki so different?

The only thing Hijikata could think was that he knew Kondo and Sougo would be okay with it if they found out. Granted, Sougo would make a fuss, but as a whole, he wouldn't be truly upset. Hijikata didn't know how Gintoki would feel about being touched like that by him and Hijikata felt like he'd overstepped a boundary without consent. He hadn't done anything with ill intention, but that didn't alleviate any of his uneasiness or trace amounts of guilt.

Gintoki's wing twitched and Hijikata froze, ready to snuff out his cigarette if need be. There was no more movement, though, just a tiny twitch and then silence again. Hijikata ran a hand through his hair and kept it there as he smoked. He took a deep breath between puffs and couldn't get the knots in his gut to untie themselves. His palms were slightly sweaty and when he finished his cigarette, he put it out and a small shudder went up his back. His wings rustled under the feeling, but he wasn't cold and so didn't return to his futon.

Lighting up another cigarette, Hijikata kept an eye on Gintoki and managed to get halfway through his smoke before he was able to pinpoint exactly why he felt the way he did.

Kondo had been right all along.

**To Be Continued**

 


	26. The Importance of Half a Feather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mutiny!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Wanted to do another quick little shoutout and first of all, thank you so much for sticking with me through fics like this one! I know my anxiety gets in the way of posting things even when they're finished and I apologize for that, but thank you for your patience! There's still a lot more to come with this fic and several others!
> 
> The second reason for this is that I'd like to once again mention that this, like my other fics, is a GinHiji AND HijiGin fic. Both will top. Both will bottom. That is the way I enjoy writing them. I don't appreciate being told things like, "It seems like you are going for GinHiji and not HijiGin while I prefer HijiGin, making me a little unsure if I want to continue with the story...yeah, I prefer Gin to be the bottom." If any of you don't wish to continue with this fic because it's both GinHiji and HijiGin, I fully respect that! But I won't be altering this fic to please any reader in order to keep them reading and I will continue to write what makes me happy and I'll continue to stay true to their characters. 
> 
> Sorry for tacking this onto the fic, it was just something that really needed to be said again. Once more, thank you all and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

**(([Art for this chapter by Erengelion! <3](http://erengelion.tumblr.com/)))**

The next time Hijikata woke up, he looked over at Gintoki right away and breathed easier seeing him unmoved and still on his stomach. His wings were folded neatly and it didn't look like he'd even moved a centimeter through the rest of the night. Hijikata had eventually tired himself out enough to sleep, but his eyes felt sore and dry. He didn't feel great thanks to the vestiges of the hangover, but when he got up, he didn't feel dizzy or anything.

He'd slept until ten and while normally he'd be shocked by that, he wasn't at all surprised given the night he'd just had. Kagura was already awake and Hijikata mumbled something to her on his way to the bathroom. As always, his wings were cramped in tight to get to the toilet and since he knew he looked like crap, he spent extra time scrubbing his face in the next room over. It probably wasn't going to help, but he could hardly care. The action gave him time to figure out what he wanted to do for the day and it was actually a very easy series of things to decide on.

He was pleased, then, to find that Shinpachi had arrived while he'd been washing up. He needed both kids to complete one of the things he had on his mind for the day. Stretching his wings out wide, he pushed them until they ached, then brought them back in. He went over to Gintoki's desk and perched himself in the chair on the pillow that was still there for him.

“You two! Front and center!”

“We're not your subordinates,” Kagura spat from the sofa.

“You're not, no, but this is important.”

Shinpachi approached and looked around. “Where's Gin-san?”

“It's barely ten-thirty, he's still sleeping.”

Kagura peered over the sofa. “You look gross.”

“I'm not gross, I'm slightly hungover.”

“You drank last night?” Shinpachi asked, confused. “You and Gin-san?”

Hijikata nodded and Kagura scoffed, “No wonder there were cards all over the table! You two left such a mess!”

“I'll clean that up when I go in there.”

“Mother will be watching!”

“What'd you want from us?” Shinpachi inquired.

Hijikata took a deep breath and then calmly explained to them what was on his mind. Kagura wandered closer and Shinpachi pushed his glasses up higher on his nose – this was serious business they were discussing.

“This needs to be done,” Shinpachi said gravely.

“It seems to be for the greater good,” Hijikata intoned.

Shinpachi and Kagura lowered their heads in a moment of silent agreement and it was nice to have something they could all bond over.

“We should have a signal,” Kagura said when the moment was over. “So we all know when to do it.”

“That's fine,” Hijikata concurred.

“I wasn't asking your permission.”

“It should be this afternoon,” Shinpachi said and gave Kagura a little push that wiped the wrinkle off her brow. “He hits harder when he's hungover. Kagura and I have an errand soon, so we could do it when she and I get back.”

“Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

-o-O-o-

Gintoki was awake.

From Hijikata's estimation, he had no recollection of the night before after they'd gone to bed and his hangover was only moderate. He'd done much the same thing Hijikata had done when he'd gone to the restroom and washed his face, but other than yawning a lot, he didn't seem like he was doing too badly. Hijikata made sure to give him plenty of space and allowed him to wake up on his own terms.

While Gintoki messed around and did what he needed to do to wake up, Hijikata chipped away at the papers he'd brought over with him. He'd been communicating with Yamazaki, too, and they'd developed a small plan for later in the afternoon.

“I think we need to talk about this.”

Hijikata looked at the familiar paper that Gintoki put on the desk and immediately smirked.

“What's there to talk about? They match up with the other sheet, don't they?”

“Yeah... but I don't remember some of them.”

“This is your handwriting, isn't it?”

“It is.”

“So, where's the problem?” Hijikata picked up the list and perused it. He had more than Gintoki did, but only by a couple. “Not backing out, are you?”

“Of course not! I just wanted to make sure they were all right.”

“They look right to me, what's wrong with them?”

Gintoki's mouth kicked up at the side. “Not a damn thing. I guess I just – I didn't think you'd actually agree to these.”

“I'm not looking forward to them, especially this one,” he pointed to the one where he had to compliment Sougo, “but a bet is a bet.”

“Then, one last question.”

“What?”

“Why Gorilla?”

Hijikata shrugged and handed the sheet back. “I was drunk and he was the first person to come to mind.”

“Fine with me,” Gintoki replied, amused. “But I don't see breakfast anywhere.”

“Yeah, because it's after noon and I didn't want to hear you bitch about not seeing me make the food, so I'm starting the cooking one tomorrow.”

“Have you thought at all about what you're making us?”

“No... I'm not a cook.”

“You're not allowed to make us sick, either.”

Hijikata snorted. “You should've made that part of the bet in that case because I can make no promises. You saw me with the onigiri we made, I'm not a chef and without mayonnaise, I'm even less of one.”

“I do recall your cooking segment being just mayonnaise on a plate.”

“That's close to the most I can do, so get ready.”

“At least no matter what you make, Kagura will be able to stomach it even if I can't.”

“But you'll try everything?” Hijikata asked, his eyes narrowing.

“I'm pretty obligated to, I think,” Gintoki replied and nodded. “Trying doesn't require me to choke everything down.”

“As long as you try everything, I'm good with that. How's the hangover?”

“Honestly... I don't really have one. I had a headache earlier and felt a little queasy, but it went away not long after I woke up.” Gintoki took a seat on the sofa to the left of the desk so they could still see each other. “Come to think of it, ever since these wings showed up, things like hangovers aren't as bad as they used to be.”

“I thought the same, actually.”

“Good, so it's not just me!”

“Not this time.” Gintoki leaned in closer, his eyes jumping around Hijikata's face, and he tilted his head to the side slightly. “What?”

“Your hair is getting long.”

Hijikata raised a brow and scoffed, “Have you seen yourself? You're more like a sheepdog these days and soon I'll be confused on why there are suddenly two Sadaharus.”

Gintoki laughed and reached up to touch his curls, which actually really were getting a bit out of hand. Hijikata had known his own hair was growing since his bangs were in his eyes more than they ever should be, but he hadn't considered doing anything about it.

“You know how to cut it?”

“I...” Hijikata blinked rapidly, “yes?”

“Good, I'll go get my hair wet. There should be some scissors in that top drawer there on your right.”

Gintoki was gone before Hijikata could say anything and though his mouth was open to speak, he realized he had nothing to say. He could cut hair just fine and the idea of cutting Gintoki's didn't bother him at all, so there was nothing to protest. Opening the drawer Gintoki had mentioned, Hijikata searched until he found the scissors and he tested their sharpness on some paper. He'd noticed the length of Gintoki's when his fingers had been tangled in it, but he hadn't thought much of it at the time – especially considering his state of mind.

“Ready!”

Gintoki sat down and spread his wings along the length of the sofa so he had room to lean back. He'd draped a towel around him shoulders to catch the hair and it absorbed the water dripping from him as well. Hijikata saw a loose feather on the ridge of Gintoki's wing and without thinking, he reached out to brush it off. Gintoki glanced at his hand when it made contact, but he was otherwise unconcerned with it and didn't flinch or tense at the unexpected touch.

That small detail made Hijikata feel so much better about what he'd done last night.

“How short do you wanna go?”

Gintoki hummed and reached up to run his fingers through his own hair. Using two fingers, his pointer and middle, he followed along a tuft and stopped a certain distance away from the ends.

“Here, I guess?”

“You sure you want that much off?”

“It's hot outside and my hair still grows fast at this age, I'm not balding yet.”

Hijikata ran his fingers through Gintoki's curly hair a few times to get the strands all going the way he wanted, then he started cutting. Gintoki made a theatrical panicked noise after the first snip, but chuckled when Hijikata flicked the back of his neck. Even wet, permy hair wasn't easy to cut and so most of Hijikata's time was spent trying to get the strands he needed because they kept curling out of his grasp. He only cussed once, which sent Gintoki into a small panic, but after some reassurances, he quieted again. Hijikata was very focused on what he was doing, but when he got about halfway, he got slightly distracted by something.

“Where'd I burn you?”

Gintoki slid a hand back and pushed the towel aside to show off more of his neck and expose his shoulder.

“Somewhere around here, I think.”

Hijikata pulled the clothing and towel to keep them out of the way and then he touched. He found the faint mark that had once been seared skin and with a few more days it'd disappear completely. Gintoki didn't seem bothered by the contact and the relief that came with that knowledge untied one of the knots in Hijikata's stomach.

“Can you see it?”

“Yeah, but it's almost gone.”

“I care more about the sunburn.”

“You're not peeling anymore.”

“Thankfully.”

Hijikata kept his hand where it was on Gintoki's skin and slid it over to the scar on his shoulder.

“I didn't know this had cut so deep.”

“It was a pretty good hit given the angle. I wasn't expecting you to be that good with a sword.”

Hijikata twitched. “What gave you the idea that I wasn't?”

“In the hotel when you threw yourself forward and stabbed the wall.”

“I was aiming for _you_!”

“Exactly! You were easy to dodge, so I assumed you were like any other cop.”

“Until I sliced you,” Hijikata surmised and lightly scratched the scar with his nail – Gintoki's wing on that side bobbed at the fold.

Gintoki laughed. “Yeah, until then. It takes some kind of skill to do what you did with that weird flip... thing.”

“Careful, that almost sounds like a compliment.”

“It isn't,” Gintoki corrected and looked over his shoulder, his one visible eye warm. “You happened to get a lucky shot at a time when I was underestimating you.” He turned back to face front and motioned for Hijikata to keep cutting. There was a frown on Hijikata's face as he moved the yukata and towel back into place and he tried to think of something to say to that. “However,” Gintoki went on softly, “if I said I know you'd be able to land a hit on me if we fought like that again, _then_ you could take that as a compliment.”

Hijikata contemplated that, his fingers brushing some hair away from the back of Gintoki's neck and he swallowed against his dry throat.

“Is that what you're saying?”

“What do you think?” Gintoki shot back and it was clearly a rhetorical question.

Hijikata paused briefly with some hair between his fingers that he was preparing to cut and in a way reminiscent of when they'd woken up on the ground, Hijikata gave the hair a gentle tug. For Gintoki to say something so bluntly instead of giving Hijikata one of his usual highly cryptic answers... it felt nice. He was glad Gintoki was facing forward again and he might have done that on purpose for both of their sakes – it was difficult to tell with Gintoki.

“Bet you're just saying that 'cause I've got scissors in my hand,” Hijikata mumbled, but it was halfhearted.

“We're back to bets now, are we?”

“No!” Hijikata hastily amended and cut the excess hair from the tuft he still had. “I've got enough shit to do, I'm done with making wagers for awhile.”

“You really wanted me to clean, you gave me that one until I finally lost.”

“Your kid deserves a break.”

“Yeah, well, at least I lost when it was just one day instead of two or three.”

Hijikata shook his head. “You got lucky way too many times last night.”

“Now if I only I could do that with Pachinko!”

“That'll be the day.” Hijikata tugged on Gintoki's hair, saying, “Tilt your head back, I need to do your bangs.”

Gintoki leaned his head back as far as it could go and stared up at the ceiling after glancing at Hijikata quickly. It was a bit difficult to do his bangs at this angle, but Hijikata was careful and did one small tuft at a time. He hadn't known until then just how hard curly hair was to deal with and it was uncooperative the entire time Hijikata worked. Eventually, Gintoki closed his eyes and his eyelashes, when Hijikata looked, were a stark contrast against his cheek. Hijikata tried to keep any of the cut hair from falling into his face, but despite his best efforts, he still had to brush it off of Gintoki's forehead, eyes, cheeks, and nose every so often. All throughout, Gintoki didn't complain or move, he just continued to hold still.

“There, that should do it.”

“Great,” Gintoki said cheerfully and stood. “You're next!”

Seeing no point in arguing, Hijikata sighed to himself and went off to the bathroom to rinse his hair while Gintoki cleaned up the clippings. At least, that was what he hoped Gintoki was doing, but he could also easily see Gintoki leaving it for someone else. Hijikata used the shower head to soak his hair without getting his clothes wet and then he wrapped a towel around himself the same way Gintoki had to stop the water from getting everywhere. He returned to the sofa and was pleased to find that the clippings had been gathered and disposed of.

“Are you sure you know what you're doin'?” Hijikata asked and sat down where he was being directed.

“Of course! Who do you think cuts Kagura's hair? I do Shinpachi's sometimes, too, it's not exactly like we have enough money to go to the barber very often and when we do, it's mostly just to get my hair under control since I don't trust either of them with it.”

“Do you trim the dog, too?”

“Sometimes.”

“T'ch, seriously?”

“He's furry! He gets hot easily!”

“If there are any bald spots, I'll kill ya.”

“Would you quit freaking out? Your precious v-cut will be intact! I'll even prove it'll be protected!”

Before Hijikata could ask, Gintoki was pulling his head back and gathering Hijikata's bangs together. Where he'd gotten the tie, Hijikata didn't know, but suddenly, his v-cut was bound in a tiny ponytail and was sticking slightly out from his forehead.

“Uhm....”

“There!” Gintoki chirped. “There's no way it'll get cut on accident, so relax already!”

“I'm sure I look ridiculous.”

“I'm sure I've seen worse,” Gintoki quipped and gave Hijikata's shoulder a gentle squeeze. “It'll be fine.”

For all of Hijikata's complaints, he quickly found that he really didn't have anything to worry about. Gintoki knew what he was doing once he'd been directed on how short Hijikata wanted it and he cut with an easy confidence.

“Since you're waiting for tomorrow to start cashing in your losses, I think I'll do the same.”

Hijikata smiled to himself. “If you tried cleaning the apartment this late in the day, I'd call bullshit and make you do it all over again.”

“You can't make me do anything.”

“That's where you're wrong, Yorozuya.”

Gintoki pointedly snapped the scissors. “I'm armed, don't forget.”

“You're armed even without the scissors, but it makes no difference.”

“Someone's feeling daring today,” Gintoki noted with an amused hum.

“It's no different than any other day for this Vice-Commander.”

“Bold words.”

“Next time we're at the barracks I'm going to accompany you to the dojo and I'll show you just how much I can back up those words.”

Gintoki laughed and gently snipped some hair around Hijikata's right ear. “We'll have to see about that... the last time you were in there with me didn't really prove much.”

“That time doesn't count.”

“No? I think it counts plenty.”

“Wing issues don't count!”

Touching Hijikata's right wing along the ridge, Gintoki gave it a pat. “With or without these wings, you're no less the Vice-Commander, so that time in the dojo definitely counts.”

Hijikata felt the tips of his ears get warm and for a time, he couldn't think of anything to say. Gintoki went back to cutting his hair and it occurred to Hijikata that Gintoki had probably said that mainly because he knew it would shut Hijikata up. Yet, despite that, a part of Hijikata remained warmed by the sentiment – it was amazing the power of simply being acknowledged held.

“I'll have to redeem myself, then.”

“That sounds more like it,” Gintoki agreed. “If you even can.”

The teasing in his tone was unmistakable and it started off a whole string of lighthearted jabs at one another. It only stopped when Gintoki walked around to the front of the sofa and released Hijikata's bangs so he could cut them. Technically, Hijikata wouldn't mind cutting his own bangs, but he didn't say anything, he just let Gintoki do them. They were both silent as Gintoki did this and Hijikata would have closed his eyes, but he didn't need to. Gintoki was being very mindful of the scissors and didn't let any of the clippings get anywhere near Hijikata's eyes.

“That looks good,” Gintoki said after stepping back and surveying his work. “But you have to clean up your own hair.”

Hijikata grumbled, but figured that if Gintoki did it, then he probably should, too. He used the towel to collect most of it and he was almost done when he looked up and blanched.

“What're you doing? Don't do that!” Hijikata rushed forward, but Gintoki was too quick and snipped the feather he'd picked out on his wing in half. He grabbed Gintoki's wrist anyway and took the scissors from him. “Why the _hell_ would you do that, hah?”

“I was just checking something! Yeesh! Overreact much?” Gintoki laughed and picked up the fallen half of his feather. “You know, it's weird. Yanking them out hurts, burning them reeks, but cut one in half and you barely feel a thing.”

“It didn't hurt?”

“I felt something, but it was like clipping a fingernail.”

Hijikata let go of his wrist and gently touched the mutilated feather that was still attached to Gintoki's wing. The cut was diagonal and was close to the center of the feather, but the feather itself still looked intact at the root and healthy. Still, Hijikata followed the feather to the end to where it was attached and made sure there were no unseen adverse effects. Gintoki didn't move and watched him curiously, but for once, Hijikata was unconcerned with the staring.

“Don't do that again.”

“I won't need to now that I know what it does,” Gintoki replied and shoved the second half of the feather into Hijikata's ear.

Hijikata shooed it away and stood up straight to give Gintoki a light shove. “A little warning would've been nice.”

Gintoki frowned. “It was just a feather.”

“Yeah, but we don't know enough about these wings to do things like that.”

“And we wouldn't know that it doesn't hurt when they're cut in half unless I'd done that,” Gintoki reasoned. “I'd rather know now than find out when I'm in the middle of something.”

“I don't fault your reasoning, only your method.”

“Do you know another way to cut a feather in half? The scissors seemed to do the job just fine.”

Hijikata sighed and gripped the scissors and partial feather tightly in either hand. They were facing one another and irritation had made them step closer, so much so that they were right in each other's faces.

“Since we didn't know what would happen, it would've been a smart move to have Wan here or even consult him first.”

“Cutting a feather wasn't going to kill me.”

“Maybe it could have,” Hijikata retorted.

“That seems a bit over the top....”

“For just a feather, yeah, but asking you to say something when you wanna do things like this isn't.”

Gintoki's expression cleared and the irritation left him. “Oh. This isn't about the feather.”

“It is, but not completely, no.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Gintoki nodded, seeming slightly unsure, and sat down on the sofa. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Hijikata said pointlessly and the whole thing, all the tension, dissolved.

They might have just reached an understanding of some sort, but Hijikata wasn't totally sure and he wasn't going to ask. The conversation was over and they easily fell into doing their own things. Hijikata stopped by the mirror to check himself out before returning to Gintoki's desk and he found he had nothing to nitpick about. His hair was even and neatly trimmed with no bald patch to be seen – he was pleased with the results. He put the feather and scissors away into the drawer where he wouldn't have to look at them and got started on his work.

Kagura and Shinpachi returned about an hour later and after greeting Gintoki, they both subtly looked to Hijikata. He pretended to stretch and gave them a brief okay sign that he knew neither of them missed. Shinpachi disappeared to get the supplies ready and Kagura waited like a predator waiting to pounce. Hijikata pretended to do work and Gintoki was none-the-wiser as he continued reading his Jump like all was right with the world. When Shinpachi reappeared, Hijikata got up and moved into position, then signaled to Kagura to do her thing.

“Gin-chan! I need help with my door, it won't close!”

“Is it stuck?”

“I don't know, that's why I'm asking you for help.”

He made a sound and placed his Jump on the table in front of him before getting up. He yawned and scratched his arm – he was such an unsuspecting fool. He came around the sofa and just before he entered the hallway, Kagura shoved him, Shinpachi tripped him, and Hijikata threw himself down on top of him. Gintoki barely had time to scream and then Hijikata was there to keep him pinned on his back where his wings wouldn't be able to get any air under them since they were pressed to the floor.

“Hold still!”

“No!”

“This is for your own good!”

“You don't know what's good for me!”

Gintoki reached up to shove Hijikata off, but he grabbed his wrists and stayed his hands. Hijikata almost lost his balance, but for once, his wings worked with him and he was able to use them to gain extra leverage by flapping them. He knew he'd be in trouble if Gintoki was able to get any air beneath his wings, so the main goal was to keep Gintoki down flat on his back and already that was a struggle.

“You conspired with my kids! How dare you! This is a _mutiny_!”

“Just let them clean your damn feet!”

Hijikata was straddling Gintoki's body along his lower stomach and he wasn't budging no matter how much Gintoki struggled. He still had Gintoki's arms by the wrist, but Hijikata couldn't get enough to put them on the floor and hold them still. Gintoki screamed and flailed, but then a sudden burst of laughter caught them both off guard.

“Are you... ticklish?”

“No!” Gintoki yelled and he went right back to scowling and fighting.

“There's something growing next to his little toe!” Kagura called.

“No, there isn't! Ther – ah! Don't pull on it like that!”

“I'm cleaning!”

“That is not cleaning, you _monster_! That's my _toe_!”

“Just give in,” Hijikata advised and held Gintoki's wrists tighter to hold his arms back against another push, “it's three against one!”

“I'm the protagonist! I don't know when to quit!”

Hijikata yelped as Gintoki surged upward, but once again, his wings proved useful for him and he slammed Gintoki back down. They grappled back and forth and a whole myriad of emotions transitioned across Gintoki's face in the span of seconds. It was almost like he couldn't quite control himself under the onslaught and for Hijikata, it was rather fascinating to witness. To see so many emotions crossing Gintoki's face, it was entertaining and there was something appealing about seeing Gintoki so unable to control himself.

“I'll never forget this!” Gintoki vowed and Hijikata felt him kick.

Kagura caterwauled as a result and Shinpachi snapped, “Try that again and your Jumps will be missing some pages!”

“Ahh! No! You wouldn't!”

“Kick us and find out how much I would!”

Gintoki's eyes went wider and he looked at Hijikata accusingly. “What did you do to them? How much are you paying them?”

“I offered them nothing for this!”

“You bewitched them!”

“Your feet _reek_! We all think so!”

Kagura added, “The last time I smelled your boots I passed out for five minutes straight!”

“That's a lie!” Gintoki hollered and he and Hijikata had a squabble with their arms. “You're all – _ahhh_! Hahh – is that a _sponge_? What's –”

Shinpachi cut in, “Don't worry about what that is!”

“My toes are attached to me! They're _attached_! Stop yanking!”

“Just let them do what they need to!” Hijikata chastised.

“Easy for you to say!”

“It's – _oof_!”

Hijikata's wings suddenly jerked and Gintoki screamed as Hijikata's hands slammed down on either side of his head. Gintoki had both hands on Hijikata's hips to steady him and all of Gintoki's struggles had ceased. Panting lightly, they stared at each other and remained where they were, unable to move.     

A moment later, Shinpachi announced, “Finished!”

“Release the winged beast!” Kagura trumpeted.

“Sorry,” Hijikata mumbled and swung his leg over the right side.

“You should be,” Gintoki replied gruffly. “Coercing my kids into a mutiny is a big offense.”

“I'm going to go take care of the boots now,” Shinpachi said.

Gintoki got up and glared at him. “As long as you leave my Jumps alone.”

“You're not going to make me feel bad,” Shinpachi informed him. “I'm only doing what needs to be done.”

“Mutineer.”

Hijikata retreated to Gintoki's desk and Gintoki followed the kids to the front door where the vile boots were sitting. The three of them got lost in fighting and then they must have gone downstairs to the bar because within five minutes, Hijikata was alone to work.

-o-O-o-

A few hours later, Gintoki and Kagura came back, but Shinpachi wasn't with them. Kagura disappeared with Sadaharu, but not before she came over and stole part of the snack Hijikata was munching on.

“I'm gonna take a bath!” Gintoki called and Hijikata glanced up at him.

“You sure you need one? Your feet are already taken care of, after all.”

Gintoki shot him a dirty look for that. “Shut up, mayora.”

Hijikata chuckled to himself and forged on with his work, which was going smoothly and at this rate, he'd definitely finish it all before the end of the day. It was Yamazaki's text that reminded Hijikata of their plan and since he'd be heading over soon, Hijikata went and got the notepad he and Gintoki had used the night before. He wrote several things down and unfortunately for Gintoki, Hijikata didn't have time to wait for him to finish in the bath.

“Oi!” Hijikata knocked on the door. “Natural perm!”

“What?”

“Yamazaki texted –”

“What?”

“I'm not gonna yell through this goddamn door!”

“So come in!”

Hijikata opened the door and a huge wall of steam came billowing out. It hit him right in the face, made it hard to breathe, and he had to flap his wings a few times to get it to disperse. Gintoki was sitting in the tub with his knees to his chest and there was a mound of bubbles in the tub in front of him. On top of his head was a pink shower cap and Hijikata's gaze lingered on that, but only because it made him chortle.

“Close the door! You're lettin' all my heat out!”

“How have you not passed out yet?” Hijikata asked and pulled his wings in close to make room for the door to close. “You've been in here a long time.”

“Have I?” He raised his hands and studied them. “Guess I am kinda pruney.”

“What've you been doin'?”

He blew some bubbles into the air and shrugged. “Nothing? Just sitting. You... see the bubbles, right?”

“Yeah....”

“What did you need?”

“Ah, Yamazaki texted and he's heading to the store soon, you need anything?”

Gintoki wrapped his arms around his legs and looked up to the ceiling in thought. All the scars that could be seen above the bubbles were pinker than usual thanks to the heat and it really highlighted their many different shapes. Briefly, Hijikata wondered where Gintoki had gotten each one and maybe one of these days he'd actually ask Gintoki about some of them.

“Sukonbu?”

Hijikata blinked and raised the notepad. “Already on the list.”

“Strawberry milk?”

“Check.”

“Parfait?”

“I'm not gonna ask him to stop somewhere to pick you up a parfait.”

“He can't get the makings?”

Hijikata considered it and eventually scoffed before jotting some of the ingredients down. “Fine, but you have to gimme stuff other than sweets.”

“Mm... well, that makes this tougher. What do you have down so far?”

“Stuff for sushi and a hot pot.”

“No mayo?”

“Yamazaki wouldn't dare show up without mayo.”

Gintoki half-smiled. “So, is that what you're making us? Sushi and a hot pot?”

“I'm not telling you what I'm making, it's going to be a surprise.”

“It'll probably be a surprise to you, too.”

“Keep it up with that attitude and I'll make sure you find all kinds of _surprises_ in your food.”

This time, Gintoki outright laughed. “I'll be sure to inspect it thoroughly before I eat.”

“It's possible that not even that will be enough to save you.”

“I'm looking forward to this more and more,” Gintoki confessed. “Is a grocery list all you need?”

“Yeah.”

Gintoki nodded and together, they went through some more things to add. A lot of the items, Hijikata noticed, weren't things Gintoki was known to eat, they were things Shinpachi, Kagura, or himself tended to eat. Gintoki would just say them to make sure Hijikata had them on the list or confirm that they had it in the apartment already.

“You're staring,” Gintoki said during a short lull.

“Only because of the shower cap.”

Gintoki's eyes crossed as he looked up. “Oh, that.”

“Yeah, that. Why're you wearing one?”

“To keep my hair from getting wet, of course.” Hijikata kept watching and waited for Gintoki to elaborate, which he did after a sigh. “There's a lot of heat in here, mayora. With great heat comes great frizz and my hair gets less frizzy if it's dry and subjected to heat than when it's wet.”

“The woes of a perm.”

“Now you're getting it!”

Hijikata smirked and leaned back against the wall. “My hair doesn't frizz unless it's forced to. Heat doesn't bother it and neither does cold.” Gintoki was scowling at him, his eyes cold and dead fish like. “It just remains flat and easy to manage all year round.”

“Yeah, yeah, your hair is as flat as your chest, I get it. That must be _so_ nice for you, I'm _so_ pleased the hair gods decided to bless you with easily manageable hair.” Outside the bathroom, the phone started ringing and Gintoki asked, “Could you get that?”

“No, it's your place, you should get it. You or Kagura.”

“I'm busy and Ka-chan is out with Sadaharu, remember?” He threw a bubbly projective Hijikata's way, but it didn't get close enough to hit him. “Just go answer it!”

Snorting, Hijikata left the bathroom and quickly got to the phone before it stopped ringing.

“Hel – er! Yorozuya residents?”

Hijikata slapped a hand over his face once the messed up and awkward greeting left his mouth.

“ _Hijikata-san!_ ” Shinpachi yelled into the phone.

“Ack – what?”

“ _I need to ask you something!_ ”

“What's wrong?”

“ _I left my walkman over there! Could you find it and keep it safe until tomorrow?_ ”

“Keep it safe?”

“ _Something always happens to it! Gin-san steps on it, Kagura kicks it, Sadaharu tries to eat it, it's so beat up I can't believe it still works and my Otsuu-chan music is in there!_ ”

“Say no more, where's it at?” Hijikata listened very carefully and set the phone down on the desk to go find it. It was in the kitchen exactly where Shinpachi said it would be and Hijikata carefully took it back to the desk with him. “Okay, I've got it. I won't let anything happen to it.”

“ _Thank you, Hijikata-san!_ ” Shinpachi replied and the kid sounded so damn relieved, it tugged at Hijikata's heart.

“It's no problem and uh, while I have you, you don't need to do any of the cleaning tomorrow.”

“ _Why not? I haven't done anything for the last couple of days, it's due for a deep clean_.”

“Gintoki's going to do it.” There was a long pause, so long that Hijikata prompted, “You still there?”

“ _Yeah... you said – Gin-san is going to clean tomorrow_?”

“You heard right.”

“ _Because he wants to or... how do you know this_?”

“He lost a bet last night.”

“ _Oh, okay! I understand now! For a moment there I thought he'd bumped his head or something!_ ”

“No, nothing like that. He has to clean and I have to cook all the meals, so eat at your own risk.”

“ _Considering my sister's cooking, I'm more than willing to try yours._ ”

A muffled voice carried through the phone and Hijikata could barely make out a soft, “ _What did you say_?”

“ _Gotta go!_ ” Shinpachi said hastily. “ _See you tomorrow and thank you again, Hijikata-san!_ ”

The line went dead and Hijikata let out an amused breath as he put the phone back in its cradle. Picking up his own phone, he texted the list of things to Yamazaki and despite what he'd have to do tomorrow with all the cooking and the lack of mayonnaise, he found himself somewhat looking forward to it.

**To Be Continued**

 


	27. When Panicked, Get the Flock Outta There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some unintentional signals get mixed and crisscrossed. 
> 
> Happy Pride Month!

Gintoki was awake and out of bed early. It was the earliest he'd been up in awhile and once dressed in his yukata, he went to the kitchen where he knew his missing roommate would be. He sat down at the table in front of the air conditioner and folded his wings comfortably behind him without a word. Hijikata was standing at the counter with a bunch of different items spread out around him and he didn't glance back or turn around.

“Come to watch the slaughter?” Hijikata asked.

“There's no way I'm missing this.”

“You're out of bed early just to watch someone struggle... that really says a lot about you.”

“I've never claimed to be a saint.”

“Just the opposite, right?”

“Some days,” Gintoki digressed.

“I called Kondo-san this morning,” Hijikata hedged and his tone alone had Gintoki smirking.

“I'm going to take a wild guess and say that he and Okita-kun will be stopping by later.”

Hijikata glared briefly over his shoulder. “Your sadist senses must be tingling.”

“Yeah, but even if they weren't, I know how bad you're wanting to get that compliment done and over with. I bet you've been thinking about it all morning.”

“Ugh – no more bets for now. Let's at least finish all the ones we have first.” His hand hovered over one of the items, but he aborted it and went for something else. “Shouldn't you be cleaning?”

“I'll clean after you've fed me.” Hijikata paused strangely at that, but he didn't look back. “What've you decided on?”

“Tamagoyaki with rice and egg as a backup.”

Gintoki got up and walked nearer to peer over Hijikata's shoulder.

“You're making a mess.”

“Just giving you something to do.”

Gintoki found himself laughing and he shook his head even though Hijikata couldn't see it. “No way! No! I may have to clean, but I don't have to clean up after _you_!”

“I'm here, I'm staying in this apartment, and any messes made here are your responsibility. This is all your doing.”

“How is it _my_ fault you're less of a pain to be around?”

“It just _is_. Go sit back down, you're distracting me.”

Gintoki returned to his seat and mused, “I wonder where Shinpachi is... he's usually here by now.”

“I told him you were doing all the cleaning today, so he's probably sleeping in for the first time in months. I also told him that I was cooking and he might just be avoiding that.”

“He really is a smart kid.”

Hijikata hurled a piece of trash at him and he ducked before it could hit him. Neither of those dishes took very long to make, so after just a bit of idle conversation, Hijikata was setting the plates and bowls on the table. Gintoki took a little bit of both and gingerly sniffed each one before sampling.

“It's not bad,” Gintoki said and meant it. “Definitely a new shape, but still edible. In an hour or two, we'll see if I'm on the toilet or not.” Hijikata didn't look amused in the slightest and one glance down told Gintoki what else was adding to that sour look. “This is the meal you're eating without mayonnaise?”

Hijikata took a deep breath. “Yeah, I wanna get it done and out of the way.”

“Like that compliment.”

“Stop reminding me.”

“Do you know what you're gonna say yet?”

“No.”

“It better be good.”

Hijikata rolled his eyes and grimaced as he took his first bite.

“This could really use some mayo.”

“You can tough it out! Come on! It's _one_ meal!”

“Food?” Kagura asked and sat down with them.

Her hair was still sleep ruffled, but her eyes brightened when she saw the food. She did the honors of clearing the table of everything including crumbs and Gintoki didn't remember seeing her chew. She belched once she was finished and she was much more awake than before.

“Enjoy that?” Hijikata queried.

“It was okay.”

“I made it.”

Kagura made a retching sound and dove for the door yelling about the bathroom. Hijikata wasn't amused, but Gintoki was laughing pretty damn hard.

“I'm gonna go do some work. You should do the same, this place is filthy.”

Gintoki mock saluted and though he wasn't a fan of cleaning, that smile that kept lingering on his face told him the day wasn't going to be all bad.

-o-O-o-

When Gintoki next appeared, Hijikata about choked on absolutely nothing. The bright pink of the apron Gintoki had on about blinded him and the matching pink bandana didn't help. He'd expected Gintoki to dress for cleaning, but nothing could have prepared him for this. It wasn't just that the apron was pink, either. No, the thing also had frills and there was a single strawberry stitched onto the center of the apron.

“I... wow.”

“Feast your eyes,” Gintoki said grandiosely and puffed his wings out.

Hijikata laughed and shook his head. “You're ridiculous.”

Gintoki bowed and Hijikata scoffed behind his hand.

“This thing is actually really nice.” Gintoki plucked at his apron. “It's one of the only things I haven't had to rip holes into to fit my wings through.”

“Is the bandana necessary?”

“How dare you ask me that, of course it's necessary!”

“Do you have anything less ungodly bright?”

Gintoki hummed, then said, “We have one of those lacy maid outfits around here somewhere if you'd prefer that?”

This time, Hijikata really did choke on nothing.

“ _Why_ in the _hell_ would you have one of those?”

“I don't remember... it probably came with the apartment when I moved in.”

“That's – _god_ , I don't even want to know! Quit stalling! Get to it already, this place won't clean itself!”

Gintoki gave him a very enthusiastic middle finger, but got started cleaning right after. He'd done the cleaning before, that much was obvious right away. He knew what he was going to do first and for Hijikata, it was somewhat fascinating to see Gintoki concentrate so much on something other than his sweets or fighting. So, Hijikata worked while Gintoki cleaned and the sight of Gintoki armed with a feather-duster was definitely a unique thing to witness.

“You better not miss any loose feathers.”

Ten minutes after the comment, all the feathers Gintoki had been able to gather were dumped on top of Hijikata's paperwork. They stayed there until Kagura came and collected them all. What became of them after that, Hijikata didn't know and he wasn't about to ask. As long as they were out of his sight and didn't reappear, he honestly didn't care what Kagura wanted them for. When Shinpachi arrived, Gintoki was about to finish up with the living room and the _look_ on Shinpachi's face was priceless.

The banter that he and Gintoki immediately fell into was oddly comforting. It was a background noise that Hijikata had grown used to and it reminded him of the barracks in its own way. He listened to it while he continued with the paperwork and some of what they were saying had him chuckling. Kagura joined in and it sounded like the three of them were in the kitchen since Gintoki was getting a lesson on how to properly tend to the dishes. A short time later, Gintoki went dashing across the living room and dove into his room with the kids hot on his trail.

It was at this point that Hijikata checked the time and decided that he needed to get started on making lunch. He was a little behind schedule, but it wasn't like he was going to go into the kitchen when the entire Yorozuya were squabbling in there. The room was very clean when he entered and it looked nice. It also felt good thanks to having the blessed air conditioner tirelessly doing its job.

Just as Hijikata was about to start pulling out the necessary ingredients, Shinpachi poked his head in and asked, “Sorry to interrupt, Hijikata-san, but where'd you put my walkman?”

Hijikata motioned for him to follow and he led Shinpachi over to Gintoki's desk where his Tomoe figure was proudly standing. He opened one of the drawers and carefully extracted the walkman to hand it over.

“I got to it before anyone else did, so it's intact and in working condition.”

“Thank you! I almost came storming back here last night to get it myself.”

Hijikata nodded. “Speaking as a former Otaku, I know how that must've felt.”

“Former?” Shinpachi deadpanned.

“Yes, former. Strictly speaking.”

“So, as a _former_ Otaku, you wouldn't mind if I just....” Shinpachi pressed his pointer finger against Tomoe's head and began pushing her very slowly to the edge of the desk.

Hijikata watched indifferently at first, but the closer she got to the edge, the more horrified he became. Before the rim of her figurine could so much as skim the edge, Hijikata snatch her up and cradled her to him.

“Why would you _do_ that? Oi! Were you the one that broke her?”

“I would never do that, I was only proving a point,” Shinpachi replied smugly and put his headphones on.

He danced his way to the sofa and Hijikata glared after him, then tenderly put Tomoe away. For her safety, he was only going to bring her out when he was sitting at the desk and any other time, he'd keep her in her designated drawer that was lined with soft tissue.

Returning to the kitchen, he picked up where he left off and pulled out everything he thought he'd need for the hot pot. It seemed like a lot when it was all over the counter and he frowned at it just to make sure it knew how he felt.

“Most meals need prepped before it can be cooked,” Gintoki said as he came in. “Staring at it doesn't really do any good.”

“Mind your own business.”

“I did! And now the apartment is clean. Except for the toilet because that one is just for you.”

Hijikata sighed. “Just don't leave a shit in it for me.”

“Well... now you're just giving me ideas.”

“Gross! Go away! Why are you always such a distraction?”

“You can't call me a distraction anymore, I'm not wearing the pink!” Gintoki's face scrunched and he pulled his yukata aside a bit. “Never mind, I've got my pink boxers on.”

Hijikata tossed his hands. “I'm gonna get started on this now! Shoo!”

“You're never going to get all this done in time.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Gintoki chuckled and grabbed a knife, then pulled the cutting board toward himself. “Should you be doing that?”

“You're still gonna cook everything, but there's no reason I can't help you get stuff ready. It'll be difficult for you to compliment Okita-kun if you're shut away in here trying to finish lunch.”

“You're so thoughtful....”

“Why a hot pot in this heat?”

“I'm making things according to simplicity.”

Gintoki started chopping and Hijikata put the broth together. He wasn't sure if there was a specific order for any of this, so he just went with what felt right. It wasn't like he was a bad cook, he'd cooked plenty of meals for himself in his day! It had just been so long since he'd had to put any of those skills into practice that even the fundamentals were escaping him.

“Psst,” Gintoki whispered, “I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but I've heard hot pots work better when the heat is on. Just a suggestion.”

Hijikata surreptitiously turned the stove on and for his own sake, he pretended like it had been on the whole time. That wasn't the only thing Gintoki had to guide him on. Apparently, the meat needed to be cooked before the broth went in, so for this special hot pot, the meat was cooked separately and then added to the broth once it was brought to a simmer. Gintoki told him what leaves he needed to add and Gintoki also helped him arrange all the meat, noodles, onion, shallots, mushroom, cabbage, and tofu.

“How do you know all this?” Hijikata asked as he put the lid on the pot.

“When you've eaten enough things, you can kinda get an idea on how they're made.”

“Okay,” Hijikata nodded and stared Gintoki down. “Now that you've gotten the lie out of the way, let's try the truth this time.”

“That is the truth!”

“No one knows how to cook just by eating! What else can you make?”

“I don't know.”

“You don't?”

Gintoki shrugged and his wings followed the motion. “You'd have to tell me what you wanted and I'd tell you if I can make it or not. I've picked up some things throughout the years, but Shinpachi does the cooking around here.”

“But you could do the cooking if you wanted to.”

“I could,” Gintoki relented with reluctance. “I lived alone up here for years, I couldn't afford to eat out all the time, and I couldn't expect the old hag to cook for me everyday. I can cook if I need to, but I prefer not to need to.”

Hijikata leaned against the counter and crossed his arms as he considered that.

“One of these days while we're here, you should cook something. Just one meal, any dish you want that isn't a parfait or a dessert.”

“I thought you didn't want anymore bets until we've finished the ones we have.”

“This isn't a bet, I just want you to do it.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I'm asking you to.”

Gintoki raised a brow. “That still leaves me wondering why.”

“I'm curious,” Hijikata answered honestly. “When we first met, I looked at you and thought you'd be a terrible swordsman. I was wrong. I've known you quite some time now and I've never looked at you and thought you could cook. Frankly, I thought you were the type everyone should always keep _out_ of the kitchen. Seems I'm wrong about that, too. So, I want you to cook for me sometime.”

“I'm not your wife,” Gintoki joked and Hijikata scoffed.

“No, but you're trapped inside as often as I am with nothing better to do.”

Gintoki rocked thoughtfully back on his heels and he used his wings to shift himself forward again.

“Fine, but on one condition.” Hijikata inclined his head. “Just you and me, the kids never find out. The _second_ they find out I can actually cook, they'll never let me hear the end of it and that needs to be avoided at all costs.”

“Understood.”

“One meal. That's it.”

“One,” Hijikata affirmed. “Just tell Yamazaki what you need or give me a list and I'll let him know for you.”

“Alright... just don't set your expectations too high.”

“I can't, I never know what to expect when it comes to you.”

Gintoki's laugh was interrupted by a knock on the door and he excused himself to answer it. Kondo's voice could be heard a moment later and Gintoki wasted no time ushering them down toward the kotatsu.

“What's _he_ doing here?” Kagura yelled and Hijikata sincerely hoped nothing got broken during the visit.

The hot pot still needed some time on the stove, so Hijikata went out and joined them in the living room where everyone had gathered. He was greeted by Kondo first and Hijikata responded like he was supposed to, but as soon as he saw Sougo, he knew he needed to get the compliment _done_.

Without preamble, he walked right up to Sougo and said, “I've been tracking everything through the paperwork since I do all of it now and I can see that you're doing a good job handing everything in my absence. Thank you for that, it makes being unable to participate easier on me.”

Kagura was next to Sougo and she looked downright disgusted with him after that. Hijikata turned to the sound of sniffling and Kondo was wiping away what seemed to be a small tear from his eye and Gintoki was....

“Wha – is that my _phone_?” Hijikata patted himself down. “It is! When did you get my phone?”

“Doesn't matter, I'm just glad I was able to catch such a beautiful moment.”

“You didn't take a video....”

“Oh!” Kondo turned and pulled out his own phone. “Send it to me!”

“Don't send it to him!”

“This moment should be remembered forever,” Gintoki said and shoved a wing out to deter Hijikata from lunging for his phone.

“Send it to me, too,” Sougo said and Hijikata about spluttered. “I always told you I could do your job better than you could.”

“I was thanking you for your help! That's it! No one ever gave you my job!”

The commotion in the room got so loud after that and Hijikata couldn't stand the smug look on Sougo's face. It wasn't like Hijikata could take the compliment back, either, because he really had meant it and that just made Sougo's behavior all the more annoying. Luckily, Kagura was in the mood to give Sougo some hell and Hijikata made no move to intercede with that.

“You might want to stop leaving this thing defenseless around the apartment,” Gintoki said as he sidled up and held out Hijikata's phone.

“I could've sworn I had it in my yukata,” he replied and snatched it away.

“Nope! It was on my desk.”

“Never again.”

“Oi, moments like these are what bets are for.”

“Shouldn't you and Kondo-san be having a moment by now?”

Gintoki smiled and winked. “If you insist.”

Hijikata glanced at Sougo, Kagura, and Shinpachi to make sure they were distracted and they really were doing an excellent job of keeping each other preoccupied. It seemed that at least Shinpachi cared that things in the apartment remained unbroken and he sure was trying his hardest to keep things together. Hijikata turned his attention back to Gintoki and he waited to hear a stupid pickup line or a cheesy host club tagline. Gintoki was facing Kondo and the whole thing seemed normal enough, like they were just about to have a casual conversation like they would any other time.

But then Gintoki's posture changed – his hips canted invitingly, his wings curled as if they wanted to draw Kondo in for a more private talk, his shoulders shifted to make his more masculine edges look softer, his expression changed from friendly to... something else – and Hijikata stilled. All the humor and anticipation died and the only thing Gintoki had done was change the way he was standing. Hijikata knew they'd started talking, he could see Gintoki's mouth forming the words, but he couldn't hear any of it. Hijikata felt the power of Kondo's laugh, saw Gintoki's flirtatious smile, and Hijikata didn't feel good about this anymore.

Abandoning his spot, Hijikata went over to the pair and he did the first thing that came to mind. He couldn't explain what was happening or what had come over him, he just knew this couldn't continue. He pushed himself between the two of them and crowded Gintoki, forcing him to walk backward a couple steps until he bumped into the back of the sofa. The smile was still on Gintoki's face, but it had become muted and non-flirtatious beneath his furrowed brows. Sougo and Kagura poked their heads over and Gintoki raised his wing like a curtain to shut them out.

“You don't have to do this one,” Hijikata said quickly under his breath and he felt his cheeks warm. Gintoki's brows scrunched even more and he opened his mouth as if to argue, but Hijikata interjected, “I'm callin' it off.”

It came out somewhat desperate and he was going to blame the redness of his face on being embarrassed at the way he must have sounded. Gintoki searched his face and Hijikata acted like he was making sure Sougo and Kagura weren't trying to get any closer just so he had an excuse to look away.

“Tosshi?” Kondo asked. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, fine. We're just clearing something up.”

“All cleared up now?” Hijikata nodded as he stepped back and glanced to Gintoki, who also nodded, much to Hijikata's relief. Kondo smiled, saying, “I'm glad. Now, Gin-san, what was it you were going to say?”

“Ah, sorry, I got distracted and I can't remember,” Gintoki replied with a smile and actually managed to look genuinely sheepish. “It'll come back to me at some point!”

Gintoki then distracted himself with batting a wing at Kagura and Sougo, who were persistently trying to get closer, and he used that as a way to excuse him from Kondo. Whether or not Sougo was suspicious of anything, Hijikata didn't know, he was too relieved and... grateful. Even if Gintoki thought he was a moron for changing his mind, he didn't say anything and didn't question it, he just did what Hijikata wanted and backed right off. The knot in Hijikata's stomach fractionally loosened and it was enough for him to be able to turn to Kondo and act normal.

He didn't have to act long since he decided to deem the hot pot done just so they had a reason to leave what just happened behind. Shinpachi grabbed the actual hot pot while Hijikata took plates, utensils, and a hot pad. Hijikata would have carried the pot, but the single thought of his wings jerking and him bathing in steaming hot broth was enough to convince him that Shinpachi was the better choice.

The lot of them gathered around the kotatsu, but by then, Hijikata had lost his appetite. Kagura took the lid off the pot and everyone dug in once a prayer of thanks had been said and the plates had been passed around. Noise immediately took over as Kagura and Sougo went for the same piece of meat. They made a clatter to duel it out and both of them proved to be inhumanly proficient with chopsticks. It seemed like everyone started talking at once and Hijikata did his best to keep up with it.

He was doing a pretty good job until he felt someone staring at him and while he meant to ignore it, he ended up looking at Gintoki anyway. His expression was mostly blank, but there was something quietly assessing about it, like there was something he couldn't quite figure out. To Hijikata's surprise, Gintoki kept watching and didn't turn his head right away. Because of this, they ended up briefly staring at each other from across the kotatsu and the uncomfortable knot in Hijikata's stomach came back. Eventually, Gintoki blinked and rejoined the conversation like he'd never left it and Hijikata stared down at his plate wondering why it suddenly felt so difficult to breathe.

“I'm glad you called today, something interesting came up,” Kondo said.

“Interesting how?” Hijikata asked in the most normal voice he could muster.

“There was a big development with that investigation we're working on, but something new came in this afternoon. There's a man in the hospital right now that has a big lizard tail and he has no idea where it came from. According to the report, everything was normal, but then he blacked out and woke up to find a big lizard tail on him.”

“And he's human?”

“That's what the report said. Do you want to come back to the barracks for tonight and help us out? You'll be able to go over everything, too, but we could really use you today.”

“I don't think that'll be an issue,” Hijikata replied.

“Gin-san, you're welcome, too!”

“He doesn't have to, he'll have nothing to do,” Hijikata reasoned. “There hasn't been any changes with these wings since we got them, it'd probably be fine if we were apart for a night.”

“What do you think, Gin-san?”

Gintoki waved a hand. “I'm fine to stay here.”

Kondo picked up one of his shallots and said, “In that case, we'll take Tosshi with us when we leave and someone will bring him back tomorrow.”

After that, the meal couldn't end fast enough for Hijikata. He willed it to finish up with all his might. Every conversation seemed to drag on and no matter how many times Hijikata hinted that they should get started on the work as soon as possible could get Kondo to budge. Even after Kagura finished the last of the hot pot, Hijikata _still_ couldn't hurry Kondo or Sougo away. Sougo had latched onto Gintoki by then and the two of them really were a sadist duo that should never be left alone together.

 _Finally_ , though, after enough hinting and suggesting, Kondo started moving toward the door. Hijikata grabbed the few things he knew he'd need like his phone and a towel to wrap around himself, then he was out the door and in the car. Hijikata felt more grounded once he was in his room and that was also about the time his wings started jerking him again. He ignored it as best he could and immersed himself in the work at hand.

Hijikata worked for hours and truly, a lot happened in that span of time, but he couldn't ignore the events at the apartment forever. It was a call from Wan that sobered Hijikata up and after that, the feeling of being a complete and total asshole began to settle in. Wan had asked how Gintoki was eating and Hijikata hadn't been paying attention to what Gintoki managed to eat for lunch. If he was anything like Hijikata, then he barely ate anything at all and it was more than likely that that was the case. Hijikata thought about everything that had happened before and during the hot pot and he really didn't think he could have handled that worse than he had. He still couldn't explain his reaction to what Gintoki had done with Kondo and that wasn't something he was ready to analyze just yet.

He worked for several hours more and not only did he go through the two separate investigations, but he got everything else in the compound caught up as well. He fixed some scheduling issues, snapped at some slackers, took care of some careless organizational errors, cleaned up the file folders, organized the different investigation records, and all throughout, he was coming up with a new plan.

Hijikata eventually returned to his room after bidding Kondo goodnight and he felt better. Work really was his way of getting his head together and while he didn't have anything fully figured out, he at least knew what he wanted to do next. He hadn't been so mixed up about his own feelings since he'd left for Edo all those years ago and that was... throwing him off. It was no excuse for how he'd behaved earlier, but there was no way to explain any of this to Gintoki. Just the thought of him made Hijikata's stomach _drop_ because Gintoki was probably so damn _confused_.

Hijikata stopped what he was doing and stared at his phone, his fingers twitching.

-o-O-o-

It was very strange not having Hijikata around at night, but it was perhaps even stranger that Gintoki found it strange in the first place. He tried not to think about it and all things considered, he was having a good night. Kagura was asleep since it was already late and they'd had fun earlier. She enjoyed messing with his wings maybe a bit too much, but he couldn't say he really minded it. All her messing got the loose feathers out for him and she had so much fun playing with them that she never made a fuss about cleaning them up.

The phone suddenly rang and Gintoki thought about letting it ring out, but the more it rang, the higher the chance that it'd wake Kagura up. At worst, she'd probably throw a pillow at it to shut it up, but even that could destroy the whole desk.

“You've reached Yoro –”

“ _You don't have to finish that whole spiel, it's just me_.”

Gintoki slid down into the chair at the sound of Hijikata's voice through the receiver and his wings pulled in closer to him almost on reflex.

“Ah, did you forget something?”

“ _Not exactly, but_ _I spoke to Wan earlier_.”

“Has he been able to figure something out for us?”

“ _No, but he wants us to go to one of his old clinics tomorrow_.”

“I can't say I'm too excited about the way that sounds.”

“ _And that's why I'm talking to you about it instead of him_.”

“What does he want?”

“ _We'd go over to the clinic after it closes tomorrow and stay the night there. He wants to do those scans he was talking about and while we're there, he's going to run some tests_.”

“He'd need all night for that.”

“ _He doesn't know how long it'll take and staying all night would just make is easier._ ”

“Not much of a choice, is there?”

“ _Not really, but we're going to scope the place out first and make sure it's secure for us_.”

“You could've waited until tomorrow to tell me this. It's late, you know.”

“ _Did I wake you?_ ”

“No.”

“ _Good, because I needed to get you on the phone_.”

“Why?”

“ _My hands are full, can you come open the door?_ ”

“Neh?”

“ _Open. The door. You do know where the door is, right? It doesn't look like it moved since the last time I was here._ ”

Gintoki set the phone down on the desk and went to where the door had, indeed, not moved from. He slid it open and though he knew Hijikata would be on the other side, it still shocked him. Hijikata had a large blanket wrapped around him to hide his wings and he held it closed with one hand. His other hand had a plastic bag in it and his cellphone was cradled between his cheek and shoulder to keep it from falling. Gintoki kept staring until Hijikata blithely shoved the bag into his chest and stepped inside.

“Take this, I need to get situated.” Hijikata let the phone drop into his now free hand and slid it into his yukata before dealing with the blanket. “I didn't have one of those towels, so we're just gonna have a random blanket here.”

Gintoki looked down at the bag in his hands and asked, “Is this udon?”

“Yeah, it was the cheapest place Yamazaki could get to on the way. Not sure if you're hungry and I know I didn't make this like I was supposed to, but I missed dinner and I'm too starved to have any patience for cooking.”

Hijikata tossed the neatly folded blanket onto the floor and when he started to kick off his sandals, his right wing jerked. Gintoki did the most natural thing to him and shifted, but remained where he was. He ended up taking the brunt of the blow as Hijikata's shoulder collided into his chest and he was proud to say that he just barely wheezed. Hijikata stayed against him, a hand on Gintoki's waist for balance, and Gintoki couldn't see his face since it was hidden toward his neck.

“ _Please_ tell me I didn't just squish the udon.”

Gintoki chuckled and rustled the bag. “I managed to get it out of the way in time.”

The same could not be said of his sternum, though.

“Thank god,” Hijikata murmured and let out a silent breath that Gintoki felt run over his neck. Hijikata raised his head and glared back at his wings. “These things have been twitching like crazy ever since I went to the barracks and I've about had it.”

Gintoki looked at the black ridge of Hijikata's nearest wing and frowned at it, muttering, “I wonder why. They seemed fine earlier.”

“Who knows,” Hijikata grumbled and moved his hand up to Gintoki's shoulder to keep steady as he wriggled his feet out of his sandals. “Will you carry that into the living room? With my luck, I'd just fall on it.”

“You'd probably cry if that happened.”

[((Art by: Tai))](http://taichichuwhat.tumblr.com/)

Hijikata snorted and gave him a playful shove toward the living room where a TV drama was playing on low. Gintoki had to bring his wings in close in order to turn around and he managed to do it without making too much noise. Kagura was still sleeping and part of him was surprised that the smell of food hadn't woken her up yet. Gintoki took the food out to the sofas and Hijikata followed along behind him without any wing mishaps.

“If you want to, I thought we could go to the pond in the morning.”

Gintoki sat down with the bag in his lap and nodded. “I'm fine with that.”

“Nothing too strenuous,” Hijikata said and walked around the sofas to get behind Gintoki. He touched Gintoki's previously sprained wing and pulled at the top of it until Gintoki opened it up for him. He held it there in that position for a bit and Gintoki let him. “Wan said we could go if you could hold it like this without any discomfort. Does it hurt?”

“I can still feel some pull on the muscles, but no, it doesn't hurt. I've been stretching it out like this a few times a day and that seems to help.”

“That's so weird... a normal sprain would still be causing you some pain. Didn't you say this sprain hurt worse than the ones you've had before?”

“Yeah, but now it just needs to be stretched out and the ache goes away. Either the sprain felt worse than I thought it was or the wing is healing faster than my body ever has.”

Hijikata was still messing with Gintoki's wing and he couldn't say he minded it all that much. It felt good to stretch it and felt even better to have someone else pull it open and really force the muscles to work and release. It _seemed_ like everything was back to normal and Gintoki would be lying if he said he wasn't glad Hijikata had come back, but he didn't feel right about the whole thing yet. It didn't feel _right_ to have upset Hijikata somehow and then for things just to click back into place like nothing happened.

“It wasn't real,” Gintoki said softly and stared down at where his fingers had wrapped into the bag he held against himself. “It didn't mean anything, it was just for the bet.”

“I know that. Oi.” Hijikata gave his wing a gentle squeeze and Gintoki looked over at him. “You didn't do anything wrong.”

“Didn't I?”

Hijikata shook his head and huffed out a humorless chuckle. “No, trust me, this one is all on me.”

Gintoki searched his face for any kind of lie, but he found no indication of anything like that. It was a relief in its own way, but Gintoki still didn't understand what had gone wrong. He _had_ to have done something, but it was difficult to tell what that was when Hijikata was right there telling him he hadn't done anything wrong. He looked back to the bag and after one more stretch, Hijikata released his wing.

Gintoki began unpacking the bag and Hijikata picked out the box that was supposedly his. He pointed out which one was meant for Gintoki and that only left one box in the bag.

Gintoki raised a brow and pointed at it, asking, “What's this one? Something to share?”

Hijikata was busy stuffing his face already and the look he gave Gintoki as he chewed practically screamed ' _you're an idiot_.'

“Kagura,” Hijikata said around his partially eaten mouthful.

Warmth flooded through Gintoki and even his wings curled.

“I'll go put it in the fridge for her.”

“Hurry back, I think this is the episode where the long lost sister shows up with a baby that she claims her sister's husband is the father of. Bring something to drink back with you, too!”

Gintoki smiled to himself and he didn't need to be told, he was in a hurry of his own to get back.

**To Be Continued**

 


	28. "I was wrong."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something big happens in the next chapter, this is build up to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAI -- I LOVE YOU! AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

**Art by:[Kusakkabe](http://kusakkabe.tumblr.com/)**

“Coming here was a good idea,” Gintoki said as he got out of the car. “Even if I did have to wake up too early for it.”

“We needed to get out. I don't think either of us are all that excited to be stuck at a clinic tonight.”

Gintoki made a face, but swallowed whatever comment he may have wanted to make. Instead, he fished out his sunscreen and put it on every part of himself that he could reach. When he was finished, Hijikata spun him around to put it on his back for him, which Gintoki let him do without complaint.

Once he was released, Gintoki went straight to the water and waded in until it lapped at his chest. As usual, Hijikata was slower to follow and he took more measured steps just in case. He watched Gintoki flex his back and spread his wings out wide before drawing them in close again. They were half submerged by the water once he had them fully folded to himself and when he turned around to face Hijikata, there was a huge smile on his face.

“This stupid wing isn't sprained anymore!”

“Don't call it stupid, it can probably hear you.”

“That's actually a horrifying thought,” Gintoki replied and shot his wings a shifty look.

Hijikata waded into the water and took up space next to him, just close enough that Hijikata could brush one of his wings against Gintoki's. It felt natural to do so and Gintoki didn't seem to mind the proximity even though there was _the entire rest of the pond_ around them.

“They're not as twitchy now.”

“No, they've been good this morning.”

Gintoki blew some bubbles in the water with his mouth, then raised his head to ask, “Did Wan have anything to say about why they do that? Any suggestions, maybe?”

“No.”

“Too bad.”

“I guess,” Hijikata mumbled and shuddered his wings to splash some water on himself.

He needed Gintoki to drop the topic, so he made sure to get plenty of water on the both of them. As desired, Gintoki spluttered and shook his drenched perm out before splashing Hijikata back. A small fight naturally happened and for a good fifteen minutes, neither of them got anything done. The topic was successfully dropped and the two of them did what they wanted to do.

The morning melted away and before Hijikata knew it, he was packing what he needed for their stay at Wan's. It felt like all he'd done was blink and he went from being at the pond to shoving the last item they'd need into his bag. They'd packed their stuff together so they'd only have to take one bag instead of two and Hijikata preferred it that way. However, he'd had to talk Gintoki out of taking three Jumps and convince him that he only needed one. They'd compromised on two and then Hijikata had taken one out when Gintoki wasn't looking, but he'd deal with the backlash for that later.

“Ready to go?” Gintoki called.

“Yeah, I think we have everything.”

“Good, 'cause the car is out front!”

Hijikata zipped the bag up and they went through the hassle of wrangling the blankets around them to get downstairs. Gintoki took the back seat to have more room and Hijikata, after tossing the bag into Gintoki's lap, got into the modified front seat. Yamazaki was their driver and he relayed all the messages Kondo had for them. Kondo would have driven them, but there was a reason he generally didn't operate any of the vehicles. Gintoki was quiet during the ride and Hijikata glanced back at him a few times just to see him mindlessly playing with some feathers.

It was on one of his glances back that Hijikata noticed something he hadn't seen in awhile. Gintoki had put the effort into putting on his black outfit as well as his yukata. Usually, that took too much time and effort to do, but Gintoki had done it for this outing. He had his bokken with him, too, but that was less surprising and actually made sense. Hijikata's own sword was in the trunk and he'd carry it around with him if he was sure he wouldn't jerk and stab himself despite the scabbard.

Arriving at Wan's lab was an ordeal of its own and Hijikata didn't want to get frustrated... but he was getting frustrated. The Shinsengumi had already searched the place before they'd gotten there, but Yamazaki insisted on going through it again just in case. Wan was talkative, Gintoki was quiet and wary, and Hijikata was prickly. Just getting _inside_ the building was a problem since there was no cover except the blankets they had and the building was out in the open. The Shinsengumi had done what they could to keep traffic from coming through, but they could only do so much without raising suspicion.

Still, they managed to get inside and Gintoki and Hijikata were shown to the room they'd be staying in. It was plenty big enough for the two of them, but there was a sterile quality to it that Hijikata didn't like. The futons were folded neatly and there were snacks and water stashed for them in the corner. It was a nice setup, but Hijikata didn't care for it anymore than Gintoki seemed to.

“Is there anything else, Fukuchou?” Yamazaki asked and set their bag next to the futons.

“Keep the car out of sight, I don't want it sitting out front.”

“Ah, right!”

“And let me know every time there's a change in sentry.”

“I'll send you the time table we have!”

“Get to it.” Yamazaki saluted and disappeared, leaving them in Wan's ecstatic care. “Kondo-san sent over all the info on that guy with the lizard tail, have you had a chance to look over it?”

“Yes, yes! The unprecedented modification seems to be quite similar to your situation! It's inexplicable for wings and tails to randomly grow on people!” He was much too chipper and that wasn't helping Hijikata's precarious mood. “I've told him everything I've been able to come up with, but it hasn't brought us any closer to a solution for you or Sakata-san.”

“These tests should offer more answers, right?”

“Precisely!”

Gintoki chose that moment to squirm until he pulled his yukata off his shoulder and let it pool around his waist. It was hot as fuck outside and the inside of this place wasn't much better off, Gintoki was probably roasting in those layers.

“Will you two be okay for a little bit?” Wan asked, their moods lost on him. Hijikata nodded and Gintoki shrugged only when both of them looked at him. As if to reinforce it, he plopped down to sit and Hijikata did the same. “Excellent! I'll go finish getting everything set up! Sit tight, this won't take more than fifteen minutes! In the meantime, you should decide which of you will be my first!”

The door shut and Hijikata shared an alarmed look with Gintoki.

“He didn't really just say that...” Hijikata trailed.

Gintoki's full body shuddered. “I think he likes you more, so you should be his first.”

“He doesn't like me more, bastard!”

“He does so! I chew thermometers and he holds a grudge against me for that!”

“Speaking of which, why _do_ you chew on those? Just to annoy him?”

“No, I can't help it. It's not like – pff, wait, you've got some feathers going awol and it's distracting.” Gintoki shifted around onto his knees behind Hijikata and ran his fingers over the ridge of his left wing. “You wouldn't want the good doctor seeing you unkempt for his first time.”

Hijikata glared at him over his shoulder and Gintoki smiled as he teasingly ran one of the black feathers against Hijikata's cheek. As soon as Hijikata felt his face warm, he slapped Gintoki's hand away and brought his wing up to block the bastard out. Instead of leaving, Gintoki busied himself with sifting his fingers through the rest of Hijikata's feathers to dislodge anymore loose ones. Hijikata might have pushed him away under different circumstances, but he knew the restlessness was more nervous energy than anything. It reminded him of when they'd sat in the waiting room at the dentist's office together.

“Oi, do you remem –”

“Don't bring that up,” Gintoki interrupted. “Don't you even dare.”

“We survived it.”

“Maybe... but at what _cost_?”

Hijikata chuckled and since he couldn't get Gintoki with his elbow, he pressed his wing back into Gintoki's hands instead.

“If we survived that, then we should be able to survive this.”

“You don't sound too confident....”

“I'm confident this won't be as bad as going to the dentist.”

“What did I just say?” Gintoki asked and tugged meaningfully on some of Hijikata's primary feathers. It wasn't done with enough force to hurt, but the threat – no matter how empty – was clear. “I told you not to bring it up! I'm having all kinds of flashbacks now!”

“I'm just trying to say that this probably won't be as bad as that!”

“It doesn't help when you throw in words like _probably_!”

“I'm doing my best to convince myself here, too, asshole!”

“But now all I'm thinking about is the d-d-d –”

“You'd better be trying to say dentist!”

Gintoki yelped and then as the words sank in, he started to laugh. Hijikata bent forward, slapping a hand over his face, and he reluctantly chuckled – mostly out of self-deprecation. Gintoki must have bent forward as well because Hijikata felt something, maybe a forehead, brush against the back of his neck and there were hands resting on either of his shoulders. Gintoki's wings bumped into Hijikata's and he was reminded again just how big they were. If Gintoki really wanted, he could probably wrap his wings all the way around Hijikata and fully encompass him.

“Almost ready!” Wan called from somewhere beyond the door and the touch against Hijikata's neck vanished.

His voice was distant and he'd had to yell pretty loud just for them to be able to hear him, so Hijikata wasn't concerned about being overheard.

“Alright, let's make this fair,” Gintoki said and tapped on Hijikata until he shuffled around so they could face each other. Gintoki held up both hands and in each one he had a different colored feather that were both small and fluffy. “I'm putting these behind my back.”

Hijikata frowned and grabbed Gintoki's wrists so he could force his hands open.

“C'mon, open up, lemme see!”

“You think I'm trying to cheat?”

“I wouldn't put it past you!”

“Look!” He held the feathers in his palms. “One white, one black!”

Hijikata kept his hold on Gintoki's wrists and from there slid his arms up to his short black sleeves. He lifted the sleeves, forcing them to bunch up toward Gintoki's shoulders, and he made sure there weren't any black feathers stashed away anywhere.

“Really?” Gintoki asked drily. “Wanna check behind my ears next?”

“Do I need to?” Gintoki rolled his eyes and Hijikata released him. “Alright then, let me decide our fate for us.”

Gintoki closed his hands and twisted his arms behind himself. Hijikata gave him time to switch the feathers around and when he got a nod, Hijikata took a deep breath and reached toward Gintoki's left. In all the switching, Gintoki must have forgotten which hand had what feather because when Hijikata grabbed his hand to open his fingers, he seemed reluctant to do it.

“It isn't too late to go back to the apartment,” Gintoki said and kept his hand in a tight fist.

Hijikata held the back of his hand in one palm and used his other hand to start pulling Gintoki's fingers.

“Yeah, it kinda is. Quit being a baby and open up!”

They could fight over anything and they were definitely going to fight over this. Gintoki refused to loosen his fingers and Hijikata tried harder to open them. They tousled, much like they had at the pond, but Hijikata had the definite advantage since he could use both hands and Gintoki only had two closed fists. The two of them ended up mostly on their stomachs on the floor, side by side, with their uncomfortably mashed together on the sides they had facing each other. Hijikata had finally pried Gintoki's fingers open and there, balanced in Gintoki's palm, was a crushed feather that was most definitely white.

“Well,” Hijikata intoned, slightly out of breath, “guess you didn't cheat after all.”

Gintoki went boneless and groaned into the floorboards.

“Sorry for keeping you – oh! I...” Wan pushed his glasses up and took in the scene before him, “I'm... I'm not sure what I've just walked in on.”

“The demise of a natural perm,” Gintoki grumbled and Hijikata elbowed him now that he had the angle for it.

“I'm ready for one of you.” Hijikata sat up first and Gintoki soon did the same, but more slowly. “The other one can wait here or sit outside the room if that would help either of you. However, I would like to speak to each of you privately at some point.”

“Let's just get this over with,” Gintoki said and stood.

Wan started talking as he led Gintoki from the room and Hijikata was just about to find something else to do when Gintoki glanced back at him. They shared a look of commiseration until Gintoki made an immature face. The only reason Hijikata made one right back at him was obviously because he couldn't let Gintoki outdo him... and also because maybe Hijikata's mood wasn't so precarious anymore.

-o-O-o-

“Sorry for taking so long!” Wan said, appearing in the doorway. “I didn't expect so many complications!”

Hijikata stopped writing and closed the folder in front of him, asking, “Complications?”

“I should rephrase... I didn't expect so much uncooperative behavior.”

“T'ch – you serious? You've seen him enough times to know he's a pain in the ass.”

“Yes, yes,” Wan sighed and sat down across from him, “I was unprepared regardless.”

Hijikata studied him. “You don't look happy, did you find something?”

“I'm not sure. The scans and tests went fine, but the thing is, I can tell you two have been preening.”

“I don't understand, I thought that was what you wanted us to do. Are we not doing it right?”

“No, no! You've been doing great! But have you noticed anything about his wings?”

Hijikata thought back to the last time they'd preened and it'd all seemed pretty normal. He couldn't recall seeing anything strange or out of the ordinary.

“I can't think of anything... did something happen? Is he okay? Where is he now?”

“He went to wash up, did you want to see him for verification before we continue?”

“Ah... no, I guess I can see him afterward. I wanna know what this is all about.”

“Each time I see him, I get more convinced that he isn't doing well,” Wan said bluntly. Hijikata's stomach dropped and Wan took off his glasses to wipe them off with a cloth he procured from one of his pockets. “His plumage has noticeably thinned in some areas and his wings didn't look like that the last time I saw him, which wasn't very long ago. How's his eating?”

“Better than before, I think – er, I _thought_. Still doesn't seem like he eats enough and he doesn't have the cycles of hunger that I do.”

“Cycles?”

“Yeah, I can eat breakfast and want a snack later, then eat lunch and want another snack soon after. It's the same as what I told you last time, nothing has really changed for me. He's not like that, but I want to say he's doing better than before.”

“Good, good, I'm glad to hear it. Any reason you can think of that might be the cause of that?”

Hijikata thought back to a bottle of sake, a deck of cards, and two sets of lists.

“Probably just... getting more used to our arrangement with the wings.”

“That does make sense,” Wan replied and put his glasses back on once they were thoroughly cleaned. “It's possible the feather loss is some sort of seasonal molting, but please help me keep a closer eye on him. I wouldn't be as concerned if it were one or the other, but it's both and that usually means something. At this point, with the way things seem to be progressing, I'd like to try talking to him about it.”

Hijikata shook his head. “That won't work coming from you, so let me try first.”

The words were out of his mouth before he knew it and once they left him, he was ready to stand by them. If he brought it up, he wasn't sure Gintoki would actually talk to him, but he couldn't shake the feeling that it should be him asking and no one else. He could tell the kids what was going on and have them ask, but that wouldn't be fair to Gintoki. No, the unshakeable reality was that Hijikata wanted it to be him and all told, he wanted to do it.

“Forgive me, Hijikata-san, but this situation isn't what it was before and he hasn't improved. I'd thought the weight loss was connected to his wings, but I'm beginning to think there's something bigger going on here. I do apologize, but you said yourself that you aren't friends and from a doctor's perspective, he's gradually getting worse.”

“I was _wrong_ ,” Hijikata said firmly, sharply, and his tone made it sound like he was talking to one of his subordinates. “I know him better than you do and knowing him as I do, he isn't gonna talk to you.”

Wan's taut shoulders relaxed and he sighed. “I'm relieved to hear that, actually. These wings just leave too much up to chance and speculation, we need to be careful. His wings could be affecting him in a way that yours aren't and the same goes for you. I wish I knew more and could give better answers for you both.”

“You're doing all you can and we appreciate it.”

“It's always the thermometer chewers,” Wan bemoaned.

“I'll do what I can to see if there's anything he's not saying, but it may take a few days.”

“Just promise me that if it gets any worse, you'll let me know and call me over right away.”

“You have my word.”

Wan pushed his glasses up higher, saying, “That's settled, then. There's more I want to talk to you about, but we can do that while we work. Are you ready?”

“Yeah, I'm ready. I'll take a closer look at his wings tonight and see what you're talking about with the thinning.”

“Good, good! It's important to look for signs like that!”

Hijikata nodded and his gut twisted as he got up to follow Wan out of the room.

-o-O-o-

Quite some time later, Gintoki and Hijikata found themselves in the same room as before. After washing up earlier, Gintoki had changed into his yukata to sleep in and Hijikata was in his usual blue one. His hair was still slightly damp from his wash, but he felt refreshed after spending so long with Wan being worked on. They'd checked in with Harada, their current guard, and everything was quiet, as it should be. Both of their futons were spread out and they had a nice lantern to keep the room lit for them. The heat had tempered with the sun long since gone, but it was still too warm to really be comfortable.

“Good work today!” Wan was telling them. “Thank you again for being so helpful!”

Gintoki groused and Hijikata smacked him on the knee as he replied, “It was no problem.”

“Well, if there's anything you two need, I'm only a couple rooms away! Don't hesitate to come to the lab or call the number I left for you!”

“Alright, thank you.”

“Goodnight!”

“I think he just wants more excuses to touch our wings,” Gintoki said once he was gone.

“He definitely has a thing for them,” Hijikata agreed.

“Do you think he has any strawberry milk?”

“Want me to call him back in here and ask?”

Gintoki deliberated, then shook his head. “On second thought, never mind. That whole thing was _exhausting_.”

“Took longer than I thought it would, too.” He glanced at his phone just to reconfirm the time. “It's already so late, we've been here for _hours_.”

“So much poking! I think he poked just because he could!”

“I'm glad it's at least over and done with... but it could be awhile before we get any results.”

“As long as there's no more poking, I'm fine waiting however long. I've got Jumps to keep me occupied.” He reached into the bag and pulled out one Jump, then notably paused. “I seem to be missing something.”

“Strange. Your second one must've fallen out.”

Gintoki glared at him, mumbling, “Bet I'll find it conveniently fell out back at the apartment.”

“Who knows,” Hijikata replied indifferently.

The glare directed at him lingered, but Hijikata ignored it and waited for Gintoki to start reading. As soon as he was distracted, Hijikata was up and moving behind him to inspect his wings. Gintoki lazily glanced at him and either didn't care what Hijikata wanted to do or he didn't mind.

“You're just going for your Jump now? What were you doing the whole time I was taking my turn getting poked?”

“Okita-kun was here.”

“His name wasn't on the schedule Yamazaki sent me....”

“Why would he want you to know when to expect him?”

“Fair point,” Hijikata muttered.

He acted like this was just a usual preening session and ran his hands along Gintoki's white feathers only to have a couple small ones detach themselves right away. He focused on Gintoki's right wing first and it wasn't difficult to find the thin spots Wan had been talking about. It wasn't like the whole wing was thinly feathered, it was just spots here and there that got abruptly thinner. Even the way the lantern light passed through those areas was different and as Hijikata touched, he couldn't decide if Gintoki noticed any of this. Gintoki wasn't trying to hide, he wasn't fidgeting, so did he really not notice there were things going on with him?

“Did you eat with him?”

Gintoki pointed toward the corner of the room. “There's food over there if you're hungry.”

Was that an intentional evasion or a misinterpretation of Hijikata's question? He couldn't tell and he knew that he couldn't push too hard on that subject right now or he'd drive Gintoki away. Conversation died between them, but mainly because they were both lost in their own heads. Hijikata wanted to ask what Wan had talked to him about in their private conversation, but now didn't feel like the right time. The quiet was comfortable and Hijikata was reluctant to disrupt that, especially when he had some things to sort through before he acted on them.

Sighing, Hijikata thoroughly went over each of Gintoki's wings with both hands and even light touches caused several white feathers to fall. The sight itself was disheartening, but that was counteracted by Gintoki allowing Hijikata to touch as much as he wanted despite his insistence that he'd been poked too much.

The whole thing made Hijikata tired and when he finished Gintoki's second wing, he went to his futon. The two futons were side by side and Hijikata settled down on his back with the blanket at his feet. He closed his eyes against the brightness of the lantern and before too long, there was a wing stretching out over him and the light was extinguished.

**To Be Continued**

 


	29. SNAP OUT OF IT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata thinks a little too much sometimes.  
> How can he not when Gintoki's hands are all over him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Tai -- I told you that you'd have another chapter when you woke up //blows kiss

The night wore on and Hijikata stayed bodily relaxed, but his mind was in a bunch of different places at once. Gintoki's wing was a nice weight over him and it helped keep him comfortable, but that didn't stop Hijikata from listening for any and every sound. They still had a guard outside and there was no sign of trouble, but Hijikata was lost in his thoughts. Thoughts of falling feathers, thoughts of weight loss, thoughts of what he could do, thoughts of how that conversation would go when he finally brought it up. The thoughts were endless and they made dozing off impossible, his head was just too full.

Out of nowhere, the lantern ignited with a crackle and Hijikata was left blinking several times for his eyes to adjust. Gintoki's wing lifted to let more light reach him and a pair of red eyes squinted at him searchingly.

“You're still awake,” Gintoki concluded, wriggling, “and I am, too.”

He rustled around until he could haphazardly relocate his futon into a position where it was perpendicular to Hijikata's. The lantern was moved to a different spot and Hijikata watched all this without fully understanding what was happening. Gintoki plopped back down onto his stomach, then folded his arms and rested his cheek against them so he and Hijikata could face each other. From above, they made a big L-shape and Gintoki's toes were touching the wall to allow enough room for their heads to be level.

“Restless?”

Gintoki grimaced, admitting, “A little.”

Hijikata nodded and carefully sat up to twist himself around, all just so he could get onto his stomach. Oh, how he longed for the days when rolling over wasn't a whole goddamn process. In front of him, Gintoki wasn't reaching for his Jump and Hijikata didn't know what that meant or what Gintoki expected him to do, if anything. He felt himself tense slightly and the shroud of comfort Gintoki had kept him wrapped up in with his wing had shattered.

“I probably would've eventually turned the light back on if you hadn't.”

“It's not even that bad here, it just feels empty.”

“Too quiet.”

“Yeah, that.”

“So,” Hijikata wracked his brain to come up with something to say, “where would you be if we were at the barracks?”

“Mm... raiding Okita-kun's room, maybe. Or with you by now.” Gintoki snorted and stretched his wings out above them. As he did, the tips of his feathers accidentally skimmed over Hijikata's left wing and it was still strange to be able to feel the touch against an appendage he wasn't born with. “You'd still be doing paperwork.”

“At this hour?”

“You underestimate your own dedication. _Yes_ , at this hour.” Gintoki seemed to consider that and added, “You might also be taking a smoke break.”

“Speaking of which, one of those sounds good right about now.”

“Nothing like a day full of poking to get your cravings going.”

“Yeah, but I can't smoke here.”

“Pretend.”

Hijikata choked on a laugh. “You think I should _pretend_ to smoke?”

“It might help,” Gintoki replied and cracked a smile. “Did you even bring any smokes with you?”

“No, I didn't wanna get lectured.”

“All I got was lectures,” Gintoki mumbled.

“Lectures about what?”

Had Wan gone ahead and talked to Gintoki? Had he said something before Hijikata had gotten the chance? When would he have had time to do that since he didn't talk to Hijikata until after he'd been done with Gintoki?

“Proper patient etiquette, mostly.”

Hijikata let out a breath of relief, replying, “This is about chewing on the thermometers again, isn't it?”

“I barely chewed on it this time! I didn't _mean_ to!”

“Do you chew on everything that goes into your mouth or are thermometers special?”

Gintoki glared halfheartedly. “It reminds me of a dango stick, smartass. I chew on those sticks to make sure I get all the dango off them and a thermometer is about the same size. I think it's just habit or whatever, but the doc acts like it's an intentional declaration of war.”

“To him, it probably is.”

Gintoki made a noncommittal noise and the way he watched Hijikata then was odd. They stared at each other and Hijikata got the feeling there was something Gintoki wanted to say, but maybe didn't know how. It occurred to him that perhaps there had been an ulterior motive to turning the light back on, but Hijikata didn't know what Gintoki could possibly want to talk about. They weren't _talkers_ , neither of them were, but Hijikata was starting to think it was possible that both of them were trying to figure out how to _try_.

“Speaking of dango, are you hungry?”

As soon as he asked, his wing did that lovely jerking thing it did sometimes and it startled him so bad he let out a sound much alike a yelp. He glared at the offensive appendage and as if to mock him, the wing shook rudely without his permission. Remembering some of the things Wan had said to him earlier, he arched his back and stretched to try to get the muscles to move around or loosen. He still thought it was a long shot, but he was becoming more and more willing to make special efforts if it meant this jerking nonsense would _stop_.

When he settled down properly again, he found Gintoki watching him even more intently and he colored. Just to prove he was fine, he moved both his wings up and then back down, then stretched them wide before relaxing them again. They did everything he told them to do without any mishaps and he counted that as a victory.

“Anyway... food... you hungry?”

“Not really. You?”

“I could eat.”

He really could and also, he thought that maybe if he started to eat, then Gintoki might follow along and eat with him. Gintoki was the type of asshole that would steal food from someone else just to be annoying and Hijikata was more than fine giving him the opportunity to do so. However, it was bittersweet since eating meant moving and he wasn't too inclined to do that. He kind of liked the way they were situated and he didn't know what it was about Gintoki's wing being over him, but he'd gotten used to it to the point that having it over him at night was almost a staple.

Gintoki and Hijikata moved at the same time and while Gintoki got up to grab some of the food from the corner, Hijikata reached for their bag. He extracted his bottle of mayonnaise and as he was sitting back down on his futon, his right wing shuddered. It didn't jerk, but it trembled like it _wanted_ to jerk or was preparing to yank outward, and Hijikata sighed.

The food was set in front of him and he moodily grabbed some senbei, which he covered in an even layer of mayonnaise. Next, he ate the package of castella and covered that in mayonnaise as well. Gintoki wasn't reaching for any food, he just sat across from Hijikata on his own futon and distracted himself with cleaning up their dislodged feathers. There was more castella in the pile, some anpan, a small bag of arare, a sack of konpeito, and a round tin of bisuko, but Gintoki wasn't even glancing at any of it. Hijikata even opened the tin of bisuko to spread them out and show them off, but still, there was no interest.

“Gonna piss,” Gintoki informed him as he got up and Hijikata almost tossed his hands.

Hijikata finished his castella and moved the unopened food aside, but he kept the tin of bisuko open just in case. He used a pack with a damp napkin to wipe off his hands and he hoped Gintoki didn't get lost on his journey to the bathroom, which was in a different hall, because he wasn't a fan of being on his own in this place. The quiet really was unsettling, it wasn't even this silent at the barracks and that somehow felt wrong considering the barracks was technically more secluded than this building.

While he waited, Hijikata reached around himself and rubbed his lower back with his middle knuckles. He applied as much pressure as he could given the angle, but he didn't think he was getting himself in the right spot. Anywhere along his spine was helpful, according to Wan, but he couldn't get to the spot on his back where the nerve seemed to be giving him the most problems. If it was even the nerve, which Hijikata still wasn't convinced of. He'd talked to Wan about it earlier, but that conversation hadn't gone well and it was clear Wan was getting frustrated with him – maybe even more so than with Gintoki.

“What're you doing?”

“Nothing,” Hijikata replied and let his arm drop.

Gintoki sat back down on his futon and raised a brow, asking, “You're _really_ not gonna tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

Gintoki rolled his eyes to the ceiling and shook his head. “Alright, you can't say I haven't been at least semi-patient with you about it. Hold still.”

Hijikata didn't need to be told to hold still because as soon as Gintoki got closer to him, he automatically froze. Gintoki sat down behind Hijikata and brushed some loose feathers off his right wing the way he would if they were preening. It was the same way he'd done it earlier, but this time, it somehow felt different.

“Wan said to focus around your wings and the center of your back.”

“Wan said what now?”

“I know about the nerve theory, Mayora.”

“You don't have to do anything about it,” Hijikata told him, his wings fluffing up on their own accord.

“You're already not doing anything,” Gintoki quipped. “Do you have the pack he gave you?”

Hijikata looked over his shoulder. “He told you about that?”

“He told me awhile ago and then he informed me today that you haven't tried any of his recommendations.”

“I've... been a little distracted?”

Distracted trying to figure out what was going on with Gintoki, no less.

“So, keep being distracted,” Gintoki said, “I'll take care of this for you. Where's the pack?”

“In the closet underneath one of my yukatas.”

“Oh, so you didn't bring it?”

“Of course not! Why would I bring that here?”

“I don't know, maybe because you need it?”

“I don't _need_ it!”

“You need to try it,” Gintoki amended. “You're lucky the good doctor gave me one today, just in case.”

Gintoki went to retrieve the pack he'd been given and Hijikata sighed in utter resignation. He shouldn't have put this off for so long, he should have at least made an attempt to work on himself, but in his mind, he'd had better things to do. Gintoki turned the pack over in his hands to inspect it and it didn't take him long to figure out how to snap the stuff on the inside to get the pad to heat up.

In a quiet moment of reflection, Hijikata pieced together that this was probably what Gintoki had been struggling to figure out how to bring up. He thought back to some conversations they'd had since the last time they'd seen Wan and one conversation in particular back at the pond made more sense now. Gintoki had been probing then and Hijikata hadn't even realized it.

“If you knew all this time, why haven't you said anything until now?”

“I was waiting for you to tell me if you wanted to,” Gintoki replied and placed the pack so it was directly center of Hijikata's wings. “You never mentioned it, so I figured you didn't want to.”

That didn't feel good for some reason... it was like he'd let Gintoki down....

It felt like Gintoki had expected him to tell him and he hadn't.

“And now that doesn't matter?”

“Do you really not want to give this a try and see if it'll help?”

Hijikata lowered his head, grumbling, “I think you know the answer to that.”

“Then shut up and let me work my magic!”

“What magic? Do you do this often for people?”

“It's natural perm magic!”

“What a load of crap!”

Gintoki flicked his ear and then both of his hands were on Hijikata's shoulders, which effectively shut him up. He tried not to tense and he did his best to act like this was all fine and normal. Gintoki wasn't acting weird about it, so it was stupid for Hijikata to get worked up over nothing. Except, it wasn't nothing, not to him.

“Okay, your wings just shook a little... does that mean anything? Is that a warning that one of them is about to try to detach itself from your body?”

“No, I was just getting comfortable.”

That was kind of a lie, but there was enough truth to it that Gintoki didn't seem to feel the need to question it. He just made an affirmative sound and pressed his thumbs into the area on either side of Hijikata's spine. He felt his way down to about the middle of Hijikata's back and went back up after that. Each movement was slow and he wasn't pressing very hard, but it was enough that Hijikata could feel it having an effect on his muscles. The pack wasn't moved while Gintoki did this and he was careful not to dislodge it as he worked. Hijikata sat as still as he could and only moved when Gintoki applied more pressure, urging him to adjust accordingly.

“Why're you pushing so hard?”

“Keep leaning.”

Hijikata let Gintoki's hands guide him and he kept leaning forward until he was doubled over unnaturally. He thought it would stop then, but Gintoki's hands remained insistent.

“This is really uncomfortable, stop pushing!”

“Keep leaning!”

“I can't!”

“You can!”

“I can't or I'll be on the floor!”

“Good, that's where I'm trying to get you to go!”

Hijikata let out a strangled noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a scoff as he shifted to get his legs under him.

“Why didn't you just say so?”

Both of Gintoki's hands remained on his back, but he was no longer pushing as Hijikata moved and he replied, “That's not as fun.”

“Sadist.”

“And don't you forget it!”

Once Hijikata was settled on his stomach, Gintoki shifted the pack and sat beside Hijikata beneath his left wing. He was on his knees so he could reach anywhere on Hijikata's back and this time, he pressed his fingers into the base of Hijikata's wings. As soon as he began kneading, Hijikata bit his lip and tensed.

“Does that hurt?”

“No,” Hijikata replied, forcing himself with everything he had to sound normal. “Just not used to being touched much.”

Another lie buried within a truth.

He was used to the occasional friendly touch from Kondo – a hug, an arm over his shoulder, things of that nature – but this was something else entirely. Even Wan poking at him didn't bother him too much because it was all clinical and impersonal... this was anything but that. The laughable thing was that Gintoki wasn't doing anything except giving him an inexperienced and probably average massage.

“I know what you mean,” Gintoki murmured and slid his hands back to Hijikata's spine.

Just then, Hijikata remembered a conversation he'd had with Gintoki awhile back, the one about why Kagura always shoved her face between Gintoki's wings. Gintoki's reaction made a lot more sense now and Hijikata truly believed that he and Gintoki were the same. Gintoki really _did_ know how he felt and knowing that helped Hijikata relax more fully.

He thought he was doing a pretty convincing job of being fine with this until his right wing jerked outward.

“Oops! Was that because of me?”

“No! No, that was me!”

“You did it on purpose?”

“No!”

“Then how was it you?”

“I just got into my own head too much, that's all!”

Gintoki's fingers remained unmoving. “Do you want me to stop?”

“You don't have to do this if you don't want to.”

“That wasn't the question, Oogushi-kun.”

Hijikata took a deep breath and closed his eyes because he was messing this all up with his own stupid shit. He could feel that his face was heating up and he valiantly ignored that in favor of calming himself. Hijikata knew Gintoki was doing this to help him, that was all it was, and Gintoki was putting himself out there just to offer it, but Hijikata couldn't seem to convince his body of what his mind already knew. He trusted Gintoki as much as he trusted his faction and he didn't want to screw that up over... over _what_?

“No, I want...” he stumbled briefly over what to say next, not knowing how exactly to say it, and so settled on simply, “this.”

Gintoki's fingers started moving again and he replied, “I'd want to get my wings under control, too, if I were you. At least you're smart enough not to run into any door frames with yours.”

“Mine aren't as big.”

“Finally admitting I'm bigger?” Both of Hijikata's wings shot out in a nervous and exceptionally sharp jerk as he gargled. Gintoki laughed and held Hijikata down so he wouldn't move, but that didn't _help_ at all. Feeling Gintoki holding him down, pressing into him with the weight of his own body, it made things _worse_. “Don't freak, it was a joke! Don't be such a prude!”

“I'm not a prude!”

“One joke about size and you're convulsing!”

 _Because I'm trying to calm down and thinking about_ that _doesn't help_ , Hijikata thought desperately and folded his left wing inward to hit Gintoki with it.

“I just wasn't expecting it!”

“That sounds exactly like something a prude would say,” Gintoki jeered and gave Hijikata's wing a gentle shove. “I'll be sure to warn you the next time I wanna make a dirty joke.”

“You _are_ a dirty joke,” Hijikata snarked moodily.

“Good one. That was nice. Very tasteful.”

Gintoki patted Hijikata's back consolingly and he started massaging again after that. The weird thing was... he actually did seem sorry or at least somewhat contrite. Hijikata refused to look at him, but he could feel it through Gintoki's hands. It was strange to be able to feel something like that, but he _could_ all the same. Those hands went up to Hijikata's biceps and gave them a warm squeeze before angling inward toward the pack. His fingers were more precise and gentle with no further teasing to be had.

The situation was as awkward as the silence. Hijikata had admitted to being friends with Gintoki, but he was friends with Kondo and he wouldn't accept a goddamn massage from his Commander. He wouldn't allow anyone in his faction to do this, either. If anything, this was messing him up even more because if this was indeed friendship, then what kind of friends were they?

“Try raising your arms to under your head.”

Hijikata did just that and quietly folded his arms, then rested his cheek on them. Doing that changed the position of the muscles in his back and that made it easier for Gintoki to get to his spine. The heated pack was moved downward and once it was relocated, Gintoki used his fingers and palms to knead the area the pack had previously been on. The yukata was getting in the way, but Hijikata sure as hell wasn't going to suggest removing it, he definitely didn't think he could handle that. He didn't know what he'd do if Gintoki made the suggestion.

“Does it feel like it's doing anything?”

Hijikata's eyes slit open. “It's difficult to tell.”

“Why don't you try moving your wings around while I do this and we'll see if they twitch or you have trouble moving them if I hit a certain spot?”

“That's actually not a bad idea.” Gintoki inhaled like he was about to say something and Hijikata added quickly, “Yes, I _know_ , you have good ideas sometimes. Save your breath.”

The air Gintoki had inhaled came out in a gust along with a low chuckle and he didn't say anything. Hijikata started moving his wings, but he didn't do anything extravagant. He simply moved them up and down a little bit and paid attention to what it felt like to do it.

“Let me know if I hit something,” Gintoki said.

“How should I inform you? A wing to the face?”

“Use your words,” Gintoki advised.

“No promises.”

Gintoki pinched him through his yukata and he _accidentally_ clipped Gintoki with his wing. A retaliation would have probably come if Gintoki hadn't touched a spot that made Hijikata's opposite wing shudder to a stop. It was a weird feeling to have that happen, but it didn't hurt. He lifted his head and stared at his wing while Gintoki did the same thing. Hijikata started moving his wing again and Gintoki waited a moment before pressing down on the same spot. Like before, Hijikata's wing came to an uneasy stop without him consciously making it.

“Well, that's... something,” Gintoki offered.

“Yeah....”

“It doesn't hurt?”

“No, it just feels like pressure.”

Gintoki shifted his weight so his hands were just resting on Hijikata's back, asking, “Too much?”

Hijikata shook his head. “This is so weird, I don't know how to explain it.”

“So, it _is_ a nerve problem?”

“It... could be?”

“Okay, then can I try something?”

Hijikata glanced back at him and nodded with an uneven shrug. Gintoki went to work right away and Hijikata laid his head back down once Gintoki gave it a push. Hijikata wasn't told to keep moving his wings, so he kept completely still while Gintoki kneaded on top of the spot he'd been touching as well as all around it. He used the heels of his palms sometimes, but most of the time he used his thumbs to really dig into Hijikata's muscles. He took his time and didn't rush and at no point did Hijikata's wing so much as give the tiniest twitch.

“Let's try again,” Gintoki said after maybe twenty minutes.

Surprisingly, Hijikata had to take a moment to process the words. He hadn't realized he'd been lulled into a light doze and the sound of Gintoki's voice took longer to register than it should have. He eventually put together what Gintoki meant and started moving his wing up and down like before. This time, when Gintoki applied pressure to the spot on his spine, his wing slowed, but didn't stop entirely.

“I'm not an expert, but that seems like a good thing.”

“I think you might be right,” Hijikata replied and he cleared his throat when it came out rough. “But this isn't anything like the violent jerking that happens.”

“That's true, but if the jerking is really caused by you pinching a nerve, then wouldn't it make sense that the pull of the jerk will be less violent if your muscles aren't so knotted up? Isn't that what Wan meant when he suggested you try doing this?”

“Yeah, but muscles don't _stay_ relaxed all the time.” Hijikata wriggled to sit up and Gintoki moved back over onto his own futon so they could sit and face each other. “It doesn't seem like this is a real fix to the problem.”

“We'll talk to Wan about it and see, but we should also see if there are any other spots on your back that make your wings do things.”

“Definitely,” Hijikata agreed and sheepishly lowered his head, “but not tonight.”

Gintoki leered at him. “You were falling asleep, weren't you?”

“I was well on my way... another few minutes and I would've been a goner.”

“What'd I tell you?” Gintoki waggled his fingers. “ _Magic_!”

Hijikata snorted and rolled his eyes, but he was grateful because the awkwardness was mostly gone. The way Gintoki was acting had a lot to do with it because he was being himself and that really did make a difference. Their lantern began to dim and Gintoki leaned over to inspect it.

“This thing is almost outta juice.”

“Guess that's our cue.”

It was definitely late and he _was_ tired, but he was still reluctant to roll over onto his back. He missed being able to sleep on his stomach and honestly, staying up with Gintoki wasn't so bad. It wasn't the worst way to spend his night, especially this night in a new place, but he didn't think he could mentally handle a back rub followed by staying up together talking in the dark.

“Yeah, I guess.” Gintoki yawned and shimmied down onto his stomach, then stretched his wing out like he was supposed to. “Anyway, morning will be here before we know it.”

“It's already morning.”

The lantern continued to dim, but Gintoki's wing blocked most of the light out for him.

“It isn't morning until I see the sun.”

“You will before too long.”

“Shut _up_ ,” Gintoki growled and smooshed his wing down on top of Hijikata.

They batted at each other until the lantern extinguished and any awkwardness left died with it.

-o-O-o-

They only ended up getting a scant few hours of sleep and it was all full of tossing and turning. There was a lot of waking up, checking to see if there was a reason they woke up, finding nothing, staring at the ceiling, and slowly falling into another uneasy sleep. Hijikata knew Gintoki had been doing the same thing as him because when they were both officially woken up, his eyes were just as bloodshot and the dark circles starting to form were a decent indicator as well. Unlike them, Wan was bright eyed and absolutely brimming with excited energy.

“This is extraordinary!”

“Take it down a notch,” Gintoki warned and he was the very picture of grumpy.

“Sorry, sorry! But look, I've got good news!” Wan stood in front of them with papers and diagrams clutched in his giddy arms. “I think it's good news, anyway. I still have more studying to do, but this is a good sign!”

“What've you got?” Hijikata asked and sat up properly.

He actually had to force himself to pay attention to Wan because he was almost immediately distracted by how good he felt. He'd only gotten a few hours of sleep, sure, but he felt looser and oddly rested despite that.

“You know that muscle we discussed in your front?”

“Yeah,” Hijikata replied and Gintoki nodded.

“Nothing else about your bodies have been changed!” Wan exclaimed. “Not that I can see from the scans I've got! The wings are like backpacks! They're on your back and they're... strapped on, to keep going with the metaphor, but they haven't changed your human composition!”

“And the muscle is how they're attached to us?”

“Yes, but it doesn't appear to be a _real_ muscle, not by our standards as humans!”

“What about the nerves?” Hijikata asked. “We can still feel them and they react to us.”

“The nerves are there, but they don't seem to be fused with your nervous system. These wings aren't from our world and they weren't made for humans. From these scans you can clearly see the nerve endings that come from the wings and you can see how they look different from your other nerves. After studying them throughout the night, I'm under the impression that for a human body, this is all they need in order to function properly. In all likelihood, the connection would look and react different depending on what species they're attached to. Isn't it fascinating?”

Gintoki picked his ear. “It'd be fascinating if we knew a way to get them off us.”

“I understand, I understand! I may not know that yet, but with these scans we know that removing the wings won't leave damage to your nervous system! Or, shouldn't, I should say.”

Before Gintoki could respond with something dry like he was clearly going to, Hijikata asked, “Does my twitch problem make anymore sense?”

“I'm still working on that, but this is such a good start so far!”

“We think we might have figured some stuff out last night.”

Wan's eyes lit up and his glasses glinted. “Did you use the heat pack?”

“Yeah, with mixed results.”

“That's wonderful! While I was going through things, I found some areas I want to revisit before you leave. Is it okay if I recheck some measurements and compare a few notes? We can talk some more while I do it! I'll explain everything I've got so far and I want to hear all about your discoveries!”

“You mean... more poking?” Gintoki asked, visibly disheartened and the pathetic image he made was accentuated by his sleep skewed hair.

“It's fine,” Hijikata said and reached for his phone. “I'll let our ride know we're moving the time back.”

Gintoki groaned and Wan beamed.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata had never been more glad to be back at the apartment.

They'd only just gotten back and it was already in the afternoon. Wan had taken forever with his poking and questioning and Hijikata was sure his brow was still ticking from time to time. He was in the bedroom unpacking and Gintoki was off somewhere doing something. He thought maybe Gintoki was calling Otae to see where the kids were at since they were currently both missing from the apartment. The kids were usually among Gintoki's first priority, anyway, so it made sense he'd be looking for them.

Among the things Hijikata unpacked were all the snacks that had been at Wan's. Wan had insisted that Hijikata take them and he wasn't very subtle about suggesting he keep them anywhere that would be easy for Gintoki to get to. It was a good idea, but Hijikata didn't have much faith in it. Regardless, he put the bisuko and arare at the head of the bed and he planned on putting the rest of the items in various places like the desk and on the kitchen kotatsu.

The last thing he did was put away the extra packs Wan had given him. Wan had asked all kinds of questions about how Hijikata was feeling now that his back had gotten some attention and he'd been honest in his answers. His wings hadn't twitched since the night before, he felt _good_ , and so Wan had overdone it with the new packs and he'd given Hijikata and Gintoki instructions on how best to ease back muscles. Hijikata didn't yet know how he felt about all that information or the prospect of trying any of it, so he was bent on ignoring it for the time being.

With the room set and stuff put away, Hijikata went out into the living room. There was no sign of the kids still and that was strange only because he'd expected them to just materialize out of the floorboards the second Gintoki had returned. Not even the dog was around and Gintoki was probably going through some kind of withdrawal without seeing any of them after a _day_. Sure enough, Gintoki was standing behind his desk with his phone pressed to his ear and Hijikata went over there to arrange the work Yamazaki had given him on the way over.

“Yeah, we just got back.” Hijikata purposefully jostled Gintoki as he joined him. “Oo, that sounds good! Bring it up!” Gintoki extended a wing out to playfully push him back. “So send Catherine or Tama to do it!” They both went to sit in the seat and fought each other for it. “How is that my problem? Quit being so lazy and bring it up yourself!” Gintoki hooked his leg around Hijikata's and with a hard flap of one wing, he managed to slam himself down into the chair while tripping Hijikata to fall against the desk. “Actually, the Mayora is free, he can do it.” Hijikata glared and Gintoki gave a toothy grin. “Yeah, he'll be right down.”

“Whatever it is, I'm not doing it,” Hijikata said as Gintoki hung up the phone.

“You lost the chair battle, so now you have to go downstairs and get lunch.” He tilted his head in thought, his smile vanishing. “Or is it dinner now? Early dinner and late lunch? What's that called? Linner? We were trapped there so _long_ , it feels like I lost years off my life!”

Hijikata opened his mouth to argue – and say something about Gintoki's babbling because seriously? Linner? – but the words died instantly. Gintoki really needed to eat, he hadn't touched much of what Wan had given them for breakfast, and Hijikata was so hungry he was starting to get cranky, so what was the big deal?

“You're lucky I'm starving,” Hijikata said with forced malice.

Gintoki smirked triumphantly and Hijikata gave him one more dirty look before going to the door. He grabbed his cover and flung it around himself, then, after putting on is sandals, he sent up a silent prayer that his wings wouldn't freak out on his way down the stairs. He was a simple man with simple wants and stepping outside, he took a deep and bracing breath against the oppressing heat. He moved his way down the stairs and he was doing fine... except for the feeling he got when he was about halfway down.

Hijikata stopped and stared at the road at the base of the stairs while the feeling of eyes on him made his skin prickle. Something wasn't right and he knew it. He thought about turning around and going back into the apartment, but that left the bar unaware of any danger and unguarded. He wouldn't say it was unguarded if he knew Tama was down there or even Catherine, but he _didn't_ know, so it was safer to assume it was just Otose by herself. The next idea was to continue on and go into the bar like he'd intended, but that could just as easily mean leading the danger directly in there. If he entered the bar and whoever was watching him came in after him, Otose could get hurt in the crossfire. Again, that was assuming Tama and Catherine weren't there, but he couldn't risk going in and gambling that they were present.

This left him standing in place, not going forward and not going back. Anyone walking by would see him and they'd wonder why he had a blanket around him. They'd take a closer look out of curiosity and they'd see the feathers that were visible as well as the odd shape the blanket made at his back. He was too exposed out here, but he had nowhere else to go.

Knowing he couldn't just stand there anymore, he swallowed thickly and blinked some sweat out of his left eye. There was no other choice except to continue down the stairs, so he did, but he stopped a the bottom. He moved to stand beneath the overhang and he put his back into the corner so he could see on all other sides of him. If he waited long enough, Gintoki would start wondering where he was or Otose would call up and see why he hadn't come down yet. Biding his time out in the open seemed like the safest option all around, but even that had enough risk to it that he was left sweating even more.

His eyes darted all around the road and he _thought_ he saw something glint from a rooftop, but by the time he looked, it was gone. He was definitely being watched and monitored, someone had to have followed them from Wan's. He suddenly wished for a cigarette, even just a puff, because that would at least take a bit of the edge off. He did his best not to tense up for fear that that might trigger his wings to jerk, but with each passing moment he could feel himself failing a little more at that.

A couple people walked by, some of them not glancing at him because of where he was standing, but those that did look at him, their gazes lingered. Hijikata did his best to dissuade them from looking by sending them nasty looks in return, but that didn't always work. He stood out too much, he looked too suspicious, and inside _really_ needed to notice he wasn't where he should be.

From his right, a car rolled up and the windows weren't tinted, but he knew it was for him. The car was smaller than one of his patrol cars and with his wings, he'd barely fit in the back. He was sure they'd make him fit by any means necessary and that thought gained credence when a man got out of the passenger seat. The driver put the car in park and three more guys appeared, each from a different direction, and Hijikata began toeing off his sandals in preparation. Out of the corner of Hijikata's eye, he saw that flash again and guessed that there was someone else keeping a lookout.

“You might as well just get in the car,” one guy said. “We've got you outnumbered and there's nowhere for you to go.”

“I'm good right where I am, thanks.”

“Have it your way.”

Hijikata was a fighter and he could scrap with the best of them any day of the week. When those guys came at him, he dropped his cover and took them on. He was outnumbered, but he'd been outnumbered many times before and came out on top. Even without his sword, he knew how to scuffle hand to hand and these guys were finding that out the hard way.

If circumstances were normal, Hijikata would have been able to truly take care of these guys the way they deserved, which included being arrested. It wouldn't be easy since he was outnumbered, but he'd have been able to do it. However, as things were when he had wings on his back and nowhere to go, he could only hold them off for so long.

He really did everything he could, but he ended up being shoved at knife point into the backseat of the car anyway. There was blood on his cheek, but he didn't think it was his and he tried with all his might to keep himself from getting trapped in the vehicle. One of the guys was already in the car and he snagged one of Hijikata's arms so he was being pushed on one side and pulled on the other. Once a leather strap was latched around his wrist and anchored on something, there wasn't much more he could do. He still did his damnedest to make it as difficult as possible to get him in the car, but with so many people against him, he couldn't do _enough_. He couldn't even yell out because if Otose came outside to see what was happening and they went after her – that just _couldn't happen_.

His wings didn't fit in this car at all, just like he'd thought, and so the ridges of his wings had to stay pressed against the roof. There was a barrier of mesh between front and the back, so Hijikata couldn't try attacking either of them. The leather band around his wrist was bound to a hook fixed into where the seatbelt buckle would usually go in the center of the seat and he couldn't tell _how_ the leather attached to it.

He still fought, though, and he didn't stop even when a guy got in next to him and practically sat with his back pressing Hijikata's wing against the seat. Not even a knife being pointed on him could dissuade him and that was how he got his arm cut pretty deep. Someone on the outside slammed the door shut, narrowly missing Hijikata's wing, and once Hijikata heard all the doors lock, he knew he was fucked.

“Where's the sedative?”

“You don't have it?”

“No, I thought you did!”

“We talked about this! You're supposed to have it!”

“Goddamn it, it's not in the trunk, is it?”

There were a lot of people in front of them and the amount of bodies made it impossible to hastily force a car through. Instead, the car was put into reverse and having a view of the apartment getting smaller as distance was put between them was a horrible feeling. Hijikata struggled some more and tried kicking at the door to get it open. It fucking hurt because there was no goddamn room for his wings and a fatass was sitting on one of them, but he ignored the pain of terrible bodily angles. Hell, he was practically in the guy's lap as he contorted himself to get the door into kicking distance.

When the attempt on the door didn't work, he tried for the window and managed to kick it hard enough to make the glass shatter. He cut his feet, but he barely felt it and the men in the car were yelling orders at each other to try and get him under control. He wasn't paying attention to what they were saying anymore than he was paying attention to the burn in his arm as it strained against the leather binding him like a leash. The guy in the back with him was fighting him and getting in the way, but since it was clear they weren't supposed to kill him, Hijikata used that to his advantage.

Suddenly, there was a thud and the whole car shuddered and rocked violently from the blow. The men momentarily stopped yelling and even Hijikata ceased struggling because it'd felt like a terrible earthquake had just ripped the ground open beneath them.

“What the _fuck_?”

“It's the other one!”

“What're you doin'? _Move_!”

“The engine's smoking!”

Hijikata shifted around so he could see and he found Gintoki staring back at him, his wings curved wide out to his sides. He was crouched on the hood with his elbows on his knees, his bokken at his hip, and the metal below him was bent grotesquely from his landing _._ The engine really was spewing out some smoke beneath him, but he appeared totally unconcerned with that. Time felt frozen until Gintoki tipped his head to the side and, with a little smile on his face, he reached out and rapped the back of his knuckles against the window like he was knocking and asking to come in.

[((Art by: Tai))](http://taichichuwhat.tumblr.com/)

But his wings... those told a different story. His two huge white wings were raised and half-spread wide, looming, shaking – Gintoki was _angry_.

Reading the signs, taking in Gintoki's behavior, Hijikata reacted immediately. He twisted back around and covered his head with both arms just in time to protect himself from a shower of glass. Gintoki had drawn his bokken and smashed the entirety of the windshield open in one swift strike to get at the guys in the front seats. Hijikata took that opportunity to claw at the door lock with one hand and he didn't stop until he got the device to pop. Gintoki had already dragged both guys out straight through the windshield and Hijikata wrenched the door open while the guy beside him tried to find the knife he'd dropped thanks to Hijikata's flailing.

Hijikata scrambled to get out of the car and got both feet on the ground, but getting his wings out was tricky. He tucked them in close and adjusted them as much as he could to force himself out of the doorway, but it was rough going. For one thing, his wrist was still encased in unforgiving leather and for another, there was sweat dripping into his eyes. One of the guys that hadn't been in the car was coming for him and he didn't have _time_ to linger in a fucking car door or figure out a better way to deal with the leather.

Frustrated, Hijikata yanked himself out of the frame and threw all his weight against his shackle. He wasn't sure if the band around his wrist broke or if the hook it was attached to gave way, but for a fleeting moment, he was free. He managed to get his second wing halfway out, but what he hadn't expected was for the guy still in the car to grab his wrist and stop him in the middle of standing. The sudden constraint wrenched his shoulder against his momentum, keeping him stuck, and he barely had time to ready his one free arm for impact. The man coming at him ran into him, body-slamming him against the car, and that, as it turned out, marked the end of it.

There was a sickening _snap_ as Hijikata's trapped wing _broke_ where it was wedged against the doorframe and he didn't know if he made a sound, he didn't know what was happening with Gintoki, he didn't know anything at all – his whole world went white hot, then the only thing left was a black _nothing_.

**To Be Continued**

 


	30. It Keeps Building and Building and Feather Keep Falling and Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mixed emotions and wow, Gintoki makes a wrong assumption.

Hijikata's life became snatches of time, most of which he didn't remember and couldn't connect to. He registered very little and even his dreams were messed up splotches of confusion that made no sense. Dreams and reality were only somewhat distinguishable, but it was like being in water without knowing which way was up. At times there was pain, other times there was heat or cold, but most of the time, it was infinite listlessness.

Currently, from what little Hijikata could tell, there was warmth. The warmth was so comfortable, so safe, he didn't want to leave it. So, he didn't. He nuzzled his face into it and took a deep breath, letting the heady scent out slow. He was mindless and limited to only reaction with never anything else.

That was all he remembered before it all blanked out again.

-o-O-o-

“Oops,” Gintoki murmured to himself as Hijikata's head moved against his thigh where it was resting.

He must have disturbed him and that wasn't surprising since he was in so much discomfort. He'd started to move and it was upsetting the way his wing was situated, so Gintoki had sat down with him to keep him still. That'd been maybe twenty minutes ago and Hijikata had finally gone still again. Sweat had soaked through Gintoki's pants where Hijikata's head was resting, but he wasn't perspiring as much as he had been before.

Since Hijikata was doing okay, Gintoki carefully and somewhat reluctantly extracted himself so he could go over to his desk. He sat down in his chair – the cursed _chair_ – where he could see Hijikata and the sick feeling in his stomach wouldn't go away. Every time he looked at Hijikata, his gut dropped and he could swear he tasted something sour at the back of his throat. The _snap_ of Hijikata's wing and the noise he'd made afterward was embroidered into Gintoki's head. He wasn't squeamish, gore didn't bother him, he'd seen enough carnage to not even blink at it anymore, but seeing something like that happen to Hijikata right in front of him had rocked him unsteady.

That was only half of it, though, and the guilt was the other half. Hijikata would never have been down there by himself if Gintoki hadn't given him no choice but to go. Gintoki should have been the one going down, not Hijikata, and that was the truth of it. Hijikata wouldn't have broken his wing if Gintoki hadn't decided to be an asshole to him.

The slide of the front door interrupted his thoughts and he schooled his features to make sure none of his feelings were buried deep where they belonged. Shinpachi and Kagura came into view and just behind them, Otae poked her head in. Kagura opened her mouth to say something, but Shinpachi slapped his hands over her face to keep her quiet. While they were having a silent discussion with their eyes, Otae raised an arm above their heads and waved Gintoki over. After that, she grabbed each kid, one in either arm, and hauled them both into the kitchen like they weighed nothing to her.

Gintoki got up, but instead of going straight to the kitchen, he went to check on Hijikata again. There was a bowl of water at the base of the two sofas with a washcloth in it and he grabbed the cloth to wring it out. Hijikata's brow was covered in beads of sweat and Gintoki gently wiped and dabbed it all away. He rinsed the cloth and then used it to cool off the back of Hijikata's neck and up around his temples. Hijikata didn't respond and, as ever, that was unsettling and he didn't like it. He wanted Hijikata to snap at him, resist, call him an asshole, blame him, hate him, just... _anything_ would be better than this.

He finished up and went to the kitchen where everyone was waiting, but he wasn't feeling very social. Regardless, he greeted both kids the way he was supposed to and he had a very exuberant and normal exchange with Otae. Things like that would typically lift his mood, but it wasn't doing anything for him right now.

“You're not looking too well,” Otae told him while Kagura buried her face between Gintoki's wings like she usually did.

“Is this a natural perm joke? Or maybe it's an old man jab, I really can't tell.”

Her expression flattened. “It's an observation that you look like a meal I cooked. Have you been eating okay?”

“Relating me to one of your meals and then asking if I've been eating doesn't inspire an appetite or any memory of what real food looks like.”

“Watch yourself,” she warned.

“All I can taste right now are the ashes of ruined meals.”

“We'll change that!” Shinpachi interjected just as Otae took a warning step forward. “We brought over some good stuff with us!”

“ _You_ cooked it, right?”

“Some of it, we picked up the rest on our way here so it's fresh.”

Gintoki nodded. “Then it's safe.”

Otae glared at him and Kagura popped out through a veil of white feathers, exclaiming, “Food! Let's eat!”

“In a minute,” Shinpachi chastised. “If you want to eat sooner, help me put it together!”

“Who cares about putting it together! Just put it on the table!”

“No! You'll just gather it all to you and shove it in your mouth!”

“I would never!” Kagura declared and pointed at Shinpachi accusingly with a long feather. “That's slander!”

“You almost ate the table last time!”

Gintoki inspected his wing. “That's a _really_ big feather, did you yank it out without me noticing?”

“It fell out when I was messing with them,” she replied and held it in front of his face for him to see. He went to grab it, but she snatched it back, hissing, “Mine.”

She skipped off to help Shinpachi and wheedle away food when he wasn't looking and Gintoki went to the table. He heard the faint hush of the front door sliding open and his insides twisted because he knew who it was. Seconds later, his eyes flicked briefly over and saw Kondo's face through the small gaps between the partition as he walked by. He was the only one that seemed to notice Kondo had entered the apartment and that was likely because Gintoki had been expecting him.

Just the sight of him made Gintoki feel worse.

Otae followed him and took a seat across from him as her eyes traced over his wings. There was only interest on her face – well, that and something overly caring – and she laced her fingers in front of her while she looked.

“Are you used to them yet?”

“I guess,” he replied and shrugged.

The movement seemed to captivate her because when he raised his shoulder, his wing reacted in kind so the motions were connected to the same thought. She kept assessing him and he made sure to look bored in lieu of shifting under her gaze like he wanted to.

“How have you and Hijikata-san been getting along?”

“Fine for the most part, but he has been a little quiet since yesterday afternoon.”

“I can imagine why,” she replied and despite everything, it still felt like she was seeing too much.

Or perhaps he was just reading too much into it since he felt so _raw_ about the whole thing. He was saved from replying, thankfully, because Otae's attention was drawn to the entryway of the kitchen where the small flaps had just been pushed aside.

“Sorry for letting myself in, I didn't want to make noise knocking,” Kondo said, his voice hushed.

As soon as he saw Otae, a huge smile spread across his face, but he didn't lunge at her yelling her name. Instead, he waved enthusiastically and took a step toward her, but the knife she was holding kept him from coming any closer. Where the hell she'd gotten a knife, Gintoki didn't know, but he was at least seventy percent sure she hadn't had it in her hands or visibly on her person the whole time. Kondo redirected over to the table where Gintoki had remained sitting and... he liked Kondo, but he wasn't sure he could deal with him right now.

“How's he doing?”

“Still sleeping, like Wan thought would happen.”

“Yeah, I looked in on him when I got here.” Of course Gintoki knew that, but he bit his tongue and ignored the seed of bitterness that was beginning to grow inside him. “The fever seems better than before.”

“Hasn't broken yet, but it looks like it will soon.”

Kondo nodded and he looked so _concerned_ , which obviously wasn't strange given the situation, but Gintoki wondered if it ever hurt Hijikata. Did it ever bother him to see Kondo consistently volley for Otae's attention and affection? Did it ever hurt him to see how much Kondo _cared_ without being able to love him back? Did Kondo have any idea? Gintoki wouldn't ask even if he could and as it was, the only thing he wanted to do was keep Hijikata's secret closely guarded.

The food was put on the table, but Gintoki well and truly wasn't hungry and looking at so much food just made his stomach turn over. He spread his wings out and let Kagura get in front of one of them so she could sit next to him. The air conditioner kept them cool and Gintoki almost laughed at the look on Kondo's face when Shinpachi squeezed himself between him and Otae.

 _Almost_ laughed, not that it would have been a real one.

He wanted to – he wanted to fall into something comfortable and familiar with the kids and Otae, even Kondo, but he couldn't. His thoughts were on Hijikata and the urge to get up and check on him was overpowering. Someone should be in there with him to make sure he didn't accidentally hurt his wing again or vomit or roll or need something or wake up alone. Despite the air conditioner blowing directly on him, Gintoki started to sweat a bit and his palms were a swampy mess. He could barely even hold his cup when he went to take a sip and he glanced toward the open doorway like that would somehow ease him.

He looked at the cup still in his hand and he didn't remember it being put on the table for him. He stared at the food, then the cup, then the door, and he heard the conversations going on around him, but he didn't _listen_. He hadn't slept a wink since Hijikata had broken his wing and sleep deprivation was catching up to him, he could feel it. His thoughts and feelings were slipping out of his immediate control and the late and restless night at Wan's hadn't helped. He'd gone longer without sleep, he could last days if he needed to, but that always came at some sort of cost to his stability.

Gintoki set his drink down and pulled his plate closer to him. He moved food around with his chopsticks, he put so much _effort_ into paying attention to and playing along with the chatter, and all the while, his mind was in the other room. Sometimes he'd catch Otae staring at him a little too long, but he was good at averting and evading. He wasn't yet too tired to slip up or reveal too much, of that he was certain.

The meal seemed to drag on and he hated himself for wanting it to be over with. It wasn't about the people he was with, he was glad they were there, it was good to be with them, but did he _deserve_ to have what he was getting? A very loud part of him said no and that was currently the only part he could hear... or the only part he was listening to.

All told, it was a short visit, as it was meant to be. The kids and Otae had only come over to see him and check in between visits from various Shinsengumi members, Wan, and Kondo. So many people had been filtering in and out, it felt like, and Gintoki was craving some quiet. There was a certain kind of safety in silence and solitude, which was ironic because those were the two most dangerous things for someone like him.

By the time they were leaving, Gintoki felt like he was chasing them out of the door. He wasn't, not really, but it sure felt that way. He couldn't remember what they'd even talked about during the meal or what they'd had. Had he sampled any of it? He thought maybe he had, but he didn't recall tasting it. Kagura, some feathers in her arms, and Shinpachi told him they'd see him soon, then dashed downstairs to see Otose.

“Both noise makers are still staying with me for a few days,” Otae said as she stepped out onto the balcony. Kondo had already been thwarted back in the kitchen, so it was just the two of them and Gintoki felt a phantom pull tugging him toward the living room. “Are you going to be okay on your own?”

“This might shock you, but I've made it on my own before.”

“True, but now you don't have to.”

That struck him harder than he expected and it amazed him that she could needle him like that sometimes. It wasn't a bad thing, but fuck everything if he was used to it at all yet.

“I know how to get a hold of you,” he said passively.

She sighed, but accepted the answer and they said goodbye. As soon as he was able to close the door, he was striding toward the living room, but it was pointless. He walked in and Kondo was already there with Gintoki's chair pulled close enough to the sofas to be able to reach out and touch.

“You look tired, Gin-san.”

“Yeah, there was this _thing_ that happened recently and I've been a bit preoccupied.”

Kondo's answering smile was tempered and understanding. “I'm here now and I'm going to stay awhile, why don't you try to get a nap in?”

Was that real concern or was Kondo just trying to get rid of him?

Did it matter?

“Yeah, I think I'll do that.”

He walked to his room and stole a long look at Hijikata as he passed. The fever should definitely be breaking soon and according to Wan, he should be waking up before too long. So far, Wan's predictions and insight were pretty spot on, so Gintoki was willing to put some faith in it. That didn't make him any less anxious about it and he didn't hate all the waiting any less, but Wan's expertise was _something_.

Gintoki entered his room where two futons were still spread out, but neither of them had blankets or pillow. He was sure he wouldn't be able to fall asleep, but he'd stay away and give the two of them all the alone time he could.

-o-O-o-

The snatches of sensation were back and Hijikata was lulled by them, but there was an underlying discomfort that was driving him to distraction. He'd been so comfortable before, but now... no, not now, the comfort was gone. Where had it gone? He needed to find it, but where....

“Are you really awake this time?”

Along with the voice came a soft pressure on Hijikata's forehead and there was a cool relief that followed. It dragged Hijikata in a mentally forward direction and he groaned as wakefulness settled more heavily on him. His narrowed thoughts were interrupted by the acute intrusion of pain as well as a severe ache in his throat and head.

“Thirsty,” he rasped, grating like sandpaper.

“Oh, good! Lemme just...” Hijikata mumbled his annoyance when he was jostled and moved, the warmth leaving him, “there we go. Hold on.”

No longer propped up and now fully on his stomach, Hijikata began to assess what was happening because, honestly, he wasn't so sure. He'd broken his wing, he remembered that much, but after that things got... fuzzy. The pain was still there along with some stiffness and a feeling he could only reconcile with a sore fatigue. He was pretty sure he was on one of the sofas and he knew that there was a blanket over him, which left him to speculate what had previously been under him to prop him up.

“Can't drink on your stomach.”

Hijikata was careful to sit up and he swatted at the hand that touched his shoulder – he could do this on his own. The hand moved to his face and he felt fingers brush his forehead, then his cheek. He didn't open his eyes yet, he kept them shut and instead focused his energy on sitting up. Each shift of his weight added to the throb coming from his back and he didn't bother trying to fight against each wince when they came.

“Mm... what time s'it?”

How long had he been out? What happened to those men? Was it night or day?

“Don't worry about that now, I think your fever is finally gone.”

Hijikata's brows furrowed. “I had a fever?”

“Yeah, must've broken sometime this afternoon, I think.”

“It's after... nnn –”

“Wahh! Easy!” Hijikata found himself steadied by two hands and his head fell forward onto something firm. He hummed a lamentable noise and started to sit up again, but a weight on the back of his neck stopped him. “Hold on a sec, are you dizzy?”

“Thirsty,” Hijikata grumbled.

Gintoki let out an amused breath, one that Hijikata could feel against his temple, and replied, “Lift your head.”

On some level, it registered with him that his head was on Gintoki's shoulder, that was what the firmness was, but he found he didn't care. He willed his arms to move and he clutched at warm fabric to give him some extra leverage to lift his head. The hand on the back of his neck helped, too, and his brows furrowed as another wave of _something_ hit him. A cup was pressed gently to Hijikata's lips and his forehead pushed against a squishy cheek when he tilted his head. He took a sip and cool water had never tasted so good. He knew better than to chug, so he drank slowly and carefully, one sip at a time. Gintoki was patient and adjusted the cup whenever Hijikata had to stop to take a breath. They kept doing that until the entire cup was gone and after that, Hijikata rested his head back down and breathed until the water settled in his stomach.

“Thanks,” he mumbled and took a deep breath.

“Still dizzy?”

“I don't think so.”

“Hungry?”

“Not feelin' that yet.”

Hijikata drowsily opened his eyes and sure enough, his view was what he could see of Gintoki's face and neck. He couldn't make out much, his eyesight was too blurred, but just having them opened seemed to help wake him up. Being in such a position with someone should have been mortifying, but he could barely even see straight, and pain was a good distraction from any embarrassment he should or shouldn't be feeling.

“Do you remember what happened?”

Hijikata grunted and frowned, answering, “My wing broke.”

“Hurt like hell, huh?”

“Like _hell_ ,” Hijikata repeated with a groaned emphasis and the hand on the back of his neck gave a gentle squeeze. “Your sprain....”

“Yeah, that was uncomfortable.”

Hijikata scoffed, but the sound was quiet and lacked any of the scorn he meant to have. Gintoki downplayed things too much. If a break could fell Hijikata so thoroughly, that sprain had to have felt much worse than Gintoki led everyone to believe. Hijikata closed his eyes and tilted his head to tell Gintoki what he thought, but he never got that far. His lips brushed skin and he should care about that, he should at least maybe be alarmed, but he didn't move and Gintoki didn't ask him to.

He needed to move and a big part of him knew that. He wouldn't allow himself to sit like this with Kondo or anyone from his faction and he wasn't sure why Gintoki made it different. Gintoki _did_ make it different, however, and Hijikata was reluctant to move from the safe space. Once he moved, he'd have to face reality and deal with the situation, which wasn't a bad thing, but he wasn't too inclined to do it just yet. Had he hit his head during the attack? It was starting to feel like he had.

When next Hijikata opened his eyes – some unknown and irrelevant amount of time later – everything was in better focus and his world centered the way it should have from the beginning. He noticed things he'd missed before and a peculiar unsettling feeling took hold of him. He realized that they were on the sofas, which were pushed together, and his stomach did this uncomfortable drop – a terrible swoop. Both of their comforters could be seen, his pooled on the bottom while Gintoki's was the top of the makeshift cave that had black and white feathers strewn all through it and both pillows were stacked inside of it.

It looked like a nest.

He pushed away and Gintoki let him go once it was clear that Hijikata could handle himself. Gintoki got up to set the cup aside and Hijikata looked over his shoulder at his wing that was in what appeared to be a splint made of three large strips of dark blue cloth.

“You should probably fill me in on what happened after I blacked out,” Hijikata said and shifted his weight to test himself only to cringe.

“I would, but you just made a really scary face.”

“Uh... yeah, it just hit me how bad I have to pee.”

This was it – this was discomfort that had originally woken him up.

He didn't wait for Gintoki to comment and shimmied on his knees to the end of the edge the sofas made. His back ached and there was no way he was going to get anywhere by himself, but Gintoki said nothing as he offered a hand. They walked to the bathroom with Hijikata committing a strange hobble and Gintoki had to walk almost sideways to keep his wings out of the way. It was embarrassing, but Hijikata had to pee too bad to honestly care and it felt like his bladder was about to fucking burst open.

It didn't matter that the whole room was spinning out when he clawed his way into the small room with the toilet, he was going to piss even if he passed out. His wings made it difficult to fit and his broken one was hurting like a son of a bitch, but he was so too determined to be deterred by anything. He was _not_ going to wet himself on top of everything else, he refused to let that happen.

Needless to say, this was the best piss of his life.

The best and the longest.

It was as he was finishing up and cleaning his hands that a memory came back to him. He didn't know why it chose that moment to slam into his brain, but once it hit him, he was fumbling to get out.

“Wait a second...” he flung the door open, “did you _fly_?”

“Kinda?” Gintoki replied and took Hijikata's forearm to support him as he lurched a step too far forward. “I don't think it was really flying. All I did was jump off the balcony.”

“You say that like you jump off it often.”

“I've jumped off it before,” Gintoki supplied as he helped Hijikata to sit back down on the sofa bed.

“To get out of paying rent, I'm guessing.”

“I'm sure that was the reason at least one of the times.”

Hijikata chuckled and bent forward to rest his elbows on his thighs. It was better on his back that way and he hated that just that short walk had left him so dizzy. He was tempted to rest on his stomach like before, but he was certain he'd just fall asleep again if he did that. He thought back to being in the car and how they'd gone in reverse _away_ from the apartment – he shook his head.

“That was more than just a jump off the balcony, you ass! If you wanna call it a jump, fine, but at least call it one _hell_ of a jump!”

“I don't remember it too much. Heat of the moment and all that.” Gintoki went to his desk and came back a moment later with something in his hand. He held it out for Hijikata and if he was trying to change the subject, it worked like a charm once Hijikata looked at the proffered item. “We might not have to worry about staying inside so much anymore.”

It was a newspaper and the huge picture on the front page was a very detailed depiction of the two of them. Hijikata snatched the paper from him and read the article, which was only a small blurb beneath the obscenely large photo. Hijikata was just starting to get out of the car and Gintoki was in the background still on the hood, his wings open wide. Gintoki was in the process of swinging his bokken back against an attacker and Hijikata at least didn't look like a complete idiot because he hadn't yet realized he was stuck in the car door.

“Holy shit... who took this?”

“It doesn't say.”

“It doesn't say our names, either,” Hijikata said and he was really having to squint to get the words to focus.

Gintoki leaned back against his desk and let out a loud breath, saying, “Yeah, it was a quick print. The person that took the photo went straight to the publisher and they sent people over to investigate. Gorilla already had things cleaned up by then and the area has been covered by Shinsengumi ever since to keep an eye open for anyone sniffing around. One of your guys found the reporter asking questions and Gorilla managed to make a compromise.”

“And the compromise was?”

“The newspaper was allowed to print the picture and make speculations about us in exchange for leaving out our names and dropping any investigation on us.”

Hijikata folded the paper back up and shook his head. “What a fucking mess.”

“You're telling me! Do you see this?” Gintoki was pointing to his phone that was unplugged and had the cord wrapped around it. “It started ringing off the hook once that newspaper came out and I've had to carry around your cellphone! Did you hear that? Your _cellphone_! Do you even know how many times I've already lost the fucker?” Gintoki took a breath to keep going, but his expression changed and he patted himself down. He looked on the desk and at the base of the sofas, then he let out a soft shout. “I don't even know where the damn thing is right _now_!”

Hijikata raised a hand to his mouth and openly snickered into it because, really, how could he _not_ find this funny? Gintoki glared at him and seeing the bags under Gintoki's eyes chased away all the humor from the situation. Now that he was waking up and things weren't spinning as much, he could see that Gintoki looked like shit – absolute exhausted _been up for way too long_ shit.

“Where're your brats?”

“Kagura cleared out to stay with Shinpachi and Otae and took Sadaharu with her. She said it was because she had better things to do than hang out with two old men, but I think that was just her way of saying she didn't want to disturb you.”

Hijikata shifted to alleviate the pain coming from his back and asked, “Were those men identified?”

“Three of them were arrested and a few minutes with Okita-kun got them talking. They were each interrogated separately and all their stories were the same.”

“Who were they? Do we have any leads on the rest of them that attacked us?”

“You're such a cop,” Gintoki said with a chuckle. “They're a small gang that specializes in meeting the wants and needs of Amanto. One of them had seen us go into Wan's and they'd decided a winged person would sell well to one of their Amanto buyers. They'd planned on taking into an underground auction to see how well we'd sell and if the profit was high, they were going to come back for whichever one of us they hadn't nabbed before. Their motives were strictly selfish and they don't know anything about who we are or why we have wings.”

Hijikata's head was hurting, but his back and wing were in some seventh circle of hell. He listened to everything Gintoki said and he was hurting enough that he couldn't even be angry about it. He'd broken his wing and all that had happened for _nothing_. Just some asshole pieces of shit looking to make a quick yen on a gamble that a person with wings would sell well. Plus, they'd been put in the paper and Hijikata had no doubts that the reason Gintoki's phone had been ringing off the hook was because of how many people had recognized him. He was the _Yorozuya_! How many people had Gintoki helped or worked for over the years?

“You okay?” Gintoki asked, but he didn't come any closer. “You're kinda swaying a bit.”

“Yeah, it's just,” some pain, “a lot to take in.”

Gintoki raised a brow, clearly not wholly believing it, but that didn't matter because there was some noise from the front door.

“You're awake!” Wan declared gleefully.

“Tosshi!” Kondo yelled, delighted.

“You look good!” Wan went on. “So much better than before!”

They swarmed on him, especially Wan, who immediately started spewing out a bunch of questions, and when Hijikata glanced up to share a look with Gintoki, he found himself staring at empty space. He carried on conversation and answered questions, but every chance he got, he was looking to see where Gintoki had disappeared to. Of course Gintoki didn't need to stay around if he didn't want to, but Hijikata was still left wondering why he took off completely – he wasn't even in the room anymore and it seemed strange that he'd just up and between his ears.

He seemed... distant and not just in a physical sense. There was something off here, Hijikata could feel it just as starkly as he felt the twin throbs in his wing and head.

Wan gave him a thorough checkup and Kondo oversaw the whole thing to see how he was doing. He passed everything and Wan said he was recovering well, which was a relief. Wan spent a long time on his wing and Hijikata wasn't sure exactly what he was doing, but not all of it felt good. He took the sling off and examined Hijikata's wing to see how it was healing. It hurt terribly, more so now that Wan was moving it around and testing it, and it made Hijikata feel sick, but Wan said it was looking good.

Wan talked a lot, but there were times that it seemed like there was something he wanted to say and didn't. He'd pause strangely and glance around, but then he'd just keep talking about Hijikata. Kondo, on the other hand, just seemed happy that he was okay and mending. Being able to talk to Kondo was therapeutic and normal. Hijikata got the full scoop of what was going on with the Shinsengumi and Kondo promised he'd have the reports about the gang and the investigation rushed over first thing in the morning.

They stayed for a long time and when Gintoki was in there with them, which wasn't often, he kept his distance. Hijikata didn't like it and he wanted to understand. He looked at the distance between them like a personal slight... not that he really had any reason or right to feel that way.

The least comfortable part of the visit was when Wan put the sling back on. Two planks of thin wood were fixed along the ridge of his wing to force it to keep a bowed shape and the three pieces of cloth were practically strapped to him to keep his wing taut to allow the bone to heal. Wan explained to him that it'd been a clean break of his radius and a lot of information was dumped on him, but his body was hurting enough that he decided he'd revisit all this later when he could focus and comprehend properly.

Gintoki reappeared when Kondo and Wan were on their way out and the three of them talked as Gintoki walked them to the door. Hijikata had been left on the sofa with a cup of fresh water and he had his injured wing resting on the back of the sofa. That way, he didn't have to hold it up and Wan said that keeping it elevated was good for him and encouraged quicker healing. He drank his water and closed his eyes against any discomfort. Wan said he should stay awake as long as he could and at the moment, it didn't feel like he'd last long at all. His eyes were already threatening to droop, but he forced them to reopen when he heard Gintoki come back in.

“Did they break the news to you?”

“What news?” Hijikata asked hesitantly.

Gintoki came over and clasped a meaningful hand gently on his shoulder. “I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but... you may never fly again.”

Hijikata scoffed and rolled his eyes. “That was lame, even for you.”

“Couldn't resist,” Gintoki replied and backed off to lean against his desk like before. “Hungry yet?”

“Close to starving, now that you mention it.”

“I'll see what leftovers we have. Is there anything you're in the mood for?”

Hijikata paused before answering and his stomach rumbled. No, he wasn't feeling his best and a large portion of his body _hurt_ , but his appetite had come back in full force. It'd been a faint rumbled around the time Wan and Kondo had arrived, but now it was insistent enough that it was like a whole new pain. He needed to stay awake for awhile and a quick meal would only put his to sleep faster, so....

“Wait, it's just us?”

“Unless you're seeing someone I'm not, then, yeah.”

“I'm in the mood for you to cook something.”

Gintoki's brows rose. “Not sure if there's anything worth cooking with, but I'll check. You sure you wanna do that tonight? It'll be a bit before I'll be able to have anything ready.”

“I can wait.”

They watched each other and Hijikata could tell Gintoki was gauging whether or not he thought Hijikata was up for it. He probably knew more about what Hijikata was going through than he was letting on and that was a comfort in its own way. Once again, Gintoki proved himself to be different than any other relationship Hijikata had and that admittance seemed to carry more weight to it each time it reoccured.

“Alright,” Gintoki agreed and Hijikata sighed in relief. “I'll go see what we've got.”

Gintoki headed for the kitchen and that was when Hijikata saw what Wan had probably wanted to mention to him. More of Gintoki's feathers had fallen out and there was more than one spot along his wings that if he lost anymore feathers, there'd be none left in those areas at all. He really needed to talk to Gintoki about this and he needed to do it _soon._

**To Be Continued**

 


	31. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much wounded Hijikata with a winged nurse to look after him. Pure fluff. A dash of angst. A foreshadowing title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aga, I cannot thank you enough or send you enough love. Truly. I mean that with all my heart. You make this experience so much more for me and I cherish you so much!

“I'm coming with you.”

Gintoki turned back, his brow furrowing. “You wanna watch me cook?”

“It'll be better than staring at the furniture,” Hijikata retorted and awkwardly got his feet under him. Gintoki made a vague motion with his hand and Hijikata made a more pointed motion right back. “Go, I'll be right there.”

Anyone else probably would have hovered over him – minus Sougo – but Gintoki merely accepted that Hijikata didn't want help and he gave him space. Someone else might feel like Gintoki didn't care, but Hijikata _knew better_ – he knew that Gintoki allowing him the space he wanted was a form of respect. It didn't damage his pride and instead bolstered him, which was what he needed now that he was down again.

“I'm giving you five minutes before I come looking for your collapsed corpse.”

Hijikata flipped him off and caught the edge of a smile before Gintoki disappeared down the hall. It _did_ take Hijikata awhile to follow and he wasn't proud of that, but it took him less than five minutes, so that was something. He sat behind the table so he was facing Gintoki and he took a deep breath to collect himself again. He was slightly out of breath from the venture and that was ridiculous. His back and wing hurt, but so far, the pain was manageable, if inconvenient. For him, the injury wasn't too bad if he could still work up an appetite.

“Find anything?”

“Enough to make something that might be passable.”

“You're moving around like you do this all the time.”

“I make simple stuff for the kids sometimes when I have to, like when Kagura can't sleep and she's hungry in the middle of the night, but I don't cook full meals like this.”

As he moved, Hijikata watched a couple feathers fall and there were several more of them around the room on the floor. Hijikata's wing was _broken_ and his body was under stress because of that, but he wasn't losing nearly as many feathers as Gintoki was.

“Have your wings been twitching?”

“Not once,” Hijikata answered and gave his injured wing a glance. “I thought one of them might when Wan was resetting this one.”

“You were listening to everything he said about it, right?”

“Mostly. He threw a lot at me and I got most of it, but I was in and out for some of it.”

Gintoki glanced back at him. “Because your wing hurt?”

“Not exactly....” Hijikata thought for a way to explain it and shrugged with his hand. “It was hard to concentrate. Ever since I woke up, I haven't felt like I've woken up.”

Gintoki's head bobbed and Hijikata really did get the feeling that Gintoki understood. He didn't need to explain anymore, so he sat quietly in front of the air conditioner, which was a blessing. All afternoon, he'd felt too warm, like the fever was still on him, and the air conditioner was so relieving. He finally felt like he was cooling off and it helped to clear his head.

“Here,” Gintoki said and placed a large bowl of water in front of Hijikata. “In case you wanna wash up a bit.”

“You saying I need to?” Hijikata asked with mock offense.

“Yeah.”

Gintoki's smirk betrayed him and Hijikata gratefully pulled the bowl closer to him. His fever had covered him in sweat and his clothes were disgusting, but there was too much risk in changing out of them. They could cut his yukata off and they might have to do that at some point, but the goal was to get his wing taken care of enough that he'd be able to change yukatas, with some help, without having to destroy one. He didn't know what he'd wear if he couldn't use a yukata, actually. If he couldn't take it off, then he wouldn't be able to put one on, so... what then? Surely he couldn't walk around in just his uniform pants or maybe he'd have to ask Gintoki for a spare of his black pants. Neither option was terrible, the real issue was walking around with no top on and if it came to that, he couldn't see a way around it.

“Oi, I don't have a –”

A fresh washcloth was thrown into Hijikata's face before he could finish his sentence. It went from his face straight into the bowl and he barked out a laugh at the sound of Gintoki's trumpet of triumph. Gintoki tossed over a towel next, but Hijikata caught that one and glared at him for good measure.

Gintoki went back to cooking and Hijikata washed his face and neck in the lukewarm water. It felt so good to wash all the residual salt from his skin and he felt so much better afterward. Not only cleaner, but less disgusting and though those may sound like the same thing, they were different in Hijikata's mind. His back was starting to really ache from sitting up and having the weight of his wings pulling at him, but stuff like that didn't matter when he was _refreshed_.

“All done?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Hijikata replied and brushed his damp hair back with a hand.

He hadn't washed his hair, but he'd washed enough of his face that he'd gotten all the hair around his face wet. It was the next best thing to a full shower or bath and he was almost sad to see Gintoki take the bowl away from him.

“Smells good.”

Gintoki moved a pan around on the stove and went to chop something, replying, “Let's hope it tastes good, too.”

“It better not be something simple like omurice.”

“Oi! Leave omurice alone! What'd it ever do to you?”

“Nothing! I can just see you doing all this build up and then putting something like that in front of me!”

“If I did, it'd be the best omurice of your life!”

“Is that seriously what you're cooking?”

“You'll just have to wait and find out!”

Hijikata smiled to himself and tapped a hand on the table. “Well, hurry up, I'm starving over here.”

“Just for that, I'm gonna make you wait longer.”

“But I'm _injured_!”

Hijikata waited for a return jibe, but one never came. Gintoki kept cooking, not responding, and Hijikata's smile slid from his face. He decided Gintoki must be concentrating on cooking... he'd said he didn't do it often, so it made sense that holding a conversation and cooking might overtax him. It was a lame excuse and he knew it, but it made him feel less aware of the sudden silence.

“You can start with this,” Gintoki said a few minutes later and he put a bowl on the table, this one smaller than the previous one.

“And this is?”

“Spicy tuna bowl with pickled radish, enoki, cucumber, nira, and all that was left of the umeboshi.”

All of that was on a bed of freshly made white rice and Hijikata's mouth watered. He was handed some chopsticks and then a cup of water was placed alongside a bottle of mayonnaise in front of him.

“Looks good... how much longer 'til you're done?”

“Go ahead and get started. I've still got some stuff to finish and you don't want that to get cold.”

Hijikata clapped his hands together and muttered a quick, “Itadakimasu!”

He wanted to wait for Gintoki, of course he did, but he was so hungry and this truly looked so _good._ His stomach was rumbled hard enough to hurt and he shoveled the first bite of food into his mouth in a way that was more akin to Kagura than anything else.

“You _can_ cook,” Hijikata marveled, mouth still full.

“You should wait until you try the rest of it before you say that.”

“This is good.”

“Rice and tuna isn't difficult to put in a bowl.”

Hijikata rolled his eyes and if Gintoki were near enough, he'd give him a smack on the back of the head. Since he couldn't, he grabbed the mayonnaise and added it to the dish to give him his fix. He'd never timed himself eating a bowl this size before, but if had, he was sure he'd just set a new record with how fast he inhaled this. There was a strong smell of oil in the room, but it was a good smell that made Hijikata's stomach keep gurgling. He was aware of Gintoki making noise and going about his cooking thing, but he was so focused on the food that he didn't really watch any of it.

“You have to eat this while it's hot, too.” A plate was put in the center of the table and a smaller empty one was placed near Hijikata. “And you have rice on your face.”

“How am I supposed to care about rice on my face when there's okonomiyaki in front of me?”

“Never asked you to care about it, I was just letting you know it's there.” Gintoki touched Hijikata's cheek and came away with a single grain of rice between his fingers. “What would your faction think if they saw you like this, hm?”

He waved it at Hijikata like that proved something and then retreated back to the stove where something was crackling and boiling. Hijikata absently rubbed his cheek with his own hand and then turned his attention to the okonomiyaki that was visibly steaming.

Using his chopsticks, he cut it in half and slid his chosen portion onto his empty plate. It had yakisoba noodles and fried egg on top with a freshly made sauce and pickled ginger. Hijikata hadn't had something like this in a long time, maybe not even before the Shinsengumi came to Edo, and there was something pleasantly reminiscent about it.

He took a bite and his eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head.

“Holy shit....”

Hijikata scrambled to snatch his mayonnaise and after putting a thick layer on top, he took another bite and his lids fluttered closed. They didn't make this at the barracks and it wasn't often Hijikata ever saw it on a menu when he and Kondo went out to eat. He'd forgotten about this and he was being reminded in the best kind of way.

“And last, but not least,” Gintoki announced, “I bring you tonkatsu.”

Freshly deep fried pork cutlets next to tomato and shaved miso cabbage stared Hijikata in the face and his stomach growled its approval. He'd already eaten so much, more than normal, and he was _still_ hungry. He might have said thanks, he couldn't remember, and he squirted a healthy dollop of mayonnaise onto his plate to dip the pork in. He didn't bother moving any pork onto his plate, he ate it right off the one Gintoki had placed there for them. He ate one of the pork slices and it felt like it melted on his tongue, it was so tender – he definitely made an appreciative sound that time.

The only thing that stopped him from going for a second slice was that the space across from him was still empty. Gintoki hadn't joined him yet, he was over at the counter cleaning up, and Hijikata frowned.

There was that distance again, the same distance he'd felt before when Wan and Kondo had been there. It was like something had shifted without Hijikata knowing and in its place came uncertainty he wasn't used to. He couldn't think of anything he'd done to put this distance there and maybe he was reading too much into it... but his gut was telling him something unnameable was off.

“You gonna sit with me or what?”

“I'll be over in a minute.”

His response sounded normal, but like before, his wings gave him away. They drew in too close to his body and went too rigid, it was like he was cringing, but only with his wings. He didn't lie, though, and once he finished taking care of the hot oil, he came over with his plate, drink, and chopsticks. He sat down and served himself some of both dishes... it wasn't lost on Hijikata that he hadn't made himself a spicy tuna bowl.

“You're being weird.”

Gintoki ate a slice of pork and shrugged, saying, “I get told that sometimes.”

“Don't do that, it won't work. What's with the weirdness?”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

It took a lot for Hijikata to take a deep breath and not say the first thing that came to mind. Gintoki had been inconsistently weird ever since Hijikata had woken up, that much he was sure of, so then what....

Panic gripped him and he had to steady himself with a hand on the kotatsu to ward off the pain of his wing reacting to his feelings.

“Did I say something while I was out of it?”

Gintoki's head tilted. “You mumbled sometimes.”

“About what?”

“I don't know!”

“You couldn't tell what I was mumbling?”

“No, I – not really?”

“What does that mean?” Hijikata demanded, his voice still rising and his hold on the table tightening.

“I don't know what you want me to tell you! You broke your wing and you were passed out for almost a whole _day_! Sometimes you'd mumble about who knows what and one time I think you said mayo, but I'm not really sure!”

“That's it? That's the only thing I said?”

Gintoki's wings were bunched behind him in a fluffed up mass and it betrayed how flustered he was. It appeared genuine, it didn't seem like Gintoki was lying or trying to cover anything up. The poor bastard looked so confused and it steadied Hijikata's racing heart.

“I think so! Why're you freaking out? A little mumbling was nothing! It's not like you shit yourself or anything!”

The fear that Hijikata had said something he shouldn't have eased out of him and he released a pent up breath. Gintoki remained tensed and Hijikata felt a stab of guilt at the amount of white feathers that had fallen free during their exchange. He didn't know what he could have said that might make Gintoki weird toward him, but the idea that he could have said _something_ was unsettling and nerve wracking. Thanks to him, the atmosphere had effectively turned stale, tense, and awkward, and that was the last thing he'd wanted.

Hijikata cleared his throat and drank some water to give him time to think of something to say. Gintoki had stopped eating and he wasn't looking at Hijikata and neither of those were good things. The ache in Hijikata's back got worse and the feeling that he'd royally fucked up was nearly overpowering.

“Why do I remember water?”

Gintoki peered at him from the corner of his eye like he was gauging him.

“You had a fever and you were sweating a lot.”

“Oh... good.” Gintoki's face pinched and Hijikata shrugged. “Better than finding out Wan had bathed me or something.”

Gintoki's eyes widened in horror and then he snorted, shaking his head.

“I'm with you, I'd take fever over that alternative any day.”

Hijikata drank some more water and started eating again, hoping Gintoki would do the same. He had to hold in a sigh when Gintoki picked at some of the okonomiyaki and ate a decent bite of it.

“Did I get sick?”

“Mm... vomit... my favorite discussion while I'm eating,” Gintoki said with a hum. “No, you didn't. It was just a fever, not the flu.”

“That's a relief.”

“Quit worrying,” Gintoki chastised, “all you did was sleep. You drooled sometimes, but if you're gonna get worked up about that, then I'll just call you a dumbass because _everybody_ drools. I've never seen anyone drool as much as Kagura, either. You can even ask Shinpachi, that girl drools like a fountain all over her pillow at night. Our theory is that she dreams of food and it makes her salivate.”

Hijikata swallowed the cabbage he'd been chewing and he briefly covered his mouth with his hand so Gintoki wouldn't see any left over food in his mouth when he laughed.

“I would expect nothing less! Do you think that's a Yato thing?”

“Could be! The theory is ongoing because most of the time, when we ask, she doesn't remember what she'd been dreaming about.”

They ate and idly talked, but Hijikata noticed he'd made a mistake. He'd eaten too much while Gintoki had been cooking, so he finished before Gintoki did, which made it easy for him to not eat much, then say he was full. Hijikata had been watching and Gintoki had only eaten a few slices of pork and maybe half of what was left of the okonomiyaki. Hijikata wasn't even given the chance to say anything because once Hijikata finished, Gintoki was clearing the kotatsu and taking everything over to the sink.

“You want anything more to drink?”

“Some sake wouldn't be the worst thing right now.”

Gintoki kept rinsing off the plates. “You're just saying that because you know you can't have it.”

“You're probably right, but it'd take the edge off, too.”

“Is your wing starting to bother you?”

“It's still manageable, but yeah, it's not feeling so great.”

“You should go back to the sofas and get the weight off it,” Gintoki said and dried his hands.

He came over to Hijikata and held out both hands for Hijikata to take. Once Hijikata grabbed them, he was hoisted up and the extra leverage made it easier to lift him up. He stepped into Gintoki's space, close enough that their chests were almost brushing, and it brought him back to a few nights ago by the door. Except, it felt different this time... it didn't feel as welcome.

Tilting his head back and looking at Gintoki confirmed it.

Hijikata got the same gut feeling as before, but he didn't move and like earlier, Gintoki didn't ask him to or take a step away. It felt heavy in the room and Hijikata winced as a more acute sense of pain settled over him. Gintoki released his hands and got them moving out toward the living room in the same way he'd helped Hijikata to the bathroom earlier. Walking was much more uncomfortable than it had been and he glanced at his wing to make sure the splint hadn't slid to the wrong spot on accident. It looked fine, but it wasn't like he could really tell for sure.

Hijikata got on the sofas when they reached them and it was a relief to prop his wing up on the back of the seat. He quickly became tangled in the blankets like before and with all the movement, a bunch of tiny feathers that had already been on the sofas got disrupted and took to the air to flutter harmlessly around.

“You need anything?” Gintoki asked and Hijikata didn't want him to leave, so he tried to think of something, but his brain just wasn't working with him.

“Not... I don't know. No?”

To his surprise, Gintoki sank down to the floor in front of him and to all appearance, was settling in. Soon, Gintoki had his arms crossed over the sofa seat and he was leaning his head on them with his legs folded sideways beneath him. His wings had enough room to spread out partially around the two sofas and if Hijikata wanted to, he could reach out and touch either one of Gintoki's wings.

It was a truly shocking gesture – Hijikata had fully prepared himself for more distance.

“You sure that's comfortable?”

“Yeah, it's fine.”

“You don't have to stay out here if you want to sleep on your futon.”

“I'm good.”

Hijikata knew when to drop something, but he still flopped around until he could extract a majority of one of the blankets. Somewhat clumsily, he tossed it over Gintoki and they both snorted when it ended up covering most of Gintoki's head and face. Feathers that had been trapped in the blanket were set free and they fluttered silently to the floor.

“Thanks,” Gintoki said and tugged the blanket around until it was situated over his left wing to cover his back. It didn't fit very well and Gintoki gave up trying to get it to sit better out of frustration soon thereafter. His wing lifted the blanket so it looked like a tent and he had to put it slightly over his head just to get the blanket to cover at least enough of his back to keep him warm. “We really need to figure out how to get rid of these.”

Gintoki didn't have to elaborate for Hijikata to know what he was talking about.

“We really do,” Hijikata agreed.

The wings needed to go, that much was certain, but for the first time, he actually took a second to consider where he was because of them. Without the wing fiasco, he and Gintoki wouldn't be like this. Hijikata couldn't imagine going back to the way things were before between them and he didn't want to go back to that, so he had to acknowledge that they wouldn't be here like this if it weren't for the wings.

Did that make all the twitching and jerking worth it?

Hijikata watched Gintoki shoo a feather out of his face only to have it flutter in the air right back toward his nose and thought that yeah, maybe it was.

Suddenly, as unexpected as it always was, Hijikata's wing spasmed and, predictably, his injured wing throbbed painfully at being jerked. It wasn't normal pain, either, it was a burst of severe agony that torched him from the inside. He cussed up a storm the moment it happened and a coldness swept through him, one that left behind a sheen of sweat on every part of him.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he snarled and rode out the pain with his eyes and jaws clamped shut.

When the pain ebbed enough, Hijikata became aware of a sensation on his back. He opened his eyes and saw that Gintoki had moved and was now nestled in on the sofa so he was at Hijikata's side. He was doing something to Hijikata's back and whatever it was, it was the best thing for him in that moment. Gintoki's fingers seemed to chase the pain away more than anything else and Hijikata let his head drop once the worst of it had passed. It still hurt like fucking hell, but there was pain and then there was _pain_ – he'd moved back into the pain category.

“I'm gonna check your wing now, so don't freak out when I touch it.”

Hijikata grunted his consent and held still, waiting. He didn't know he was shaking slightly until Gintoki's fingers touched his feathers and he found his wing wasn't actually as still as he thought it was. Gintoki's hand was a pressure that was barely there and his other hand remained on Hijikata's back like it was holding him down. Fingers ran along his feathers, checking to see if the wood pieces of the splint were alright, and Hijikata's breaths came out in uncomfortable pants.

“Do you want some of the stuff Wan left for you?”

“Stuff?”

“Yeah, those meds he suggested if the pain got too bad.”

“Meds....” Hijikata wracked his addled brain and he could vaguely recall Wan mentioning something about different kinds of meds, but he couldn't _remember_. Not that it mattered, he already had his answer regardless. “No, I wanna keep a clear head.”

Which was ironic because his head was currently completely muddled.

“Normally I'd say suit yourself, but I'm gonna have to disagree with you this time.”

Hijikata's grip tightened on the blanket and he shook his head. “Don't c-care, I don't want anything.”

“You know what Wan said.” Gintoki pressed against one of the knots in Hijikata's back and tried to knead it out. “Or maybe you don't because if you knew, you wouldn't be acting like such a moron!”

“It'll go away,” Hijikata argued.

Gintoki raised himself on his knees so he was looming higher over Hijikata and he spread his wings out for balance. His hands, still pressing against Hijikata's back, were both firm and gentle as well as what Hijikata could only think of as skittish. Those hands went from one area of his back to another, to his injured wing, to his spine, and his fingers never fully lifted. He skimmed his fingertips from spot to spot so he never actually stopped touching at any time and the movements were sporadic, like he didn't know the best place for his hands to be so he just tried to be everywhere at once.

“You could re-break your wing if you can't stay relaxed,” Gintoki reasoned, “and I've gotta be honest, you feel like it's about to happen again.”

There was no disagreeing with that, Hijikata was so tense that he couldn't even get himself to loosen his hold on the blanket. It hurt so much, Hijikata could hardly fathom the pain, and he had a constant mantra of _relax, relax, relax, relax_ going through his head. That was the simplest command he could give himself, but it wasn't having any effect on him no matter how many times he repeated it to himself.

“It'll get better,” Hijikata said through gritted teeth.

Gintoki's hands worked him over as best he could, but the pain in Hijikata's wing was too prevalent and he couldn't concentrate. It was frustrating because he'd been _fine_ before his wing had twitched and now it was like his body didn't belong to him anymore. His injured wing trembled, widening to put pressure against the splint, and Hijikata had to bite back a sharp groan of pain. Gintoki stretched his wing out and used it to stop Hijikata's wing from widening any further by applying the gentlest pressure against it. Hijikata's eyes opened wide and he stared blindly at the sofa as webs of pain went through him in waves, one after another.

“O-okay,” Hijikata grit out, “but I only wanna start with half.”

Gintoki was gone and back in what seemed like no time at all. He held out a glass of water and he had a small half-moon shaped pill resting in his palm. The pill had clearly been broken perfectly in half and Hijikata, feeling his muscles cramping, quickly swallowed it down. It all felt so rushed and he didn't remember seeing Gintoki go back around the sofa to get on it and sit with him, but he knew he was there when he felt hands on him again.

Between the painkiller or muscle relaxant or whatever it was and Gintoki's hands, Hijikata began to sink. It was slow at first and his mantra kept cycling through his head, but then all at once, everything seemed to stop. His body felt heavy, his thoughts drifted, and there was a sweet relief when the pain swirled away. He wasn't asleep, he knew that, but he didn't feel awake, either.

Then, it didn't matter anymore and Hijikata got swept away.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata woke to the faint sound of the air conditioner whirring and the soft breathing of another person. He didn't remember falling asleep and the lack of light outlining the window told him that it was still dark out. Gintoki was back to where he'd been just before Hijikata's wing had twitched and he was asleep, but it wasn't a deep sleep. Hijikata had seen what Gintoki looked like when he was passed out and strange as it was, Hijikata even knew what it sounded like. Gintoki took deeper breaths when he was truly asleep and he sometimes made noises that were like muted snores.

At the moment, Gintoki was just breathing quietly, each breath too short to be considered at ease. Hijikata watched him for a bit and remained completely still even though his wing was telling him that he should move. He didn't know what he was watching for, it was clear Gintoki was asleep and not going anywhere. The blanket was once more draped awkwardly over Gintoki's back and one arm was folded beneath his head, but the other one was stretched out a little closer to Hijikata.

There was no way Gintoki was comfortable.

It was a given that Gintoki had slept in worse conditions before, that much was certain, but there was still no conceivable way that Gintoki was comfortable crumpled up on the floor leaning up against two sofas with the weight of his large wings pulling at his back. Looming on top of that was the knowledge that Hijikata was okay, if a bit battered, and would be making a full recovery soon. Yet, Gintoki hadn't moved and Hijikata didn't know what that meant.

Hijikata wasn't under any illusion, he knew Gintoki would do the same for others, but Hijikata was thrown into a bout of deja vu. Had he woken to find Kondo sleeping there, guilt and maybe even a touch of shame would have riddled him for keeping Kondo from his job. If it were Sougo, he'd panic trying to figure out what the sadist had done to him before falling asleep. If it were any of his subordinates, it'd be odd and he'd just want them to get back to their duties.

With Gintoki, it was different.

Waking up like this and finding Gintoki there didn't make Hijikata feel bad or guilty. On the contrary, Hijikata was glad to see him. Maybe that was selfish of him and maybe, for once, he didn't care. Or maybe whatever Gintoki had given him was still working because he felt too _good_ when he knew he shouldn't.

Sliding his hand the short distance between them, Hijikata touched the tips of his pointer and middle fingers gently against Gintoki's pinky. The finger twitched as Gintoki made a small sound and blinked his eyes open, his red rises outlined by small red lines. Gintoki had looked tired before, he obviously hadn't been sleeping well recently, and he almost looked worse now because the redness around his eyes was easier to see even in the dark. He hadn't been in a deep sleep just now, like Hijikata had thought, but it still took Gintoki an extra moment to lift his head and rest his chin on his arm.

“Hey,” Gintoki greeted, his voice gravely, and he yawned. “How're you feeling?”

“Still alive and feeling like mush.” He watched Gintoki and his mouth curved at one corner. “You've got a black feather on your head.”

“That probably happens more often than it should,” Gintoki scoffed and made no move to dislodge his silent passenger. “Did you need something?”

Hijikata paused – why _had_ he woken Gintoki up?

“I... guess not.” He thought about it and his brain, which definitely wasn't working like it normally would or should, supplied nothing for him. “No.”

Gintoki yawned again and snuggled his cheek against his arm briefly. The feather on top of his head fluttered slightly with the movement and Hijikata wasn't at all tempted to brush it away for him.

“I've got some water next to me if you get thirsty.”

“Any mayonnaise?”

“Dumbass, there's still that bottle under your pillow.”

With his left hand, Hijikata searched below his head and his fingers wrapped around a familiar shape. Hijikata brought it out and squinted at it, making sure that it was legitimate. He knew a real mayonnaise bottle when he saw one and everything was right about it from the way it looked to the way it felt.

“How did this get here?”

Both of Gintoki's brows raised. “You don't remember?”

“Oh, no... when you ask it like that, do I wanna remember?”

“It wasn't a big deal,” Gintoki told him and he sounded way too amused. “You're the one that put it there after you forced me to get it for you.”

“Forced you? How'd I manage to force you to do _anything_?”

“As if I'm about to tell you!”

“I really don't remember anything! What happened?” A sadistic glint lit Gintoki's eyes and Hijikata snapped, “The truth! None of your bullshit!”

Gintoki let out a long and amused breath through his nose. “Nothing happened, you just got a bit loopy once the med kicked in. You babbled about good food and being full, then you wanted the mayo bottle you'd left on the kotatsu. Once I gave it to you, you hid it under your pillow and fell asleep.”

Hijikata's frenzied heart eased.

“That doesn't explain how I forced you to get it.”

“That's something I won't be explaining. The only think I'll tell you is that you can get really creative when you want your mayo.”

That didn't make Hijikata feel any better about it, but his head was too out of sorts to piece things together properly. He put the bottle back under his pillow and his whole body felt sluggish and twice its usual weight. He could move just fine, his body did what he told it to do, but it still felt weird, like his muscles were asleep while his skin was awake.

“I need to stretch,” Gintoki said and winced as he lifted his head. “Been sitting like this too long.”

“Wait.”

Gintoki stopped and Hijikata reached a hand forward. His control over his limbs was laughably rocky and he snorted at himself. He'd only meant to pluck the black feather off and instead, he bopped Gintoki on top of his head and dug his fingers into silver hair. He garbled an apology as Gintoki lowered his head and, with some fumbling, Hijikata removed the desired feather from its permy prison without taking any hair with him.

“Got it,” he announced and held it up.

“My hero, but uh... could you...” Gintoki trailed and tilted his head toward the blanket that was half-draped over him. “I'm a little stuck.”

“At least it's not your shirt this time,” Hijikata replied and used his free hand to start gathering the blanket to him.

He set the feather on the other side of the sofa bed and at some point it was really going to sink in just how nest-like this area looked. For the time, he didn't care and put both hands into collecting the blanket. Gintoki helped him and once his wings were free, he was spreading them out. Hijikata nestled his head on the blanket now wadded up in front of him and he openly watched, kind of transfixed.

Gintoki put both hands on the front of the sofas and he arched his back, lowering his head so his forehead was brushing the sofa, while his wings went out as wide as they could go in the space. Hijikata had a front row seat to the display, so all he could see was white and the scope of the wings cast a darker shadow over him. Like this, it was easier to see where the feathers were thinning and with Gintoki's head down, he didn't see the way Hijikata grimaced. There were a few cracking sounds, a couple loud pops, and Gintoki let out a low moan toward the floor.

“I knew you couldn't be comfortable like that,” Hijikata scorned and Gintoki's head rose back up.

“It isn't uncomfortable.” He was lying, Hijikata was sure of it. “These things are just so damn heavy.”

Okay, so the second part wasn't a lie, but the first part definitely was. Hijikata narrowed his eyes at him and Gintoki ignored him in favor of opening his wings out behind him. He pushed them back until they hit the desk and he rolled his shoulders, causing more audible cracks. He didn't moan again, but he grunted and Hijikata watched and listened with all the focus he could muster, which admittedly wasn't much.

“You sure you're doing okay?”

“Great.” Hijikata waited for Gintoki to look at him before adding drily, “Never been better.”

Gintoki chortled, his eyes crinkling slightly at the corners, and he shook his head.

“Yeah, and mayo bottles fly.”

“Give me any more meds and they might just start to do that.”

“Do you want some more, then?”

Hijikata shook his head with a breathy laugh. “No, that's okay. Mayonnaise is the best, but I'm already kinda dizzy, I don't need it flying around where I might be able to reach it.”

“It'd be a hallucination, you wouldn't need to reach it.”

“Doesn't mean I wouldn't try anyway.”

“I think I'd be insulted if a mayo bottle flew before I did, even as a hallucination.”

Hijikata laughed and in that moment, it struck him – he'd just wanted to talk to him, that was why he'd woken Gintoki up.

Gintoki got up and went around the side to inspect Hijikata's wing with those same gentle fingers. His touch was so light, Hijikata barely felt it, and so he didn't react when he felt it. Some of the pain had returned to him, but it wasn't like it had been before and he didn't feel there was much threat of a bad pull.

“You don't look twitchy,” Gintoki commented.

“I feel boneless.”

Gintoki followed his wing down to the base and to Hijikata's surprise, he didn't stop there. He kept going until his fingers found the slit in Hijikata's yukata and he slipped his fingers underneath to touch his skin directly. Hijikata shuddered involuntarily and Gintoki spread his fingers out, feeling the space between Hijikata's wings. He was feeling for any tensing, any indication that his muscles were going to seize and put pressure on the nerves there that were supposedly the culprit for Hijikata's jerking, and his hand was very warm.

Gintoki was being so careful and so attentive and Hijikata was the only one that could understand why. He'd sprained his wing and he'd hidden how much that had hurt. Breaking his wing had caused Hijikata to pass out and he could imagine the kind of pain a sprain, no matter how simple, would have caused. Gintoki's sprain hadn't been a simple one, either, and yet the bastard had managed to make it seem like it was so much _less_ than what it actually had been.

How'd he hide it so well?

 _Practice_ – the answer came immediately.

Why had he felt like he _had_ to hide it?

Hijikata's face scrunched and he wanted to ask, but now would _not_ be the time to say anything.

“Do you need to pee? You made a scary face again.”

“No, but I think maybe it's starting to wear off....”

He glanced nervously at his wing and it wasn't the pain he was worried about, it was the damage he could do. He could re-break it or break it in a different spot or sprain it like Gintoki had. He didn't want to prolong this situation where he was so confined and unable to get up and do what he wanted. It wasn't like he could go too many places because of the wings and all, but just to get up and walk around the apartment would be better than this.

“Do you want the other half of the tablet?”

Hijikata frowned. “No, I don't wanna get knocked out like that again.”

“Okay, let's try this.”

Gintoki left him and Hijikata's entire body was aware of the loss – lamented it, even. He watched as Gintoki took the cup of water he'd said he had and went to the desk where a couple vials were sitting. Hijikata didn't remember them ever being there, but he was so groggy a majority of the time that he couldn't really fault himself for not being as perceptive as usual. Gintoki's body and wings were in the way, so Hijikata couldn't see what he was doing, but when he turned back, he had just the cup in his hand.

“Give it a little more time to dissolve.”

Hijikata took the cup and peered into it. “You crushed it up?”

“Yeah, but not a whole tab. I used that other half and this way, you can drink as little or as much as you want.”

That was both a good idea and something not everyone would have thought of so quickly. Hijikata swirled the water to help the crushed particles dissolve quicker and he knew that Gintoki did it this way because this is the way he himself would have wanted it were their situations reversed. Hijikata briefly considered how it might be if the their situations _were_ reversed and he seriously wondered how Gintoki would play off a broken wing. In a way, it was a good thing events had turned out the way they had, otherwise, Hijikata would probably have his hands full trying to convince a natural perm that he wasn't fine.

Hijikata didn't like that he needed to take some muscle relaxers or pain killers, whatever the med was exactly, but he was practical enough to know that it was going to help him in the long run. Gintoki could be practical sometimes, but Hijikata had no faith that Gintoki applied any of that practicality to his own wellbeing. It was also worth mentioning that with Gintoki there, Hijikata was more willing to take medication. The guy physically jumped off a balcony and crushed the entire front of a car for him, so there was little doubt in Hijikata's mind that Gintoki wouldn't let anything bad happen to him while he was medicated.

“You're... making one of those faces again....”

“I don't have to pee,” Hijikata assured him and raised the cup to take in a mouthful.

Gintoki had lowered himself and he waited with Hijikata as he took sips and let the meds kick in. He drank maybe half of what was in the cup before deeming himself taken care of. Gintoki took the cup when it was offered and he set it aside for him so he wouldn't drop it.

“Damn, this stuff works fast,” Hijikata pretty much slurred.

“That's a good thing.” Hijikata grunted and his head sagged to the left. “Let me know if those mayo bottles start flying after all.”

“If you see me reaching out into thin air, I think you'll be able to figure out what's going on.”

Gintoki laughed and shook his head. “Is it bad I'm kinda hoping that happens?”

“Yes. That's horrible. Shame on you.” Hijikata went to move the blanket still bunched up in front of him, then remembered why it was there in the first place. “Oi, turn. You need this back, but properly this time.”

Gintoki turned around and lowered himself down so Hijikata would have an easier time getting the blanket on him. It took a little wriggling on Hijikata's part, but he got the entire blanket out from under him and he draped it over Gintoki's wings and shoulders. He pushed at it to make sure it went all the way down Gintoki's back and Gintoki's feathers had to bend against the floor with how close he had to bring them in for the blanket to fit.

“Have I ever mentioned how I feel about that air conditioner?”

“Not sure, my memory isn't the best right now.” Gintoki lifted his right arm and brought it to his back so he could help arrange the blanket. “There something you wanna tell me?”

“Not anymore.”

Hijikata grabbed Gintoki's write and pinned his hand to the sofa. “You sure?”

Gintoki tried struggling to free himself, but Hijikata had all the leverage on his side. Gintoki was too low to the floor, his wings were pinned against the sofa, and so all Hijikata had to do was hold onto him. Knowing he was stuck didn't stop Gintoki from trying to get away and after awhile, Hijikata had to laugh at his attempts.

Hijikata knew that if Gintoki really wanted to, he could find a way to escape, but the situation wasn't dire enough for that. It was just them messing around, bickering as they so often did, and Hijikata enjoyed giving Gintoki a hard time. He really did have Gintoki trapped, but it was just Hijikata, so it wasn't like Gintoki had to rip a wing off to be released – which was something Hijikata knew Gintoki would do if he felt he needed to because he was an _idiot_.

Tightening his grip, Hijikata moved his wing where it rested on the back of the sofa and adjusted it to a more comfortable position. He was relieved the movement was mostly painless and it told him that the medication was doing its job.

Meanwhile, Gintoki futilely kicked his legs and that just put his arm at a worse angle for him, which was likely making it ache. Gintoki never tried using his second arm to get Hijikata to release him and it was probably because he knew Hijikata would just pin that arm down, too. Hijikata held on, waiting, and he was glad that the meds just made him feel relaxed, but didn't render him incapable of doing things like constrain a natural perm. Eventually, Gintoki gave up and Hijikata ran a hand through his hair and left it there to keep his head propped up.

“It seems like there was something you were gonna say.”

Gintoki contorted his body so he could petulantly glare up at him over his shoulder and Hijikata smirked. It was like the battle for the chair – dumb, unnecessary, and fun for no reason other than it was the two of them. Only a few seconds of that had Gintoki slumping back, truly defeated, and he let out a soft laugh.

**((Art by:[Aga](http://kvei.tumblr.com/)))**

“Alright, _fine,_ I'll admit it... the air conditioner is nice.”

“You're welcome.”

“I didn't say thank you.”

“It's what you meant.”

Gintoki tittered indignantly and feebly tried to get his arm back. “Don't assume! All I said is that it's nice!”

“I accept your gratitude.”

With that, he let Gintoki go and the whole thing had zapped him of the rest of the energy he had. Gintoki was grumbling as he turned around, careful to keep the blanket around himself, and Hijikata wasn't at all surprised when he got flicked hard on the forehead.

“There's your gratitude,” Gintoki snarked and settled back down the exact same way he had before.

In retaliation, Hijikata slapped the back of Gintoki's hand and that was all he could muster. He could barely keep his eyes open anymore, but he didn't feel as out of control as he had when the meds had taken over earlier. Gintoki didn't do anything to get back at him and really, he was being calm and quiet, exactly what Hijikata needed him to be. They were silent for a long time and Hijikata was fading fast just listening to the sound of Gintoki breathing. It was a sound he'd gotten used to, like having a wing over him at night, and it lulled him.

“You still awake?”

“Mm....”

A long silence followed and Hijikata felt himself falling into a deep sleep.

“Gorilla, when he....”

The words were barely audible, but they still dragged Hijikata out of the clutches of darkness enough to return a tiny piece of his mind to him. He frowned hazily and slit his eyes open.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, I think I'm just tired.”

Hijikata tilted his head so he could see Gintoki and he had his eyes closed. Maybe Hijikata wasn't the only one that was doing some strange mumbling when he was exhausted. Looking at Gintoki, though, it got Hijikata wanting to ask something of his own, but now wasn't the time. He wanted to be in his right mind when he had his talk with Gintoki and this would be the worst time to say anything.

“Your feathers have gotten so thin here,” Hijikata whispered and touched what he could reach of the nearest one to him. He told himself to shut up, to drop it, to wait, and he wasn't listening. “You'll have a bald spot before you know it.” Gintoki opened an eye to look at the spot, but he said nothing and Hijikata reiterated to himself that he should let it go and wait for a better time. Shifting his good wing, Hijikata brought it forward to lightly bonk Gintoki on the forehead with the area of the joint where his wing folded. “What's goin' on with you, hah?”

Gintoki blinked slowly and even if it weren't dark, Hijikata didn't think he'd be able to decipher anything that was going through Gintoki's mind. Gintoki looked back at his wing, considering it, and Hijikata bonked him on the head again just as gently as before. This time, Gintoki puffed a soft laugh and there was definitely something akin to a smile that turned his mouth.

Or... Hijikata thought that was what he saw, at least. He could feel himself fading again, sinking below the surface once more, and he realized that he hadn't moved his hand when he'd slapped the back of Gintoki's hand earlier. A couple of his fingers were still touching Gintoki's skin somewhere and he tapped his pointer finger against that warm skin just to reinforce with himself that he was still awake and definitely still touching Gintoki. His eyes had slipped shut on their own during this realization and his muscles felt like they'd melted, but Gintoki was there – he tapped his pointer finger again and yup, still there – so it was okay to turn into goo.

Gintoki said something and Hijikata knew it was important for him to hear him, but he was already adrift. He tried to un-jumble the words and he thought maybe he heard _I don't know_ , but he wasn't sure, sleep had already taken him.

**To Be Continued**

 


	32. The Chapter Where Something Finally Happens and Everything Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much has been leading up to this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Silvia: It's here! The beginning of the rewrite! You finally get to know what I've been so excited about!! 
> 
> @Readers: Thank you all so much for sticking with me so far! I'm absolutely thrilled to bring you this chapter and I'm so very proud of it! I had the ending for this fic written a long time ago, but it never felt quite right to me. It was a good ending, definitely, but it didn't feel... good enough? It wasn't until I wound up in Japan that the real ending I wanted hit me! So, I deleted a ton of pages and this chapter right here marks the start of the rewrite! 
> 
> Truly, thank you for your support and patience! I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter! It has been a long time coming! 
> 
> Also, please pay attention to the note at the end when you're done reading! <3

Gintoki woke up from a troubled sleep and his back was aching something fierce. Sleeping in a sitting position was not a good idea when there were two heavy wings on his back and goddamn, he was feeling it. Even leaning on the sofas didn't help and he had knots going from his neck all the way down to his ass, he could feel them.

All that left his mind when he opened his eyes and looked at Hijikata, who was probably in one of the deepest sleeps Gintoki had ever seen him. He was sprawled out more than he was resting like any normal person would and Gintoki's mouth kicked up on one side. Hijikata's hips were turned so he was halfway on his side and he had one leg bent and poking out from beneath the blanket. His arms were strewn in front of him and out to his side and it looked like his yukata was somewhat tangled around him. The blanket was definitely amassed around him in a way it hadn't been when he'd fallen asleep and Gintoki didn't know when or how it had happened.

Reaching out, Gintoki held his hand in front of Hijikata's face and felt the even puffs of warm breath against his fingers. Certain that Hijikata hadn't stopped breathing or having some kind of dream that was causing him to thrash, Gintoki moved his hand up to Hijikata's forehead. He used the back of his hand to feel for a fever or any dampness, but Hijikata was clear of both. Gently, he moved tousled black bangs aside to see Hijikata's face better and he didn't look like he was under any sort of duress or feeling any discomfort. On the contrary, he looked exactly as Gintoki had first surmised: passed the fuck out with his face half-hidden by the pillow.

Gintoki sat back and his body cried out in immediate disapproval. He hurt all the way down to his tailbone and his legs were stiff and cramped. He had to move slowly and it seemed like each movement incited a new sound from him. Cracks, pops, crackles, sounds he didn't even know his body could _make_ , and his joints openly protested having any weight put on them. He was old and falling apart, he decided.

Somewhere muffled, Hijikata's phone started to ring and Gintoki frantically searched for it before it woke Hijikata up. He silently cussed at the stupid fucking cellphone, cussed at his terribly aching body, and cussed even more at the blanket as it got caught up around him in his hurry. He flailed, searching for the cellphone, and he glanced anxiously at Hijikata to make sure he wasn't being disturbed by the sound. He was still sleeping and Gintoki fell on the floor, floundering, as he scrambled for the lost cellphone. He found it beneath his desk and he hit his head on it when he pawed at the phone to get it out.

“Yes, _what_?”

“ _Hello, hello!_ ”

Gintoki cringed at the sound of Wan's voice and crawled awkwardly along the floor to get to his chair. The blanket rested over his back like a turtle shell and he lifted his wings to encourage it to fall off.

“Morning,” Gintoki greeted in a nicer and more hushed tone.

“ _How's Hijikata-san doing_?”

“He slept through most of the night,” Gintoki said and waved away some feathers that had fallen out as he climbed into the chair.

“ _Good, good! How was the twitching_?”

“There were a few twitches and one big jerk, but the splint didn't break.”

“ _Did it hurt him_?”

“It was uncomfortable for him,” Gintoki said reluctantly. “It wasn't anything like what happened when his wing broke.”

He wasn't going to mention that the whole thing had freaked him out. He'd seen Hijikata wounded before, bleeding and exhausted, but he'd never seen Hijikata in that much pain. The way he'd locked up and how his whole body had shaken beneath Gintoki's hands... that was a whole different level of pain. It was a pain that Gintoki could understand and quantify, too, because his sprain had been a major inconvenience for him. He'd only had a taste of what Hijikata was going through and by all rights, Hijikata shouldn't be the one going through it at all.

“ _Were either of the medications needed_?”

“Yeah... after that really bad twitch I gave him a half-tab and it worked maybe a little _too_ well.”

“ _Which one did you use_? _Was it the narcotic_?”

“No, the other one. He didn't remember you telling him about the meds and I didn't want to start him off on something too strong. Was the non-narcotic one supposed to make him loopy? Is that normal?”

“ _It's possible the wings and the added nerves made him more susceptible to the medication. Everyone reacts differently to these kinds of things, especially when their bodies aren't used to them. You didn't contact me, so you must not have been worried about his behavior_.”

“Not concerned enough to call,” Gintoki replied tartly. It wasn't fair to say he hadn't been worried, especially when even now, even when knowing Hijikata was resting peacefully, his stomach was twisting. “Let's just say a little bit of that stuff went a long way.”

“ _What's he doing now_?”

“Sleeping.”

“ _That's the best thing for him. Did he get something to eat_?”

“Yeah, I fed him some stuff last night.”

“ _And he kept it all down_?”

“He ate enough for any two people and didn't seem to struggle with it.”

Gintoki leaned back in the chair as much as he could and looked at Hijikata again. The yukata around his exposed leg was bunched up, so most of what was free of the blanket was just skin, like he'd gotten too hot and needed to cool off. His injured wing was leaned securely on the back of the sofa and the splints didn't seem like they were under any stress. There were feathers, white and black of varying sizes, all over the sofas and seeing Hijikata so at ease with it all made him look oddly peaceful, like he'd let loose in a way he normally didn't.

“ _What about you_?”

Gintoki blinked and nearly dropped the phone, he'd forgotten he was on the line with someone.

“Me?”

“ _Yes, yes! How are you doing_?”

“I'm fine, but I wanted to ask about those heating pads.”

“ _What about them_?”

“Are they okay to use while his wing is broken?”

“ _Of course! They'd probably help_!”

He'd known that, but that was the first question he could think of to throw out. He was about to ask something else when the phone made a beeping sound and he pulled it away from his ear to look at it.

“I think this thing is about to die.”

“ _I won't keep you, then! Contact me when Hijikata-san wakes up and I'll come over to do another checkup_!”

“Alright, will do.”

He snapped the phone shut and the damn thing could fucking die for all he cared, it had caused him nothing but problems. He was probably going to have a bump on his head from where he'd hit it on the desk and he rubbed the spot just to check for one.

There was a rattle against the window behind him and Gintoki froze, his eyes shooting to Hijikata. He held his breath, watching to see if the sound had woken Hijikata up, but he stayed motionless and breathing deeply. Under normal circumstances, Hijikata would have woken up immediately and Gintoki wondered if maybe the med was still lingering in his system.

He worried then that maybe Hijikata had had too much and they'd overdone it, causing him to be _unable_ to wake up. It was a stupid fear, most likely, but Gintoki still started to get up to go to him just to make sure. The only thing that stopped him was Wan's voice in his head telling him that sleeping was the best thing for Hijikata right now.

The rattling came again and it was insistent enough that Gintoki ruled out the wind. Suspicious, he cracked the window open and peered outside. He couldn't see much from that angle, so he opened the window a little wider and looked in all directions. The heat clawed at his cool skin and he winced against it – had it become even hotter? His view was unobstructed and no matter which way he looked, he didn't see anything and the wind definitely wasn't strong enough to make the pane rattle like that.

Suddenly, a rattling came from the front door and Gintoki was much quicker going to it this time. He closed the window up tight and took off for the front door just as the clattering came again, more insistently. It was a risk to open the door without knowing who it was, particularly after what happened with the near abduction, but Gintoki was going to shut that noise up and he wouldn't let anything get to Hijikata, so he didn't see the harm.

He grabbed his bokken from where it was propped up and flung the door open with scathing words resting on the tip of his tongue.

Except, those words never came and Gintoki stopped dead.

Down below, Kagura and Shinpachi were walking down the road and as soon as they saw him, they ran the rest of the way over. Kagura had her umbrella up, but she closed it as she ran and pointed it up like she was ready to open fire.

“Gin-san!” Shinpachi called. “What's going on?”

“How should I know?” Gintoki called back with an almost hysterical note to his voice. “I don't understand anything anymore!”

“We're on our way up, Gin-chan!”

Gintoki stared at the... _guest_ and he really felt like he was losing his grip on reality a little bit. He wasn't sure of anything these days, but at least he was sure that he was going to have to wake Hijikata after all because there was no way he was going to face whatever – he narrowed his eyes at the guest – this was without him.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata woke to the strange sensation of someone playing with his hair. He knew what it felt like, but people didn't generally do anything with his hair unless he allowed them to. The quick thought that Sougo was up to something flashed through his mind, but something told him he didn't have to worry.

Squinting one eye open, he looked up at Gintoki who was squatted with his knees pulled up to his chest and his wings spread wide for balance. Even though Gintoki saw him and knew he was awake, he didn't stop using his fingers to gently make Hijikata's v-cut stand on end in a cone shape.

“What're you doin'?” Hijikata's brow twitched as he noticed something else that was off. “Are there a bunch of feathers on my head?”

“I didn't know the best way to wake you up.”

“So you chose to see how many feathers you could stack on top of me and now you're pulling my hair? What, did you run out of feathers?”

“Actually, yeah.”

“Well, I'm awake now... what's with the wakeup call?”

“I don't wanna alarm you,” Gintoki replied casually, _too_ casually, and he gave Hijikata's hair a friendly tug, keeping it pointed like a horn, “but there's a giant bird Amanto in the kitchen.”

Hijikata tilted his head so his other eye could open and Gintoki half-hid his face against his knees. They stared at each other and Hijikata searched and searched, but he didn't find what he was looking for.

“You're... not kidding.”

“Bird Amanto,” Gintoki repeated, “in the kitchen.”

“Of course there is,” Hijikata said on a sigh as his expression contorted.

“You're making that face....”

“Yeah – shit, yeah, I've gotta pee so bad it hurts. Help me up before I burst something.”

Gintoki let go of his hair and Hijikata reached out to hands that were right there waiting for him like he knew they would be. His wing didn't hurt too bad, but it was still too stiff to move properly and the splint wasn't easy to maneuver around with. He was still in the process of waking up and he needed to get it together _quick_ for this.

He wasn't doing a very good job of it so far, though. Just getting himself out of the nest was proving a challenge because he'd somehow managed to wrap the blanket around him like a boa constrictor. His yukata was riding up on his leg and he was a clumsy, fumbling idiot trying to kick the blanket off him. Gintoki let go of one of his hands to help him and together they managed to release him in a flutter of loose feathers. He didn't need Gintoki's help once he was standing, but the occasional nudge and brush of Gintoki's wings against him were steadying.

“Do you want a sip of this first?” Gintoki asked, proffering a familiar cup.

Hijikata took the cup and swirled the water around to mix up the medication in case it'd settled on the bottom. He took only a small drink, just as a precaution, and he knew from the night before that that wouldn't be enough to mess with his head. He needed to keep his muscles relaxed because who knew what fresh hell was waiting for them in the kitchen.

He gave the cup back and went to the toilet to relieve himself. He didn't need Gintoki's assistance and he felt like he was walking better than the night before. It was probably all that food and he wasn't thinking that merely because it had been delicious. He'd desperately needed those calories as well as the sleep and he felt _better,_ even if he wasn't altogether healed. The grogginess of sleep was lifting quicker than it had before, too, and at face value, that was a good sign.

He washed his hands after flushing and... he could smell himself. His nose curled and he ducked his head, taking a big sniff of his yukata. He smelled awful, like stale sweat and _god_ , natural body odor. It was appalling and the disgust for himself was immediate – he _never_ let himself get this bad! He was a clean person! He had _good_ hygiene! He didn't want to go to the kitchen anymore, he just wanted to go straight for the shower and scrub himself. Gintoki had been sleeping so close to him last night, there was no way the bastard didn't catch a constant whiff of Hijikata's fucking _stench_.

“Oi,” Gintoki tapped an unknown musical beat against the door, “quit playing with yourself. Bird Amanto. In the kitchen.”

Hijikata ran a hand through his hair and it was pathetic, but the giant Amanto almost tied with smelling like death in terms of crises. He patted himself on the cheeks to get himself together and carefully turned on the small space so he could open the door without upsetting his wing.

“Okay,” Hijikata said when he and Gintoki were facing each other, “let's go deal with this.”

He breezed quickly by Gintoki and prayed he couldn't smell him, but since Gintoki was behind him, chances were high that he could and that sucked. After this was all dealt with, he was going to shower and broken wing or not, he was going to find a way to be _clean_. He didn't know why he hadn't noticed the night before and the only excuse he could come up with was that he was so out of his mind with the disorientation and pain that he _couldn't_ notice. However, no excuse was going to make him feel any better about it.

They entered the kitchen and the bird Amanto was impossible to miss as it was, indeed, gigantic. Hijikata couldn't immediately decipher a gender, but the Amanto he was staring at was definitely some sort of heron. It had the long beak, the narrow body, and the slim wings of a heron as well as the lanky and skinny legs. It was large and wore a woven hat that hung around its extended neck by a red ribbon. Its dark eyes conveyed nothing except unhappiness and the Amanto was so much more bird than anything else that Hijikata would have thought it was just a really big heron were it not for the clothing it was, like the gray jacket snug against its back.

“So, there's the Amanto.”

“Well spotted,” Gintoki commended sarcastically.

Kagura had her back to the fridge and she was defending it with all her might. The Amanto was pacing around, its clawed toes making clicking noises against the floor with each step. The jacket it wore had two tailed ends coming off it and they streamed out behind it wherever it went. Shinpachi had taken up post behind the table so he was positioned in front of the air conditioner and his hair was in complete disarray. He looked frazzled, more so than Hijikata had seen him in a long time.

“Get anything while I was gone?” Gintoki asked.

“She's a she!” Shinpachi blurted and clung to the air conditioner. “And she's really mad right now!”

“A gender is a good start, at least.”

Once she saw Hijikata, her head slashed from side to side and the sound she made was downright terrifying. Gintoki and Hijikata both recoiled and Kagura plastered herself more firmly against the fridge like it was really the _food_ in danger here. The bird rushed toward Hijikata, straight for his injured wing, but out of nowhere, Gintoki's wing was in the way. He was right behind Hijikata and his white wing folded over his dressed one, completely covering it and keeping it protected from the threat of a sharp beak. Hijikata leaned into him to make it easier and the bird let out a shriek before diverting and strutting back toward the table.

There was no way Gintoki wasn't able to smell him, he could feel Gintoki's breath on his neck for fuck's sake, and Hijikata could hardly stand it. He wanted to move away just to spare Gintoki the smell, but he... didn't... and stayed put until Gintoki deemed his wing out of danger and released him. He moved to Hijikata's side and his wing stretched out behind Hijikata like he was ready to cover him up again if need be.

The bird let out a shrill squaw, drawing attention to the table, and she slammed one of her feet against a newspaper sitting there. She clicked her beak and the stream of noises she made were fast and sharp. Hijikata grabbed Gintoki's arm to keep them together and pulled him over to the table where the newspaper of them was sitting. She hit her foot against it again and her beak snapped together a few times.

“I'm sorry, ma'am, we can't understand what you're saying,” Hijikata said.

“Ka-chan! Go get Tama!”

“And leave the fridge unprotected?” Kagura asked incredulously, looking like Gintoki had just dealt her the greatest betrayal. “Are you insane?”

“I'll go!” Shinpachi yelled and shot out of the door.

While they waited for Shinpachi to come back, they tried their best to communicate with the Amanto, but she was inconsolable. She strutted and whirled, tapped her beak against the newspaper, and it seemed like she was glaring at them. She ignored Kagura – and the fridge – for the most part and she didn't try to get any closer to Hijikata's hurt wing.

“I got her!” Shinpachi called and came barreling in with Tama in tow.

“Tama! Can you translate any of this?”

Gintoki held his hand out toward the Amanto and as if that had been a cue she'd been waiting for, she let out another stream of sounds. Tama tilted her head and Gintoki snatched his hand back, then huddled close to Hijikata again.

“There has been a big mistake,” Tama relayed and as soon as she said it, the Amanto calmed down and nodded. She spoke in slower, less aggravated clicks and her feathers seemed to be less frazzled than before. “Her name is Aya. She has been looking for you two for a long time.” Aya walked over and touched the newspaper with her foot, her sounds still coming in a steady cadence. “They finally saw you in the paper.”

Gintoki and Hijikata shared a quick look and Hijikata asked, “They?”

Aya bowed her head approvingly to Tama and then stepped over toward a basket that Hijikata just now noticed was partially beneath the table. She pushed it forward with her beak and then stood with it protected between her legs. It was just a small basket, no bigger than an ordinary picnic basket, but it still gave Hijikata a bad feeling. He'd seen a lot of strange things in Edo, he'd experienced many unbelievable and ridiculous things, but until now, he'd never seen a more ominous looking basket in his life.

With careful precision, Aya opened the basket with her beak and then she used a clawed foot to gently tip the basket forward. Once the basket was angled enough, two heads poked out and peered over the rim, one white and one black. A set of yellow and green eyes stared at them and Hijikata's palms started to sweat even before there was any explanation.

In the silence, a couple of Gintoki's feathers fell and softly hit the floor. The white one suddenly leapt up and perched on the rim of the basket, its short and fur-like feathers puffed and standing on end. It looked livid and it was just a tiny ball of fluff, but both Gintoki and Hijikata took a careful step back. It was glaring so hard that its yellow eyes were burning and it looked like a bull getting ready to charge.

It was intimidating... until it let out a not so intimidating, “ _Pi-ya_.”

The sound was meant to be angry, surely, but it was so high pitched and the creature was so _tiny,_ so small it could fit easily in Hijikata's palm... the noise didn't come out nearly as formidable as was expected. One would think the bird had roared with how it leapt off the basket and came sprinting forward. It ran to the fallen feathers and touched them, almost rolling on them, and the black one nearly fell out of the basket in its haste to join its companion.

Both birds started chirping – _pi-ya, pi-ya, pi-ya_ – and they started running in circles upon circles around the two of them. They kept their distance and Hijikata held perfectly still, as did Gintoki, but every other circle, the birds would dive in and dare to come a little closer. They were chirping furiously and Aya walked closer until she could somewhat heard the smaller birds to stand beneath her.

“Tama?” Gintoki prompted.

“I can't understand their voices,” Tama informed him regretfully.

Aya somehow calmed the two smaller birds and used her legs to gather them to her. They were upset, obviously, and if looks could kill, the white one would have slaughtered everyone in the room. It took several minutes for Aya to quiet them and once she managed it, she looked to Gintoki, Hijikata, then Tama in turn while speaking.

“This is Ryse.” Tama motioned toward the white one with the bright and unnerving yellow eyes. Her hand shifted to the black one with the faded green eyes who was squatted down closer to the floor. “And this is Öone.” Aya clacked and Tama turned to Gintoki and Hijikata. “You two have their wings.”

**To Be Continued**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryse is pronounced as “rise,” but in his own tongue it's pronounced more like “ree-zuh.” He will respond to either pronunciation and doesn't care which one is used. 
> 
> Öone is pronounced as “ay-yahn” and his name constantly gets mispronounced as “oh-uhn” so don't call him that. Also, don't call him “oo-n” because that's just rude. Don't be rude to him, please. He is small and just wants his wings back.


	33. Clothes Tell a Tale of Their Own So Watch What You Wear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Information dump about Ryse and Öone!  
> And Gintoki is a bird whisperer.

“I'm still asleep.”

“You're awake,” Gintoki told him.

“I'm in the deepest sleep.”

“No.”

“Havin' the weirdest dream right now.”

“This isn't a dream.”

“I'm hallucinating.”

“Nope.”

“I'm in hell, then.”

“Hell is outside in that heat.”

Hijikata sighed and glared weakly at Gintoki, muttering, “Bastard.”

Kagura snickered and Hijikata glared at her, too, but she was unconcerned with it. She and Shinpachi were in front of the fridge, guarding it still, and the birds were all over by the table.

“We,” Gintoki motioned to himself and Hijikata, “have _their_ ,” he waved a hand toward the small birds, “wings?” Aya nodded, her head bobbing, and Gintoki nodded, too. “Makes sense.”

“ _This_ makes sense to you?” Hijikata asked and just then, Öone bumped into Ryse and fell, flopping onto his side with a soft _blep_. “Have you lost your mind?”

“No way! This just fits! All this time we've been trying to figure out some kind of explanation for these wings and this makes more sense than anything we were coming up with.” He leaned in really close to Hijikata, so close that he had to turn sideways slightly to get his mouth near enough to Hijikata's ear so he could whisper quietly just for him to hear, “I'll explain later, just trust me on this one, okay?”

He moved away and Hijikata had to rub the back of his neck where the small hairs there were prickling and standing on end. He leered at Gintoki, but there was no question as to whether or not he trusted him. Trust had come a long time ago and had only become more solidified during their forced time together. His brows scrunched and he did have to wonder when exactly he'd truly started to trust Gintoki. It had been long before the wings happened, that was for sure.

“Okay,” Hijikata replied and looked to Aya. “Alright, if these wings belong to them, then how did their wings end up on us?”

Aya spoke and Tama listened while the two small birds rocked together or hopped a couple steps in seemingly random directions. They were restless and nervous and Hijikata didn't miss that the black seemed to be unable to keep his balance. Hijikata tried not to stare, but every single time Öone tilted, Hijikata was watching him. It didn't seem like he was being jerked and losing his footing, he would just randomly topple over or roll for no explicable reason. Every once in awhile, Ryse would let out a tiny _peep_ and Aya would stop talking to silence him with a rattling shushing sound.

“They come from a planet where their kind, the Kátor, have been enslaved,” Tama explained when Aya paused. “Over the years, they have found ways to escape, but something went wrong with the latest group they tried to get out. They were attacked during their escape and that is how they ended up in Edo.”

“Did their wings get dislodged from them during impact?” Gintoki asked and Hijikata couldn't tell if it was a serious question or not.

Tama shook her head. “The Amanto that enslaved the Kátor are not native to their home planet. Those Amanto, known as the Tolvaj, brought with them a type of stone that allowed them to steal wings and encase them within the stone. The Tolvaj stole them with the intention to use them, but their bodies proved to be incompatible and they died the moment of transition.”

Gintoki's wings were huge as they fluffed up and Hijikata felt his own doing the same, which _hurt_ because his right wing was still very much held in a bind.

“Did you know humans would be compatible?” Gintoki asked.

“There is no way they could have known until this happened,” Tama answered.

Hijikata rubbed his eyes. “So, basically, we just got really lucky that we didn't explode in that lightning during... what'd you call it? The moment of transition?”

“They do not know why or how things happened the way they did, but they are grateful your bodies can host those wings like this. When the Tolvaj tried, the wings got destroyed in the process and the Kátor those wings belonged to died soon after. When this group was attacked during their escape, these Kátor were separated from the stones encasing their wings. The stones were knocked down into Edo and landed on you.”

“Landed on us?” Gintoki spluttered. “We got struck by _lightning_!”

Aya clacked and Tama said, “Yes, that is what they do when they activate.”

“And what's up with their sizes? Why are they so small while these wings are huge?”

“When their wings get taken from them, they lose what makes them who they are and their size diminishes. That is how the Tolvaj managed to keep them enslaved.” Aya let out a loud squawk and Tama continued, “They are much bigger with their wings. Maybe bigger than you, Gintoki-sama.”

“We can compare sizes when they get their wings back,” Gintoki said and Hijikata sighed at the buried joke.

“They were attacked during their escape,” Hijikata said, “does that mean they're still in danger?”

“They're still being hunted, but the threat for them has diminished,” Tama replied after listening to Aya.

“What about us? If you found us through a picture in the newspaper, couldn't the Tolvaj find us the same way?”

“Without Ryse and Öone, the wings are useless to the Tolvaj. The Kátor have the wings they are born with and their bodies will reject any other wings offered to them through the stones. The Tolvaj believe these two to be dead, so they have no reason to come for the wings.”

Gintoki clicked his tongue. “If they're believed to be dead, then why are they still being hunted?”

“They are two of the most prized Kátor and the Tolvaj want them back. The full search has stopped, but there are still Tolvaj that come here to look. It's possible the newspaper will attract attention, but they'll need to find Öone and Ryse before the wings will become of any use to them.”

“They could still come here thinking those birds,” Hijikata looked at Ryse and Öone, “came here to get their wings once the paper came out.”

“Is it okay to even call them birds?” Gintoki asked.

“Would you stop? I have a good point!”

“And I have a good question!”

Hijikata wing punched him in the side and Gintoki wing punched him right back. Hijikata would have done it again, but Aya squawked at them and they both stopped.

“She says it is fine to refer to them as birds, they are aware of the resemblance they have to common aves,” Tama said. “They also agree with you, Hijikata-san. It's true the Tolvaj could come here looking for them, but they decided to risk coming here anyway because of what they saw in the paper.”

“I'm getting out of a car,” Hijikata said drily and he wasn't going to mention that he was actually stuck there.

Aya walked over to the table, the two birds bumped into each other several times as they hurried to stay underneath her, and she used her beak to pick the paper up. She brought it back and dropped it in front of them, then tapped each of them with the pointed end of her beak.

“You are fighters,” Tama said. “They believe that if a Tolvaj came here, you would be able to hold it off.” Aya spoke some more and Tama nodded, then turned to face Gintoki and Hijikata. “They have a request.”

Gintoki shrugged and his right wing touched Hijikata's left one as he replied, “This is the Yorozuya.”

“They do not have any stones to get their wings back from you and they were hoping that you would keep Ryse and Öone safe while Aya regroups with other escaped Kátor that are waiting. They are currently unsure how to get some of the stones for themselves and Ryse and Öone do not want to be separated from their wings again after finally finding them.”

Hijikata looked to Gintoki and his head was turned, eyes on Hijikata. There was an unasked question there and it was clear Gintoki's decision had already been made, he was just double-checking with Hijikata. It was Gintoki's apartment, he was the only one whose opinion had any real weight in this, but he was still checking with Hijikata anyway. It made sense, in a way, since they did share their space and had been doing so for a long time, but there was a certain feeling Hijikata got knowing that Gintoki would look to him like this.

They were making this decision together and Hijikata gave a nod of agreement.

“They can stay,” Gintoki said.

Aya bowed her head and spoke softly.

“You will keep them safe,” Tama relayed and it wasn't a question.

“Of course we will!” Kagura proclaimed and all three birds twitched, slightly startled. “I don't know what a Tolvaj is, but I'll squash any that come here after you!”

She lifted a flailing Shinpachi off the ground and waved him around like he was some kind of flag. Aya bent her legs, lowering herself over Ryse and Öone, and she said something to Tama who then whispered to Gintoki.

“Ka-chan! Quit terrorizing them!”

“I'm just showing them we'll keep them safe!”

Shinpachi snapped, “Put me down! You're scaring them!”

Ryse let out an indignant noise and charged forward, but came to a skidding stop when he got too close. Öone had chased after him and when Ryse stopped, Öone collided with him and the two went tumbling, cheeping all the while. That must have been _way too close_ because they both rolled around frantically, then dashed back to Aya and gathered beneath her.

“Why don't you two go downstairs?” Gintoki suggested. “Let the old hag know what's going on.”

Hijikata added, “They've been through a lot, they'll need time to settle in.”

Kagura looked like she was about to protest, but Shinpachi grabbed her and pulled her toward the door.

“We wanted to talk to you, Gin-san, so we'll wait in the hall before going down.”

“I'll come out now.”

Gintoki went out into the hall with them and Hijikata could hear them talking as they moved toward the front door. Aya was having a talk with Tama, so Hijikata just stood there and... smelled himself. He felt like he was giving off waves of stench and what if the birds could smell him? What would Öone think knowing that the person that had his wings reeked to high heaven? It was embarrassing and not the kind of first impression he wanted to give them.

“Aya needs to get back to her kind. They are waiting for her to bring news to them, she has to hurry.”

“Ah... okay, but what're we supposed to do with them?” Hijikata asked, motioning to Ryse and Öone.

“Take care of them and keep them safe.”

“That doesn't give us much to go off of.”

Aya was having a conversation with Öone and Ryse and when she was done, she walked away and they didn't follow. The two of them stayed huddled by the table and Aya said something to Tama as she left.

“She wants to leave through the window in the living room.”

“That's fine, but –”

Tama left behind Aya to open the window for her, probably, and Hijikata stood there awkwardly while the birds stared at him. He didn't know what to say or if he should say anything to them, so he just stood and averted his eyes. Tama didn't come back, but Hijikata heard her walk to the front door where Gintoki was still talking to his kids. The birds were still just _staring_ at him and he didn't want to get any closer in case they caught a whiff of how bad he smelled, which left him with very few options.

“I'm gonna... I'll be back.”

He left and he wanted to give Gintoki more time with his kids, but he couldn't stand being in the kitchen any longer. He went to the front door where the small group was gathered and he _did_ feel like he was interrupting a family moment. They were laughing about something and Kagura was mindlessly twirling a small white feather between her fingers. Tama was with them and Shinpachi was leaning back against one of Gintoki's wings. The space looked small with all of them crowded together and Hijikata almost didn't want to approach, but he couldn't turn around after he'd been spotted, either.

“They okay in there by themselves?” Gintoki asked.

“I think so. They didn't do anything when I left.”

Kagura's nose scrunched and her face crumpled. “What's that _smell_?”

“That's it!” Hijikata burst and tossed his hands. “I can't with this anymore!” Gintoki blinked large eyes at him and Hijikata had to give him credit for not reacting more than that, especially since Hijikata had grabbed his sword from next to the door. He grabbed Gintoki's arm with his free hand and dragged him toward the living room. “Get over here.”

“I'll see you guys later!” Gintoki called and didn't struggle.

He pulled Gintoki all the way to the bedroom and he didn't bother closing the door because no one was following them and the birds were still hidden in the kitchen. He handed Gintoki his word and yanked at his yukata meaningfully.

“Cut this for me.”

“You sure? You'll have to get rid of it if I do, it'll just be rags.”

“I don't care, just get it off me!”

Gintoki unsheathed the sword, instructing, “Hold still.”

Hijikata felt the cool blade barely skim his skin and his whole body erupted into goosebumps. He heard the fabric tear and piece by piece, Gintoki removed the yukata from him until he was left in only his boxers. Gintoki's hands would touch him periodically to move him and he was so careful about it, Hijikata knew he had nothing to fear. Even if he didn't know Gintoki was a skilled swordsman, he wouldn't be afraid of getting nicked or scraped.

“There you go, all done.”

“I'm gonna go clean up.”

“Really? And here I thought you just wanted to air out.” Hijikata shot Gintoki a bemused look as he went to the closet for a couple fresh towels. “I'm gonna go check on our guests.”

“Did Tama say anything more about them?”

“Not really, all she said is that Aya is in a rush to get back and find some of those stones.”

“We should've asked more questions about all that.”

Gintoki paused by the door. “We don't know when Aya will come back, but I'm sure we'll have a better idea of what to ask when she shows up.”

“She was definitely in a hurry.” He held his towels to him and joined Gintoki by the door. “Good luck with the birds.”

“Thanks, I might need it.”

-o-O-o-

Gintoki went back into the kitchen and the two birds were in the corner, quiet and subdued. Öone was slightly behind Ryse and his black body was slanted against the wall like standing on his own was too much of a task. He started walking toward them with small and cautious steps, but when he got too close, they scuttled away toward the table. Öone was slower and almost tripped on the way, but he righted himself – barely – and joined Ryse behind the table leg.

Instead of trying to walk forward again, Gintoki leaned down into a crouch and opened his hands against the floor with his palms pointed up. Both birds looked at him around the wooden leg, but neither of them made any move toward his hands.

“No? Okay, then I'll come to you.”

He got down on the floor so that he was on his stomach and he made it so that he was as low as possible for them. He kept his hands where the two birds could see them and waited to see what either of them would do. The white one was the first to approach and he stayed clear of Gintoki's reach, but he did hop nearer, his head tilting this way and that as he took Gintoki in.

“Ryse, huh?” The bird peeped at him. “You don't seem so bad.”

The bird in question fluffed up and golden eyes narrowed, but it wasn't in anger. Actually, this close, Gintoki could see better and Ryse looked... tired. Aya had said their kind were enslaved and that they'd managed to escape, but Ryse and Öone weren't free yet. No, they were stuck in a sick limbo that Gintoki felt he could understand to a certain extent.

They stared at each other and to Gintoki, Ryse looked bedraggled and harried. He wondered what Ryse thought of him and then decided that maybe he didn't want to know.

After a short time, Ryse ran in, pecked Gintoki's hand, and then sprinted out of reach. Gintoki didn't move and he watched Ryse dash in to peck his hand and retreat again. He was fluffed up even more, like getting so close freaked him out, but he held his ground and even came in to peck Gintoki a third time. Each peck was getting progressively harder, but Gintoki didn't so much as flinch, he made sure he didn't.

“I'm not gonna do anything to you.”

Ryse regarded him awhile longer and then began to circle him starting toward the left side. Gintoki extended the wing on that side out and brought it down so Ryse could touch it if he wanted to, which, apparently, he did. Gintoki felt Ryse brush up against the wing and move around beneath it while on his clawed tiptoes so he could stay in contact with the feathers as long as possible. Öone watched from behind the table leg and he was leaning on it pretty heavily from what Gintoki could see.

“Come over whenever you want,” Gintoki told him while Ryse inspected him.

He stayed where he was and even closed his eyes. He hadn't been getting much sleep at all lately, what with everything going on, so it felt nice just to close his eyes for a bit. He needed to be careful because the white parts of his eyes would start turning really red and veiny soon. He also wanted to keep his eyes closed because people in general seemed less threatening if they weren't watching or able to look. He was hoping the birds would feel that way and sure enough, he eventually felt two little bodies scurrying around beneath his lowered wings.

They were only exploring and Gintoki was fine giving them that. He didn't mind if they wanted to crawl all over him or peck at him to see if he'd do anything. It was shockingly easy to put himself in their position and so all he did was give them what he'd want in their place. He only opened his eyes when everything seemed to go quiet and he found both birds to be somewhat melancholy.

“We don't know anything about you guys, so I don't really know the best way to help you.” Öone walked further into his field of vision and looked at him, his green eyes searching. “This whole staring soulfully at me thing isn't gonna work, we need some kind of communication.” Öone blinked and Gintoki didn't know if that was a blink of agreement or a _wow I have no idea what you're saying to me_ blink. “The easiest thing would be if I ask yes or no questions and one or both of you just made some noise if the answer is yes. Can you do that?”

Öone fluffed up to twice his size and he looked _pleased_ as he chirped. Ryse came trotting around and he took up the space next to Öone so they could both watch Gintoki. Raising his right arm, Gintoki slowly brought it forward and let them see that he was just putting it beneath his head.

“It's more comfortable than the floor,” he explained. “Now that we have a yes or no thing figured out, why don't you two pick a sound to make when you wanna get my attention.”

Ryse unleashed an unholy high pitched scream and Gintoki couldn't tell, but it seemed like Öone was laughing.

“No! Not that one! Make that your sound when there's an emergency! Pick something else for me!”

The two of them twittered softly amongst themselves and then, in unison, they made a _piiii-ya piiii-ya_ sound. It was much more pleasant than the scream and like all the other noises they made, it was somewhat high pitched.

“Perfect, let's run through this from the top. Can you answer yes or no questions?” The birds chirped. “When you want my attention, what do you do?” _Piiii-ya_ they both repeated. “And when there's an emergency, what sound do you make?”

Not only did they both scream at the top of their little lungs, so loudly Gintoki felt his ears would start bleeding, but they began running around frantically while they did it. The little fuckers had a sense of humor, it seemed, and Gintoki writhed dramatically as he covered his ears.

“Enough already! I get it! Good job, you did it! I'm deaf now!” He stood up slowly and made sure to give both birds plenty of room. “You can't stay in the kitchen forever. Come on, let's find you someplace more comfortable.”

-o-O-o-

Hijikata bathed and scrubbed, cleaning every crevice, and he was already feeling so much better. His back ached, but the meds were doing their job and so he was able to bathe without issue. Well, there was _one_ issue and he realized it as soon as he started cleaning. He'd spent the whole time trying to prepare himself for what he needed to do, but he didn't have full confidence that he'd be able to pull it off without making a fool of himself.

Standing up from the stool, he put one of the towels around his waist and sat back down. He wasn't ready for this, but he had no choice.

“Oi! You out there?”

A long moment later, Gintoki tapped on the door, replying, “Yeah.”

“Get in here.” Gintoki entered and Hijikata held up a washcloth. “I can't get my broken wing wet and I can't clean my back without risking getting my wing wet... I could maybe use a hand.”

“You're in luck, it just so happens I've got two of them for rent.”

“Speaking of rent, since I pay for most of yours, I expect you to do this free of charge.”

Gintoki paused as he took the washcloth and seemed to consider that.

“Damn, you've kinda got me on that one.”

“I've been living with you long enough to know how your sadist mind works.”

“Don't say that, you'll jinx yourself.”

Hijikata scoffed and didn't want to admit that Gintoki was probably right. The washcloth touched the middle of his back and he managed not to react. If he thought too much about Gintoki touching him, this would likely turn into a completely inconvenient and catastrophic disaster.

“How's it going with the birds?”

“Okay, I think,” Gintoki said and added some soap the area at the base of Hijikata's wings. “I talked to them some.”

“Did they talk back?”

“In their own way.”

“Where'd you leave them?”

“They seem to like having their feathers around, so I let them have the sofas since there's feathers all over those.”

“Thoughtful of you.”

Gintoki didn't comment and instead used a bucket of warm water to rinse all the suds off of Hijikata's back. Without being asked, he started to take care of Hijikata's good wing as well and that led to some black feathers circling the drain. Hijikata didn't want to focus on what Gintoki was doing, he needed a distraction, and right now talking was all they could really do, so he reached for something to say.

“Earlier you said us having these wings makes sense... care to explain that now?”

“Remember what happened at the dentist?”

“I try not to, we've been over this.”

“Yeah, but remember how fucked up all that was?”

“Unfortunately, it's something I'll never forget.”

Gintoki chuckled. “Same for me and that's why the wings make sense. You have a cursed sword that gave you an alter-ego, is that really more difficult to accept than a stone falling from the sky and attaching wings to you through a lightning bolt?”

“When you put it like that....”

“We've used real people as snowboards before, we had a crisis over a popularity poll, we've battled a giant mosquito –”

“Remember the time we were all running around the Yagyuu estate breaking plates on each other?”

“How could I ever forget that? By the way, why _did_ you pick the biggest plate? Compensating for something?”

Hijikata gargled and shook his head, sending droplets flying from his damp hair.

“No! I hadn't been thinking! I never thought I'd be doing something like that with your lot! As usual, I just got dragged into it!”

“Shinpachi had a lot to say after he saw you fight that day.”

Hijikata colored and cleared his throat. “He's easily impressed, that's all. That whole situation was ridiculous, anyway.”

“Ridiculous like the time Gorilla almost married a gorilla?”

“That was so awful,” Hijikata groaned.

“Oh, right,” Gintoki mumbled and dropped the washcloth, “fuck, sorry, that was stupid.”

Hijikata frowned. “It's fine, just pick the washcloth back up.”

Of all the things to apologize for, dropping a washcloth was definitely one of the weirdest. Gintoki picked it back up and rinsed it out before returning to Hijikata's dripping wing. It was nearly done and Hijikata already had his next course of action planned out.

“I do see what you mean, though. We've been through a lot of messed up stuff,” Hijikata said.

“If you wanna talk about messed up, then do I need to remind you about that whole screwdriver thing?”

“No! Anything but that!” Hijikata yelled and shuddered.

“See? I'd take having wings over having my dick turned into a screwdriver any day. That's why this is easy to accept.”

“You've made your point!”

“Good, but I've got more examples if you wanna hear them.”

“That won't be necessary.”

“You sure? I've got a lot more where that came from.”

“I know you do,” Hijikata said and laughed a little. “ _Believe me_ , I know. I'm probably part of it in most of those examples.”

“You are,” Gintoki agreed. “You're now also clean.”

“Thanks, I needed that.”

Hijikata got up and used his other towel to dry off. Gintoki stepped back to give him room and turned around to give him enough privacy to put his boxers on in place of his towel. When Hijikata left for the bedroom, Gintoki trailed behind him and he probably thought Hijikata might need help changing, but he had something else in mind. He was a man on a mission and Gintoki was probably wondering if a screw had come loose in his head. He went straight to the closet and rifled through until he found a pair of Gintoki's pants. He put them on and found that they fit nicely even though they were slightly wider than what he'd normally wear.

“You can't just walk around without a shirt....”

Hijikata looked at him and his eyes flicked up and down.

“That shirt clean?”

“I changed recently, but –”

“That works.”

Hijikata went behind Gintoki and yanked the bottom of the slits until they tore completely. He pulled at it until he was able to get Gintoki to shrug out of it and then he put it on himself. With the slits torn all the way down, getting the shirt on was easy because there was nothing he had to maneuver his wings through. He settled it around himself and zipped it up halfway, now fully clothed against the air conditioner.

Gintoki was looking like he didn't know what the hell had just happened, so Hijikata decided to help him with that because there was no way he'd be able to find words to talk. He went back to the closet and fished out a clean white yukata that he flapped a few times to open it up. It was one that already had slits in it, so he went back behind Gintoki and held it for him to get into. Except, Gintoki didn't do anything and Hijikata knew his face was red by the time Gintoki finally looked back at him over his shoulder.

“Is this not okay?”

“It's fine,” Gintoki said and lowered his right wing to push it through the slit.

“Probably should've asked first.”

Gintoki faced forward again and laughed lowly. “Nah, I prefer my clothes being pulled off me. Asking would've ruined the mood.”

Hijikata flicked the back of his neck and he was _so glad_ Gintoki couldn't see him. He helped Gintoki into the yukata and watched him tie it off... he then continued to watch him as he took off his pants. He shouldn't still be watching, he should've looked away, but he watched and caught a glimpse of pink before the yukata fell into place.

“I'm gonna go check on the birds.”

Gintoki headed for the living room, his eyes flicking in Hijikata's direction, and Hijikata opened his mouth to warn him, but too late, both of Gintoki's wings smacked into the doorframe with a loud _slam_ that rattled the door. Ryse and Öone made noise wherever they were and Hijikata rushed over. He took Gintoki by the shoulders and spun him so he could look at each wing in turn.

“Be more careful,” Hijikata chastised and stepped around some feathers that had fallen during the collision. “I've already got a broken wing, we don't need you to have one, too.”

“I wasn't thinking! I'm fine, I do it all the time! You know that!”

Hijikata backed off and bent down to pick up one of the fallen feathers. Now was as good time as any to bring up Gintoki's feather loss and it was a conversation that was probably overdue. However, a white blur dashed into view and the feather Hijikata had been going for disappeared. Ryse was standing next to the sofa where a bunch of Jumps were stacked up to create a staircase that Hijikata hadn't noticed earlier. He had the feather in his beak and Hijikata watched him hop up the Jumps to drop the feather in a pile they must have made for themselves.

“I haven't called Gorilla yet, figured you'd wanna do that.”

Hijikata almost cussed – the moment to talk to Gintoki about his feather loss had just escaped him again.

“Yeah, I do, thanks. I'll give him a call soon.”

“And Wan wants to come over and check up on you. I was supposed to call when you woke up, but...” he trailed and glanced at the birds. “He'll be excited to see them, but I think we should give them more time to adjust.”

“Where's my phone? I'll call him and tell him I'm fine for today.”

“Your wing is still broken, you're not fine.”

“What do you wanna do, then?”

Gintoki pursed his lips and went out into the living room. He leaned over the back of the far sofa and watched the birds go about their business. Hijikata went over to join him and pushed in closely next to him so his good wing could press against him. Gintoki made room for him and they shared the back of the sofa to lean on.

“Oi! Feather heads, over here!” Ryse and Öone scuttled toward them – Öone fumbled over a fold in the blanket on the way – and looked expectantly up at Gintoki. “You okay with meeting someone new?” Ryse chirped so quietly it could barely be heard and Öone shifted his weight from side to side anxiously. “You'll have to meet him eventually. He pokes, but I won't let him poke you.”

“He's the one that has been looking after my wing,” Hijikata said and flinched. “ _Your_ wing,” he amended, looking at Öone. “He'll only be here to make sure your wing is set and healing well.”

“You can stick with me while he's here. We can stay and watch or we can shut ourselves up somewhere until he leaves.” Öone tipped over onto his side and only chirped when Ryse chirped. “Is that a yes that it's okay for Wan to come over?”

This time, both birds chirped in unison, but neither of them seemed excited about it.

“Oh, so you _do_ talk to them?”

“Ehh... in a way? I'll show you, but we're still kinda working on it.”

“I should start calling you the bird whisperer.”

“Don't do that, I like the other nicknames you have for me.”

Hijikata snorted and pressed his wing firmly into Gintoki's, asking, “Where's my phone? I'll get the call out of the way, then you can show me your new form of natural perm magic.”

“You're such a –”

“Mayora?”

“Dumbass,” Gintoki finished. “Your phone is on the desk, but it might be dead.”

“Why'd you let it die?”

“I hate it. Pretty sure I mentioned that.”

Hijikata went over to the desk and his phone was still alive, but barely, it wouldn't make it through a phone call. He told Gintoki he was going to go plug it in and on his way back to the bedroom, he watched Gintoki lower his hand and allow the birds to peck at it. It didn't seem like they were hurting him, so Hijikata didn't say anything to intervene, but he'd definitely ask about that later.

He plugged his phone into the cord hanging out of the socket and sat down so he wouldn't have to bend over. Calling Wan turned into a somewhat lengthy conversation where he answered the usual questions about whether or not he was okay. He answered all the questions without getting too annoyed and by the time he hung up, he leaned his head back and sighed. Sitting without any support for his wing was really starting to ache and wanted another sip or two from his cup of watered down medication just to take the edge off.

He was slow getting up and he stretched once he was standing. When his wings had fluffed up earlier, he'd put pressure on the wood pieces and it felt like he might still be feeling some hurt from that. His back was just tired of carrying around the extra weight and he figured it might benefit him to sit and prop his bad wing up for awhile. He didn't know where he'd do that if the birds were on the sofas, but Gintoki would help him find a spot when he brought it up.

Except, as Hijikata left the bedroom and entered the living room, the front door opened.

“That can't be him,” Gintoki said and the birds freaked out.

“He wouldn't let himself in, either.”

The birds ran around and didn't make a sound, but they were obviously panicked to hell and back. Their feathers were standing on end and when Gintoki lowered his arm to maybe comfort them, they leapt at him. They crawled and clawed and pecked until they were pressed against Gintoki's stomach and he was holding them there with his arm. They burrowed into him and took shelter in the folds of his yukata, their eyes wide and terrified.

Hijikata went forward around the sofas and he spread his good wing out in a way that hid where Gintoki was holding the birds to him, but allowed Gintoki full visibility. He was ready for a fight, they both were, but once the person came into view, it was clear they weren't under any threat.

Although, Hijikata became _very_ aware that he was wearing Gintoki's clothes.

Very, very aware.

“Baa-san!” Gintoki called.

Otose looked at Gintoki, then to Hijikata, and the way her eyes _lingered_ as they flicked over him with excruciating slowness forced Hijikata to acknowledge something. He was wearing Gintoki's clothes and to Otose, there could be any number of reasons for that, especially since he and Gintoki had been staying with each other for so long by now. Hijikata didn't ever share his clothes with others, not even Kondo unless it was an emergency. Couples shared clothes, though, and if Otose assumed he and Gintoki were sleeping together... well, Hijikata just realized he wouldn't mind it if that was the conclusion she came to.

So, Otose and Gintoki might be thinking his face had just gone to an unhealthy shade of red because he was embarrassed over being seen in Gintoki's clothing, but no, that wasn't it at all.

**To Be Continued**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tolvaj is pronounced “toll-vai.”
> 
> Kátor is pronounced “kah-tor.”


	34. The Infamous OH Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When two characters spend a long time silently pining for each other, one of them is bound to have an OH moment eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, Gintoki!!!! 
> 
> And a big thank you to Cynder for the surprise fanart of my flightless birbs!!!! <333

**Art by:[Cynder](http://michellehartnett.artstation.com/)**

Hijikata couldn't explain what was happening to him.

He was in the room, he was present, he could see what was going on, but his mind was in some other universe altogether. No one was paying him any mind and that was great, that was perfect, because he needed an honest to god minute to get his shit together.

Gintoki was talking to Otose and Hijikata's brain was feverishly running over all his weeks and days in the company of a certain natural perm. That quickly went from days and weeks to months and years and he hadn't been aware of the leap until it was all held out in front of him. He wasn't trying to think about anything specific, he wasn't really trying to think of anything at all, but everything was there and it was coming in a flood. He was drowning in all the memories as he strung them together one by one and each one felt lighter than the last. Collectively, it was an overwhelming amount of memories and when gathered up, they amounted to something that was hard to put a definitive name to.

Otose and Gintoki were still talking and, just to test something, Hijikata brought the lapels of Gintoki's shirt inward until it could be pulled up to cover his nose. He took a deep breath and Gintoki's scent assailed him. He'd spent so much time with Gintoki that he was used to the way he smelled, he even _liked_ the way Gintoki smelled, and it was a little startling to realize that that had been there all along without him really thinking about it. His eyes closed as he took another deep breath and he didn't give a damn if they saw him doing it, which was perhaps one of the most startling things of this whole ordeal.

He released the shirt and his hand dropped numbly to his side. He stared at the floor and his mind took him all the way back to when he and Gintoki had first met. It hadn't felt that long ago until now when he was really looking at it and he couldn't believe how much time had actually passed. Rooftops, fights, yelling – even then, Gintoki had been something else entirely, so different from what Hijikata had been used to. Hijikata had remembered him after that and Gintoki had appeared time and time again for every imaginable reason. From bloodsucking Amanto to bringing Hijikata back from his alter-ego to saving the Shinsengumi from the Mimawarigumo, Gintoki had _been there_.

“Oi, are you hearing me?” Hijikata zoned back in and there was Gintoki right in front of him. “You... okay?”

Hijikata opened his mouth, but what could he say?

Really, what the _fuck_ could he say?

 _Was_ he okay?

“Feelin' a little dizzy....”

“C'mere, let's sit you down.”

Gintoki wrapped an arm around Hijikata's waist and he was able to move him with laughable ease. Gintoki's other hand rested on Hijikata's hip to guide him and that was good for two reasons: the steadying hold it offered since Hijikata's legs were like a separate entity and it was nice just to have it there with Gintoki's fingers sliding over the curve of his hipbone with almost possessive familiarity.

And wasn't that just the strangest thing? Having Gintoki touch him like this felt new, but it wasn't. Gintoki had been casually touching him like this for a long time – when Hijikata's wing jerked, when they scuffled, when they helped each other dress, when they moved around each other in limited space – so there was nothing really _special_ about this time. It was just an innocent touch, nothing more, and it somehow made Hijikata's head feel even less centered.

Hijikata was sat down on the sofas and that didn't help him feel any less dizzy. His world wasn't spinning and he didn't feel sick, but there was a lightheaded sensation that kept him from getting his bearings. Gintoki lowered himself to his knees and stayed in front of Hijikata so they could see each other. Hijikata didn't have to incline his head this way and Gintoki kept them touching in some way. He rested a hand on the sofa, but he also had a hand against Hijikata's thigh so he could brush his fingers against Hijikata's wrist. It was a tentative contact, a careful question, and his fingers were warm like the rest of him.

However, the angle made Gintoki's sleeve slide down and Hijikata frowned.

“You're bleeding.”

“Just a little,” Gintoki said softly. “Their toes have claws on them and they're sharper than they look.”

“Yeah, but,” his fingers touched Gintoki's forearm, “bleeding.”

“It's okay, they didn't mean to, they were just scared.”

Of course getting ripped to shreds by tiny claws was fine – this was Gintoki. The birds had been around for less than a day and Gintoki was already attached to them, probably to the point where he'd throw himself into harm's way for them, no matter the personal cost. Not that that came as any real surprise – for someone that pushed people away and kept everyone at a distance, he sure put himself on the wire often enough. Hijikata warmed then, because he knew Gintoki would do that and more for _him,_ too.

“It looks like he's having one of your episodes.”

Episodes.

Hijikata let that sink in and his eyes didn't leave Gintoki's arm.

It made sense that Gintoki suffered from post traumatic stress disorder, so hearing Otose mention it was only slightly shocking. Slightly just because she mentioned it right in front of Hijikata, but they both probably thought he was batshit and wouldn't remember it or think anything of it. He'd like to think she did it because she liked and trusted him, but she didn't know him well enough for that yet. Hijikata also already knew Gintoki had nightmares and the kids knew, too, but having Otose actually give voice to Gintoki's disorder made it even more real and then made Hijikata feel like Otose was the only one Gintoki allowed to help him if it got bad enough.

The sudden surge of _emotions_ told Hijikata that _he_ wanted to be one of the people Gintoki allowed to do that. Hijikata wanted to be with him, see him through it. He wanted to learn the signs, he wanted to know what to do that would help Gintoki the most, and, more importantly, he just wanted to _be there_ – just like Gintoki somehow always managed to be for him. Taking on someone like Gintoki was going to be a huge responsibility and Gintoki himself was probably a liability right from the start, but Hijikata didn't care.

God, he didn't care at all.

“At least he's responsive.”

“I'm not?”

“Not always.”

Gintoki glanced over his shoulder at her as if to ask something, but he must have thought better of it because he turned right back to Hijikata instead.

It occurred to him that he could lean forward and kiss Gintoki right now – he wanted to. He'd do it right in front of Otose, he didn't care, but he didn't go through with the want. As hazy and tepid as his mind was at the moment, he had enough presence to know that if he kissed Gintoki now, the moron would think he'd only done it because he was having some kind of post traumatic crisis. Gintoki would probably find a way to blame himself for it, too. Still, it didn't stop Hijikata from wondering what it'd be like to kiss Gintoki and there was no getting rid of the thought once it took hold.

It should be alarming how fast it took hold, too.

Hijikata's wings were unmoving and he knew they wouldn't twitch because he wasn't tensing and he wasn't freaking out. Now that things had clicked, everything was making so much more sense for him. Hell, the day he'd gone back to the barracks, he'd thought about Gintoki so often that by the end of the day, he couldn't stand it anymore and had just wanted to be with him. He could make every excuse in the fucking world, but the truth was that he'd missed the bastard so much that he didn't want to be away from him for that long. He remembered that night so well and it was pathetic that all these realizations were hitting him _now_.

Gintoki was looking at him so earnestly and intently, he'd do anything to help Hijikata. He cared a great deal for Hijikata – cared so much that Hijikata could steal the clothes right off his back and Gintoki just _let him_. There were shaded semi-circles under Gintoki's eyes from staying up late with him, watching over him, and allowing Hijikata to wake him up just because he wanted to talk to him.

With their hands the way they were, Hijikata could feel Gintoki's pulse and though Gintoki was gentle and outwardly calm, his heart was racing. A frantic heart in a situation like this said a lot of things and it told Hijikata that Gintoki cared about him. He'd known that – for a long time, he'd known without acknowledging it. Maybe he hadn't been ready to acknowledge it or maybe it had just been so right and natural that he hadn't needed to think twice about it.

Hijikata should snap out of this and reassure Gintoki that he was fine because he _was_ fine, but perhaps there really was something off with him since he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was being selfish again and honestly, he was sort of being an asshole about it, but he liked having Gintoki's full attention like this. He hadn't wanted to be with someone like this ever before and that was certainly an eye opening thing to admit to himself. Previously, he'd run away from this, turned his back on it, but he didn't want to do that this time.

For the first time in years, Hijikata could see a future. It was the same feeling he'd gotten when he'd followed Kondo. He'd _known_ then that his future was wherever Kondo led him just as he knew now that whatever the future held for him, Gintoki would be part of it. Whether as a friend or something more, Gintoki was going to be woven into his life as thoroughly as he was right in this moment.

Hijikata had somewhat known it was happening, he could feel it, but he still hadn't been prepared for it to fully hit him. He felt Gintoki's frantic heartbeat once more and thought that maybe... he felt the same. Maybe Hijikata had just realized the significance of all this before Gintoki had and that was a gigantic thought to consider.

Gintoki's wings were drawn in close, hugging his body as much as possible, and they were so compact that Hijikata knew it didn't feel good to have them that way, especially due to how Gintoki was kneeling in front of him. He needed to spread his wings out so they wouldn't be pressed so awkwardly against the floor, they were way too large to be held like that. It was strange, too, because every so often Gintoki's wings would make an attempt to move forward as if to open and shield Hijikata, but the movements were always aborted.

Gintoki had had no problems opening his wings before, so what made now any different? Why be so unnecessarily uncomfortable when his wings obviously wanted to move and knew where they wanted to go? He had the space for it as well, so what was the issue?

Then, it hit him and he glared _hard_ at Gintoki.

“Oh! I know that face! Do you have to p –”

“No! I don't have to pee!”

“That's more like it,” Gintoki said on a relieved breath.

Gintoki's wings stayed folded tightly in and Hijikata _knew_ he was doing it because he didn't want Otose to see how thinned they were. He was hiding them from her, hiding the evidence that he wasn't entirely okay, and he was doing it on purpose.

“It seems you've got everything under control,” Otose said softly. “We'll finish our conversation later.”

Hijikata didn't know if he shifted to get up or if that was an attempt at some form of gratitude, but Gintoki squeezed his leg.

“No, no, stay put. You don't wanna do too much too soon. Wan will be here any minute to have a look at you.”

“That wasn't – this isn't something Wan can help with.”

Gintoki winced. “Right, I know that. Shit – you okay to see him or –”

“It's fine,” Hijikata assured and he felt _terrible_ for letting Gintoki think that had been a bout of PTSD, but it was too late to correct him without having to explain everything. “That was nothing. I'm okay, I promise.”

“If you're okay now, then... good, obviously, but don't,” Gintoki's eyes skittered and his nose curled slightly, “don't tell me that was _nothing_.”

Hijikata very nearly smiled.

“You're still bleeding.”

Gintoki glanced at his arm where the yukata had slipped down again. “The blood is dried, I'll wrap it up here soon.”

“Where're the birds?”

“You... didn't see what I did?”

“Apparently not.”

“They were scared,” Gintoki said in a hushed tone and altered his position so Hijikata could see. “All I could think to do was get their basket. It's probably the only safe space they have right now, you know? They were okay with going in there if I kept them with me, so, here we are.” He raised his voice and asked, “You doing okay in there?”

A couple tweets came out from within the basket, but they were soft and pretty unenthusiastic. Gintoki frowned and almost looked upset for a quick second before he covered it up and the lines that had been on his forehead smoothed out.

“You really _can_ communicate with them, huh?”

“Like I said, kinda. It's nothing complicated.” He looked down at the basket once more. “You two wanna show him?” There was only a slight hesitation and then twin chirps came again. “See? You ask a yes or no question and they answer noise for yes and silence for no.”

Gintoki reached down and pulled the basket out from where it had been nestled protectively against his leg. He undid the top and opened it slowly, giving the birds plenty of time to prepare themselves and adjust to the light. Ryse peered up at them and Öone watched them with one eye since he was plopped over onto his side. Gintoki reached into the basket and carefully nudged Öone until he was back on both feet.

“We should take care of your arm really quick,” Hijikata said.

“My arm is _fine,_ dumbass. I just didn't know their claws were that sharp, it's not a big deal.”

“Oh... I thought since they were up here on the sofas earlier....”

“Did you miss the Jump staircase I made over there?” Hijikata scoffed and felt like an idiot for not putting two and two together. Gintoki patted Hijikata's leg almost as if to comfort him and continued, “They hadn't let me pick them up before the old hag got here.”

He moved the basket and placed it up on the sofa next to Hijikata where they could both see the birds and the birds could both see them. Öone looked unsteady on his feet still, but he remained standing and Ryse was watching them expectantly, almost eagerly.

“We covered yes or no questions, so what sound do you make if you want my attention?”

The birds made an interesting sound and all told, it was kind of nice. It was a song-like trill, a _piiii-ya piiii-ya_ , and Hijikata could easily see Gintoki running to the sound. Just then, Gintoki took Hijikata's wrists in his hands and lifted them to cover his ears. Hijikata didn't protest and let Gintoki's hands cover his own.

“What're you gonna do if there's an emergency?” Gintoki pressed both their hands more firmly over Hijikata's ears, which blocked out only _some_ of the ungodly noise that came screeching out of Öone and Ryse as they hopped and ran around the limited area within the small basket. Gintoki winced against the screeches, but there was something like a smile on his face – a pained smile, but no less genuine for the fact. “Okay! Shut up! He gets it!”

Ryse kept going awhile longer, but stopped when he bumped into Öone and knocked him over. Gintoki released Hijikata's hands and once more nudged Öone back onto his feet.

“That'll certainly get someone's attention.”

“Who knew such annoying sounds could come of such tiny bodies?”

Hijikata snorted. “I used to think the same of Kagura.”

Gintoki chuckled and let Ryse idly peck at his hand.

“Should you two make up a sound for him, too?”

Ryse and Öone exchanged looks and talked quietly amongst themselves. Gintoki and Hijikata watched and waited and soon, the birds were making a _pi-ya-ya-ya pi-ya-ya-ya_ noise in unison.

“I can remember that,” Hijikata told them. He paused and looked to Gintoki, asking, “Should I thank them?”

“Don't talk about them like they're not here, just say thanks and be done with it.”

“Ah,” he looked to the birds, “thanks.”

They stared at him in such an unnerving way that he started to fidget. He was saved from any prolonged exposure to the staring by a loud knock resounding from the front door and both birds flinched into a corner of the basket. Gintoki closed the top over them and picked the basket up, holding it close to his chest.

“I should probably go get that.”

Hijikata started to stand. “I can do it. I can take him into the kitchen and you can bring in the birds if they still wanna meet him.”

“That's alright,” Gintoki said quickly and pushed Hijikata back down with a hand on his chest. “I got it. My apartment, my rules.”

“What does your landlord have to say about that?”

“I'm not dumb enough to say that to my landlord,” Gintoki informed him and stood, “she'd send Tama after me and I wouldn't stand a chance.”

Gintoki left to get the door and Hijikata watched him go with a heart so full it felt like it might burst. He hadn't thought he'd fall in love with anyone after Mitsuba, but here he was and even if he didn't know when, he'd fallen in love all the same. He wanted to do things differently this time and he wanted to _enjoy_ this in a way he hadn't allowed himself to in the past. He had only just figured out he was in love with Gintoki... all he wanted to do now was explore that and open himself up to the possibility that Gintoki might just return the feeling.

**To Be Continued**

 


	35. Realizations Change Everything and Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit talk.

**[Art By: Aga <3](kvei.tumblr.com) **

Gintoki kept the basket held to him and let the birds know when he was opening the door. Wan gave him a loud greeting and Gintoki returned it, but more quietly. He let Wan in and tried not to hurry back to Hijikata, but that was what he ended up doing anyway. He kept the basket held closely to him the whole time and he kept an arm wrapped around the front of it to eliminate any chance that it might slip from his grip.

“So, something big happened since the last time you were here,” Gintoki began.

“It'd probably be easier if we just showed him first.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, why not?”

Gintoki shrugged and moved until he was standing right in front of Wan.

“I'm opening the basket now,” Gintoki told the birds and lifted the top with the same slowness as before.

Wan peered a little closer and his eyes widened comically when he saw the birds pressed tightly together in one of the corners. They stared at him and the moment he opened his mouth to speak, the alarm sounded. Ryse and Öone were screaming and as if on reflex, Gintoki screamed with them and quickly shut the lid of the basket.

“You might wanna take them outta here,” Hijikata said and took his hands off his ears.

“Yeah, I'll leave you to explain things to him.”

He started to leave, but paused and looked to Hijikata.

“It's okay,” Hijikata assured. “We'll be fine.”

Gintoki watched for an extra few seconds, enough time for Hijikata to change his mind, then nodded and went to the kitchen. Hijikata wouldn't lie and risk having a moment in front of Wan, which meant he really was okay now.

“It's just us again, you guys wanna come out?”

They made a lot of sound in response and Gintoki opened the top to let them out, but he didn't tip the basket over. He put his hand in and lowered it with his palm open like an offering. After some hesitation, the small white blob that was Ryse hopped into his hand and Gintoki lifted him up to eye level.

“No one can get in here without getting by me first,” Gintoki told him and seated himself with his back to the open doorway. He lowered Ryse to the floor, then reached back into the basket and waited for Öone to get onto his palm before transporting him. The two of them needed to get used to being picked up, it would be an issue if there was an emergency and no one could scoop them up to keep them safe if need be. “Run around, blow off some steam, tire yourselves out.”

Ryse started moving right away and all he did was run around the room collecting feathers that he put into a pile near Gintoki. His legs were a blur as he sprinted from one side of the room to the other and the feathers he picked up fluttered in his beak as he ran with them. Öone circled the pile of feathers and Gintoki didn't know exactly what he was doing, but it looked like he was keeping them in order. Gintoki watched and slowly, the pile of feathers grew from one to five, from five to ten, from ten to twenty. Behind him, he could hear Hijikata and Wan talking, but he couldn't quite make out what they were saying. Not that it mattered – all that mattered was that their voices were calm and steady.

“Oh, wait! Gather up, you two! I've got something to ask you!” Öone turned to face him, Ryse ran over as fast as he could, and both birds looked up at Gintoki with almost comedic determination. Gintoki took a deep breath and stared at both of them in turn. “Okay, I've gotta know... can I fly?”

They blinked in unison and then Öone looked to Ryse and chirped. That single chirp sent Ryse into a chirping fit and within moments, the two of them were having a frenzied discussion back and forth. After awhile, Ryse spun around and yelled at him in one long and loud _pi-yaaaaaaaaaaaaa_.

“I don't know what that means,” Gintoki replied.

Ryse shuffled in a quick circle and waggled his butt while Öone chirped at Gintoki.

“This feels wrong,” Gintoki confided. “Stop doing that, I don't think you should be doing that! I don't even know how old you are! Quit it!”

Ryse fell forward onto his chest since he'd been leaning over too far and he scrambled to get back up. Once he was up, he made a show of turned around again and Öone mirrored him. Soon, they were both standing with their rears facing him and Gintoki nearly shielded his eyes. Ryse started moving his backside from left to right and when Öone did it, he fell over. Gintoki reached over and nudged him back up while Ryse continued his little display.

“Tail...” Gintoki said and when both birds peeped, he finished, “feathers.” Ryse and Öone turned on him and bobbed up and down, so Gintoki put things together and exclaimed, “Tail feathers!”

Ryse made noise for him, but Öone sneezed and the force of it had him falling on his behind. The the lack of tail feathers explained why Gintoki hadn't been able to control himself when he jumped out of the tree, but it didn't really answer if he could fly or not. His guess was that the birds weren't sure, but they knew that not having tail feathers would impede flying. It was something to consider, anyway.

Gintoki thought this over while Ryse inspected his pile of feathers and that was when Gintoki noticed something. The feathers in the pile were a brighter white than Ryse's feathers and the contrast made Gintoki frown. He leaned in closer, squinting, and sighed in understanding.

“You're filthy,” he said to Ryse and looked to Öone, “you're probably just as dirty, but I can't tell since your feathers are black. Can you swim?” They remained silent – Öone sat down and fell onto his back – and Gintoki smiled a little. “That's okay, neither can I. I'll go get you a tub – er, bucket. No, a bowl, maybe.”

He only got two steps away before the birds were screaming at him and Öone was flopping around trying to get his feet back under him. Öone ran over and body slammed into Gintoki's leg, twittering madly. Gintoki chuckled and bent down with his free hand open for Öone to hop into. He stood back up and put his hands together so Öone and Ryse could stand together watching him. He took them over to the sink and deposited them onto the countertop.

“I wasn't gonna leave the room, you idiots.”

He rifled around in the cupboards until he found a decent sized bowl that would fit both of them in it. Turning on the water, he tested it on his wrist until it was warm enough, then put the bowl in the sink so it could fill up a bit. They must have wanted to get clean because neither of them made a fuss about jumping into the water and once they were in, they were splashing about and getting water everywhere. Gintoki let them do as they pleased for awhile and even turned the water on low so they could get underneath it. Whenever the water got too high in the bowl, he used a cup to take some out and he never let it reach too high on their bellies.

“Oi, I'm coming in!” The birds froze, but once they saw Hijikata pushing the partition aside, they went back to enjoying the water. He eyed the pile of feathers as he stepped around them, but made no mention of them. “You're giving them a bath?”

“They need one,” Gintoki replied. “Did Wan leave?”

“Yeah, but he'll be back tomorrow.”

“I see he redressed your wing, what'd he have to say about it?”

Öone stopped playing and listened to Hijikata respond, “It's still healing well and fast. Tomorrow might be the last day I have to wear the splints and tomorrow night should be safe for me to sleep on a futon instead of having to keep the wing propped up.”

“That's good!”

“I called Kondo as well and asked if he could come over tomorrow instead. I told him the situation and caught him up on Wan's diagnosis.”

Gintoki scooped water into the cup and poured it down the sink outside of the bowl. Öone had gone back to playing and he was currently fighting with Ryse over who got to stand underneath the faucet.

“That's for the best considering how they reacted to Wan.”

“You need any help?”

“Actually, yeah. I don't think the dish soap we have is safe for them, could you look in the bathroom for something that might be okay for feathery Amanto blobs?”

Hijikata snorted. “Will it say that in the description?”

“It might, who knows?”

“Alright, I'll be right back.” While he waits, Gintoki keeps the birds entertained and continues maintaining a safe water level for them. “I found a couple that might work, but I think it'd be best to use this one.”

“I forgot we had that!”

Gintoki shut the water off and took the bottle of liquid soap they used for Sadaharu's baths. It didn't say it was for dogs only anywhere, so Gintoki deemed it safe and set it on the counter for them to use. He grabbed a few dish towels and spread them out on the counter, then brought the birds out of the bowl.

“Which one do you want?”

Hijikata got closer to the counter and his bound wing pressed up against Gintoki. He spread his wing out and brought it around Hijikata so he'd have more room and Hijikata moved in closer so that his wing was resting comfortably against Gintoki's shoulder. Gintoki just figured he was still a bit out of it right now and was maybe subconsciously seeking out comfort. Gintoki didn't usually do that, but everyone handled their own issues differently and he'd give Hijikata whatever he needed.

“Whichever one minds me the least, I guess.”

Gintoki looked at the birds in question and after the two chirped at each other, Ryse walked over and stood in front of Hijikata.

“They sure like you a lot,” Hijikata murmured while Ryse stared him down. “How'd you get them to warm up to you?”

“Talked to them, I guess,” Gintoki replied and shrugged.

“About what?”

“I don't know... _stuff_.” Hijikata glared at him and Gintoki held out for awhile, but his shoulders slowly began to slump in defeat. Looking to the birds – first Ryse, then Öone – he asked, “What do you think? Should I tell him?” Both of them made noise and he shook his head as he reached for the soap. “I'll consider it, now hold still or I might get soap in your eyes.”

He poured some soap into one palm and handed the bottle off to Hijikata. Just in time, he brought his hand back to support Öone before he leaned too far to the right and rolled over.

“That one acts different than this one,” Hijikata said. “He keeps falling on his side like he can't stand up.” Gintoki's fingers caged Öone in and he used one of his thumbs to scratch and rub along his neck. It spread the soap, creating a thick lather in his feathers, and Öone's eyes closed to half-mast. “Do you think his lack of balance has something to do with my wings twitching?”

“It could, but...” he trailed off and pursed his lips.

Hijikata's wing nudged him gently and when he tilted his head to glance over, Hijikata was giving him a sidelong look.

“But?”

“I don't really know how to explain it.”

“It's just us,” Hijikata replied and said no more.

He nudged Gintoki one more time to prompt him, then his wing was once again resting warmly along Gintoki's shoulder. It was an open-ended encouragement that required no answer if he decided he didn't want to say anything. Hijikata's attention was back on Ryse and he scowled when Ryse gave him a hard peck on his pinky. Gintoki's mouth twitched at the corner and he looked down at Öone, who was nestled trustingly in the crook of Gintoki's thumb and forefinger.

“He seems sad,” he said after awhile and searched for the right words. “They both do.” Öone's small feathers, so soft and downy, parted beneath his touch. “In a way, they're as trapped as we are.”

Öone was dozing and leaning into the attention even as the suds around him built up. The birds had been tortured and Gintoki could understand that. He and Hijikata couldn't fly and couldn't live their daily lives just like the birds couldn't fly and couldn't do anything they wanted to do, either. All four of them were stuck, but for Ryse and Öone, they'd finally escaped their captors, yet they still weren't truly free. Instead, they got to live in a basket and watch people they didn't know walk around with their wings on their backs.

“With all those nerves,” Gintoki went on, “having their wings taken off them over and over again must've hurt. Probably worse than breaking one, but that's just a guess.” Gintoki wiped the fingers of his free hand on the towel to get any fallen feathers off of them and rubbed at a spot he'd missed on Öone's side. “I think they're exhausted and need time to adjust after being held against their will for so long.”

“Is that something you'd know about?”

Gintoki glanced at Hijikata subtly through his fringe and Hijikata was still focused on Ryse. He couldn't tell if he'd said too much or not enough and he kind of wished he hadn't said anything at all, but it was too late to take any of it back now.

“Yeah,” he relented with a casual shrug and transferred Öone into the bowl to start rinsing him off.

Gintoki saw Hijikata nod, then heard him curse as Ryse pecked at him again.

“You should've taken care of this one, he's a menace!”

“He's not so bad,” Gintoki retorted. “You're a good bird, aren't you?”

Ryse chirped really loud in answer and went after Hijikata's fingers with a vengeance. Öone started to wake up and began moving around in the water on his own. Gintoki turned the tap back on and Öone hopped around beneath it. Suddenly, Ryse sprinted the short distance to the sink and jumped into the bowl, which sent a wave of water and suds over the rim. Gintoki whined at them both, but they weren't paying him any attention, they were too busy splashing about.

“I'm gonna go wash my hands in the bathroom,” Hijikata said and the warm weight of him next to Gintoki disappeared.

-o-O-o-

Hijikata's heart was pounding in his ears and as soon as he had the bathroom door shut behind him, he was rinsing his hands so he could smother his burning face with cold water. He even laughed at himself a little because _how_ had he gone so long without realizing he felt _this much_ for Gintoki? He'd discovered a lot about Gintoki all in one day and that coupled with the things Hijikata had discovered about himself was once more overwhelming.

He'd known Gintoki had gone through some type of torture after the war. The details were still fuzzy, but in his background check and during the surveillance he'd set up on Gintoki, he'd scrounged up a very loose idea of what had happened. Gintoki had even read about it in his own file, so it wasn't like it was really a _secret_ , but Hijikata hadn't thought Gintoki would talk about it like he just had. Good god, the man could commiserate with a couple depressed Amanto _birds_!

Hijikata wiped his face dry and leaned back against the wall in the small space. His head was reeling and though he'd told himself that he was going to take things slow and enjoy this, he'd very nearly grabbed Gintoki and kissed right there in the kitchen. The _look_ on Gintoki's face, the things he was saying of his own volition, the trust he was slowly giving Hijikata, little by little – that was what got Hijikata's heart beating.

He shook his head at himself and took a deep breath before returning to the kitchen. He'd probably discovered too much all at once and he needed to allow himself more time to digest it, that had to be it. Gintoki had finished washing the birds and it looked like he'd just finished cleaning up any messes that had been created during the event.

“Are either of you hungry?” Both of them hopped around excitedly and, snorting, Gintoki raised Ryse to his shoulder for him to climb on. He kept Öone in his palm, probably because he fell over so much, and Gintoki went to the fridge. He caught sight of Hijikata and raised a brow, asking, “What do you think they eat?”

“Food.”

“Boo!” Gintoki jeered. “Terrible answer! Not helpful!”

Hijikata rolled his eyes and walked over to Gintoki. “You know what else isn't helpful?”

“An empty bank account? A corrupt economy? No sugar content?”

“A mangled arm,” Hijikata said and grabbed Gintoki's wrist. He brought it up until the sleeve went down and all the flaky bits of dried blood around the scratches were still there. “You still haven't taken care of this like you said you would.”

“I forgot about it.”

“It probably stings.”

“I really haven't noticed.”

Hijikata glared halfheartedly. “This is what's gonna happen, Yorozuya. I'm gonna leave and take care of three things. While I'm gone, you're gonna feed the birds and find something for us to eat because I'm starving. Then, before we eat, I'm gonna take care of this and you're gonna shut up and let me. Got it?”

Gintoki squinted at him like he might protest, but he eventually nodded. Hijikata's wrist was nice and warm in his hand and he gave it a light squeeze before letting him go. He happened to glance down and Öone was giving him a ridiculously knowing look and it was so unnerving that Hijikata momentarily froze.

“Something wrong?”

“No,” Hijikata replied and looked up at Gintoki, which was a mistake in itself. “Nothing. I'll just be....”

He pointed toward the living room and quickly walked that way before he did or said something stupid. The three things he wanted to get done were simple and didn't take much time. The first was sorting some paperwork because he was behind and needed to get _something_ done today. The second was sending a couple short texts, one to Yamazaki and one to Kondo. The one to Kondo was an informative update and the one to Yamazaki was a special request for tomorrow. The last thing he did was grab some supplies to dress Gintoki's arm and all together, it took him fifteen minutes to get everything done.

He walked into the kitchen to find Gintoki seated at the kotatsu, food on either side, a mayo bottle next to Hijikata's bowl, and the birds around a plate in the middle. Hijikata sat down at the corner next to Gintoki and pulled his arm over to himself.

“They like rice,” Gintoki informed him.

“Uncooked or cooked?”

“Cooked. I think it's dangerous to give them uncooked rice? Ketsuno Ana once had a news segment about birds eating uncooked rice and it expanded in their stomachs and killed them.” Ryse and Öone stopped eating and looked at Gintoki. “It's fine! That's cooked rice, it's already expanded!”

They went back to eating and Hijikata thought about it a moment, then pulled his bowl of food closer. There weren't any drinks, so he got up and poured them each a glass of a water. For the birds, he found a tiny sauce bowl and he dampened a cloth to wash Gintoki's wounds with. It took two trips to get everything safely to the table and it didn't escape him that Gintoki was more concerned with putting more food out for the birds than he was eating any of it himself.

“Ryse's color matches the color of my wings now,” Gintoki said.

Hijikata glanced at Ryse and his feathers were a brighter white now, no longer off-white and unruly.

“Öone looks about the same.”

“I can't imagine why,” Gintoki replied and smirked.

Hijikata shoveled some food into his mouth and then pulled Gintoki's arm over to him. He moved the sleeve down and used the cloth to remove all the dried blood. It took some effort since the blood had congealed into a hard shell and Hijikata had to work to get it to come off. The friction upset the wounds and one of them started to bleed again, but Gintoki didn't seem bothered by it at all. He hissed when Hijikata sprayed on some antiseptic, but he didn't yank his arm away. Not that he would have been able to if he tried since Hijikata had a good hold on it.

“Whatever this is, it's good,” Hijikata said after taking another huge bite.

“It's just stuff on top of rice.”

“It's good.”

“Good,” Gintoki grumbled and leaned so his forearms were pressed against the table.

He yawned and stretched his back, which made his wings spread out and open wide. He hadn't been holding them in close since Otose left and Hijikata still found that whole thing unsettling. The birds were drinking their water and Hijikata finished with Gintoki's arm once he was done stretching. He wrapped it up nicely and made sure it was tight enough that it wouldn't fall off, but loose enough that it wouldn't cut off circulation.

“That feel okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Hijikata nodded and reached up to rub his shoulder. Of course, that attracted Gintoki's attention and he pointed toward the living room. “Your cup of painkiller is out there, you wanna sip?”

“Not right now, but definitely later. I haven't had it propped up for awhile and I'm starting to feel it.”

“You should've just said so,” Gintoki replied and maneuvered his wing in until he got it underneath Hijikata's.

Since they weren't directly side by side, Gintoki had enough room to lift Hijikata's wing up and take the weight off of it. Hijikata sighed in relief and rubbed his shoulder a little more until it stopped aching so much. Gintoki used his chopsticks to move more rice from his bowl and put it on the plate for the birds.

“Normally, people eat their own food, not give it away,” Hijikata said drily.

“Normally, that'd be true, but who knows how long it has been since they've been able to eat anything.”

“That's all going to come out the other end eventually.”

“I have a giant Amanto dog that takes shits bigger than both of them combined, I'm well aware where their food will come out of, thank you.”

“They'll need a litter box or something.”

“I'll make it if you'll clean it.”

The food Hijikata had collected in his chopsticks fell free and he whipped his head over to Gintoki.

“That's obviously not how it's gonna happen. It was my idea to make one, so I should make it and _you_ should clean it.”

For the next ten minutes, they bickered over how to handle the bird litter box. What it should be made of, how it should be set up, who would clean it on what days. Throughout it all, Gintoki's wing kept Hijikata's healing one supported and beneath the table, Hijikata's knee pressed against Gintoki's thigh. It was comfortable and not just because the air conditioner was working hard to keep everything nice and cool for them.

In the back of his mind, Hijikata relished the thought that this could be any regular night once the wings were gone. Hijikata could come here, have dinner, sit with Gintoki, enjoy his company, and afterward....

“Did shit talk really embarrass you just now?” Gintoki asked. “I start arguing about the size of their shits in ratio to the size of the litter box and you light up like a Pachinko machine?”

“No,” Hijikata replied and nearly choked on the word. “Shut up, that's not it!”

He coughed into his hand and he definitely _didn't_ glance at Gintoki's lips. He thumped his chest and Gintoki slid his cup of water closer to him in a quiet offering. Öone ceased whatever he'd been doing with Ryse and did that dumb unnerving staring thing like before. Hijikata glared at him and drank some water because he didn't know what else to do, but he had to do _something_.

“Maybe that's enough talking shit for one afternoon,” Gintoki said once Hijikata had collected himself.

“It's closer to evening now.”

“Ah, I lost track of time.”

“I was gonna do some paperwork after this.”

“At my desk?”

“Well, I wasn't gonna do it on the floor.”

Gintoki stuck his tongue out. “Not what I meant, asshole. You should do it on the sofas, then you'd have something to rest your wing against.”

Hijikata definitely didn't glance at Gintoki's tongue and lips and he for sure didn't consider doing _it_ on the floor or the sofas. There was no way in hell he thought about all the many different things _it_ could stand for and he rubbed his face with his hand. Gintoki wordlessly picked up his own glass of water and put it in front of Hijikata.

“Thanks,” Hijikata mumbled and drank what was left. He was going to have to pee so much later because of this and he only had himself to blame. “Sorry, I think the uhh... wing is messing with me.”

Oh, and the latent discovery that he wasn't entirely straight after all. It had taken Gintoki for that little detail to manifest itself and Hijikata wasn't bothered by the revelation regarding his sexuality, but it was _new_ , so it'd take some getting used to. It made him wonder what Gintoki's preferences were, too. He liked Ketsuno Ana, that was obvious, but he'd also been in a war and spent a majority of his time exclusively around other guys.

“You're right,” Hijikata said, interrupting his own thoughts since now was _not_ the time to be thinking about this. “The sofas would be best.”

“While you're doing your paperwork, I'll figure out something to do with them.”

The birds trotted over and Gintoki did the same thing as before – he put Ryse on his shoulder and held Öone in his hand. Hijikata helped clear the table and on his way out to the living room, he put away the supplies he'd used to dress Gintoki's arm. He needed his paperwork now more than ever, or so it felt, because he wanted a good and productive distraction. His brain hurt from information overload and really, there was only so many things he could discover in one day before reaching his limit. He grabbed the stack he'd set aside and was just getting himself comfortable on the sofas when Gintoki came in.

“Let's see if you guys like TV dramas,” Gintoki said and turned the television on. It crackled to life, the picture a little fuzzy at first, and then it cleared to show a commercial. Both birds screamed and Gintoki yelled as well as he did his best to keep a good hold on them while they wriggled. Ryse had dropped from his shoulder into his hand as if to protect Öone and they were doing an emergency call. “It's okay, it's okay! They can't come out of the box!”

That seemed to settle them down some, but Öone stayed buried and mostly obscured in Gintoki's yukata. Ryse was the first to recover and he hopped meaningfully against Gintoki's arm with his eyes on the TV. With some fumbling, Gintoki let Ryse stand on his palm and he held Ryse near the TV so he could see nothing was going to come out and get him. Once he knew he was safe, Ryse took particular interest in the TV and even tried tweeting at them until Gintoki told him the _boxed people_ couldn't hear him.

“Do you think there's a show with birds in it for them? They'd probably like that, right?”

“I'm sure they would, but I don't know what channels you get or what the programs for those channels are.”

“Tama might know,” Gintoki murmured to, seemingly, himself.

The static from the TV was making Ryse's feathers stand on end, so he looked particularly fluffy. With his wing propped up, Hijikata began his paperwork, but the odd angle put some strain on his back. He said nothing about it and did his work for as long as he could. Gintoki was kind of busy during this time and Hijikata enjoyed looking up at the desk and watching him talk to the birds while he redid their basket. He mostly bitched at them, but they seemed to enjoy that and Ryse especially made a nuisance out of himself. Öone stayed close to Gintoki and typically perched on his forearm or anywhere that impeded Gintoki's progress. In the background, the TV kept playing, but it was low enough that it wasn't a bother to Hijikata.

“Okay,” Hijikata breathed once he'd reached the end of the stack, “I'm done for the day.”

“I think they are as well.”

Hijikata looked up and the birds could barely keep their eyes open as they wobbled dangerously like they might tip over. Gintoki kept them from rolling and Hijikata smiled to himself as he carefully got up.

“I'm gonna go get ready for bed, you can make them a place on the sofas or wherever they wanna sleep.”

Hijikata went about his nightly routine and peed because after all that water, he'd had to pee for the last two hours. While he had a minute, he marveled at himself because he was still wearing Gintoki's clothes, they still smelled like him, and they were comfortable. It was no wonder Gintoki wore them so often and didn't make any effort to change his wardrobe much. If things went well, then Hijikata could wear this outfit whenever he wanted and at the mere thought, his brain went into overdrive again.

Once his face was the proper color, he returned to the living room to find one of the blankets in a heap next to the desk. He stopped where he was and looked at it curiously.

“We should've made a litter box sooner,” Gintoki said and cringed. “I'll go get us another blanket.”

He was headed for the closet where Kagura slept, but Hijikata never heard the door slide open. The sound of footsteps had stopped, there was no noise coming from the hall at all, and Hijikata's stomach started to sink. He pictured Gintoki with his hand out, ready to open the door, but unable to do it knowing his kid wasn't there. It was like Gintoki had momentarily forgotten she was gone and it hit him again looking at the closet door.

The thought gained credence when there was no sound of the door and Gintoki walked back down the hall empty handed. He went to his room mumbling about how there was a better blanket somewhere in his cabinets, but Hijikata wasn't buying it. Hijikata said nothing about and went to get his cup of watered down painkillers. He took a very small sip, he didn't need much, and winced because the taste did not pair well with his toothpaste. After that, he got onto the sofas, pulled his blanket around himself, and propped his wing on the seat.

Gintoki came back and turned off the lights and the TV, then picked up the birds from where they'd been deposited on the desk after soiling the blanket. It took Gintoki some time to get everything situated and Hijikata helped where he could, but like the birds, he was starting to get drowsy pretty quickly. Finally, Gintoki settled down in his cramped position leaning forward against the futons so they were facing each other. There was even less room for him now that Ryse and Öone had a small nest on the corner of the right sofa, but he didn't complain. Hijikata was tempted to tell him to take the birds and go sleep on the futon, but he knew better. Gintoki would refuse to go and either way, Gintoki wasn't going to be getting much sleep. Also, Hijikata was selfish enough to want him to stay where he was, so....

Hijikata reached forward in the dark and lightly tapped a couple of his fingers against the nearest part of Gintoki he could reach. He didn't have to reach very far at all since they were in such close quarters and while his eyes were still adjusting, he could just make out the way Gintoki tilted his head to look at him.

“Goodnight.”

Gintoki let out an amused breath and replied, “G'night.”

Hijikata fell asleep not longer after with his fingers still touching Gintoki's skin.

**To Be Continued**

 

 


End file.
